Original subtitles

[Music]

Hold still-- come on, Gibby.

Two more toes to go.

Gibby-- --let me go.

--Get a grip of yourself.

[Screaming]

All right, Gibby.

Aw, Gibby, you got toe blood on my hand.

And that proves it's a bad idea to let two blindfolded girls

clip your toenails.

Ain't that the truth.

Okay, you know what we're gonna do next?

Massage the elderly?

Not today.

Darn.

We're gonna answer questions from our viewers.

Here at iCarly, we get about 4,000 e-mails a week.

And about half of those e-mails are sent in

by one guy named Chad from Wisconsin.

What's the matter with you, Chad?

Don't be mean, Chad loves us.

Yeah, and I love pork, but you don't see me

sending 2,000 e-mails a week to Mr. Piggles.

Who's Mr. Piggles?

The spokespig for the pork of the month club.

I'm delicious.

[Growls]

Put the pig away.

Okay, so our fan Chad asked Sam, Freddie and I,

we would each draw a picture of a bunny and show 'em right here

on iCarly.

You got a lot of problems, Chad.

But we did draw bunnies just for you.

So first, let's take a look at Freddie's bunny.

Give me that camera, boy.

Here.

Hello.

Too close.

Yeah.

And now Freddie will show you his special bunny.

Here we go. Heyo.

Here, take your thing.

And now, my bunny... [applause]

Why is your bunny in jail?

He robbed a gas station.

Okay, let's take a look at Carly's bunny.

Carls... okay. This is for you, Chad.

[Booing]

Quit it. Stop laughing.

But it's horrible.

No, it's not.

It's pretty bad, kid.

Okay, we're out of time.

Well, it's only-- bye.

Later.

Sorry about my bunny.

We're all sorry.

And we're clear.

You guys are so mean.

Look at it.

How can you be related to a great artist like Spencer

and draw that?

Oh, give her a break.

Maybe her bunny was in a terrible accident.

That's it.

No one's allowed to look at my bunny ever again.

Oh, we're just playin'.

Yeah.

It's actually kind of cute.

Thanks.

It's a lot better than the first bunny I drew.

That cannot be possible.

No, it's possible.

Why is your bunny wearing fuzzy slippers?

Those are his feet.

Why does he have two bullet holes in his head?

Those are his eyes.

Well, why is he carrying a hose?

'Cause he's on his way to his part-time job

as a volunteer firefighter.

In five, four, three, two...

I know you see

somehow the world

will change for me

and be so wonderful

live life, breathe air

I know somehow

we're gonna get there

and feel so wonderful

it's all for real

I'm telling you

just how I feel

so wake up the members

of my nation

it's your time to be

there's no chance

unless you take one

it's the time to see

the brighter side

of every situation

some things are meant to be

so give your best

and leave the rest to me

leave it all to me

leave it all to me

just leave it all to me

[music]

Hey, you there, stop.

Oh, hey, Mr. Howard.

You know the rules.

You are required to wear a shirt during school hours.

Nuh-uh.

Check the student handbook.

Handbook.

Page 74.

I know where it is.

Let's see. Aha.

No tube tops, no jolly pants, no turtlenecks.

Doesn't say I got to wear a shirt, does it?

[Growls]

Carry on.

Hey, you guys got any lotion?

Uh, no.

No, not really.

You guys-- what are you doing?

Get out of my way.

Oh man, you guys aren't gonna believe this.

Your mom got a job?

Okay, let's not get crazy.

What happened?

Richard Weitz is moving to Switzerland.

Really?

Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Richard Weitz has locker 239.

Had, baby, had.

Hey, you got any lotion?

No.

So locker 239 is available?

Yup.

In the middle of a school year?

First time ever.

That's insane.

Wow, arriba.

What's the big deal about locker 239?

What?

Oh.

It's the best locker in the whole school.

Why?

First of all, it's huge.

Huge?

See, when they were building Ridgeway, some worker screwed up

and ordered a locker that's four times the size

of a regular locker.

That's huge.

And it's right next to a big window.

A locker with a view.

And the cheerleaders walk right past it

on their way to practice.

A locker with a view.

Oh, yeah.

Right, like cheerleaders wanna view the two of you.

So when do we find out who gets the locker?

This week.

Principal Franklin is gonna have some kind of contest.

Carly, Carly shay.

Yeah?

Wearing a turtleneck is a violation of school rules.

Oh, I can't wear a turtleneck, but he can be shirtless?

Check the handbook.

[Music]

Hey, kiddo.

Hey, adulto.

What goes on?

Just writing a paper for school.

Did you fix the printer?

Sure did.

And you can print wirelessly now.

Really?

Yeah, try it out.

Okay. Command p.

Aah.

Wow, and I can do that wirelessly now.

Sorry.

It's cool.

Hey, you got a minute?

Sure, what's up?

I wanna talk to you about something.

You didn't go to my room, did you?

No.

Okay.

So what are we talking about?

Um, how would you feel about giving me art lessons?

I would love to.

When did you get interested in art?

Well, see, the other day I drew a bunny and Sam and Freddie--

you drew a bunny?

Yeah, kind of.

Well, show me.

I don't want to.

Come on, show me your bunny.

Okay.

Well, say something.

I don't think I should.

I'm kidding.

Just forget it.

But I was--this isn't bad.

It's not?

No, it's bad.

But it shows that you have artistic potential.

It does?

No.

But it does show that you're capable of holding a pencil

and that's enough for me to teach you how to be a great artist.

Okay, and it's better than the first bunny I drew.

See?

He's a part-time volunteer fireman?

Thank you.

[Music]

Just look at it.

Oh, I need that locker.

Just standing next to it makes me feel like a princess.

Salami?

No, thanks, princess Puckett.

Haah, what a locker.

I know.

It makes me feel sad for lesser lockers.

I could fit a whole editing bay in there.

You could fit a body in there... If one needed to.

Testing, one, two, testing, testing Mic.

Microphone, microphone, microphone, Mic.

All right.

Students, as you know, we're having a contest to see

which lucky one of you will get locker 239.

Yeah.

Okay. Settle down.

Settle down.

Now, as you can see, this large glass tank contains

many individually wrapped fat cakes.

Fat cakes, yeah!

Now, the student who guesses closest

to the exact number of fat cakes in this tank wins locker 239.

Gibby, do you have a question?

Yes.

How many fat cakes are in that tank?

Oh, Gibby, there's so much not right about you.

All right.

Take a look at the tank, write down your name and your guess

on one of these blue cards and drop it into the decorative box.

You got a plan?

Totally.

I'm gonna measure the tank, calculate the internal volume,

then I'm gonna evaluate the mass of a single fat cake

and use linear algebra to-- I got it.

Oh, right.

You already have your guess?

Oh, that's not a guess.

I got the answer.

How?

Mama knows her fat cakes.

Come on, you can't figure it out without some kind of method.

Gibby has a method.

Gibby, what are you doing?

My thing.

[Music]

Carly, wake up.

Ahhh! What time is it?

I don't know, like 2:30 in the morning.

Are you ready to draw?

Draw?

What are you talking about?

Art.

Wait, why do you want me to draw now?

'Cause I was in my room, almost asleep,

and I remembered that I left my keys in my motorcycle.

So I grabbed a flashlight, went downstairs barefoot.

And as I was walking through the parking lot towards my bike,

I stepped in something gooey and disgusting.

What did you step in?

I don't know.

But it's thick, sticky and green.

Look how it catches the light.

So?

So I want you to draw it.

Go get your colored pens and hurry 'cause it's starting to burn.

I'm not drawing your sticky green foot at 2:30 in the morning.

But look how it glistens.

No.

Why?

'Cause you kept me up all last night lecturing me

about the history of yellow.

And then today, you made me sit in the park

and draw hobos for three hours.

I need to sleep.

Come on, just draw my foot.

I'm going to bed.

Thought you wanted to be an artist.

Good night, Spencer.

Look at my foot.

You're very weird.

I think it's starting to sizzle.

[Music]

Attention, please.

Students, attention.

I hold in my hand the name of the lucky student

who will get locker 239.

Where's Carly?

She overslept this morning.

Now, before I announce the winner... Please be Gibby.

Please be Gibby.

Please be Gibby.

I feel compelled to tell you the worst guess which was five.

I won? I won.

No, Gibby. You didn't win.

In fact, your guess was so far off, we're calling your parents

and having you tested.

Again?

Say the winner.

The winner of locker 239 is Freddie Benson.

Yes. Yeah. Up top.

Freddie's guess was exactly correct.

2,718 fat cakes.

Haaa!

In your face, you blonde headed demon.

Wait, hold on a second.

Huh?

It seems another student has also guessed the number correctly.

Oh no.

And the other winner who will share locker 239

with Freddie is Sam Puckett.

Owww.

Oh yeah, Sam's a winner.

Sam Puckett is a winner yet again, Fredwerd.

Told ya mama knows fat cakes.

[Music]

Oh yeah, thank you.

High-five, up top.

Oh yeah, you too, high-five.

Okay, okay, now put that spatula right there

next to that spatula.

No, no, that spatula.

No, that spatula.

No, the spatula next to that-- what does this have to do

with drawing?

I told you, if you learn to work with three-dimensional art,

it makes drawing two-dimensional art much easier.

Can I go do my homework?

Later.

Now tighten down that ballpeen bracket.

I don't know what a ball bean bracket looks like.

Peen.

I don't know what a ball-peen bracket looks like.

You happy?

Well.

Someone's an irritable little teenager, isn't she?

Okay. You know what?

I'm done.

What's that mean?

I don't wanna do this anymore.

I only asked you for art lessons 'cause I thought

you could teach me how to draw a bunny.

But let's just forget it.

But-- forget it.

Okay, that's cool. I get it.

What do you get?

That you think I'm a terrible person.

I didn't say that.

You didn't have to.

[Music]

Told you to tighten the ballpeen bracket.

Peen!

Hi.

Hello, Carly.

What are you sculpting?

My feelings.

Come on, could you stop being mad at me?

Why would I be mad?

Should a person be mad just 'cause his little sister

calls him a terrible teacher and refuses to tighten

a ballpeen bracket?

I'm not mad.

Ugh, when did you turn into my wife?

Oh, so now I'm a lady.

I'm going upstairs.

Wait, what is this?

Nothing.

Give it.

No. Don't-- what is this, a sketch pad?

[Screaming]

Give it to me.

Ah, get off.

Gimme it.

You're pinching my flab.

Why do you have this sketch pad?

It's not mine.

I'm just holding it for a friend.

Okay, I'm taking an art class at the community center.

Oh my God.

Spencer-- you got yourself another art teacher.

Don't be all hurt.

I didn't even want you to find out.

How would I not find out with you flaunting

your sketch pad around like it's some kind of parade float?

You yanked it out of my backpack.

And anyway, I told you I just wanted to learn

how to draw a bunny.

Well you could've learned how from me.

Ok, you know what, you're a sculptor.

What do you even know about drawing bunnies?

[Music]

What are you-- cut.

Why are you-- yeah.

Okay, that's a top-notch bunny.

[Music]

Okay, what is going on-- not now. Ooh, super solo.

Dude, what up?

What did you do to my locker?

My locker.

Our locker.

When did you turn into my wife?

Sam-- I made it into a little hangout.

You're gonna get us in trouble.

Look, check out what I did.

Random dancing.

[Music]

Sam. Sam.

Random dancing.

Sam.

Teacher.

Random-- come with me.

Aww.

[Music]

Okay, people, today we're gonna continue

our work with straight lines.

But this time, instead of using colored pencils,

we're going to be using paint.

And by the way, I was very pleased with your line drawings

from the last class, especially Carly's.

Wow, thanks.

Hi, can I help you?

Yes, I was wondering if I could sit in and observe your art class

tonight.

Uh, sure, why not?

Take a seat wherever you like.

Wonderful.

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just wanted to see what a good art teacher's like.

Please leave.

I don't want to leave.

Leave.

No.

C'mon, leave.

Obviously, I have a lot of work to do-- excuse me. Excuse me.

Excuse me!

Carly, do you know this person?

No.

Yep.

Yes.

This is my brother, Spencer.

What's up?

Spencer, if you're gonna sit in on my class, please be quiet.

Sure.

Now, I'd like you all to begin by picking a color and painting

four straight lines.

Four straight lines.

Yes, Miriam?

Should we connect the lines?

Whoa, slow down.

That's next week.

Uh.

Is there a problem?

Oh no.

No, I'm just so excited to see everyone paint

four straight lines.

Go art.

Will you be quiet?

Do you have some problem with the way I'm running my class?

Well, since you asked, how does painting straight lines

help someone learn art?

It teaches patience and control, two things you seem

to be lacking.

Oooh.

Okay, we were gonna paint lines?

Let's do that now.

Why don't you teach these people about being creative

and spontaneous and passionate?

Anyone wanna go to the park with me?

We can jump rope with hobos.

You wanna see creative, passionate painting?

Why can't my life be normal?

I'm a good person.

Let me show you how a real artist does it.

Don't you dare-- this is gonna get worse before it gets better.

[Music]

Get in here!

I can't believe you did that.

I'm never gonna be allowed back in that community center

ever again.

You're overreacting.

No.

The head of security said, "you're never allowed

"back in this community center ever again."

People forget.

They took our pictures and thumb prints.

Yeah, they're never lettin' us back in that place.

Why?

Why would you embarrass me?

I don't know.

'Cause I'm a big jerk.

And I think I got paint up my nose.

You deserve paint up your nose.

Look, if I swear not to get all psycho,

will you let me teach you how to draw?

A bunny?

Maybe you should start with a hamster.

Hug?

After you take a shower.

[Knock on door]

Ms. fielder?

May I come in?

Sure.

How'd you know where I live?

I followed your brother's paint trail.

Look, I'm really sorry-- no, you were right.

To be a real artist, you need to be spontaneous and passionate.

They don't teach you that in art school.

Maybe you could teach me.

Well, I have been told I'm an excellent teacher.

By who?

I'm sorry I painted your mouth red.

I'm sorry I painted your mouth blue.

Wanna make purple?

Please.

Okay, I don't understand art at all.

[Music]

Hey, I can't get our locker open.

I know.

I changed the combination.

Why?

I thought it might irritate you.

Okay, that's it.

I can't share this locker with you anymore.

Look, why don't we talk about this later, okay?

No, why don't we talk about this-- dude, my mom

just had laser eye surgery this afternoon

and she's coming to pick me up so I gotta get outside.

This won't take long.

I am prepared to offer you-- wait, your mom

had laser eye surgery today and she's driving a car?

I didn't say she makes good decisions.

And you're getting in the car with her?

I didn't say I make good decisions.

Now what about this offer?

Oh yeah.

I am prepared to offer you 200 bucks for your half

of the locker.

Pfft. Done.

Done?

Yeah, why?

Well, I thought you'd ask for more.

Nah.

I've been missing having a locker next to Carly,

so I was gonna give you that one anyway.

Wait.

Well, if you were gonna give me the locker anyway,

then I want my money back-- [Horn honking]

There's my mom now.

Nice drivin', mom.

Later.

[Horn honks]

[Distant screams]

[Distant tire screeching]

Goodbye, locker 239... And my money.

Come with me.

Hey.

Here's 17 reasons why iCarly.com rocks.

It's way funny.

Carly's hot.

Awesome videos.

It's free.

No charge.

It's available 24/7.

Cool pics.

Killer music.

Funny blogs.

Carly's hot.

Stop it.

I can't.

There's new stuff, new every week.

And that's 17 reasons... Why iCarly.com... rocks.

www.addic7ed.com

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