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1
00:00:04,582 --> 00:00:05,181
Boing.
2
00:00:05,217 --> 00:00:06,017
Boing.
3
00:00:06,054 --> 00:00:06,755
Boing.
4
00:00:06,790 --> 00:00:08,860
Boing.
5
00:00:08,898 --> 00:00:09,364
Okay.
6
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:11,571
That's enough boingin'.
7
00:00:11,608 --> 00:00:14,914
Next on iCarly...
It's time to play everyone's favorite game:
8
00:00:14,953 --> 00:00:20,159
Happy baby, sad baby.
9
00:00:20,200 --> 00:00:20,967
Okay.
10
00:00:21,004 --> 00:00:24,004
We'll start with...
A teddy bear.
11
00:00:30,836 --> 00:00:33,741
Does a teddy bear make baby happy?
12
00:00:33,779 --> 00:00:35,882
Yeah. Yeah.
13
00:00:35,919 --> 00:00:41,092
Teddy bear makes-- yeah,
baby loves that Teddy bear.
14
00:00:41,132 --> 00:00:41,566
Okay.
15
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:47,210
Next, let's see how baby feels about...
This stick of dynamite.
16
00:00:47,252 --> 00:00:49,420
Does baby like the dynamite?
17
00:00:49,457 --> 00:00:53,194
No. No.
18
00:00:53,234 --> 00:00:55,737
That is dangerous.
19
00:00:55,774 --> 00:00:59,044
Dynamite make baby go boom.
20
00:00:59,083 --> 00:00:59,816
Aww.
21
00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:03,187
No.
22
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:08,300
Hmm, I wonder if baby likes salsa.
23
00:01:08,306 --> 00:01:12,477
Yeah. I like salsa.
24
00:01:12,518 --> 00:01:13,918
There you go.
25
00:01:13,954 --> 00:01:17,625
Yeah.
26
00:01:17,664 --> 00:01:22,170
Yummy.
27
00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:22,809
Oh.
28
00:01:22,844 --> 00:01:23,344
Okay.
29
00:01:23,379 --> 00:01:24,781
--Boy.
30
00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:25,851
Yeah.
31
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:27,821
Yummy.
32
00:01:27,858 --> 00:01:28,391
Oh.
33
00:01:28,426 --> 00:01:29,560
Tasty.
34
00:01:29,596 --> 00:01:32,431
Okay. That's enough.
35
00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:33,737
Too much salsa.
36
00:01:33,773 --> 00:01:34,372
Okay.
37
00:01:34,409 --> 00:01:37,046
Next, we want to introduce
you to the super cool chick.
38
00:01:37,083 --> 00:01:39,385
She's what's known as
a creative breaker.
39
00:01:39,422 --> 00:01:41,324
'Cause she creatively breaks stuff.
40
00:01:41,328 --> 00:01:44,966
So please welcome Tara.
41
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,373
[Music]
42
00:01:46,409 --> 00:01:47,744
Tara. All right. Yeah.
43
00:01:47,779 --> 00:01:48,345
Hey, good to see you.
44
00:01:48,380 --> 00:01:49,514
Good to see you.
45
00:01:49,550 --> 00:01:50,685
So, Tara, you want to
break something for us?
46
00:01:50,721 --> 00:01:52,489
Show us a little destruction?
47
00:01:52,524 --> 00:01:54,526
Sure. Music?
48
00:01:54,563 --> 00:01:55,430
Music.
49
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,065
[Music]
50
00:02:08,133 --> 00:02:08,966
Really nice work.
51
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:09,602
That was amazing.
52
00:02:09,636 --> 00:02:10,270
Impressive.
53
00:02:10,306 --> 00:02:12,441
Yeah.
54
00:02:12,478 --> 00:02:13,811
You want to break something else?
55
00:02:13,847 --> 00:02:16,215
Like Freddie's arm, Freddie's
leg, Freddie's face?
56
00:02:16,254 --> 00:02:19,421
Oh, Sam, if you're in love
with me, just say so.
57
00:02:19,460 --> 00:02:19,992
Nyeeeeehhh.
58
00:02:20,026 --> 00:02:21,360
Nyeeeeehhh.
59
00:02:21,397 --> 00:02:23,666
So what made you decide to learn
to creatively break things?
60
00:02:23,703 --> 00:02:26,139
I compete in pageants, and you know
how they have a talent portion?
61
00:02:26,176 --> 00:02:26,475
Yeah.
62
00:02:26,511 --> 00:02:27,010
Of course.
63
00:02:27,045 --> 00:02:29,547
Well, since I took karate when I
was a kid, I decided to use that
64
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:30,718
as my talent.
65
00:02:30,755 --> 00:02:31,454
Interesting.
66
00:02:31,489 --> 00:02:33,624
And isn't the big Ms. Teen Seattle Pageant
next week?
67
00:02:33,662 --> 00:02:35,330
Yeah, but I won't win that one.
68
00:02:35,365 --> 00:02:36,099
Why not?
69
00:02:36,134 --> 00:02:40,472
'Cause there's this girl, Leanne Carter,
who's won 99 pageants in a row,
70
00:02:40,512 --> 00:02:42,580
and there's no way I'm gonna beat her.
71
00:02:42,617 --> 00:02:45,419
Well, you got to try.
72
00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:46,123
Sam?
73
00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,160
I'll be back.
74
00:02:53,109 --> 00:02:57,713
Well, to fill the awkward moment Sam
just created, Tara, you want to feed
75
00:02:57,753 --> 00:02:59,087
baby Spencer some more salsa?
76
00:02:59,122 --> 00:03:00,422
Sure.
77
00:03:00,458 --> 00:03:01,558
No.
78
00:03:01,594 --> 00:03:02,794
Does baby want more salsa?
79
00:03:02,831 --> 00:03:04,498
No.
80
00:03:04,535 --> 00:03:05,168
No.
81
00:03:05,203 --> 00:03:06,103
Aww.
82
00:03:06,139 --> 00:03:07,905
There you go, baby.
83
00:03:07,942 --> 00:03:10,476
There you go.
84
00:03:10,513 --> 00:03:16,489
In 5, 4, 3, 2...
[music]
85
00:03:16,531 --> 00:03:18,832
♪ I know you see ♪
86
00:03:18,868 --> 00:03:19,501
♪ somehow the world ♪
87
00:03:19,537 --> 00:03:21,104
♪ will change for me ♪
88
00:03:21,141 --> 00:03:25,710
♪ and be so wonderful ♪
89
00:03:25,749 --> 00:03:28,016
♪ live life, breathe air ♪
90
00:03:28,053 --> 00:03:29,087
♪ I know somehow ♪
91
00:03:29,122 --> 00:03:30,155
♪ we're gonna get there ♪
92
00:03:30,191 --> 00:03:34,961
♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
93
00:03:35,002 --> 00:03:38,470
♪ it's all for real ♪
94
00:03:38,509 --> 00:03:39,342
♪ I'm telling you ♪
95
00:03:39,378 --> 00:03:40,878
♪ just how I feel ♪
96
00:03:40,915 --> 00:03:43,082
♪ so wake up the members ♪
97
00:03:43,119 --> 00:03:44,885
♪ of my nation ♪
98
00:03:44,921 --> 00:03:46,522
♪ it's your time to be ♪
99
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:47,359
♪ there's no chance ♪
100
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,427
♪ unless you take one ♪
101
00:03:49,464 --> 00:03:51,065
♪ and the time to see ♪
102
00:03:51,101 --> 00:03:51,967
♪ the brighter side ♪
103
00:03:52,002 --> 00:03:55,604
♪ of every situation ♪
104
00:03:55,643 --> 00:03:57,076
♪ some things are meant to be ♪
105
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,346
♪ so give your best ♪
106
00:03:58,381 --> 00:04:00,948
♪ and leave the rest to me ♪
107
00:04:00,986 --> 00:04:03,254
♪ leave it all to me ♪
108
00:04:03,291 --> 00:04:05,259
♪ leave it all to me ♪
109
00:04:05,296 --> 00:04:08,296
♪ just leave it all to me ♪
110
00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:19,789
Hello.
111
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:21,258
What?
112
00:04:21,293 --> 00:04:22,793
You bailed in the middle of the show.
113
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:23,996
What's your problem?
114
00:04:24,032 --> 00:04:27,834
What makes you think I got a problem?
115
00:04:27,872 --> 00:04:30,006
Well, there's a can
opener right there.
116
00:04:30,043 --> 00:04:35,847
And you're stabbing that can
of soup with a screwdriver.
117
00:04:35,888 --> 00:04:39,491
Come on, talk.
118
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:46,734
When I was little, I used to
compete in beauty pageants.
119
00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:49,512
Aah. Ow.
120
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,083
Are you okay?
121
00:04:50,119 --> 00:04:50,785
No.
122
00:04:50,819 --> 00:04:52,620
There's a lentil in my eye.
123
00:04:52,658 --> 00:04:53,191
Sam.
124
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:54,159
He snickered.
125
00:04:54,195 --> 00:04:56,062
You apologize.
126
00:04:56,099 --> 00:04:59,366
I'm sorry I blew a lentil in your eye.
127
00:04:59,405 --> 00:05:02,707
Oh, well, the apology makes it okay.
128
00:05:02,746 --> 00:05:03,645
Oh.
129
00:05:03,681 --> 00:05:05,481
You were really a beauty pageant girl?
130
00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:06,384
I didn't want to be.
131
00:05:06,419 --> 00:05:07,319
My mom forced me.
132
00:05:07,355 --> 00:05:10,757
You know that girl that Tara was
talking about, Leanne Carter?
133
00:05:10,794 --> 00:05:12,596
The chick who's won
99 pageants in a row?
134
00:05:12,633 --> 00:05:13,232
Yeah.
135
00:05:13,268 --> 00:05:13,934
What about her?
136
00:05:13,969 --> 00:05:15,703
She always beat me.
137
00:05:15,740 --> 00:05:18,207
I got second place in
19 stupid pageants.
138
00:05:18,245 --> 00:05:20,045
So you just finally quit competing?
139
00:05:20,082 --> 00:05:21,182
No.
140
00:05:21,218 --> 00:05:24,887
I got suspended from pageantry 'cause
Leanne fell down a flight of stairs.
141
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,192
People thought I pushed her.
142
00:05:27,230 --> 00:05:29,831
And now she's gonna be the first girl
in history to win a hundred pageants
143
00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:33,137
in a row.
144
00:05:33,176 --> 00:05:34,776
[Music]
145
00:05:38,085 --> 00:05:38,784
You enter the pageant.
146
00:05:38,820 --> 00:05:39,719
What? No.
147
00:05:39,755 --> 00:05:40,454
Yes.
148
00:05:40,490 --> 00:05:43,858
You're insane and you're
squeezing my shoulders.
149
00:05:43,896 --> 00:05:44,461
Please?
150
00:05:44,497 --> 00:05:47,497
I'm not entering a beauty pageant.
151
00:05:55,219 --> 00:05:57,052
Sam's throwing a tantrum.
152
00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:57,721
I know.
153
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:58,322
We know.
154
00:05:58,357 --> 00:05:58,856
What happened?
155
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,891
Did we run out of bacon?
156
00:06:00,927 --> 00:06:02,661
No.
157
00:06:02,697 --> 00:06:08,499
She's mad 'cause I refuse
to enter a beauty pageant.
158
00:06:08,541 --> 00:06:10,274
You know you're gonna give in.
159
00:06:10,311 --> 00:06:13,080
Not this time.
160
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:17,319
In 5, 4, 3, 2...
All right.
161
00:06:17,359 --> 00:06:19,328
I'll be in the stupid pageant.
162
00:06:19,366 --> 00:06:19,865
Yay.
163
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:23,835
Bring me my soup.
164
00:06:23,875 --> 00:06:25,208
I'm gonna make some of
my special lemonade.
165
00:06:25,245 --> 00:06:26,145
Anybody want some?
166
00:06:26,179 --> 00:06:26,746
Eww.
167
00:06:26,781 --> 00:06:30,716
Gross.
168
00:06:30,755 --> 00:06:33,790
So, Fred man, you got plans
for next Saturday night?
169
00:06:33,829 --> 00:06:36,029
Just making cashew butter with my mom.
170
00:06:36,066 --> 00:06:40,668
Cancel that 'cause you and me are
going on a double date, baby.
171
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,243
Double date.
172
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:43,346
With who?
173
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:43,881
Okay.
174
00:06:43,916 --> 00:06:45,349
You know that girl I've
been going out with?
175
00:06:45,385 --> 00:06:47,319
The one.
176
00:06:47,355 --> 00:06:49,956
No, not that one.
177
00:06:49,994 --> 00:06:52,662
Her name is Alison and we made
a date to go rock climbing
178
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,001
next Saturday night but
then she tried to cancel
179
00:06:55,039 --> 00:06:57,207
'cause her 15-year-old cousin
Leslie is coming to stay with her.
180
00:06:57,243 --> 00:07:00,979
So I said, well, what if I happen
to know a delightfully awkward
181
00:07:01,018 --> 00:07:04,754
15-year-old dude who'd love to
go rock climbing with Leslie
182
00:07:04,793 --> 00:07:06,260
and she said that'd be sweet.
183
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:07,295
So you're going.
184
00:07:07,330 --> 00:07:08,130
Nuh-uh.
185
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:08,866
Why not?
186
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,868
'Cause I don't go on dates
with girls I've never met.
187
00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:13,940
Well, no girl you have met is
gonna go on a date with you.
188
00:07:13,978 --> 00:07:14,711
Come on.
189
00:07:14,747 --> 00:07:17,614
Alison said Leslie is
cute and fun and nice.
190
00:07:17,652 --> 00:07:24,523
I don't do blind dates.
191
00:07:24,567 --> 00:07:29,670
Spencer, I'm not gonna be...
In 5, 4, 3, 2... okay.
192
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:30,877
Yay.
193
00:07:30,913 --> 00:07:32,513
[Music]
194
00:07:37,059 --> 00:07:37,859
You got it on?
195
00:07:37,894 --> 00:07:38,593
Yes.
196
00:07:38,629 --> 00:07:39,328
Well, let's see it.
197
00:07:39,363 --> 00:07:41,363
Get out here.
198
00:07:46,679 --> 00:07:47,378
How does it look?
199
00:07:47,414 --> 00:07:48,214
Hot.
200
00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:50,449
That dress is beauty pageant gold.
201
00:07:50,486 --> 00:07:57,459
It just needs a couple of things.
202
00:07:57,502 --> 00:07:58,335
Here.
203
00:07:58,372 --> 00:07:59,705
What are these?
204
00:07:59,741 --> 00:08:02,809
You stuff them in your bra.
205
00:08:02,847 --> 00:08:03,947
Gross. No.
206
00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,248
Come on, it's a beauty pageant.
207
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:09,185
Yeah, a beauty pageant,
not a booby pageant.
208
00:08:09,223 --> 00:08:10,557
Where did you even buy these?
209
00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:12,694
Instaboobs.com.
210
00:08:12,732 --> 00:08:13,798
Well, return them.
211
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:14,366
I can't.
212
00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:18,405
My mom wore 'em last night.
213
00:08:18,445 --> 00:08:18,911
All right.
214
00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:20,513
You're ready to learn how
to handle the hardest part
215
00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:21,250
of the beauty pageant?
216
00:08:21,286 --> 00:08:22,153
What is it?
217
00:08:22,187 --> 00:08:23,521
Answering the question.
218
00:08:23,557 --> 00:08:25,691
The reason I always lost to Leanne.
219
00:08:25,729 --> 00:08:27,395
Why is answering a question so hard?
220
00:08:27,432 --> 00:08:30,531
'Cause the way they all sound
sweet and smart and perfect.
221
00:08:30,569 --> 00:08:32,168
Want to see how I use to
do it when I was little?
222
00:08:32,206 --> 00:08:32,739
Yeah.
223
00:08:32,774 --> 00:08:36,376
Check this out.
224
00:08:36,415 --> 00:08:41,852
Well, I believe that school is
very boring and that many teachers
225
00:08:41,892 --> 00:08:46,294
are fat and lazy.
226
00:08:46,335 --> 00:08:46,934
Oh, my God.
227
00:08:46,970 --> 00:08:48,303
I can't believe you said that.
228
00:08:48,339 --> 00:08:49,839
Neither could the judges.
229
00:08:49,875 --> 00:08:50,641
They don't want honesty.
230
00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:54,277
All they wanna hear about is ending
world hunger for the children.
231
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,182
Wanna practice?
232
00:08:55,218 --> 00:08:58,454
Let's do it.
233
00:08:58,492 --> 00:09:01,361
Now, Carly, what are your thoughts
about America's dependence
234
00:09:01,399 --> 00:09:03,033
on foreign oil?
235
00:09:03,069 --> 00:09:06,872
Well, America's dependence on
foreign oil is definitely an issue,
236
00:09:06,910 --> 00:09:13,248
but I feel that if we all work
together, we can end world hunger.
237
00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:13,924
For the children.
238
00:09:13,958 --> 00:09:16,693
For the children.
239
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,330
[Music]
240
00:09:22,608 --> 00:09:24,275
Hey, what are you doing
with that thing?
241
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:25,813
I got it at the galaxy
wars convention.
242
00:09:25,850 --> 00:09:28,584
Check this out.
243
00:09:28,621 --> 00:09:30,722
Dude, not cool.
244
00:09:30,758 --> 00:09:31,858
We have girls coming here.
245
00:09:31,894 --> 00:09:33,061
Put it away.
246
00:09:33,097 --> 00:09:33,630
Okay.
247
00:09:33,665 --> 00:09:34,765
Wait. Wait.
248
00:09:34,801 --> 00:09:40,204
Let me hold it.
249
00:09:40,245 --> 00:09:43,980
That is awesome.
250
00:09:44,019 --> 00:09:49,990
[Doorbell rings]
251
00:09:50,031 --> 00:09:50,898
Well, hello, ladies.
252
00:09:50,933 --> 00:09:53,934
We were not just playing with a
hand laser from galaxy wars.
253
00:09:53,973 --> 00:09:57,376
Won't you come in?
254
00:09:57,414 --> 00:09:58,915
Alison, this is bud Freddie.
255
00:09:58,952 --> 00:09:59,351
Hi.
256
00:09:59,386 --> 00:09:59,919
Hi.
257
00:09:59,954 --> 00:10:01,121
And this is Leslie.
258
00:10:01,157 --> 00:10:01,456
Hey.
259
00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:02,090
Hi. Nice to meet you.
260
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:02,792
How is it going?
261
00:10:02,827 --> 00:10:03,493
Okay.
262
00:10:03,529 --> 00:10:06,397
Who's ready to go
indoor rock climbing?
263
00:10:06,435 --> 00:10:09,005
I couldn't get us a
climb time till 8:30.
264
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,976
Oh, well, no worries.
265
00:10:11,011 --> 00:10:12,578
We can kill a half hour here.
266
00:10:12,616 --> 00:10:13,782
Okay.
267
00:10:13,819 --> 00:10:15,152
Oh, my God.
268
00:10:15,189 --> 00:10:16,556
You have "what am I?"
269
00:10:16,591 --> 00:10:17,958
I love this game.
270
00:10:17,994 --> 00:10:18,360
Oh, yeah.
271
00:10:18,394 --> 00:10:20,528
My buddy Socko bought me that,
but I've never played it.
272
00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:21,265
It's awesome.
273
00:10:21,299 --> 00:10:24,067
Everybody puts a card on their forehead
and you ask yes or no questions
274
00:10:24,105 --> 00:10:25,305
and try to figure out what you are.
275
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:25,940
It sounds fun.
276
00:10:25,976 --> 00:10:26,542
Let's play.
277
00:10:26,577 --> 00:10:30,513
I'll get the low-cal cream soda.
278
00:10:30,553 --> 00:10:31,753
Let me get this.
279
00:10:31,788 --> 00:10:32,721
Thanks.
280
00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,957
I'll be here.
281
00:10:33,993 --> 00:10:35,727
Okay.
282
00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:36,363
Okay.
283
00:10:36,398 --> 00:10:38,232
So we just put these
bands around our heads?
284
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:39,201
Mm-hmm. Okay.
285
00:10:39,238 --> 00:10:41,872
Now, everyone, pick a card
but don't look at it.
286
00:10:41,910 --> 00:10:43,076
Just put it on your forehead.
287
00:10:43,111 --> 00:10:44,545
Okidoki.
288
00:10:44,581 --> 00:10:45,347
On our foreheads.
289
00:10:45,384 --> 00:10:47,084
Alison, you start.
290
00:10:47,119 --> 00:10:49,087
Um, am I an animal?
291
00:10:49,124 --> 00:10:49,690
No.
292
00:10:49,725 --> 00:10:50,125
Nuh-uh.
293
00:10:50,159 --> 00:10:51,359
No.
294
00:10:51,395 --> 00:10:51,927
Your turn, Leslie.
295
00:10:51,963 --> 00:10:53,964
Um, am I something you can drink?
296
00:10:54,001 --> 00:10:55,168
Not really.
297
00:10:55,203 --> 00:10:57,938
You would choke to death.
298
00:10:57,976 --> 00:10:59,076
Okay. Freddie, you go.
299
00:10:59,111 --> 00:10:59,777
Okay.
300
00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:02,147
Am I something you
could buy at a store?
301
00:11:02,185 --> 00:11:03,218
Yes.
302
00:11:03,253 --> 00:11:03,853
You can?
303
00:11:03,888 --> 00:11:05,054
Yeah, they have duck stores.
304
00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,523
Oh, dude.
305
00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:09,528
Oh. Sorry.
306
00:11:09,566 --> 00:11:11,166
[Music]
307
00:11:15,478 --> 00:11:18,213
The smells of a beauty pageant:
308
00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:21,419
Hairspray and desperation.
309
00:11:21,456 --> 00:11:24,625
I wonder if anyone here
is gonna remember me.
310
00:11:24,663 --> 00:11:27,132
Mom. Mom. Mom.
311
00:11:27,169 --> 00:11:32,306
Samantha Puckett.
312
00:11:32,347 --> 00:11:35,649
I think they remember you.
313
00:11:35,688 --> 00:11:39,557
Come on, let's get you dolled up.
314
00:11:39,596 --> 00:11:40,062
There she is.
315
00:11:40,097 --> 00:11:40,496
There she is.
316
00:11:40,532 --> 00:11:41,098
There she is.
317
00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:41,900
That's Leanne Carter?
318
00:11:41,934 --> 00:11:42,767
Don't say her name.
319
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,270
She's a monster.
320
00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:45,507
Samantha?
321
00:11:45,542 --> 00:11:45,942
Yeah. Yeah.
322
00:11:45,976 --> 00:11:47,510
Hi, Leanne.
323
00:11:47,546 --> 00:11:48,379
Oh, my God.
324
00:11:48,415 --> 00:11:52,085
I didn't expect to see you here.
325
00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:53,290
I'm her friend Carly.
326
00:11:53,325 --> 00:11:53,991
I know.
327
00:11:54,027 --> 00:11:55,360
I watch iCarly on the Web.
328
00:11:55,396 --> 00:11:56,663
It is so awesome.
329
00:11:56,699 --> 00:11:58,633
Who asked your opinion?
330
00:11:58,669 --> 00:12:00,236
She is so funny.
331
00:12:00,271 --> 00:12:01,638
Are you competing tonight?
332
00:12:01,674 --> 00:12:04,744
No, I'm still banned 'cause
you fell down some stairs.
333
00:12:04,782 --> 00:12:08,419
I know. I'm so clumsy.
334
00:12:08,458 --> 00:12:11,259
So I hear you're going for your
hundredth straight pageant win tonight?
335
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:12,731
Well, I'm gonna try.
336
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:13,199
Yeah.
337
00:12:13,234 --> 00:12:14,467
Well, good luck beating Carly.
338
00:12:14,504 --> 00:12:16,338
She's got mad pageant skills.
339
00:12:16,373 --> 00:12:18,774
Well, then it's an honor
to compete against you.
340
00:12:18,812 --> 00:12:20,046
Oh, jam it, Leanne.
341
00:12:20,082 --> 00:12:21,348
[Laughs]
342
00:12:21,383 --> 00:12:24,852
She kills me.
343
00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:27,292
You said she was nauseating
and she's totally nice.
344
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:29,198
Nice nauseates me.
345
00:12:29,234 --> 00:12:32,337
It's taken me years
to get used to you.
346
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:34,843
Well, I can tell you right now, there's
no way I'm gonna beat that girl.
347
00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,381
Yes, you are.
348
00:12:37,419 --> 00:12:38,620
And go put on your evening gown.
349
00:12:38,655 --> 00:12:39,522
I'll go sign you in.
350
00:12:39,557 --> 00:12:41,091
Okay.
351
00:12:41,127 --> 00:12:43,128
Samantha Puckett?
352
00:12:43,165 --> 00:12:44,065
Christopher?
353
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:47,402
I thought you were in prison.
354
00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,342
It was juvie.
355
00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,080
You're not competing tonight, are you?
356
00:12:52,116 --> 00:12:53,016
No. Don't you remember?
357
00:12:53,052 --> 00:12:54,619
I got banned for seven years.
358
00:12:54,655 --> 00:13:00,292
Right, but that was 7 1/2 years ago.
359
00:13:00,334 --> 00:13:01,300
Wait.
360
00:13:01,336 --> 00:13:03,870
So you're saying I'm eligible
to compete in the pageant?
361
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,341
Are you carrying any weapons?
362
00:13:06,379 --> 00:13:07,979
No.
363
00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:21,170
Yes, you're eligible to
compete in the pageant.
364
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,409
Help us.
365
00:13:23,446 --> 00:13:25,180
Wait. Give me that dress.
366
00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:35,148
All pageant girls report to the
main staging area in 12 minutes.
367
00:13:35,187 --> 00:13:38,856
All pageant girls report to the
main staging area in 12 minutes.
368
00:13:38,895 --> 00:13:39,528
Hurry.
369
00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:42,264
A dress will only come off so fast.
370
00:13:42,302 --> 00:13:43,202
Here, I'll help you.
371
00:13:43,238 --> 00:13:43,904
No. No.
372
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:44,872
Take that thing off.
373
00:13:44,909 --> 00:13:45,775
Give me that thing.
374
00:13:45,810 --> 00:13:47,410
If you get that thing, it'll be okay.
375
00:13:47,447 --> 00:13:49,447
Just up and over.
376
00:13:49,484 --> 00:13:52,552
And thanks for being gentle.
377
00:13:52,590 --> 00:13:53,957
You're not mad at me, are you?
378
00:13:53,993 --> 00:13:54,326
Why?
379
00:13:54,361 --> 00:13:56,795
Just 'cause you threw a hissy fit and
forced me to enter a beauty pageant
380
00:13:56,831 --> 00:14:00,869
and made me go through nine hours
of pageant training for nothing!
381
00:14:00,909 --> 00:14:01,809
I need the shoes.
382
00:14:01,844 --> 00:14:02,544
Give me a sec. No.
383
00:14:02,579 --> 00:14:03,312
Give me a sec. Oh.
384
00:14:03,347 --> 00:14:04,280
I need one.
385
00:14:04,316 --> 00:14:04,815
Okay.
386
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:06,251
Give me the other one, the other one.
387
00:14:06,287 --> 00:14:06,920
There you go.
388
00:14:06,954 --> 00:14:07,487
Hey.
389
00:14:07,522 --> 00:14:09,090
I've got it. I've got it.
390
00:14:09,126 --> 00:14:10,660
Ta-DA.
391
00:14:10,696 --> 00:14:13,565
I feel hot.
392
00:14:13,604 --> 00:14:16,505
I feel violated.
393
00:14:16,543 --> 00:14:19,411
Samantha, I just heard that
you are competing tonight.
394
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:20,183
Yeah.
395
00:14:20,217 --> 00:14:23,152
Afraid you're not gonna get
your hundredth straight win?
396
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:23,724
You know what?
397
00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:25,326
For me, it's just fun to be here.
398
00:14:25,363 --> 00:14:26,929
That tears it.
399
00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:29,933
Sam. Sam.
-- Do great tonight.
400
00:14:29,971 --> 00:14:32,105
Don't tell me what to do.
401
00:14:32,142 --> 00:14:35,077
[Music]
402
00:14:35,116 --> 00:14:36,949
Am I something you can wear?
403
00:14:36,985 --> 00:14:37,351
Totally.
404
00:14:37,385 --> 00:14:39,019
Yes, you are.
405
00:14:39,056 --> 00:14:39,555
Am I pants?
406
00:14:39,591 --> 00:14:40,291
Bingo.
407
00:14:40,325 --> 00:14:41,024
Yeah.
408
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:42,060
Whoo.
409
00:14:42,095 --> 00:14:43,629
Straight up.
410
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:45,299
[Cheering]
411
00:14:45,337 --> 00:14:46,070
I guess they won.
412
00:14:46,104 --> 00:14:47,371
Can we go rock climbing now?
413
00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:47,673
No.
414
00:14:47,708 --> 00:14:48,274
No.
415
00:14:48,309 --> 00:14:50,778
We all got to guess
what our forehead say.
416
00:14:50,815 --> 00:14:51,615
Freddie, your turn.
417
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:52,216
Okay.
418
00:14:52,252 --> 00:14:54,552
Am I a subatomic particle?
419
00:14:54,588 --> 00:14:55,655
That's just a bad question.
420
00:14:55,691 --> 00:14:56,090
No.
421
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:56,591
Yeah.
422
00:14:56,626 --> 00:14:58,193
That would never be in
one of these cards.
423
00:14:58,229 --> 00:14:58,695
Yeah.
424
00:14:58,729 --> 00:15:05,235
Come on-- [Music]
425
00:15:05,278 --> 00:15:09,948
[Applause]
426
00:15:09,987 --> 00:15:11,455
My name is Leanne Carter.
427
00:15:11,491 --> 00:15:15,928
I'm from Tacoma, and I spend my free
time volunteering at animal shelters.
428
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:19,169
[Applause]
429
00:15:19,208 --> 00:15:23,311
My name is Danica McNoltey I'm
from Yakima, and I enjoy reading
430
00:15:23,350 --> 00:15:25,017
to special needs kids.
431
00:15:25,054 --> 00:15:27,288
[Applause]
432
00:15:27,324 --> 00:15:28,658
[Cheering]
433
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:29,661
Shh. Shh. Shh.
434
00:15:29,697 --> 00:15:32,432
This one's mine.
435
00:15:32,470 --> 00:15:34,704
My name is Samantha Puckett
and I'm from Seattle,
436
00:15:34,742 --> 00:15:37,644
and I love fried chicken.
437
00:15:37,681 --> 00:15:38,514
[Applause]
438
00:15:38,551 --> 00:15:39,551
It's true.
439
00:15:39,586 --> 00:15:47,861
She does. She loves chicken.
440
00:15:47,906 --> 00:15:48,905
You did great.
441
00:15:48,941 --> 00:15:50,941
No, I was off balance when
I turned to walk off.
442
00:15:50,979 --> 00:15:52,245
No one will notice that.
443
00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:53,613
I'm feeling all anxious now.
444
00:15:53,650 --> 00:15:54,549
Where's my purse?
445
00:15:54,585 --> 00:16:00,087
Here, here.
446
00:16:00,128 --> 00:16:02,463
You keep fried chicken in your purse?
447
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:06,299
It's my emergency thigh.
448
00:16:06,338 --> 00:16:08,904
Coming up next, the question
and answer round, followed by
449
00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:10,773
the talent competition.
450
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:13,477
The talent competition,
what are you gonna do?
451
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:14,982
I'll just sing the song
you were gonna sing.
452
00:16:15,018 --> 00:16:15,618
Do you know the words?
453
00:16:15,653 --> 00:16:16,353
No, teach me.
454
00:16:16,388 --> 00:16:17,555
Okay, where did you
put the lyric sheet?
455
00:16:17,590 --> 00:16:23,495
In my purse.
456
00:16:23,536 --> 00:16:26,071
Are these ribs?
457
00:16:26,109 --> 00:16:28,043
I can't eat chicken all the time.
458
00:16:28,079 --> 00:16:29,079
[Music]
459
00:16:29,115 --> 00:16:31,582
Okay, okay. Am I large?
460
00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:33,655
Yes. Well, yes and no.
461
00:16:33,691 --> 00:16:34,724
Define large.
462
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:36,193
Large, big.
463
00:16:36,230 --> 00:16:38,431
Yes. Wait, define big.
464
00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:39,401
Dude.
465
00:16:39,436 --> 00:16:41,337
Well, big is a relative term.
466
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:41,908
Spencer?
467
00:16:41,942 --> 00:16:44,743
Like a AA battery is
big to a lady bug.
468
00:16:44,782 --> 00:16:46,782
Right, but...
We've already missed our climb time.
469
00:16:46,819 --> 00:16:48,219
Great, then we can finish the game.
470
00:16:48,255 --> 00:16:49,122
Yeah.
471
00:16:49,157 --> 00:16:50,457
Can't we at least eat dinner?
472
00:16:50,494 --> 00:16:55,964
Yeah, I'm starving.
473
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:59,107
There, bon appetit.
474
00:16:59,145 --> 00:16:59,911
Fiber nuts.
475
00:16:59,946 --> 00:17:01,279
It's a quality cereal.
476
00:17:01,316 --> 00:17:04,550
Yeah.
477
00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:06,122
Okay, yes, you're big.
478
00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:07,426
Okay. Am I Texas?
479
00:17:07,462 --> 00:17:07,728
No.
480
00:17:07,763 --> 00:17:08,863
Oh.
481
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:11,701
[Music]
482
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:15,940
Answering the next question
will be Samantha Puckett.
483
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,980
[Applause]
484
00:17:25,298 --> 00:17:29,067
What goes on.
485
00:17:29,106 --> 00:17:33,344
Samantha, there's been much talk in
recent years about global warming.
486
00:17:33,385 --> 00:17:37,921
What is your position and what do you
think we, as Americans, should do?
487
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,595
Just say we should end world hunger.
488
00:17:41,635 --> 00:17:45,703
Well, you see, Dave, with a
topic like global warming,
489
00:17:45,741 --> 00:17:50,077
most of the idiots out there don't know
what the chiz they're talking about.
490
00:17:50,117 --> 00:17:52,986
Well, what do you say we all work
together to end world hunger?
491
00:17:53,023 --> 00:17:57,092
[Applause]
492
00:17:57,131 --> 00:17:59,532
For the children.
493
00:17:59,570 --> 00:17:59,902
[Applause]
494
00:17:59,938 --> 00:18:02,439
Wonderful.
495
00:18:02,476 --> 00:18:07,046
[Music]
496
00:18:07,085 --> 00:18:08,752
Can I be spread or squirted?
497
00:18:08,789 --> 00:18:09,756
You got to pick one or the other.
498
00:18:09,791 --> 00:18:10,424
Can I be squirted?
499
00:18:10,459 --> 00:18:10,759
Yes.
500
00:18:10,794 --> 00:18:11,393
Am I a waffle?
501
00:18:11,428 --> 00:18:13,395
No, you don't squirt waffles.
502
00:18:13,432 --> 00:18:15,365
Do you guys wanna go out or not?
503
00:18:15,401 --> 00:18:17,301
Hey, you took your card off your
forehead before you guessed
504
00:18:17,339 --> 00:18:17,971
what you were.
505
00:18:18,007 --> 00:18:20,007
That's against the rules.
506
00:18:20,044 --> 00:18:21,310
Come on, my turn.
507
00:18:21,347 --> 00:18:22,647
Am I a gas?
508
00:18:22,682 --> 00:18:24,249
No, you're big.
509
00:18:24,285 --> 00:18:25,685
Gases aren't big.
510
00:18:25,722 --> 00:18:28,823
You guys wanna make out with us?
511
00:18:28,861 --> 00:18:30,028
A gas can occupy a big space.
512
00:18:30,064 --> 00:18:32,365
Yeah, but the gas itself isn't big.
513
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:33,636
My turn.
514
00:18:33,672 --> 00:18:34,772
Am I a fruit?
515
00:18:34,808 --> 00:18:37,977
On what planet are there
squirtable fruits?
516
00:18:38,015 --> 00:18:43,952
A planet I wanna live on.
517
00:18:43,993 --> 00:18:45,593
[Music]
518
00:18:49,103 --> 00:18:49,469
Oh, man.
519
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:53,006
She's killing it out there
with her stupid saxophone.
520
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:54,545
Then you better let me
teach you the song.
521
00:18:54,581 --> 00:18:56,349
We don't have enough time.
522
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:57,785
There she is.
523
00:18:57,822 --> 00:18:58,388
[Laughs]
524
00:18:58,424 --> 00:19:01,959
Ernie! What...
Samantha Puckett.
525
00:19:01,997 --> 00:19:03,896
I've never thought I'd see
you at another pageant.
526
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:04,667
I'm back.
527
00:19:04,701 --> 00:19:05,467
I see that.
528
00:19:05,504 --> 00:19:06,203
How's your mom?
529
00:19:06,238 --> 00:19:07,137
Still the worst.
530
00:19:07,173 --> 00:19:07,472
[Laughs]
531
00:19:07,507 --> 00:19:09,308
Right.
532
00:19:09,344 --> 00:19:10,644
Oh, Carly this is Ernie.
533
00:19:10,647 --> 00:19:12,947
He used to be my dance coach when
I was a little pageant girl.
534
00:19:12,983 --> 00:19:13,316
Hey.
535
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:14,151
Nice to meet you.
536
00:19:14,186 --> 00:19:15,286
I didn't know you could dance.
537
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:16,422
Puckett?
538
00:19:16,457 --> 00:19:18,224
Best little dancer I ever worked with.
539
00:19:18,261 --> 00:19:19,927
Ah, it's true.
540
00:19:19,965 --> 00:19:23,967
Performing next in the talent
competition, Samantha Puckett.
541
00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:25,072
You're gonna have to dance.
542
00:19:25,107 --> 00:19:25,640
I don't know.
543
00:19:25,675 --> 00:19:27,775
It's been almost eight years.
544
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:29,313
Do you remember the
train station routine?
545
00:19:29,349 --> 00:19:31,082
Don't insult me.
546
00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:31,918
Be my partner?
547
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,587
Come on.
548
00:19:33,623 --> 00:19:36,023
Kill it, Sam.
549
00:19:36,060 --> 00:19:41,495
Do you have any more ribs?
550
00:19:41,538 --> 00:19:43,004
Beef or pork?
551
00:19:43,007 --> 00:19:46,642
[Music]
552
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:49,915
Ladies and gentlemen, dancing
with her former coach,
553
00:19:49,954 --> 00:19:52,856
I give you, Samantha Puckett.
554
00:19:52,895 --> 00:19:54,895
[Applause]
555
00:20:03,454 --> 00:20:05,054
[Music]
556
00:20:20,558 --> 00:20:22,158
[Music]
557
00:22:06,345 --> 00:22:10,813
[Applause]
558
00:22:10,854 --> 00:22:13,088
Yeah!
559
00:22:13,124 --> 00:22:14,724
[Music]
560
00:22:18,636 --> 00:22:20,569
Am I a balloon?
561
00:22:20,607 --> 00:22:22,307
No.
562
00:22:22,344 --> 00:22:23,644
Am I a tissue?
563
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,447
No.
564
00:22:25,483 --> 00:22:26,816
Am I dirt?
565
00:22:26,853 --> 00:22:28,120
No.
566
00:22:28,155 --> 00:22:29,189
Will you kill me?
567
00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:30,824
No.
568
00:22:30,861 --> 00:22:32,261
Hey, what happened to you guys?
569
00:22:32,297 --> 00:22:34,331
It's almost one in the morning.
570
00:22:34,367 --> 00:22:36,368
You were supposed to pick us
up at the pageant at midnight.
571
00:22:36,406 --> 00:22:37,539
Sorry. Am I a finger puppet?
572
00:22:37,574 --> 00:22:38,207
No.
573
00:22:38,243 --> 00:22:39,176
Am I a thermometer?
574
00:22:39,210 --> 00:22:40,911
No.
575
00:22:40,948 --> 00:22:41,948
Sam won the pageant.
576
00:22:41,983 --> 00:22:43,950
Mama got first place.
577
00:22:43,988 --> 00:22:45,221
Am I the French revolution?
578
00:22:45,257 --> 00:22:47,724
I don't even know what that is.
579
00:22:47,761 --> 00:22:50,529
Hey, I won first place.
580
00:22:50,567 --> 00:22:52,334
Can you guys pay a
little attention to us?
581
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:53,205
No.
582
00:22:53,239 --> 00:22:56,241
We have five hours
invested in this game.
583
00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,548
We are not stopping till
we guess what we are.
584
00:22:58,585 --> 00:22:59,118
You're cheese.
585
00:22:59,153 --> 00:22:59,987
You're a big toe.
586
00:23:00,021 --> 00:23:00,687
Oh!
587
00:23:00,724 --> 00:23:01,657
Dang it!
588
00:23:01,692 --> 00:23:04,094
[Music]
589
00:23:04,131 --> 00:23:04,964
Am I a squirrel?
590
00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,600
No.
591
00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:11,200
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