Original subtitles

Excuse me, officer.

I'm the sister of the homeowner.

There hasn't been a murder or anything?

Oh, no, no, ma'am. Nothing like that.

Good.

Michael, Michael, I have terrible news.

Is it, uh, worse than having your house

and bank account cleaned out by a lap dancer?

Yes.

Mom is coming for a visit.

She'll be here the day after tomorrow.

You know, Jennifer, you really had me going there.

No, no. Michael, Michael, Michael.

This is a disaster.

Yeah, well, for you, maybe.

But Mom's already paid me a visit.

Okay? She's seen where I live

and met a few of my ex-dead wives.

She's coming here to meet Craig.

She thinks we're engaged.

Engaged? I thought that jerk skipped town.

Well, it's-it's sort of complicated.

Oh...

Okay, well, she wouldn't stop talking

about all the young, eligible men back in New Jersey,

and how if I lived there, I'd be married by now.

So, I embellished a little.

Oh. How about this?

Mom loves sightseeing, right?

So take her to Rodeo Drive, the La Brea Tar Pits...

Take her to Universal Studios.

That way, she'll be too busy to meet Craig.

Great idea, if I had a car.

But Craig stole mine at gunpoint.

Do you know what it cost me to take a taxi here?

That slime bucket. He belongs in jail.

You better make sure you file a police report.

Oh, Michael, I just want to erase Craig from my memory.

Well, erase him after you get your car back.

That's what I'm going to do with Amber

after I get my stuff back.

How's a guy supposed to fall asleep

without a wife or a TV set?

Oh, forget about the damn water.

What do you know about Christine?

Okay. Truth?

I wasn't being completely honest with you

when I said I'd never heard of the woman.

What a surprise.

Well, it's not like I share everything with you.

But, yes,

I did hear Kyle call out her name occasionally.

And yes,

I figured that, uh, he was once involved with her.

In fact, I caught him rummaging

through his old Marine foot locker

a couple times, back in Boston,

and when I asked him about it, he just clammed up.

So I have always suspected that there were some old photos

or old love letters of Christine in there.

And this foot locker, where is it now?

Don't know.

Kyle did bring it out when we moved to L.A.

Hmm. It could be in the laundry room

with all the other junk he didn't have room for.

Sweetheart?

Taylor.

What are you doing here?

Where have you been the last couple of days?

Well, I was in Vegas. But it sure wasn't the same

without you, baby.

No, no. Don't start with me. Don't start.

It was just an observation.

Besides, if I hadn't, uh, checked on your poor Amanda,

she'd still be face-down on the floor.

Oh, it-it was no big deal.

I got a little ambitious, and I tripped.

And Taylor did come along and...

And I rescued you. Well, that's...

Thank you so much, but now it's time for you to leave.

Nighty-night, Amanda. I enjoyed our little girl talk.

So, where were you really, Taylor?

And don't lie to me.

I can always tell when you are lying.

No, you can't.

Besides, I thought we were trying to disengage,

which means you don't get to know all about

the great sex I've been having lately,

any more than I need to know what goes on

between you and Amanda behind closed doors.

Course, it must be pretty limited since her accident.

Hey, you can always read a magazine, though, right?

Hmm?

Night.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ It's another sunny day and the world looks bright ♪

♪ Sleeping way past noon makes me feel all right ♪

♪ The tunes in my car, cruising down the street ♪

♪ Watching girls walking by like they're all in a movie ♪

♪ I'm always smiling, yeah ♪

♪ It's good to be alive ♪

♪ Even when I'm barely crawling on the 405 ♪

♪ It's the middle of winter, and it's 85 ♪

♪ And my friend said he'd buy me lunch down on Rodeo Drive ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love this town ♪

♪ Where life is like TV ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, people all around ♪

♪ Say there's no place they'd rather be ♪

♪ Yeah, there's no place ♪

♪ No place like L.A. ♪

♪ No place, no place like L.A. ♪

♪ Yeah, there's no place ♪

♪ No place like L.A. ♪

♪ No place ♪

♪ No place like L.A. ♪

Hey. Ah.

I just ran into your physical therapist.

He said that you had a wonderful workout.

Well, I've got incentive.

I'm going to be walking down the aisle soon, remember?

Oh, I can't think about anything else.

You know, you didn't sleep very well last night.

Ugh! You were, um, calling out that woman's name again.

Christine? What's going on?

I told you it's nothing.

I got it.

Hey. Kyle, morning.

Amanda, you wanted to see us? Yup.

All right, I'm going to go hop in the shower.

Don't tire her out. You look great.

Are you gonna be coming back to the office soon?

I hope so. Then I could keep

a closer eye on your expense accounts.

Are you talking about the $2,000 we spent on the charity event?

We were trying to land Jeff Baylor.

Yeah, the Flash Sporting Goods campaign.

Well, it's worth every penny if you landed him.

Well, not yet.

Not exactly.

But he... kind of hit it off with Sam.

Well, then use that,

and take him out to dinner tonight...

Someplace really expensive... And close the deal.

I can't do it tonight. I got a client.

It's up to Sam.

You don't have a problem with that, do you?

No. No, not at all.

Okay.

Oh, I love it!

Oh. Oh, Daddy, I love the space.

This is beautiful!

I just... I don't know how to thank you for all of this.

As long as you're happy, that's all the thanks I need.

Oh, you're so...

Coop, what... what are you doing here?

Relax. I'm-I'm having lunch with your father.

Actually, I was hoping you could join us, Lexi.

There's a lot to discuss now

that the two of you are going to be business partners.

What?!

Yeah, your-your father's buying my company.

Deal's been in the works for days.

Oh, well, this is the first that I've heard about this.

Oh.

Daddy, why? Why are you doing this?

Well, 'cause Coop's more than just my former son-in-law.

He's my friend, and I help my friends.

Besides, I got the company for a song,

and I stand to make a great deal of money.

Mm. Well, you... you couldn't possibly be all right with this?

Well, other than seeing more of you than I'd like,

I'm-I'm perfectly fine with it.

Huh.

You know, Daddy, Peter told me what you said to him

the other night at dinner, but

you couldn't possibly be trying to break us up now, could you?

I'll-I'll wait in the lobby. I...

No, we don't want to be late for our reservation.

Lexi, this Burns fellow sounds a little paranoid to me,

but if you love him, I love him.

I'd never do anything to try and break you up.

So, this is where you play baseball?

Yep.

Where are all these Jeff Baylor groupies

I've been reading about in the newspaper?

Well, the season's over.

This time of year, they just hang around the house.

No, seriously, Sam, if we're going to be working together,

I want you to know everything about me.

You know, what turns me on, what turns me off.

Come on, I already know what turns you off...

Talking business in stuffy restaurants.

Yeah, and dressing like an accountant.

Matter of fact...

This... This is what turns me on.

Baseball.

How did you do that?

Yeah, I got connections.

And I figured you might want to pitch a few,

seeing as how we drove all the way over here,

and you were such a big star back at Crisfield High.

Oh, come on, like I can play baseball in high heels.

Well, take 'em off.

Well, nobody plays baseball barefooted.

What, you never heard of Shoeless Joe Jackson?

Huh?

Of course, if you're afraid you lost your touch...

No way. It's my fastball that got to you, remember?

Well, then, stop bitching and start pitching.

Batter up.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, my God.

That was for you, Sam.

Just don't tell your husband that I scored with you.

All right, gentlemen, let's give it up for Tanya.

Hey, pal, this dressing room's off limits to customers.

It's all right. I'm a doctor and a friend of Amber's.

Is she around?

Up and quit without notice.

But doctor or not, you'd better get out.

I know she's here. I'll wait.

I'm going to count to one and then throw you out.

Hey, Amber ripped me off,

and I'm not leaving till I wring her thieving neck.

The broad quit, and she didn't leave no forwarding address.

Told you.

Now beat it. You know what?

I think you're in on it with her. You all are.

Hey, come...

Hey.

"Three Musketeers.

Nick, Kyle and Christine."

Amanda?

Amanda?

Hey, didn't you hear me calling?

I've been looking all over for you.

I was worried. Oh.

I couldn't sleep without you,

so I thought I'd do some laundry.

You just got out of the hospital.

There is no laundry, no cleaning, no work, period.

Those are the rules.

Right, I'm sorry, I wasn't even thinking. Um...

why don't you help me upstairs?

I will do you one better than that.

Aah! You all right?

Uh-huh. All right.

Door-to-bed service... That's my motto.

How about the laundry?

Oh, forget it.

I already have.

Morning.

You're up early.

It just seems like it's early, 'cause you were up so late.

Ah, I know, I'm sorry.

I would have called, but...

There was no phone at the restaurant?

Actually, there was no phone at the Sentinels' stadium.

What were you doing in Orange County?

I was working.

It was so cool.

I even pitched a few to Jeff.

Oh, you should see the way he swings that bat.

Sounds more like playing than working.

You're still not wearing your wedding ring.

How convenient for you.

I haven't had time to pick it up

at the jewelry store.

What's the matter with you?

Don't you trust me?

Just tell me you signed the guy.

He's coming by the office this afternoon.

You satisfied?

I'll get it, since you probably don't have any time.

Hello.

Listen, I got a big favor to ask.

I need $500 to bail Michael out of jail.

Michael's in jail?

Yeah, but it's not a capital offense or anything.

He'll pay you back.

Well, we would give it to you

if we had it or even anything close to it.

Yeah, we spent too much money on the wedding.

Samantha's dress.

Oh, please. What is your problem?

Right, well, can I at least borrow one of your cars?

Because I have to pick my mother up from the airport

and Craig stole mine.

What do you mean, he stole it?

Didn't I tell you? Oh.

The other night he put a gun to my head

and forced me to hand over the keys

and then split for parts unknown.

Oh, my God.

Are you all right?

Yeah, better than I will be once my mother gets here.

Take mine. I'll ride with Samantha,

long as she's not taking batting practice this morning.

Thanks, Billy, too bad I can't borrow you, too.

My mother's expecting to meet my fiancé Craig.

But you and Craig weren't even...

Yeah, I know.

See you.

Come on, Megan, talk to me.

Look, if this is about getting Amber drunk the other night

or sabotaging.

Michael's career or whatever, I already told you.

I-I'm completely innocent.

Michael's in jail.

Oh, what'd he do this time, rob an ATM?

He asked Jennifer to bail him out, okay?

She doesn't have the cash, so she came to me and I refused,

and now I'm, I'm just... I'm feeling guilty.

Well, don't.

You did the right thing.

Hey, how about dinner tonight?

No, I don't think so.

What, is that like a blanket no?

No, it's just a.

"I, uh, I need space and I hope you understand" no.

Oh, well, then I'll ask you again tomorrow.

Oh, there's so much that I want to see.

The Tonight Show... Oh, that Jay Leno is so cute.

Italian, you know.

And I cannot wait, of course, to meet my future son-in-law.

Not Italian, but still handsome, well-educated, rich...

From everything you've told me.

Hey, you want a cannoli?

Ah, come on, your father made 'em special.

No, Ma, not while I'm driving.

Uh, there's something you should know.

Say, you know what I did?

I sent away for one of those star maps.

If I do nothing else, I have got to see Dean Martin's house.

Ma, he's dead.

He will always be alive in my heart.

I know how much you love Michael,

your firstborn, your only son,

and how nothing he could do

could possibly ever change that, right?

Please, please, God,

you are only stopping to ask directions, right?

You sure took your sweet time getting here.

Sorry, but it took me a while to raise your bail money.

Yeah, where'd you end up getting it?

Actually, someone who really loves you gave it to me.

Really?

It was Megan, wasn't it?

No, but the name does start with an "M."

Turn around.

Mom, you're looking well.

Please, Mom, not Italian.

Ooh... oh.

Hey, honey, just picked it up at the jeweler,

and I'd appreciate you putting it back on

before we meet with Jeff Baylor.

This is getting out of control.

What, what? It's back on. See?

You're my wife.

I'm gonna tell Mr. Baylor that right now,

even if he is the biggest catch of my career.

Hey, Billy, I can't tell you how excited I am about all this.

Yeah, Jeff, there's something you need to know

before you sign your deal, okay?

Sam and I are married, okay?

She's my wife,

so if that makes any difference to you...

Why would Sam's marital status be an issue?

Oh, give me a break. She's a beautiful woman, okay?

And she throws a mean fastball.

Okay, you got me, we did connect.

What?

Not like that. What I mean is,

is that I feel comfortable with you.

Matter of fact, I don't want to sign the deal unless

Billy can guarantee that you're the lead on the account...

and my personal representative.

Sorry, I apologize for flying off the handle.

Sam is a... she's a graphic artist, she's not an executive.

As far as my client's concerned, Mr. Campbell,

Sam's involved or we're not.

I see.

So... do we have a deal?

Welcome aboard.

Um...

this is supposed to be a celebration,

you know, my first night out.

You haven't said two words.

Is there a problem?

Yeah.

Why were you sneaking around my foot locker?

How'd you know about that?

First answer the question.

I was worried about you,

all the nightmares you've been having,

and you refused to talk about it.

And that woman in your dreams... Christine.

That's why I went through your foot locker.

I was hoping to find out something about her.

All right.

Look, you know, I-I, I didn't mean to shut you out.

I just didn't think that it was time...

to tell you about Christine.

And you don't have to tell me about her now,

but I saw the photo.

Three Musketeers.

So...

you know that I met her in the Gulf.

I was stationed there in '91.

Right?

She was a Marine and, uh...

we fell in love.

Over there, everything was so intense

and it happened so quickly.

And we made all these plans for our future, and then...

There was an accident and, uh...

Christine was killed.

I'm sorry.

I've never told anybody that before.

I'm glad it was you,

'cause I don't want anything or anyone

to come in between the two of us.

You must have told Taylor.

No, I would remember that.

Well, she's the one who told me about Christine.

What do you m...

I'll be right back.

I want to see you in the kitchen now.

How the hell did you know about Christine?

Kyle, let go of my arm. You're hurting me.

Nick is the only person that knew about her.

That is why you asked me about him the other day, isn't it?

Oh, I hate Nick's guts.

Besides, we're hardly on speaking terms,

and if you recall, your friend Nick attacked me.

Taylor, you give me a straight answer

or you're going to spend the night in the freezer.

Okay, all right, all right, all right, all right,

all right, but this is not going to be easy for me to tell you,

because it's like water under an old bridge.

Freezer. Kyle, okay, all right, okay.

I know about Christine because...

Because?

Because she wrote you a letter years ago

when we were first married and living in Boston.

What letter?

The letter that I forgot to give you.

Okay, when I read it,

I was incredibly threatened by the woman

and your feelings for each other.

I am not proud of what I did, but...

What are you trying to pull, Taylor?

Christine died in the war.

I swear, Kyle, I never meant to hurt you.

And I know it's a few years too late, but...

I'm telling the truth, and I can prove it,

because I still have the letter.

Christine is alive.

Good morning. Hey.

Oh, hope I didn't wake you. I need my car keys.

Uh, yeah, they're right over here.

Thank you again for the loan. Mmm.

Don't tell me.

This handsome Romeo must be Craig.

Actually, Mom...

Welcome to the family, Craig.

Jennifer has told me so much about you.

Yeah. You must have me confused...

We were just about to have breakfast.

I brought the pastries from New Jersey.

Could you join us?

No.

I got an early meeting. I need my keys.

Oh, well, how about tomorrow night, huh?

We'll all go out for dinner.

Yeah, you, me, Jennifer, Michael. Yeah.

I'll call that no-good son of mine right now.

He's at the office, right?

Um, actually, Mom,

at-at this time, he's probably in surgery.

Fine. Then after breakfast,

you can drive me over to Michael's office.

But I... I have to pick up the rental car, and,

uh, what-what about Dean Martin's house?

Do not defend him.

This is between Michael and me.

Let's eat.

Nice to meet you, Craig. See you tomorrow night.

He's adorable.

Please.

I am begging you. Pretend to be Craig

until my mother goes back to New Jersey.

I have no idea what you're up to,

but the answer's no. Thank you.

I got to make a quick call.

It'll just be a minute.

But Jennifer... Uh, Mom, please.

I'm not home right now, so call back later or not.

No, no, Michael, it's me. Don't hang up.

Mom wants me to drive her over to your office,

only you don't have an office anymore.

Damn! What happened to sightseeing?

The only thing she's interested in seeing is you.

Geez, stall her.

Don't let her out the door.

I'm on my way over.

Okay. Okay.

Can I get you anything?

Um, make you some coffee?

No. No, thanks.

You've been reading that letter all night.

I know it's a shock to find out

after all these years that Christine's

alive, but...

Tell me.

Does this change things?

Between us, I mean?

No, not even close.

I love you, we're getting married.

This is ancient history.

Here.

What? It's your call.

If you want to read it, go ahead. Otherwise, toss it.

Because I don't need to see it again.

I'm gonna shower and get to the club.

Oh. Hi.

Go away. Oh!

I just came by to see how you were doing.

I'm fine. No, you're not.

Kyle gave you Christine's letter, didn't he?

Showed it to you?

I know. It's all that mushy stuff

about how they're soul mates.

How they were destined to be together forever.

Loves of each other's lives. Yuck.

I hope you told him to burn it.

That is none of your damn business.

And for the record, you are the lowest form

of life on this planet.

A liar who can't even lie without lying.

Okay, so I have a problem telling the truth.

Well, fine, but in the end, I did the right thing,

telling Kyle about the love of his life

and giving him that letter.

Well, you should be nominated for sainthood,

or maybe martyred.

Fine, give me your best shots.

But in case you didn't notice,

there's a return address on that envelope.

Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Personally, I would do anything

in my power to keep Kyle away

from the once great love of his life.

Especially if I had a disability like you do.

But then again, you and I never did agree on anything, did we?

No.

Bye. Bye.

Eh.

Do you like the green sweater or the red sweater?

You have such an eye for fashion.

What do you think?

I think that it's time you stopped stalling, all right?

Huh. I wonder who that could be.

Hey.

Um, after last night, I wasn't sure

you were even speaking to me, so I-I brought a peace offering.

Aw, the roses are incredible, don't you think, Ma?

I don't know. Did he bring my money?

Mom, I can explain everything, really.

Mm-hmm.

Put these in water, will you?

I am listening.

Okay.

Now, last night...

Last night was a case of mistaken identity.

You see, this patient of mine was experiencing chest pains,

and he called me.

The thing is, he was at a strip club at the time,

so I didn't want him to move,

so I had to go there to examine him.

Ma, I swear to you

on Aunt Rose's grave, it's the truth.

Some jerk that was hassling one of the dancers

was a dead ringer for me.

Assuming I believe

you would never trample on Aunt Rose's grave,

why is it that you don't want me to see your office?

Because I'm redecorating.

I mean, uh, my partners and I are-are redecorating.

You see, business is doing so great, and, uh,

well, you should see the plans we have.

But, uh, the thing is,

see, I don't want you to see them...

until we're done.

See? That way you can be proud of my accomplishments.

Ugh!

Okay.

Now, look at the time. I got to go.

Patients to see, money to make.

So, yeah, um, I want you guys to enjoy your sightseeing,

and I'll see you tonight at my place for dinner at 7:00, right?

We'll be there.

And tomorrow night,

we're all gonna have dinner with Craig,

unless of course you can't be there?

Oh, no, I wouldn't miss it.

Bye.

See, Mom, there's nothing to worry about.

Mind if I join you?

I read Christine's letter.

I think you should go to New Mexico and see her.

There's still time before the wedding.

What if I don't want to see her?

Come on, this woman meant so much to you.

No, I'm not gonna leave you alone, not even for one day.

I'll be fine. You need to do this.

Otherwise, I don't think we can move forward.

No. I don't need to do anything.

You know, I would marry you...

tonight if you would just say the word.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Are you asking me to do this for you?

Yeah. I guess I am.

Ah.

Well, then I will,

because I would do anything for you.

I love you.

And I will love you for the rest of my life.

I love you.

I got it.

Mancini residence.

Yes, this is Jennifer Mancini.

This is Detective Hillman, LAPD.

Your roommate told me where I could reach you.

The Santa Barbara County Sheriff's Department

contacted my office.

They found a car registered to you

on a side road near Goleta Beach.

Great. They found my car.

Do you know a Craig Field?

Yes.

Well, I'm sorry to inform you

that Mr. Field was found dead in the front seat of your car,

the victim of an apparent suicide.

Oh, my God.

No.

I left my card with your roommate.

If you could come down to the station tomorrow,

you know, I.D. the body, claim the car,

it would be really helpful.

Yeah, I'll, uh...

I'll do whatever I have to do.

Uh, but right now, I-I have to go.

Uh, Jennifer, is anything wrong?

I, uh... I just need a minute.

Excuse me. Jennifer.

I better go see what's wrong. Peel these.

No, no, no, Mom. Look. What?

No. We've gotten very close lately.

Yeah, but I... I should go. I should go.

All right.

What's wrong with you?

I thought the idea was

to make Mom think our lives were perfect.

Craig is dead.

He must have felt...

so hopeless, so... alone.

Just to drive up to the coast and...

end it all.

He was just 26.

Maybe if I'd...

What? Jennifer.

Huh? What could you have done?

Look, I don't mean any disrespect

to the dead, Jennifer, but the guy was scum.

I feel a lot better now, Michael.

I'm sorry.

How about this?

It takes a real chicken brain to take your own life.

Yeah. It's an act of cowardice.

Not to mention an act of aggression directed toward you.

Now, come on.

Will you listen to me?

Enough with the tears.

You're right.

No more crying.

Okay, good girl.

Okay.

Come here.

Thanks, Michael. It's okay.

Well... guess this means we're officially business partners.

Yet another one of life's little ironies.

Mm.

So, how long have you and Megan been sleeping together?

That's none of your business.

Well, considering you got me naked the first night we met...

Yeah, trust me, it's different with Megan.

We're-We're taking it slow.

We're...

we're dating.

Well, don't I feel cheated.

Now, Coop...

I'm glad that you finally found someone

that can put a smile back on that handsome

face of yours.

Yeah, right.

No, I'm being perfectly serious.

Considering I've found the man of my dreams.

What, Peter Burns?

Yeah.

Look, Coop, what do you say

we just put our battle shields down

and just let bygones be bygones, huh?

Hmm...

Yeah, I guess we could do that.

We got to do it...

for our sanity.

Come on, I'm tired of all this

bad blood between us.

Yeah, me, too. I mean, uh...

it takes more energy to hate you

than it does to like you just-just... a little.

What do you say we hug and...

make it official, hm?

Yeah, why not?

Oh...

Two suitcases? Just how long

are you planning on staying in New Mexico?

No, you're coming with me.

It's one for you, one for me.

No, I can't... I, um, I have physical therapy,

and I really think now is the time that you should be alone

with your feelings... and with Christine.

Do you have a parka?

It's gonna be cold.

Just missed you at the office.

Uh, still in Palm Springs.

Jeff and I have been working all day,

so I think I'm gonna get a room.

It's gonna be a late night. I'll call you later.

Love you.

Back to the 18th.

Will it be another birdie for Jeff Baylor?

He's lining up the shot.

It's a very important putt for Jeff Baylor.

And it's a birdie in the hole!

Now, if Jeff Baylor were ever to leave baseball,

golf might just be where he'll wind up.

And apparently, we've got a birdie

in the gallery for Jeff Baylor.

Don't we all wish we had a pretty girl

to follow us around the golf course?

Well, isn't this a surprise?

I haven't seen you in a while. Yeah, well,

I've been kind of busy lately.

We're gonna be three for dinner.

Make that four. No, Ma, just three.

What about Jennifer's fiancé, Craig?

Wait a second, I heard that Craig was...

Having dinner with clients.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, he works so hard.

The poor thing.

Right this way. Follow me.

Ma?

Oh, wait, there's Craig right over there.

I bet that his meeting got over early.

Sweetheart! Hi!

How did your meeting go?

Did you sell a lot of heart valves?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the heart valves,

they're going like hotcakes.

You know, if you got a broken heart,

ain't no valve gonna fix it.

You know, I'm kind of hungry... I think we should get back

to our table, bring this conversation over there, huh?

Taylor? Hm?

Oh, yeah, sure. Right this way.

Come on.

Ma, Ma, come on.

Yeah, Craig and I'll be there in just a minute.

Billy, I am in a terrible jam.

Craig is dead, and if my mother finds out...

He's dead? Yeah. It was awful.

He committed suicide on some beach in Santa Barbara

in the front seat of my car.

I know he had problems...

Maybe I should've done something.

He was a friend, uh, he was... he was my best man.

I'm feeling guilty, too.

Go get them. Mom, I'm...

Uh, but I don't have time for that right now,

because my mother's gonna go nuclear on me

if you don't sit down with us and pretend to be Craig.

Oh... that's morbid. No.

Oh, Billy,

I am begging you. I am desperate.

I will do anything you ask, anything, if you just do

this one thing for me.

You know I'm drunk.

Like I said, I'm desperate.

Well, it's not like I'm having dinner with Sam. Okay.

Great. Um, mind losing the wedding band?

The ring finger's the second body part

my mom looks at on a guy.

Oh. All right, no longer married.

Okay, well, I'll just

hold on to it, given your present condition.

I mean, what would Samantha say if you lost it?

Samantha who?

You know, you're the only woman I've ever met who's beautiful,

and can quote baseball stats.

Mm, it's been a long day.

Oh... I'm sorry, you're probably beat.

We should finish this in the morning.

Oh, no. Um, sure, but... what's your hurry?

Oh, I'm just beat, too... You know, all the sun

and the steak dinner and... all that wine.

I should be going.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa.

Uh, at least let me walk you to your room.

Uh, they have great security here.

Didn't you see all those guys

standing around in the blue uniforms?

Mm-mm.

I'm married.

Um, and, you're...

This just isn't right.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too. Good-bye.

Well, I'll just say it again.

Thank you very much for dinner...

Even though it was on me, thank you.

Did I tell you that I was married once?

No, but, uh, Jennifer mentioned it,

you know, in one of her letters, uh...

Yeah, well, you know, it only lasted 15 minutes.

But it was a beautiful marriage.

You know, there was really no fighting or bickering,

any of that.

No baseball players...

Pardon me?

I think Craig had a little too much to drink.

I mean, not that

he has a drinking problem or anything.

No, it was something I saw on TV.

Yeah. Uh... Uh-huh.

Ma, I'll be upstairs in a minute.

I just want to get Craig settled

in his apartment, you know.

Oh, sure. Come on, honey.

Hey, you know what?

Before you go, I want to...

I want you to know why it was only minutes and not years.

Come on, Craig... No, this is important.

I want to tell your mom this.

This is very important. I believe very strongly

in the institution of marriage...

Love and loyalty, fidelity,

all that stuff... Even if the woman

I love...

Believes in it, too.

Yeah.

Come on, honey, I'll walk you to your door.

You're very nice, Mrs. Mancini.

Very easy to talk to.

I hope you like me, too. Craig, that is.

Just make a lot of grandchildren for me, and I'll like you fine.

Good night, Craig.

All the best.

Keys. Okay.

I got 'em here somewhere.

One last favor.

My mother's watching. Kiss me.

Okay.

You've been a... a real pal tonight, Billy.

Uh... yeah.

What was that for?

I thought I saw your mom watching in the window.

I guess I am drunk.

Good night, Jennifer.

Good night.

Look, why don't I just wait in the car?

You sure?

We've come this far already.

I'm positive.

Go on.

Kyle?

Christine?

Oh, my God.