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Okay, kids, come on, come on.
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Everyone hold on to me.
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Not you, you pervert.
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Wow! This is so cool.
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Dad never lets us take the subway.
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Well, the entire city is in gridlock.
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I don't know who schedules a Gay Pride parade
8
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on the same day they're unveiling a Calvin Klein billboard.
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Gimme a dollar!
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Don't worry, kids, I'll take care of this.
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[SHOUTS] What am I, Santa Claus?
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You give ME a dollar!
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Yeah!
14
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You weren't even afraid of him.
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Oh, honey, just cause he yelled in my face?
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You obviously have never seen
17
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my mother watch The Price Is Right.
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Oh, it's creepy down here.
19
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Oh, honey, the subway's not creepy.
20
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It's just nobody gives a damn anymore.
21
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What do I do with my soda?
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Just leave it on the floor.
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[BABY CRIES]
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Oh, would you look at that poor woman
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with all those kids and bags.
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Hold your sister a minute.
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Excuse me. Can I give you a hand?
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[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
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Can I hold something for you? - [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
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Oh, wow.
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I would have given me the salami,
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but you're a lot cuter.
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[LAUGHS]
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You see, kids, one simple act of kindness,
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and already the world is a better place.
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[SHOUTING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
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This is America. She could speak English.
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[PASSENGERS CLAMORING]
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Oh, good, a seat.
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Yeah. Yes, you're such a doll.
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You're such a doll.
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That's right. Shayna punim.
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[SHOUTING]
44
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Oh, what ashayna punim.
45
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What a littlebubbeleh.
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Uh, excuse me... Yentl?
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Yeah? What?
48
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Where's the mother?
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Oh, my God.
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She abandoned her baby.
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[GASPS] What is this world coming to?
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The salami, she guards with her life.
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Fran, what are we gonna do?
54
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Oh, you poor, defenseless little thing.
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Ow!
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Someone's hungry.
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Can you believe that wasn't the first time
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that ever happened to me in the subway.
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
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♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪
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♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪
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♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪
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♪ In one Of those Crushing scenes ♪
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♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪
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♪ She was out on her fanny ♪
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♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪
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♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪
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♪ She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more ♪
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♪ She had style, she had flair, she was there ♪
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♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪
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♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪
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♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪
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♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪
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♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪
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♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪
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♪ Such joie de vivre ♪
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♪ She's the lady in red ♪
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♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪
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♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪
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♪ The nanny named Fran ♪
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Oh, I can't believe I'm holding a baby.
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If only you came with a husband and a house in Great Neck.
83
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Okay, we gotta act fast here.
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Gracie, go bring down your pink blanket.
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Not my blankie.
86
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Oh, God, I can't believe you still have that thing.
87
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And, Brighton, bring down the Snoopy up in your closet.
88
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What Snoopy in my closet?
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You know, you're just like my mother.
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"What Nestlé's Crunch bar under my NordicTrack?"
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Go.
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Oh, what a day I had today. [BABY CRIES]
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Mm, let me guess.
94
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Yard sale at Mia Farrow's?
95
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Oh.
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Oh, ho.
97
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Oh, Maggie, go see if you can find some bottles.
98
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Niles, do we have any old nipples around the house?
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Hello, hello.
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Good afternoon, C.C., Niles, Miss Fine, baby.
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[BABY CRIES]
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Why?
103
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Some woman just abandoned this baby on the subway.
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I'll tell you it's a good thing I was there,
105
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or he could have been found by some wacko.
106
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You know, one of those people
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who walk around talking to themselves.
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Although, what the hell I'm gonna do with a baby,
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I'll never know.
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I'll call 911.
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What kind of evil, cold-hearted woman
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abandons a poor little defenseless creature?
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Oh, that reminds me.
114
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Yellow Cab called, you left your dog in the taxi...
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again.
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Oh, my God.
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That's where I left my Gucci umbrella.
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Ten to one she comes back with the Gucci and not the poochie.
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OPERATOR [OVER PHONE]: Hello, you've reached emergency 911.
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To report a murder, press 1.
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For a mugging, press 2.
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For bomb threats below 34th Street, press 3.
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34th Street to 72nd, press 4.
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Oh, you gotta love the N.Y.P.D.
125
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Meanwhile, where's that David Caruso going so fast
126
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with that big white freckly butt of his?
127
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Miss Fine, why the devil did you bring the baby here?
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Why didn't you just pass him over
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to a policeman straightaway?
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They're very busy. It's Sunday.
131
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The gays are comin' out, the yuppies are workin' out,
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and the Jews are eatin' out.
133
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Oh.
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Oh? Be careful.
135
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Mr. Snoopy's really old. - I will.
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Look, his tail's loose, his hair's fallin' out,
137
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and he's bustin' at the seams.
138
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Oh, give him a remote control, he could be my father.
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MAGGIE: Fran!
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Here, you hold.
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What sweetie? What?
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Fran, I can't find my blankie anywhere.
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Oy.
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GRACE: Fran? - Yeah, honey.
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I can't find any bottles anywhere.
146
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How about a turkey baster?
147
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Oh, sweetie.
148
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We're trying to feed a baby, not impregnate Ling Ling.
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[BABY CRIES] - Oy!
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All right, Miss Fine. That's it, here's your coat.
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We're going down to the police station.
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[BABY CRIES] Oh, all right, but I'm telling you,
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we're never gonna get through.
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How many gay people can there be in New York?
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This, from a man who produces Broadway musicals?
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God! It's a bloody mob scene out there.
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I mean, I'm proud I'm British.
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But you won't see me marching around
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dressed as Queen Victoria.
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I told you we should've taken the subway.
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Why? Hoping to pick up a few more? - Ugh!
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Maybe start a bowling team? - Ugh!
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Hey, 100 sexy men wanted your phone number.
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All they asked me was if my boots came in a size 13.
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The baby's back.
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Oh, Daddy, can we keep him?
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Gracie, heart, he's not a lost puppy.
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He's somebody's baby.
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All right. Can I have a puppy?
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No, you may not have a puppy.
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Well, I don't know.
172
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It might help fill the void
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after we have to give away [SOBS] our baby boy.
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Miss Fine...
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We need another boy in this hen house.
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There's far too much Blossom
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Here, Maggie, hold little Joshua Elliott.
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Careful.
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Who?
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Well, "Elliott" after your father,
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and "Joshua" I just always liked.
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Oh, I can't wait to have a baby of my own.
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Yes, youcan
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You can wait a lot.
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BRIGHTON: Can you say "Nintendo"?
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Oh, he's so cute.
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[ALL COOING]
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We can't give him up. - No.
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Ew! He's pooping. - Oh, yuck!
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Oh, no, give him to Brighton.
191
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No, give him to Fran. She's getting paid.
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Ohhh.
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What are they making such a fuss about?
194
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You'd think that they'd never, ever seen a--
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[COUGHS]
196
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Oh! Oh!
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Oh, this kid's got far too many lentils in his diet.
198
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Oh, for God's sake, just give him to me.
199
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Come here, little fella.
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Ho!
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All right. I know what I'm gonna do.
202
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I'm gonna call the Department of Social Services.
203
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Oh, yeah, Sunday at 4:30, they're waitin' for you.
204
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Oh, there's that vein in your forehead again.
205
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You know, Miss Fine, it's very odd,
206
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but that vein wasn't there a year ago.
207
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Just like the gray streak in your hair?
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Yes, exactly like the bloody gray streak.
209
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Oh, now, would you calm down?
210
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You're getting all wound up.
211
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Pretty soon you're gonna say something
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that you're gonna regret.
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I already did when I said, "You're hired."
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All right. Fine.
215
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I'll just dump the kid at the white zone at the airport.
216
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There'll be 40 cops on top of him
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before he's done unloading.
218
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Oh, Maxwell, I'm so glad you got that baby to the authorities.
219
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I was very worried about that poor little defenseless thing.
220
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Oh, slap that kid's picture on a milk carton,
221
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and let's get back to work.
222
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Oh, Joshy, what's the matter?
223
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Why aren't you eating?
224
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Oh, Niles! What the hell is this?
225
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It's puréed liver and Brussels sprouts.
226
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Oh, the stuff that came out of him
227
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is more appetizing than that.
228
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Oh, Mr. Sheffield, now, don't get mad.
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I'm just giving him one last feeding
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before I have to take him to the orphanage.
231
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Can you say, "Please, sir, I want some more."
232
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That's enough, Miss Fine.
233
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Well, what's with the box?
234
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Are you planning on mailing him to the police station?
235
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'Cause then you better punch some holes in the top.
236
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As a matter of fact,
237
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these are some of Brighton's old baby clothes.
238
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I thought they might come in handy.
239
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Oh, that was very sweet of you.
240
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Isn't he a nice man? Isn't he a good man?
241
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Yes.
242
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[MAKES KISSING NOISES] Uh, Miss Fine,
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I think you're becoming far too emotionally attached
244
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to this child. Aww.
245
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Yes, isn't she, little fella? - [BABY GURGLES]
246
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Yes, she is. I think she is.
247
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I think she is.
248
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Well, you look very natural.
249
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Been there three times, Miss Fine.
250
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And if my expertise serves me, I think we need changing again.
251
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Excuse us.
252
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Oh, give him to me. I'll take him.
253
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No, no, that's all right. I've got him, I'll do it.
254
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Wait a minute here. - Let's just lay him down there.
255
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Lay him down. Yeah, little fella.
256
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We're gonna change you. Yeah, good boy.
257
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Make you all dry. Yeah, good boy, good boy.
258
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Well, Miss Fine, I wouldn't stay there.
259
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You never know with little boys. - Oh!
260
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Brighton once shorted a wall clock.
261
00:10:54,300 --> 00:10:55,830
Oh.
262
00:10:58,100 --> 00:11:00,266
There we go. - Oh, yeah.
263
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,216
Well, we know one thing for sure,
264
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:03,366
his mother was not speaking Hebrew.
265
00:11:06,830 --> 00:11:08,160
[COOS. BLOWS RASPBERRY]
266
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,000
[COOS, BLOWS RASPBERRY]
267
00:11:09,366 --> 00:11:11,233
[COOS, BLOWS RASPBERRY]
268
00:11:11,266 --> 00:11:12,250
They love it when you blow on their tummies.
269
00:11:12,283 --> 00:11:13,150
Who doesn't?
270
00:11:16,166 --> 00:11:18,400
Who's the handsome fella then, huh?
271
00:11:18,433 --> 00:11:20,266
Yes, who's the handsome fella?
272
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,333
You know he reminds me of Brighton.
273
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:22,483
Aw. Whoa!
274
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:24,316
BOTH: Heads up.
275
00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:25,266
Exactly like Brighton.
276
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,316
Aw, what did you do? What did you do?
277
00:11:30,350 --> 00:11:32,416
We'll get you dry. Yes, we will.
278
00:11:32,450 --> 00:11:34,330
You're a good boy.
279
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:35,433
You know, Ms. Fine, I, uh--
280
00:11:35,466 --> 00:11:38,450
I apologize for blowing up at you earlier.
281
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:41,433
Well, Mr. Sheffield, I apologize for--
282
00:11:41,466 --> 00:11:42,366
Actually, I didn't do anything.
283
00:11:43,350 --> 00:11:44,166
Mmm. You're quite right.
284
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,150
Come here, little guy. Come here.
285
00:11:48,183 --> 00:11:50,200
Aw. Oh, honey, would you--?
286
00:11:50,233 --> 00:11:54,150
I mean, uh, Mr. Sheffield, uh, put the TV on.
287
00:11:54,183 --> 00:11:55,830
They like the background noise.
288
00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:57,160
[REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS]
289
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,466
TV ANNOUNCER: Senator Dole said he hasn't read the bill,
290
00:11:59,000 --> 00:11:59,333
but he's 100 percent against it.
291
00:12:03,100 --> 00:12:05,316
And in the local news, police are looking for this woman
292
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:07,160
in connection with the mid-morning kidnapping
293
00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:10,150
on the subway.
294
00:12:10,150 --> 00:12:12,316
Oh, would you look at that nut?
295
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:14,316
And she's runnin' around free.
296
00:12:14,350 --> 00:12:16,383
Oh, my God, Miss Fine, that's you.
297
00:12:16,416 --> 00:12:17,383
No way.
298
00:12:18,466 --> 00:12:21,266
Suspect is said to be 5'7",
299
00:12:21,300 --> 00:12:24,160
approximately 105 pounds, and in her early 20s.
300
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:27,216
Oh, you're right. It is me.
301
00:12:27,216 --> 00:12:29,233
Miss Fine!
302
00:12:29,266 --> 00:12:31,333
Well, now, it's obviously a mistake.
303
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:34,183
And it's all my problem. It has nothing to do with you.
304
00:12:34,216 --> 00:12:36,466
Suspect is believed to work for this man,
305
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,200
renowned Broadway producer Maxwell Sheffield.
306
00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:42,133
Alright, that's it. We're going down to the police station.
307
00:12:42,166 --> 00:12:44,183
Oh, can't we just call Al Cowlings
308
00:12:44,216 --> 00:12:45,250
and drive around for a while first?
309
00:13:01,383 --> 00:13:03,250
Oh, wow.
310
00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,200
This looks just like the police station
311
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:05,116
onCagney & Lacey.
312
00:13:08,116 --> 00:13:10,150
No wonder they had so much crime in that precinct.
313
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:11,150
All you had to do was outrun Tyne Daly.
314
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:16,183
Mr. Sheffield, maybe you should take a number?
315
00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:18,330
Miss Fine, this isn't a bakery.
316
00:13:18,660 --> 00:13:19,216
Oh. - They don't give you numbers.
317
00:13:19,250 --> 00:13:20,233
[BELL RINGS] MAN: Sixty-two.
318
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:24,383
Would you go get a number, please?
319
00:13:24,416 --> 00:13:27,660
Oy, men, what are you gonna do with 'em?
320
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,830
Well, I'm not gonna shoot 'em next time.
321
00:13:33,500 --> 00:13:34,366
[BABY CRIES]
322
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:38,300
[SINGSONG] Oh, little Jeremy Matthew, how are you?
323
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,500
What happened to "Joshua Elliott"?
324
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:42,333
I got tired of it.
325
00:13:42,333 --> 00:13:44,266
I like the name "Joshua". - Oh.
326
00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:46,100
[BELL DINGS] MAN: Sixty-three.
327
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:46,350
Oh, that's us.
328
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:50,160
Now, may I do the talking, please.
329
00:13:50,500 --> 00:13:52,183
Now, Mr. Sheffield. I got us into this. Let me.
330
00:13:52,216 --> 00:13:53,300
Uh, look, Dick--
331
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,000
Sergeant.
332
00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:56,316
I'm sorry. Sergeant.
333
00:13:56,350 --> 00:13:58,000
Dick Sargent/Sergeant, what are the odds?
334
00:14:00,333 --> 00:14:01,183
Miss Fine.
335
00:14:02,366 --> 00:14:04,366
Oh, all right, you better talk to him.
336
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,266
I'm exhausted. I've been taking care of a strange baby all day.
337
00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,000
Sergeant, uh, this woman, my nanny,
338
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,366
er, Fran Fine,
339
00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,233
is charged with a crime that I can assure you she didn't commit.
340
00:14:14,266 --> 00:14:15,000
Prostitution?
341
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:19,330
Excuse me! I'm not a hooker.
342
00:14:20,266 --> 00:14:21,166
I'm a kidnapper.
343
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,830
Well, my lawyer will finally get that house
344
00:14:25,116 --> 00:14:26,160
in the south of France he's always wanted.
345
00:14:27,383 --> 00:14:30,233
Fran Fine, you're under arrest.
346
00:14:30,266 --> 00:14:32,450
Oh, my God.
347
00:14:32,483 --> 00:14:34,283
Mr. Sheffield, call Jacoby & Meyers.
348
00:14:36,450 --> 00:14:38,166
I want the fat one, not the thin one.
349
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,330
He's got an attitude.
350
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:41,000
Or is that Siskel and Ebert?
351
00:14:43,330 --> 00:14:45,000
You have the right to remain silent.
352
00:14:45,330 --> 00:14:46,830
[SNIGGERS] Obviously, you don't know her very well.
353
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,500
[CAMERA CLICKS]
354
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:54,300
SERGEANT: Shoes.
355
00:14:54,300 --> 00:14:55,116
[CAMERA CLICKS]
356
00:14:56,233 --> 00:14:57,166
Hair.
357
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:00,250
[GASPS] [CAMERA CLICKS]
358
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,300
Well, height is one thing, but if you think
359
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:11,330
that I'm gonna set one foot on a scale,
360
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:12,660
you might as well just put me into a cell
361
00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:13,330
and throw away the key.
362
00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:18,116
What next? Because, frankly, I'm feeling very violated.
363
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,466
We're gonna have to strip-search you.
364
00:15:21,383 --> 00:15:24,660
Oh, no.
365
00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:25,466
Not until there's a ring on this finger
366
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,160
and two tickets to Aruba.
367
00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:30,450
Oh.
368
00:15:30,483 --> 00:15:32,350
Well, I wouldn't wanna obstruct justice.
369
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:38,450
[CHUCKLES]
370
00:15:44,466 --> 00:15:45,266
Oh--
371
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:47,150
[DOOR SLAMS]
372
00:15:49,466 --> 00:15:51,433
Oh, sir.
373
00:15:51,466 --> 00:15:53,830
Niles, what are you doing here?
374
00:15:53,116 --> 00:15:54,350
Well, I was watching America's Most Wanted,
375
00:15:54,383 --> 00:15:57,233
and lo and behold.
376
00:15:57,266 --> 00:15:59,500
I brought you a fresh shirt and your shaving things.
377
00:15:59,830 --> 00:16:00,483
Oh, thank you.
378
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,350
I don't plan on being here very long. - Hmm.
379
00:16:02,383 --> 00:16:03,433
How on earth did you get here
380
00:16:03,466 --> 00:16:05,150
with that Gay Pride parade going on?
381
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:06,233
Oh, I borrowed the poodle and walked.
382
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,300
In fact, I got several job offers.
383
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,416
What's the difference between a butler and a houseboy?
384
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:16,466
Well, in your case, about 30 years, Niles.
385
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,300
Rot in jail, sir.
386
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,150
Well, there's one fantasy shot to hell.
387
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:42,133
Niles!
388
00:16:42,166 --> 00:16:44,233
Didn't you see me fall in that ConEd ditch?
389
00:16:44,266 --> 00:16:47,830
I nearly killed myself.
390
00:16:47,116 --> 00:16:49,200
All I saw was a blond woman in an olive overcoat,
391
00:16:49,233 --> 00:16:49,466
and then she was gone.
392
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:54,133
Well, what am I wearing?
393
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:55,433
Oh, lookie there.
394
00:16:58,316 --> 00:16:59,500
Maxwell...
395
00:17:00,166 --> 00:17:01,383
[SIGHS] is everything all right?
396
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:02,433
Has she been incarcerated yet? Did I miss it?
397
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:07,266
C.C., you could show some concern for Miss Fine.
398
00:17:07,300 --> 00:17:11,266
Maxwell, my concern is for you!
399
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:13,216
Before Nanny Fine entered our lives,
400
00:17:13,250 --> 00:17:15,150
we never had to step foot in a place like this.
401
00:17:15,183 --> 00:17:16,500
C.C.?
402
00:17:17,350 --> 00:17:18,233
Girlfriend.
403
00:17:21,133 --> 00:17:23,830
Got you again, huh?
404
00:17:23,116 --> 00:17:25,483
You must have me confused with someone else.
405
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:27,466
I've never seen this person before in my life.
406
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,333
Oh, is that your game? That's cool.
407
00:17:31,366 --> 00:17:33,233
Just stay off Second Avenue. Leon's looking for you.
408
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:37,466
[UNDER BREATH] Leon?
409
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,233
Maxwell, I swear.
410
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,166
Here you go.
411
00:17:48,450 --> 00:17:50,183
How'd you like it, sugar?
412
00:17:50,216 --> 00:17:52,250
Oh, it was so good, I could do it again and again and again.
413
00:17:55,233 --> 00:17:58,133
Maxwell, you can't seriously believe that--
414
00:17:58,166 --> 00:17:59,266
I know.
415
00:17:59,300 --> 00:18:00,466
Did you go to Bryn Mawr?
416
00:18:06,500 --> 00:18:08,500
Miss Fine, what did they do to you?
417
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:10,150
Oh, it was horrible.
418
00:18:10,183 --> 00:18:12,166
Seven women, one toilet, no door.
419
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:17,166
Here's Big Bertha, doin' her business right out there in the open
420
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,450
like she's onWild Kingdom or something.
421
00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:25,283
[SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
422
00:18:25,316 --> 00:18:28,300
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, I'm scared. I can't go to prison.
423
00:18:28,333 --> 00:18:29,466
I went to the bathroom maybe three times
424
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,660
in all of summer camp.
425
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:33,133
I can't hold it in for five-to-twenty.
426
00:18:35,316 --> 00:18:37,830
You're gonna have to come with me.
427
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:40,500
[SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] Oh, I can't believe this is happening!
428
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:43,500
I was just trying to be helpful!
429
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:44,233
This is just like Nikki onThe Young and the Restless.
430
00:18:46,233 --> 00:18:47,233
Young and Restless? Yeah!
431
00:18:49,116 --> 00:18:50,133
Nikki Newman Abbott?
432
00:18:50,166 --> 00:18:51,450
Yes, yes! Oh!
433
00:18:51,483 --> 00:18:53,383
Remember, Nikki was accused
434
00:18:53,416 --> 00:18:55,266
of stealing Cricket's baby at Jabot Cosmetics?
435
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:56,830
Cricket!
436
00:18:57,166 --> 00:18:59,300
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] - Yes, yes!
437
00:18:59,333 --> 00:19:01,183
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] - Only she wasn't stealing it.
438
00:19:01,216 --> 00:19:02,233
[SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE] - She was holding it for a woman
439
00:19:02,266 --> 00:19:04,100
that was putting on blush.
440
00:19:04,133 --> 00:19:06,660
[HEAVY ACCENT] No, no. Mascara.
441
00:19:06,100 --> 00:19:08,200
Oh, yeah, she's right, she's right. Mascara.
442
00:19:08,233 --> 00:19:11,250
And then Cricket thought that the baby was stolen,
443
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:12,483
and Nikki went to jail... - [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
444
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,350
...and that shower scene - [SPEAKING IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
445
00:19:14,383 --> 00:19:16,250
...was more than we should've seen on daytime.
446
00:19:16,283 --> 00:19:17,450
[BOTH LAUGH]
447
00:19:17,483 --> 00:19:19,350
[RINGS BELL] Quiet, quiet.
448
00:19:19,383 --> 00:19:21,000
It wasn't Cricket's baby.
449
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,100
It was Ashley and Snapper's.
450
00:19:25,133 --> 00:19:26,300
[BOTH GASP] Snapper!
451
00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:28,483
[HEAVY ACCENT] Snapper! Snapper!
452
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,400
All right, all right, uh...
453
00:19:30,433 --> 00:19:33,116
considering the circumstances,
454
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:34,160
I guess you're free to go, Miss Fine.
455
00:19:34,500 --> 00:19:35,400
Oh.
456
00:19:35,433 --> 00:19:36,416
[SPEAKING SOFTLY IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]
457
00:19:36,450 --> 00:19:39,283
Can I at least say goodbye to the baby?
458
00:19:39,316 --> 00:19:40,250
Just wave, Miss Fine.
459
00:19:40,283 --> 00:19:42,330
Oh! Bye, Joshy.
460
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,330
Oh.
461
00:19:44,660 --> 00:19:45,216
Zbigniew.
462
00:19:46,283 --> 00:19:47,133
Zbigniew.
463
00:19:49,233 --> 00:19:50,383
Oh, that oughta go over big on the playground.
464
00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,300
Well, I only knew him for a couple of hours,
465
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,483
but I'll never forget him.
466
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,200
I'll never forget her either. Quick, act like we're together.
467
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:21,330
You know what? I sort of liked having a baby in the house.
468
00:20:21,660 --> 00:20:22,100
Except I had no idea how much work they were.
469
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:26,330
And they're always making a mess.
470
00:20:32,416 --> 00:20:34,383
You know what, Niles, on second thought,
471
00:20:34,416 --> 00:20:36,416
could you bring these upstairs so we can watch some TV? Thanks.
472
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:38,316
I have two words for you -
473
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,266
"Hansel" and "Gretel".
474
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:43,333
Well, actually, that's three words.
475
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,000
[OVEN DOOR CLUNKS]
476
00:20:53,183 --> 00:20:57,150
Oh, my. Would you look at this mess?
477
00:20:57,183 --> 00:20:58,483
I'm bingeing.
478
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,283
I'm a little depressed about giving back the baby.
479
00:21:01,316 --> 00:21:05,433
Oh, well, sweetie, we had to give him back. He wasn't ours.
480
00:21:05,466 --> 00:21:07,433
That's right. He didn't belong to our family. - No.
481
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:08,416
Then why don't you two make a baby?
482
00:21:11,300 --> 00:21:13,450
Take it away, Mr. Sheffield.
483
00:21:13,483 --> 00:21:15,500
Well, um, I mean, we'd have to be--
484
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,350
Well, you know, you have to be married first.
485
00:21:18,383 --> 00:21:20,383
Oh, right, married. - There has to be an engagement.
486
00:21:20,416 --> 00:21:23,266
I'd want a big ring, a party. Don't ask.
487
00:21:23,300 --> 00:21:25,000
Then why don't you two get married?
488
00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:25,400
[CLEARS THROAT]
489
00:21:27,660 --> 00:21:28,233
I took the last one.
490
00:21:28,266 --> 00:21:29,500
Thanks.
491
00:21:30,433 --> 00:21:33,183
Well, you have to be in love with the person.
492
00:21:33,216 --> 00:21:34,483
Don't you love Fran?
493
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:35,350
Yeah, don't you love Fran?
494
00:21:38,330 --> 00:21:40,133
Well, in a nanny-friend-boss type of way.
495
00:21:42,330 --> 00:21:43,350
Yeah, and I love your father
496
00:21:43,383 --> 00:21:45,330
in that "Thanks a lot, you British cold fish" type of way.
497
00:21:47,450 --> 00:21:49,200
But youcould get married if you wanted to.
498
00:21:53,250 --> 00:21:55,183
Well, uh,
499
00:21:55,216 --> 00:21:58,160
we'd have to be best friends to see if we can live together.
500
00:21:58,500 --> 00:21:59,150
And of course there'd have to be
501
00:21:59,183 --> 00:22:00,450
a very strong physical attract--
502
00:22:00,483 --> 00:22:01,366
Would you go to bed?
503
00:22:03,660 --> 00:22:05,100
Geez.
504
00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:08,830
Kids, huh? Always asking questions.
505
00:22:08,116 --> 00:22:10,233
And such vivid imaginations.
506
00:22:10,266 --> 00:22:12,200
"Why is the sky blue?" "Where's heaven?"
507
00:22:14,116 --> 00:22:15,216
Why don't you and I have a baby?
508
00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:18,133
[BOTH LAUGH]
509
00:22:18,166 --> 00:22:20,283
Meanwhile, I wonder if I'll ever be a mother.
510
00:22:20,316 --> 00:22:21,160
Well, there's always the subway, Miss Fine.
511
00:22:23,233 --> 00:22:25,300
Forget it. Next time I bring home a baby,
512
00:22:25,333 --> 00:22:27,250
it's gonna be after nine months of swollen ankles
513
00:22:27,283 --> 00:22:28,466
and an epidural that could bring down Secretariat.
514
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:38,466
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
515
00:22:51,233 --> 00:22:54,116
MAN: Please, no putting on makeup.
516
00:22:54,150 --> 00:22:55,433
What are you gonna do? Charge me with lipstick?
517
00:22:57,383 --> 00:22:59,250
Let's not play games.
518
00:22:59,283 --> 00:23:01,450
Did you take the baby, Fran?
519
00:23:01,483 --> 00:23:04,166
Now, I'd have to be pretty stupid
520
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,183
to take a baby
521
00:23:06,216 --> 00:23:08,160
when I could have taken the salami.
522
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:10,350
And I'm not stupid. -[COMPACT SNAPS]
523
00:23:18,500 --> 00:23:19,216
Can I get a little eye contact here?
524
00:23:22,100 --> 00:23:23,366
Oh, you got a better chance
525
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,450
of seeing Tonya Harding
526
00:23:24,483 --> 00:23:25,466
on a box of Wheaties.
37910
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