Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,288
[Music]
2
00:00:04,322 --> 00:00:05,929
Okay, so Thursday afternoon.
3
00:00:05,966 --> 00:00:08,869
Me and Carly were walking through
the lobby... Minding our own business...
4
00:00:08,907 --> 00:00:11,461
While Lewbert was sitting at
his desk eating falafels.
5
00:00:11,498 --> 00:00:16,481
A spherical middle eastern
food made from the chickpea.
6
00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:19,559
Chickpea.
7
00:00:19,596 --> 00:00:21,164
And now, we're gonna show
you what Lewbert did.
8
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,136
Thanks to Freddie's hidden cameras.
9
00:00:23,172 --> 00:00:24,640
Playback.
10
00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,010
♪ I'm number one baby, ♪
11
00:00:26,045 --> 00:00:27,478
♪ always number one baby... ♪
12
00:00:27,481 --> 00:00:28,782
Hey!
13
00:00:28,817 --> 00:00:31,487
No song singing in my lobby.
14
00:00:31,524 --> 00:00:32,861
What's your problem?
15
00:00:32,896 --> 00:00:34,565
You!
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:38,442
[Screaming]
17
00:00:38,480 --> 00:00:41,683
He pelted us with falafel balls.
18
00:00:41,687 --> 00:00:49,598
Which is why we decided it's time
for another installment of...
19
00:00:49,607 --> 00:00:51,909
So after school today...
Me, Carly, and Fred-pus
20
00:00:51,945 --> 00:00:55,283
snuck into Lewbert's office...
And installed two more hidden cameras.
21
00:00:55,321 --> 00:00:57,456
And, we also left Lewbert
a little surprise.
22
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:59,661
Which we're gonna give him right now.
23
00:00:59,698 --> 00:01:01,499
Going live to Lewbert.
24
00:01:01,534 --> 00:01:04,470
[Phone rings]
25
00:01:04,507 --> 00:01:06,141
Bushwell Plaza.
26
00:01:06,178 --> 00:01:08,546
Don't go into your office.
27
00:01:08,583 --> 00:01:09,483
What?
28
00:01:09,519 --> 00:01:10,619
Who is this?
29
00:01:10,654 --> 00:01:14,327
And do not open the
cabinet over the TV.
30
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:19,673
Don't open the what-- nobody tells
me what cabinets not to open!
31
00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:23,046
Switching to the office cam.
32
00:01:23,085 --> 00:01:27,154
I don't take orders from
no unanimous caller.
33
00:01:27,193 --> 00:01:30,163
I'll open any cabinet I feel like!
34
00:01:30,200 --> 00:01:32,200
[Screaming]
35
00:01:42,693 --> 00:01:51,203
In 5, 4, 3, 2...
♪ I know, you see ♪
36
00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:52,279
♪ somehow the world ♪
37
00:01:52,314 --> 00:01:53,514
♪ will change for me ♪
38
00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:58,090
♪ and be so wonderful ♪
39
00:01:58,128 --> 00:02:00,429
♪ live life, breathe air ♪
40
00:02:00,465 --> 00:02:01,531
♪ I know somehow ♪
41
00:02:01,567 --> 00:02:02,600
♪ we're gonna get there ♪
42
00:02:02,635 --> 00:02:07,539
♪ and feel so wonderful ♪
43
00:02:07,578 --> 00:02:11,116
♪ it's all for real ♪
44
00:02:11,155 --> 00:02:11,922
♪ I'm telling you ♪
45
00:02:11,958 --> 00:02:13,159
♪ just how I feel ♪
46
00:02:13,194 --> 00:02:15,396
♪ so wake up the members ♪
47
00:02:15,432 --> 00:02:17,265
♪ of my nation ♪
48
00:02:17,302 --> 00:02:18,936
♪ it's your time to be ♪
49
00:02:18,973 --> 00:02:19,839
♪ there's no chance ♪
50
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:21,909
♪ unless you take one ♪
51
00:02:21,946 --> 00:02:23,347
♪ and the time to see ♪
52
00:02:23,383 --> 00:02:24,651
♪ the brighter side ♪
53
00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:27,923
♪ of every situation ♪
54
00:02:27,961 --> 00:02:29,495
♪ some things are meant to be ♪
55
00:02:29,531 --> 00:02:30,998
♪ so give it your best ♪
56
00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:50,200
[screaming]
57
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,002
Oh yeah, that's fine.
58
00:02:51,037 --> 00:02:52,972
And definitely best part of the night.
59
00:02:53,008 --> 00:02:53,608
Yeah, for sure.
60
00:02:53,643 --> 00:02:54,476
Yeah, we all love that.
61
00:02:54,511 --> 00:02:57,480
Okay, who would like a super
special after Web show snack?
62
00:02:57,517 --> 00:02:59,552
What sort of snackage
we're talking about here?
63
00:02:59,588 --> 00:03:05,026
We are talking about a tray of red
velvet cupcakes with cream filling.
64
00:03:05,065 --> 00:03:06,232
Whoa.
65
00:03:06,267 --> 00:03:07,567
From cupcake Jake's?
66
00:03:07,569 --> 00:03:08,136
Yep.
67
00:03:08,171 --> 00:03:09,471
Cupcake for you.
68
00:03:09,506 --> 00:03:10,840
Cupcake for Sam.
69
00:03:10,876 --> 00:03:14,712
Cupcake for me.
70
00:03:14,750 --> 00:03:18,518
Mm-hmm.
71
00:03:18,557 --> 00:03:20,591
My cupcake's hollow.
72
00:03:20,627 --> 00:03:21,927
So's mine.
73
00:03:21,964 --> 00:03:24,932
What happened to the cream filling?
74
00:03:24,969 --> 00:03:27,637
They're all empty.
75
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,674
How did they?
76
00:03:33,752 --> 00:03:37,621
So what do you think happened?
77
00:03:37,659 --> 00:03:40,561
You snuck downstairs before the
Web show and sucked the filling
78
00:03:40,598 --> 00:03:42,899
out of all these cupcakes.
79
00:03:42,936 --> 00:03:44,002
Your point being?
80
00:03:44,038 --> 00:03:46,939
You call cupcake Jake's right now
and order us 12 more of these.
81
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,077
Okay.
82
00:03:48,112 --> 00:03:49,079
Can you believe her?
83
00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:50,014
You're surprised?
84
00:03:50,049 --> 00:03:50,815
No.
85
00:03:50,851 --> 00:03:51,584
Hey, where's my phone?
86
00:03:51,619 --> 00:03:55,088
Maybe, you accidentally inhaled it when
you were De-creaming the cupcakes.
87
00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:56,860
I know I left my phone in this pocket.
88
00:03:56,896 --> 00:03:59,498
Hey, didn't you call your mom from
Lewbert's office when we were rigging
89
00:03:59,535 --> 00:04:00,802
the golf balls?
90
00:04:00,837 --> 00:04:03,906
Oh man, I left my phone
in Lewbert's office.
91
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:04,676
Come, help me get it.
92
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:09,546
No, I have to try and give
my cupcakes a transfusion.
93
00:04:09,585 --> 00:04:10,551
Then, you're helping me.
94
00:04:10,587 --> 00:04:11,253
Oh, no.
95
00:04:11,288 --> 00:04:13,155
I'm not gonna risk getting
caught and then having my mother
96
00:04:13,192 --> 00:04:15,159
find out that-- oh, come on.
97
00:04:15,195 --> 00:04:17,663
Sam, how do you do this?!
98
00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:18,866
We'll be back in a few.
99
00:04:18,903 --> 00:04:20,136
Cupcake sucker!
100
00:04:20,171 --> 00:04:21,337
You kids have fun.
101
00:04:21,373 --> 00:04:23,774
No, no!
102
00:04:23,810 --> 00:04:25,343
Kay pasta?
103
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:26,213
What up with the vest?
104
00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:28,683
It's my building watch uniform.
105
00:04:28,719 --> 00:04:30,185
Oh yeah, how was the tenants' meeting?
106
00:04:30,222 --> 00:04:33,322
You know, three more apartments in this
building were robbed last weekend?
107
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:34,526
What'd they steal this time?
108
00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,662
Same thing, TV remotes.
109
00:04:36,698 --> 00:04:38,399
What kinda burglar breaks
into people's apartments
110
00:04:38,435 --> 00:04:40,336
just to steal TV remotes?
111
00:04:40,372 --> 00:04:42,972
A remote control freak.
112
00:04:50,925 --> 00:04:55,595
Anyway, I fell asleep in the meeting,
and was unwillingly appointed to be
113
00:04:55,634 --> 00:04:57,802
on the building watch patrol by Mrs.
Benson.
114
00:04:57,838 --> 00:04:58,972
[Knock on door]
115
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,641
I got it.
116
00:05:00,677 --> 00:05:01,844
Comin'.
117
00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:05,414
[Knock on door]
118
00:05:05,451 --> 00:05:06,684
Oh, hi Mrs. Benson.
119
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,486
What can I do for you?
120
00:05:07,521 --> 00:05:10,987
I've assigned you a
building watch partner.
121
00:05:11,026 --> 00:05:13,393
A partner?
122
00:05:13,429 --> 00:05:14,896
I see.
123
00:05:14,932 --> 00:05:16,866
Aren't you...
Gabriella.
124
00:05:16,902 --> 00:05:19,603
Right.
125
00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:23,009
Well, I certainly look forward to you
and me patrolling the-- Gabriella is
126
00:05:23,047 --> 00:05:27,217
my watch partner, stupid.
127
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:30,290
Okay, well then who is mine?
128
00:05:30,327 --> 00:05:32,560
Have you met Chuck?
129
00:05:32,596 --> 00:05:35,831
[Screaming]
130
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:39,136
No.
131
00:05:39,174 --> 00:05:44,978
Stupid golf balls, all over
my floor, almost killed me!
132
00:05:45,017 --> 00:05:49,452
My life ain't sad enough!
133
00:05:49,492 --> 00:05:50,225
Ready?
134
00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:55,195
What's the plan?
135
00:05:55,234 --> 00:05:58,134
Aah, Freddie!
136
00:05:58,172 --> 00:06:00,140
Aah!
137
00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:02,244
No, who tumped 'em over?
138
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:02,980
Him.
139
00:06:03,015 --> 00:06:04,382
Me? No.
140
00:06:04,419 --> 00:06:09,287
No, no, no-- you're gonna help
me pick up every dang last one
141
00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:14,660
of these balls!
142
00:06:14,701 --> 00:06:20,905
I need to see these golf
balls being picked up.
143
00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:24,946
My mother raised me...
Interesting.
144
00:06:35,101 --> 00:06:36,768
Aww.
145
00:06:36,803 --> 00:06:40,606
Lewbert on his seventh
birthday with his new bicycle.
146
00:06:40,644 --> 00:06:44,947
Aww. He almost seems normal.
147
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:48,623
Yeah.
148
00:06:48,662 --> 00:06:49,429
Uh oh.
149
00:06:49,464 --> 00:06:51,198
What?
150
00:06:51,234 --> 00:06:57,406
Lewbert on his seventh birthday,
after being run over by a car.
151
00:06:57,446 --> 00:07:00,615
Aww.
152
00:07:00,652 --> 00:07:02,052
Carls, come look at this.
153
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:02,621
No.
154
00:07:02,656 --> 00:07:06,223
I don't feel right about looking
at Lewbert's personal items.
155
00:07:06,261 --> 00:07:09,394
Lewbert's modeling portfolio.
156
00:07:09,433 --> 00:07:11,166
Lewbert was a male model?
157
00:07:11,202 --> 00:07:13,703
Hh-mmm.
158
00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:15,775
Show me, show me, show me now.
159
00:07:15,812 --> 00:07:16,478
Open it.
160
00:07:16,512 --> 00:07:20,681
Okay, hold your sauce.
161
00:07:20,721 --> 00:07:21,620
No way.
162
00:07:21,656 --> 00:07:22,555
Medio litro.
163
00:07:22,590 --> 00:07:24,990
Oh man, ooh.
164
00:07:25,028 --> 00:07:27,528
Oh, boy.
165
00:07:27,564 --> 00:07:28,997
Look, no wart.
166
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:30,966
These must have been
taken before it grew.
167
00:07:31,002 --> 00:07:33,370
Yeah, I doubt there was a
big demand for male models
168
00:07:33,406 --> 00:07:36,575
with humongous cheek warts.
169
00:07:36,612 --> 00:07:38,246
Hey, check out this DVD.
170
00:07:38,282 --> 00:07:40,984
Happy Valentine's day
to lewbert, my love.
171
00:07:41,021 --> 00:07:43,356
That can only be from his mother.
172
00:07:43,392 --> 00:07:45,393
She's blind.
173
00:07:45,429 --> 00:07:46,062
Uh-uh.
174
00:07:46,098 --> 00:07:49,633
Look--from Marta.
175
00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:53,405
Should we play it?
176
00:07:53,444 --> 00:07:54,577
Play it!
177
00:07:54,612 --> 00:07:55,145
We're going to play it!
178
00:07:55,181 --> 00:07:56,314
We're going to play it.
179
00:07:56,349 --> 00:07:57,549
I'm doing it, okay.
180
00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:58,852
Come on, put on the DVD.
181
00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:00,587
I--it has to load.
182
00:08:00,624 --> 00:08:08,094
Okay here we go, here we go.
183
00:08:08,136 --> 00:08:10,336
Oh, my God!
184
00:08:10,373 --> 00:08:12,307
Lewbert had a girlfriend.
185
00:08:12,343 --> 00:08:15,311
And, she's human.
186
00:08:15,348 --> 00:08:19,951
And, like, not hideous.
187
00:08:19,991 --> 00:08:21,558
Lewbert's smiling.
188
00:08:21,594 --> 00:08:24,629
He actually looks not miserable.
189
00:08:24,666 --> 00:08:28,402
And wart free.
190
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:30,039
Awww.
191
00:08:40,662 --> 00:08:44,698
I can't believe that at one point in
his life lewbert was actually happy.
192
00:08:44,736 --> 00:08:47,337
Well, you know what we have to do.
193
00:08:47,374 --> 00:08:50,976
Get my mom to start
shaving her armpits?
194
00:08:51,014 --> 00:08:54,682
It's like two sweaty
jungles up in there.
195
00:08:54,719 --> 00:08:56,319
Sam.
196
00:08:56,355 --> 00:08:59,356
We gotta find this Marta Trundel woman
and hook her up with lewbert again.
197
00:08:59,393 --> 00:09:00,060
Why?
198
00:09:00,094 --> 00:09:01,394
So he'll be happy.
199
00:09:01,430 --> 00:09:04,032
Yeah, can you imagine how much
better our lives would be here
200
00:09:04,068 --> 00:09:05,736
if lewbert was happy?
201
00:09:05,773 --> 00:09:08,676
[Music]
202
00:09:08,713 --> 00:09:10,181
♪ Now my life's all good ♪
203
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,983
♪ and it's understood ♪
204
00:09:12,019 --> 00:09:13,553
♪ that I'm here ♪
205
00:09:13,589 --> 00:09:15,924
♪ to say that I know ♪
206
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,928
♪ that when I'm still smiling ♪
207
00:09:17,964 --> 00:09:19,831
♪ the sun's still shining ♪
208
00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:20,967
♪ so bright ♪
209
00:09:21,002 --> 00:09:24,737
♪ wherever I go ♪
210
00:09:24,775 --> 00:09:25,608
♪ so wipe away ♪
211
00:09:25,644 --> 00:09:28,511
♪ the tears and love ♪
212
00:09:28,547 --> 00:09:29,747
♪ everyone that you've been ♪
213
00:09:29,784 --> 00:09:33,988
♪ thinking of ♪
214
00:09:34,026 --> 00:09:37,363
♪ it feels good to feel right ♪
215
00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:41,136
♪ it feels good to feel right ♪
216
00:09:41,174 --> 00:09:46,511
♪ it feels good to feel right ♪
217
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:50,352
I really doubt balloons
would rain down.
218
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,824
But we could get hot towels.
219
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:53,026
And fancy fruits.
220
00:09:53,062 --> 00:09:55,697
Okay, but that video was
made like 10 years ago.
221
00:09:55,733 --> 00:09:58,535
For all we know, this Marta
Trundel chick could be dead.
222
00:09:58,572 --> 00:10:00,439
She looked like she was in
her 20's in that video.
223
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:01,475
How could she be dead now?
224
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:05,847
Car accident, poison taco, fork
in the neck, mauled by bears.
225
00:10:05,885 --> 00:10:06,952
She's not dead.
226
00:10:06,987 --> 00:10:08,287
I just found her splashface page.
227
00:10:08,323 --> 00:10:09,690
Look at this.
228
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:13,094
Marta Trundel, age 34,
lives in Portland, Oregon.
229
00:10:13,131 --> 00:10:14,098
Oh, and she is single.
230
00:10:14,133 --> 00:10:18,836
And check out her mood, lonely.
231
00:10:18,875 --> 00:10:21,009
Okay, I think our mission is clear.
232
00:10:21,045 --> 00:10:22,079
Yep.
233
00:10:22,114 --> 00:10:29,252
We email Marta, then buy a weed
whacker for my mom's armpits.
234
00:10:29,294 --> 00:10:30,894
Ew.
235
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:43,083
Help, help.
236
00:10:43,118 --> 00:10:44,085
I've been robbed.
237
00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:45,720
Help, my apartment was robbed.
238
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:46,922
No way, what happened?
239
00:10:46,958 --> 00:10:50,360
Well, I left my house at around 4:30,
and then I went to build-a-bra,
240
00:10:50,397 --> 00:10:52,197
where I built the most lovely bra.
241
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,235
And then I just got home, and
all my TV remotes were missing.
242
00:10:55,272 --> 00:10:57,039
Gaaahhh!, the burglar musta
snuck right past us.
243
00:10:57,075 --> 00:10:57,875
Augh!
244
00:10:57,909 --> 00:10:58,976
I just don't know what to do.
245
00:10:59,012 --> 00:11:00,846
Well, neither do I.
246
00:11:00,881 --> 00:11:02,915
I've never been burglarized before.
247
00:11:02,951 --> 00:11:03,518
Ma'am.
248
00:11:03,553 --> 00:11:06,155
What if the burglar-- ma'am!
249
00:11:06,193 --> 00:11:10,130
I know you're upset, and I
understand that you feel violated.
250
00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:11,268
I do.
251
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:14,404
But right now, the best thing
you can do, is go home,
252
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:19,278
have a glass of milk, relax,
and let us do our jobs.
253
00:11:19,317 --> 00:11:22,119
My partner and I are gonna find
the guy who took your TV remotes,
254
00:11:22,155 --> 00:11:24,692
and we're gonna take him down.
255
00:11:24,729 --> 00:11:26,530
All right.
256
00:11:26,567 --> 00:11:29,303
Thank you.
257
00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:30,607
Wow.
258
00:11:30,643 --> 00:11:31,777
That was impressive.
259
00:11:31,812 --> 00:11:34,280
What is that, a compliment?
260
00:11:34,317 --> 00:11:35,350
Maybe.
261
00:11:35,385 --> 00:11:36,452
I thought you hated me.
262
00:11:36,487 --> 00:11:38,688
I thought you hated me.
263
00:11:38,725 --> 00:11:40,726
That was then.
264
00:11:40,762 --> 00:11:47,466
Now, we're building watch partners.
265
00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,542
Building watch partners.
266
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,913
You know when I kicked the wall?
267
00:11:51,949 --> 00:11:52,582
Yeah.
268
00:11:52,617 --> 00:11:58,420
I hurt my foot bad.
269
00:11:58,461 --> 00:11:59,227
Marta?
270
00:11:59,262 --> 00:12:01,497
Okay, just wait a few more seconds.
271
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:02,500
Marta's right outside.
272
00:12:02,536 --> 00:12:03,202
Where's lewbert?
273
00:12:03,237 --> 00:12:03,970
He's in there.
274
00:12:04,006 --> 00:12:04,805
Start the music.
275
00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:05,639
Okay.
276
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:06,174
You're rolling?
277
00:12:06,209 --> 00:12:07,575
In 5...
Are you rolling?
278
00:12:07,611 --> 00:12:10,178
Yes.
279
00:12:10,215 --> 00:12:11,815
[Music]
280
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,033
Hey, lewbert!
281
00:12:22,068 --> 00:12:23,434
Lewbert!
282
00:12:23,471 --> 00:12:26,806
I'm comin'!
283
00:12:26,843 --> 00:12:30,813
♪ Of love ♪
284
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:35,821
♪ a love so hard to find ♪
285
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:37,827
♪ a love that stands ♪
286
00:12:37,864 --> 00:12:38,663
♪ through time ♪
287
00:12:38,699 --> 00:12:40,366
get out!
288
00:12:40,401 --> 00:12:42,735
Oh my God.
289
00:12:42,772 --> 00:12:46,675
No!
290
00:12:46,713 --> 00:12:47,880
Oh God.
291
00:12:47,915 --> 00:12:51,784
Get out.
292
00:12:51,823 --> 00:12:53,823
Get out.
293
00:13:02,943 --> 00:13:04,943
[Screaming]
294
00:13:20,814 --> 00:13:23,082
Marta, why don't you wait there
and I'll go talk to lewbert?
295
00:13:23,118 --> 00:13:27,454
Sure.
296
00:13:27,494 --> 00:13:28,260
Lewbert, open the door.
297
00:13:28,295 --> 00:13:29,161
Are you alone?
298
00:13:29,196 --> 00:13:30,863
Yes.
299
00:13:30,899 --> 00:13:32,967
Ooh.
300
00:13:33,003 --> 00:13:35,104
How did she find me?
301
00:13:35,140 --> 00:13:35,940
We called her.
302
00:13:35,975 --> 00:13:37,809
Oh, why?
303
00:13:37,845 --> 00:13:39,112
To make you happy!
304
00:13:39,147 --> 00:13:42,883
What makes you think that
beast would make me happy?
305
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:46,991
Well, we sorta looked through
your box of deeply personal items
306
00:13:47,029 --> 00:13:52,601
and we found a DVD that-- you what?
307
00:13:52,641 --> 00:13:56,508
You've ruined my life!
308
00:13:56,546 --> 00:13:59,981
He's really excited that you're here.
309
00:14:00,020 --> 00:14:01,687
Why?!
310
00:14:01,722 --> 00:14:03,522
You're staying at the hotel
across the street, right?
311
00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:04,025
Yes.
312
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,026
Maybe you ought to go check in.
313
00:14:05,061 --> 00:14:06,228
Oh, Freddie, take her bags.
314
00:14:06,263 --> 00:14:06,863
Sure.
315
00:14:06,898 --> 00:14:07,998
Thank you.
316
00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:09,300
No.
317
00:14:09,336 --> 00:14:10,269
Calm down.
318
00:14:10,304 --> 00:14:12,105
I ain't going out there!
319
00:14:12,142 --> 00:14:16,276
She's gone, open the door.
320
00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,948
Where's Lewb?
321
00:14:17,983 --> 00:14:19,483
In the corner, rocking.
322
00:14:19,519 --> 00:14:22,621
Argh!
323
00:14:22,658 --> 00:14:24,425
What's wrong with you?
324
00:14:24,462 --> 00:14:28,230
I mean, other than all the usual
stuff that's wrong with you?
325
00:14:28,269 --> 00:14:31,137
You little chickens don't
realize what you've done.
326
00:14:31,173 --> 00:14:34,842
That monstress nearly ruined my life.
327
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,415
But in the pictures we saw, you
and Marta looked so happy.
328
00:14:37,452 --> 00:14:40,154
That was the first two
weeks of our relationship.
329
00:14:40,190 --> 00:14:45,160
But once women get you, they change.
330
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:47,334
Have you ever noticed this wart?
331
00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,670
No, not really.
332
00:14:48,706 --> 00:14:50,640
I haven't.
333
00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:52,544
She caused it.
334
00:14:52,579 --> 00:14:56,347
It's sprouted when that
devil came into my life.
335
00:14:56,385 --> 00:14:59,421
Oh, come on-- that nice lady
did not cause your wart.
336
00:14:59,458 --> 00:15:00,425
Did too!
337
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,862
The doctors call it a stress wart.
338
00:15:03,901 --> 00:15:06,301
It's getting bigger.
339
00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:07,337
You wanna feel it?
340
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,272
Oh, no.
341
00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:09,041
No, thank you.
342
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,244
I'm a vegetarian.
343
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:14,850
Look, just get outta here!
344
00:15:14,887 --> 00:15:15,387
Come on.
345
00:15:15,422 --> 00:15:16,055
We're sorry.
346
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:17,991
We'll just tell Marta
to go back to Portland.
347
00:15:18,028 --> 00:15:21,063
No, she won't leave!
348
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,467
She's relentless.
349
00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:23,702
What do you mean?
350
00:15:23,738 --> 00:15:28,374
10 years ago, after we dated for 5
weeks, I tried to break up with her,
351
00:15:28,414 --> 00:15:30,748
but she refused.
352
00:15:30,784 --> 00:15:31,885
Then, how'd you get away?
353
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:35,322
I took her on a cruise and when
we were a mile off the coast
354
00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:39,528
of porta viar-toe, I jumped
overboard and swam to shore.
355
00:15:39,566 --> 00:15:43,070
Then I moved to Seattle, changed
my last name, and got a job
356
00:15:43,107 --> 00:15:47,711
as a stinking doorman.
357
00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:53,187
Now, that she's found me, she
will never leave me alone.
358
00:15:53,227 --> 00:15:54,994
Oh, that's silly.
359
00:15:55,030 --> 00:15:55,963
[Knock on door]
360
00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,765
Lewbert, are you in there?
361
00:15:57,802 --> 00:16:02,772
[Screaming]
362
00:16:02,811 --> 00:16:04,378
[Knock on door]
363
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:06,347
Lewbert?
364
00:16:06,384 --> 00:16:09,884
Lewbert?
365
00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:11,490
Hey hey, what's this guy?
366
00:16:11,525 --> 00:16:12,725
Hi, hey.
367
00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:15,629
Hold up there, gym bag.
368
00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:16,799
What, me?
369
00:16:16,835 --> 00:16:24,208
We'll ask the questions.
370
00:16:24,250 --> 00:16:27,384
What's in the bag?
371
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:28,688
Nothin'.
372
00:16:28,723 --> 00:16:31,356
If you'll excuse me-- hold it.
373
00:16:31,393 --> 00:16:34,361
Open the bag.
374
00:16:34,399 --> 00:16:36,399
Get him!
375
00:16:40,644 --> 00:16:42,077
Any TV remotes?
376
00:16:42,112 --> 00:16:43,780
No.
377
00:16:43,816 --> 00:16:47,751
Just a bunch of fig nooters.
378
00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:49,891
What-up with the fig nooters?
379
00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,228
Talk.
380
00:16:52,264 --> 00:16:53,197
Okay, okay.
381
00:16:53,233 --> 00:16:56,634
They're my favorite cookie and my
wife, she won't let me eat 'em.
382
00:16:56,673 --> 00:17:00,309
So four nights a week I fill that bag
with fig nooters, and I tell my wife
383
00:17:00,347 --> 00:17:02,014
that I'm going to the gym, but
I'm not going to the gym.
384
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:09,123
I'm going down to the parking garage
and eat as many fig nooters as I can.
385
00:17:09,164 --> 00:17:10,030
Please.
386
00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:11,733
Please don't tell my wife.
387
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,403
Please don't tell her.
388
00:17:13,438 --> 00:17:15,139
Please.
389
00:17:15,175 --> 00:17:16,109
It's okay, man.
390
00:17:16,144 --> 00:17:17,578
We won't tell her.
391
00:17:17,613 --> 00:17:19,914
You can take your fig nooters and go.
392
00:17:19,952 --> 00:17:22,020
Oh, thank you.
393
00:17:22,056 --> 00:17:23,057
Thank you.
394
00:17:23,092 --> 00:17:24,692
Wait!
395
00:17:28,234 --> 00:17:35,070
Give us some nooters.
396
00:17:35,110 --> 00:17:43,848
Now, get outta here, you make me sick.
397
00:17:43,891 --> 00:17:44,791
Marta's here.
398
00:17:44,826 --> 00:17:45,359
Where?
399
00:17:45,395 --> 00:17:46,261
Down in the lobby.
400
00:17:46,296 --> 00:17:47,730
She just walked into lewbert's office.
401
00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:48,265
Why?
402
00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:48,932
I don't know.
403
00:17:48,967 --> 00:17:49,833
I can't see through doors.
404
00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,102
Ow.
405
00:17:51,137 --> 00:17:54,140
Man, I'd kill to know
what's going on down there.
406
00:17:54,177 --> 00:17:58,914
Well, we do have the hidden cameras
we set up for messing with lewbert.
407
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:10,762
Yeah, but I don't know if
we should-- on screen!
408
00:18:10,808 --> 00:18:11,574
C'mon, lewbert.
409
00:18:11,608 --> 00:18:14,811
I got us front row seats to
the Seattle philharmonic.
410
00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:15,482
No.
411
00:18:15,516 --> 00:18:17,284
But we'll have such fun.
412
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:18,920
See? She's totally nice.
413
00:18:18,957 --> 00:18:20,958
I don't wanna go anywhere with you.
414
00:18:20,994 --> 00:18:23,129
You'll do what I tell you!
415
00:18:23,165 --> 00:18:24,932
[Screaming]
416
00:18:24,969 --> 00:18:27,033
And there it is.
417
00:18:27,070 --> 00:18:28,403
You need a haircut.
418
00:18:28,438 --> 00:18:29,438
A haircut?
419
00:18:29,473 --> 00:18:31,174
I don't want a haircut!
420
00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:33,244
Did I ask what you wanted?
421
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:33,880
Come here.
422
00:18:33,914 --> 00:18:34,981
No! No!
423
00:18:35,016 --> 00:18:40,919
No! Lemme go! Lemme go!
424
00:18:40,959 --> 00:18:44,026
Who gives haircuts by force?
425
00:18:44,063 --> 00:18:46,631
I don't know, but if this was a
real TV show, it'd be more popular
426
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:50,337
than anything on NBC.
427
00:18:50,376 --> 00:18:52,743
She is a monstress.
428
00:18:52,780 --> 00:18:55,380
What have we done?
429
00:19:00,928 --> 00:19:02,461
So here's the thing.
430
00:19:02,498 --> 00:19:05,399
When we called you and said
you should come to Seattle
431
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:11,240
and hook back up with lewbert,
we were wrong to do that.
432
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:12,580
Oh.
433
00:19:12,615 --> 00:19:14,949
No, well, I've been
trying to find lewbert
434
00:19:14,986 --> 00:19:17,721
for the better part of 10 years,
and I never would have found him
435
00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:19,792
without you.
436
00:19:19,828 --> 00:19:24,831
Yeah, I know.
437
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:29,506
But, I think lewbert's, you know,
changed since you guys dated.
438
00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:33,046
And now, maybe, you're not
so right for each other.
439
00:19:33,085 --> 00:19:34,384
You skunk bag!
440
00:19:34,420 --> 00:19:35,686
Huh?
441
00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:38,256
I know exactly what's going on here.
442
00:19:38,294 --> 00:19:41,363
Well, then explain it to me 'cuz--
you want me out of the picture
443
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,300
so you can have lewbert to yourself.
444
00:19:43,337 --> 00:19:50,075
Huh-- lewbert for my-- I'm fifteen.
445
00:19:50,115 --> 00:19:50,714
Hey, Chuck.
446
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:53,952
Oh.
447
00:19:53,989 --> 00:19:55,156
What's up, Spence?
448
00:19:55,191 --> 00:19:57,492
You were supposed to meet me on
the 9th floor 20 minutes ago.
449
00:19:57,530 --> 00:20:01,531
Yeah, I just have to take
out this garbage first.
450
00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:04,103
In a pillowcase?
451
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:05,607
I meant laundry.
452
00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,144
But, that's not your apartment.
453
00:20:07,179 --> 00:20:07,979
I know.
454
00:20:08,015 --> 00:20:13,552
I'm doing laundry for the people who
live here while they're in Wisconsin.
455
00:20:13,592 --> 00:20:17,028
And, who lives there?
456
00:20:17,065 --> 00:20:25,137
You know, Mr. and Mrs.
Harlensenchester.
457
00:20:25,179 --> 00:20:30,619
No, the Harlensenchesters
moved out over a year ago.
458
00:20:30,659 --> 00:20:35,260
Dang it.
459
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:37,598
TV remotes?
460
00:20:37,634 --> 00:20:38,500
Why?
461
00:20:38,536 --> 00:20:41,137
'Cuz my dad grounded me and he
won't let me watch TV for a month.
462
00:20:41,175 --> 00:20:43,742
And if I can't watch TV,
then nobody gets to.
463
00:20:43,779 --> 00:20:47,881
But, if you're the thief then why did
you join the building watch patrol?
464
00:20:47,919 --> 00:20:53,222
'Cuz no one suspects a guy in a vest.
465
00:20:53,262 --> 00:20:54,962
Well, I'm sorry, Chuck.
466
00:20:54,997 --> 00:20:57,231
But you've dishonored the vest.
467
00:20:57,268 --> 00:20:58,735
I'm calling the police.
468
00:20:58,770 --> 00:21:01,237
Then you better tell 'em you
need a need a new pear phone.
469
00:21:01,274 --> 00:21:01,839
Why?
470
00:21:01,875 --> 00:21:02,541
This is the new g5.
471
00:21:02,576 --> 00:21:08,813
What's wrong with it-- hey!
472
00:21:08,854 --> 00:21:12,322
Come back here, Chuck.
473
00:21:12,359 --> 00:21:16,895
You punks ruined my life!
474
00:21:16,934 --> 00:21:19,468
Carly's upstairs talking
to Marta right now.
475
00:21:19,505 --> 00:21:20,371
So?
476
00:21:20,407 --> 00:21:21,639
She's gonna get her to leave.
477
00:21:21,676 --> 00:21:23,376
Oh, you don't know Marta.
478
00:21:23,411 --> 00:21:24,678
Nothin' will get rid of her.
479
00:21:24,714 --> 00:21:28,350
She's a virus with bosoms.
480
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:31,590
Yeah, well, I think
Carly can handle Marta.
481
00:21:31,628 --> 00:21:34,096
Sam, Sam, Sam, Sam!
482
00:21:34,134 --> 00:21:35,435
Stop running!
483
00:21:35,470 --> 00:21:36,103
Sam!
484
00:21:36,138 --> 00:21:46,947
If you think you can come between me
and my lewbert-- uh-- thanks Sam.
485
00:21:46,991 --> 00:21:47,924
No worries.
486
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,994
I like hitting ladies with pineapples.
487
00:21:50,030 --> 00:21:50,863
Hit her with it again.
488
00:21:50,898 --> 00:21:52,732
She's still breathing!
489
00:21:52,768 --> 00:21:53,768
Hey!
490
00:21:53,804 --> 00:21:54,603
Leave me alone.
491
00:21:54,639 --> 00:21:55,305
Come here, Chuck.
492
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:55,973
You better back off.
493
00:21:56,007 --> 00:21:58,108
You're not fit to wear that vest.
494
00:21:58,145 --> 00:21:59,745
Come here, hey!
495
00:21:59,781 --> 00:22:01,081
Come back here!
496
00:22:01,116 --> 00:22:02,016
Hold it!
497
00:22:02,051 --> 00:22:04,252
Everybody, stop right now.
498
00:22:04,288 --> 00:22:05,822
Now, what's goin' on here?
499
00:22:05,858 --> 00:22:07,492
What is going on here?
500
00:22:07,529 --> 00:22:12,434
Officer, I'm Spencer shay,
building watch patrolman.
501
00:22:12,473 --> 00:22:14,108
Good for you.
502
00:22:14,143 --> 00:22:15,343
What's the problem?
503
00:22:15,379 --> 00:22:17,647
Well, you know how there's been a
bunch of burglaries in this building?
504
00:22:17,684 --> 00:22:18,184
Yeah?
505
00:22:18,218 --> 00:22:19,452
I caught the thief.
506
00:22:19,487 --> 00:22:21,087
Well, who is it?
507
00:22:21,123 --> 00:22:22,723
I'll tell you who it is.
508
00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:25,496
It's...
Me!
509
00:22:25,533 --> 00:22:26,468
What?
510
00:22:26,503 --> 00:22:27,069
Yeah.
511
00:22:27,104 --> 00:22:29,304
I stole all the TV remotes.
512
00:22:29,341 --> 00:22:30,273
Well, it's my bedtime.
513
00:22:30,308 --> 00:22:33,476
Oof.
514
00:22:33,513 --> 00:22:35,846
Lewbert, why would you
steal TV remotes?
515
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:39,953
Because I love the way they feel
against my skin in the moonlight!
516
00:22:39,991 --> 00:22:41,626
Just take me to jail!
517
00:22:41,661 --> 00:22:43,162
Away from her!
518
00:22:43,198 --> 00:22:44,832
How long will he be in jail?
519
00:22:44,867 --> 00:22:46,901
For stealing TV remotes?
520
00:22:46,938 --> 00:22:48,471
Probably 30 days.
521
00:22:48,508 --> 00:22:50,842
I can wait 30 days.
522
00:22:50,878 --> 00:22:51,912
Ugh.
523
00:22:51,947 --> 00:22:53,881
How long for slapping a cop?
524
00:22:53,917 --> 00:22:56,418
Six months.
525
00:22:56,456 --> 00:22:58,523
Oh!
526
00:22:58,526 --> 00:22:59,259
That's it.
527
00:22:59,294 --> 00:23:00,261
Let's go.
528
00:23:00,296 --> 00:23:02,664
Huh. See you, Marta.
529
00:23:02,700 --> 00:23:04,388
Yes!
530
00:23:04,438 --> 00:23:08,988
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
34890
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof