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1
00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:08,540
I told you,
my mom's not here.
2
00:00:08,608 --> 00:00:11,877
He's not here either.
I'm all alone.
3
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:15,247
[whispering]
and I don't know anything
about electric bills.
4
00:00:15,315 --> 00:00:18,884
And I don't know anything
about electric bills.
5
00:00:18,952 --> 00:00:21,854
Do you know you're
5 months behind?
6
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:25,691
Hey, I'm just a little kid,
and you're scaring me.
7
00:00:25,759 --> 00:00:28,894
Hey, I'm just a little kid,
and you're scaring me.
8
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,597
Oh, nice parenting,
mother.
9
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:36,068
D.J.'s gonna turn out
more screwed up than
the rest of us.
10
00:00:36,136 --> 00:00:38,704
Yeah, well, by the time
the third one comes along,
11
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:40,773
You should have
the hang of it.
12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,976
They want to call
dad at work.
13
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,345
No! Tell them
he's not there.
14
00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:48,914
He's out trying to
find you a new kidney.
15
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,685
Just say you don't
have the number.
16
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:56,455
And hurry up.
I'm waiting for
a call from Mark.
17
00:00:56,523 --> 00:00:59,058
I don't got the number.
Okay? Bye.
18
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:03,429
That a boy, Deej.
19
00:01:03,496 --> 00:01:07,066
Can I go now?
In a minute. Um...
20
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:09,168
I'm real sorry
I made you lie.
21
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,403
You know I wouldn't
if I didn't have to.
22
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:14,306
Yeah, I know.
'cause it's not
cool to lie.
23
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:17,176
You know that, right?
I've told you that before.
24
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:20,646
It's just, well,
sometimes
25
00:01:20,714 --> 00:01:23,749
We have to lie in order
to protect ourselves
26
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:27,453
From all the evil
people out there who
seek to destroy us.
27
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:30,389
Got it?
Got it.
Now can I go?
28
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,391
Yeah.
29
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,595
[ringing]
hey, hey, hey.
You'd better get that.
30
00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,198
It might be those evil
easter seal people.
31
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,535
Hello?
Oh, hi, Mark.
32
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:47,272
Yeah, Becky's here.
I'll go get her.
33
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:49,808
Didn't I teach you
anything?
34
00:01:49,876 --> 00:01:51,944
� [theme]
35
00:02:56,910 --> 00:02:59,144
[Roseanne laughing]
36
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,152
It was nothing like
the boob job.
37
00:03:07,220 --> 00:03:09,455
They just sucked the fat
out with a vacuum.
38
00:03:09,522 --> 00:03:12,358
How much
did they suck out.
Some.
39
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,527
A lot?
Enough.
40
00:03:15,595 --> 00:03:18,564
Did they have to
change the bag?
41
00:03:18,631 --> 00:03:21,800
What is your point?
It don't look
no different.
42
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,670
Well, sure.
It's still swollen.
43
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,873
God, Nancy, why
would you go torture
yourself like that?
44
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,944
I was so depressed
when I got the separation
papers from Arnie,
45
00:03:32,012 --> 00:03:34,980
I just had to do something
to make myself more desirable.
46
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,916
Yeah. Guys just
can't resist
47
00:03:37,984 --> 00:03:40,652
A chick with
a hemorrhoid pillow.
48
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:43,589
Hey.
49
00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,758
Expecting a water
landing, Nance?
50
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:50,295
Oh, that's it.
I got to go soak.
51
00:03:50,363 --> 00:03:53,198
Way to go, Dan.
She just had surgery
52
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,200
Because of her
low self-esteem.
53
00:03:55,268 --> 00:03:58,037
You walk in here
and kick her like a dog.
54
00:03:58,104 --> 00:04:00,673
Say something nice
about her butt, Dan.
55
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,511
Very jaunty.
56
00:04:06,813 --> 00:04:08,847
Come on, Nancy.
I'll drive you home.
57
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:11,450
This time I won't go
over the railroad tracks.
58
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:14,520
Oh, I keep
misjudging it now.
59
00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:17,623
So how'd it go
at the bank?
60
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:21,927
Well, we chatted about
the recession for a while,
don't you know.
61
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,597
Then I gave him my "things
are bound to be better
after the election" speech.
62
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:28,200
Then they said,
"you're 4 months behind
on your first mortgage,
63
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,003
"3 months behind on your
second. We want our money
by Friday. And here,
64
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,005
Have a calendar."
65
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:36,141
Look.
Kittens in a basket.
66
00:04:38,645 --> 00:04:41,146
Dan, I'm done with that
manifold back there.
67
00:04:42,816 --> 00:04:44,783
Hey.
Hey, Mark.
68
00:04:44,851 --> 00:04:48,420
So you want me to
come in again tomorrow?
I don't think so.
69
00:04:48,488 --> 00:04:51,323
Well, can you give me
a rough idea when you
might need me again?
70
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:55,094
Well, the way
things are going,
here's your days off.
71
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,096
That bad, huh?
72
00:04:57,163 --> 00:04:59,164
Look, things are pretty
rocky right now.
73
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,367
Why don't we take this
on a day-to-day basis?
74
00:05:01,434 --> 00:05:03,369
Okay. If you need me,
you know where to call.
75
00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:05,571
[Dan]
thanks a lot,
buddy.
76
00:05:07,374 --> 00:05:10,376
Okay, Dan, so what
are we gonna do?
77
00:05:10,443 --> 00:05:13,645
They want their money, babe.
Well, tell them
they can't have it!
78
00:05:13,713 --> 00:05:16,782
Can't we just
give 'em the truck?
We hate the truck.
79
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,284
What will we
live in, dear?
[gasps]
80
00:05:19,352 --> 00:05:22,755
Oh, god, Dan,
they don't want the house?
No, they don't want the house.
81
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:24,890
Well, that's a relief.
82
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:27,693
No, they said they really
don't want the house,
but they'll take it.
83
00:05:27,761 --> 00:05:30,396
Turns out it's
worth less than they
loaned us for it.
84
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:32,998
What kind of bank makes
some stupid investment
like that?
85
00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:35,634
Hey, we're taking
our money elsewhere.
86
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:38,003
That was their
suggestion.
87
00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:41,106
Well, so now what?
88
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,776
You pour the gasoline,
I'll light the match.
89
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:47,579
Oh, damn.
Yeah, damn.
90
00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:50,916
I knew we shouldn't
have gone into business
for ourselves.
91
00:05:50,984 --> 00:05:53,919
There's nobody
to steal from.
92
00:05:59,592 --> 00:06:04,029
Hey, I'm just a little kid
and I'm all alone,
and you're scaring me.
93
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,765
Who was that?
Grandma.
94
00:06:10,403 --> 00:06:12,338
Where's your sister?
Upstairs.
95
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,441
Becky,
get down here!
96
00:06:16,943 --> 00:06:19,111
What's going on?
Family meeting, Deej.
97
00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:21,280
All right,
I'm going.
98
00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,482
What's up?
Pull up a chair,
Beck.
99
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:26,151
Oh, god.
These are always
bad news.
100
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,754
What are you worried
about, Becky? How much
worse could our lives suck
101
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,090
Than they already
do now?
102
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:33,892
Well, it's taken us
a while, Darlene,
103
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:38,430
But I think we
really hit the jackpot
this time.
104
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:41,500
Your mother and I
have decided to
close the bike shop.
105
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:46,071
We're having a "going out
of business" sale and then
locking the doors on Friday.
106
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:49,942
And I don't have a job,
so that means no income.
How'd we do?
107
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,878
What are we gonna
do for money?
108
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:55,247
Well, I'm gonna go
back to dry-walling
109
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:58,217
And maybe repair
a couple of bikes
out of the garage,
110
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:02,187
And until things pick up,
it's gonna be pretty
tight around here.
111
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:04,923
So it's just a real
good thing that we
never gave you anything,
112
00:07:04,991 --> 00:07:07,693
Or this could come
as a painful blow.
113
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,264
Wait a second.
What's gonna
happen to Mark?
114
00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,433
He's a good mechanic.
He'll find something.
115
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,369
You are gonna help him
find another job,
aren't you?
116
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,606
I don't have a job
117
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,676
And your mother
doesn't have a job,
118
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:26,845
But we'll make Mark
our first priority.
119
00:07:26,913 --> 00:07:30,015
How is he gonna pay the rent?
He has an apartment.
120
00:07:30,083 --> 00:07:34,053
Looks like you're back
to making heel marks on
the ceiling of his car, Beck.
121
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:37,122
Shut up, dar.
122
00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:39,825
You know, Beck,
123
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,761
I don't know why, but
I thought maybe the first words
out of your mouth might be,
124
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:46,265
"sorry you lost your business,
dad. We know how much
it meant to you."
125
00:07:46,332 --> 00:07:51,036
I guess it's gonna sound
a lot less sincere now
when I say it.
126
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,175
This is great.
This is just great.
Hey!
127
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:58,677
Let it go.
It ain't worth it.
128
00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:02,681
So do you have anything
that you want to say?
129
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,385
Can I have a pony?
130
00:08:09,889 --> 00:08:12,057
Bye.
131
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,728
Mom?
Yeah?
132
00:08:15,795 --> 00:08:19,231
If you want it, I still
have some birthday money
I hid in my closet.
133
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:21,233
Ohh.
134
00:08:21,301 --> 00:08:23,936
No, you don't,
but thanks anyway, Deej.
135
00:08:33,780 --> 00:08:37,116
Mark?
Mm-hmm?
136
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,219
How about that new garage
on Waukegan Road?
137
00:08:40,286 --> 00:08:42,654
Come on, Becky.
138
00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:48,560
No, I stopped there for gas,
and it took a really long time
for someone to come out.
139
00:08:48,628 --> 00:08:52,064
I think they might
need somebody.
Maybe it was self-serve.
140
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:57,302
Okay, okay.
141
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,205
We can talk more
about this tomorrow.
142
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:04,076
I got to go in.
This isn't exactly
the time to miss curfew.
143
00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:07,579
Bye.
144
00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:11,383
I did get
one job offer.
145
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,285
You're kidding.
Where?
146
00:09:13,353 --> 00:09:16,789
Rick called me today
from Minneapolis.
147
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:21,093
Yeah?
Well, there's an opening
where he works.
148
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,662
The job's mine
if I want it.
149
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:27,966
Well, do you want it?
150
00:09:28,034 --> 00:09:30,669
Well, it pays 3 times
what I made working
for your dad.
151
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:32,805
They'd let me
join the union.
I'd be set.
152
00:09:35,442 --> 00:09:39,378
Why are you telling me
this now? We've been
together all afternoon.
153
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,513
I don't know. I guess
I just didn't know
how to tell you.
154
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:44,149
You knew how to tell me.
155
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:46,952
You just wanted to get me
in bed one last time
before you dumped me.
156
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:49,488
What are you talking about?
You just didn't
want me mad at you.
157
00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:52,324
You're always mad at me,
and that's never
stopped us before.
158
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:57,763
Besides, I'm not dumping you.
What do you call
moving to Minneapolis?
159
00:09:57,831 --> 00:10:01,567
It doesn't mean
we have to break up.
Yeah, well, think about it.
160
00:10:01,634 --> 00:10:04,169
I mean, you're gonna out there,
partying with your friends.
161
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,605
You're gonna meet
somebody else,
162
00:10:06,673 --> 00:10:08,841
And I'm gonna be
stuck down here
spending my nights
163
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:12,711
Watching Bonanza
with Dan and Roseanne!
No way!
164
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:16,548
Hey, I didn't say
I was gonna go.
165
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,550
Look,
166
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,953
If you don't want me
to take the job,
167
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,022
I won't take it.
168
00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,659
I can't tell you
what to do.
169
00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,633
Don't go.
170
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:42,508
Okay.
Yeah, sure.
171
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:44,610
I won't go.
172
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,713
You mean it?
You won't?
173
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:50,349
I said so, didn't I?
174
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:53,085
Oh, I love you
so much.
175
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:00,693
Subtle, mom.
176
00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:03,462
Look, I got to
go in.
177
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:05,597
So what are you
doing tomorrow?
178
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:09,101
[scoffs]
guess I'm looking
for a job.
179
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,371
Well, I'll come with.
180
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:17,509
Hey, everything's gonna
be great, okay?
181
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,850
Bye.
182
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,963
� [theme from Bonanza]
183
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,707
[Roseanne]
these cereal bowls aren't gonna
clean themselves, Darlene.
184
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,343
Did you hear me?
Darlene?
185
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:54,580
Darlene!
Mom wants you.
186
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,716
Bite me.
187
00:11:57,784 --> 00:11:59,718
Uh-oh.
188
00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:02,187
Somebody needs
a hug!
189
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,423
Just go away, okay?
190
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,593
What's wrong with you?
Nothing.
I'm just tired.
191
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:11,397
No wonder.
You were tossing
and turning all night.
192
00:12:11,464 --> 00:12:13,699
What, do you watch me
while I sleep?
193
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:17,169
Yes, Becky.
You fascinate me.
194
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:21,206
You know, sometimes
the drool on your pillow...
195
00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,942
It isn't always yours.
196
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:27,813
God, I hate you.
Just go to school.
197
00:12:27,881 --> 00:12:30,883
Aren't you gonna
give me a ride?
I'm not going.
198
00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:33,886
You'll have to get to
detention by yourself today.
199
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:36,588
You're cutting school?
200
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:40,325
But you like high school,
Becky, remember?
You're a geek.
201
00:12:40,393 --> 00:12:43,529
I'm helping Mark
find a job.
202
00:12:43,596 --> 00:12:48,167
Oh, that's a great idea.
I'll cut too and help him
find his shoes.
203
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,804
I'm going along for
the support, Darlene.
204
00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,806
I don't know why
you even bother.
205
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,108
It's not like
anybody's gonna hire
the amazing idiot boy.
206
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:59,044
Oh, yeah? Well,
the amazing idiot boy
207
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,447
Got offered a great job
in Minneapolis.
208
00:13:01,514 --> 00:13:03,615
Then why is
he still looking?
209
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:06,685
Because he decided to find
something around Lanford.
210
00:13:07,821 --> 00:13:09,922
Wait a minute.
211
00:13:09,989 --> 00:13:13,392
You mean, he had a chance
to get out of this hole,
and he's not?
212
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,662
God, he just made king
of the idiot boys.
213
00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,298
He's doing it
for me, okay?
214
00:13:19,366 --> 00:13:22,634
He said he'd stay
if I wanted him to,
and I said stay.
215
00:13:22,702 --> 00:13:24,303
Good boy, Mark!
216
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:27,673
Hey, maybe now you can
train him not to drink
out of the toilet.
217
00:13:27,741 --> 00:13:29,842
I didn't force him.
He asked me.
218
00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,011
Hey, relax, Becky.
It's not like I care.
219
00:13:32,078 --> 00:13:35,614
God, why in the hell
do I talk to you?
I know what I'm doing.
220
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:39,518
Oh, sure. I mean, actually
you're doing him a favor
by keeping him here.
221
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:42,488
Now when he
fulfills his destiny
as a big, fat loser,
222
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:44,623
He'll have someone
to blame.
223
00:13:51,598 --> 00:13:54,233
Listen to this.
"Mavis Mcgowan, 64,
224
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,301
"beloved wife of Arthur,
sister of Helen,
225
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:58,637
"of a heart attack
Tuesday morning.
226
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,640
Cherished long-time
receptionist at
the Lanford clinic."
227
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,610
Oh, that's too bad.
228
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:08,147
But I couldn't be
a receptionist.
You got to know how to type.
229
00:14:08,214 --> 00:14:10,716
Read me another one.
I can't believe we
didn't find anything.
230
00:14:10,784 --> 00:14:13,952
I mean, 11 people
with perfectly good jobs
died last week.
231
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,856
Well, I'm not qualified
for those jobs.
232
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:22,094
Didn't somebody get their head
caught in an orange julius
machine or something?
233
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:24,163
Hang in there.
We'll keep looking.
234
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,165
Oh, there's nothing
to choose from.
235
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:28,267
It's too bad there's not
a holiday weekend coming up.
236
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:37,509
Roseanne, there's
a printing company moving
into the old wilman plant.
237
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:40,112
So?
So, listen to this.
"no experience required.
238
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,048
No references needed.
No training necessary""
239
00:14:43,116 --> 00:14:46,552
Wow! Hurray, at last!
A crappy job!
240
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,620
When's the interview?
This morning at 10.
241
00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:52,191
Oh, well, I can't go,
because I told Dan
I'd be down at the shop.
242
00:14:52,258 --> 00:14:55,260
You know, it's the last day.
Oh, well, you can be
a little late for that.
243
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:59,298
Or I'll cover for you.
I swear, I'll sell
my butt off.
244
00:14:59,366 --> 00:15:01,266
Maybe the interview
wouldn't take that long.
245
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:03,569
Yeah, come on.
Let me do it for you.
246
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:05,637
Please, let me
do it for you.
247
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:08,574
God, is this what
you're like on a date?
248
00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,544
Well, I'm gone.
249
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:15,080
Isn't Becky
driving you to school?
250
00:15:15,148 --> 00:15:17,783
No, not today.
Why not?
251
00:15:17,851 --> 00:15:19,952
She had some stuff to do.
It's no biggie.
252
00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,388
But she is going
to school, right?
253
00:15:22,455 --> 00:15:24,723
Well, of course she is.
254
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,859
Yeah.
255
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,129
I want you to look
into my eyes and tell me
that you're not lying.
256
00:15:30,196 --> 00:15:32,064
Mom, that only
works on D.J.
257
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,466
Then you have nothing
to worry about.
258
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:39,638
I'm not lying.
259
00:15:39,706 --> 00:15:42,474
Hmm, hmm.
260
00:15:44,110 --> 00:15:46,178
Well, I know everything
I need to know.
261
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,614
You can go.
262
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:54,319
Was she lying?
I don't know.
It only works on D.J.
263
00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,556
Becky, get down here!
264
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:01,060
Now, Roseanne, you got
to get to the interview.
You don't have time for a fight.
265
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:04,763
It's not a fight.
It's-it's an ambush.
266
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:08,300
Morning, everybody.
Great day to go
belly-up, isn't it?
267
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,836
Boy, you're in
good spirits.
268
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:14,940
Well, it just feels like one
of those days that starts off
with a hearty breakfast
269
00:16:15,008 --> 00:16:17,142
And ends with some guy
on the news saying,
270
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,144
"before turning
the gun on himself..."
271
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,414
So now I have to
make you breakfast?
Honey,
272
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:25,451
I won't have
the strength to reload.
273
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,553
All right. Sit down.
I'll fix you something.
274
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:29,855
Well, better make it
quick, Roseanne.
Got to get going.
275
00:16:29,923 --> 00:16:33,325
Going where?
Well, I got
a job interview.
276
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:36,495
Honey, today's
the last day at the shop.
I need you to help out.
277
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,732
Well, I know that,
but Jackie will be there.
278
00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:42,468
Yeah, but you
know the inventory.
She doesn't know what goes.
279
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,636
Well, I'll
fill her in, okay?
280
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,638
Everything goes.
Got it.
281
00:16:46,706 --> 00:16:50,275
I'm gonna go home and change,
and I'll meet you
down at the shop.
282
00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:53,645
Roseanne, it's gonna be
a really tough day for me.
I need you down there.
283
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,448
Can't you do this tomorrow?
The job might not
be there tomorrow.
284
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:59,118
Well, I sure as hell
know the shop won't.
285
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:01,286
Well, Dan, what are
we talking about?
286
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,123
An hour, for crying out loud?
I got to get a job, don't I?
287
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:07,659
Isn't that part of the plan?
You're acting like
I'm cutting out on you.
288
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,529
[loudly]
it's not like I'm trying to
ditch school or anything.
289
00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:14,767
Jeez. I'm gonna
kill Darlene.
290
00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:18,270
And then as soon as you
do that, you are gonna
go to school, right?
291
00:17:18,338 --> 00:17:20,406
I can't.
I'm gonna be with Mark.
292
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:22,875
Yeah. I don't know
about you, Roseanne,
293
00:17:22,942 --> 00:17:24,943
But I'm sure tired
of hearing about Mark.
294
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:27,780
I'd like to hear
a little bit more about how
Becky's going to school today.
295
00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,916
Well, she's not.
I don't have time for this.
You've got to go to school.
296
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,485
You don't understand.
I don't have to understand!
Just go!
297
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,623
Oh, Dan, you're mad at me
and you're taking it out
on Becky.
298
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:39,692
Keep going.
299
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:45,764
You know, you act like
you're the only ones
with problems around here.
300
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:48,467
Boy!
301
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:52,104
You are the most
selfish piece of work
I have ever seen in my life!
302
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,173
Do you have any idea
what we're going through?
303
00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:57,109
Do you have any idea
what I'm going through?
304
00:17:57,177 --> 00:18:00,779
Today may be the last day
I'll ever see Mark again, okay?
305
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:03,849
What are you talking about?
He got a job offer
in Minneapolis,
306
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:07,753
And I'm telling him
to take it, and it's
all 'cause of you.
307
00:18:07,821 --> 00:18:10,155
Excuse me?
If you knew how
to run a business,
308
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:13,492
He'd still have a job
and he wouldn't be leaving.
309
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:16,695
Now I don't have Mark,
I don't have college,
I don't have anything!
310
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:19,398
You blew it, dad!
You blew it for everyone
in this family!
311
00:18:19,466 --> 00:18:23,168
Becky, you shut up!
Come on, mother!
You know it!
312
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:27,473
Everybody knows it.
I'm the only one
with the guts to say it.
313
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,576
[door opens, slams]
314
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,548
That is not true, Dan.
315
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:40,519
I would have the guts
to say it.
316
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,294
[Jackie]
attention, shoppers.
Blue-light special.
317
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:52,131
For the next 10 minutes,
all fork braces
318
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:55,034
Are going for...
319
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:57,936
Much less than
they are now!
320
00:18:58,004 --> 00:19:01,306
How much for bumper hitches?
Son, pick one out
and we'll talk.
321
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:04,543
Look, man,
you're closing up
the place, right?
322
00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:07,680
Now, do you think
anybody's gonna walk in here
in the next few hours
323
00:19:07,747 --> 00:19:10,015
And offer you
this much cash
for that bike?
324
00:19:10,083 --> 00:19:12,384
Nobody with your
boyish charm.
325
00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:14,219
All right.
Tell you what.
326
00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,622
2,250, for your pride.
327
00:19:16,690 --> 00:19:19,525
Sold.
328
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:22,361
Hey, Dan.
Hey, gil.
329
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,997
How you doin', buddy?
Oh, worst day
of my life, thanks.
330
00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,901
We all feel
pretty bad about what
you're going through.
331
00:19:28,968 --> 00:19:31,737
We just want you to
let us know if there's
anything we can do.
332
00:19:31,805 --> 00:19:34,273
Hey, you know that guy
that just left here,
333
00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,275
He's getting on
his bike right now?
334
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,977
His registration is
way past due.
335
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,348
Yeah? You want
lights and sirens?
336
00:19:42,415 --> 00:19:44,550
How about something
in a hail of gunfire?
337
00:19:44,617 --> 00:19:46,618
We'll see what
we can do.
I'm just kidding.
338
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,088
Hey, Dan.
Hey, Crys, what are
you doing down here?
339
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:52,391
Oh, I just thought
I'd come down, browse around,
see if there's anything I need.
340
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:54,326
Crystal, you don't
have to do that.
341
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,662
This isn't charity,
Dan.
342
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:59,298
I need this.
343
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:01,800
Crystal, you don't
need a bike seat.
344
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,336
I really need
this bike seat, Dan.
Now, how much do I owe you?
345
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,438
$200.
346
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:09,575
For that thing?
Well, no wonder you're
going out of business, Dan.
347
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,147
Hey, Roseanne,
tell me you're
employed.
348
00:20:15,215 --> 00:20:18,017
Hey, Jackie,
tell me you're married.
349
00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:20,552
Oh, no.
What happened?
350
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:24,390
What happened was that
400 people showed up
for 6 jobs.
351
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:27,426
So I'm standing there
for 3 hours drinking coffee
352
00:20:27,494 --> 00:20:31,397
Just so some punk kid
can ask me if I have
any special skills.
353
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,899
I told him, yeah,
bladder control.
354
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,935
Hi, Crystal.
Hey.
355
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:40,072
Hey...
[baby talk]
356
00:20:40,140 --> 00:20:42,541
They just love
their new fork braces.
357
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,377
Yeah, well,
they're at that age.
358
00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:49,548
So how's it going
around here?
359
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,750
Well, we are about
out of business.
360
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,287
So it's a success?
How's Dan taking it?
361
00:20:55,355 --> 00:20:58,023
[baby crying]
like a man.
362
00:20:58,091 --> 00:21:00,626
That bad, huh?
363
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:03,395
[imitating engine]
364
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,935
Aw, come on, Dan.
365
00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:13,572
Biggest day in
the history of the shop,
366
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,674
And the best I can do
is not lose my house.
367
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:18,644
[chuckles]
the '90s. Who knew?
368
00:21:20,046 --> 00:21:23,215
This was my one shot.
Oh, you don't know that.
369
00:21:23,283 --> 00:21:25,651
[inhales deeply]
rose, this sucks.
370
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,986
Nothing you can say is
gonna make it any better.
371
00:21:28,054 --> 00:21:31,623
So you just want to
wallow for a while?
Yes.
372
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:34,526
Okay, well, then when
you're done wallowing,
373
00:21:34,594 --> 00:21:37,763
We'll go home, and, well,
I'll light some candles
374
00:21:37,831 --> 00:21:40,532
And put on some soft music,
and then we'll slip into bed
375
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:43,535
And I'll rub your feet
and then I'll rub your back
376
00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:45,537
And then... You know.
377
00:21:45,605 --> 00:21:48,107
Or we could go to lobo
and get drunk.
378
00:21:48,174 --> 00:21:50,909
Oh, okay!
[phone ringing]
379
00:21:54,014 --> 00:21:55,948
Lanford cycle.
380
00:21:56,016 --> 00:21:58,650
Yeah, I'll accept
the charges.
381
00:21:58,718 --> 00:22:00,986
Becky, where are you?
382
00:22:01,054 --> 00:22:03,856
Minnesota?
What's she doing in Minnesota?
What's going on?
383
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:06,558
What the hell
are you talking about? What
do you mean, you got married?
384
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:10,329
Give me that phone.
Becky!
385
00:22:10,397 --> 00:22:12,731
Mom...
386
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,602
Mom, come on.
387
00:22:23,443 --> 00:22:26,679
So, uh, how'd it go?
388
00:22:26,746 --> 00:22:28,681
Okay.
389
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,783
Better than
I expected.
390
00:22:38,124 --> 00:22:40,125
[engine revs]
391
00:22:45,999 --> 00:22:48,133
[Roseanne]Becky! Becky...
392
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:50,169
Is thissome kind of joke?
393
00:22:50,236 --> 00:22:52,171
If you're not really married,I'm gonna kill you!
394
00:22:52,238 --> 00:22:56,308
And if you are really married,I'm gonna kill you.
395
00:22:56,376 --> 00:22:58,711
Becky! Becky!
396
00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:04,950
Becky, this isthe stupidest thingyou've ever done!
397
00:23:05,018 --> 00:23:09,121
You get your butt back hereright now, do you hear me?
398
00:23:09,189 --> 00:23:11,256
Okay, okay, okay.
399
00:23:11,324 --> 00:23:14,893
What I meant was,it's not too late to come home.
400
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:17,563
We aren't mad at you. We justwant to know you're safe.
401
00:23:20,033 --> 00:23:22,534
Becky, are you listening?Talk to me.
402
00:23:22,602 --> 00:23:25,571
Becky, I know you're there.I can hear you breathing.
44980
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