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[fanfare]

[upbeat intro music]

[choir] ♪ Big job ♪

♪ Big job ♪

♪ Big job ♪

[male voice] London, 1950.

The crime wave was at its height.

Armed robbery, housebreaking, smash-and-grab raids.

The police were powerless,

overwhelmed by the new gangs that seem to spring up every day.

One of the gangs was led by a certain George Brain,

known to himself as "The Great Brain."

Right, we'll go over the setup once more.

[Brain] There's the bank. There's the High Street.

Now remember, those doors are shut at three o'clock prompt,

so everything depends on split-second timing.

You've only got to do what you've been told, and this will be a piece of cake.

Right, now, we'll make dead sure you know what you are doing. Booky.

I take up my position here at seven minutes to three.

When you arrive, I cut the telephone wires to the bank.

Right. Then you follow me straight in.

And while I'm attending to the cashier,

you get ready to blow the strong-room door.

-Right. -Dipper.

I park the getaway car across the street at six minutes to three here…

and when you arrive, I dump the burglar alarm bell on the wall there.

Right. Myrtle.

At four minutes to three exactly, I drop you outside the bank, Georgie.

Right. Then you come straight back here and wait for us.

That's it, then.

Now remember. No slip-ups. No mistakes.

Good luck!

Tomorrow…

that's the day.

This is the big job!

[sneaky jazz music]

[lighthearted jazzy music]

[soft jazzy music]

Hold that.

[sneaky music crescendos, then cuts off quickly]

[sneaky music continues]

[glass shatters]

-Hey you! -Hm?

What do you think you are doing?

-You've broken our window. -Yes, I know.

-[manager] Clumsy oaf. -Yes, I'm sorry, sir.

[manager] That's no excuse.

No, I'm sorry, sir. But I will pay for the window, sir.

[laughs gleefully]

[soft sneaky music]

[sneaky music crescendos]

Leave it! Leave it! Get the strong-room door open!

[soft sneaky music]

[laughs heartily]

[creaking]

[Brain] Look out!

What's going on in there?

[manager] What was that bang?

-[manager] Wilson, let me in! -We had it!

-[manager] Open this door! -We had it open!

You stupid! Get out! Get out, go on!

[manager] Wilson, open this door!

[manager] Will you let me in?

Get the money!

[manager] Fetch the police, will you?

Oh, never mind. I'll get them myself.

[tense music]

Right, get your gear on.

George, George, the police are coming!

-Right. -Yes, let's go.

Sir.

[tense music]

[comedic music]

What the blazes do you think you're doing?

I was trying to warn you, George. They've gone for the police.

All right. Don't panic.

Just, just… get over to the car and try and act natural.

[lighthearted music]

[Brain] Don't just stand there! Come on, I'm stuck!

Come on! Pull, pull, pull!

[frantic instrumental music]

[ominous music]

Drive slow, you twit!

When did you ever see one of these things going fast?

Oh, yes. Sorry, George. I forgot.

Here, George, hadn't we better hide that somewhere?

Yes, we'd better!

[sneaky jazz music]

Where did you get this hearse from?

It was outside a mortuary. Why?

There's someone in it.

Well, don't worry, George. He won't talk.

They went that way, in a hearse!

[director] Ah, here they are, at last.

Don't look now, but I think we're being followed.

Who are they?

How do I know who they are? They're probably friends of his.

Well, can't we get away from them? They gave me the blooming creeps.

We don't want to get away from them.

They’re making it look like a proper funeral now.

Maybe, but we can't go on like this for long.

Sooner or later, they're gonna want to stop somewhere and…

you know… him.

-Listen! The cops! -[police bell ringing]

-Are they onto us? -I don't know yet.

Just keep going slow, take the first turning and we'll soon find out.

[sneaky jazz music]

[police bell ringing]

They are onto us! Step on it!

[lively jazz music]

[police bell ringing]

Step up! Come on now! Let's gas! Go on, move!

Come on! They're gaining on us!

How many times are you gonna go round?

Get on to a straight piece of road!

-Good boy, you've lost them! -Ah!

We may have lost that one, but there's another in front of us!

What?

You big dope! It's the same one! Stop!

[brakes screeching]

Run for it! Scarper!

[lively chase music]

[police whistle blowing]

[police whistle blowing]

[police whistle blowing]

[lively jazz music]

[police whistle blowing]

[lively jazz music]

All right, come on. Get your hands off me. Get out! Out!

Since you persist in your refusal to tell the court

where you have concealed the proceeds of this dastardly robbery,

I have no alternative

but to pass the maximum permissible sentence.

You will all serve 15 years hard labor.

[wailing]

Fifteen years! You're joking! I won't do it!

Nor me!

I'll have us out in a week!

The lock that can hold me hasn't been invented yet!

I'll have us out there within a week, you hear! One week! One week!

[soft bright music]

[sighs]

[sighs]

Well, that's the longest week I ever spent.

Well, it wasn't my fault.

I'd have had us out of there easy if they hadn't taken all my tools away.

You know I can pick any lock.

You couldn't pick a hollow tooth.

Ah! Free, free at last!

-George! Oh, George! -It's Myrt!

I told you she'd be here to meet you, George.

George!

George, George!

Wait! Wait! That's enough! All right. That's enough!

Oh, George!

-Get off! Get off! -Oh, it has been such a long time, George!

You don't have to tell me that!

George, did you get the file I sent you in the cake?

Did you miss me, George? Oh, did you miss me?

Yes, sweetheart, I missed you. Yes, I did.

-Now, come on, we gotta get to work! -To work?

You're not… You're not going straight?

Of course I'm not going straight!

Cor blimey, she's always ready to think the worst of me.

No, he means we've got to go and collect the money out that tree.

-Yeah, that's right. -Yeah.

Right away?

-Certainly, right away. -But George, I thought…

Well, I thought you and me could have a bit of fun.

You know, make up for lost time.

Myrt! You know what we always said. The big job comes first!

Nothing must stand in its way. Nothing!

But you've been saying ever since I met you.

I've got enough stuff in my bottom drawer to hold a jumble sale.

What a great idea!

My lovely, what a great idea! We could do with the cash, couldn't we?

We got to get some new clobber, somewhere to kip tonight.

Well… George, I…

I've been getting a little flat ready, you know… for us.

What a lovely girl she is, eh?

What a lovely girl you are! Lead us to it.

Well…

Actually, I meant just for… you and me!

You don't think that I would desert my mates, do you?

-Oh, George! -Lead on!

Oh!

[lighthearted music]

And where's the tree?

Across that hill there, down across that road

and 200 yards along that footpath there. "Lovers Walk."

Fair enough. But how are we gonna get the money out of it unnoticed?

I wonder why they call them "Lovers Walks"?

George and me never did much walking.

What do you expect them to be called then? Lovers Sit Downs?

Oh, you know what I mean.

Night's the best time to do it, when nobody's watching.

You don't have to tell her that.

No, I mean it's the best time to get the money out of the tree.

You don't want to worry about that. It's wide open country here.

There wasn't a house for miles.

Well, what are we waiting for then?

-Let's go. -Oh George.

You don't mean you're going yet!

That's right, darling.

You are gonna go out, and you are gonna find a car

and we're gonna go for a nice little ride in the country.

But George!

Take this, you might need it.

I thought we was gonna have a little celebration.

That's my girl.

[soft bright music]

Where did you knock the car off, Myrt?

I didn't knock it off. I hired it.

You shouldn't have done that.

Oh, it's all right, love. I gave them a dud check.

[laughs] Now that's my girl.

Look, there's the bank!

[Booker] Hasn't changed much, has it?

[Dipper] Oh, I don't know. They've mended that window.

It's lovely to go back to places you've had fun in, isn't it?

Yeah, isn't it? Here, you know what would be a nice thing to do?

What?

When we get that money, we'll bank it there.

[soft whimsical music]

Ah! This is where we stopped.

This is it! Just over that hill!

Fifty thousand quid!

It was worth the stretch, every year of it!

Come on then!

George…

[groaning]

[Brain] What's happened? That wasn't there before!

Are you sure we've come to the right place, George?

Of course it's the right place! It was all country down there!

Well, where's "Lovers Walk"? And the tree?

-What's the matter? -Look at that!

Oh, a new town! How lovely!

-Lovely? -Look at all them pretty little houses.

Just suit us, Georgie, one of them.

Myrtle, one of them pretty little houses

has been built right over my pretty little flipping tree!

Yes, but… what do they want to build a new town here for?

It's the housing shortage. I was reading about it inside.

In the last ten years, the population in the cities has increased by--

If I hear one more word about what you've read inside,

I'll fill your cakehole with that!

Well, don't take it out on me, George. I didn't build the town!

Georgie, just 'cause they built all them houses,

it doesn't mean they've cut down all the trees.

That's right, George. Look, there's one sticking up out of the roofs over there.

Look, is that it, George?

It could be! It could be!

It's in the right place! Get in the car! Quick!

[Brain] Come on!

[lively instrumental music]

Look! There's "Lovers Walk"!

Blimey, it's down there, Myrt!

There's a tree! Down the bottom!

Is it ours?

I don't know, but let's have a look. Come here. Get down there.

-Don't just stand there. Help me up! -Up, up, up, up, up!

It is! Ha-ha! It's my tree!

Oh, George! George, are you all right?

Yes, yes, I'm fine.

Luckily, me face broke me fall.

Oh, you want to be careful, dear. You don't want to spoil your looks.

What more could you do to that face?

[Booky chuckling]

-Well, shall we go? -Go? Go where?

In there, to get the money. You said it was your tree, didn't you?

And how do you propose we get in, genius?

Oh, don't be silly, George.

Show me the house I can't get into when I want to.

Blimey, hark at him! Son of The Saint.

Do you want to have us put away again for breaking and entering?

Well, we've to get in there somehow, George.

I know that!

But we got to get in legitimate,

like we've come to read the gas meter or something.

-They don't have gas meters in trees! -I said something like that!

What about me being a bloke from an insurance agency?

What has that got to do with trees?

You could say you were a branch manager.

[cackling]

[laughing]

Hysterical. Would you mind shutting up and letting me think of something?

Suppose you said you were coppers investigating a robbery,

and you thought the money was hidden in that tree?

Myrtle, would you mind keeping quiet and let me think?

Sorry, George.

I tell you what we'll do.

We say we're coppers investigating a robbery.

That's brilliant, George, and we think they've hidden the money in the tree.

Shut up! And we think they've hidden the money in the tree.

That's a good idea.

I told you I'd think of something, didn't I?

You stay with Myrtle. You come with me.

He's a genius. He's a genius!

[soft whimsical music]

[Brain] Blimey, look!

Let's get out of here!

Anything been happening, then?

Well, you must be joking.

I’ve never known a town with so many honest people in it.

It's blooming disgusting, it is.

I mean, I joined the police for a bit of action.

But look what I've had since I've been here:

one drunk, an incapable, a lost cat and a Peeping Tom.

And the Peeping Tom turned out to be the drunk looking for his pussycat.

You don't know when you're well off, my son.

Now where did I put those concert parts?

I must get that baritone part right before rehearsal tonight.

Well, it's just not good enough, Sergeant.

You know, I was on the phone to Wincham just now,

and they've got bags of excitement.

-Like Z Cars it is over there. -Oh, yeah? Ah! Here it is!

Seems they had a big bank robbery over there some 15 years ago.

-Fifty thousand, never recovered. -[vocalizing]

And the gang that did the job, they were released this morning.

They put a plain clothes man on to follow them, but they gave him the slip.

[chuckling]

They would have led them to the money…

They were caught somewhere around here, you know.

That was before the town was built up, of course.

Here, Sergeant,

I wouldn't be at all surprised

if that money wasn't hidden somewhere around here.

By gum, that's it!

Well, do you think so, Sergeant?

Of course. They shouldn't be going boom, boom, boom!

They should be going boom, boom, boom.

-You get the difference? -Yes, sir.

[dog barking]

Would you believe it? Would you believe it?

Right in middle of the backyard of a flipping chokey!

The one place we can't legitimately go into.

I don't see why not. We haven't done anything wrong.

It's our money. I mean, we stole it, didn't we?

Oh, you're right.

You're absolutely right.

I mean, all you got to do is go in there and say, "Excuse me, Sarge,

but 15 years ago, we happened to have left 50,000 nicker in your tree.

Can we have it back, please?"

Hey, it's a marvelous idea, George! Do you think it'll work?

Certainly, it will work.

They'll probably give you the 15 years interest on it as well.

-Right, here goes. -Come back here!

Can't you get it into your thick bonce they want that money back?

And they'll be on the lookout for us?

-But George, you just said-- -George is right, Dipper.

Why don't you forget it, Georgie? After all, money isn't everything.

I'll think of a way. Something will turn up, you'll see.

What did I tell you? Look at that!

What?

[Brain] There! Look at that house, in the window. "Rooms to let."

And it's right opposite the copper factory.

Myrt, go and get four rooms from tonight on.

Four, Georgie?

Well, naturally. This is a respectable neighborhood.

There's a pub around the corner. Meet us there.

[soft whimsical music]

[doorbell rings]

-Yes? -I believe you have some rooms to let.

I don't. Mother does. But she's out.

Oh. Perhaps I could speak to your father?

Oh, only if you're psychic. He's dead. That's why she has to let rooms.

-Sordid, isn't it? -Yes. Well, I…

I was looking for accommodation for myself and three gentlemen.

Oh.

Well, there are only two doubles going. You'll have to share.

Oh, I don't…

Oh, I don't know, I think… perhaps we could manage with two doubles.

Yes, well, you could sort all that out with Mum. She'll be back about six.

Thank you.

You're welcome. I'll tell her.

I still don't see how it's gonna help us even if she does get some rooms, George.

Well, we'll be able to keep an eye on things from there.

And when the right moment comes, we're right on the spot.

Hey, that's a thought.

We've got to hand it to old George, haven't you, Booky?

Well, I keep telling you, I don’t know what you'd do without me.

One thing's sure, we wouldn't be sitting here

planning to break into a police station.

Hello, Myrt!

-Well? -Oh, she's…

She's only got two double rooms, George.

[chuckling gleefully]

It's my lucky day. I can feel it. Come on, then.

-There's only one thing… -Yes?

-I had to tell her we were married. -Well, that doesn't mat--

-You had to what? -I had to tell her we were married.

Well, she's a widow, you see, and very respectable and… well, she asked.

Well, yes, but we're… we're not married, are we?

Oh, but we could be!

And… well, seeing as there's two double rooms, we'd have to be, wouldn't we?

[chuckling]

Looks like she's got you this time, George.

Shut up!

Look, Myrtle, I mean we can't just go get hitched just like that.

Oh, we can! I've made enquiries.

There's a registry office near here, and it's open till six

and it's only, uh, half past five now.

But Myrt, be reasonable, I mean,

getting spliced isn't as easy as all that.

We haven't even got a ring.

Oh, don't worry, George. I'll find you one.

Sit down!

I'm not staying there in sin, and that's flat.

Have I ever asked you to stay anywhere in sin? Flat or otherwise?

Myrt's right, you know, George.

We've too much at stake to take any chances.

The least you can do is put up a respectable front.

If you don't belt up,

you'll get my respectable boot up your disrespectful…

-[ka-ching] -[whisper] Backside.

Well, think of all the money that's waiting for us, George.

I don't care about that! I'm the romantic type.

And if I'm going to get clobbered, mate, for life, it'll be when I say.

Right!

Well, I'll go and tell her we don't want the rooms because… [sniffs]

my husband won't marry me!

George, remember what you said,

"The job comes first. Nothing must stand in its way."

Nothing! You call this nothing?

I won't do it, mate. Never! Never!

Do you, Myrtle Robbins,

take George Brain to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Oh yes, I do!

And you, George Brain,

take Myrtle Robbins to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Yes, I suppose so.

-I do. -I said I did, didn't I?

Oh, George!

I hereby pronounce you man and wife.

Oh, George!

Yeah, all right, all right!

You haven't heard the last of this. I shall appeal!

[upbeat jazz music]

Right.

Ah!

Would you mind?

[doorbell rings]

Oh, it's you. Come in.

Take your hat off.

Mother's not back yet. But I can show you the rooms.

Is that the respectable widow you were telling me about?

Oh, don't be silly, Georgie. That's her daughter.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

Well, aren't you coming?

Oh, yes, rather.

[loud thud]

Get up. What's the matter with you?

Haven't you ever seen a good looking girl like that before?

Yes, but not good looking like that behind.

In here.

This is the best one.

The other's at the back.

-Not much of a view. -[Brain] No?

[Brain] Don't you believe it.

That's a sweetest view I ever saw!

Some people are easy to please.

Personally, I think it's dreary.

Here comes Mama. I'll tell her you're here.

Come here, come here! Look at that!

[Booky] Well, I must say it's a perfect observation point.

-It's great, isn't it? -Yeah!

You can see the hole layout.

You can even see right into the chokey.

Georgie, don't you think it was worth it? Getting married, I mean?

Yes, sweetheart, it was.

Here, did you give them your real name last time you came here?

Oh, she never asked me.

Good, 'cause we'll have to use false ones.

False ones?

Oh, what was the point in our getting married?

Now she asks me!

George is right, Myrt. We can't use our own. It's too risky.

Certainly. We'll use those classy ones we had for the Metropole Hotel job that time.

Oh, there you are! How do you do? I'm Mrs. Gamely.

How do you do, Mrs. Gamely? I'm Professor Hook.

-Dr. Line, Mr. Sinker. -How do you do?

Ah, I don't know whether my daughter told you,

but I charge eight guineas a week, full board.

Lunch optional, breakfast sharp at eight, supper at seven.

No pets, children, or musical instruments.

A shilling per a bath.

And all guests to provide their own soap, towels and toilet paper.

Terms in advance.

Of course, Mrs. Gamely. Mr. Sinker, my checkbook, please.

Any particular bank at all, George?

Oh, there's no hurry, professor. This evening will do.

Well, I do hope you're all gonna be very comfortable here.

Oh, I am sure we will.

Afraid we've only got two double rooms, so…

the young lady will have to share with one of you men.

You don't want to worry about that. Those two will have one room.

And me and my wife will have the other.

Oh, you're married?

Oh, I didn't know.

[lighthearted music]

George, I'll… I'll just go and have a look at the other room.

-Myrtle. Myrtle! Myrt! -[chuckling]

What do you think of that?

-What about that for double crossing? -[laughing]

What are you cackling at?

-All that trouble for nothing. -Oh, shut up!

How do you do?

[Mrs. Gamely] Ah. Make yourselves comfortable.

Thank you.

Not there, please, doctor. That's my poor dear husband's place.

Oh, sorry.

-I thought he was dead. -[Sally] He is.

Why don't you come and sit over here next to me, doctor?

Oh, all right.

We single ones must stick together, mustn't we, doctor? [chuckles]

-You are single, aren't you? -Oh, yes, dear lady.

There is only one of me.

Well, I must say, this looks very good scoff, Mrs. G.

Yes, and it's nice not to have to line up for it too.

Well, here we go then.

What brings you to Oldfield, professor? Research of some kind?

Uh, yeah, that's right. We are researchers.

How exciting! What are you interested in?

[Brain] Birds.

Oh, he means the kind that fly, of course.

How interesting! Must be very exciting work, doctor.

Oh, yes, it is.

The study of birds and their habits is quite fascinating, Mrs. Gamely.

I was only reading about it in stir…

[Booky coughs, clears throat]

Sir Benjamin Stir, I mean,

he's the leading author on the subject, you know.

-Oh, yeah? -Oh, yeah.

For instance, uh, did you know that there are some species of birds

that are now practically extinct?

Really?

Now, you take the little bustard.

Now, it seems that 50 years ago,

the south part of England was overrun with little bustards.

Now… you hardly ever see one.

Big bustards, maybe… but not little bustards.

How amazing!

[Dipper] Sugar?

Oh! Um… Can I… Can I get you another one?

No, please don't. I like tea over my food.

Sally! That's enough. You're embarrassing Mr. Sinker.

Do go on with what you were saying, doctor.

Well, I don't know much more about birds…

but there's some very interesting things about fish.

Really? Oh, do tell us.

Oh yes. For instance… There's a fish of the Huss family,

whose habit it is, when hungry, to eat itself,

starting with its tail and working up.

-Gracious me, how amazing! -Yes. It's known as the short huss.

Now this short huss…

Good evening, Mrs. G.

-We've been shopped. -Harold, dear, we're all waiting for you.

Here, I would like you to meet our new guests.

This is, um, Professor and Mrs. Hook.

Mr. Sinker and Dr. Line here.

-How do you do? -[Brain] How do you do?

[chuckling] Harold's a policeman.

Is he? Could have fooled me.

He's been with us nearly a year now, haven't you, dear?

Oh, that's right. It's nice and handy for the station.

[Mrs. Gamely] Doctor?

Did I say something wrong?

Oh no, no. It's just the sight of uniforms. They always upset him.

Oh, poor Dr. Line. Do you know, my dear husband was just the same.

Well, I'm sorry about that.

-And how's my beautiful girl tonight? -I am not your beautiful girl.

I don't seem to be very popular around here.

-You can say that again. -What was that?

I said, "It looks like rain."

Oh yes, well, we get a great deal of that down here this time of year.

And where are you from, Mr. Sinker?

-Me? Oh, Scrubs. -Scrubs?

Uh, Scrubs Bird Society. That's our headquarters.

For jail birds, I suppose.

[laughing]

[laughing heartily]

Oh, it's funny you should mention "The Scrubs" because the boys over at Wincham,

they were telling me they're looking for a gang

that was released from there only this morning.

Get away.

Some bigheaded small-timer who called himself "The Great Brain."

It seems they did a big bank job over there some years ago.

And from what I heard, they made a right old muck up of it.

What do you mean? It was a brilliant job.

-If it hadn't been for those funeral cars. -[loud clank]

Gotta go now. We've got work to do.

-But you haven't finished your supper! -I've had enough, thank you.

[loud thud]

But what about your roly-poly pudding?

She's had enough as well. Come on!

It's enough to give you permanent ulcers!

What? Do you think he suspects something, George?

You and your big mouth!

Well, what have I said?

Oh blimey, what’s the use? Come on, come upstairs!

Oh, by the way, Sal, I won't be able to take you out this evening.

Oh, is that a promise?

No, you see, I'm on the desk again tonight,

and there's a concert rehearsal at half past seven.

That should be fun.

Oh, it is! Sergeant's giving me a solo this time.

♪ When constabulary duties to be done To be done ♪

♪ A policeman's lot is not an happy one ♪

♪ Happy one ♪

Half-eleven. Don't they ever give up?

Oh, stop looking so miserable. That copper didn't suspect a thing.

I'm not worried about that. It's just that I'm… so ashamed.

Ashamed?

Yes.

When I think of sleeping under the same roof as a copper…

eating at the same table,

using the same washbasin, I… I feel downright soiled.

Ah, shut up!

-And what about you then? -What about me then?

Sitting there, conversing with him like he was our social equal!

Don't you talk to me about conversing, mate. You and your little bustard.

And that tasty bit of social small talk about a fish

disappearing up its own cake hole.

Those happen to be scientific facts!

-Get out of it. -Hi, George.

Look at that! Quick!

Take it over by the window. Good boy! Here.

Here.

Put it on there. Here, pick that one up, go on.

Get that. Make it higher. There, behind you.

Now, that is what I call a telescope!

-Where did you get it? -It was in the park on the hill.

Well, we’ll be able to really have a good close look at that yard now.

But what's the matter with it? I can't see a thing.

-Oh, you haven't put the tenner in. -What tenner?

Oh, it doesn't work unless you put a tenner in.

Do you mean to tell me that we got to pay

to look through our own blooming telescope?

Well, it isn't exactly ours, George, is it?

-Give me a tenner. -Right.

-Where does it go? -In there.

Try that.

[Brain] Ah, yeah, there he is, Sir Malcolm Sergeant.

There she is, you little beauty.

-I can see the hole I put the stuff in-- -[telescope clicks]

Is that all I get for a tenner?

Oh, it's all right, George. I've got another one.

At this rate, mate, it's gonna cost us all our money just to keep watching it.

-[in sing-song] George! -Yeah, what?

-Coming to bed now? -Bed, what for?

Oh…

It's getting late.

Don't be daft. I can't go to bed now. I've got work to do.

[telescope clicks]

Look at that. Now you've made me waste a tenner.

I'm sorry. It is our wedding night.

-I know that. But what about it? -Well, you know…

It's usual… when people get married…

Yeah, but it's not a usual marriage, is it? I mean, I was conned into it.

[chuckles] That's nothing new, George. Everyone is.

You keep out of this!

I'm sorry, Myrt. But as far as I'm concerned, it's a marriage of convenience.

Oh.

Well, would it be convenient for you to come to bed now?

No, it wouldn't. Now will you buzz off and leave me alone? Go on. Out.

[sniffs] Oh, oh!

[chuckling]

You shouldn't treat her like that, George. It's not nice.

Well, what are you laughing for, then?

I didn't say it wasn't funny. I said it wasn't nice.

She loves you, George.

I know that! And I love her. So what?

Nothing, except I think you ought to show it.

Women!

[knocks on door]

[sniffs] Who is it?

-Only me. -What do you want?

Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart, what I said just now.

But I got all this money on my mind, you know.

It's all right, Georgie. You're right, anyway. I did trick you into it.

So what? I wouldn't have it any other way.

It's not as though we weren't gonna get married sometime, is it?

I just wanted to speed things up a bit.

Certainly, it's the best way, isn't it?

I mean, getting it over quick like… going to the dentist.

-You're not… angry with me then? -Oh no, of course not.

-Nice room, isn't it? -Not bad, not bad at all.

It's… a lovely comfy bed.

Yes, good egg, smashing. You could have a really good kip in this.

Night, night.

-Where are you going? -Back to the other room.

But… you'll be coming back later?

Oh, yes, of course. But don't worry. I won't wake you.

-[door shuts] -[playful music]

[sobbing softly]

-Hey, Booky… -What is it?

I could've done with one of these when I was in the nick.

-[Dipper] Yeah, oh, yes, lovely. -[telescope clicks]

Oh, not now!

-Come on, let's get cracking. -Just a minute, George.

There, have a look at that.

What do I want to look at that for? Hang on.

A ladder! That's just what we need!

-She's got a dirty, great ladder! -Oh really?

I didn’t go as far down as her legs.

Not that kind of a ladder, you nit! The kind you climb up.

-Oh. Well, what about it? -[telescope clicks]

We're gonna need something to get over the wall, aren't we?

Yes.

Well, can you think of anything better than a ladder?

Hey, that's marvelous, George!

-Do you hear that, Booky? -What?

George has thought of using a ladder to get over the wall.

Amazing.

I don't know what we'd do without that inventive mind of his.

Thank you. Now, go and liberate the ladder.

Oh, all right.

-You're all right, Dorothy? -Yes, Ernest.

Oh, I've forgotten the note for Mother!

Oh, heavens. Look, you get in the car.

-All right. -I'll take that.

[soft sneaky jazz music]

[playful music]

[soft sneaky jazz music]

Dot! Dottie!

-Did you get it? -Yes, in the front garden.

Good! Come in. This is what we do.

As soon as they stop flogging their tonsils over there, we move in.

There'll only be the night man on duty, and he's bound to fall asleep.

Shh! Listen!

What?

-Do you hear it? -No.

Neither can I.

Well, this is a bright conversation, I must say.

We're talking about the singing, you twit. It stopped.

-They've gone. Tenner! -Ah, here it is.

The flipping thing's gonna break us.

I told you. It's only the night man on there.

Let's go. That's it.

-What, now? -Now. Shoes off.

But supposing the night man sees us.

He won't recognize us. Here. Put these stockings on.

Hey, George.

-[grunts] -[gasps]

Can I have the other one, George?

Not on your leg, you nit! Over your head like this.

Hm? [screams]

-Ernest, where are you? -I'm up here.

What're you doing up there?

I can't get down. Someone took the ladder away.

Oh. I wonder what they did that for.

Never mind what they did it for. Get another one!

[sneaky comical music]

Right. We get up on top of there, pull the ladder up after us

then we lower it down on the other side. Right?

-Right. Right. -Right.

Do you mind?

[sneaky comical music]

[dog barking]

Get the ladder up!

Shh! Somebody's coming. Freeze!

Here, somebody's pinched the ladder.

It's fantastic, isn't it? You can't trust anybody.

What are we gonna do now, George?

Don't panic, don't panic. I'll think of something. Hang on.

Here, Booky. Book…

They drive you mad, these things, don't they?

-Yeah. -I tell you what.

-You're the lightest. -Yeah.

We lower you down, and you go and get the loot.

All right.

Hang on, hang on, wait a minute… Right!

[grunts]

-[shouting] -Shut up!

[soft whimsical music]

Somebody out there?

Now look what you've done!

Who's there?

[Booky] For Pete's sake, get me out of here!

[Harold] Here, what do you think you're doing?

[suspenseful music]

[Booky groaning]

[suspenseful music]

[dog barking]

[soft sneaky music]

George, George, George, wake up. George, George.

Ah, cut it out.

No, there's something happening. George, over there.

-What? What? -Someone's looking at the tree!

Cor blimey!

-Give me a tenner, quick. -There we are.

Oh…

[Brain] Cor blimey!

He's got his hand in the hole!

-Has he got the money, George? -No, but he's got his… He's got…

[telescope clicks]

-Oh, this flipping thing! -Oh, yeah.

They're going now. There, they've gone.

[sighs]

I don't like that. I don't like that at all!

[knocks on door]

-See who that is. -Right.

It's all right. It's only Myrtle.

-Are you all right, Georgie? -Yes, yes, I'm all right.

Only you didn't come to bed. I was worried.

If that's all you've got to worry about, you're lucky.

I see.

Well, I don't know if you know, but the breakfast gong's gone.

I didn't take it, George, honest.

I mean, it's rung. Are you coming down?

I can't eat with all this in my mind!

Oh, you should. They'll think it's funny if you don't.

You're dead right, Myrt. We'll have to act like nothing happened last night.

[sniffs] Nothing did.

Come on, Dipper.

Well, supposing that copper's down there.

-All the more reason. Come on. -All right, well, I'll just take a wash.

-Come on, Booky. Come on. Get up. -[Booky] Well…

Breakfast!

-What's going on? -Breakfast!

Oh, I'm not going down to breakfast.

You got to! They'll notice it if you don't.

They'll notice if I do. I haven't got any trousers!

[humming]

-Morning, Mrs. G. -Morning.

-Morning. -Morning.

You'll never guess what happened last night, Mrs. G.

Oh, what was that, Harold?

Someone actually tried to break into the station.

Oh, surely not, Harold. You must have imagined it.

That's just what the sergeant said this morning.

But I shook him because I got his trousers off.

But won't you get into trouble taking the sergeant's trousers off?

No, not the sergeant's, Mrs. G, the fellow who was trying to break in.

I got them as he was climbing back over the wall.

Well, that's ridiculous, isn't it?

I mean, what nit would want to climb into a police station?

Well, don't ask me.

-Unless… -Unless what?

They might have been after our song parts.

Because the local Choral Society is very jealous about our lot, you know.

Because we're better, see.

[chuckles] Well, the other mob must be pretty diabolical.

I mean, to be so jealous, you know.

You're telling me!

And besides, that's not the only thing that went on last night.

Some very, very rum things were going on up the road at number 18.

The Franklins?

Hm. Might have guessed… [chuckles]

What happened?

Well, it appears that halfway through the night, they heard a very funny noise.

They got up to investigate,

and they found their daughter in the front garden with a ladder,

trying to get a strange fellow out of her bedroom window!

Really?

You try and work that one out. It beats me.

Oh, you're a bit late, Mr. Sinker.

Yes, I'm sorry, Mrs. Gamely.

I went in the bathroom for a washing and got chatting with your daughter.

Well, don't tell me Sal's up on her feet at this early hour.

Oh, no! [chuckles] She was in the bath.

Uh… Where's Dr. Line?

Oh, he's still in bed.

He had a bad night, one way and another.

Oh, poor doctor. I know, I'll take him up a nice tray.

He's honored.

I never knew her to do that for anyone else before.

Oh! By the way, dear. I didn't tell you.

I thought I saw a little bustard this morning.

-Are you all right, Georgie? -Yes!

I thought I saw it in that big old oak tree across the road there.

What, the one in the station yard?

Oh, is that the police station, then?

Well, I sincerely hope your little bustard's not nesting in that tree.

Why not?

They're gonna start cutting it down next week.

George!

Oh, you must excuse my husband. He's very fond of… trees.

What do they want to cut it down for?

-They say it's got something in it. -But there's nothing in it!

I swear to you. Tell them it's empty!

Well, I can't argue with them, professor.

I mean, they're supposed to be the experts.

And if they say that it's got a canker in it, that's it.

A what in it?

-A canker. -Oh!

Well, that's different, isn't it?

[knocks on door]

Who is it?

It's me, doctor. I've brought you some breakfast.

Oh, just a minute, Mrs. Gamely.

[suspenseful music]

[Booky] All right, Mrs. Gamely, all decent.

Here we are then.

Oh, it's very nice of you, Mrs. Gamely. Very nice indeed.

Oh, not at all.

When a man has to stay in bed, that's the time

he really needs a woman, I always think.

Oh, I always think that too. [chuckles]

I always did it with my late husband, you know.

I'm glad to hear it.

Breakfast in bed all during his last long illness. Well now, sit yourself up.

-There we are. -Hah.

Well, now, doctor, I want to see you eat all this up.

-I can see you need looking after. -Thank you.

Yes. You know, it's two years now

since my dear husband started his last great journey.

Really?

Well, I expect he's got there by now. [chuckles]

You've never been married, have you, doctor?

No, no, I'm afraid not.

I'm happy to say.

Oh, you mustn't give up hope.

You know, you're still a very interesting and attractive man.

I have a feeling we're going to be… very close friends.

Not too close, I hope, Mrs. Gamely.

I'd like you to call me Mildred.

Mildred.

That's much better.

Oh, excuse me. Am I interrupting something?

Oh no, no. I was just going, professor. I'll pop in and see you later.

What a lucky boy!

Here, cop hold of this. I'm getting out of here.

What are you worried about?

What's the matter? She fancies you, that's all.

Yeah, like an old crow fancies worms.

If you hadn't had come in, I'd have had it.

Yes, well, never mind about that.

You just be nice to her because we might need her.

-You know what I just heard? -No, what?

They're starting to chop that tree down next week.

-What? -There's a canker in it or something.

Booky, I have something for you, catch.

Hey, trousers! Where did you find them?

Oh, in the cupboard on the landing. All right?

Here, I can't wear these. There's no turn-ups.

What are you all of a sudden? Britain's best dressed jail bird?

Shove them on! Go on!

-You go and get Myrtle. Go on! -All right.

Let's get out of here. We've got some heavy thinking to do.

Here, give us the coat.

Yeah, you can button them up after. Come on. Mind you don't fall out.

[sneaky comical music]

Oh, doctor! Are you feeling better?

Yes, thank you, Mrs… Mildred.

Yes, we thought a bit of fresh air would do him good.

Oh, it's certainly a lovely day. I think I'll come with you.

Oh, I shouldn't bother, Mildred.

Oh, nonsense. It's a pleasure. I'll just get my things.

[Harold] Mrs. Gamely!

-Yes, Harold. -Could you come up for a minute?

Oh dear, dearest me, what is it?

I can't find me best uniform trousers. They were in the landing cupboard.

[frantic music]

Oh blimey. Come on, one of you. It should be simple enough.

Here's us, here's the wall and here's the tree.

Now all we have got to do is get us from here… to there.

-Well, there's only one thing for it. -Yeah, what?

That.

How many times do I have to tell you, we are not gonna dynamite the wall!

It's a police station. They get funny about that sort of thing.

-I wasn't thinking of dynamiting it. -No, what then?

Well, I was reading somewhere how they knock things down in India.

There are these elephants, see, and they flatten absolutely anything.

-I wish they'd flatten you. -Can you think of a better idea?

No, no, but I can hardly think of a worse one.

Personally, I don't think you've got an idea in your head.

You're just a line shooter.

-Line shooter? -Yes. At shooting a line, you're one of--

Shooting a line!

That's it! Booky, I love you!

Oh, shut up!

There you are, mate. That is what I call shooting a line.

It will never work.

Will you stop saying that!

Well, it won't!

It will, Booky. This thing will hit a whale at 500 yards every time.

Listen to Moby Dick. It's crazy, I tell you.

Well, we'll soon find out.

Nearly twelve. Which one of you is going?

Not me. You're not going fire me on the end of that thing.

We don't fire you. We fire the rope.

Then you slide down on this thing. There's nothing to it.

Well, why don't you go then?

Because somebody with sense has got to stay up here and do the difficult part,

pulling you up again afterwards.

George is right, you know. It could be a tricky job. I'll go, George.

That's a good boy!

[knocks on door]

-Who is it? -It's me, Myrtle.

-What's the matter? -Nothing's the matter, George.

But I wondered if you were coming to bed?

Bed? Blimey, I thought it was something important.

It is important!

It's not every day you get married.

But we didn't get married today. We got married yesterday.

No, and it might as well have been tomorrow for all the difference it's made.

Myrtle, this is the big job, and the big job comes first. You know that!

Here! What's that?

Well, don't say it like that.

Anybody'd think you’d never seen a harpoon gun before.

Well, funnily enough, I haven't.

It's a little thing they use for catching whales.

Oh, I’ve never been fishing for whales. Where do you put the worm?

Oh the… Oh, never mind about the worm. Come on.

Buzz off to bed. We've got a lot of things to do. Come on.

Are you coming later, George?

Let's get the money first.

Then we'll have plenty of time for all that kind of nonsense.

Nonsense?

Well, if that's nonsense, I don’t know what fishing out of bedroom windows

in the middle of the night for whales is.

Get out. Goodbye.

Right, let's get cracking. Open the curtains.

Can I fire it, George?

No, you can't. This sort of thing needs expert handling.

Of course, you've had such a lot of experience at it, haven't you?

Who won the Scrubs darts cup four years running?

You did.

Well, shut up then and let me get on with it.

Here we go.

[whoosh]

Double top, George!

Look at that! I told you it would work, didn't I?

Excellent.

-There's just one thing, though. -Yeah, what?

Shouldn't someone have kept hold of this end of the rope?

Well, why didn't you tell me before?

Who am I to tell an expert handler what to do?

Why, blimey, I can't think of everything, can I?

All right, we'll do it again. And this time, we'll get it right.

Hang on to that. There!

Now then. Hang on to that end of the rope.

All right.

Nice work, George! You've done it again!

Certainly, I have. Here, tug on that rope. See if it's got a firm hold.

Seems to be holding.

Of course it's holding.

I'm telling you, that money is as good as in our pockets.

Here. Hang on. Push it through there.

-Right. -That's it. Now you hold that thing.

-Right. -[Brain] Right.

Fine. Take that.

Now take it and tie it down to the end of the bed there. Pull hard,

hard as you can.

All right. Come on. You give me a hand to get this back there.

All right, watch it! Here.

Here you are, Booky, see that? Perfect!

-Come on, then. Off you go! -[Dipper] All right.

Hey, I think I'm gonna enjoy this, George.

Right. Now, as soon as you get the money,

give a couple of jerks on the other rope and we'll pull you back. All right?

Right! Here I go!

[whimsical music]

[snoring]

-Booky. Booky! Hey, Booky! -What? What? What is it?

The copper, he's found the harpoons and the ropes.

-Well, that's it. I'm getting out of here. -Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, what are we panicking for?

We chucked the ropes over in their yard, didn't we?

See? How can they possibly connect them with us?

[singing]

There, take a look at that.

Hm. It's a harpoon, all right.

Hm. Been fired fairly recently too, I'd say.

Well, that's what I've been trying to tell you.

I mean, they weren't there last night.

-Uh, what are we gonna do, Sergeant? -Well, there's only one thing to do.

Bung a label on them saying

where and when they were found and stick them in the Lost Property.

-Is that all? -Well, what else do you want me to do?

Well, don't you think it highly suspicious

that someone should try to break in here the night before last

and then last night, this?

Harold, we've far more important things to worry about than suspicious incidents.

Now go on home and have a good rest. There's a good lad.

[sighs] Too keen, that's his trouble. Never make a good policeman.

Now, what was I doing? Oh yes, the baritone part now.

I wrote that out somewhere, didn't I? Yes, here we are.

[vocalizing]

Well, what is it? What do you want to talk to me about? Can't it wait?

No, it can't! I'm going.

-Going! Going where? -I'm leaving here.

I realize it was a mistake now, us getting married.

-Mistakes happen in the best of families. -I'm serious, Georgie.

I've thought it all out. You can easily get the marriage annulled.

Annulled?

On the grounds it was never consumed.

Are you going nutty? I don't want to annul you.

Well, you don't see seem to want to do anything else to me.

Myrt, I've told you. I've got this money business in my head.

That's just it!

You think more about the money than you do about me!

Don't you see? We're wasting so much time.

Cor blimey, we've only been out for two days.

Look, we're getting on!

I want a home and a family before it's too late.

That's it! Don't you see? That's it! I want the loot for you!

Do you think I want my kids to starve with nothing like I did?

I want to be able to give them the best.

Their own set of tools, a good fast getaway car.

I don't want my kids going into this business!

Do you realize what you're saying?

I've spent the best years of my life building up a good solid family business.

Oh, stop fooling yourself, Georgie.

You haven't got a penny and not likely to, not from here either.

You're right. You're dead right.

And I knew it the minute that harpoon stunt went wrong.

I just can't think of another thing. We haven't got a chance.

Oh, don't worry, Georgie. We'll be all right.

-That is, if you still want me. -Well, of course I want you.

Enough to leave here and start a normal life together?

Yeah, right away, if you like.

And you won’t try and think of other ways to get that money, will you?

[scoffs] What's the use? There is no other way.

I'm glad you realized that, Georgie.

’Cause I've known right from the start you’ve got as much chance

of getting over that wall as you have of getting under it.

[chuckles]

Under it. Under it!

That's it! Why didn't I think of that? We've been doing it the wrong way!

I love you!

[lighthearted jazzy music]

[laughs]

Dipper, Dipper, come on, boy. Get up. Get up.

-What's happened? -Nothing.

You've had a slight accident, that's all. Here we are.

Oh, I'm all stiff.

Hey, wait a minute. I can't move my arms, George.

Well, you'll have to. You can't walk about like that. It looks ridiculous.

-[cracking] -[groaning]

There we are.

Oh, yes, that's better. Yes, that's better.

-Well, did we get the money then, George? -No.

But you don't have to worry. I've got a sensational idea.

-Oh, no, not again. -Will you shut up and listen?

We're don't have to worry about getting over that wall anymore.

-Why? -Because we're going to build a tunnel.

Hey, that's a marvelous idea, George.

Do you think we can do it?

Come on, come on. I want you to go out,

nick some tools: spades, pickaxes, saws, all that sort of gear.

Right, you leave it to me, George.

And don't you worry. We'll fool them this time.

I bet no one's ever thought of building a tunnel over a wall before.

No, not over…

Never mind… Now, then.

It's about 70 yards from here, I reckon.

So if we start as near that window as possible… four or five days, right?

I realize that a brilliant mind like yours

tends to overlook trifling details, but…

-But what? -This is an upstairs room!

I realize that.

I just wanted to see if you did too, that's all.

[soft playful music]

[soft sneaky music]

[vocalizing]

Morning, Sergeant.

Oh, it's you again, eh? Come to make a start on the tree, then?

That's the idea.

Is it all right for us to bring those tools through here?

You'll have to. There's no other way, is there?

No, ha-ha, no. Come on then.

[phone rings]

[lighthearted music]

[vocalizing]

-Excuse me, Sergeant. -Oh! What is it?

Somebody's pinched our truck.

Oh, no! Not today!

They have. It was just standing right outside here. And it's gone.

[sighs] Well, I'm sorry, but I don't know what I can do about it.

I mean, I 'm up to my ears as it is.

But you must be able to do something!

All right. All right. Let's get all the particulars down then, shall we?

Oh, I don't know. What with harpoons

and disappearing trucks, we'll be lucky if we get this concert on by Christmas.

Is this it?

Thank you.

-Right! One: name and occupation? -Henry Blobbitt.

-Blobbitt! -Blobb… itt.

Tree feller.

All right, Tarzan.

Here, I've got an idea! You know what we need?

[Booky] What?

-A room downstairs. -Brilliant!

Now that's what I call really quick thinking.

I don't know how you do it, George.

Never mind the sarcasm.

What about the one down below here, next to the dining room?

-That is Mrs. Gamely's room. -Is it now?

-That would be perfect, wouldn't it? -Yes, it would.

What do we do? Get her to move out or just dig round her?

Ask her to change rooms, of course.

Oh yes, I'm sure she'd be delighted to do that for you.

I'm not gonna ask her to do anything for me.

Now you're talking sense.

-You are. -What? Now wait a minute!

I've got them, George. A whole truck full.

Good boy! Where are they?

Still in the truck. It's in the lane at the back of the house.

Well, look. Dump the tools in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

Get rid of the truck 'cause we don't want the cops around here.

-Right! Leave it to me! -Good!

Now then, all we need is that room!

Booky! I think it's time you had a nice cozy little chat with Mrs. Game--

Booky!

[humorous music]

[laughing]

-That's all. I think that's about the lot. -Thank heavens for that.

Yes. All we need now is a rough sketch map showing the position of the vehicle…

or vehicles at the time of the theft.

But I've just told you, it was right outside here. Here.

I know that, lad,

but I can't put down "right outside here, here."

It's got to be drawn.

Now, how many yards was it from the corner?

Approximately.

Yards? I don't know how many yards!

I see.

Then we'd better go and measure up, haven't we?

Little bit of measuring!

[lighthearted music]

It was right…

[sighs] Some people think we've got nothing better to do than fill in forms.

Makes me sick.

Well, then.

[vocalizing]

[clear throat]

-Excuse me, Sergeant. -Oh.

-I suppose it's gone again? -No!

Ah, that's all right then.

The tools have.

[sighs]

Right. One…

-Name and occupation? -Blobbitt… Trees.

-Oh, come on! -Oh, please, George. Don't make me do it.

What are you worrying about?

You're only gonna ask her to change rooms with you, that's all.

She won't mind. She likes you.

-I know. That's what I'm worried about. -Oh, come on!

Oh!

Morning.

Morning.

Yes, well, uh, we haven't got time to stand here chatting all day. Excuse us.

Thank you.

Here, just a minute.

-Yes? -Were you at it last night?

I… beg your pardon?

Well no, I mean bird watching or whatever you do, I mean.

Oh, that! Yes well, we're always at it, you know.

I was just wondering if you'd seen anything peculiar… going on.

Oh, peculiar?

Well, no, I mean most birds sleep at night, you know. Don't they?

-Yes. -No, I wasn't thinking about birds.

I just thought you might've seen someone doing something…

funny with a harpoon… gun.

Harpoon gun?

Well… no. I don't think I've ever seen anybody doing anything…

funny with a harpoon gun. Have you, doctor?

Uh, no, no.

I once saw somebody do something rather peculiar with a f-- f-- flit gun.

Yeah, but not a harpoon gun!

Oh, no, no, not a ha-- ha-- ha-- harpoon gun.

Yes, I'm sorry, uh…

I'm sure he's onto something. Did you see the look he gave us?

-Of course I saw it. -It was loaded with handcuffs.

All the more reason why we've got to get cracking and get out of it.

-Morning, Sally. -Oh, it's you.

You won't get any breakfast now, you know. It's all finished.

-That's all right. We're not hungry. -Just as well.

That was a close one, wasn't it?

Yes. Not quite up to your usual standard, was it?

No, well, uh… Why don't you let me carry it for you, Ms. Gamely?

After all, we don't want any more accidents, do we?

[Sally] No.

-Well, where do you want it then? -In here.

In here.

[shattering]

What was that? Oh… Oh, it's you!

[both] Well, you won't get any breakfast now. It's all finished.

Yes, I know.

Yes, well, we have to keep to our times, you know.

Certainly you do.

Of course, if Dr. Line hasn't been well…

Oh, he's feeling much better now.

As a matter of fact, he wants to ask you a small favor, don't you, doctor?

-No. -Yes, you do. He's a bit shy.

Oh, well you mustn't be shy with me, doctor.

You know, I'll do anything to make you happy while you're here.

Isn't that lucky?

Now, why not come to my room, doctor?

We'll be more cozy in there.

-George! -Go on, go and get cozy!

[lighthearted music]

Oh, I'm most terribly sorry.

Oh, that's quite all right, doctor. I don't mind.

[Mrs. Gamely] But we must be careful, you know.

[whisper] We don't want people to see us, do we?

[downtrodden music]

Hm.

Well, let's sit down and make ourselves comfortable, shall we?

Oh no, no, I'm, I'm quite all right here. Thank you, Mrs. Gamely.

Now, now… Mildred.

Remember?

[chuckles] Mildred.

[chuckles forcibly] That's better. Now, what's yours?

Oh, it's a little early in the day for me, thank you.

No, your first name, I mean.

[chuckles]

Freddy… Frederick.

Frederick. Charming.

Well… Frederick, what is it you wanted to ask me?

Well… it's rather personal.

Well, I was hoping it might be.

That's why I suggested we came in here.

Yes.

Well, it's about our sleeping arrangements.

-Oh! -Yes, well, you see, at the moment…

you sleep down here, and I'm up there and we…

I was… wondering if you wouldn't mind changing all that.

I'm not quite sure I know what you mean, Frederick.

Would you mind coming into my room tonight?

Why… Oh my… Frederick! [exhales]

You see, I'm… I'm not sleeping too well up there.

It's… the altitude.

I can't stand heights.

And we… I was hoping you'd be kind enough to swap over with us.

Oh!

It… it wouldn't be for long… just until we got the job, uh…

our work finished.

Well, I'm afraid not, Frederick. I'd… do anything for you, naturally, but…

This was my dear husband's room during his last long illness and…

I couldn't possibly move out. I'm sure you understand.

Yes, of course, Mildred.

Of course, if I was to marry again…

well, that would be quite different.

Naturally.

But there's not much chance of that happening, is there? [chuckles]

Oh, I don't know. [chuckles]

I'm just waiting for the right man to come along, you know.

Yes.

Well, I must be off.

I mean, he wouldn't want to come here and find me here, would he?

Don't go, Frederick. I mean, who knows?

-Perhaps it could be you. -Yes, well, Mildred, Mrs. Gamely.

-No, Frederick. -Mrs. Gamely. Mil…

-Frederick, I've… -Listen.

Don't run away from her, you nit. Give in!

What are you creeping up on me like that for?

I've just come to tell you I've hid the tools all right.

Well, that would be a fat lot of good to us if he doesn't pull his finger out!

Come upstairs. We can't talk here.

I've been in the kitchen helping Sally with the washing up.

Yeah, that's right. You keep doing that,

you'll have lovely soft hands to go with your lovely soft head.

Well, she's really very nice, George.

'Cause when I dropped all those dishes, she just laughed.

And we got on smashing after that.

Here we are in shocking trouble, and all you can do is talk about Sally!

-Oh, I'm sorry. -You should be!

All we need now is for those fellows to come around here

and chop down that tree, and we've had it.

Oh, they did come, George.

-They what? -This morning.

I can't see 'em.

Well, I expect they've had to go and get another lot of tools.

You don't mean to tell me it was their tools you nicked?

Yes. Did I do wrong, George?

[laughs] You did right, for the first time!

-[breathe heavily] -What happened?

What happened?

She chased me around the room, that's what happened.

And I suppose you behaved like a flipping electric hare.

Well, wouldn't you?

They shouldn't let women like that out of the trap!

Never mind about that! What about the room?

-She refused. -Why?

Well, it was tricky, you see. I mean, it was her husband's room,

and she wouldn't dream of moving out of it unless she married again.

So it was useless, you see.

I mean, [laughs] who would dream of marrying a woman like that?

[laughing]

What are you laughing at?

George, you're not…

[laughing]

-No, never! -[laughing]

You remember what you said to me? "The big job comes first.

-Nothing must stand in its way." -I don't care. I won't do it!

I couldn't! [breathe heavily]

No, no, no!

Do you, Frederick Line,

take Mildred Gamely to be your lawfully wedded wife?

-Say, "I do." -I can't.

It's like asking a bloke to plead guilty.

There's no need to be nervous, dear.

It's his first time, you see. And it's all happened rather quickly. [chuckles]

Madam, I'm not interested in speed so much as results.

Well, do you, or don't you?

Well, he wouldn't be here if he didn't, would he?

I'm sorry,

but the law requires the bridegroom

to utter the formal words of acceptance.

But he's just an ignorant nit. He doesn't know anything about the law.

-I do! -There you are. He said it. You satisfied?

Oh, very well.

Do you, Mildred Gamely, take Frederick Line

to be your lawfully wedded husband?

I do.

I hereby pronounce you man and wife.

[gasps]

[humorous music]

-Here they are then, the happy couple! -Right-oh! [laughs]

Congratulations, there! Well, I hope you'll both be very happy.

Thank you.

Oh, it's all happened so quickly.

I've hardly got my breath back.

Yes, well, you'll never miss it.

-Did you switch the rooms? -Yes, it's ready.

Thanks again.

Oh, I'm feeling rather tired. It's all the excitement, you know.

Oh, I haven't had time to thank you for that lovely wedding supper, professor!

It's a pleasure, Mildred, a real pleasure.

I'm sorry I forgot me checkbook, but you don't have to worry.

Oh, you've all been very sweet to us, haven't they, Frederick?

Very.

Well, time's getting on, dear.

I think we ought to be saying good night, don't you?

Yes, rather.

-Good night. -What?

Well, aren't you coming up just yet, dear?

Well, you have to excuse Frederick for a little while, Mildred.

We've got some work to do.

Work?

-Yes, on the little bustard. -Yes, but… I don't understand.

-You have to watch all night? -Certainly. And all day!

Undisturbed.

But surely… don't the bird get no sleep?

Well, no. It suffers from… permanent insomnia, you see.

Hence that expression… poor little bustard. Come on.

Good night, dear.

Oh, dear.

I know just how you feel. But this is a very big moment for them.

They've been waiting for this for 15 years.

Oh, I hope we don't have to wait for another 15.

-Did you lock that door? -Not half.

Whoever said "crime doesn't pay" knew what they were talking about.

When I think of what I've been through today…

Oh, shut up moaning and do something!

I've done enough for you. I'm tired out!

-Tired? -Yes.

Ah, he's tired. Isn't that a shame?

Here, I think the best thing to do is bundle you straight up to bed.

-[sighs] What do you want doing? -[laughs] Right. Now, this…

I reckon they're gonna start on that tree tomorrow.

It will take them three or four days. Now then,

we have got to go about 45 yards.

That means we must average 15 yards a day.

Oh, that's going to take some doing, George.

Right. Get digging.

We'll start here.

[sneaky jazz music]

[soft downtempo music]

[sneaky jazz music]

Thank you.

[soft downtempo music]

[sighs]

[laughing]

[bright upbeat music]

-[soft sneaky music] -[grunting]

[sighs]

[no sound]

[somber music]

[sighs]

[sighs]

-[soft bright music] -[whistling]

[soft comical music]

[lighthearted music]

[sneaky comical music]

♪ Come, friends, who plough the sea ♪

♪ Truce to navigation Take another station ♪

-♪ Let’s vary piracy ♪ -[banging conductor baton]

♪ With a little burglary ♪

[whistle blows]

♪ Let’s vary… ♪

Dear, dear…

The baritones, you did it all wrong there. It was… You're all wrong, you see.

Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Now listen to this.

[vocalizing]

Here, Sergeant!

Do you mind, please? Don't interrupt me.

But this is important, Sergeant!

Yes, so is this! Right.

Now this time, the baritones alone.

-[men vocalizing] -[fast-paced tense music]

Mrs. G! Sally! Oh, there you are!

Take a look at that!

[Mrs. Gamely] Why, it's a picture of my Frederick.

And the professor, isn't it?

It's a police notice?

Well, of course it is! They're a bunch of crooks.

Crooks? How extraordinary!

Ah, not to me.

No, I knew there was something funny about that lot right from the start.

I don't believe it!

Tim, Mr. Sinker, a crook?

Yes, there, that's him, "Timothy Day."

This is the bunch who that did that big bank job I was telling you about.

-"The Great Brain" and his gang. -No.

-Really? -Yes!

I had a hunch the money was hidden somewhere around here.

It was probably them trying to get into the yard.

Crikey, it must be hidden in that tree!

Here, what are you going to do?

Well, take them in, of course! What do you think?

[gasps]

All right, you in there, open up! I know who you are!

No, it's no use! They're not in there. They've gone! They've gone!

Gone? Where?

Don’t you believe it, Harold? I know where they are.

-Hiding up in her room. -Oh, so that's it! Thanks, Sal.

Uh, you better keep well back. This might get a bit rough.

-Sally! -Oh, I'm sorry, Mum.

I just couldn't let him get Tim.

Oh, don't be sorry, dear. Your father would've been very proud of you.

My father? What do you mean?

Well, you see, he was in the business. He was a cat burglar.

[laughing]

Mum! Well, why didn't you tell me before?

Oh, because he was a very modest man. He didn't like people to know.

[Harold] There's no one here. I've looked under…

Look, I think we ought to warn them.

-Yeah, we ought to. Where are they? -They're downstairs, digging a tunnel.

-Digging a tunnel? -Yes, through to the police station yard.

He was right. The money is hidden in that tree.

A tun… Oh, the fools!

Oh, if only I'd known!

There's still time to do something. Come on.

[sneaky comical music]

[whisper] Come on.

[policemen singing] ♪ With cat-like tread ♪

♪ Upon our prey we steal In silence dread ♪

-[whisper] Sally, hold this. -Right.

♪ Our cautious way we feel ♪

[Sally] Blimey, and what are all these?

Your dad's tools.

-Beautiful, aren't they? -Yeah.

-Every one has his initials engraved. -Marvelous!

Well now, come on to business. Sally, you watch that way.

-Myrtle, you there. OK? -Right.

[policemen singing]

♪ Let’s vary piracy ♪

[soft sneaky music]

We must be getting near the surface now.

Don't be stupid. We've got another three foot four inches to go.

Keep digging.

If you say so. [sighs]

It's caving in!

He's right! Get out, quick! Get out! Come on, lads!

♪ …way we feel… ♪

Exactly two feet north of the tree,

exactly under 20 feet of ten dirty great coppers.

So I made a slight miscalculation.

Dipper, get the car. Let's get out of here.

-Is this what you're looking for? -What?

-Where did you get that? -Not now. In here, quick.

We've got it! We've finally got it!

No, George. We finally got it!

-Oh, what's the difference? Give it to me. -Hey, just a minute now.

We split the money six ways, agreed?

[laughs] Did you hear that?

Split it six ways! Give me that money! Come on…

George!

All right then, six ways. Give me the money.

[Brain] Here, somebody's…

[Booky] They've chewed it all up!

The little bustards!

Well, what do you expect if you hide things in such stupid places?

-How much was there? -Fifty thousand quid!

Fif… [laughs] Chicken feed!

Chicken feed?

Well, you heard me. The next job we do will be worth far more than that.

Who do you think you're talking to? I'm the boss of this outfit!

Quiet! I'm the boss now.

This is a job I was planning with my late husband,

and there are five million pounds in it.

She's mad!

Look, every Saturday night,

there's a special train that leaves Edinburgh carrying used banknotes.

Now, this is the plan. I set the signals at red…

[lively jazz music]