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1
00:00:05,934 --> 00:00:08,934
Thanks again
for the ride home
from school.
2
00:00:08,934 --> 00:00:09,934
No problem.
3
00:00:09,934 --> 00:00:11,501
Well, see ya.
4
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:13,367
Listen, when your car
isn't running,
5
00:00:13,367 --> 00:00:14,767
It's usually
the starter.
6
00:00:14,767 --> 00:00:16,868
I could fix it
in five minutes.
7
00:00:16,868 --> 00:00:20,100
Nah. If you did,
my dad wouldn't
have a hobby.
8
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:23,234
You want me
to pick you up
again tomorrow?
9
00:00:23,234 --> 00:00:25,968
Tomorrow's saturday.
There's no school.
10
00:00:25,968 --> 00:00:29,467
I know.
You want to see
a movie or something?
11
00:00:29,467 --> 00:00:30,934
Mark.
12
00:00:30,934 --> 00:00:32,801
It doesn't have to
be anything good.
13
00:00:32,801 --> 00:00:35,100
It could be
something you like.
14
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:38,734
I don't want
to date right now.
15
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,934
It's been weeks,
Becky.
16
00:00:40,934 --> 00:00:43,167
I just like
that we're talking.
17
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:47,734
Yeah, well,
I don't have
a lot more to say.
18
00:00:47,734 --> 00:00:49,467
I want to make sure
19
00:00:49,467 --> 00:00:51,501
That if we get
back together,
20
00:00:51,501 --> 00:00:53,167
Things will
be different.
21
00:00:53,167 --> 00:00:55,734
"If"? We may never
get back together?
22
00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:57,734
I don't know, Mark.
23
00:00:57,734 --> 00:01:00,734
I Miss you, Becky.
24
00:01:00,734 --> 00:01:02,934
I know, I know.
25
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:09,934
O.k.,
it's time to go.
26
00:01:09,934 --> 00:01:11,434
Becky, come on.
27
00:01:11,434 --> 00:01:13,067
I said no, Mark.
28
00:01:13,067 --> 00:01:14,434
Bye.
29
00:01:15,934 --> 00:01:16,934
Yeah. Bye.
30
00:01:18,901 --> 00:01:20,934
We're supposed
to go out tonight.
31
00:01:20,934 --> 00:01:22,868
You've known about it
for a week
32
00:01:22,868 --> 00:01:25,968
And you still haven't
found a babysitter yet?
33
00:01:25,968 --> 00:01:27,968
Well, there's got to be
34
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:30,467
Some responsible
teenage girls out there.
35
00:01:30,467 --> 00:01:32,968
Let me ask
Becky or Darlene.
36
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,033
Maybe they know somebody.
37
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:38,467
O.k.,
I'll call back later.
38
00:01:38,467 --> 00:01:39,801
Bye.
39
00:01:39,801 --> 00:01:41,801
Can't find anybody
she trusts, huh?
40
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:44,467
She might
have to end up
leaving them kids
41
00:01:44,467 --> 00:01:45,968
With her husband.
42
00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:47,501
Give me that.
43
00:01:47,501 --> 00:01:48,968
That's it.
You're done.
44
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:52,033
But I want to get out
of the dungeon.
45
00:01:52,033 --> 00:01:53,968
Don't we all?
46
00:01:53,968 --> 00:01:55,200
Mom.
47
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:56,968
You're not spending
the rest of your life
48
00:01:56,968 --> 00:01:58,567
Playing video games.
49
00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:00,467
There's nothing
else to do.
50
00:02:00,467 --> 00:02:01,934
Oh, sure, there is.
51
00:02:01,934 --> 00:02:03,934
When your mom and I
were your age,
52
00:02:03,934 --> 00:02:06,868
Kids used to ride
their bikes all over
53
00:02:06,868 --> 00:02:08,367
And build tree forts
54
00:02:08,367 --> 00:02:11,267
And dress up dogs
in funny clothes,
55
00:02:11,267 --> 00:02:13,067
All kinds of stuff.
56
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:16,434
Fine. I'll go outside
if I have to.
57
00:02:18,434 --> 00:02:20,868
Dress up dogs?
58
00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:21,934
Yeah.
59
00:02:21,934 --> 00:02:24,300
Little white dog
with the black eye.
60
00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:25,601
That wasn't us.
61
00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:28,567
That was
the little rascals.
62
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,934
Oh, yeah.
63
00:02:36,467 --> 00:02:37,968
Well, I just remembered.
64
00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:40,033
I got to
make sandwiches
65
00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:42,200
For Dan's stupid
poker game.
66
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,968
Why are you doing it?
67
00:02:43,968 --> 00:02:46,634
I was going
to clean out
the fridge anyway.
68
00:02:46,634 --> 00:02:48,534
This way I save
on trash bags.
69
00:02:49,968 --> 00:02:50,968
Hey.
70
00:02:50,968 --> 00:02:52,501
Hey.
71
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:53,501
What's wrong?
72
00:02:53,501 --> 00:02:56,467
Mark drove me home
from school.
73
00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,033
But you're sad,
though,
74
00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,767
So everything's
good, right?
75
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,834
Will you cut it out?
76
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:05,501
How does that
make you feel, Becky?
77
00:03:05,501 --> 00:03:06,767
I don't know.
78
00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:08,601
Sometimes when
he looks at me, I...
79
00:03:08,601 --> 00:03:09,934
Still getting chills?
80
00:03:09,934 --> 00:03:10,934
Yeah.
81
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:11,934
Yuck.
82
00:03:11,934 --> 00:03:12,934
Roseanne.
83
00:03:12,934 --> 00:03:14,434
I thought
you told him
84
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:15,801
To date other girls.
85
00:03:15,801 --> 00:03:17,300
But he's not.
86
00:03:17,300 --> 00:03:20,501
Well, if he can't do that
one simple little thing,
87
00:03:20,501 --> 00:03:23,934
I guess he doesn't care
about you at all.
88
00:04:41,968 --> 00:04:44,901
And here's a picture
of little angela at 3 weeks
89
00:04:44,901 --> 00:04:46,968
With her
auntie Roseanne
holding her.
90
00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:48,400
She's so beautiful.
91
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:51,901
Aw, look
how cute I am.
92
00:04:51,901 --> 00:04:53,901
Well, Crystal,
how does it feel
93
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:55,968
Having two babies
at home now?
94
00:04:55,968 --> 00:04:57,901
Since I've been
breast-feeding angela,
95
00:04:57,901 --> 00:05:00,000
I've been
kind of worried
about little Ed.
96
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,734
He seems real jealous.
97
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:04,100
Why? He's old enough
to be weaned.
98
00:05:04,100 --> 00:05:06,667
I want him to grow up
feeling secure and loved.
99
00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:08,067
Get over it.
100
00:05:08,067 --> 00:05:11,701
You'll go to one
of his school plays
or something.
101
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:12,834
Hey, Rosie.
102
00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:13,834
Hey, calvin.
103
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:16,367
Who's that?
104
00:05:16,367 --> 00:05:17,868
Customer
from the shop.
105
00:05:17,868 --> 00:05:19,367
Wait a minute.
106
00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:21,734
Calvin, how's
your bike running?
107
00:05:21,734 --> 00:05:23,267
Good.
108
00:05:23,267 --> 00:05:25,701
Just turned into
a business meeting.
109
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,734
I can write
the whole thing off.
110
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:30,601
Are you picking up
the check?
111
00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:33,033
Just the stub.
112
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,000
Hey, everybody,
sorry I'm late.
113
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,200
Where you been?
114
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,601
I just got
some bad news.
115
00:05:38,601 --> 00:05:39,934
What's wrong?
116
00:05:39,934 --> 00:05:42,334
Never mind.
Don't want to ruin
everybody's fun.
117
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:45,300
You already have,
so just spill it.
118
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:47,334
Chuckie lost his job.
119
00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:48,567
Oh!
Oh, no.
120
00:05:48,567 --> 00:05:50,934
Man, I thought
he had seniority.
121
00:05:50,934 --> 00:05:53,901
He did. They didn't
lay him off last week
122
00:05:53,901 --> 00:05:55,968
With the rest
of his shift.
123
00:05:55,968 --> 00:05:57,501
I don't believe it.
124
00:05:57,501 --> 00:05:58,834
It's all over.
125
00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:00,434
Wellman plastics
is history.
126
00:06:00,434 --> 00:06:02,400
Well, he'll find
another job.
127
00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:04,901
Yeah. Now that
wellman's is closed,
128
00:06:04,901 --> 00:06:06,834
There'll be
plenty of jobs--
129
00:06:06,834 --> 00:06:08,934
Bill collectors,
repo men.
130
00:06:08,934 --> 00:06:11,400
I'm really sorry,
emory.
131
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:13,501
Hey, it's happening
all over.
132
00:06:13,501 --> 00:06:15,334
Bonnie's losing her job,
you're losing yours,
133
00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:17,334
Nobody in this town
can afford
134
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,601
To buy a bike
from your husband.
135
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,834
You're just
the messenger of death,
136
00:06:21,834 --> 00:06:24,100
Ain't you?
137
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,300
Sorry.
138
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:27,834
Let's go.
If we get depressed,
139
00:06:27,834 --> 00:06:29,934
We'll just
drink ourselves stupid.
140
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:32,367
All right.
Let's settle up.
141
00:06:32,367 --> 00:06:34,367
Everybody
chip in 6 bucks,
142
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,767
Except for emory.
143
00:06:36,767 --> 00:06:37,934
6 Bucks?
144
00:06:37,934 --> 00:06:41,467
I'm going to try
to get the price
down here.
145
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:46,334
Hey, willie,
all our beers
had flies in them.
146
00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:50,133
We were out of
little umbrellas,
Roseanne.
147
00:06:50,133 --> 00:06:52,934
Works in your
nicer places.
148
00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:55,367
I hate it when
you're short on cash.
149
00:06:55,367 --> 00:06:58,367
You always try and cheap
out of the tab.
150
00:06:58,367 --> 00:07:02,200
We all do what we have to
to get by.
151
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,834
Once I called
the instant potato company
152
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:07,901
And said I found
a human hand in the box.
153
00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:10,901
The scary thing was,
they didn't sound surprised.
154
00:07:10,901 --> 00:07:12,400
Well, don't worry.
155
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,400
We're all
going to make it.
156
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:17,501
We'll have to learn
to stretch those dollars.
157
00:07:17,501 --> 00:07:18,934
It can be done.
158
00:07:18,934 --> 00:07:21,334
I was watching this
national geographic special
159
00:07:21,334 --> 00:07:22,767
On desert people.
160
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:25,934
Bedouins can live
for three days on one fig.
161
00:07:25,934 --> 00:07:27,901
That don't
do me no good.
162
00:07:27,901 --> 00:07:30,334
My family can't
live for three days
163
00:07:30,334 --> 00:07:31,868
On one bedouin.
164
00:07:38,167 --> 00:07:39,634
I'm telling you guys
it really happened.
165
00:07:39,634 --> 00:07:40,734
Come on, Arnie.
166
00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:43,367
I swear. Last night,
I was visited by an alien.
167
00:07:43,367 --> 00:07:44,868
Your bet, Chuckie.
168
00:07:44,868 --> 00:07:46,567
Half a buck.
169
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:47,801
I'm in.
170
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:51,267
I Woke up next
to this horrible,
bug-eyed creature.
171
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:54,267
I thought it was
Nancy at first, too.
172
00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:57,267
But does Nancy stick
needles into my body
173
00:07:57,267 --> 00:07:58,701
Probing me
for information?
174
00:07:58,701 --> 00:08:01,667
Well, you've only been
married a few months.
175
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,267
I'll play.
176
00:08:03,267 --> 00:08:04,868
The thing
talked to me.
177
00:08:04,868 --> 00:08:07,801
It said it's here
to find out
about humans.
178
00:08:07,801 --> 00:08:10,801
A thousand million
light years across the galaxy
179
00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:13,367
And it missed by one house.
180
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,100
I'll call, Chuckie.
What do you got?
181
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,667
Oh, man.
This is embarrassing.
182
00:08:17,667 --> 00:08:19,167
I was just bluffing.
183
00:08:19,167 --> 00:08:21,501
I Only got
a pair of fives.
184
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,934
Me, too.
Beats me.
185
00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,200
Didn't see it coming.
186
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,267
All right!
187
00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:28,300
You guys stink.
188
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,868
Hey, hold on.
189
00:08:29,868 --> 00:08:31,367
Read 'em and weep--
190
00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:34,200
Eights. Two of 'em.
191
00:08:34,200 --> 00:08:35,601
Damn!
192
00:08:35,601 --> 00:08:39,467
Hey, Chuckie,
wasn't it your turn
to bring some beer?
193
00:08:39,467 --> 00:08:42,367
Oh, yeah.
It's out in the car.
194
00:08:42,367 --> 00:08:43,868
Take a hike.
195
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,300
Let's buy the beer.
He just got laid off.
196
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,834
That's why we just
lost to him, genius.
197
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:53,334
I had three jacks.
198
00:08:53,334 --> 00:08:54,834
I had a straight.
199
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:56,334
Why didn't you tell me?
200
00:08:56,334 --> 00:08:57,734
We did, Arnie.
201
00:08:57,734 --> 00:09:01,234
Oh, my god, the aliens
have messed up my mind.
202
00:09:01,234 --> 00:09:04,167
So last night
wasn't their first visit?
203
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:07,667
All right,
brewskis.
204
00:09:07,667 --> 00:09:09,067
All right.
205
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,634
Your deal, Chuckie.
206
00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:13,601
Let's see if I can
win some money back.
207
00:09:13,601 --> 00:09:16,167
I'll bet five bucks
he can. Ow!
208
00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:17,901
Sorry.
Was that your foot?
209
00:09:17,901 --> 00:09:19,400
[Telephone rings]
210
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,901
Deal me out.
211
00:09:20,901 --> 00:09:23,133
He answers the phone?
Not fair.
212
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:25,634
Hey, calvin, what's doing?
213
00:09:25,634 --> 00:09:28,634
Oh, man, how the hell
did that happen?
214
00:09:28,634 --> 00:09:31,701
Do me a favor--
sit on him.
215
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,133
I'll be right there.
216
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:35,934
Mark got himself drunk
down at the lobo.
217
00:09:35,934 --> 00:09:37,434
Is he old enough--
218
00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:41,434
No. I better get
down there before
he gets in trouble.
219
00:09:41,434 --> 00:09:42,934
I'll go.
Want me to--
220
00:09:42,934 --> 00:09:45,667
And leave me here alone
with mr. Lucky?
221
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:48,167
Stay and have fun.
I'll be right back.
222
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,200
Don't tell Becky
or Darlene where I went.
223
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,501
O.k. Ray, your bet.
224
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,667
Pass.
225
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:57,467
Same here.
226
00:09:57,467 --> 00:10:01,267
A quarter. And remember
where you got it.
227
00:10:18,033 --> 00:10:19,033
What happened?
228
00:10:19,033 --> 00:10:20,534
After I called you,
229
00:10:20,534 --> 00:10:23,467
The kid put his fist
through the jukebox.
230
00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:26,367
I talked willie out
of calling the cops.
231
00:10:26,367 --> 00:10:27,868
Thanks, man. Hey!
232
00:10:27,868 --> 00:10:29,133
Hey, Dan.
233
00:10:29,133 --> 00:10:30,534
What's wrong with you?
234
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:33,133
Nothing.
I Hurt my hand is all.
235
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:36,100
Whoa. It's going to need
a couple stitches.
236
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:37,734
Let's go.
237
00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:39,267
What about
my jukebox?
238
00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:42,067
Willie, you'll just
have to find another place
239
00:10:42,067 --> 00:10:44,634
To store your
jim nabors records.
240
00:10:46,734 --> 00:10:48,868
That's
very funny, Dan.
241
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:51,868
He'll pay for it.
He works for me.
242
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,801
Hey! I don't want
you in here ever
again.
243
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,734
You understand me?
244
00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:58,501
Huh?
245
00:10:58,501 --> 00:11:01,000
I'll explain it
to him later.
246
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,434
Let's get someone
to look at that hand.
247
00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:04,934
Listen,
don't tell Becky.
248
00:11:04,934 --> 00:11:06,300
Easy.
249
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,667
'Cause she'll kill me
250
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,234
And never want
to see me again.
251
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,667
I won't tell her.
252
00:11:11,667 --> 00:11:13,167
Calvin, thanks
for your help.
253
00:11:13,167 --> 00:11:14,667
Yeah.
No problem.
254
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:17,234
I got you. I got you.
255
00:11:17,234 --> 00:11:18,868
You're o.k., Dan.
256
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:21,067
You're my man.
257
00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:23,467
My man Dan.
Dan the man.
258
00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:25,501
Dan, Dan, the Dan man.
259
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:28,501
O.k., now you do one
with my name.
260
00:11:28,501 --> 00:11:29,868
O.k., how about this?
261
00:11:29,868 --> 00:11:33,000
Mark, Mark,
you puke in my truck
262
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,434
And I'll kill you.
263
00:11:44,534 --> 00:11:47,667
Hey, how's it going?
264
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,200
We let Chuckie win 20
265
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,667
So he wasn't playing
with his own money.
266
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:53,267
Then we played for real.
267
00:11:53,267 --> 00:11:56,267
He gave it all back
in 1 1/2 minutes.
268
00:11:56,267 --> 00:11:57,834
Oh, man. Where is he?
269
00:11:57,834 --> 00:11:59,300
He's in the john.
270
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,167
Do we let him
win again?
271
00:12:01,167 --> 00:12:02,801
This is getting
ridiculous.
272
00:12:02,801 --> 00:12:05,367
I've been laid off.
Nobody let me win.
273
00:12:05,367 --> 00:12:08,801
It's enough
we let you sit at
the grownup table.
274
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:10,801
How'd it go
with Mark?
275
00:12:10,801 --> 00:12:14,234
By the time I got there,
he'd punched the jukebox.
276
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,234
Any stitches?
277
00:12:15,234 --> 00:12:16,234
Two or three.
278
00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:19,234
Once I got hit
with a beer bottle.
279
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:21,033
Nearly lost an eye.
280
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,701
Took 12 stitches.
281
00:12:22,701 --> 00:12:25,601
It's underneath the eyebrow.
You can't hardly see it.
282
00:12:25,601 --> 00:12:28,667
Art's new. Maybe
he wants to hear it.
283
00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:32,567
I'm sure art knows you've
been hit in the head.
284
00:12:32,567 --> 00:12:36,467
But did you know it was
with a beer bottle?
285
00:12:36,467 --> 00:12:37,868
So where's Mark now?
286
00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:40,968
Oh, I left him
at his apartment
287
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:43,400
Drooling and mumbling
my daughter's name.
288
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,434
Sounds like son-in-law
material to me.
289
00:12:46,434 --> 00:12:48,000
We all been there.
290
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,601
Becky's been giving him
a real rough time.
291
00:12:50,601 --> 00:12:53,167
I feel bad for the kid.
292
00:12:53,167 --> 00:12:55,133
Where's the pizza?
293
00:12:55,133 --> 00:12:57,601
What pizza?
294
00:12:57,601 --> 00:12:59,100
We came looking for you,
295
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,601
And Arnie said
you went out for pizza.
296
00:13:01,601 --> 00:13:04,667
No, I said
I was going to the shop.
297
00:13:04,667 --> 00:13:06,400
Sounded like pizza.
298
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,267
You went to the shop?
299
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,501
Yes.
300
00:13:11,501 --> 00:13:14,501
In the middle of your
male bonding frenzy?
301
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:17,467
Is everything o.k.?
302
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,968
Yeah, yeah.
The alarm company
called.
303
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:22,834
The alarm went off
at the shop.
304
00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,000
What happened?
305
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,501
Oh, nothing.
Just a short
in the wiring.
306
00:13:26,501 --> 00:13:28,000
Hey, pizza
sounds great.
307
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
You guys
up for pizza?
308
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,501
Go on back upstairs,
309
00:13:31,501 --> 00:13:34,367
And I'll call you
when it gets here.
310
00:13:34,367 --> 00:13:36,501
Right.
By the time he calls,
311
00:13:36,501 --> 00:13:40,400
All that'll be left
is what's stuck
to their shirts.
312
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,400
Lying to the kids?
Mmm mmm mmm mmm.
313
00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:44,901
Hey, I promised Mark.
314
00:13:44,901 --> 00:13:47,400
And nobody says anything
to Roseanne, either.
315
00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,901
Ooh, now he lies
to his wife.
316
00:13:49,901 --> 00:13:51,267
Where will this end?
317
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:54,000
You got to lie
to your wife once in a while.
318
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:57,567
Like when they try out
new recipes you hate it.
319
00:13:57,567 --> 00:14:00,601
I Always tell
my wife I got a cold
320
00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:02,601
And can't
taste a thing.
321
00:14:02,601 --> 00:14:06,534
Hey, that's way better
than hocking it up
into a napkin.
322
00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:10,501
Dan's right. You got
to lie occasionally.
323
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:13,300
If just once I'd said,
"honey, I don't mind
324
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:15,934
You're sleeping
with my business partner,"
325
00:14:15,934 --> 00:14:17,534
I'd still be married.
326
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:20,100
Ooh.
Oh, man.
Bummer.
327
00:14:21,834 --> 00:14:23,267
They lie to us, too.
328
00:14:23,267 --> 00:14:24,834
Roseanne
smashed up my truck
329
00:14:24,834 --> 00:14:27,734
And swore it happened
while parked at the mall.
330
00:14:27,734 --> 00:14:30,267
Did you call her on it?
331
00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:32,767
You kidding me?
And waste all that guilt?
332
00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:35,334
When I mention
how good my truck looked,
333
00:14:35,334 --> 00:14:37,534
I Get chocolate cake
for dessert.
334
00:14:37,534 --> 00:14:40,667
If I squeeze out
a couple of tears,
335
00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,167
Cool whip.
336
00:14:53,234 --> 00:14:55,734
Hey, Dan, you say
the fire department
checked
337
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:57,734
But didn't find
anything, right?
338
00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,734
It was a false alarm.
339
00:14:59,734 --> 00:15:02,734
Did they check
the wires in the walls?
340
00:15:02,734 --> 00:15:04,167
Everything.
341
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,601
How do they know
it's the fire alarm?
342
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,567
The burglar alarm
sounds the same.
343
00:15:08,567 --> 00:15:10,000
Roseanne...
344
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:13,000
The fire department
wouldn't know if
anything was stolen.
345
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,934
They wouldn't
notice a burglar
346
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,934
Unless the guy
was on fire.
347
00:15:16,934 --> 00:15:18,367
I Checked.
348
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:20,968
Nothing's missing.
No flaming burglars.
349
00:15:20,968 --> 00:15:23,734
What about the safe?
350
00:15:23,734 --> 00:15:25,701
It's all there--
351
00:15:25,701 --> 00:15:28,100
Your grandmother's ring,
your good watch,
352
00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,100
The earrings you never wear
353
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:34,100
Because I never take you
anyplace nice enough.
All there.
354
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,801
What about
the gold card?
355
00:15:36,801 --> 00:15:38,601
What gold card?
356
00:15:38,601 --> 00:15:40,267
I knew it.
357
00:15:40,267 --> 00:15:42,367
They stole
the gold card!
358
00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:44,767
We don't have a gold card.
359
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:46,000
Not now.
360
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
What are you talking about?
361
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,033
I got a gold card
in the mail.
362
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:53,033
It has
a $5,000 limit.
363
00:15:53,033 --> 00:15:56,534
What fish-brained company
gave us a gold card?
364
00:15:56,534 --> 00:15:59,467
Well, they asked for
your annual income
365
00:15:59,467 --> 00:16:01,534
And your social
security number.
366
00:16:01,534 --> 00:16:03,300
Maybe I switched them.
367
00:16:04,667 --> 00:16:07,300
Oh, man.
I just didn't see it.
368
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,100
It's flat.
It could've been
up against the wall.
369
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:12,667
It was in a great big
white envelope.
370
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:15,100
Well, I'll look for it
in the morning.
371
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,667
How can we sleep
372
00:16:16,667 --> 00:16:19,767
If somebody's
charging us
into the poorhouse?
373
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:22,167
They can't buy anything.
It's 2 a.m.
374
00:16:22,167 --> 00:16:23,367
Everything's closed.
375
00:16:23,367 --> 00:16:26,367
Yeah, here.
But the burglar
could charge tickets
376
00:16:26,367 --> 00:16:29,434
And fly to where
something is open.
377
00:16:29,434 --> 00:16:32,434
In some parts
of the world,
it's yesterday.
378
00:16:32,434 --> 00:16:35,367
We could be broke
before it's now.
379
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:38,868
How many beers
did you have
down at the lobo?
380
00:16:38,868 --> 00:16:40,868
Go check on that card.
381
00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:42,267
Honey...
382
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:45,701
I won't sleep
till you get it.
Neither will you.
383
00:16:45,701 --> 00:16:47,200
O.k., o.k.!
384
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,634
I'll go down to the shop,
find the card,
385
00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,133
And bring it back
so you can sleep. O.k.?
386
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:55,834
Thank you, honey.
387
00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:03,400
Lie to me, will you?
388
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,434
[Softly] hey.
389
00:17:18,434 --> 00:17:20,801
[Loudly] hey, Mark.
How's it going?
390
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:22,300
[Rrrrrrrrrrr]
391
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:23,968
Please stop, will you?
392
00:17:26,501 --> 00:17:27,934
How's your hand?
393
00:17:27,934 --> 00:17:29,501
Hurts like hell, man.
394
00:17:29,501 --> 00:17:33,467
Let's see if we can
keep it wet and dirty.
395
00:17:33,467 --> 00:17:36,501
Maybe we can
get it infected.
396
00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:40,000
You didn't tell Becky
about anything, did you?
397
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,434
No, I didn't.
398
00:17:41,434 --> 00:17:44,734
What about, you know,
the other one?
399
00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:48,667
I didn't tell my wife
for which I paid dearly,
400
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,567
Much as you will today.
401
00:17:50,567 --> 00:17:53,200
Thanks. I Owe you.
402
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,701
Yeah, you do.
403
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,200
I mean it.
404
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,767
I really do care
about Becky.
405
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:01,434
She's real good
for me, you know?
406
00:18:01,434 --> 00:18:04,000
If she found out
about last night,
407
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,534
She'd never see me again.
408
00:18:05,534 --> 00:18:08,033
You saved my butt.
You're a real friend.
409
00:18:08,033 --> 00:18:10,634
Let me correct
a few points.
410
00:18:10,634 --> 00:18:12,100
I am Becky's father,
411
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:14,667
By definition,
therefore,
not your friend.
412
00:18:14,667 --> 00:18:15,968
Secondly, I'm your boss,
413
00:18:15,968 --> 00:18:18,968
Which still makes me
not your friend.
414
00:18:18,968 --> 00:18:21,567
In my official capacity
as not your friend,
415
00:18:21,567 --> 00:18:22,901
Here's how it'll be--
416
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,267
I Ever catch you under
the influence again,
417
00:18:25,267 --> 00:18:27,701
Not only are you
finished with Becky,
418
00:18:27,701 --> 00:18:29,200
You're out of a job.
419
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:30,367
O.k.
420
00:18:30,367 --> 00:18:32,934
One more thing--I paid
for those stitches.
421
00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:34,367
I'll pay you back.
422
00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:37,367
Yes, but until then,
I own them.
423
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:40,901
I can rip them out
anytime I want.
424
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:46,767
[Rrrrrrrrrrr]
425
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:04,467
Hey.
426
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:05,634
Hey.
427
00:19:05,634 --> 00:19:08,133
You bring me
any ice cream?
428
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,534
No.
429
00:19:09,534 --> 00:19:11,200
Then go away.
430
00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:16,334
I got gum.
431
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:19,767
Becky's letting Mark
take her to the movies.
432
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,267
When did this happen?
433
00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:23,734
I don't know.
Does it even matter?
434
00:19:23,734 --> 00:19:27,200
You just know
they're going to get
back together,
435
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,267
And that
is just sickening.
436
00:19:29,267 --> 00:19:33,200
I can't believe
Dan would even
let him in the house
437
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:36,701
After catching him
down at the lobo like that.
438
00:19:36,701 --> 00:19:38,734
Excuse me?
439
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,501
Oh, man!
440
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:49,234
This is why Dan
is always ticked off at me.
441
00:19:51,334 --> 00:19:52,534
Spill it.
442
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:55,534
One of the drivers
I work with was there.
443
00:19:55,534 --> 00:19:57,033
He said Mark got drunk
444
00:19:57,033 --> 00:19:59,534
And put his hand
through the jukebox.
445
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:01,901
Dan had to smooth
everything over.
446
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,801
So that's
what's going on.
447
00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:07,300
I knew
I was busting Dan's
chops for something.
448
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:09,701
I just
didn't know what.
449
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,901
What are you talking about?
450
00:20:12,901 --> 00:20:15,200
It was such
an obvious lie.
451
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,701
I mean, that alarm
never went off.
452
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:18,968
How do you know?
453
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:21,701
Because I haven't paid
the alarm company
454
00:20:21,701 --> 00:20:23,200
For three months.
455
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,501
Just don't tell Dan
you heard it from me.
456
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:28,934
I won't even tell him
that I know.
457
00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:30,434
[Becky]
we're leaving, mom.
458
00:20:30,434 --> 00:20:31,801
Be home early.
459
00:20:31,801 --> 00:20:33,200
We'll see.
460
00:20:35,467 --> 00:20:37,968
You're just going
to let her go?
461
00:20:37,968 --> 00:20:39,467
What if
he's been drinking?
462
00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:40,968
You're going
to trust him?
463
00:20:40,968 --> 00:20:43,400
I don't trust him,
but I trust Dan.
464
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,968
He loves Becky, too.
465
00:20:44,968 --> 00:20:46,601
If he's
letting her go,
466
00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:48,601
He must have
some stupid reason.
467
00:20:48,601 --> 00:20:49,601
Hey.
468
00:20:49,601 --> 00:20:51,100
Hey.
469
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:53,534
Why, Jackie,
what a surprise!
470
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,334
How was work, sweetheart?
471
00:20:58,334 --> 00:20:59,567
Pretty good.
472
00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:00,801
Great.
473
00:21:04,901 --> 00:21:07,834
So you're totally
letting him off the hook
474
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,334
After lying to you?
475
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:12,734
Oh, Jackie,
I wish I could.
476
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,634
Oh, Dan?
477
00:21:17,634 --> 00:21:18,901
Yes?
478
00:21:18,901 --> 00:21:20,834
Becky and Mark
are dating again.
479
00:21:20,834 --> 00:21:22,934
What do you
think of that?
480
00:21:22,934 --> 00:21:25,367
Well, we've just
got to hope
481
00:21:25,367 --> 00:21:28,000
Mark will turn over
a new leaf.
482
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,868
How'd he hurt
his hand?
483
00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:33,534
He, uh, caught it
down at the shop
484
00:21:33,534 --> 00:21:35,167
On a machine.
485
00:21:36,667 --> 00:21:38,167
Is it bad?
486
00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,501
Couple stitches.
487
00:21:39,501 --> 00:21:42,434
Well, he could
sue us, Dan.
488
00:21:42,434 --> 00:21:43,834
He won't sue us.
489
00:21:43,834 --> 00:21:46,834
What if the thing
with Becky turns sour again
490
00:21:46,834 --> 00:21:49,133
And he decides
he hates us?
491
00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:51,000
We're insured.
492
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,434
Oh, really?
493
00:21:53,834 --> 00:21:55,968
Where's the policy?
494
00:22:02,467 --> 00:22:04,100
At the shop.
495
00:22:07,133 --> 00:22:08,701
Dan...
496
00:22:08,701 --> 00:22:10,801
I just got here.
I'm tired.
497
00:22:10,801 --> 00:22:14,133
I really, really, really
want to know, Dan.
498
00:22:15,534 --> 00:22:18,334
O.k. I'll go down
to the shop...
499
00:22:19,534 --> 00:22:21,834
In my beat-up truck.
500
00:22:27,501 --> 00:22:29,000
Oh, that reminds me.
501
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,434
I got to get
some cool whip.
502
00:22:42,267 --> 00:22:46,834
Darlene, mom
wants you to pick up
some cool whip.
503
00:22:46,834 --> 00:22:48,667
Why don't you do it?
504
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,567
I'm doing my homework.
505
00:22:50,567 --> 00:22:52,767
That's a lame excuse, Becky.
506
00:22:52,767 --> 00:22:55,367
Only from you, Darlene.
507
00:22:56,534 --> 00:22:59,100
She left some money
in her purse.
508
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:02,033
I don't believe
I have to get one thing
509
00:23:02,033 --> 00:23:05,133
Just because mom forgot it
when she went shopping.
510
00:23:05,133 --> 00:23:08,133
I'm so sick of running
these little crappy errands.
511
00:23:08,133 --> 00:23:13,067
Someday
I'll walk out that door
and never come back...
512
00:23:13,067 --> 00:23:14,534
And today's the day!
513
00:23:14,534 --> 00:23:17,534
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
514
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:23,300
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
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