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1
00:00:02,709 --> 00:00:07,839
In five, four, three, two--
Hey, if you're looking
2
00:00:07,909 --> 00:00:11,249
at your computer screen right
now-- and you see Carly and me--
3
00:00:11,309 --> 00:00:13,879
--then, congratulations--
--You're watching "iCarly."
4
00:00:13,949 --> 00:00:16,019
However-- if you're looking into
your toilet bowl right now--
5
00:00:16,089 --> 00:00:18,519
--and you see a live
monkey speaking Spanish--
6
00:00:18,589 --> 00:00:20,019
--you're hallucinating.
7
00:00:20,089 --> 00:00:20,419
Oh.
8
00:00:20,489 --> 00:00:24,729
Oh.
9
00:00:24,789 --> 00:00:25,029
Okay.
10
00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:27,229
Lately, we've been getting some
comments here at iCarly.com--
11
00:00:27,299 --> 00:00:29,159
saying we should use the
power of "iCarly" to talk
12
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:30,929
about some serious issues.
13
00:00:30,999 --> 00:00:32,999
So here to discuss the
importance of recycling--
14
00:00:33,069 --> 00:00:34,799
say hello to the tallest
guy who lives in Carly's
15
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:37,309
apartment building, Dave.
16
00:00:37,369 --> 00:00:39,269
[Cheering]
17
00:00:39,339 --> 00:00:40,169
Yeah.
18
00:00:40,239 --> 00:00:40,779
So, Dave.
19
00:00:40,839 --> 00:00:41,639
Yeah?
20
00:00:41,639 --> 00:00:42,439
You're pretty tall.
21
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:43,409
That's right.
22
00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,949
And do you feel that
recycling is important?
23
00:00:46,009 --> 00:00:47,119
Sure.
24
00:00:47,179 --> 00:00:48,049
Well, there you have it.
25
00:00:48,119 --> 00:00:50,449
Recycling is important.
26
00:00:50,519 --> 00:00:50,889
Bye, Dave.
27
00:00:50,949 --> 00:00:51,849
See ya.
28
00:00:51,919 --> 00:00:52,919
Bye.
29
00:00:52,989 --> 00:00:53,719
He petted our heads.
30
00:00:53,789 --> 00:00:55,819
We love that.
31
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,859
Okay. Next Sam and I have a
little surprise for you guys.
32
00:00:57,929 --> 00:01:02,729
It's one of the most popular
things we do here at "iCarly."
33
00:01:02,799 --> 00:01:05,529
[Cheering]
34
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:07,499
Okay, Freddie, switch to
your little tripod camera
35
00:01:07,569 --> 00:01:09,699
and come tell the people
how it's gonna work.
36
00:01:09,769 --> 00:01:13,139
Switchin' to the b-cam.
37
00:01:13,209 --> 00:01:14,779
Hey, it's me, Freddie.
38
00:01:14,839 --> 00:01:15,309
They don't care.
39
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:17,579
Just tell 'em the bit.
40
00:01:17,649 --> 00:01:19,479
Well, a couple of my
friends in the a-v club
41
00:01:19,549 --> 00:01:23,319
figured out how to rig a muffin
basket with a confetti cannon.
42
00:01:27,289 --> 00:01:29,259
It's sad.
43
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,229
But, lucky for us, Freddie
and his a-v friends--
44
00:01:31,289 --> 00:01:35,629
I call them "dorks"-- --were
able to figure it all out.
45
00:01:35,699 --> 00:01:37,569
Please enjoy this demonstration
that I shot of the muffin basket
46
00:01:37,629 --> 00:01:40,129
with Carly's brother Spencer.
47
00:01:40,199 --> 00:01:42,299
Doodlee, doodlee, doodlee, do.
48
00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:44,069
Oh, look, a muffin basket.
49
00:01:44,139 --> 00:01:45,639
What a surprise.
50
00:01:45,709 --> 00:01:48,679
Well, I'm sure there's nothing
unusual about these muffins,
51
00:01:48,739 --> 00:01:54,779
so I'll just have one.
52
00:01:54,849 --> 00:01:56,979
Oh, no.
53
00:01:57,049 --> 00:02:00,249
I wasn't expecting that.
54
00:02:00,319 --> 00:02:01,559
And that's how it works.
55
00:02:01,619 --> 00:02:03,219
You see, the confetti blast
is powered by a small,
56
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:05,959
pressurized air canister,
which propels-- knock-knock.
57
00:02:06,029 --> 00:02:06,429
Who's there?
58
00:02:06,499 --> 00:02:09,029
Not you.
59
00:02:09,099 --> 00:02:09,499
Okay.
60
00:02:09,569 --> 00:02:11,299
And now it's time to
mess with Lewbert.
61
00:02:11,369 --> 00:02:13,329
He's gonna be so freaked
out-- and you get
62
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:14,899
to see it happen live.
63
00:02:14,969 --> 00:02:15,399
Ready, Freddie?
64
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:19,469
Goin' live to the Lewbert cam.
65
00:02:19,539 --> 00:02:21,379
There he is, downstairs in the lobby.
66
00:02:21,439 --> 00:02:24,149
The meanest, nastiest
doorman in Seattle.
67
00:02:24,209 --> 00:02:25,649
Cleaning his fingernails with a fork.
68
00:02:25,709 --> 00:02:28,719
Poor fork.
69
00:02:28,779 --> 00:02:30,949
And now, I'll use this walkie-talkie
to call our friend, mark,
70
00:02:31,019 --> 00:02:32,589
who's waiting right outside the lobby.
71
00:02:32,649 --> 00:02:36,219
Mark's a senior.
72
00:02:36,289 --> 00:02:37,489
Bring in the muffin basket.
73
00:02:37,559 --> 00:02:41,059
Copy that.
74
00:02:41,129 --> 00:02:41,759
What?
75
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:42,959
Hey, who's this for?
76
00:02:43,029 --> 00:02:46,369
Hey. Hey. Hey.
77
00:02:46,439 --> 00:02:48,969
Fudge bag.
78
00:02:49,039 --> 00:02:50,969
The muffin basket is in place.
79
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,239
Muffins?
80
00:02:52,309 --> 00:02:55,779
Well, don't mind if I do.
81
00:02:55,839 --> 00:02:58,649
And now, time for a confetti surprise.
82
00:02:58,709 --> 00:03:00,309
Hit it.
83
00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:01,979
Ah.
84
00:03:08,659 --> 00:03:10,629
We're gonna go make sure he's okay.
85
00:03:10,689 --> 00:03:14,029
So, until we're back-- --please
enjoy this video of a bunny
86
00:03:14,099 --> 00:03:14,799
eating peanut butter.
87
00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:17,229
Freddie, cue the bunny video.
88
00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:20,429
Okay.
89
00:03:20,499 --> 00:03:24,569
[Music]
90
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:30,979
In five, four, three, two-- [Music]
91
00:03:31,049 --> 00:03:33,209
I know, you see
92
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,319
somehow the world
93
00:03:34,379 --> 00:03:35,619
will change for me
94
00:03:35,679 --> 00:03:40,119
and be so wonderful
95
00:03:40,189 --> 00:03:42,519
live life, breathe air
96
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:43,459
I know somehow
97
00:03:43,529 --> 00:03:44,729
we're gonna get there
98
00:03:44,789 --> 00:03:49,559
and feel so wonderful
99
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:53,299
it's all for real
100
00:03:53,369 --> 00:03:53,939
I'm telling you
101
00:03:53,999 --> 00:03:55,599
just how I feel
102
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,409
so wake up the members
103
00:03:57,469 --> 00:03:59,309
of my nation
104
00:03:59,369 --> 00:04:01,079
it's your time to be
105
00:04:01,139 --> 00:04:02,039
there's no chance
106
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:03,979
unless you take one
107
00:04:04,049 --> 00:04:04,949
every time
108
00:04:05,009 --> 00:04:06,909
just see the brighter side
109
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,979
of every situation
110
00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,489
some things are meant to be
111
00:04:11,549 --> 00:04:12,649
so give it your best
112
00:04:12,719 --> 00:04:15,189
and leave the rest to me
113
00:04:15,259 --> 00:04:17,429
leave it all to me
114
00:04:17,489 --> 00:04:19,629
leave it all to me
115
00:04:19,699 --> 00:04:22,699
just leave it all to me
116
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:38,009
Oh my God.
117
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:38,709
What happened?
118
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:39,109
Nothing.
119
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,919
No one can prove anything.
120
00:04:41,979 --> 00:04:43,749
Our muffin basket exploded.
121
00:04:43,819 --> 00:04:45,019
And Lewbert got knocked out.
122
00:04:45,089 --> 00:04:45,449
Here, move.
123
00:04:45,519 --> 00:04:47,559
Let me see if I can
get him to come to.
124
00:04:47,619 --> 00:04:48,859
Lewbert.
125
00:04:48,919 --> 00:04:50,859
Hey, Lewbert.
126
00:04:50,929 --> 00:04:52,659
Talk to me, Lewb.
127
00:04:52,729 --> 00:04:56,259
Can you speak? Lewbert.
128
00:04:56,329 --> 00:04:59,769
Aauggh!
129
00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,399
Uh-oh. His wart.
130
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:03,539
What about his wart?
131
00:05:03,609 --> 00:05:04,869
Where is it?
132
00:05:04,939 --> 00:05:06,409
Whoa, it's gone.
133
00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:06,969
Oh, man.
134
00:05:07,039 --> 00:05:12,249
We blew his wart off.
135
00:05:12,309 --> 00:05:13,609
How'd this happen?
136
00:05:13,679 --> 00:05:16,749
Well, we were filming our
Web show and-- he fell.
137
00:05:16,819 --> 00:05:18,289
He just fell right down.
138
00:05:18,349 --> 00:05:20,489
Clumsy Lewbert.
139
00:05:20,559 --> 00:05:23,159
He fell, but what happened--
this is no time for questions.
140
00:05:23,229 --> 00:05:25,159
Just fix him.
141
00:05:25,229 --> 00:05:27,529
Aauggh!
142
00:05:27,599 --> 00:05:28,329
How is he?
143
00:05:28,399 --> 00:05:31,229
He might have some broken
bones, possibly a concussion.
144
00:05:31,299 --> 00:05:35,539
And I'm no dentist, but I think
he might have gum disease.
145
00:05:35,599 --> 00:05:38,939
Hey, let's get him up on the gurney.
146
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,779
Big guy.
147
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:43,439
Ah.
148
00:05:47,419 --> 00:05:49,719
Wait. My wart.
149
00:05:49,789 --> 00:05:51,049
Where's my wart?
150
00:05:51,119 --> 00:05:52,149
Aaaaah!
151
00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:52,919
What?
152
00:05:52,989 --> 00:05:54,119
It's on your shoe.
153
00:05:54,189 --> 00:05:55,319
Oh.
154
00:05:55,389 --> 00:05:56,719
Aaaaah!
155
00:05:56,789 --> 00:05:58,859
I want my wart.
156
00:05:58,929 --> 00:06:00,129
He wants his wart.
157
00:06:00,199 --> 00:06:01,129
Hold still. Hold still.
158
00:06:01,199 --> 00:06:04,129
I'll get it.
159
00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:07,129
Oh. Here.
160
00:06:07,199 --> 00:06:08,699
Thanks.
161
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,039
We better get this wart on ice.
162
00:06:10,109 --> 00:06:14,609
Right.
163
00:06:14,679 --> 00:06:16,779
We'll get your shoe
back as soon-- keep it.
164
00:06:16,849 --> 00:06:20,979
[Music]
165
00:06:21,049 --> 00:06:22,479
Right.
166
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,519
Yeah, my brother told
me he talked to you.
167
00:06:24,589 --> 00:06:27,489
Thank you so much for calling.
168
00:06:27,559 --> 00:06:29,259
Lewbert's gonna be okay.
169
00:06:29,319 --> 00:06:33,189
Well, not okay but at least
back to the way he was before.
170
00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:34,059
Good.
171
00:06:34,129 --> 00:06:34,429
Yeah.
172
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:36,399
We could have been in so much trouble.
173
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:39,229
Can you ever think about
anyone but yourself?
174
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:42,399
I can, but I choose not to.
175
00:06:42,469 --> 00:06:43,769
Carly, come look at this.
176
00:06:43,839 --> 00:06:44,369
What?
177
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:45,469
It's the video of the explosion.
178
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,409
And when you go slow-motion,
you can totally see
179
00:06:47,479 --> 00:06:49,509
Lewbert's wart fly right off his face.
180
00:06:49,579 --> 00:06:51,009
Eww, that's disgusting.
181
00:06:51,079 --> 00:06:51,549
You wanna see it?
182
00:06:51,609 --> 00:06:54,049
Full screen, please.
183
00:06:54,119 --> 00:06:56,919
Whoa. Oh.
184
00:06:56,989 --> 00:06:57,649
Uh-oh.
185
00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:59,949
What up, giblets?
186
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:00,349
Oh.
187
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:01,759
Is that Lewbert's doorman jacket?
188
00:07:01,819 --> 00:07:02,119
Yeah.
189
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,659
It's cute, right?
190
00:07:04,729 --> 00:07:05,759
Uh.
191
00:07:05,829 --> 00:07:06,329
Well.
192
00:07:06,389 --> 00:07:09,259
See, I volunteered to cover the
front desk while he's laid up.
193
00:07:09,329 --> 00:07:10,869
The doctor says he's gonna
need to stay in bed
194
00:07:10,929 --> 00:07:11,969
for a least a week.
195
00:07:12,029 --> 00:07:14,339
Oh. I feel terrible.
196
00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:16,399
You know we didn't mean to hurt him.
197
00:07:16,469 --> 00:07:18,609
We just wanted to scare him
enough to make him pee a little.
198
00:07:18,669 --> 00:07:19,309
Yeah.
199
00:07:19,369 --> 00:07:20,879
I know you didn't mean to blow him up.
200
00:07:20,939 --> 00:07:23,679
But since you did, I want you
guys to check in on him,
201
00:07:23,749 --> 00:07:24,879
like three or four times a day.
202
00:07:24,949 --> 00:07:27,279
Get him anything he needs
till he's back on his feet.
203
00:07:27,349 --> 00:07:29,279
Helping take care of the man
is the least we can do.
204
00:07:29,349 --> 00:07:30,149
No kidding.
205
00:07:30,219 --> 00:07:30,619
Oh.
206
00:07:30,689 --> 00:07:31,049
All right.
207
00:07:31,119 --> 00:07:32,019
I got to get going.
208
00:07:32,089 --> 00:07:33,619
Do you want me to bring
you lunch later?
209
00:07:33,689 --> 00:07:33,919
No.
210
00:07:33,989 --> 00:07:44,829
I got ribs left over from last night.
211
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:45,999
You ate my ribs?
212
00:07:46,069 --> 00:07:48,869
I made the bones into a necklace.
213
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:50,539
[Music]
214
00:08:02,179 --> 00:08:03,949
Hi, Lewbert.
215
00:08:04,019 --> 00:08:08,889
We just came down-- get out.
216
00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:09,559
Okay, bye.
217
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:13,529
Wait.
218
00:08:13,599 --> 00:08:15,299
We brought you some food.
219
00:08:15,359 --> 00:08:16,099
I don't eat nothin'
220
00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:18,869
'less it's dead.
221
00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:22,239
Okay, I guess that's better
than the other way around.
222
00:08:22,299 --> 00:08:25,509
Oh, and, um, we got you these flowers.
223
00:08:25,569 --> 00:08:28,639
Oh, hey, what'd you
spend on these, 7.95?
224
00:08:28,709 --> 00:08:33,249
Whoopty-doo.
225
00:08:33,319 --> 00:08:35,249
I see they reattached your wart.
226
00:08:35,319 --> 00:08:36,149
Yeah.
227
00:08:36,219 --> 00:08:38,289
Well, I don't want any
of you touchin' it.
228
00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:38,719
No problem.
229
00:08:38,789 --> 00:08:39,049
Eww.
230
00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:41,119
We won't.
231
00:08:41,189 --> 00:08:45,789
Well, if there's nothing else
you need-- fluff my pillow.
232
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,929
Oh, sure.
233
00:08:47,999 --> 00:08:50,599
Here, let me help you sit-- ah.
I can sit up.
234
00:08:50,669 --> 00:08:52,669
Just fluff.
235
00:08:59,069 --> 00:09:00,039
There.
236
00:09:00,109 --> 00:09:00,909
How's that?
237
00:09:00,979 --> 00:09:02,239
Feed my lizard.
238
00:09:02,309 --> 00:09:02,679
Huh?
239
00:09:02,739 --> 00:09:03,009
What?
240
00:09:03,079 --> 00:09:03,809
Huh?
241
00:09:03,879 --> 00:09:04,779
My lizard.
242
00:09:04,849 --> 00:09:07,449
Feed him some bugs.
243
00:09:16,419 --> 00:09:17,689
Where do I get the bugs?
244
00:09:17,759 --> 00:09:21,059
I usually just catch 'em
in the corner over there.
245
00:09:21,129 --> 00:09:22,959
If you put some honey in
the palm of your hand,
246
00:09:23,029 --> 00:09:26,329
they'll crawl right up on you.
247
00:09:26,399 --> 00:09:27,399
Where do I get the honey?
248
00:09:27,469 --> 00:09:29,139
Man, I got to do everything?
249
00:09:29,199 --> 00:09:30,039
Okay, calm down.
250
00:09:30,109 --> 00:09:31,509
He'll get some bugs for your lizard.
251
00:09:31,569 --> 00:09:33,069
Anything else you need?
252
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,679
Yeah. My foot itches.
253
00:09:34,739 --> 00:09:36,739
Here's a fork.
254
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:59,329
Oh, yeah, ah.
255
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:03,369
Harder.
256
00:10:03,439 --> 00:10:05,039
[Music]
257
00:10:18,889 --> 00:10:20,119
[Ding]
258
00:10:20,189 --> 00:10:21,919
Sweet.
259
00:10:21,989 --> 00:10:23,589
Oh.
260
00:10:29,699 --> 00:10:31,629
Hello, Spencer.
261
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:33,799
Have you heard how Lewbert's feeling?
262
00:10:33,869 --> 00:10:35,139
Yeah, he's doing okay.
263
00:10:35,199 --> 00:10:36,939
I've got the kids
keeping an eye on him.
264
00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:38,939
Oh, I think it's very nice
of you to cover for Lewbert
265
00:10:39,009 --> 00:10:41,039
till he's feeling better.
266
00:10:41,109 --> 00:10:44,279
Why is the counter wet and sticky?
267
00:10:44,349 --> 00:10:48,219
Oh, well, I have-- "wet
and sticky is very icky.
268
00:10:48,279 --> 00:10:52,319
"Sticky and wet
makes mommy upset."
269
00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:55,519
I don't know how to respond to that.
270
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:57,689
Breaker one-nine, breaker
one-nine, come back.
271
00:10:57,759 --> 00:10:58,489
What is that?
272
00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:00,029
Oh, it's an old Cb radio.
273
00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:02,029
I found it back there
with Lewbert's stuff.
274
00:11:02,099 --> 00:11:03,829
I just plugged it in, it works great.
275
00:11:03,899 --> 00:11:06,599
A Cb radio, like the kind
that truck drivers use
276
00:11:06,669 --> 00:11:07,899
to talk to each other?
277
00:11:07,969 --> 00:11:09,039
Yeah, you wanna try it?
278
00:11:09,099 --> 00:11:09,339
No.
279
00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:10,369
Oh, come on, it's really fun.
280
00:11:10,439 --> 00:11:18,949
All you do is- I don't like
wireless transceivers.
281
00:11:19,009 --> 00:11:23,019
Hello, all you truckers out
there, this is the doorman,
282
00:11:23,079 --> 00:11:25,189
looking for someone to jaw with.
283
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:26,819
Hey, hey, hey there, doorman.
284
00:11:26,889 --> 00:11:27,919
You got rockin' Rodney on this end.
285
00:11:27,989 --> 00:11:29,519
Come on back.
286
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:30,989
Hey there, rockin' Rodney.
287
00:11:31,059 --> 00:11:37,999
I'm new to the CB radio
world and I was just-- how?
288
00:11:38,069 --> 00:11:42,099
[Music]
289
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:43,669
Okay.
290
00:11:43,739 --> 00:11:47,339
Your place is all clean-- Er.
291
00:11:47,409 --> 00:11:50,409
I want some tomato juice.
292
00:11:50,479 --> 00:11:51,509
Hey.
293
00:11:51,579 --> 00:11:53,609
We've done everything you've
asked us the past five days.
294
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,349
You might try saying "thanks" once.
295
00:11:55,419 --> 00:11:57,649
You didn't install an air conditioner.
296
00:11:57,719 --> 00:11:59,519
We don't have enough money to
buy you an air conditioner.
297
00:11:59,589 --> 00:12:01,959
You're just lucky Freddie's putting
up that ceiling fan for you.
298
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:05,429
I'd feel lucky if I were
drinking some tomato juice.
299
00:12:05,489 --> 00:12:07,159
I'll get you some tomato juice.
300
00:12:07,229 --> 00:12:10,459
Hallelujah.
301
00:12:10,529 --> 00:12:13,669
Sam, hand me my needle-nose pliers.
302
00:12:13,729 --> 00:12:15,269
Here you go.
303
00:12:15,339 --> 00:12:17,039
This ain't tomato juice.
304
00:12:17,099 --> 00:12:18,969
Then what is it?
305
00:12:19,039 --> 00:12:21,439
Nothin'.
306
00:12:21,509 --> 00:12:25,549
I got to get some rest.
307
00:12:25,609 --> 00:12:28,149
Okay.
308
00:12:28,219 --> 00:12:30,279
Here's the remote that
controls the fan.
309
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,689
Yeah.
310
00:12:31,749 --> 00:12:33,289
Come on, let's get out of here.
311
00:12:33,349 --> 00:12:35,259
Just call us if you
need anything else.
312
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,989
I'm hot.
313
00:12:37,059 --> 00:12:38,529
So turn on the fan.
314
00:12:38,589 --> 00:12:39,329
What button?
315
00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:40,259
The green one.
316
00:12:40,329 --> 00:12:55,079
I'm pressing the green one and
nothing happens-- arrrrrr.
317
00:12:56,639 --> 00:12:57,779
Bring him in.
318
00:12:57,839 --> 00:13:00,409
Oh, easy. Easy.
319
00:13:00,479 --> 00:13:01,249
We're almost there.
320
00:13:01,309 --> 00:13:01,979
Just a couple more steps.
321
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:02,649
All right.
322
00:13:02,719 --> 00:13:05,179
Support my left side.
323
00:13:05,249 --> 00:13:06,889
I am trying.
324
00:13:06,949 --> 00:13:08,389
Mom, mom, I need you to go around.
325
00:13:08,449 --> 00:13:08,719
Here.
326
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:10,789
And get him down from there.
327
00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:15,259
Why are you so short?
328
00:13:15,329 --> 00:13:20,169
This place is disgusting.
329
00:13:20,229 --> 00:13:22,169
Welcome back from the hospital.
330
00:13:22,239 --> 00:13:28,000
Don't you mean welcome back
from the hospital again?
331
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:28,330
Come on.
332
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,300
We didn't mean to drop
a ceiling fan on you.
333
00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,930
I thought the brackets were secure.
334
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
Oh, you thought.
335
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:34,600
Well, maybe you should have
checked twice. Oh, yeah.
336
00:13:34,670 --> 00:13:35,940
Yeah, we thought we've
checked it twice.
337
00:13:36,010 --> 00:13:37,110
We got a wire up-- you--wait.
338
00:13:37,170 --> 00:13:37,870
--On top of you.
339
00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:38,370
Hey, hey, hey.
340
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:42,510
Would you children please stop
upsetting this injured man.
341
00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:46,680
Move away. Shoo.
342
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,450
Oh, you poor thing.
343
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:49,950
You look awful.
344
00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:52,590
He looked awful before the accident.
345
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:53,990
Sam.
346
00:13:54,060 --> 00:13:56,090
I feel worse than I look.
347
00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,890
Well, that's because your leg
isn't properly elevated.
348
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,000
Oh, no, no, no, no.
349
00:14:01,060 --> 00:14:04,700
Ohh.
350
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:06,270
Thank you, Mrs. Benson.
351
00:14:06,340 --> 00:14:08,440
Oh, please, call me Marissa.
352
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,300
Marissa.
353
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:09,810
Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:09,870 --> 00:14:10,870
That's a pretty name.
355
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:12,640
Oh, thank you.
356
00:14:12,710 --> 00:14:13,840
It's French.
357
00:14:13,910 --> 00:14:15,140
It means honeysuckle.
358
00:14:15,210 --> 00:14:19,720
Oh, I like honeysuckle.
359
00:14:19,780 --> 00:14:21,550
Look, why don't you kids run along.
360
00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:23,020
I'll look after Lewbert.
361
00:14:23,090 --> 00:14:28,760
Oh, are you sure 'cause we-- bye.
362
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,730
Don't you think we
should stay and help?
363
00:14:30,790 --> 00:14:33,130
Marissa, I was wondering.
364
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,060
Would you mind shaving my back?
365
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:38,230
Oh, I would be delighted
to shave your back.
366
00:14:38,300 --> 00:14:39,400
Oh.
367
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:40,670
Well, bye.
368
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:44,740
[Music]
369
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,810
Breaker, breaker, this is the
doorman, looking for some
370
00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:48,440
Cb convo-sation.
371
00:14:48,510 --> 00:14:51,680
Anybody out there pickin' up what
I'm puttin' out, come on back.
372
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:53,120
Hey there, doorman.
373
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,680
You got porkchop on this end.
374
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:55,650
Come on.
375
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,090
Well, hey there, porkchop.
376
00:14:57,150 --> 00:14:58,150
How you doin'?
377
00:14:58,220 --> 00:14:59,890
Doin' just fine.
378
00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,190
Are you a trucker?
379
00:15:02,260 --> 00:15:03,090
One second.
380
00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,130
Hey, hey, listen.
381
00:15:04,190 --> 00:15:06,530
You're really not supposed to do
that here in the lobby, okay?
382
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:08,200
Thanks.
383
00:15:11,630 --> 00:15:12,430
Sorry there, porkchop.
384
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,440
Anyway, no, I'm not a trucker
but here's a joke for you.
385
00:15:15,510 --> 00:15:19,470
What's the difference between
roast beef and pea soup?
386
00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:20,940
Man, I don't know.
387
00:15:21,010 --> 00:15:22,110
Come on.
388
00:15:22,180 --> 00:15:31,790
Anyone can roast beef but
nobody can pea soup.
389
00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:33,390
Thank you.
390
00:15:33,460 --> 00:15:36,630
Hey, kid, seriously, you
can't do that in here.
391
00:15:36,690 --> 00:15:37,830
Take it outside, okay?
392
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:39,590
Make me.
393
00:15:39,660 --> 00:15:40,260
Hey.
394
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:45,400
Look, doorman, this channel is
for truckers only so get off.
395
00:15:45,470 --> 00:15:48,740
No. This is a free country and I
can talk on here all I wanna.
396
00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:50,810
Boy, you don't wanna
mess with the porkchop.
397
00:15:50,870 --> 00:15:51,570
Quit that.
398
00:15:51,640 --> 00:15:52,470
What if I don't?
399
00:15:52,540 --> 00:15:53,340
Hey, hey.
400
00:15:53,410 --> 00:15:54,610
What's goin' on?
401
00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,980
Is he your son?
402
00:15:56,050 --> 00:15:56,550
Yeah.
403
00:15:56,610 --> 00:15:58,680
Well, he's been playing
racquetball in here
404
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,950
even though I keep telling
him to knock it off.
405
00:16:01,020 --> 00:16:01,950
That's it.
406
00:16:02,020 --> 00:16:02,850
You're grounded.
407
00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,220
Yeah.
408
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:04,690
Hey, hey.
409
00:16:04,750 --> 00:16:06,190
Hey, get off of me.
410
00:16:06,260 --> 00:16:06,720
Get him off.
411
00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:10,290
Get him off of me.
412
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,790
I'll get you.
413
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:14,760
Have fun locked in your room.
414
00:16:14,830 --> 00:16:18,900
[Music]
415
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,100
Morning, girls.
416
00:16:20,170 --> 00:16:22,000
Check me out.
417
00:16:22,070 --> 00:16:23,070
What?
418
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,910
No belt.
419
00:16:24,970 --> 00:16:27,780
And look--open-toed shoes.
420
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,310
Wow, you're an animal.
421
00:16:29,380 --> 00:16:30,680
Yeah.
422
00:16:30,750 --> 00:16:32,080
I thought your mom always
makes you wear a belt
423
00:16:32,150 --> 00:16:34,280
and never lets you
wear open-toed shoes.
424
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,020
Yeah, but since she's been
takin' care of Lewbert,
425
00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:38,390
I can pretty much do whatever I want.
426
00:16:38,450 --> 00:16:42,260
Last night, I slept with my socks on.
427
00:16:42,330 --> 00:16:43,360
So?
428
00:16:43,430 --> 00:16:46,330
Just my socks.
429
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:52,300
Oh. Uhh. Augh.
430
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:54,070
Okay, but doesn't it bug you
that your mom and Lewbert
431
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:55,600
are practically dating?
432
00:16:55,670 --> 00:16:56,610
They're not dating.
433
00:16:56,670 --> 00:16:58,410
She's just being a good nurse.
434
00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:00,380
Oh, wake up and smell
the boyfriend, Benson.
435
00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:02,680
She's with him all the time.
436
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:03,850
I bet they've kissed.
437
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:05,050
They have not.
438
00:17:05,110 --> 00:17:07,050
If his mom marries Lewbert,
does that mean Freddie
439
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:10,820
will have to kiss his wart good night?
440
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:13,220
My mom will never marry Lewbert.
441
00:17:13,290 --> 00:17:13,860
Okay.
442
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,690
Whatever you say.
443
00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:22,230
Hey, you know, your mom was right,
you really should wear a belt.
444
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:22,560
Why?
445
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:25,500
So people can't do this.
446
00:17:25,570 --> 00:17:30,570
[Laughter]
447
00:17:30,640 --> 00:17:34,240
Thanks.
448
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:36,750
Hey, hey, this is the doorman.
449
00:17:36,810 --> 00:17:38,280
Who's out there in Cb radio land?
450
00:17:38,350 --> 00:17:40,980
Come on back to me.
451
00:17:41,050 --> 00:17:43,190
Hey, you got the
sledgehammer, come back.
452
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,490
Okay, mister sledgehammer,
what do you get when you cross
453
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:48,220
a rooster with a small dog?
454
00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:49,160
Huh?
455
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:52,890
A cocka-poodle-doo.
456
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:55,560
Look, buddy, this channel
ain't no place for comedians.
457
00:17:55,630 --> 00:17:57,300
Is too.
458
00:17:57,370 --> 00:17:59,030
Hey, sledgehammer, I
think you're talkin'
459
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,100
to the same old boy that was gettin'
on my nerves the other day.
460
00:18:02,170 --> 00:18:04,710
Oh, porkchop.
461
00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:06,880
So nice to hear your voice again.
462
00:18:06,940 --> 00:18:08,380
Hey, what you been doin'?
463
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:12,710
Diggin' bugs outta your wife's ear?
464
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:13,280
That tears it.
465
00:18:13,350 --> 00:18:14,680
Where are you?
466
00:18:14,750 --> 00:18:15,850
You'll never find out.
467
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,520
You better hope we don't.
468
00:18:17,590 --> 00:18:20,790
Hey, porkchop and sledgehammer,
if you guys ever get married,
469
00:18:20,860 --> 00:18:26,500
will your last name be
sledgechop or porkhammer?
470
00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:27,600
[Phone rings]
471
00:18:27,660 --> 00:18:28,230
Oops.
472
00:18:28,300 --> 00:18:30,270
The doorman will be right back.
473
00:18:30,330 --> 00:18:34,770
[Phone ringing]
474
00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,840
Hey, sledgehammer and porkchop,
if you wanna find the doorman,
475
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:39,540
he works in an apartment
building on the West Side
476
00:18:39,610 --> 00:18:40,380
of Kennedy square.
477
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:41,810
Chuck, put that down.
478
00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:44,650
Yes, daddy.
479
00:18:44,710 --> 00:18:48,420
[Music]
480
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,820
You know, this is the
best food I've had
481
00:18:49,890 --> 00:18:52,850
since I was in the hospital.
482
00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,790
Oh, thank you, Lewbert.
483
00:18:55,860 --> 00:18:57,460
More fish loaf?
484
00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:59,900
Well, I was kinda hopin'
485
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:04,400
we could maybe get right to dessert?
486
00:19:04,470 --> 00:19:06,940
But I didn't make any dessert.
487
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,140
I don't know.
488
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:13,740
I'm lookin' at something pretty sweet.
489
00:19:13,810 --> 00:19:19,410
Oh, Lewb.
490
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,820
To us.
491
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,480
[Music]
492
00:19:29,230 --> 00:19:32,260
Put the bows down.
493
00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:32,960
What's up?
494
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,130
Why do we have to--
you guys were right.
495
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:34,700
You were right, okay?
496
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:37,300
My mom--she likes Lewbert.
497
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:39,940
Duuuh!
498
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,400
Oh, well, maybe she--
no jokes, Puckett.
499
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:45,940
This is serious chizz.
500
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:47,640
Okay, calm down.
501
00:19:47,710 --> 00:19:49,610
I can't.
502
00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:52,810
How can I calm down when there's
a possibility that Lewbert
503
00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:56,080
could become my daddy?
504
00:19:56,150 --> 00:19:58,590
Dude, we can fix this chizz.
505
00:19:58,650 --> 00:20:00,020
How?
506
00:20:00,090 --> 00:20:01,420
Okay, think.
507
00:20:01,490 --> 00:20:02,920
What's the most important thing
in the world to your mom?
508
00:20:02,990 --> 00:20:06,390
Um, I don't know. Soap?
509
00:20:06,460 --> 00:20:07,730
You.
510
00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:08,660
You're her whole world.
511
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:09,430
Was.
512
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,870
Now she's spending every
minute she can with Lewbert.
513
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:14,070
Yes, because he got
hurt which brought out
514
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,700
her motherly instincts.
515
00:20:15,770 --> 00:20:16,740
So?
516
00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:23,780
So what if you got hurt?
517
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:26,050
Yeah.
518
00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,580
What?
519
00:20:27,650 --> 00:20:32,250
[Music]
520
00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,060
And I wrote down all your
phone messages in here,
521
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,690
which I organized into three piles.
522
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:40,600
From your mother, death
threats, and death threats
523
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:43,230
from your mother.
524
00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:45,670
And here are your keys.
525
00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:47,770
What's my Cb radio doin' there?
526
00:20:47,840 --> 00:20:54,680
Oh, I found it in the
back so I was-- get out.
527
00:20:54,740 --> 00:20:58,550
There you are, like a Captain
at the helm of his ship.
528
00:20:58,610 --> 00:21:00,780
Oh, Marissa, stop.
529
00:21:00,850 --> 00:21:04,050
Here, let me rub some
cream on your wart.
530
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,490
Oh, that'd be nice.
531
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:07,590
Mom, are you down here?
532
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,990
I-- aaaaaah!
533
00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,960
Freddie--Freddie, oh, my baby.
534
00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:13,160
Are you all right?
535
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,700
Oh, no.
536
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:18,070
Hey, don't get any blood on my floor.
537
00:21:18,130 --> 00:21:19,000
My son is hurt.
538
00:21:19,070 --> 00:21:20,470
What's wrong with you?
539
00:21:20,540 --> 00:21:24,510
For one thing, I got a wart
that needs cream on it.
540
00:21:24,570 --> 00:21:26,070
Freddie may have a concussion.
541
00:21:26,140 --> 00:21:27,240
Oh, come on.
542
00:21:27,310 --> 00:21:28,880
We don't have time for this.
543
00:21:28,940 --> 00:21:31,510
Our dinner reservations
are in 20 minutes.
544
00:21:31,580 --> 00:21:34,120
Well, you'll just have
to go without me.
545
00:21:34,180 --> 00:21:37,390
Yaaaaagghh!
546
00:21:37,450 --> 00:21:37,950
Freddie.
547
00:21:38,020 --> 00:21:38,490
Oh my gosh.
548
00:21:38,550 --> 00:21:39,550
Are you okay?
549
00:21:39,620 --> 00:21:40,660
What happened?
550
00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:43,260
He fell down the stairs
probably because of these
551
00:21:43,330 --> 00:21:44,590
open-toed shoes.
552
00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:46,060
Oh, you're probably right, oh.
553
00:21:46,130 --> 00:21:48,530
Girls, help me get him to the
elevator and up to the apartment
554
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,830
so I can take care of him.
555
00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:50,330
Oh, OK.
556
00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:50,930
We got him.
557
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,840
What about me?
558
00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:57,770
I am sorry, Lewbert, but
you are a mean, nasty man.
559
00:21:57,840 --> 00:22:03,040
I cured your body but I can't
cure your hideous personality.
560
00:22:03,110 --> 00:22:04,810
Wait.
561
00:22:04,880 --> 00:22:08,050
Can I at least get the
recipe for your fish loaf?
562
00:22:08,120 --> 00:22:09,280
Come with me, Freddie.
563
00:22:09,350 --> 00:22:12,120
Oh.
564
00:22:12,190 --> 00:22:12,920
Wait.
565
00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:17,690
Who's gonna rub cream on my wart?
566
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:19,830
Would either of you girls-- gross.
567
00:22:19,900 --> 00:22:21,030
Eww.
568
00:22:21,100 --> 00:22:23,970
Oh, whatever.
569
00:22:24,030 --> 00:22:25,630
[Music]
570
00:22:29,340 --> 00:22:30,940
Stay.
571
00:22:36,580 --> 00:22:37,310
Hey.
572
00:22:37,380 --> 00:22:40,780
Who are you clowns?
573
00:22:40,850 --> 00:22:43,790
Porkchop.
574
00:22:43,850 --> 00:22:45,150
You the doorman?
575
00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:46,520
Yeah, I'm the doorman.
576
00:22:46,590 --> 00:22:49,360
What of it?
577
00:22:49,430 --> 00:22:51,360
Oh, hey, hey, what's
goin' on here, fellas?
578
00:22:51,361 --> 00:23:01,361
579
00:23:01,411 --> 00:23:05,961
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