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1
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No, Ma, we can't go to Sizzler.
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Why? Because you're not welcome there anymore.
3
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You took half the dessert bar home in your purse.
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I know it's all you can eat...
5
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at the restaurant!
6
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All right, bye.
7
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Oh, it's always the same thing with her on Mother's Day.
8
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We always have to go where she wants to go.
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Be grateful she just wanted you to take her to dinner.
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My mother always insisted
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I take her to Bath.
12
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To Bath?
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Oh, boy.
14
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My Aunt Polly used to take her son Sheldon
15
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in the tub with her until he was 6.
16
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P.S. They both ended up on a very specialGeraldo.
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Bath is a town in England.
18
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Well, I don't care where you did it.
19
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It's still weird.
20
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Meanwhile, you want to know what I'm doing for my mother?
21
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I got all the old home movies and I'm gonna put 'em on tape.
22
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I only wish that they had sound so I could hear myself talk.
23
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Be careful what you wish for.
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Oh...
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You know, I hate to bring this up,
26
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but what do they do for Mother's Day around here?
27
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We don't mention it.
28
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Well, if you want my opinion...
29
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I said, if you want my opinion...
30
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Desperately.
31
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I don't think it's normal.
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I mean, they all act as if Sarah never existed.
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You know, in my house,
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if we didn't talk about the dead,
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we'd have nothing to talk about...
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except food.
37
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Great thing about funerals. You get both.
38
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Well, Mr. Sheffield likes to keep the children busy
39
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so they don't get depressed.
40
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Every year, he comes up with a new diversion.
41
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Uh-huh. Well, you know, when I used to be down in the dumps,
42
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my mom used to buy me a new Pez dispenser.
43
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Oh, that's nice.
44
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Yeah. Great news.
45
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We have just joined a country club.
46
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That's nice too.
47
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Yes, look, these facilities are
48
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They even have a five-star chef.
49
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Oh! Boy, reminds me of the Flamingo Beach Club.
50
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Our chef used to make a roast beef. Mwah!
51
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You'd never know the week before it came in ninth at Belmont.
52
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♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪
53
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
54
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪
55
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♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
56
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♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
57
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
58
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♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪
59
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
60
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♪♪ She was there to sell makeup ♪♪
61
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♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
62
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♪♪ She had style, she had flair, she was there ♪♪
63
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♪♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪♪
64
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♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪
65
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♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
66
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♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪
67
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
68
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♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪
69
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♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
70
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
71
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♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪
72
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♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪
73
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
74
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And this is the club room.
75
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Oh, wow! Look at all this paneling.
76
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Boy, half the dues must go to Lemon Pledge.
77
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Ha ha!
78
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I'm certainly glad we joined.
79
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You know, this is a wonderful way
80
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for a family all to be together. Mm-hmm.
81
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I'm going to the video room, Dad.
82
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I'm going go see the pool.
83
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Have fun.
84
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You're both out of the will.
85
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It's a very family-oriented club.
86
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We have lots of special activities to keep the children busy.
87
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That's perfect.
88
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It'll help take their mind off, uh...
89
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You can say it.
90
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We have a special event for Mother's Day.
91
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Or she can.
92
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A mother-daughter beauty pageant.
93
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You two should sign up.
94
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Oh, no, I don't think so.
95
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No, I meant them.
96
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Not that you're not attractive
97
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in your own right.
98
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Me and Ma went up for something like that once,
99
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and we would have won too,
100
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except she insisted on wearing a bikini.
101
00:03:54,383 --> 00:03:57,216
Well, what's wrong with that?
102
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Have you ever seen a hysterectomy scar from the '60s?
103
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Daddy, can we be in the pageant?
104
00:04:04,330 --> 00:04:05,250
Uh, well, no, sweetheart.
105
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We-we already have plans for Sunday.
106
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We do?
107
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Yes, we have the Guggenheim,
108
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the Radio City Music Hall,
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Empire State Building,
110
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Circle Line tour--
111
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That's all?
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Then lunch,
113
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then the zoo, then the Statue of Liberty,
114
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F.A.O. Schwarz--
115
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Why don't you just chloroform them till Monday?
116
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Well, while you two work it out,
117
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I'll introduce Grace to some of the other children.
118
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Okay, but I'm warning you,
119
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I'm a loner.
120
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What's your problem?
121
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Miss Fine, the last thing Grace needs on Mother's Day
122
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is to be reminded of her mother.
123
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All right.
124
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What, you think I'm wrong?
125
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[MUMBLING]
126
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So, you're agreeing with me?
127
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[MUMBLING]
128
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I can't understand a bloody word you're saying.
129
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All I'm saying is that Grace is a little girl
130
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who wants to be in a beauty pageant
131
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and get all dolled up.
132
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Now, if it doesn't bother her,
133
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:01,830
why should it bother you?
134
00:05:01,116 --> 00:05:03,366
I just don't want to see Grace get hurt, that's all.
135
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:04,466
Well, they're aren't a lot
136
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:07,116
of pageant-related injuries,
137
00:05:07,150 --> 00:05:09,450
except for that time Ellen Nackiman
138
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spiked me with her six-inch heels.
139
00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:14,316
But I got even.
140
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:17,150
I switched her hairspray for Pam.
141
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She won anyway,
142
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but she couldn't keep that crown on her head
143
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for nothing.
144
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They make luncheon meat in an aerosol?
145
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No. You're thinking of Spam.
146
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,183
Oh.
147
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That she would have noticed right away.
148
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And now for my final trick,
149
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I will saw my assistant in half.
150
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:50,383
Now, explain to me again
151
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why you're the magician and I'm the assistant.
152
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Because the beautiful woman is always the assistant.
153
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Oh.
154
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There's one born every minute.
155
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Are you sure you know what you're doing?
156
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Sure.
157
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The instructions are somewhere around here.
158
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I can't believe Dad's letting Gracie do this.
159
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I can't believe I'm
160
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No, I mean, being in the Mother's Day pageant.
161
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Dad doesn't even like to talk about Mom.
162
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What was she like?
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Oh, she was really pretty.
164
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She had the best laugh.
165
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And she always liked to sing--
166
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Off-key.
167
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Aw...
168
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Come on, are we gonna do this or what?
169
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Found the instructions.
170
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"Now take a knife and cut into even pieces."
171
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Uh, wait a sec. Let me see that.
172
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These are the instructions
173
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for your Easy-Bake Oven.
174
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Yes, but you'll serve eight.
175
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Mm-hmm.
176
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We'll just wing it.
177
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Yes, what's the worst that can happen?
178
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I don't know. Did you seeBoxing Helena?
179
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No, but then, nobody did.
180
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Abracadabra!
181
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:02,166
How was it for you?
182
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,100
Well, it's a little bit tingly,
183
00:07:04,133 --> 00:07:06,350
but not altogether unpleasant.
184
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:07,450
Oh, Miss Grace,
185
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this seems to be stuck on something.
186
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Give her neck a pull.
187
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Ah!
188
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Now watch this.
189
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Hey, hey, I'm getting a draft here.
190
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Oh!
191
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This is really weird.
192
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It's just separation anxiety.
193
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Oh, no.
194
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How terrible.
195
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What?
196
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I've got a run in my stockings.
197
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I'm telling you, Maxwell,
198
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this whole mother-daughter beauty pageant
199
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is a terrible idea.
200
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On the other hand...
201
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Keep her away from me!
202
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Wait! Whoa! Get my other half!
203
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:54,330
Well, now, this is really very impressive. Thanks.
204
00:07:54,660 --> 00:07:57,150
I hope I'm not gonna have to pay you time and a half.
205
00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,300
Where are the swords we plunge in?
206
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That's a different trick.
207
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It doesn't have to be.
208
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All right, all right, put me together, you guys.
209
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I can't find the instructions.
210
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Well, here's a thought.
211
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Help her look!
212
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Why don't we go for a little spin?
213
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Wheeeeee!
214
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Hee hee hee hee!
215
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Ha ha ha ha!
216
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All right,
217
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you've had your fun.
218
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,316
Now I'm getting annoyed,
219
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and a little nauseous.
220
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Oh, I am so sorry.
221
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,150
Let's get you some fresh air.
222
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,266
What?
223
00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,383
Whoa!
224
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[CRASHES]
225
00:08:40,316 --> 00:08:41,333
Ow!
226
00:08:41,366 --> 00:08:43,000
[FRAN LAUGHING]
227
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Everyone's so nice here.
228
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That lady never stops smiling.
229
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Oh, I know.
230
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:55,333
I think she's probably had
231
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one too many facelifts.
232
00:08:57,660 --> 00:09:00,330
Did you see that bow in the back of her head?
233
00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:04,183
It was her ears.
234
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,000
So what do we do first?
235
00:09:07,330 --> 00:09:08,466
Well, let's psyche out the competition.
236
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:12,333
Come on, let's kick some country club butt.
237
00:09:12,366 --> 00:09:14,283
Uh-oh. Don't look now.
238
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:16,216
Breck girl at nine o'clock.
239
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:21,166
And a No-More-Tears babe bringing up the rear.
240
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,366
Oh, they're making the first move.
241
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Act confident. Chest out.
242
00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,133
It is out.
243
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,233
Hello.
244
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Hi.
245
00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:31,160
I'm Fran, and this is Gracie.
246
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:33,283
I'm Bobbie Jo, and this is my daughter Betty Jo.
247
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Oh.
248
00:09:35,116 --> 00:09:37,466
How are things at Petticoat Junction?
249
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So, is this your first beauty pageant?
250
00:09:45,660 --> 00:09:47,133
Hardly. Yours?
251
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:48,383
Oh, afraid not.
252
00:09:48,416 --> 00:09:50,416
Miss Sun Belt, 1982.
253
00:09:50,450 --> 00:09:53,483
'83, Miss Manny, Moe, and Jack.
254
00:09:55,160 --> 00:09:57,233
'84, Miss Leon County.
255
00:09:57,266 --> 00:10:00,416
'85, Miss Union Turnpike.
256
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,433
'87, finalist, Miss Universe.
257
00:10:03,466 --> 00:10:06,300
Oh. Nothing in '86, huh?
258
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Good luck.
259
00:10:09,316 --> 00:10:10,366
Thanks.
260
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,166
You'll need it.
261
00:10:13,200 --> 00:10:14,466
Well, they're tough, but we'll get them
262
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,316
in the talent competition.
263
00:10:22,416 --> 00:10:24,000
Well, they're talented,
264
00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:25,466
but those big calves, they're gonna cost them.
265
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:31,166
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
266
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:38,116
Oh!
267
00:10:38,150 --> 00:10:42,500
Oh, aren't they wonderful?
268
00:10:42,830 --> 00:10:44,166
They've won the last three years in a row.
269
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,416
Well, it's a catchy tune,
270
00:10:45,450 --> 00:10:48,366
but can you dance to it?
271
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:51,830
Wait till they see our magic act.
272
00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:55,200
Forget it. Nothing's getting me back into that box.
273
00:10:55,233 --> 00:10:56,416
Why not?
274
00:10:56,450 --> 00:10:59,500
Because you left me in there forever,
275
00:10:59,830 --> 00:11:01,366
plus I had an itch on my foot.
276
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:03,116
Why didn't you scratch it?
277
00:11:03,150 --> 00:11:06,150
It was in another room.
278
00:11:08,300 --> 00:11:10,183
We're gonna have to switch to plan B.
279
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,350
What's that?
280
00:11:11,383 --> 00:11:13,316
Call Gilooly.
281
00:11:18,216 --> 00:11:19,466
Oh, look at those women over there,
282
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,183
sucking up to the judges.
283
00:11:21,216 --> 00:11:24,266
Oh, I'll tell you, it is so demeaning.
284
00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,433
Whoops! A spot just opened up.
285
00:11:25,466 --> 00:11:28,660
Excuse me.
286
00:11:28,100 --> 00:11:30,133
Trust no one.
287
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,100
Hi.
288
00:11:35,660 --> 00:11:36,433
Hi. Hi.
289
00:11:36,466 --> 00:11:39,250
I hate beauty pageants, don't you?
290
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,316
I'm not supposed to talk to anyone.
291
00:11:41,350 --> 00:11:42,400
Why?
292
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:44,300
I just want to be your friend.
293
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:46,660
Your mom's real pretty.
294
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:48,330
Thanks, but she's not my mom.
295
00:11:48,660 --> 00:11:49,483
She's my nanny.
296
00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:51,660
See ya.
297
00:11:54,316 --> 00:11:57,500
Oh, well, if nothing else,
298
00:11:57,830 --> 00:12:00,500
we've got a lock on Miss Congeniality.
299
00:12:00,830 --> 00:12:02,350
This woman should not be allowed to compete in the pageant.
300
00:12:02,383 --> 00:12:04,116
She's a fake.
301
00:12:04,150 --> 00:12:05,250
I'm a fake?
302
00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:07,830
Let she who is without silicon
303
00:12:07,116 --> 00:12:09,500
cast the first stone.
304
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:13,233
Listen, you are not this child's mother.
305
00:12:13,266 --> 00:12:14,416
You're her nanny.
306
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,160
Yeah, so?
307
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,383
Well, this is a mother/daughter pageant.
308
00:12:18,416 --> 00:12:21,250
Well, we're very close.
309
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,500
So what if she's not my mother?
310
00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:24,116
What's the difference?
311
00:12:24,150 --> 00:12:26,133
It's against the rules.
312
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,366
I don't have a mother. She died.
313
00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:31,333
Oh, boy.
314
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:33,830
You will stop at nothing.
315
00:12:33,116 --> 00:12:35,350
Don't ever go out for cheerleader.
316
00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:49,116
Niles! Sir?
317
00:12:50,216 --> 00:12:52,150
Planning on running away to join the circus?
318
00:12:52,183 --> 00:12:54,330
Why would I do that, sir?
319
00:12:54,660 --> 00:12:55,200
Well, you were juggling.
320
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:57,100
Juggling, sir?
321
00:12:57,133 --> 00:12:59,333
Niles, I just saw you with my own eyes.
322
00:12:59,366 --> 00:13:01,233
Is there something I can do for you, sir?
323
00:13:01,266 --> 00:13:03,266
Well, you can start by admitting you were juggling.
324
00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:05,366
That will never happen, sir.
325
00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:10,500
Now I forgot what I came in here for.
326
00:13:10,830 --> 00:13:13,660
All right, let's see. I was in the office with C.C., and, uh...
327
00:13:13,100 --> 00:13:15,333
Oh, yes, I was trying to get away from C.C.
328
00:13:16,433 --> 00:13:19,116
You know, she can be so trying this time of year.
329
00:13:19,150 --> 00:13:22,183
She keeps reminding me not to think about Sarah.
330
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:24,216
I don't know how she can be so insensitive?
331
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,116
Sir, the woman would invite the Clintons
332
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:28,266
to go white-water rafting.
333
00:13:30,166 --> 00:13:32,200
C.C.: Oh, Maxwell...
334
00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,216
There you are. I have been all over for-- you!
335
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:35,250
[THUNK]
336
00:13:35,283 --> 00:13:36,433
C.C.!
337
00:13:40,830 --> 00:13:42,316
Oh, dear. Now, how did that get there?
338
00:13:44,183 --> 00:13:46,266
I'm terribly sorry, C.C. Are you all right?
339
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:47,350
You know, if I've told those children once,
340
00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:48,483
I've told them a million times
341
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:51,450
not to leave their fruit lying around the house.
342
00:13:54,383 --> 00:13:56,233
Gracie!
343
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:57,416
Oh, hello, Mr. Sheffield.
344
00:13:57,450 --> 00:13:59,830
What's wrong with Gracie?
345
00:13:59,116 --> 00:14:01,400
Uh, she has to go to the bathroom real bad?
346
00:14:01,433 --> 00:14:03,150
Miss Fine.
347
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,483
Mm...
348
00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:06,483
Well, Gracie is all upset
349
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:09,100
because some nutcase woman made a big stink
350
00:14:09,133 --> 00:14:10,466
just because I'm not her mother,
351
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,433
and then, well, Gracie had to say
352
00:14:12,466 --> 00:14:14,133
that she doesn't have a mother,
353
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,333
and it kind of went downhill from there.
354
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,333
Oh, Nanny Fine's pageant
355
00:14:20,366 --> 00:14:23,466
has turned into a complete disaster.
356
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,400
Niles, break out the bubbly.
357
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,000
You have no power here.
358
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,233
Be gone before someone drops a house on you.
359
00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:38,250
I just knew this was a bad idea.
360
00:14:38,283 --> 00:14:40,330
I should have trusted my instincts.
361
00:14:40,660 --> 00:14:43,383
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, don't blame yourself.
362
00:14:43,416 --> 00:14:46,660
I don't.
363
00:14:46,366 --> 00:14:47,466
Sweetheart?
364
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,433
Can we talk to you for a minute?
365
00:14:50,283 --> 00:14:52,100
No, I'm busy.
366
00:14:53,316 --> 00:14:55,216
You're doing a beautiful job there,
367
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:56,466
except dolly's beginning to look
368
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,166
a little like Sinead O'Connor.
369
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:02,366
Sweetheart, I made a mistake.
370
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,133
I should never have let you enter that pageant.
371
00:15:05,166 --> 00:15:07,400
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's all my fault.
372
00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:10,100
Your father didn't want us to enter, but I wouldn't listen.
373
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:12,450
I was just too busy talking. I do that sometimes.
374
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,330
I just talk and talk and talk--
375
00:15:14,660 --> 00:15:15,830
Miss Fine. What?
376
00:15:15,116 --> 00:15:16,216
You're doing it.
377
00:15:16,250 --> 00:15:19,116
Oh, right. Well, I'm going to stop now--
378
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:21,160
the talking, not the listening.
379
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,300
The listening I'm gonna keep on doing.
380
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:24,400
It's the talking I'm gonna stop.
381
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:28,330
Okay, I've stopped. Go ahead.
382
00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:30,216
Thank you.
383
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:33,383
Sweetheart, I do understand how you feel--
384
00:15:33,416 --> 00:15:36,830
all those other girls with their mommies.
385
00:15:36,116 --> 00:15:38,316
It's just reminded you how much you miss yours.
386
00:15:38,350 --> 00:15:41,483
But that's what's wrong. I don't miss her.
387
00:15:42,160 --> 00:15:43,333
You don't?
388
00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:44,416
No.
389
00:15:44,450 --> 00:15:46,300
I don't remember her.
390
00:15:46,333 --> 00:15:48,660
Oh.
391
00:15:48,416 --> 00:15:50,330
Oh...
392
00:15:50,660 --> 00:15:52,250
Gracie. Come here.
393
00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:56,660
Brighton and Maggie do, but I can't.
394
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,150
Is that bad?
395
00:15:57,183 --> 00:15:59,266
Oh, no, of course not, sweetheart.
396
00:15:59,300 --> 00:16:00,366
They're older than you.
397
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:05,660
But how come you never talk about her?
398
00:16:05,100 --> 00:16:08,660
Well, because sometimes it's very...
399
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,366
difficult for Daddy.
400
00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,160
Oh.
401
00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:12,433
You can't remember her either?
402
00:16:12,466 --> 00:16:15,400
Oh, no, sweetheart, I remember everything.
403
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,483
I remember the first time I saw her.
404
00:16:18,160 --> 00:16:22,830
I remember her sweetness and her laugh.
405
00:16:22,116 --> 00:16:25,300
I especially remember how much she loved you.
406
00:16:25,333 --> 00:16:26,400
She did?
407
00:16:26,433 --> 00:16:29,183
Oh, more than anything.
408
00:16:29,216 --> 00:16:32,250
And I should never have let you forget that.
409
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:35,200
I was just trying to protect you,
410
00:16:35,233 --> 00:16:37,166
and I suppose myself.
411
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,216
Can you forgive me?
412
00:16:39,250 --> 00:16:42,233
It's okay, Daddy.
413
00:16:42,266 --> 00:16:44,266
[BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY]
414
00:16:46,250 --> 00:16:49,830
Well, at least now
415
00:16:49,116 --> 00:16:52,466
you two can remember her together.
416
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,400
Do you think that Mommy would want me
417
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:57,350
to be in the pageant?
418
00:16:57,383 --> 00:17:01,660
I think she would want whatever you want.
419
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:04,183
I want to do it.
420
00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:07,200
Me and Fran are gonna kick some country-club butt.
421
00:17:07,233 --> 00:17:10,333
Oy! I don't know where she gets these things.
422
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:22,383
And next, we have our newest members,
423
00:17:22,416 --> 00:17:25,333
Fran Fine and Grace Sheffield, doing...
424
00:17:25,366 --> 00:17:28,316
Well, I'm not exactly sure what they're doing,
425
00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:31,300
but I'm sure we'll all enjoy it.
426
00:17:35,466 --> 00:17:38,216
[MUSIC PLAYING]
427
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:39,416
FRAN: ♪♪ Anything You could do ♪♪
428
00:17:39,450 --> 00:17:41,483
♪♪ I could do better ♪♪
429
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:43,466
♪♪ I could do anything better than you ♪♪ GRACIE: ♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪
430
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,266
♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪ ♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪
431
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,450
♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪ ♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪
432
00:17:46,483 --> 00:17:49,100
♪♪ Yes, I can Yes, I can ♪♪
433
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:51,383
♪♪ Anything you could be I could be greater ♪♪
434
00:17:51,416 --> 00:17:54,160
♪♪ Sooner or later I'm greater than you ♪♪
435
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:55,283
♪♪ No, you're not ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I am ♪♪
436
00:17:55,316 --> 00:17:57,133
♪♪ No, you're not ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I am ♪♪
437
00:17:57,166 --> 00:17:59,366
♪♪ No, you're not ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I am Yes, I am! ♪♪
438
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,830
♪♪ I can Jump a hurdle ♪♪
439
00:18:01,116 --> 00:18:02,250
♪♪ I can Wear a girdle ♪♪
440
00:18:02,283 --> 00:18:03,400
♪♪ I can Knit a sweater ♪♪
441
00:18:03,433 --> 00:18:05,116
♪♪ I can Fill it better ♪♪
442
00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:07,366
♪♪ I can Do most anything ♪♪
443
00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:09,660
♪♪ Can you bake a pie? ♪♪
444
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,266
♪♪ No ♪♪ ♪♪ Neither can I ♪♪
445
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:13,660
♪♪ Anything you could do I could do better ♪♪
446
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:15,116
♪♪ I could do anything Better than you ♪♪
447
00:18:15,150 --> 00:18:16,383
♪♪ No you can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪
448
00:18:16,416 --> 00:18:18,333
♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪
449
00:18:18,366 --> 00:18:21,830
♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I can Yes, I can ♪♪
450
00:18:21,116 --> 00:18:22,250
♪♪ Yes... I... ♪♪
451
00:18:22,283 --> 00:18:24,166
♪♪ Can... ♪♪
452
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,183
♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪
453
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:30,400
Frannie!
454
00:18:30,433 --> 00:18:32,233
Hurray, Gracie!
455
00:18:33,466 --> 00:18:37,000
Thank you. Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
456
00:18:40,316 --> 00:18:42,283
Thank you.
457
00:18:46,466 --> 00:18:48,216
Bravo!
458
00:18:49,266 --> 00:18:53,233
BRIGHTON: Bravo!
459
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:55,116
Encore!
460
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Here, sweetie.
461
00:19:09,350 --> 00:19:11,400
Oh, yeah, yeah. What?
462
00:19:11,433 --> 00:19:16,330
Oh! Oh, aren't you Patti LaBelle?
463
00:19:16,660 --> 00:19:17,333
I love you.
464
00:19:17,366 --> 00:19:20,660
Well, I love you too. You were great out there, girl.
465
00:19:20,100 --> 00:19:23,283
Oh, thanks. The judges really appreciate a class act.
466
00:19:23,316 --> 00:19:25,330
I know they do.
467
00:19:25,660 --> 00:19:26,233
What are you doing here?
468
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:27,266
Well, I came to pick up my--
469
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,450
Hi, Mommy! Sweetie.
470
00:19:28,483 --> 00:19:30,300
Oh!
471
00:19:30,333 --> 00:19:32,433
Oy!
472
00:19:32,466 --> 00:19:34,200
Come on, baby. We're up next.
473
00:19:34,233 --> 00:19:36,466
Good luck. Goodbye.
474
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,830
Like she needs luck. She's a professional.
475
00:19:39,116 --> 00:19:41,250
Don't these contests have rules?
476
00:19:41,283 --> 00:19:43,150
They bent the rules for us.
477
00:19:43,183 --> 00:19:45,133
Oh, whose side are you on anyway?
478
00:19:46,333 --> 00:19:47,400
♪♪ Runnin' hot ♪♪
479
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:49,416
♪♪ Runnin' cold ♪♪
480
00:19:49,450 --> 00:19:52,233
♪♪ I was runnin' at you Overload ♪♪
481
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:55,133
♪♪ It was extreme ♪♪
482
00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:56,250
♪♪ Ooh ♪♪
483
00:19:56,283 --> 00:19:58,216
♪♪ Hey ♪♪
484
00:19:58,250 --> 00:19:59,400
♪♪ Well ♪♪
485
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,433
♪♪ That's when the wires Got crossed ♪♪
486
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:03,250
♪♪ The tables were turned ♪♪
487
00:20:03,283 --> 00:20:07,660
♪♪ I never knew I had such a lesson to learn ♪♪
488
00:20:07,100 --> 00:20:09,000
♪♪ I'm feelin' good From my head ♪♪
489
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:10,333
♪♪ To my shoes ♪♪
490
00:20:10,366 --> 00:20:11,433
♪♪ Know where I'm goin' ♪♪
491
00:20:11,466 --> 00:20:14,166
♪♪ And I know what to do ♪♪
492
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:15,350
♪♪ I started up my-- ♪♪
493
00:20:15,383 --> 00:20:16,433
What do you have, darling?
494
00:20:16,466 --> 00:20:19,266
♪♪ I got a new attitude ♪♪
495
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,330
♪♪ Whoo ♪♪
496
00:20:22,333 --> 00:20:24,416
Is she is fabulous.
497
00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:26,200
You know, I'm her biggest fan.
498
00:20:26,233 --> 00:20:28,283
Oh, I'll tell you, if they don't come in second,
499
00:20:28,316 --> 00:20:29,483
there's no justice.
500
00:20:31,266 --> 00:20:34,000
Thank you.
501
00:20:41,300 --> 00:20:43,216
Aren't you ever gonna take that stupid sash off?
502
00:20:43,250 --> 00:20:44,283
No.
503
00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:45,316
Oh, leave her alone.
504
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:47,160
How many times in your life
505
00:20:47,500 --> 00:20:49,166
do you become first runner-up in a beauty pageant?
506
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,350
Counting this one, 12.
507
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:53,283
Well, here they are,
508
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:55,250
The Fine family home movies.
509
00:20:55,283 --> 00:21:00,200
Oh, when my mother sees these, she's just going toplotz.
510
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:01,400
These are you from the olden days?
511
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:03,166
Yes, if you keep your eyes peeled,
512
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,300
you may see a stegosaurus in the background.
513
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,433
MAGGIE: Oh, is that adorable!
514
00:21:10,283 --> 00:21:12,233
FRAN: Oh, look at my mother.
515
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:15,400
NILES: Her hair was much smaller then.
516
00:21:15,433 --> 00:21:18,283
As her hips got wider, so did her hair.
517
00:21:18,316 --> 00:21:20,416
Kind of a balancing act.
518
00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,416
BRIGHTON: Oh, my. You're in a hurry.
519
00:21:22,450 --> 00:21:25,660
FRAN: There must have been a sale somewhere.
520
00:21:25,100 --> 00:21:27,100
Oh, you're already watching something.
521
00:21:27,133 --> 00:21:29,200
Oh, that's okay. That's okay.
522
00:21:29,233 --> 00:21:32,266
We're just watching some adorable shots of me,
523
00:21:32,300 --> 00:21:36,830
but I made you all copies, so...
524
00:21:38,660 --> 00:21:39,233
What's that, Daddy?
525
00:21:39,266 --> 00:21:42,366
It's a special Mother's Day gift for all of us.
526
00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,250
Watch it carefully. Here it comes.
527
00:21:46,283 --> 00:21:47,366
Oh!
528
00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,300
Yeah!
529
00:21:50,266 --> 00:21:52,450
Boy, I was a real jerk back then.
530
00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:54,300
Sorry, Maggie.
531
00:21:54,333 --> 00:21:57,283
Move it or lose it.
532
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,333
I'm gonna get you!
533
00:21:59,366 --> 00:22:01,116
I did my best.
534
00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:02,483
[GROANS]
535
00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:05,233
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, your first flop.
536
00:22:07,383 --> 00:22:10,266
NILES: We worked on that spontaneous wave for hours.
537
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:12,133
[FRAN CHUCKLING]
538
00:22:12,166 --> 00:22:15,300
FRAN: Mm. Aw...
539
00:22:15,333 --> 00:22:18,250
Gracie, that's you, angel.
540
00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:22,483
MAGGIE: Oh, there's Mom.
541
00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:34,250
[♪♪♪]
542
00:22:39,283 --> 00:22:42,266
I remember that.
543
00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,483
♪♪ Anything you could do I could do better ♪♪
544
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,500
♪♪ I could do anything Better than you ♪♪
545
00:23:03,830 --> 00:23:04,350
♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪
546
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:06,660
♪♪ No, you can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I can ♪♪
547
00:23:06,100 --> 00:23:07,450
♪♪ Can't ♪♪ ♪♪ Yes, I c-- ♪♪
548
00:23:09,100 --> 00:23:11,366
♪♪ Anything you could be I could be greater ♪♪
549
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,000
♪♪ I could be greater-- ♪♪
550
00:23:13,330 --> 00:23:15,830
Oh, I'm sorry. I screwed it up.
551
00:23:17,500 --> 00:23:19,383
♪♪ Anything you could be I could be greater ♪♪
552
00:23:19,416 --> 00:23:22,366
♪♪ I could be-- ♪♪ Ooh, I'm sorry.
553
00:23:25,233 --> 00:23:28,660
Oy! I always get stuck on that same lyric.
38406
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