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1
00:00:01,241 --> 00:00:02,876
You know, I'm just gonna say it.
2
00:00:02,901 --> 00:00:04,476
The new art teacher is a hottie.
3
00:00:04,507 --> 00:00:07,277
Normally, I would never
objectify a teacher,
4
00:00:07,319 --> 00:00:08,553
but... damn.
5
00:00:08,586 --> 00:00:11,223
Oh, man. That rack
really defies gravity.
6
00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:13,059
Whose rack defies gravity?
7
00:00:13,091 --> 00:00:14,127
Hey, Graham, look over there!
8
00:00:14,159 --> 00:00:16,228
You know, the key
to uncomfortable questions
9
00:00:16,261 --> 00:00:17,561
is distraction.
10
00:00:18,664 --> 00:00:20,999
That child screaming
is just a happy coincidence.
11
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:22,668
Oh, my God. She's gonna fall!
12
00:00:37,783 --> 00:00:39,152
It's gonna be okay.
13
00:00:39,185 --> 00:00:40,853
Ow!
14
00:00:40,886 --> 00:00:42,255
A bee stung me!
15
00:00:47,393 --> 00:00:48,761
It's gonna be okay.
16
00:00:48,794 --> 00:00:51,164
Thank y...
17
00:01:02,887 --> 00:01:04,710
It's gonna be... okay.
18
00:01:04,743 --> 00:01:05,845
Please.
19
00:01:10,216 --> 00:01:12,025
Thanks.
20
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:14,219
- Oh, my God.
- That was amazing.
21
00:01:14,244 --> 00:01:17,322
- What just happened?
- Will is the new hot person.
22
00:01:17,356 --> 00:01:20,325
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
23
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:24,896
Thank goodness I've done
all those laundry squats.
24
00:01:24,929 --> 00:01:27,366
You know?
25
00:01:27,398 --> 00:01:29,701
I know I'm supposed to be
at the office by now,
26
00:01:29,735 --> 00:01:32,038
but I just can't
take my eyes off of this.
27
00:01:32,071 --> 00:01:33,506
Look at 'em swarm, Miggy.
28
00:01:33,538 --> 00:01:36,208
Like wasps on a soda can.
29
00:01:36,241 --> 00:01:38,877
Man, is it me, or am I getting
more attention than usual?
30
00:01:38,910 --> 00:01:40,378
You've got the glow.
31
00:01:40,411 --> 00:01:42,981
Your little show of lifesaving heroics
32
00:01:43,015 --> 00:01:45,760
has wrapped you in a cloak
of sexual irresistibility.
33
00:01:45,785 --> 00:01:48,221
Mm. That'll make
for a nice change of pace.
34
00:01:48,255 --> 00:01:50,256
Wait. Does this mean you'll
finally watch sports with me?
35
00:01:50,290 --> 00:01:52,493
- O-Okay, look. Pump the brakes.
- Okay.
36
00:01:52,526 --> 00:01:55,429
The glow is powerful, yet fleeting.
37
00:01:55,461 --> 00:01:57,264
When it's gone, it's gone.
38
00:01:57,297 --> 00:01:59,700
Damn, Douglas, how you know
so much about sex cloaks?
39
00:02:00,858 --> 00:02:03,828
It was Labor Day, 1984.
40
00:02:04,821 --> 00:02:07,941
I had just bought an outfit
off the mannequin at Penney's.
41
00:02:07,973 --> 00:02:11,110
Jeans so white, you'd go blind
just looking at them.
42
00:02:11,144 --> 00:02:13,614
And, boy, did they fit.
43
00:02:13,647 --> 00:02:14,815
Everyone wanted a piece.
44
00:02:14,847 --> 00:02:16,976
I thought I would glow forever,
45
00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:20,154
but by the next day, it was gone.
46
00:02:20,186 --> 00:02:22,288
Wait. I only get a day
with my sex cloak?
47
00:02:22,322 --> 00:02:23,999
That's shorter than a tuxedo rental.
48
00:02:24,024 --> 00:02:24,957
Douglas, what do I do?
49
00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:26,125
Okay, look. We'll hit the club.
50
00:02:26,159 --> 00:02:27,261
Don't worry about it, kid.
51
00:02:27,293 --> 00:02:29,095
I'm not gonna let you
squander your glow.
52
00:02:29,128 --> 00:02:30,930
But you're gonna have to lose
the fanny pack.
53
00:02:33,299 --> 00:02:35,935
I wish I could stay and watch
"The Bachelor" with you.
54
00:02:35,969 --> 00:02:38,052
I've been meaning to ask you
one question, though.
55
00:02:38,076 --> 00:02:39,639
- Hmm?
- What's a virgin?
56
00:02:40,639 --> 00:02:43,177
So, Louisa's party's gonna be fun, huh?
57
00:02:43,209 --> 00:02:44,445
If you call playing marbles
58
00:02:44,477 --> 00:02:46,279
'cause they don't have cable "fun."
59
00:02:47,481 --> 00:02:51,118
Ah. Just a strong woman
buying herself roses.
60
00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:52,886
And this is why I tell you to just honk.
61
00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:54,120
Ror, get your stuff.
62
00:02:54,154 --> 00:02:57,173
Your mailman left this box
in the flower bed.
63
00:02:57,198 --> 00:02:59,492
You might want to think about
tipping him at Christmas.
64
00:02:59,525 --> 00:03:00,793
Please. I'll start tipping him
65
00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:03,364
when he stops saying
he has a "big package" for me.
66
00:03:03,397 --> 00:03:05,399
All right, drunk 2:00 AM Poppy,
67
00:03:05,431 --> 00:03:07,567
what'd you buy online for me now?
68
00:03:07,601 --> 00:03:09,036
Hmm.
69
00:03:09,068 --> 00:03:10,237
Wow.
70
00:03:10,269 --> 00:03:11,505
"Smash Me."
71
00:03:11,537 --> 00:03:12,739
- Don't do it.
- Oh, I'm doing it.
72
00:03:13,739 --> 00:03:14,874
Oh!
73
00:03:14,907 --> 00:03:16,209
What is that?
74
00:03:16,243 --> 00:03:18,078
What's in here?
75
00:03:21,214 --> 00:03:22,316
Ron.
76
00:03:22,348 --> 00:03:24,884
An invitation
to your ex-husband's wedding.
77
00:03:24,917 --> 00:03:27,587
Probably wanting me to... say something
78
00:03:27,620 --> 00:03:29,722
to help you express your feelings.
79
00:03:29,756 --> 00:03:31,692
Onwards and upwards.
80
00:03:31,725 --> 00:03:32,759
Huh?
81
00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:35,328
Harness your womanhood.
82
00:03:35,362 --> 00:03:36,964
Yas, queen!
83
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:39,532
- Okay, well...
- There, there, there.
84
00:03:39,566 --> 00:03:41,702
As much as this is not working,
you're off the hook.
85
00:03:41,734 --> 00:03:44,036
I already know you have plans
to parade "Hot Will" around town
86
00:03:44,070 --> 00:03:45,805
like a piece of meat, so...
87
00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:49,642
You want me to stay?
88
00:03:51,445 --> 00:03:53,446
- All right, ready!
- Ready?
89
00:03:53,479 --> 00:03:55,548
Ready for some sleepover action?
90
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:56,716
Honey, I bring the action
91
00:03:56,750 --> 00:03:57,951
everywhere I go.
92
00:03:57,983 --> 00:03:59,585
- Love you.
- Love you.
93
00:03:59,619 --> 00:04:01,255
Keep marchin', Penguin!
94
00:04:01,287 --> 00:04:02,422
Why do I keep doing that?
95
00:04:02,455 --> 00:04:04,291
I don't know. But I'm gonna be fine.
96
00:04:11,096 --> 00:04:12,298
Ang, Poppy.
97
00:04:12,332 --> 00:04:13,934
I need you to come over ASAP.
98
00:04:13,966 --> 00:04:15,234
We're having a "Bachelor" night.
99
00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:16,269
Dress code... formal.
100
00:04:16,303 --> 00:04:18,471
Attitude... full bitch mode!
101
00:04:18,505 --> 00:04:19,639
Later, Pops!
102
00:04:24,444 --> 00:04:25,446
The sleepover's canceled.
103
00:04:25,478 --> 00:04:27,447
Louisa's been taken by the fever.
104
00:04:27,481 --> 00:04:31,571
- Father... bring me my ice bucket.
- Right away, Louisa.
105
00:04:31,596 --> 00:04:33,921
I just need to get these children home.
106
00:04:33,954 --> 00:04:35,088
Don't worry about us.
107
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:36,889
We've got a phone. We'll call our dad.
108
00:04:36,923 --> 00:04:38,725
Sincerest thanks.
109
00:04:38,757 --> 00:04:40,394
Please pray for our sweet Louisa.
110
00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:42,296
Her fever's broken 100.
111
00:04:43,762 --> 00:04:45,731
So, where are we going?
112
00:04:45,764 --> 00:04:48,101
You said you were gonna call Douglas.
113
00:04:48,134 --> 00:04:51,138
Come on. Where's the craziest
place we can go right now?
114
00:04:53,173 --> 00:04:54,308
I got it!
115
00:04:55,341 --> 00:04:56,310
School?!
116
00:04:56,343 --> 00:04:58,145
You wanted to go to school?
117
00:04:58,178 --> 00:05:00,580
This is what we get
for letting the nerd decide.
118
00:05:07,053 --> 00:05:09,668
Feel that, Will? All eyes are on you.
119
00:05:09,693 --> 00:05:12,159
They are? What about my butt?
Are they looking at my butt?
120
00:05:12,192 --> 00:05:13,994
Oh, they're looking at everything.
121
00:05:14,026 --> 00:05:17,130
Go ahead. Let them taste the pheromones.
122
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:18,632
Yo, when you said, "Let's hit the club,"
123
00:05:18,664 --> 00:05:20,433
I thought you meant "da club."
124
00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:22,101
Here's the plan.
You're gonna walk the room,
125
00:05:22,134 --> 00:05:23,437
you're gonna get the numbers,
126
00:05:23,469 --> 00:05:25,872
and Miggy and I,
we're gonna surf your wake.
127
00:05:28,642 --> 00:05:31,278
Okay, I opened a third bottle of wine,
128
00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:32,645
and we are still wearing our bras,
129
00:05:32,678 --> 00:05:34,313
which means that we're quite tame
130
00:05:34,346 --> 00:05:36,282
considering it's "Bachelor" night.
131
00:05:36,315 --> 00:05:37,717
Look at all these hot people,
132
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:41,954
you know, just falling in love
in their crocheted bikinis,
133
00:05:41,988 --> 00:05:43,490
diving off cliffs,
134
00:05:43,522 --> 00:05:46,058
which... FYI... is about them
taking an emotional leap.
135
00:05:46,091 --> 00:05:48,628
Okay, I feel like you're
going through something here.
136
00:05:48,661 --> 00:05:50,663
The man sent me a wedding invitation
137
00:05:50,697 --> 00:05:52,332
that looks like a Las Vegas production!
138
00:05:52,365 --> 00:05:53,333
Of course I am!
139
00:05:53,365 --> 00:05:55,668
Let it out. I'm here.
140
00:05:55,702 --> 00:05:58,872
It just hit me harder than
I thought it would, you know?
141
00:05:58,904 --> 00:06:00,406
I mean, I don't want to be
married to the man.
142
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:01,909
- Mnh-mnh.
- He went to that Fyre Festival
143
00:06:01,942 --> 00:06:03,076
and came home with no complaints.
144
00:06:03,108 --> 00:06:04,644
Why does he get to be happy?
145
00:06:04,678 --> 00:06:06,647
No one is supposed to be happy!
146
00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:08,582
That is the deal
we all make as a society.
147
00:06:08,615 --> 00:06:10,550
Well, you're happy. You have a good guy.
148
00:06:10,584 --> 00:06:12,418
I know. Owen's great.
149
00:06:12,452 --> 00:06:14,510
Yeah, he left a wallet
full of cash at my place,
150
00:06:14,535 --> 00:06:15,656
and when he came back to pick it up,
151
00:06:15,688 --> 00:06:17,757
he didn't even check to see
if anything was missing.
152
00:06:17,791 --> 00:06:19,425
Which is good 'cause I took 20 bucks.
153
00:06:19,459 --> 00:06:21,762
What?! That is so sweet.
154
00:06:21,795 --> 00:06:25,065
Things are good with Owen now,
but that doesn't mean anything.
155
00:06:25,098 --> 00:06:27,534
Things were great with
Graham's dad in the beginning.
156
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:29,142
No, you said he was human trash.
157
00:06:29,167 --> 00:06:31,037
Yeah, no. He didn't start out that way.
158
00:06:31,070 --> 00:06:32,104
They never do.
159
00:06:32,137 --> 00:06:33,774
That's how they get ya.
160
00:06:33,807 --> 00:06:35,242
There is no happy ending.
161
00:06:35,274 --> 00:06:37,243
You either break up or watch them die.
162
00:06:37,276 --> 00:06:39,512
Or... Or you die,
163
00:06:39,546 --> 00:06:41,582
and then the last thought that you have
164
00:06:41,615 --> 00:06:43,417
before you go off into the light is,
165
00:06:43,449 --> 00:06:45,252
"Great, now I made a hot widow
166
00:06:45,284 --> 00:06:46,919
to tramp around the nursing home!"
167
00:06:46,952 --> 00:06:49,089
And you know what else
is straight-up baloney?!
168
00:06:49,122 --> 00:06:50,557
Girl, don't make me beg.
169
00:06:50,589 --> 00:06:52,258
We only get disappointed
170
00:06:52,291 --> 00:06:55,410
because we're fed
all this BS about romance!
171
00:06:55,443 --> 00:06:57,905
- By like, the media.
- Yes.
172
00:06:57,930 --> 00:06:59,933
- And storybooks!
- Ugh!
173
00:06:59,958 --> 00:07:02,341
And the supportive messages
on Dove wrappers!
174
00:07:02,365 --> 00:07:04,471
So stupid! Someone's
gotta tell these ladies
175
00:07:04,504 --> 00:07:06,106
that they're getting
all gussied up for nothing.
176
00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:08,108
- For a lie!
- Yeah. Yeah, you're right!
177
00:07:08,141 --> 00:07:09,276
You know what?
178
00:07:09,308 --> 00:07:12,279
We owe it to these
"Bachelor" ladies to tell them
179
00:07:12,312 --> 00:07:14,281
that their blowouts won't save 'em!
180
00:07:14,313 --> 00:07:16,382
They are group-dating straight to hell!
181
00:07:16,416 --> 00:07:18,250
And you know what else?
This Bachelor Mansion,
182
00:07:18,284 --> 00:07:20,286
it's not some... some faraway castle.
183
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,154
It's just a house in Agoura Hills
184
00:07:22,187 --> 00:07:24,057
that's like an hour away from here!
185
00:07:24,089 --> 00:07:25,659
Yeah!
186
00:07:25,692 --> 00:07:28,461
Oh. Angie D'Amato.
187
00:07:28,495 --> 00:07:31,131
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
188
00:07:32,865 --> 00:07:34,034
Shave Will's beard.
189
00:07:35,134 --> 00:07:36,168
The Bachelor Mansion.
190
00:07:55,855 --> 00:07:58,158
This is crazy!
191
00:07:58,190 --> 00:08:01,094
We are at the Bachelor Mansion!
192
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:04,501
Yes! And the driveway's
wet, like it always is!
193
00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:05,766
No, no, no!
194
00:08:05,806 --> 00:08:08,642
Ohh! I wanted to get out of
that car, like, five more times.
195
00:08:08,668 --> 00:08:10,600
I was gonna have you shoot
a close-up of my foot.
196
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:11,726
Yeah.
197
00:08:12,850 --> 00:08:13,973
Girl.
198
00:08:14,569 --> 00:08:17,511
- Giiirrrl!
- Giiirrrl!
199
00:08:18,530 --> 00:08:20,513
- Okay, we're going in.
- Yes!
200
00:08:22,916 --> 00:08:24,718
Super quiet.
201
00:08:24,750 --> 00:08:26,820
There's... no one... here.
202
00:08:26,853 --> 00:08:31,124
There's not a Becca or Lauren
or Jennifer H. in sight.
203
00:08:31,156 --> 00:08:32,224
Wait!
204
00:08:32,257 --> 00:08:33,526
Oh, my God.
205
00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:35,661
They're not filming "The
Bachelor" right now, are they?
206
00:08:35,695 --> 00:08:37,964
They must have stopped shooting
months ago.
207
00:08:37,997 --> 00:08:40,032
I just realized
we don't know how TV works.
208
00:08:40,065 --> 00:08:41,701
My phone's dead.
209
00:08:41,734 --> 00:08:42,735
Damn it. Mine too.
210
00:08:42,768 --> 00:08:44,370
I told Rory to stop wasting my battery
211
00:08:44,403 --> 00:08:46,572
with his competitive
dog-grooming videos.
212
00:08:46,605 --> 00:08:48,841
So this is how it ends.
213
00:08:48,874 --> 00:08:50,409
We die at the Bachelor Mansion.
214
00:08:51,578 --> 00:08:53,413
Hello? Who's there?
215
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:56,315
Chris... Harrison?
216
00:08:56,348 --> 00:08:57,651
Hello, m'lord.
217
00:08:57,684 --> 00:08:59,086
Ladies, I don't mean to interrupt,
218
00:08:59,118 --> 00:09:02,089
but my ears are highly sensitive
to the sound of female voices.
219
00:09:03,956 --> 00:09:05,272
Would you ladies like to come in?
220
00:09:06,959 --> 00:09:09,095
Are you asking if...
221
00:09:09,128 --> 00:09:12,465
we would accept this invitation
to the Bachelor Mansion?
222
00:09:13,299 --> 00:09:15,235
Sorry. I just...
223
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:16,769
Y-You know.
224
00:09:16,802 --> 00:09:19,572
It's fine. It would be weird
if you didn't do a rose thing.
225
00:09:19,605 --> 00:09:21,240
Come on in. Come on.
226
00:09:21,273 --> 00:09:22,743
Uhhhhh...
227
00:09:24,611 --> 00:09:26,079
You know, when I woke up this morning,
228
00:09:26,112 --> 00:09:28,682
I didn't think I was gonna
save a girl's life three times.
229
00:09:28,714 --> 00:09:31,218
But fate had other ideas.
230
00:09:31,251 --> 00:09:32,752
I was standing next to him,
231
00:09:32,786 --> 00:09:35,255
and I could feel him
drawing strength from me.
232
00:09:35,287 --> 00:09:37,022
By the way, I know Dennis Franz.
233
00:09:37,055 --> 00:09:39,425
Hey. I'm Bobbi... with an "i."
234
00:09:39,459 --> 00:09:41,094
I'm Miggy... with a "y."
235
00:09:41,127 --> 00:09:42,462
You're funny.
236
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,763
You're hysterical.
237
00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,431
Oh. Okay.
238
00:09:45,464 --> 00:09:46,899
I'm afraid we're out of time, ladies.
239
00:09:46,932 --> 00:09:48,968
I guess we'll see you on the fairway.
240
00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:50,637
- Miggy, quickly.
- Nice to meet you.
241
00:09:50,670 --> 00:09:53,473
- I got five numbers and one fax.
- Wow.
242
00:09:53,506 --> 00:09:54,875
How you doing, gorgeous?
243
00:09:54,907 --> 00:09:57,810
Well, I'm new to being hot,
so I'm no expert, but, uh,
244
00:09:57,844 --> 00:10:00,946
is it normal to feel
both flattered and tired
245
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:03,082
and like your soul
is caving in on itself?
246
00:10:03,116 --> 00:10:04,918
That's 'cause you're cooking with gas!
247
00:10:04,950 --> 00:10:07,253
Hey, guys, guys. What do you
think about Bobbi with an "i"?
248
00:10:07,286 --> 00:10:09,089
Oh, please. That was forever ago.
249
00:10:09,122 --> 00:10:10,957
She's probably dead by now. Onward.
250
00:10:10,989 --> 00:10:12,424
Oh, hey! It's my boss!
251
00:10:12,458 --> 00:10:13,959
I'm just gonna run and say hi.
252
00:10:13,993 --> 00:10:15,929
No, no, no! You don't
waste your glow on your boss.
253
00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:18,899
It's like those actors who take
their moms to the Oscars.
254
00:10:18,931 --> 00:10:19,932
Yeah, I love that, too.
255
00:10:19,965 --> 00:10:21,501
Wait, wait. Wait.
256
00:10:22,801 --> 00:10:24,436
Hello.
257
00:10:24,469 --> 00:10:26,272
I know Dennis Franz.
258
00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:27,807
Tracy. Oh, my God.
259
00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,810
I am so happy to see you...
a friendly face.
260
00:10:30,844 --> 00:10:32,244
Will? What are you doing here?
261
00:10:32,277 --> 00:10:33,613
- Oh...
- Wait.
262
00:10:33,646 --> 00:10:35,115
Are you wearing wardrobe?
263
00:10:35,140 --> 00:10:36,790
Did you clear that with Deborah?
264
00:10:36,815 --> 00:10:39,185
No, these are my clothes.
265
00:10:39,219 --> 00:10:40,252
Oh. Okay.
266
00:10:40,286 --> 00:10:41,988
- Do you mind if I sit?
- Sure.
267
00:10:42,021 --> 00:10:43,290
I'm waiting for someone,
268
00:10:43,323 --> 00:10:45,025
- Sure.
- but you can... keep me company.
269
00:10:45,057 --> 00:10:47,092
Whatcha reading? Probably
something smart, ya big nerd.
270
00:10:47,126 --> 00:10:48,261
Um...
271
00:10:48,294 --> 00:10:49,463
N.W.A.'s cookbook.
272
00:10:50,463 --> 00:10:52,098
- "Straight Outta Chompton."
- I know.
273
00:10:52,131 --> 00:10:54,767
- You can make fun of me. It's fine.
- No, no, no, no.
274
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,469
I'm not gonna make fun of you.
Let's see what we got here.
275
00:10:56,502 --> 00:10:58,338
N.W.A. nachos.
276
00:10:58,371 --> 00:10:59,940
Nachos with avocado.
277
00:10:59,973 --> 00:11:02,041
Healthy option... great.
278
00:11:04,344 --> 00:11:05,978
Do you live here?
279
00:11:06,012 --> 00:11:09,516
No, but sometimes I get homesick
and spend the night.
280
00:11:09,549 --> 00:11:11,451
You know, do cannonballs in the pool,
281
00:11:11,483 --> 00:11:13,118
roll around in the rose petals...
282
00:11:13,151 --> 00:11:15,488
do all the things
I'm "discouraged" from doing
283
00:11:15,521 --> 00:11:16,555
during the show.
284
00:11:16,589 --> 00:11:18,224
- Pfft.
- Bad.
285
00:11:18,257 --> 00:11:19,725
But enough about me.
286
00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:21,393
Anyone have questions about the show
287
00:11:21,426 --> 00:11:23,028
or... your love life?
288
00:11:23,061 --> 00:11:24,464
Hell yeah.
289
00:11:24,497 --> 00:11:26,199
One-on-one me, Chris.
290
00:11:26,232 --> 00:11:28,300
Why are we at the school at nighttime?!
291
00:11:28,334 --> 00:11:30,502
This is when the Mop Man comes!
292
00:11:30,536 --> 00:11:31,537
Who's the Mop Man?
293
00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,706
Janitor Henderson Sr.
294
00:11:33,739 --> 00:11:35,741
He died in a freak boiler accident.
295
00:11:35,775 --> 00:11:37,244
Now he haunts the school,
296
00:11:37,276 --> 00:11:40,146
looking for children to kill
and turn into mops!
297
00:11:40,179 --> 00:11:41,481
We should go block the door.
298
00:11:46,118 --> 00:11:47,586
I never heard of the Mop Man,
299
00:11:47,619 --> 00:11:50,155
and I edit Hilltop's
paranormal newsletter.
300
00:11:50,189 --> 00:11:52,392
Please. I made him up to scare Graham.
301
00:11:52,425 --> 00:11:54,194
Guys, help me! Come on!
302
00:11:55,228 --> 00:11:57,597
Deep down, I think he enjoys the thrill.
303
00:11:57,629 --> 00:11:59,498
Great. D'Amato's having a meltdown.
304
00:11:59,531 --> 00:12:02,535
Is this what you imagined, Sophie?
305
00:12:04,103 --> 00:12:07,073
And I see her dangling there,
so I called out, "Look!
306
00:12:07,105 --> 00:12:09,742
That little girl's about to fall!"
307
00:12:09,776 --> 00:12:11,745
Some people are calling me
the "Look Guy."
308
00:12:11,777 --> 00:12:14,447
When's the, uh... cute one coming back?
309
00:12:17,617 --> 00:12:18,952
This is a disaster.
310
00:12:18,984 --> 00:12:22,555
We're sinking faster
than the RMS Lusitania.
311
00:12:22,588 --> 00:12:23,924
Oh, I don't know.
312
00:12:23,956 --> 00:12:26,759
I think I'm getting vibes
from Bobbi the golf lady.
313
00:12:26,792 --> 00:12:28,094
Oh, boy.
314
00:12:28,127 --> 00:12:30,430
Maybe she'll do that thing where
she puts her arms around me
315
00:12:30,463 --> 00:12:32,265
and teaches me how to swing a golf club.
316
00:12:32,297 --> 00:12:33,599
You know, like in "Tin Cup."
317
00:12:33,632 --> 00:12:35,267
Have you even seen "Tin Cup"?
318
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:36,936
Nah, dawg. I read the synopsis.
319
00:12:36,969 --> 00:12:38,704
What the hell's taking Will so long?
320
00:12:38,738 --> 00:12:41,085
Come on... a whole-station karaoke night?
321
00:12:41,117 --> 00:12:42,282
We gotta put it on the books.
322
00:12:42,307 --> 00:12:43,475
No, we tried it once.
323
00:12:43,508 --> 00:12:45,277
- Guy McCormick got so drunk...
- Of course.
324
00:12:45,310 --> 00:12:46,946
...he stole all the mics...
325
00:12:46,979 --> 00:12:49,748
...and he treated us
to a four-hour concert.
326
00:12:49,781 --> 00:12:51,084
You know, that sounds terrible,
327
00:12:51,117 --> 00:12:52,419
but I'm also sorta sad I missed it.
328
00:12:54,619 --> 00:12:55,988
Mm.
329
00:12:56,955 --> 00:12:58,090
Oh.
330
00:12:58,123 --> 00:12:59,325
He's not coming.
331
00:12:59,358 --> 00:13:00,326
Shocker.
332
00:13:00,359 --> 00:13:01,427
Who's that?
333
00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:04,163
Travis, my... boyfriend...
334
00:13:04,196 --> 00:13:05,264
kind of.
335
00:13:05,297 --> 00:13:06,765
We're always stopping and starting.
336
00:13:06,799 --> 00:13:10,670
It's... It's kind of like
when you're on a Ferris wheel
337
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:12,505
and it breaks down at the top
338
00:13:12,537 --> 00:13:15,941
and... all you can do
is kick and scream...
339
00:13:15,974 --> 00:13:17,776
"Help! I don't want to die here!"
340
00:13:17,801 --> 00:13:20,079
Yeah, I sort of feel like
all of my relationships
341
00:13:20,113 --> 00:13:22,648
have been assembled by
carnies, so I get it.
342
00:13:24,017 --> 00:13:25,986
Do you want to get food?
343
00:13:26,018 --> 00:13:27,119
Really?
344
00:13:27,152 --> 00:13:28,787
You'd... want to do that?
345
00:13:28,820 --> 00:13:30,589
- I do... if you do.
- Yeah.
346
00:13:30,622 --> 00:13:33,126
I mean, anything has got to
better than the KZOP Caf�.
347
00:13:33,158 --> 00:13:35,094
That's what I call
the vending machines at work.
348
00:13:36,163 --> 00:13:37,964
Okay, Will, we need your glow!
349
00:13:37,997 --> 00:13:38,998
What?
350
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:40,132
It's nothing. It's just...
351
00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:42,635
Well, he's wearing
a sex cloak right now,
352
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,603
and we're here to meet women...
as many as possible.
353
00:13:44,637 --> 00:13:46,439
It's a real buffet going on.
354
00:13:46,472 --> 00:13:48,007
Oh. Well...
355
00:13:48,041 --> 00:13:50,443
I wouldn't be able to sleep at night,
356
00:13:50,475 --> 00:13:52,778
uh, knowing I stood in the way
of you meeting
357
00:13:52,811 --> 00:13:54,980
- "as many women as possible," so...
- No. No, Tracy.
358
00:13:55,013 --> 00:13:56,448
I-It's not as creepy as it sounds!
359
00:13:56,482 --> 00:13:57,784
We've lost some time,
360
00:13:57,816 --> 00:14:00,320
but a hot baby shower
is setting up at the raw bar.
361
00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:01,488
What the hell, man?!
362
00:14:01,521 --> 00:14:03,656
Tracy and I were having
a real connection.
363
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:05,058
You asked me to help you.
364
00:14:05,090 --> 00:14:07,292
You want to waste your window,
be my guest.
365
00:14:07,325 --> 00:14:09,495
Tracy is not a waste of anything.
366
00:14:09,528 --> 00:14:11,196
Maybe she's exactly what I want...
367
00:14:11,229 --> 00:14:13,565
one person who I actually like
368
00:14:13,598 --> 00:14:15,834
and... who likes me, too.
369
00:14:15,868 --> 00:14:16,902
I mean, Miggy gets it.
370
00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:21,507
He's on my guest pass.
I can't be an accessory to this.
371
00:14:21,541 --> 00:14:22,842
Douglas, maybe...
372
00:14:22,874 --> 00:14:24,844
you shouldn't be trying
to meet a ton of women,
373
00:14:24,877 --> 00:14:27,579
and instead, invest your time
into meeting one person
374
00:14:27,613 --> 00:14:29,082
who thinks that you glow no matter what.
375
00:14:29,114 --> 00:14:31,183
That way, the glow never ends.
376
00:14:31,217 --> 00:14:33,086
Now I'm gonna go after Tracy.
377
00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:34,686
And maybe you should think about
378
00:14:34,719 --> 00:14:37,089
who you should be going after.
379
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:43,429
Owen is great, but when is it
gonna blow up in my face?
380
00:14:43,463 --> 00:14:45,065
Because it always does, Chris.
381
00:14:45,098 --> 00:14:46,833
Men are trash!
382
00:14:46,858 --> 00:14:48,160
- No offense.
- It's fine.
383
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,569
A lot of us are.
384
00:14:49,602 --> 00:14:50,770
Juan Pablo.
385
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,005
What... What am I gonna do?
386
00:14:53,039 --> 00:14:54,674
Look, every woman
who's come to this mansion
387
00:14:54,706 --> 00:14:56,041
has been hurt before.
388
00:14:56,074 --> 00:14:59,445
But they come here with no less
than 15 formal dresses
389
00:14:59,478 --> 00:15:02,581
and occasionally
a freakish costume for night 1,
390
00:15:02,614 --> 00:15:04,750
ready to put themselves out there again.
391
00:15:04,783 --> 00:15:06,618
I know that's what you're
scared of the most, Angie.
392
00:15:06,651 --> 00:15:08,588
But you've done it before.
393
00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:10,090
Graham's dad.
394
00:15:10,122 --> 00:15:12,124
Don't forget the twins'
karate instructor.
395
00:15:12,157 --> 00:15:14,193
Ohh. Master Gary.
396
00:15:14,227 --> 00:15:16,228
The things we did in that dojo.
397
00:15:16,262 --> 00:15:18,430
Love is out there.
398
00:15:18,464 --> 00:15:19,933
You gotta let it in.
399
00:15:19,965 --> 00:15:21,600
Damn, Chris.
400
00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:23,869
Okay, now, I have some questions
about the fantasy suites...
401
00:15:23,928 --> 00:15:25,938
- Right.
- 'Scuse. Coming through. Choo-choo! Hi!
402
00:15:25,972 --> 00:15:27,881
- Do you mind if I borrow him for a minute?
- I was still talking to...
403
00:15:27,906 --> 00:15:29,642
It's gonna be real quick.
Thanks so much.
404
00:15:29,675 --> 00:15:31,899
And, uh, scoochy-scoochy.
405
00:15:31,924 --> 00:15:34,079
- Here.
- Ah. Thanks, Chris.
406
00:15:34,113 --> 00:15:36,446
- So, back to Ron.
- Yeah.
407
00:15:36,471 --> 00:15:38,918
You know, I feel like I've done
so much work on myself,
408
00:15:38,950 --> 00:15:41,553
and now he's the one who gets
to live happily ever after?
409
00:15:41,587 --> 00:15:43,590
You're not jealous of Ron.
410
00:15:43,622 --> 00:15:45,925
What's really going on here? Be honest.
411
00:15:45,958 --> 00:15:47,594
Okay.
412
00:15:47,627 --> 00:15:49,896
I guess I'm scared...
413
00:15:49,929 --> 00:15:51,430
that...
414
00:15:51,464 --> 00:15:53,065
it'll never happen for me.
415
00:15:56,135 --> 00:15:57,737
Poppy...
416
00:15:57,770 --> 00:15:59,405
...I've watched 23 seasons...
417
00:15:59,438 --> 00:16:01,608
group dates, one-on-ones,
418
00:16:01,641 --> 00:16:03,810
about 150 helicopter rides.
419
00:16:03,843 --> 00:16:05,115
Ooh, totally gonna do that.
420
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:08,515
Yeah, they don't love it when
you take the helicopter out.
421
00:16:08,547 --> 00:16:09,781
Learned that the hard way.
422
00:16:09,815 --> 00:16:12,451
Point is, there's someone
out there for you.
423
00:16:12,484 --> 00:16:14,419
He might be closer than you think.
424
00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:16,956
Maybe... right in front of you.
425
00:16:16,988 --> 00:16:19,993
Ooh, Chris Harrison!
426
00:16:20,026 --> 00:16:21,661
I'm feeling a connection.
427
00:16:21,694 --> 00:16:23,363
- It's not me, Poppy.
- Got it.
428
00:16:23,396 --> 00:16:25,832
But falling for me is
an incredibly common occurrence.
429
00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:28,267
Ladies, I am so sorry. I got to go.
430
00:16:28,300 --> 00:16:29,536
- No!
- Yeah.
431
00:16:29,569 --> 00:16:31,771
Doctor says I can't soak
more than nine hours a day.
432
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:33,006
I've reached my limit.
433
00:16:33,039 --> 00:16:35,207
- I'll see you in a bit.
- Okay.
434
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:38,877
Is it just me, or do you feel better?
435
00:16:38,911 --> 00:16:40,280
About, like, everything?
436
00:16:40,313 --> 00:16:41,948
I do. I mean, I don't know what it is.
437
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:43,815
If it's the champagne
or the mansion talking...
438
00:16:43,848 --> 00:16:45,384
Hell, part of me feels like we're in
439
00:16:45,417 --> 00:16:47,052
a "Bachelor"-fueled hallucination.
440
00:16:47,085 --> 00:16:49,788
I wonder that every... day.
441
00:16:49,821 --> 00:16:51,557
- Phones are charged. There you go.
- Oh! Yes!
442
00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:53,560
I updated all your apps, as well.
443
00:16:53,593 --> 00:16:55,060
Thanks.
444
00:16:55,094 --> 00:16:56,228
You know what?
445
00:16:56,262 --> 00:16:57,964
Whatever it is, I'm just glad
446
00:16:57,997 --> 00:17:00,267
that there might be
someone out there for me.
447
00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:06,705
Hey, Ron. it's me.
448
00:17:06,739 --> 00:17:08,641
I'm calling to RSVP to your wedding.
449
00:17:08,674 --> 00:17:09,764
I'm coming.
450
00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:10,743
But clear some space,
451
00:17:10,775 --> 00:17:12,010
because I'm definitely
bringing a plus-one.
452
00:17:12,043 --> 00:17:13,213
I don't know who it is.
453
00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:15,581
10% chance it might be
Chris Harrison. What?!
454
00:17:15,615 --> 00:17:17,884
But whoever it is,
I'll definitely find love
455
00:17:17,916 --> 00:17:19,218
before your wedding rolls around.
456
00:17:19,252 --> 00:17:20,753
M'kay. Bye.
457
00:17:24,089 --> 00:17:26,725
Okay, is that a bikini bottom
floating in the Jacuzzi?!
458
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:28,500
- Let's get out of here.
- Ew! Out.
459
00:17:29,730 --> 00:17:31,699
- Hi.
- Will.
460
00:17:31,733 --> 00:17:33,002
I-I know it's weird I'm at your house,
461
00:17:33,034 --> 00:17:35,537
but I-I was trying to text you
to explain about tonight,
462
00:17:35,571 --> 00:17:37,173
and then you weren't responding,
463
00:17:37,206 --> 00:17:38,573
and I realized why.
464
00:17:39,541 --> 00:17:41,477
Oh, God! Get it together, Freeze!
465
00:17:41,509 --> 00:17:43,778
Listen, I think...
you got the wrong idea
466
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:44,847
about me tonight,
467
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,614
because I wasn't there to mee...
468
00:17:46,648 --> 00:17:47,783
Hi! A man!
469
00:17:47,815 --> 00:17:49,517
Tracy, there's a man in your house.
470
00:17:49,551 --> 00:17:51,266
Travis, this is... my coworker Will.
471
00:17:51,291 --> 00:17:53,122
- Oh, hey. How's it going?
- How are you?
472
00:17:53,154 --> 00:17:54,689
He was nice enough to
rescue my phone from the club.
473
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:55,791
Oh. Thanks, man. Cool.
474
00:17:55,823 --> 00:17:56,859
Oh, I'm no hero.
475
00:17:56,891 --> 00:17:58,660
I'm just a guy who saw a phone,
picked it up,
476
00:17:58,694 --> 00:17:59,962
and brought it back to its owner.
477
00:17:59,995 --> 00:18:01,229
It's what anyone would have done.
478
00:18:01,263 --> 00:18:03,099
- Oh, cool, man. Thanks.
- You got it.
479
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:08,370
It's hard to get off the Ferris wheel.
480
00:18:08,402 --> 00:18:10,538
Yeah, it's why
I normally stay on the ground,
481
00:18:10,572 --> 00:18:11,707
eating funnel cake.
482
00:18:20,881 --> 00:18:23,251
You know, the last time
I wore one of these,
483
00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:25,054
I was getting fired from a KFC.
484
00:18:25,086 --> 00:18:26,487
Shh.
485
00:18:26,521 --> 00:18:27,923
Turn that ass around.
486
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,196
"Tin Cup"! It's happening!
487
00:18:49,644 --> 00:18:51,546
The band's back together.
488
00:18:57,986 --> 00:19:01,122
No. Stupid.
489
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,442
P-P-Poppy? Y-You're up?
490
00:19:21,476 --> 00:19:23,279
It's so late.
491
00:19:23,312 --> 00:19:24,713
Hey. Yeah.
492
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,583
Um... somehow, I thought you'd be up.
493
00:19:33,487 --> 00:19:34,823
What are you doing?
494
00:19:34,855 --> 00:19:37,392
They were right. I am a nerd.
495
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:39,061
Doesn't matter anyway.
496
00:19:39,093 --> 00:19:41,462
The Mop Man's gonna
murder all of us by sunrise.
497
00:19:41,496 --> 00:19:44,132
Graham, the Mop Man isn't real.
498
00:19:44,166 --> 00:19:45,333
Rory made it up.
499
00:19:45,367 --> 00:19:47,635
What?!
500
00:19:47,669 --> 00:19:49,505
He got me again.
501
00:19:49,537 --> 00:19:51,939
Got to give it to him...
the guy's creative.
502
00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,108
Well...
503
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:55,844
I know how to get back at Rory.
504
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:06,322
God! Where is the Uber?!
505
00:20:06,354 --> 00:20:07,922
I have to get home and pee.
506
00:20:07,956 --> 00:20:09,525
There's no working plumbing
in that mansion...
507
00:20:09,557 --> 00:20:11,025
but a curling iron in every room.
508
00:20:11,059 --> 00:20:12,528
Yeah, I didn't call one.
509
00:20:12,561 --> 00:20:13,762
I called someone else.
510
00:20:13,794 --> 00:20:15,631
Douglas?
511
00:20:22,903 --> 00:20:24,172
It hurts!
512
00:20:26,574 --> 00:20:28,110
What the hell is he wearing?
513
00:20:28,142 --> 00:20:29,169
I don't know.
514
00:20:30,178 --> 00:20:31,679
God. I can't hold it anymore.
515
00:20:31,713 --> 00:20:33,015
I'm just gonna pee in the fountain.
516
00:20:33,047 --> 00:20:35,550
There's no way I'm the first
person to pee in that thing.
517
00:20:37,686 --> 00:20:39,954
- I like your outfit.
- Thank you.
518
00:20:47,062 --> 00:20:48,897
Wait!!
519
00:20:48,929 --> 00:20:50,676
Don't leave me here!
520
00:20:52,309 --> 00:20:54,129
IV�monos, muchachos!
521
00:20:54,154 --> 00:20:56,170
My mom said she'd pick us up
right at 10:00.
522
00:20:56,204 --> 00:20:58,006
Relax. This is Angie
we're talking about.
523
00:20:58,038 --> 00:21:00,942
The woman's always late.
She's on Hawaiian time.
524
00:21:05,846 --> 00:21:07,014
Why are you guys out of breath?
525
00:21:07,047 --> 00:21:08,316
Why are you in a gown?
526
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,685
Just get in the van, Rory.
527
00:21:11,018 --> 00:21:12,353
So, how was Louisa's?
528
00:21:12,387 --> 00:21:13,489
- Fun.
- Really?
529
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,256
She kinda creeps me out.
530
00:21:23,455 --> 00:21:28,455
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
37818
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