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1
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Oh, honey, are you gorgeous!
2
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You look just like a virgin.
3
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Here, I brought you some crackers
4
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for your morning sickness.
5
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So when are you and Danny gonna set a date already?
6
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Oh, you know me,
7
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always a bridal consultant, never a bride.
8
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Right, Danny? What can I say?
9
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Well, how about, "Here's a ring. Pick a pattern?"
10
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I'm serious.
11
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We've been pre-engaged for three years already.
12
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I'm sorry.
13
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I should've said this sooner.
14
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I wanted to do it some place nice.
15
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Oh, wow.
16
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All right. Here goes.
17
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I've been thinking...
18
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we should start seeing other people.
19
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What? Since when you been thinking that?
20
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Since I saw Heather Bibelow.
21
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I can't believe you're telling me this.
22
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What, were you stringing me along
23
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because I'm your best salesgirl?
24
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That's the other thing.
25
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Heather needs a job.
26
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You're firing me?
27
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I can't believe I just wasted three years
28
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of an ever-dwindling youth on you and this dump!
29
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You can't fire me, Danny Imperiali.
30
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I quit!
31
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No. You fired me.
32
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That way, I can collect unemployment.
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♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪ In one Of those crushing scenes ♪♪
37
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♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
38
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
39
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♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪
40
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
41
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♪♪ She was there to sell makeup ♪♪
42
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♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
43
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♪♪ She had style, she had flair, she was there ♪♪
44
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♪♪ That's how she became The Nanny ♪♪
45
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♪♪ Who would have guessed That the girl we described ♪♪
46
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♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
47
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♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪
48
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
49
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♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪
50
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♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
51
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
52
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♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪
53
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♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪
54
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
55
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[DOORBELL RINGS]
56
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Hello, I'm Fran Fine,
57
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your Shades of the Orient cosmetics representative.
58
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Oy, what a loser.
59
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Hello, I'm Fran Fine--
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Yes, come in. We've been expecting you.
61
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Oh, you have?
62
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You are here for the nanny position?
63
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I could be.
64
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Wow, this place is nicer
65
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than my Uncle Jack's condo in Boca,
66
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and, you know, he bought the model.
67
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May I present your résumé to Mr. Sheffield?
68
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Uh... résumé?
69
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You know what? Why don't you go get this Mr. Sheffield,
70
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and I'll do the résumé presenting myself.
71
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As you wish.
72
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This ought to be good.
73
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We're never gonna find an actress for this part.
74
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Ann Miller passed. Gwen Verdon passed.
75
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Ruby Keeler passed...
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away, I believe.
77
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What's she doing on this list?
78
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Relax, darling.
79
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You need a shiatsu.
80
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Sorry to interrupt, sir.
81
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I see you're working hard as always,
82
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Miss Babcock.
83
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Theater has always been a passion of mine.
84
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Hmm. I can't wait to see what you'll be mounting next.
85
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Yes, Niles. What is it?
86
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Sir, there is a new nanny waiting to be interviewed.
87
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What happened to the old one?
88
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Brighton staged another fake suicide.
89
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Best one yet. Spread-eagle on the marble
90
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with a bit of catsup trickling from his ears.
91
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We've got half the money people
92
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in New York coming to our backers' party,
93
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and I will not have those children running loose!
94
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Not that I don't love them as if they were my very own.
95
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Mm-hmm.
96
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I do.
97
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BOY: Oh!
98
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Oh...
99
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Ah...
100
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Ohh.
101
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Do you have a pen?
102
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Oh, forget it.
103
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Brighton, you're losing your touch.
104
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I'm Maxwell Sheffield.
105
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This is my son,
106
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the late Brighton Sheffield.
107
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Wait. I know you.
108
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Esquire
109
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"New York's 10 most Eligible Widowers."
110
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My condolences, by the way.
111
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You readEsquire?
112
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When they list the 10 most eligible widowers, I do.
113
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Hi. I'm Fran Fine.
114
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Well, do come in.
115
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Oh, boy, do you have gorgeous tchotchkes.
116
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Ah-- I beg your pardon.
117
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Oh, you know, your bric-a-brac, dust collectors.
118
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Ah, the Rodin. Yes, well...
119
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He was-- He was well-known for his bronze tchotchkes.
120
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May I see your résumé, please?
121
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Oh, yeah. Sure.
122
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Crayon? Lipstick.
123
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Of course, and what a lovely shade.
124
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I hate her.
125
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Now, Brighton, let's not be hasty.
126
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Yeah, I haven't even sung "Climb Every Mountain" yet.
127
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Miss Fine, you seem to have listed
128
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the Queen Mother as a reference.
129
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What? Let me see that.
130
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Oh, no. That's not the Queen Mother.
131
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That's my mother from Queens!
132
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Hi, Daddy.
133
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Oh, hello, sweetheart.
134
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Maggie.
135
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Hello, Father.
136
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Oh, boy, are you gorgeous!
137
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And look at that hair.
138
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You see, now, you cannot get color like that
139
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from out of a bottle. No way.
140
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I'll be in my room doing my homework.
141
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Really lights up a room, doesn't she?
142
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You don't need personality when you're an heiress.
143
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So, sweetheart,
144
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how was therapy today, hmm?
145
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Any, uh-- any breakthroughs?
146
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Dr. Borne and I did some regression.
147
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She took me back through my childhood.
148
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Must have been a quick trip.
149
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Oh, you have no idea how complicated I am.
150
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Therapy, huh?
151
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It was a lot easier than talking to us directly.
152
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All right. That's it. Brighton, go to your room.
153
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All right. Come on, Gracie.
154
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Let's leave Father alone to hire someone else
155
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to take care of his problem children.
156
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Oh, you're a bitter little person, aren't you?
157
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We're gonna get along fine.
158
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I'm-- I'm sorry you had to see that.
159
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I'll show you out.
160
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What'd I do? One smart-ass remark from the kid,
161
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and I don't get the job?
162
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That's not fair.
163
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As you can see, I need help here--
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more help than can be provided
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by a door-to-door cosmetics girl.
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[TELEPHONE RINGING]
167
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Niles?
168
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Niles!
169
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Oh, for God's sakes, I'll get it.
170
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Sheffield residence.
171
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No, honey, it's Fran.
172
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Give me that.
173
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It's the nanny agency.
174
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Maxwell Sheffield here.
175
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Thank you.
176
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Oh, yeah. Right.
177
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No, no. Monday is not acceptable.
178
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Listen, I need a nanny this weekend.
179
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Do you have any experience with children?
180
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Are you kidding?
181
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I practically raised my sister's two kids
182
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when she was suing her chiropodist.
183
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There has to be another agency.
184
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Oh, please! I come from Flushing.
185
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There is nothing these kids can throw at me
186
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that I haven't seen before,
187
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except maybe their trust funds.
188
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All right. You're hired, but on a trial basis.
189
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Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield!
190
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Thank you so much. You won't regret it.
191
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Somehow, I'm rather sure I will.
192
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Niles will show you to your room.
193
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Oh! The nanny gets to live here?
194
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Is that a problem?
195
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Oh, yeah. I'm sure I'm gonna miss being 29
196
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and still living at home with my parents,
197
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but, if it's best for the kids...
198
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Twenty-nine.
199
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Don't start with me, Niles.
200
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[CHUCKLES]
201
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Good morning, everyone!
202
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Ooh, that Jacuzzi tub really knows
203
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how to perk a girl up in the morning.
204
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Do you people sleep like that?
205
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No. In a rather astounding coincidence,
206
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I sleep in a pair of pink, fuzzy slippers just like yours.
207
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A simple "We dress for breakfast"
208
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would suffice.
209
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You have to tell me these things, Niles.
210
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I simply assumed--
211
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Don't assume anything with me.
212
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I'm from Flushing, for God's sakes.
213
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Oh, I just love a good buffet.
214
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It's free, Miss Fine.
215
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You're allowed to go back.
216
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Oh!
217
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Oh... where do I sit?
218
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The previous nanny sat in the kitchen.
219
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Oh, how antisocial!
220
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:10,416
So, kids, what should we do today?
221
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,500
Should we take a walk in the park
222
00:09:12,830 --> 00:09:14,283
or maybe just kick back, hang around the mansion?
223
00:09:14,316 --> 00:09:15,400
We have to go somewhere.
224
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Father's kicked us out again.
225
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,330
Now, Brighton, I didn't kick you out.
226
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,660
I merely asked that you not torment the caterers
227
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while they're preparing for this evening's soirée.
228
00:09:23,233 --> 00:09:25,433
Oh, a soirée, huh?
229
00:09:25,466 --> 00:09:28,300
Well, I got a sister who's a caterer.
230
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She does a "pork-o de pruneau."
231
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That's French for "pork and prune."
232
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Not only delicious, but a natural digestive.
233
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Thank you for sharing that, Miss Fine.
234
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I could get you a deal.
235
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That's all right. C.C.'s made all the arrangements.
236
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C.C.? What's a C.C.?
237
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Father's lady friend.
238
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Maggie, dear, she's a business associate.
239
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Mm-hm.
240
00:09:56,233 --> 00:09:58,330
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
241
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Well, I just hope there's enough food.
242
00:09:59,450 --> 00:10:01,250
You know, shiksas are notorious
243
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for not ordering enough food.
244
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Booze, yes, but food, they don't know from.
245
00:10:08,466 --> 00:10:11,166
Shiksa. Is that like a tchotchke?
246
00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:14,233
Yes, but... They cost a lot more.
247
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,333
It's Ms. Babcock for you, sir.
248
00:10:19,366 --> 00:10:21,233
Oh, thank you, Niles.
249
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:22,416
I'll take her in the library.
250
00:10:23,383 --> 00:10:26,200
Ms. Babcock loves to be taken in the library.
251
00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:29,660
I'll bet.
252
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,433
So, kids, we're having a party.
253
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What are we gonna wear?
254
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We're not invited.
255
00:10:35,333 --> 00:10:37,150
And neither are you.
256
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Oh, come on. Your father's paying for it.
257
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Of course, we're invited.
258
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We'll eat, drink. You'll bring a date.
259
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Maggie doesn't date.
260
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Never?
261
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The boys haven't noticed me yet.
262
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,333
Oh, they've noticed, Maggie, and...
263
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that's why you don't date!
264
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,300
What is wrong with you, Brighton?
265
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Middle-child syndrome.
266
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Thank you, Sybil.
267
00:10:58,183 --> 00:11:00,500
Now, knock it off.
268
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,116
Knock it off, all of you. We're a family here.
269
00:11:06,150 --> 00:11:07,216
Now, we have a party tonight.
270
00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:08,333
There's a lot we have to do.
271
00:11:08,366 --> 00:11:10,250
We'll go shopping, get our hair done,
272
00:11:10,283 --> 00:11:12,000
get a manicure--
273
00:11:12,330 --> 00:11:13,483
You'll get a French tip. It's a very clean look.
274
00:11:15,183 --> 00:11:16,333
So I'll go get changed,
275
00:11:16,366 --> 00:11:18,316
and then we'll go, we'll do.
276
00:11:18,350 --> 00:11:21,500
Let me just take this. I hate to waste.
277
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,333
Dad is gonna hate this.
278
00:11:24,366 --> 00:11:27,166
C.C.'s going to totally freak.
279
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,166
Sounds like a party to me!
280
00:11:35,366 --> 00:11:38,150
So, well, what's your favorite color?
281
00:11:38,183 --> 00:11:41,300
I-- I don't know. Beige?
282
00:11:43,500 --> 00:11:44,166
Oy!
283
00:11:45,100 --> 00:11:47,100
So, Gracie, how are you doing, honey?
284
00:11:47,133 --> 00:11:50,330
I'm feeling empty and alone.
285
00:11:51,383 --> 00:11:53,660
You want a Tic Tac?
286
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,416
Okay! Right on.
287
00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:56,433
So tell me about your new job already.
288
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,316
Who's the guy? Where's the house?
289
00:11:58,350 --> 00:12:00,216
I brought pictures. Wait.
290
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,166
Here. [GASPS]
291
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,216
That's my boss. Cute, huh?
292
00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:05,300
A little repressed, though.
293
00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:07,366
What a head of hair! And it's all his.
294
00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:09,216
[GASPS]
295
00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,250
Oh, that's the butler, Niles.
296
00:12:11,283 --> 00:12:13,366
A butler? That's very classy!
297
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,433
Val, it's like living at Caesar's Palace.
298
00:12:17,183 --> 00:12:19,660
And the kids. Yeah, well, you know.
299
00:12:19,100 --> 00:12:20,483
They're gonna need the most work.
300
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,433
I mean, that one's got no personality.
301
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:25,400
This one's got multiple personalities.
302
00:12:29,383 --> 00:12:30,483
And Brighton...
303
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:32,366
Brighton? Where's Brighton?
304
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,166
Are these dummies anatomically correct?
305
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,830
What do you care?
306
00:12:37,116 --> 00:12:39,200
You're 10 years old. Would you be normal?
307
00:12:40,830 --> 00:12:42,216
Oh, cool! A cockroach.
308
00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,150
Hey, you got any rats?
309
00:12:44,183 --> 00:12:46,450
Wait till Danny gets back.
310
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:48,500
Where is he, anyway?
311
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:49,216
Getting his back waxed.
312
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,483
Oh, good. So we got all day.
313
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:54,316
[SIGHS] Okay, well.
314
00:12:54,350 --> 00:12:56,500
We gotta make Maggie beautiful.
315
00:12:56,830 --> 00:12:57,233
Yeah, like that's gonna happen.
316
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:58,483
Shut up, Brighton!
317
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:00,316
Hey, be nicer to your sister.
318
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,250
Why, because we're a family?
319
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:04,200
Yes, that's right, and some day,
320
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,660
your father's gonna be old and sick,
321
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,350
You're gonna want him to live with her.
322
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,000
It's so fancy.
323
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,116
Everyone'll look at me.
324
00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,500
So? They'll think you're a beautiful girl.
325
00:13:21,330 --> 00:13:22,183
I-- I don't know.
326
00:13:22,216 --> 00:13:23,466
I'm not good at this like you are.
327
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,500
Honey, that's what I'm here for.
328
00:13:26,830 --> 00:13:28,200
What do you think? You turn 14, and boom,
329
00:13:28,233 --> 00:13:30,483
you've got the savoir faire and sophistication
330
00:13:31,160 --> 00:13:33,350
of a woman of my years and experience?
331
00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:36,283
Look, when I was 14...
332
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,160
Oh, go try it on.
333
00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:43,000
Who knew this job would be so demanding?
334
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,116
Please! I'm exhausted!
335
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,133
[PIANO PLAYING]
336
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:55,383
Has anyone told you
337
00:13:55,416 --> 00:13:57,433
how handsome you look this evening?
338
00:13:57,466 --> 00:14:00,133
Maxwell, you're such a flirt.
339
00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:03,160
It's going rather well, don't you think?
340
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:04,183
Oh, it's perfect.
341
00:14:04,216 --> 00:14:06,250
The food is exquisite, the music divine,
342
00:14:06,283 --> 00:14:09,330
and the guests obscenely wealthy.
343
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:12,200
Doesn't Ivana look marvelous?
344
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,400
My surgeon, of course.
345
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:18,500
Miss Fine would like a word with you, sir.
346
00:14:18,830 --> 00:14:19,366
Really? Where is she?
347
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,160
FRAN: I'm up here.
348
00:14:23,233 --> 00:14:24,416
What's that?
349
00:14:26,830 --> 00:14:27,350
That's... the nanny.
350
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,450
♪♪ Hey, hey, the lady in red ♪♪
351
00:14:30,483 --> 00:14:34,283
♪♪ The fellas are crazy For the lady in red... ♪♪
352
00:14:34,316 --> 00:14:36,250
Look at that dress.
353
00:14:36,283 --> 00:14:37,366
Maxwell!
354
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,450
You look... nice too. I said that.
355
00:14:40,483 --> 00:14:42,316
Handsome. You said handsome.
356
00:14:44,183 --> 00:14:46,500
You like? I borrowed it from my cousin,
357
00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:48,000
Miss Long Island, 1989.
358
00:14:49,133 --> 00:14:51,160
A very good year.
359
00:14:52,133 --> 00:14:54,100
I just wanted to tell you the children are ready.
360
00:14:54,133 --> 00:14:56,283
For what? To come to the party.
361
00:14:56,316 --> 00:14:59,200
Miss Fine, the children are not invited to the party.
362
00:14:59,233 --> 00:15:00,433
They're not?
363
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:02,400
Oh, is my face red?
364
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,160
Well, now it matches the rest of you.
365
00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:09,466
Oh, there's that rapier wit we've come to count on.
366
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:12,466
Yes, now we've all met each other.
367
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,166
Why don't you go back upstairs
368
00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,483
and inform the children they can't come.
369
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,250
Hi, Daddy.
370
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:19,333
Oh, Miss Fine, you play dirty.
371
00:15:19,366 --> 00:15:20,433
Hello, sweetheart.
372
00:15:20,466 --> 00:15:22,100
Do you like my party dress?
373
00:15:22,133 --> 00:15:24,160
Loehmann's, 70% off.
374
00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,283
She'll never shop retail again.
375
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,300
Hi, Dad. Surprised?
376
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:33,830
No tricks, Brighton.
377
00:15:33,116 --> 00:15:34,416
Best behavior. Hmm.
378
00:15:37,216 --> 00:15:39,330
All right.
379
00:15:42,116 --> 00:15:44,330
Come on, Maggie. Don't be shy, honey.
380
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,250
My God. I had no idea how much she looked like her mother.
381
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,150
Do you like it?
382
00:15:54,183 --> 00:15:56,183
Oh... you look so...
383
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:58,266
so grown-up.
384
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,283
So, Daddy, can we come to the party?
385
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:06,383
Of course you can.
386
00:16:07,433 --> 00:16:09,150
We'll discuss this later.
387
00:16:10,433 --> 00:16:12,660
Friends...
388
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:14,166
Friends, can I have your attention, please?
389
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:17,366
Before I tell you a little about my latest production,
390
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,216
I'd like to introduce to you
391
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,483
the three greatest productions of my life,
392
00:16:23,660 --> 00:16:24,150
my dear children.
393
00:16:28,450 --> 00:16:30,316
Oh, isn't that sweet?
394
00:16:30,350 --> 00:16:32,300
Couldn't you just drop dead?
395
00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:35,216
I don't know. Could you?
396
00:16:36,383 --> 00:16:38,500
Let me take a picture.
397
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,433
Uh, Miss Fine, I think you've done enough--
398
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:42,166
Lovely family, Sheffield.
399
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:43,466
Smile, everyone.
400
00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,660
FRAN: Great!
401
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:48,450
C.C.: You might want to--
402
00:16:49,316 --> 00:16:50,450
keep a low profile.
403
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:53,160
You're a little out of your element here.
404
00:16:53,500 --> 00:16:54,366
Oh, don't worry about me.
405
00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,250
I've been to my share of affairs.
406
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:59,133
My Uncle Jack threw a weekend bar mitzvah
407
00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,366
with aStar Trek they're still talking about.
408
00:17:03,266 --> 00:17:05,660
Good night, Ivana!
409
00:17:05,100 --> 00:17:08,150
Don't worry, honey. You'll find someone else too.
410
00:17:10,383 --> 00:17:12,133
Niles, more.
411
00:17:13,330 --> 00:17:16,233
Well, do I count four zeros on this check?
412
00:17:16,266 --> 00:17:18,000
All right. I'll admit it.
413
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:19,150
Having the children here this evening
414
00:17:19,183 --> 00:17:21,183
wasn't the complete disaster it might have been.
415
00:17:21,216 --> 00:17:23,333
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, you gush.
416
00:17:23,366 --> 00:17:25,400
All right, all right. It went splendidly.
417
00:17:25,433 --> 00:17:27,383
Here, let me put that-- thank you--
418
00:17:27,416 --> 00:17:29,233
with the others.
419
00:17:29,266 --> 00:17:30,333
[SIGHS]
420
00:17:30,366 --> 00:17:33,450
Well, congratulations, Nanny Fine.
421
00:17:35,183 --> 00:17:37,660
It seems you pulled it off.
422
00:17:37,100 --> 00:17:38,366
Oh, what could possibly go wrong
423
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,200
when you put a father together with his children?
424
00:17:42,383 --> 00:17:44,250
I think I'm gonna be ill.
425
00:17:51,250 --> 00:17:52,400
Maggie!
426
00:17:52,433 --> 00:17:53,433
Daddy!
427
00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:55,100
Mr. Sheffield, I was just--
428
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:57,000
You were just leaving!
429
00:17:57,330 --> 00:17:58,200
Right.
430
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:00,500
Eddie, wait!
431
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:01,660
Maggie?
432
00:18:02,160 --> 00:18:03,160
Maggie, come back here!
433
00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,183
Eddie!
434
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,400
Maggie.
435
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,160
How could you embarrass me like that?
436
00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:10,366
What's going on? That-- that boy
437
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,233
was mauling her on the balcony.
438
00:18:12,266 --> 00:18:13,400
It was just a kiss.
439
00:18:13,433 --> 00:18:15,150
He kissed you?
440
00:18:15,183 --> 00:18:17,830
Yeah. Oh!
441
00:18:19,660 --> 00:18:21,416
Your first kiss. That's so exciting.
442
00:18:21,450 --> 00:18:23,283
Let me get the camera.
443
00:18:25,283 --> 00:18:27,116
Miss Fine, this is not exciting.
444
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,350
It's appalling. She's just a child.
445
00:18:29,383 --> 00:18:31,350
I am not! She's not, you know.
446
00:18:31,383 --> 00:18:33,400
I think I'm starting to feel better.
447
00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,150
Dad, I'm 14 years old.
448
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,233
You know, when I was 14--
449
00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,250
Oh, maybe this isn't the right time.
450
00:18:42,100 --> 00:18:44,300
Maggie, go to bed, and take that makeup off.
451
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,116
Oh...
452
00:18:47,150 --> 00:18:49,330
You! Me?
453
00:18:49,660 --> 00:18:51,100
Yes, you. This wouldn't have happened without you.
454
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:53,316
Yes, definitely feeling better.
455
00:18:53,350 --> 00:18:55,160
What the hell did I do?
456
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:57,330
What did you do? You took an innocent schoolgirl,
457
00:18:57,660 --> 00:18:59,000
you dolled her up, and turned her into--
458
00:18:59,330 --> 00:19:00,830
A young woman.
459
00:19:00,116 --> 00:19:01,466
She's just a little girl.
460
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,330
Get outta here. She's a woman, I'm telling you
461
00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:06,183
and unless you're gonna dip her in bronze and stick her
462
00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:09,000
on the shelf with the rest of your collectibles,
463
00:19:09,330 --> 00:19:10,183
she is going to grow up,
464
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:12,216
and somebody's gotta help her.
465
00:19:12,250 --> 00:19:14,000
Oh, you are way out of line.
466
00:19:14,330 --> 00:19:15,183
She's not your child.
467
00:19:15,216 --> 00:19:16,366
That's right, she's not.
468
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,450
If she were, she wouldn't be upstairs crying right now
469
00:19:18,483 --> 00:19:20,216
on what should be a very memorable
470
00:19:20,250 --> 00:19:21,416
and exciting evening.
471
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:23,483
Thank you for your candor and concern.
472
00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:25,483
You're welcome! You're fired.
473
00:19:27,330 --> 00:19:28,383
Fired?
474
00:19:28,416 --> 00:19:30,250
After all that I've done for you,
475
00:19:30,283 --> 00:19:32,100
this is the thanks that I get?
476
00:19:33,150 --> 00:19:35,433
You can't fire me, Maxwell Sheffield.
477
00:19:35,466 --> 00:19:37,183
I quit!
478
00:19:39,416 --> 00:19:41,660
No. You fired me.
479
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,150
That way, I can collect unemployment.
480
00:19:48,166 --> 00:19:49,466
[KNOCKING]
481
00:19:50,383 --> 00:19:53,183
I drove Ms. Babcock home and called Betty Ford.
482
00:19:53,216 --> 00:19:55,000
They'll pick her up in the morning.
483
00:19:57,660 --> 00:19:58,200
Thank you, Niles.
484
00:19:58,233 --> 00:20:00,500
I noticed you didn't get a chance to eat, sir.
485
00:20:00,830 --> 00:20:01,466
I thought you might be a bit peckish.
486
00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:05,316
I overreacted, didn't I?
487
00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:07,350
Like Reagan in Grenada.
488
00:20:11,183 --> 00:20:12,416
It's just that...
489
00:20:12,450 --> 00:20:15,166
Maggie looked so like her mother.
490
00:20:16,116 --> 00:20:18,000
I've already lost Sarah. I--
491
00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,000
I didn't want to lose my little girl.
492
00:20:21,330 --> 00:20:22,416
I quite understand, sir.
493
00:20:28,660 --> 00:20:29,200
What is this?
494
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:32,200
I believe Miss Fine calls it "a light nosh."
495
00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,266
It's delicious.
496
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,316
Miss Fine, eh?
497
00:20:36,350 --> 00:20:37,366
Yes, sir.
498
00:20:39,830 --> 00:20:40,300
Just what you needed.
499
00:20:44,250 --> 00:20:47,133
Niles, you're not talking about the sandwich, are you?
500
00:20:48,283 --> 00:20:50,183
No, sir...
501
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:51,433
not the sandwich.
502
00:20:54,150 --> 00:20:55,183
[CHUCKLES]
503
00:20:55,216 --> 00:20:57,500
Fran, you need a Mallomar?
504
00:20:57,830 --> 00:21:00,266
Oh, no, Ma. Food's not the answer to everything.
505
00:21:00,300 --> 00:21:02,483
Meanwhile, your father and I have based
506
00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:05,333
our entire relationship around food.
507
00:21:05,366 --> 00:21:08,160
Passion goes. Sex goes.
508
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,660
Communication, we never had...
509
00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:13,830
but food is forever.
510
00:21:13,116 --> 00:21:14,250
Okay.
511
00:21:15,466 --> 00:21:17,283
Morty!
512
00:21:17,316 --> 00:21:19,400
You want another Mallomar?
513
00:21:21,316 --> 00:21:22,350
Morty!
514
00:21:22,383 --> 00:21:24,116
Ma, Daddy can't hear you.
515
00:21:24,150 --> 00:21:26,660
He's watching the game.
516
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,366
Why can't I find a guy like him,
517
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,160
deaf and on a pension.
518
00:21:32,316 --> 00:21:33,483
You will.
519
00:21:34,450 --> 00:21:37,166
[DOORBELL BUZZES] I'll get it. I'll get it.
520
00:21:40,830 --> 00:21:41,400
Oh, God. Ma.
521
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:43,100
Mr. Sheffield.
522
00:21:43,133 --> 00:21:45,160
I'm sorry to disturb you, Miss Fine.
523
00:21:45,500 --> 00:21:47,416
I just wanted to drop off the rest of your things.
524
00:21:47,450 --> 00:21:50,216
You could never disturb anyone, darling.
525
00:21:51,350 --> 00:21:53,433
I'm Fran's mother, Sylvia.
526
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,330
Maxwell Sheffield.
527
00:21:56,660 --> 00:21:58,166
Come on in. I'll make you some Ovaltine.
528
00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:00,400
Oh, well, I'm sure I'd love some,
529
00:22:00,433 --> 00:22:02,183
but I really can't stay.
530
00:22:02,216 --> 00:22:04,133
There's a mob surrounding the limousine.
531
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:05,483
Oh, I'll take care of that.
532
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,333
Wait a minute here.
533
00:22:07,366 --> 00:22:10,166
Get away from that limo! Nobody died.
534
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:11,466
There's no vacancies.
535
00:22:12,433 --> 00:22:14,200
It's dog-eat-dog
536
00:22:14,233 --> 00:22:17,500
when you got a two-bedroom that's rent control.
537
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:18,133
Have a seat.
538
00:22:18,166 --> 00:22:20,000
Here, wait a minute.
539
00:22:21,166 --> 00:22:23,233
Put on some blush.
540
00:22:23,266 --> 00:22:25,433
Ma, can we have a little privacy?
541
00:22:25,466 --> 00:22:27,350
All right. I can take a hint.
542
00:22:27,383 --> 00:22:30,366
Mr. Sheffield,enchantée.
543
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:37,400
You have plastic on your furniture.
544
00:22:38,316 --> 00:22:40,383
Yeah. They're preserving it for the afterlife.
545
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:44,400
How's Maggie?
546
00:22:44,433 --> 00:22:46,166
Well, she isn't speaking to me,
547
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:48,383
but Brighton tells me she's fine.
548
00:22:48,416 --> 00:22:50,366
Brighton? Yes.
549
00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,233
He's been surprisingly attentive to her.
550
00:22:53,266 --> 00:22:55,160
Wouldn't tell me why.
551
00:22:55,500 --> 00:22:56,266
Kept saying something about me getting old
552
00:22:56,300 --> 00:22:58,100
and where I'd live.
553
00:23:00,433 --> 00:23:02,233
Kids. Hmm.
554
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,200
I'm sorry things didn't work out.
555
00:23:08,333 --> 00:23:10,233
Oh, look, I mean, uh...
556
00:23:10,266 --> 00:23:12,466
you and I, we come from very different worlds.
557
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:16,233
I mean, if I were you, and I hired me...
558
00:23:17,133 --> 00:23:19,160
I'd be thrilled. Who's kidding who?
559
00:23:21,660 --> 00:23:22,300
Yes, but you're not me.
560
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:25,400
As a matter of fact, you're not like anyone else I've ever met...
561
00:23:25,433 --> 00:23:28,216
which is not altogether a bad thing...
562
00:23:29,216 --> 00:23:30,433
necessarily.
563
00:23:31,316 --> 00:23:35,100
Perhaps if we tried to respect each other's differences,
564
00:23:36,250 --> 00:23:38,266
we could give it another go?
565
00:23:38,300 --> 00:23:40,250
Are you asking me to come back?
566
00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:43,183
So it seems.
567
00:23:44,300 --> 00:23:46,330
So, what you're really saying is
568
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:49,660
you feel terrible about this whole damn thing,
569
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:51,133
and if you could, you'd get down on your hands and knees
570
00:23:51,166 --> 00:23:52,283
and apologize.
571
00:23:52,316 --> 00:23:54,400
Miss Fine-- Apology accepted!
572
00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,200
Ma, pack my things. He wants me back!
573
00:23:57,233 --> 00:23:58,350
Smile!
574
00:24:09,333 --> 00:24:12,350
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