All language subtitles for Dukes of Hazzard 1x09 limo one is missing

They stoIe the President's car!

Hit it.

Keep your eye on her taiI.

You dumb dipstick.

This one will really make your teeth itch.

The main road into Hazzard County
ain't exactly the Pennsylvania Turnpike.

But occasionally it makes up in quality
what it lacks in volume.

You've heard of Air Force One...

the President of the United States'
private plane.

There's also Limo One, his official car.

When he goes South for a visit,
he sends it ahead...

so he can use it while he's down there.

Sector one, this is Limo One.
We're almost out of gas.

And we could all use some coffee.

Which makes the Boars Nest
the ideal spot for refueling.

-FiII her up?
-Good. Thank you.

-Three coffees.
-WouId you Iike anything eIse?

Nothing that's on the menu.

Making eyes at Daisy Duke
just goes to prove...

that lusting in the heart ain't necessarily
confined to the Oval Office.

Bo stiII trying to get rid of his hiccups?

He's been hoIding his breath
for a minute and a haIf.

One forty-five.

Looks good in bIue, don't he?

I stiII say what you need is a good scare.

And the best way to get that in here
is try the food.

How do you think I got the hiccups
in the first pIace?

Let's get out of here.

See you, Daisy.

Now that is some kind of automobiIe.

Yes, sirree.

That there's the big boss' car, ain't it?

I'd be president just to ride that thing.

We'II see you Iater, Cooter.

You're the prettiest thing I've ever seen.

Big Mama, you mind
if I just sit on your Iap for a minute?

No doubt about it. Cooter was in love.

And blessed with the most talented
hot-wiring fingers in Hazzard County...

it wasn't long
before nature took its course.

Anybody order me a coffee?

I thought you were watching the Iimo.

From the men's room? I thought you were.

I don't beIieve it. It's gone. Get the others.

Get on it. Quick.

You reaIize, if we don't find that Iimo...

we're going to be picking peanuts
the rest of our Iives?

Go, go.

80, 90...

100, 1 10....

-You know why you got them hiccups?
-Why?

Because you scarf food
Iike tomorrow was the first day...

of a six-month famine, that's why.

Cute.

I swear, these dang back country roads....

Did you see what I just saw?

I wish to heck I hadn't.

Crazy Cooter's gone
and stoIen the President's car.

No, Cooter wouId never do that.
Maybe somebody just Iet him borrow it.

That somebody just changed his mind.

-Hit it.
-10-4.

Dead end. You thinking what I'm thinking?

Like aIways.

I think they're thinking
what we're thinking.

You think so?

Dead end.
They must have gone up the other road.

Now what are you doing, Bo?

I don't know. Everything's working so far.

Good heavens!

You know, they reaIIy fIy nice.

Let's hope they swim pretty good, too.
Let's go find Cooter.

Don't you ever bust in here again
without knocking.

You dang near made me cut off
my counting thumb.

Listen, I'm sorry about that,
but this is reaIIy important.

You know those auto thieves who've been
working the county the Iast few months?

Yeah. No.

You ain't gone and caught them,
have you?

No.

But they messed up.
I mean, they reaIIy messed up this time.

-You know what they've done?
-No.

They stoIe the President's car.

-They what?
-They stoIe--

Limo One?

Those idiots stoIe the President's car?

I just wonder how much reward
I'm going to get...

for bringing that important car back.

Lots.

Old Boss is quicker at finding angles
to help himself than anyone in this county.

Maybe this continent.

Rosco, I think it behooves us
to find that Iimousine...

before the peopIe from Washington do.

So I can return it to the President myseIf.

You'II do what?

And when the President
writes me his thanks...

I'm going to frame his Ietter
and hang it on this waII.

Right here.

-With a IittIe Iight shining right on it.
-Just twinkIe, twinkIe.

There's onIy one thing
worse than a gIutton...

and that's a fooI.
And this famiIy has two of them.

Do you reaIize...

that by decoying them state troopers
off Cooter's traiI...

you made yourseIves part and parceI
to a feIony?

We couIdn't Iet him get caught.
Cooter's our friend.

Besides, he's probabIy
shed of the evidence by now.

That's beside the point.

The President's car is stoIen
in Hazzard County.

The President of these United States.

Now, you two find Cooter.

And you make sure he Ieaves that car
somewhere where it'II be found.

And don't get yourseIves
caught in the process...

because if you do,
I'm going to tan both your hides.

And get rid of them hiccups.

Hurry up.

AII right, hurry up.

What you're seeing here
is a man who knows the territory...

and how to use it.

This is a forgotten road to the old
abandoned mining town of Choctaw.

When the ore disappeared 60 years ago,
so did the people.

Boss used to use it
to warehouse his moonshine.

But Boss had kept up with the times.

Take her in.

Now this here secret establishment
is called a chop shop.

And there ain't a bite of meat
on the premises.

You see, stolen cars are chopped up
and sold for parts outside the country.

Of course, Boss hadn't bothered
to tell Sheriff Rosco about it...

because he'd want a cut.

AII right, where is it?

Where are you jackasses
hiding the President's Iimo?

You must be funning with me, Boss.
We ain't got no Iimousine.

-You don't?
-No.

Of course, DooIey and Benteen,
they're stiII out on their reguIar run.

They better make that a gaIIop.
I want that car.

Me, too.

I ain't never chopped
no President's Iimousine.

Why, you couId get $40,000, $50,000
for it down in South America.

We ain't gonna chop the President's Iimo
for no banana dictator.

It's going back in one piece.

It's my bounden duty.
It's the President's Iimo.

Why, he might even phone me...

and thank me himseIf, in person.

-Who?
-The President, that's who.

The kind of man he is, he wouId phone.

A Ietter wouId be too impersonaI.

A teIephone caII from the President.

I took one Iook at that car,
and it was L-U-V-E.

-You know what I got her up to?
-What?

1 10, in second!

You stiII got them hiccups, Bo.

Cooter, where did you put
the President's car?

In y'aII's barn.

-In our barn?
-Why?

It was as far as I couId push her
when she ran out of gas.

Enos, this is Sheriff Rosco.
You got your ears on? Come on.

Yes, sir, Sheriff. OnIy you ain't using
the correct radio procedure.

Enos, it'II do in a pinch,
which is what I want you to do.

I want you to hightaiI it over
to the Duke farm...

and see if you can spot
that President's Iimo.

And if you do, l want you to clap the cuffs
on Bo and Luke Duke.

Over.

You mean arrest them? What for?

For aiding and abetting whoever stoIe it.

Now, we both know who that is.

So l want you to burn rubber, boy...

and l'll be right behind you
in your hip pocket.

-l'm gone.
-Yes, sir.

Do you know what's going to happen
if they find this here?

We're going to spend
the next 10 years in jaiI.

Look, I'm reaIIy sorry, y'aII.

That ain't nothing compared
to what UncIe Jesse's going to do to us.

Grab that gaIIon can of gas.

We got to fiII her up
and get her out of here fast.

Afraid it's too Iate for that.

Don't that throw your hat in the creek?

They got a hot car that's too dry to drive...

and too big to hide...

and the law's getting closer every second.

l smell a little bit
of shuck and jive coming, don't you?

-Hey, Enos, how you doing?
-Hey, Luke, how you doing?

You come around here
Iooking for Daisy, Iike usuaI?

No, this is an officiaI caII, Luke.

I'm Iooking for the President's Iimousine.

I ain't seen Jimmy aII morning.
What makes you think his car wiII be here?

Sheriff CoItrane, he thinks it might be.

I got to do what he says to do, you know.

You want to Iook in our barn?
You go right ahead.

That's mighty nice of you, Luke.

Jimmy Iost his car, huh?

That's what the Sheriff says.

Anyway, I don't see how he couId have
Iost such a big thing Iike that.

Daisy, you ought to be
ashamed of yourseIf.

Didn't Jesse teII you to hang
them unmentionabIes out of sight...

-down in the root ceIIar?
-Hey, Enos...

you see anything wrong
with what I'm doing?

Sure don't, Daisy.

Whatever happened to modesty?

Let's take a Iook in the barn.

The barn.

-You satisfied now?
-That about does it for me, Luke.

There just ain't no pIace
you couId've hid that car.

I mean, even if it was here,
which it obviousIy ain't.

-I'd best be going.
-HoId on a second there.

You ain't checked the other side
of the barn yet.

You're putting me on now.

Who's going to hide a car
right out in the open Iike that?

Now, Enos, you never can teII.

This way...

you'II be abIe to teII Rosco
you unturned every stone.

I Iike that. Thanks, Luke.

I unturned every stone.
That's good. I'II teII him.

Daisy, I toId you to quit that!

UncIe Jesse never said anything
about bikinis.

That girI ain't got an ounce of shame.

CIose your eyes, Enos.

Do I have to, Luke?
I mean, I just won't Iook over that way.

AII right.

Sure am sorry, Luke. I misjudged you.

-I'm sorry.
-It's aII right. No hard feeIings.

I guess I better be going.

This oId barn sure couId use
a coat of paint, couIdn't it?

I'm afraid the extra weight
wouId cave her in.

-Take it easy.
-You bet.

Bye, Daisy.

-Are you ready?
-Just about.

AII right, Iet's go.

Take care, guys.

Enos, this is Sheriff Rosco.

You got them Duke boys apprehended yet?
Come on.

No, sir. Didn't seem no point in it.

The President's car weren't on the farm.
And I unturned every stone.

I don't think they had anything
to do with it.

Enos, you ain't supposed to think.

Them Duke boys are as guiIty as....

Oh, boy.

Judas priest on a pony. That was them.

Don't y'aII worry about oId Rosco none.

Ain't no way in the worId
he's going to catch this car.

UnIess we have to stop for more gas.

There wasn't much more than a gaIIon
in that can.

In a one-gaIIon can? No kidding.

I don't beIieve I said that.

Hang on.

You know something?
Rosco done scared away my hiccups.

But old Boss wasn't going to give up...

because he could already smell
that White House dinner on the stove.

You mean you was yea far...

from the Duke boys
in the President's Iimousine...

and you Iet them sIip off the hook?

It was a IittIe further than that.

Rosco, when they were
handing out the smarts...

you must have been in hiding.

-I didn't get any.
-Didn't get any.

Let's Iook on the bright side of it, Boss.

At Ieast we know now
who's behind that auto-theft ring.

Forget that bunch, wiII you?

Just get me the Duke boys and that car.

Right.

I think I need a few more inches
in the seat.

I think you need a foot.

I don't want to bust my britches...

whiIe I'm bowing to the President's Iady...

on my front porch...

where the President
wiII probabIy bring her...

to thank me personaI...

for finding that Iimousine.

What if I don't find it?

Then I'II have me a brand-new suit
to wear when I visit you...

in the County poorhouse,
where you'II be when you're fired.

Fired?

WouId you mind hoIding that off
for a whiIe...

untiI he finishes making the payments
on his uniform?

-WiII you hush?
-You owe me $12.

-Just hush.
-You're paying for it.

You idiot, is that any pIace
to put your pincushion?

It ain't, no.

-You dipstick.
-I'm sorry.

I hate you.

Darned if that don't look
like old man Pettigrew's barn.

OId man Pettigrew ain't gonna Iike us
Ieaving this Iimo in his barn.

We got no choice.

That oId boat sure don't run very far
on a gaIIon of gas.

-That's for sure.
-Now what?

UnIess she runs on hay, we're going
to have to get back to the farm...

for more gas and a coupIe
of ''I toId you so's'' from Jesse.

That has to be...

pure maIarkey.

Hush.

How about them
highway patroI officers, huh?

-They wiII testify.
-To what?

Did they see who was driving the GeneraI?

WiII they swear under oath
that it was Bo and Luke?

They don't have to.

Because I saw them
with my own eyebaIIs...

a haIf hour before,
driving said stoIen Iimousine.

That's just your word against theirs.

Now git!

He'd throw me out. OId goat.

This just ain't my day.

I just get rid of one fooI,
and three more come tearing in.

UncIe Jesse, we can expIain
the whoIe thing.

Which they did, to Jesse's dissatisfaction.

OId man Pettigrew's barn?

You get that car out of there right now,
and get it out quick.

What for?

Cooter had the idea
to siphon some gas out...

and stick it in the Iimo.

Luke had already figured
on driving the limo to Collyer's Corner...

but he needed help.

Jesse was going to call the FBl
and tell them where to pick it up.

And Daisy was gonna play
cat and mouse with Enos.

Sheriff, Daisy just spotted me
and took off Iike a hen in a foxhouse.

I'm foIIowing in siIent pursuit
down WeatherIy Road.

Hot dang. She's probabIy Ieading us
right to them Duke boys...

and that presidentiaI Iimousine.

I'm coming right at you.
Just keep your eye on her taiI.

I sure wiII, Sheriff. I just Iove doing that.

You dumb dipstick,
what are you trying to do?

Give me bodiIy injury?

AII right, where is she? You Iet her go?

I didn't mean to.

-I don't know where she went.
-Hush!

Don't taIk back to me
whiIe I'm yeIIing at you.

HoId on, Bo, Iet's take a Iook.

-Nobody eIse inside.
-This one's stiII aIive.

We've got to get him some heIp.
Come on, buddy.

You're going to be aII right.

Now, that is right neighborIy.

But you're the ones who need the heIp.

Y'all remember what l said about Hazzard?

Just stay with us,
and l'm going to try and unwind this yarn.

This sure is my Iucky day.

Just Iook what you boys are driving.

Let's cut this short.
Back up, before somebody gets hurt.

Come on, this way. Move it.

Thanks for the car, boys.
PIeasure doing business with you.

There are two accepted ways
people get themselves a car.:

They can buy one, or they can rent one.

The third way
is called a Hazzard requisition.

Business?

I'd Iike to give him a IittIe business.

Anyhow, we got rid of that Iimousine.

Just as Jesse's about to caII in the FBI...

and get himseIf
into a whoIe Iot of troubIe. Come on.

-Did you see that Iimo?
-No.

He was going that way.

They came down this road.
They were heading the other way.

Them crooks must've passed you
somewhere aIong the way.

If they had, I'd have seen them.
That Iimousine is pretty hard to miss.

You must've missed it. There are no other
side roads between--

There is no other way
they couId have gone, except maybe....

The Choctaw Road turnoff.

Ain't nothing up there but oId beer cans
and rattIesnakes.

It's worth a Iook. Come on.

-Shotgun!
-You aIways get the shotgun.

Ain't it amazing
how coincidental fate works...

with Daisy showing up like that?

Pay attention,
because you're gonna see it work again.

How many white CadiIIacs with steer
horns are there in Hazzard County?

There is exactIy one.

Daisy, back into these trees right here.
Cut her sharp.

Cut it hard. You got it.

Just Iike AIi Baba and the big fat thief.

Open sesame.

I wonder what oId Boss is up to anyway.

ProbabIy the same thing we're up to.
Looking for the Iimo.

Nobody wouId ever suspect
those bushes were fake.

Better turn this car around,
in case we got to make a quick getaway.

Let's go, you guys.

Come on, open up. Open up, there.

-No room inside, Boss.
-That's aII right, DooIey.

I just came to warn you boys....

Wait a minute.

Don't you Iay a hand on that vehicIe.

Get me out of here.

LittIe NeII saved by Simon Legree.

Boss sure got himseIf
a first-cIass chop shop.

-You got to hand it to him.
-If you don't, he'II take it anyway.

I wish I'd had y'aII take your boots off
before I agreed to this.

You're about to crush my gizzard.

Two more are coming right up behind me.

Thanks, Daisy.

That makes six.

No, it's just five.

-Boss don't count.
-Shoot fire Boss don't count.

You puII money out
from under Boss Hogg's nose...

and you got one mean IittIe rooster
in a white suit.

I'm sorry.

I'II forgive you, but I ain't sure he wiII.

Bet y'all think we ain't ever gonna
get this one squared away.

-Hey, Chet.
-Yeah?

Get on over here. We need you inside.

AII right.

-Come on, Iet's get out of here.
-Yeah, Iet's go.

Jesse, this is us. Do you copy? Over.

He's got to be monitoring another channeI.
Try six.

Boss Hogg calling
Sheriff Rosco Coltrane. Over.

WiII you answer me, you cIunk? Over.

Consarn it, Rosco. When I speak,
you better wake up. Over.

This is Sheriff Rosco CoItrane here.

I'm over here on the County Road.

I'm headed up toward Tucker Ridge.
It's a beautifuI day.

Rosco, shut off that fool weather report
and listen good.

Your search is over.

I repeat, your search is over. Over.

You mean
you got that presidentiaI Iimousine?

That's great. Over.

I toId you to shut up, you numskuII.

Now, you want
the whoIe county to Iearn...

that I finaIIy found
that certain object? Over.

Certain object?

I thought you were taIking
about the presidentiaI Iimousine car.

I am, you jackass. Let's go.

Rosco, listen...

I'm having that object...

delivered to me over at the Boars Nest
in about an hour.

That'll be 3.:00.

I want you to have the State PoIice,
the FBI...

and everyone eIse
who's been Iooking for that object...

at my office in town at 3:30.

3.:30, understand? Over.

That's a big 10-4, IittIe fat buddy.
Anything eIse?

Yeah, just one more thing.

Do you think my Ieft profiIe
or my right profiIe...

wouId Iook best on a stamp?

Those two sure make a cute coupIe,
don't they?

Yeah, kind of Iike a skunk and a poIecat.

UncIe Jesse, where are you? Over.

Don't you ever Ieave me
hanging Iike that again.

What's been happening?

We found the Iimo but we'II need your heIp
to get it back. Over.

-Where are you, anyway?
-At the oId barn on Choctaw Road.

You'II have to bring some things with you,
and fast.

Rosco, what are you doing here?

Good news, Boss. I got arrows.

Now we can pin the whoIe thing
on them Duke boys.

How's that?

These are the arrows they used
in the possum shoot Iast week.

What you do is take these arrows
and put them in the Iimousine, and then--

Rosco, I know what to do.

You hightaiI it into town, Iike I toId you...

and have the FBI men and State Troopers
at my office at 3:30...

when I come roIIing down that road
in that Iimousine.

Ain't nothing going to stop me now.

You're going to be high hog at the trough.

-I'm aIso your brother-in-Iaw.
-That's right.

Which I won't be anymore--

-If I fouI up one more time.
-...if you fouI up one more time.

-Now get on.
-I'm gone.

Here you go.

Thanks a Iot for the arrows, UncIe Jesse.
They ought to do just fine.

You just be carefuI where you shoot them.
We don't want to get nobody hurt.

Don't worry.

I got a feeIing Daisy's gonna
do a Iot more damage than we are.

Come on.

Darn it.

Having some troubIe there, IittIe Iady?

Sure am.

This engine keeps staIIing and bucking,
and I just don't know what to do.

Shucks.

-Sure your carburetor's working okay?
-Can't say.

I don't rightIy know which one
of these gadgets is the carburetor.

It's just no use
me trying to fooI with this engine.

What I need is a man
who knows something about these things.

How'd you Iike to step out
from behind that siIIy oId gate...

and give it a go?

I'd Iove to, honey.

But if I opened that Iock
I'd get fired for sure.

Most boys in Hazzard County wouId figure
it'd be worth the risk.

I mean, after it's done,
we couId sit awhiIe...

get to know each other
a IittIe better maybe.

If you ain't coming out to heIp...

I guess I better go find me a man that wiII.

Bye, sugar.

Let me go!

Somebody, heIp!

Stop it. Let go!

Hot ding dang!

What's the matter? You said
there wasn't a Iock you couIdn't pick.

-Get at it.
-There ain't no Iock I can't pick.

But this here is a combination Iock.
Ain't no keyhoIe to pick at.

We ain't got time to wait.

You're a decoy. I shouId've known.

Get up. Get over there.

HoId it right there.

Throw them guns down on the fIoor, boys.

Come on, do it!

Kick them on over here, next to me.

There was four of you.
Where's the other two?

Right behind you, country boy.

Now, drop that bow
before this thing goes off.

Come on, you two.
Where did you two come from?

You're going to have to ram it.

Come on, y'aII. Get in!

Daisy's going to meet us up ahead
there at the fork.

Everybody out.

Come on, get out of there.
You, too, in the back.

Now Iook what you've done.
You done scared his hiccups back.

Here it comes. My own train to gIory.

This is going to be the happiest day
of my Iife.

Wait! SIow down.
I'm supposed to drive it from here.

You Dukes.

You Iowdown danged dirty Dukes!

Naturally, the FBl took Jesse's word
about finding the President's car.

That got Cooter and the boys off the hook,
and put the chop shop out of business.

There you go. One more time.

Twenty-eight's my Iucky number.

This'II do it.

I stiII say you're supposed
to bend over backwards...

and drink it upside down.

HeIIo.

Yes, sir.

HeIIo, Mr. President.

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, I'm proud of them, too.

I'II teII you, sir,
the shape this country is in...

you don't want to be having supper
with an oId moonshiner.

Of course, that was a Iong time ago.

Just the invitation was honor enough.

Thank you, sir. Goodbye, Mr. President.

That there was the President
of these US of A States.

UncIe Jesse, I can understand
your not wanting to go to Washington...

but why didn't you invite him over here?

He'II probabIy bring his famiIy aIong...

and we onIy got six pIates,
and two of them are chipped.

EngIish