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[MUSIC PLAYING]
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I am so sick of all this snow.
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Mm.
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There's a pigeon frozen to the windowsill.
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Oh, gee.
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Look at this gorgeous tanned family
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relaxing on the beach.
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Oh! Who is that attractive brunette
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in the background there?
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Oh, gee, you know, that must be the nanny.
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No.
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No, it couldn't be. Her mouth's closed.
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You know, actually,
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this does look very inviting.
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Mm-hmm.
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I suppose we could all do with a break.
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Hey, let's go to the Cayman Club.
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Oh, yeah.
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They've got that fabulous teen program.
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Oh... too bad you're only 12.
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Oh, yeah, but you can be unpopular
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with a whole new bunch of kids.
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Best of all,
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they have a separate dining room for children.
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I don't care, as long as I get some color.
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Wait a minute.
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Kids' programs, separate dining rooms.
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What kind of place is this?
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It sounds like you guys would never see each other.
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Well, yeah.
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That's kind of the point.
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It's a vacation.
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A family vacation you spend with your family.
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We spent every summer together in Miami.
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How could you go to Miami in the summer?
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Easy, drive south and hang a left at hell.
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Wasn't it hot and humid and gross?
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Yeah, but it was off-season rates,
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so we got to stay twice as long.
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Plus, the Fountainbleu
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had this fabulous seafood extravaganza.
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Oh, buffet tip:
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Always go past the rolls, right to the lobster and shrimp.
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Did you write that down, Niles?
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It's all up here, sir.
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Oh, you guys'll have such a great time,
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and you'll come back
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with a whole new lease on life.
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Of course, I'll still be here,
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saddled with the old lease-- Miss Fine.
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Shoveling snow in the walkway. Miss Fine.
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Probably fall, break my head.
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Oh, you'll pick me up when you get back. Miss Fine!
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What?
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If I'm traveling with the children,
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naturally I expect the nanny to accompany us.
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Oh...
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How kind of you to think of me.
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What about Niles, though?
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Don't you want a little peace and quiet?
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Desperately. How soon can you all pack?
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Oh...
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♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
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♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
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♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there to sell makeup But the father saw more ♪♪
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♪♪ She had style, she had flair ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there ♪♪
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♪♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪♪
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♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪
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♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
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♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
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♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
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♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪
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♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
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A vacation? That's a splendid idea.
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I've been dying to get away.
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Well, now's your chance, since I'll be out of town.
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Oh.
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I hear Club Med has
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a "desperate women with no prospects" package.
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It's a waste of money.
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So I've heard.
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Oh, C.C., you know we'd like to take you with us,
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but this is really a time for me to be alone with the family.
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Woo-hoo, Mr. Sheffield!
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Oh, wait till you see the adorable bathing suit
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I got for the honeymoon--
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I mean, the vacation.
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Oh, Grace will look very cute in that.
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What Grace? This is for me.
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If we're going to Gilligan's Island,
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I want to be Ginger.
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You mean you're going with them?
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A nanny's work is never done.
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Well, if you'll all excuse me,
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I have a life to get on with.
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I have a standing invitation
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with a certain senator.
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Mm, what some politicians won't do for a vote.
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GRACE: ♪♪ Ooh-wee ♪♪ ♪♪ Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪
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♪♪ Won't you let me Take you on a sea cruise? ♪♪
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Yeah!
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Oh, they don't write 'em like that anymore.
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I can't wait to go snorkeling.
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Me too.
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Maggie floating face-down in the water?
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I'm there.
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Niles, you didn't have to drive us to the airport.
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Oh, yes, I did, sir.
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If need be, I would've carried you.
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Oh, I can't stand driving backwards.
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I get carsick.
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Uh, Miss Babcock,
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would you mind switching with me?
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Is it absolutely necessary?
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Did you see the pea soup scene
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inThe Exorcist?
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All right, all right.
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Okay. Thank you.
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Oh!
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Oop, whoops!
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You got a run in your stocking.
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Oh, no. It's just a spider vein.
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Oh, these lifeguards are gorgeous.
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I can't wait to drown.
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Not that we're ever going to get there
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with this traffic.
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I know a shortcut.
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No. No, no. We'll stay on the expressway.
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It's the most direct route.
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Well, that's what my father said
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when we were on our way to see Liza
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at the Westbury Music Fair.
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P.S.: We got there so late,
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She was halfway through her encore of "New York."
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Don't you mean "New York, New York"?
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That's how late we were.
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MAXWELL: Miss Fine, we've passed that same derelict six times.
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Are we there yet?
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I told you to go before we left the house.
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I didn't have to go then.
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Whatever you do,
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don't think about rushing rivers
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or babbling brooks
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or waterfalls.
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♪♪ I'm singin' in the rain ♪♪
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Is that a gas station?
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No.
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Say, where's Ronnie's Slack Shack?
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Who cares?
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Well, I'm losing all my landmarks.
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Everything is white from the snow.
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Oh, I know what we'll do. I know.
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We'll go to my mother's.
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From there, I could find my way anywhere.
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Well, couldn't you just pretend
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that you've just left your mother's
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and are picking me up here, on the way to the airport?
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Forget it!
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If you're taking me away for the weekend,
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the least you could do is pick me up.
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What kind of girl do you think I am?
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What are you doing here?
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Where's your bathroom?
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Oh, down the hall, but don't use the rosette soaps.
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They're just for show.
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The Glade is under the sink!
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Your father was just in there.
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Oh...
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I have to go too. Where's your other bathroom?
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Oh, it's in the luncheonette on the corner,
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but they make you order something.
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I recommend the grilled cheese.
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I am so sorry for this intrusion, Mrs. Fine.
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Oh, not at all.
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It's an honor to have you in our house.
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You couldn't call,
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tell a person that you're coming?
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I would've Windexed the couch!
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Ma!
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Mrs. Fine, please, don't go to any trouble.
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We'll only gonna be here for a minute.
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We're on our way to the airport.
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Yeah.
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You mean you haven't heard?
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What? Heard what?
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I just saw it on TV.
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It's the worst blizzard in 30 years.
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Oh, it doesn't look that bad.
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Oh, God.
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Did Kathie Lee come into the studio?
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No. Oh, it's bad!
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Yeah!
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All the airports and the bridges are closed.
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What?
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Are you telling me we're actually stuck here?
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What about our vacation?
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The Caribbean-- feh!
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You never know when there's a revolution, a coop.
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You'll stay here where you're nice and safe.
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So, are you hungry?
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I could make a rump roast.
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I got a tongue in the freezer.
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What did she say?
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Well, I am feeling all refreshed
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and raring to go!
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Who's gonna tell her?
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Oh, please, allow me.
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The bridges, airports, and weekends with a senator
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have been shut down due to the blizzard.
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Good one, Niles.
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Let's go!
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Oh, I get it. You're all in on it, huh?
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[GIGGLING]
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Tell me he's joking!
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It won't be so bad.
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Ma's gonna boil a tongue.
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TELEVISION: Wheel...
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Of...
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Fortune!
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FRAN: What's Vanna wearing?
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A blue short sequined décolleté.
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Oh, that's a rerun!
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Have you ever had the opportunity
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of working with Merv Griffin?
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Uh--
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The man is brilliant.
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You know, he still makes up the puzzles
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all by himself.
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He's a giant in the industry.
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Yeah, his weight does go up and down,
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God bless him.
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Oh, my goodness.
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Miss Fine, what are you wearing?
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Well, as far as I'm concerned,
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our vacation is starting right now.
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Then I want a refund.
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Oh, there's always one in the tour group.
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Miss Babcock,
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you've hardly touched your tongue.
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Actually, I'm on a no-tongue diet.
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Oh, the senator will be so disappointed.
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I think it's really good, Mrs. Fine.
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Mm!
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Say, I know what'll set the mood.
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How about a let's-get-acquainted cocktail party?
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Who wants wine?
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Oh, absolutely! Oh, please.
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Red or purple?
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Don't you have anything drier?
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Um, Bailey's Irish Cream?
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Perhaps for dessert.
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No!
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For dessert we're having Jell-O 1-2-3.
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Ma, I thought they stopped making that
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in the early '70s.
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Well, I've been saving it
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for a special occasion.
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If this doesn't knock me out,
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hit me with the bottle.
271
00:10:29,466 --> 00:10:31,383
Hey, hey, hey, little one.
272
00:10:31,416 --> 00:10:33,330
What did I say?
273
00:10:33,660 --> 00:10:34,300
No swimming in the ocean
274
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:37,133
for two hours after eating tongue.
275
00:10:37,166 --> 00:10:39,466
And you should put on some sunblock.
276
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,216
You don't want to blotch, do you?
277
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,150
One bam and mah jongg!
278
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:47,000
This is terrifying.
279
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,330
Are you telling me this Gilligan chap
280
00:10:49,660 --> 00:10:51,500
never gets off the island?
281
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,483
He got off once,
282
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:56,366
but then they went back with the Harlem Globetrotters.
283
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:59,150
I think I'll go and watch the game with Mortie.
284
00:10:59,183 --> 00:11:00,400
Well, keep your eyeglasses on.
285
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:03,366
He's clipping his toenails, and those suckers can fly.
286
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,300
This is pathetic.
287
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:07,433
Right now, I should be windsurfing
288
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,416
into the sunset with this guy.
289
00:11:09,450 --> 00:11:13,383
His tanned... buff arms around me.
290
00:11:13,416 --> 00:11:15,116
In your dreams.
291
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:18,160
And even then, I'll be watching you.
292
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,160
Don't feel so bad, Maggie.
293
00:11:20,500 --> 00:11:21,830
[SHRIEKS]
294
00:11:21,116 --> 00:11:22,350
Excellent!
295
00:11:22,383 --> 00:11:24,483
Oh, that was so satisfying.
296
00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:27,283
Brighton, you are so immature.
297
00:11:27,316 --> 00:11:29,250
Did you find the who-cut-the-cheese pillow?
298
00:11:29,283 --> 00:11:30,483
No!
299
00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,166
I'm in hell.
300
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:35,466
Join the club.
301
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,830
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
302
00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:38,333
SYLVIA: That's the doorbell.
303
00:11:38,366 --> 00:11:41,216
Thanks, Ma. We were all wondering.
304
00:11:43,183 --> 00:11:44,383
Oh, that's okay, Niles. I'll get it.
305
00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:47,250
Oh, sorry. Force of habit.
306
00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,160
Oh, look!
307
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,330
It's the cute cabaña boy.
308
00:11:52,300 --> 00:11:53,433
Hi, Kenny. What's up?
309
00:11:53,466 --> 00:11:55,466
How's your parents? What do you need?
310
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,416
Not much. They're fine. Fabric softener.
311
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,830
Oh...
312
00:11:59,116 --> 00:12:00,200
Come on in.
313
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,200
Boy, look how big you got.
314
00:12:02,233 --> 00:12:04,300
You really grew into your ears.
315
00:12:04,333 --> 00:12:07,466
Well, I had that growth spurt after my Bar Mitzvah.
316
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,116
Hey...
317
00:12:09,150 --> 00:12:12,283
You want to meet a real liveshiksa
318
00:12:12,316 --> 00:12:15,166
Kenny, this is Maggie. Maggie, Kenny.
319
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:17,100
Hi. Hi.
320
00:12:17,133 --> 00:12:19,250
Mix and mingle!
321
00:12:19,283 --> 00:12:20,416
We're stuck here.
322
00:12:20,450 --> 00:12:22,333
I've been stuck here for 17 years.
323
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:25,366
At least you get to leave when the snow melts.
324
00:12:26,383 --> 00:12:27,483
Cool jeans.
325
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,116
Oh, thanks. I got 'em at Ronnie's Slack Shack.
326
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,316
Where is that place?
327
00:12:31,350 --> 00:12:33,660
It's on Union Turnpike,
328
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,266
right next door to Vinnie's Jacket Racket.
329
00:12:35,300 --> 00:12:37,133
Oh, yeah...
330
00:12:37,166 --> 00:12:39,333
By the Blouse House.
331
00:12:39,366 --> 00:12:42,200
Does anyone have a sharp knife?
332
00:12:42,233 --> 00:12:44,233
Hey, you want to come down to the new launderette?
333
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,400
If you think I'm cute now,
334
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:48,183
you should see me under the fluorescent lights.
335
00:12:49,216 --> 00:12:52,100
Oh, aren't they cute?
336
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:54,416
It's just likeBlue Lagoon.
337
00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:58,366
She's Brooke Shields and he's David Brenner.
338
00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,316
He seemed like a nice young man.
339
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,266
If anyone wants my opinion--
340
00:13:02,300 --> 00:13:03,366
Hands?
341
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,483
Niles...
342
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,450
Sorry, sir, but every time I try to get out,
343
00:13:07,483 --> 00:13:10,000
she pulls me back in.
344
00:13:10,433 --> 00:13:12,000
Say what you will,
345
00:13:12,330 --> 00:13:13,350
but this is an iffy neighborhood.
346
00:13:13,383 --> 00:13:15,350
For all we know, he could be a member of a gang.
347
00:13:15,383 --> 00:13:18,350
Oh, what gang? The Oys in the 'Hood?
348
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,150
I'm telling you, this kid is a doll.
349
00:13:25,183 --> 00:13:26,250
His father invented
350
00:13:26,283 --> 00:13:27,400
the little plastic thingies
351
00:13:27,433 --> 00:13:29,200
on the ends of shoelaces.
352
00:13:29,233 --> 00:13:31,466
Oh, of course-- the lace-thingie heir.
353
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,330
Where have you been hiding him?
354
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:36,166
Oh, stop. Mr. Sheffield, no.
355
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,116
It's your vacation. Oh, I know,
356
00:13:38,150 --> 00:13:39,233
and I'm having such a lovely time
357
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:41,830
here in the sitting room,
358
00:13:41,116 --> 00:13:42,400
but I thought I'd take a little scenic tour
359
00:13:42,433 --> 00:13:44,133
Oh, while you're in there,
360
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:46,250
will you pull out the capon for tomorrow?
361
00:13:46,283 --> 00:13:47,333
And smear on
362
00:13:47,366 --> 00:13:50,116
some of the Campbell's Creamy Mushroom.
363
00:13:51,483 --> 00:13:53,150
It is awfully nice of your parents
364
00:13:53,183 --> 00:13:54,300
to take us in like this.
365
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,300
Well, that's the kind of people they are.
366
00:13:56,333 --> 00:14:01,000
They consider you all family, and when it comes to family,
367
00:14:01,330 --> 00:14:02,500
we Fines stick together.
368
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:03,150
I'll tell you,
369
00:14:03,183 --> 00:14:05,000
there's more warmth in this little apartment
370
00:14:05,330 --> 00:14:07,133
than in all the Caribbean islands
371
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:09,500
put together.
372
00:14:09,830 --> 00:14:11,160
Oh, hello, what's this?
373
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,450
A fortune chicken?
374
00:14:14,116 --> 00:14:17,233
Oh, is that not romantic?
375
00:14:17,266 --> 00:14:20,000
My father left my mother a love letter
376
00:14:20,330 --> 00:14:21,233
and stuffed it in the chicken
377
00:14:21,266 --> 00:14:23,383
between the heart and the giblets.
378
00:14:23,416 --> 00:14:26,266
Oh, isn't that... Grotesque.
379
00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:29,000
It's a little smeared. Can you make that out?
380
00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:30,233
Here...
381
00:14:30,266 --> 00:14:33,366
Uh, "My darling, my passion for you...
382
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,150
lives forever."
383
00:14:35,183 --> 00:14:38,116
Oh, I can just weep from the beauty
384
00:14:38,150 --> 00:14:40,283
that is my parents' union.
385
00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:43,400
"Yours forever, Paul Zelaznik."
386
00:14:43,433 --> 00:14:45,300
Paul Zelaznik?
387
00:14:46,266 --> 00:14:47,366
Who's Paul Zelaznik?
388
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,366
The butcher. Oh, my God!
389
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,450
Is my mother having an affair?
390
00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:55,416
SYLVIA: Fran! Fran?
391
00:14:55,450 --> 00:14:57,000
Here, here!
392
00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,660
I don't want it!
393
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:00,450
I was thinking...
394
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,183
Daddy's not in the mood for chicken.
395
00:15:03,216 --> 00:15:04,483
Oh, can you blame him?
396
00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,433
So I thought I'd make spaghetti.
397
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:08,366
Make sure there's enough ketchup.
398
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,400
All right.
399
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:13,216
My mother and the butcher.
400
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:14,400
Could this be happening?
401
00:15:14,433 --> 00:15:15,433
Oh, come on, Miss Fine.
402
00:15:15,466 --> 00:15:17,330
We don't know for certain
403
00:15:17,660 --> 00:15:18,266
that note was meant for your mother.
404
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:19,366
I mean, there are plenty of ways
405
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,500
it could've gotten into the chicken.
406
00:15:21,830 --> 00:15:22,183
How? It sat on it?
407
00:15:22,216 --> 00:15:23,466
There you go!
408
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,500
SYLVIA: Oh, God!
409
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:27,383
Everyone, come and see!
410
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:33,416
I hope no great expectations
411
00:15:33,450 --> 00:15:35,433
accompany this outfit.
412
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:40,830
I bought this for Daddy to wear in the Poconos.
413
00:15:40,116 --> 00:15:43,000
Poor guy was living in a fool's paradise.
414
00:15:44,133 --> 00:15:45,283
Thanks for your help.
415
00:15:45,316 --> 00:15:47,116
You know, if this heiress thing doesn't work out,
416
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:49,483
you could have a great career in fluffing and folding.
417
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,160
Thanks, Kenny. Shalom!
418
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,233
MAGGIE: Oh...
419
00:15:54,266 --> 00:15:57,216
You know, I hear Jewish men make excellent husbands.
420
00:15:57,250 --> 00:15:59,216
I wonder who she heard that from.
421
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:00,366
Probably Niles.
422
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:03,150
He's always buzzing something in her ear.
423
00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:06,100
Don't you think Kenny looks just like Luke Perry?
424
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,100
Poor thing.
425
00:16:08,133 --> 00:16:10,330
She's as blind as my father.
426
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:17,383
NILES: Ow!
427
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:19,400
Shh! You're gonna wake up Mr. Sheffield!
428
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:21,483
Oh, it's all right. I'm already awake.
429
00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:25,216
Brighton's having that kickboxing dream again.
430
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:27,316
Brighton. Brighton... honey...
431
00:16:27,350 --> 00:16:29,250
Go sleep with your sisters.
432
00:16:29,283 --> 00:16:30,450
C.C.'s in there.
433
00:16:30,483 --> 00:16:33,233
Well, she's used to getting kicked out of bed.
434
00:16:35,330 --> 00:16:36,660
Ow!
435
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,333
Oh, I'm sorry.
436
00:16:37,366 --> 00:16:40,233
Oh... peace at last.
437
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:44,000
Oh, for heaven's sakes!
438
00:16:44,330 --> 00:16:46,166
Miss Fine... Ow!
439
00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:48,416
Oh, sorry, old man.
440
00:16:48,450 --> 00:16:51,233
Even Gilligan had a hammock.
441
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,350
Miss Fine, it's 3 a.m.
442
00:16:55,383 --> 00:16:58,500
Who can sleep?
443
00:16:58,830 --> 00:16:59,316
Well, I wouldn't mind having a crack at it.
444
00:16:59,350 --> 00:17:03,500
Look at this picture of my mother and father
445
00:17:03,830 --> 00:17:05,350
at their 30th anniversary.
446
00:17:05,383 --> 00:17:07,216
You think you know someone!
447
00:17:07,250 --> 00:17:09,283
Who is this stranger I call Ma?
448
00:17:09,316 --> 00:17:12,133
Same person she always was--
449
00:17:12,166 --> 00:17:13,316
the one who made this house
450
00:17:13,350 --> 00:17:15,316
warmer than all the islands in the Caribbean.
451
00:17:15,350 --> 00:17:17,660
Oh yeah.
452
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:19,333
Did she have to warm up half of Queens too?
453
00:17:19,366 --> 00:17:22,660
Don't you realize the entire foundation
454
00:17:22,100 --> 00:17:24,100
by which I judge all relationships
455
00:17:24,133 --> 00:17:26,316
is just crumbling before my eyes?
456
00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:27,366
Oh, Miss Fine, you don't need
457
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:28,483
to lose your faith in marriage
458
00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,216
just because your mother turns out to be human.
459
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,483
Oh, there was a Jerry Vale tape
460
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,233
in the veal!
461
00:17:47,116 --> 00:17:49,283
Maxwell, I hope you don't mind,
462
00:17:49,316 --> 00:17:51,483
but Brighton insisted we trade places.
463
00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:58,500
Ah... There.
464
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:02,330
If you're looking for the hot water bottle,
465
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,200
that's not it.
466
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,166
More sausage?
467
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,100
Breakfast steak?
468
00:18:17,133 --> 00:18:19,160
Eat up, eat up!
469
00:18:19,500 --> 00:18:21,330
You'd love that, wouldn't you? The faster we eat,
470
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:23,183
the sooner you could go "shopping."
471
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,433
I'm through dusting, Mrs. Fine.
472
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:29,116
Can I be of any further service?
473
00:18:29,150 --> 00:18:30,283
Ma, you're not
474
00:18:30,316 --> 00:18:32,183
making her play "cleaning girl," are you?
475
00:18:32,216 --> 00:18:33,300
She does a good job.
476
00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:35,416
I can see myself in the couch.
477
00:18:35,450 --> 00:18:39,100
At the end of the day, I get paid a dollar.
478
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,133
A dollar, Ma?
479
00:18:41,166 --> 00:18:43,316
Well, she's got no experience.
480
00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,433
Unlike some people I know.
481
00:18:45,466 --> 00:18:48,200
What are you talking about? Like you don't know.
482
00:18:48,233 --> 00:18:50,333
Fran, I'd like to see you in the kitchen.
483
00:18:50,366 --> 00:18:52,416
No, Ma, I'd like to see you in the kitchen.
484
00:18:52,450 --> 00:18:54,183
Fine, have it your way.
485
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:00,350
What's with you? What's with you?
486
00:19:00,383 --> 00:19:01,466
Me? Me?
487
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,183
What's withyou? What's withyou?
488
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:07,116
Excuse us!
489
00:19:07,150 --> 00:19:08,383
We'll start lunch.
490
00:19:10,433 --> 00:19:13,830
Okay, Ma, I want to know for once and for all,
491
00:19:13,116 --> 00:19:14,316
what is going on here?
492
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:16,183
What are you talking about?
493
00:19:16,216 --> 00:19:19,330
Oh! Chopped sirloin! Extra lean!
494
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:20,283
Look at this.
495
00:19:20,316 --> 00:19:22,450
Paulie the butcher takes very good care of me.
496
00:19:22,483 --> 00:19:24,116
Well, I'll bet.
497
00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:27,166
Oh, lookie here-- mail's in.
498
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,366
Fran, have you been going through my meat?
499
00:19:30,366 --> 00:19:32,150
It's not what you think.
500
00:19:32,183 --> 00:19:33,450
Ma, you and the butcher?
501
00:19:33,483 --> 00:19:35,200
How could you?
502
00:19:35,233 --> 00:19:37,830
Fran, you're blowing it all out of proportion.
503
00:19:37,116 --> 00:19:39,333
All we do is-- Oh, please, no details!
504
00:19:39,366 --> 00:19:41,450
Once I get a picture in my head...
505
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:44,150
It's just a little innocent flirting.
506
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,100
You mean you're not having an affair?
507
00:19:46,133 --> 00:19:47,366
No, of course not.
508
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,116
He winks at me,
509
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:52,350
and I tell him what a nice rump he has today,
510
00:19:52,383 --> 00:19:55,400
and I-- I get a roast half-price.
511
00:19:55,433 --> 00:19:58,000
Ma, you tramp.
512
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,200
Hey, we're on a fixed income here.
513
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:02,350
Yeah, well, what would Daddy say if he found out?
514
00:20:02,383 --> 00:20:04,216
He knows.
515
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,133
Sometimes he comes down,
516
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,383
and he watches Paulie give me the meat.
517
00:20:12,250 --> 00:20:15,316
This is like a really badGeraldo.
518
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,466
You can make fun because you're young.
519
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,433
You're still turning heads.
520
00:20:21,466 --> 00:20:24,133
For me, not so much anymore,
521
00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:28,200
but when Paul Zelaznik winks at me with his good eye,
522
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,160
I feel young again too.
523
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,166
What's the matter?
524
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,830
I think I can live with this...
525
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,300
As long as you and Daddy still love each other.
526
00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:42,133
Of course we do,
527
00:20:42,166 --> 00:20:44,200
and I'll tell you a little secret.
528
00:20:44,233 --> 00:20:47,000
Your father and I have better sex
529
00:20:47,330 --> 00:20:48,133
with a full freezer.
530
00:20:48,166 --> 00:20:50,250
Ma, I'm getting a picture!
531
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,433
There'll be no sleeping tonight.
532
00:20:58,216 --> 00:20:59,333
Wheel...
533
00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:00,366
Of...
534
00:21:00,400 --> 00:21:02,300
Fortune!
535
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:05,316
Come on, Ma! It's a new one!
536
00:21:05,350 --> 00:21:08,500
Here, Brighton, try this.
537
00:21:08,830 --> 00:21:10,500
Mm. Not bad. What is it?
538
00:21:10,830 --> 00:21:12,233
Stuffed derma. Delish.
539
00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:14,366
What's a derma? Skin.
540
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,250
No, sweetheart, it's not skin.
541
00:21:16,283 --> 00:21:17,400
It's intestines.
542
00:21:17,433 --> 00:21:20,483
Mortie, get out of the bathroom!
543
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,400
I thought after med school
544
00:21:23,433 --> 00:21:25,500
I'd go into stand-up comedy,
545
00:21:25,830 --> 00:21:26,433
sort of a big joke on my parents.
546
00:21:28,283 --> 00:21:31,160
Oh, buy a vowel, you twit.
547
00:21:31,433 --> 00:21:33,433
So everything's sorted out with your parents?
548
00:21:33,466 --> 00:21:35,660
Oh, yeah.
549
00:21:35,100 --> 00:21:36,383
They're like the Rock of Gibraltar.
550
00:21:36,416 --> 00:21:39,330
I don't know what you were so worried about.
551
00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,660
Can we come back here next year for our vacation?
552
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:44,283
Yes, we are having a good time, aren't we?
553
00:21:44,316 --> 00:21:46,383
That's because we're all together.
554
00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,366
Ah, who needs the Caribbean anyway?
555
00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:52,830
The roads are clear! The airport's open!
556
00:21:52,116 --> 00:21:55,160
All right, kids, pack it up. We're out of this dump.
557
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:58,200
[MUSIC PLAYING]
558
00:22:08,350 --> 00:22:11,160
ALL: ♪♪ Ooh-wee Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪
559
00:22:11,500 --> 00:22:13,300
♪♪ Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, baby ♪♪
560
00:22:13,333 --> 00:22:16,330
♪♪ Ooh-wee Ooh-wee, baby ♪♪
561
00:22:16,660 --> 00:22:18,483
♪♪ Won't you let me Take you on a sea cruise? ♪♪
562
00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:20,660
[FRAN LAUGHING]
563
00:22:20,100 --> 00:22:22,316
FRAN: Where's Brighton?
564
00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:24,660
More tongue?
565
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,116
Ah!
38762
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