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-1:59:59,032 --> 00:00:04,034
Pocketful_of_Miracles_(1961) ,BR_MKV_H264(FrantonProductions,Eng,ASL,Spa,Sub) 1280x544
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00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:27,923
God bless everybody.
3
00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:38,108
Apples! Help an old lady. Buy an apple.
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Bless you, mister.
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00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:47,331
A nickel. Thank you, Mr. Rockefeller!
6
00:00:47,461 --> 00:00:49,502
You lousy cheapskate.
7
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,203
Apples! Apples!
8
00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:53,844
Tallulah!
9
00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,515
Tallulah, good luck tonight!
10
00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,137
Apples! Apples, madam?
11
00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,268
Buy an apple? An apple, madam?
12
00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,689
Apples? Apples?
13
00:01:06,819 --> 00:01:08,400
Apples?
14
00:01:08,530 --> 00:01:11,611
Apples... Apples...
15
00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:15,123
Apples... Apples...
16
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,624
Apples... Apples...
17
00:01:19,004 --> 00:01:22,386
Apples... Apples...
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- Where'd you pick him up?
- He's the new fella.
19
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,559
- Working the subway, huh?
- He didn't pay you yet, did he?
20
00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,810
I gave you five bucks last month.
21
00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:37,022
Five bucks every month
if you work Broadway, buster.
22
00:01:37,152 --> 00:01:40,033
Hey, that's seven. Two of that's mine.
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Yeah, Soho.
24
00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:47,206
A nice long letter.
25
00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:49,877
- Did it come today?
- Yeah. I'll pass it around.
26
00:01:50,007 --> 00:01:54,839
Now get going over to the Casino.
There's a matinee.
27
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:58,380
New joke?
28
00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:02,062
(cackles)
29
00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:05,693
(car hoots)
30
00:02:09,285 --> 00:02:11,776
- Hi, Smiley.
- Hi, Annie. Been looking for you.
31
00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:15,247
Dave the Dude wants to see you
at Rudy Martin's.
32
00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:17,588
- # Happy days...
- Annie...
33
00:02:17,708 --> 00:02:20,799
- I ain't paid this month. I'm a little short.
- Sure you are.
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00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,381
Comes Christmas time, what you beg
you put in the Santa Claus box.
35
00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,222
- I know. I'm a sucker.
- You are.
36
00:02:26,352 --> 00:02:28,552
- Any mail?
- Yeah. Over at the Casino.
37
00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:30,103
Don't forget the Dude.
38
00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:38,567
- Thanks, Annie.
- Aw, shut up.
39
00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:53,263
# P-racticalityD-oesn't interest me
40
00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:57,144
# Love the life that I lead
41
00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:01,016
# I've got a pocketful of miracles
42
00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:05,067
# And with my pocketful of miracles
43
00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:11,820
# One little miracle a day is all I need
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00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,502
# T-roubles more or lessB-other me, I guess
45
00:03:16,622 --> 00:03:20,133
# When the sun doesn't shine
46
00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:24,385
# But there's that pocketful of miracles
47
00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:28,347
# And with my pocketful of miracles
48
00:03:28,477 --> 00:03:31,358
# The world's a bright and shiny apple
49
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:37,070
# That's mine, all mine
50
00:03:40,662 --> 00:03:43,283
Dude sent word he wants me.
51
00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,874
On top of everything else,
this one shows up.
52
00:03:46,004 --> 00:03:51,006
All right. You got 14 fifths of Scotch...
Just sit down, Annie. Five of the bourbon...
53
00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:56,428
You know, Joy Boy, this morning was
the first time I ever been to a funeral.
54
00:03:56,558 --> 00:03:59,940
- Do you believe there's a life after?
- Five of the gin and...
55
00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,481
Why are you sittin' there like a dummy?
Why don't you write it down?
56
00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:05,902
If I could write I'd be in the navy.
57
00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:07,783
Where's the Dude?
58
00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:10,364
What is it with you?
You can't wait 12 seconds?
59
00:04:10,494 --> 00:04:13,835
You got an appointment
at the beauty parlor with that mop?
60
00:04:13,955 --> 00:04:17,297
Here, give me that. I'll write, you count.
61
00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:21,178
- If I could count I'd be in the army.
- (both laugh)
62
00:04:21,298 --> 00:04:23,139
Why don't you laugh? It's funny.
63
00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:25,970
If I could laugh I wouldn't have heartburn.
64
00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,931
(explosion)
65
00:04:41,747 --> 00:04:44,998
Wanna know why Rudy Martin
was found in the river? There it is.
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00:04:45,128 --> 00:04:48,419
50 G's worth of I.O. Thems
to the gambling boys. Hello, Annie.
67
00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:53,591
There's a note. "Thanks for everything.
Take care of my baby Queenie."
68
00:04:53,722 --> 00:04:57,473
- What's "baby Queenie"?
- Maybe he left you a horse.
69
00:04:57,603 --> 00:05:01,305
- There's a Queenie running at Hialeah.
- That's right. Hey, Powder!
70
00:05:01,445 --> 00:05:06,687
- Thanks a lot. You did a good job in there.
- For you, Dude, any time, boy.
71
00:05:07,197 --> 00:05:11,119
Annie, is that the biggest apple you got?
I need a triple shot of luck today.
72
00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:14,170
This apple'll make
the birds sing for you again.
73
00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:18,712
I tell you, kid, you get another sucker
like my boss, you can retire altogether.
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00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:21,593
This could only happen
to a smart guy like you.
75
00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:25,554
There's a man who owns a joint,
gets knocked off owing you $20,000.
76
00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:29,726
And on top of that, you get stuck
for the funeral bill. Go figure that.
77
00:05:29,856 --> 00:05:33,778
Fine thing you did,
giving a poor soul a Christian burial.
78
00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:35,488
Here's luck for you.
79
00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:39,240
Something good's gonna happen
to you now. Something real good.
80
00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,491
(Joy Boy) Yeah. You could break a leg.
81
00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:44,302
You give up panhandling,
I'll give up bootlegging,
82
00:05:44,422 --> 00:05:48,544
and you and me will run this speak
together. Could be a gold mine, Annie.
83
00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:52,675
No, I'm not kidding, Annie.
Come on, let's see your gams.
84
00:05:52,806 --> 00:05:56,557
- Oh, boy. Whoopee!
- How about that, huh?
85
00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:59,228
- Hello, suckers!
- You old chiseling moocher.
86
00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:03,610
- Here. Here's a fiver for your apple.
- God bless you, Dude.
87
00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:10,583
Annie, will you tell me, why do I always
believe that your apples bring me luck?
88
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,744
Can you tell me?
89
00:06:14,164 --> 00:06:17,926
Because the little people like you.
90
00:06:18,636 --> 00:06:22,137
- What little people?
- Oh, you can't see 'em.
91
00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:25,219
They live in dreams.
92
00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:32,272
Little people like me, huh? Why?
93
00:06:32,402 --> 00:06:37,244
Because they like children,
beggars and poets.
94
00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:40,285
And that makes me a poet?
95
00:06:40,415 --> 00:06:43,746
You want to believe in something.
96
00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:46,207
Right now it's my apple.
97
00:06:46,337 --> 00:06:51,049
So, the little people jump in it, see?
98
00:06:51,179 --> 00:06:54,641
That's why this apple will bring you luck.
99
00:06:57,062 --> 00:07:00,563
Why, you old con dame. Here's
the only thing you believe in.
100
00:07:00,693 --> 00:07:04,445
- There you go, Annie.
- God bless you, Dude. God bless you.
101
00:07:04,575 --> 00:07:07,866
- And bring you luck straightaway.
- All right.
102
00:07:07,996 --> 00:07:11,858
Hey, Annie! You stay away
from those gin bottles. You hear me?
103
00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,539
- I never touch it.
- Yeah, sure.
104
00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:18,760
- Are you Mr. Dave the Dude?
- I am. Don't drip on my suit.
105
00:07:18,881 --> 00:07:23,182
What is this? Grand Central? Junior,
close that door. There's liquor in here.
106
00:07:23,302 --> 00:07:28,464
You lookin' for a job in the chorus, kid?
The joint's closed, so try someplace else.
107
00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:32,356
- And lock it!
- I read this in a Maryland paper.
108
00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,867
"Rudy Martin, gangland victim,
was buried today."
109
00:07:35,987 --> 00:07:38,328
"Dave the Dude arranged his funeral."
110
00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:41,960
- Maryland? Old Rudy really got around.
- I beg your pardon?
111
00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,752
If you got money comin' to you, the Dude
is not pickin' up the tab for Rudy's bills.
112
00:07:46,882 --> 00:07:52,844
- Now be a nice girl. Take a walk. Bye.
- Rudy Martin was my father.
113
00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:58,977
You're Rudy's kid?
114
00:07:59,107 --> 00:08:03,949
- You're Queenie?
- Yeah. Well, that's what Papa called me.
115
00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,120
Hey! She ain't a horse!
116
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:10,411
- Why didn't you show at the funeral?
- I just read about it.
117
00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:14,793
- You ain't pulling a fast one on me?
- Mr. Dude, I'm here because of you.
118
00:08:14,923 --> 00:08:17,845
Papa came to see me last month
and he was very worried.
119
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:21,886
He said "Queenie, if anything happens
to me, here's the lease to my club."
120
00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:26,398
"Give it to Dave the Dude. He's a right guy
and I've got to pay him back."
121
00:08:26,518 --> 00:08:29,009
So here it is. It's all signed and everything.
122
00:08:29,149 --> 00:08:31,860
That's very nice,
but the joint's in hock up to here.
123
00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:36,032
The inventory won't pay for the flowers,
so the lease is worth about a quarter.
124
00:08:36,162 --> 00:08:39,333
Miss Martin, "Papa" owes me $20,000,
125
00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:43,325
and a lot more to some guys
who don't laugh so easy.
126
00:08:43,465 --> 00:08:45,506
- That much?
- That much.
127
00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:54,890
Well, I've got a few dollars in the bank.
128
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:59,692
What I make at the cafeteria,
I could manage five dollars a week.
129
00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:02,863
- A cafeteria?
- I'm cashier there.
130
00:09:02,993 --> 00:09:07,285
The next one Howard... uh, Mr. Porter
opens, I'm gonna be manager.
131
00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:09,706
Then I could give you a little more.
132
00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:13,957
- It's five whole dollars.
- The lucky apple is working already.
133
00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:18,039
- Very big.
- It's the best I can do.
134
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:24,812
Goodbye, Mr. Dude.
Thank you for being Papa's friend.
135
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,983
Yeah. I mean...
136
00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:36,366
That's the first broad I ever seen
who wanted to do something for you.
137
00:09:36,497 --> 00:09:40,998
You know, maybe...
138
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,100
- Miss?
- Hey, Dude! No! Come here!
139
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:48,721
You know, at $5 a week it'll take you
200 years to pay off your father's debt.
140
00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:53,603
- I don't care if it takes a thousand years.
- Take it easy. I got an idea.
141
00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:58,065
(Joy Boy) For my boss it was the luckyapple that brought Queenie into his life.
142
00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:00,906
Go figure - he's got a thingabout Annie's apples.
143
00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:09,080
So the Dude shoots the bankroll andpromotes Queenie into a nightclub star.
144
00:10:18,173 --> 00:10:21,345
Much to my surprise she ain't too bad.
145
00:10:23,306 --> 00:10:26,517
And you know what?The club begins to make money.
146
00:10:26,647 --> 00:10:32,739
And Queenie begins to pay offher papa's debts. Go figure that one.
147
00:10:32,869 --> 00:10:37,371
By the second year,the club is a sensation.
148
00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:39,542
(applause)
149
00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,690
We're in the big dough.
150
00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:01,111
Step back. The elevator's coming up.
151
00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:05,703
We're gettin' so big, the oppositionbegins playin' games with us.
152
00:11:13,676 --> 00:11:20,009
The Dude kisses the old apple,but I know better: I kiss the iron doors.
153
00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:22,179
(party horns)
154
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,561
But it was too good to last.
155
00:11:25,691 --> 00:11:30,323
Suddenly the law pulls the rug outfrom under us bootleggers.
156
00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:34,955
- Another dollar?
- Stop squawkin', stop squawkin'.
157
00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:38,326
I only raised you one buck.
Tonight you can afford it.
158
00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:41,797
Liquor's legal.
The whole town's on a binge.
159
00:11:42,798 --> 00:11:45,879
- # Baby, baby, baby
- (chorus) # Baby, baby, baby
160
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,641
- # Baby, baby, baby
- # Baby, baby, baby
161
00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:51,261
- # I love you
- # I love you
162
00:11:51,391 --> 00:11:54,182
# Hope you love me too
163
00:11:56,443 --> 00:11:57,854
Ooh!
164
00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,537
All right, you wonderful
bunch of ex-lawbreakers.
165
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:08,578
This is the last night, the last song,
and the last bottle's on the house!
166
00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,039
Hurray!
167
00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:12,920
(# lively band music)
168
00:12:17,182 --> 00:12:19,863
Does that mean we'll be playin', Dude?
169
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,855
- You are a genius. You are a genius!
- I know. Now tell me what happened.
170
00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,776
- The big man is here.
- I told you so, huh?
171
00:12:27,906 --> 00:12:30,197
- And he's waitin' for you.
- Let him wait.
172
00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,578
- What man?
- I told you to find Apple Annie.
173
00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:35,279
I spread the word with the BBC -
Beggars' Broadcast...
174
00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,460
- Move it!
- Yes, sir.
175
00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:41,712
What are you gonna do? Wait around for
some apple? What's the matter with you?
176
00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:45,884
Listen, Dave. The big man don't wait easy.
He could get very nasty.
177
00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:50,345
- He could put on them dark cheaters.
- I'm not leaving here until I get my apple.
178
00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:52,516
All right. OK.
179
00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,778
I'll go look in a few gutters myself.
180
00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:08,663
Herbie!
181
00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:10,163
Shh!
182
00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:12,334
- Did you get it?
- Don't I always?
183
00:13:12,464 --> 00:13:15,926
- Classiest stationery in the house.
- God bless you, Herbie.
184
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:19,307
A blind man could read that.
"Hotel Marberry."
185
00:13:19,887 --> 00:13:23,649
- Give it to me.
- When are you expecting another letter?
186
00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,320
The mail boat comes in tomorrow.
187
00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,312
You know, I could get fired
for stealing your letters.
188
00:13:31,282 --> 00:13:36,034
Herbie, you mustn't get fired.
Please don't get fired.
189
00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:41,006
Who keeps writing you
from Spain, anyway?
190
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:43,297
None of your business.
191
00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:45,548
A heavy lover, eh, Annie?
192
00:13:45,678 --> 00:13:47,969
Yeah. King Alfonso.
193
00:13:48,099 --> 00:13:51,680
But keep it quiet.
The queen gets very jealous.
194
00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:53,851
(both guffaw)
195
00:13:58,693 --> 00:14:00,194
(knocking)
196
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,787
Well!
197
00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:12,589
It's been two years I've been waiting
for one like that. Come here, you.
198
00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,760
Oh, Queenie.
199
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,971
(both) Mmm...
200
00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:19,672
- (muffled) Dude...
- Mmm? What?
201
00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:22,143
The doorknob's killing me.
202
00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:26,695
The doorknob, huh?
203
00:14:28,195 --> 00:14:30,776
You gorgeous stack of cupcakes.
Come here.
204
00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:33,827
- Now, Dude...
- Come on now, Queenie. You started this.
205
00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,208
I was trying to thank you for everything.
206
00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:40,340
That's the way to kill a man,
not thank him. Come here.
207
00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:43,591
- What's this? A party?
- It's the Fourth of July.
208
00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:47,223
- In December?
- It's freedom day for both of us.
209
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,814
- You're through selling liquor.
- Now it's legal, it's no fun.
210
00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:52,815
- I sold the club today.
- You did?
211
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,816
Did you bring 'em? Papa's IOUs?
212
00:14:57,317 --> 00:14:59,368
I brought 'em.
213
00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:03,409
There you are.
214
00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:06,221
The last of Papa's debts.
215
00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:10,332
Now we put them in the Easter fire
and we burn the past.
216
00:15:11,003 --> 00:15:14,794
- Now you can make it Christmas, Dude.
- Happy New Year. How?
217
00:15:14,924 --> 00:15:17,605
By saying you meant it
when you asked me to marry you.
218
00:15:17,725 --> 00:15:21,147
Honey, I'll marry you.
I'll fight Dempsey, kiss a cop, anything.
219
00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,518
Let's get started. Two years is a long wait.
220
00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:28,320
Saturday, darling.
10 A.M. Saturday we get married. It's all set.
221
00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:31,321
You're kidding. Really married? Us?
222
00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:36,253
The real us. No more Dude and
no more Queenie. To David and Elizabeth.
223
00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:40,505
Mr. and Mrs. Conway of Silver Springs,
Maryland, and their flock of children.
224
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,675
- Maryland?
- Yeah.
225
00:15:42,805 --> 00:15:46,307
You know the house I was born in?
I bought it for us a year ago.
226
00:15:46,427 --> 00:15:49,938
- You keep a secret real good.
- Honey, I want to be married there,
227
00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:53,060
in Mama's wedding dress
by the preacher who married them.
228
00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:55,521
Maybe I should go out and get my violin.
229
00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:57,742
(hums "Here Comes the Bride")
230
00:15:57,862 --> 00:16:03,824
It's sappy, I know. But let me be sappy.
I'm sick of being Queenie Martin.
231
00:16:03,954 --> 00:16:06,335
Reverend Morgan's still down there.
232
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:10,587
He's 81 years old and he's still
conducting Sunday services.
233
00:16:10,717 --> 00:16:15,139
Dude, when I located him on the phone,
he cried. Can you imagine?
234
00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:18,850
I cried too. It was the wettest
long-distance call...
235
00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:21,771
Are you crying? I've never seen you cry.
236
00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:25,193
When I'm happy -
when I'm really happy - I'm a Niagara.
237
00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:33,036
OK, Elizabeth. To us.
238
00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:40,419
To the wedding in your mother's wedding
dress... by the 81-year-old preacher.
239
00:16:40,549 --> 00:16:44,641
- Oh, Dude, Niagara's coming!
- Watch it. This stuff burns holes, baby.
240
00:16:44,761 --> 00:16:47,442
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
241
00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:54,275
Oh, Queenie...
242
00:16:59,157 --> 00:17:00,997
Dude, Annie's here. Let's go.
243
00:17:01,117 --> 00:17:03,578
- Annie?
- I'll be right out!
244
00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,750
What do you need an apple for?
What more luck do we need?
245
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,001
You just gave me a wedding present -
the place in Maryland.
246
00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:13,632
I'm gonna give you one.
An all-year house on a silver platter.
247
00:17:13,762 --> 00:17:16,514
- The whole city of New York.
- I don't want New York.
248
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:20,765
I want a little town in Maryland
where I can play the wife-and-mother bit.
249
00:17:20,895 --> 00:17:23,987
You can shake this.
You didn't want it in the first place.
250
00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,738
- But I'm a man who needs a little action.
- Action?
251
00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:28,699
- Prohibition's over.
- (knocking)
252
00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:31,540
Hey, Dude, the man is waitin'.
253
00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:35,711
- All right, all right.
- What man? Who are you seeing tonight?
254
00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:40,803
I'm making a meet with our future,
sweetheart. Mr. Big himself.
255
00:17:40,924 --> 00:17:43,885
- Not Darcey?
- You're right. Darcey.
256
00:17:44,015 --> 00:17:46,476
Dude, no. You're not going to Chicago?
257
00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:50,818
No. The mountain is coming to the Dude.
I'm not going to Chicago.
258
00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:54,069
Darcey in New York?
The police said they'd never let him in.
259
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,950
They didn't let him in. I did.
260
00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:01,662
Please, not Darcey. He's an animal.
He's a murderer. He's Public Enemy No.1.
261
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:05,203
- It's all headlines.
- Dude, will you move it? Let's go.
262
00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:09,465
Your car's outside. We can be in Maryland
by morning. We can make it legal.
263
00:18:09,595 --> 00:18:12,506
If you love me,
don't depend on some witch's apples.
264
00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:17,348
- Let's get away. We'll be real people.
- Simmer down, sweetheart. Come on.
265
00:18:17,478 --> 00:18:20,440
We go out into the sticks,
what kind of work am I gonna do?
266
00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:23,321
You're young.
You can make a name, money...
267
00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:28,903
What's money? I started at the bottom in
this town and I'm going right up to the top.
268
00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:32,244
I can outsmart those monkeys.
I've been doing it all my life.
269
00:18:32,374 --> 00:18:34,915
Ever since I escaped from that orphanage.
270
00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:39,587
And why? Because I'm good
and because I'm lucky.
271
00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:42,799
I'm gonna be somebody,
and you're gonna be somebody with me.
272
00:18:42,929 --> 00:18:45,610
- (knocking)
- I'm coming.
273
00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:50,482
Dude, if you shack up with Darcey
you can forget the wedding.
274
00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:52,653
Isn't she gorgeous?
275
00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:57,195
- Heads.
- Oh!
276
00:18:57,325 --> 00:19:01,026
- What's grabbin' her?
- It's nothing. She just wants a lot of kids.
277
00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:04,287
Kids? Boy, they're mean
when they get on that kick.
278
00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:08,089
Annie, where you been?
Playing Chase Me Charlie?
279
00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:11,090
And where were you Saturday?
I couldn't beat a race.
280
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:15,142
God bless you, Dude.
I wasn't feelin' so hot Saturday.
281
00:19:15,262 --> 00:19:18,313
- Ginned up again?
- No, Dude. Honest, I'm off the stuff.
282
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,984
About time. Dr. Michel says
your kidneys are shot.
283
00:19:21,104 --> 00:19:24,896
Aw, pooh. My kidneys are
as good as new - better.
284
00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:28,657
You think we could postpone
this discussion of Annie's kidneys?
285
00:19:28,787 --> 00:19:30,828
Lots of luck, Dude.
286
00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,711
Save a lot of trouble
if you bought the whole basket at once.
287
00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:41,423
I gotta buy these apples
one at a time just before I need 'em.
288
00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:44,234
We were both bums
until we found that out.
289
00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:47,855
Let's go. Pick-up point, the warehouse.
290
00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:51,937
God bless Dave the Dude.
291
00:19:55,698 --> 00:19:58,109
God bless all my friends.
292
00:20:04,962 --> 00:20:07,133
(horn)
293
00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:09,174
That's the boss.
294
00:20:09,304 --> 00:20:11,425
- Dude's here. Set?
- Set.
295
00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,230
- He's got his dark cheaters on, boss.
- Uh-oh.
296
00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,864
You're late.
297
00:21:09,678 --> 00:21:12,219
Late for what?
298
00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:17,061
Late for what? For 48 hours I've been
knocking around in this cage
299
00:21:17,191 --> 00:21:18,812
all the way from Chicago.
300
00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:21,483
I'm seasick.
301
00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,484
Don't any of you guys ever inhale?
302
00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:27,826
Like being in solitary, only it moves.
303
00:21:27,956 --> 00:21:31,957
Fine thing, some two-bit operator
sends for me in his upholstered boxcar
304
00:21:32,088 --> 00:21:37,250
and first thing you know, I'm being hauled
all over the country like a side of beef.
305
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:42,682
- This your layout?
- Yeah. I built it.
306
00:21:42,812 --> 00:21:46,183
See these walls? Bulletproof.
307
00:21:46,313 --> 00:21:50,905
In town it's neutral territory, even when
there's a war on. I call it Little Switzerland.
308
00:21:51,025 --> 00:21:56,107
What do the cops call it? They find me
in this town, you can stop the presses.
309
00:21:56,247 --> 00:22:00,829
There's ten vans just like this hauling
real furniture around. Here you're safe.
310
00:22:00,959 --> 00:22:03,000
That picture's ten years old.
311
00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:06,301
Relax, Darcey. Take it easy. Be my guest.
312
00:22:06,421 --> 00:22:12,644
Your guest? Ever occur to you that I could
also be your prisoner? Ever think of that?
313
00:22:13,804 --> 00:22:16,356
Yeah, I gave it a quick think.
314
00:22:16,476 --> 00:22:20,897
Maybe you'd better give a long think
to a guy by the name of Stiff Arm Sam.
315
00:22:21,027 --> 00:22:23,158
He once thought he could hold me too.
316
00:22:23,278 --> 00:22:25,819
Stiff Arm? The guy
that walks around like this?
317
00:22:25,949 --> 00:22:28,631
Yeah, with the blowtorch in the armpits.
318
00:22:28,751 --> 00:22:31,152
That's right.
That's my idea, the blowtorch.
319
00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,332
It must've hurt.
320
00:22:35,383 --> 00:22:39,215
It's against the law to carry firearms
in New York, Darcey. Right, Joy Boy?
321
00:22:39,345 --> 00:22:42,226
That's right. Here in New York
you gotta have a permit.
322
00:22:42,346 --> 00:22:46,898
- Nothin', boss.
- Yeah. It's beginnin' to figure.
323
00:22:47,018 --> 00:22:50,860
They tell me you've been operatin'
ten years in this town without a pinch.
324
00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,861
Yeah. Luck, Mr. Darcey. Pure luck.
325
00:22:53,991 --> 00:22:57,372
I heard about the luck bit.
The thing with the lucky apples.
326
00:22:57,492 --> 00:23:01,624
The wise guys figure
that's two strikes against you.
327
00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:02,834
- Oh?
- Yeah.
328
00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:07,086
They say you gotta buy them lucky apples
off of some little old lady, right?
329
00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:09,347
And if something happens to her...
330
00:23:09,467 --> 00:23:14,309
Could be like Samson
gettin' his first haircut.
331
00:23:14,979 --> 00:23:18,811
Look, Darcey. I got news for you.
You see these apples?
332
00:23:18,941 --> 00:23:21,732
I buy 'em by the crate
at the nearest grocery store.
333
00:23:21,862 --> 00:23:24,953
The wise guys want to believe
these apples bring me luck,
334
00:23:25,073 --> 00:23:27,414
it's two strikes against them.
335
00:23:27,534 --> 00:23:30,456
You know about psychology, huh?
336
00:23:30,586 --> 00:23:33,547
Yeah, I know about... whatever you call it.
337
00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:38,719
It's like your dark glasses. You put those
on, the boys sweat from here to Omaha.
338
00:23:38,849 --> 00:23:41,310
Me? I use apples.
339
00:23:46,812 --> 00:23:49,774
All right. Shall we quit clowning?
340
00:23:54,325 --> 00:23:56,366
(both chuckle)
341
00:23:57,707 --> 00:24:00,998
I like the way this kid operates, yeah.
342
00:24:01,128 --> 00:24:03,339
Smart boy. Smart dresser, too.
343
00:24:03,459 --> 00:24:06,880
- You like that?
- Oh, yeah. It's rich.
344
00:24:07,011 --> 00:24:09,972
- He likes it.
- Mind if I try that on?
345
00:24:10,102 --> 00:24:13,393
No. Why not? Give him a hand, Junior.
346
00:24:13,523 --> 00:24:15,564
Hold it, Junior.
347
00:24:17,025 --> 00:24:19,065
They say you're a smart operator.
348
00:24:19,195 --> 00:24:24,358
Gotta give you credit. You won the first
round. This is round two comin' up now.
349
00:24:24,498 --> 00:24:26,538
- How does it look?
- Great.
350
00:24:26,659 --> 00:24:28,999
Nice color, huh?
351
00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,500
Round two.
352
00:24:31,631 --> 00:24:34,672
I got maybe eight, ten
top candidates for this job.
353
00:24:34,802 --> 00:24:39,054
All smart, tough, hard-headed guys,
and I can take my pick of any one of 'em.
354
00:24:39,184 --> 00:24:44,476
Now suppose you tell me,
in ten words or less, like a telegram,
355
00:24:44,606 --> 00:24:50,528
why should Steve Darcey give
the New York territory to Dave the Dude?
356
00:24:50,658 --> 00:24:52,609
Go ahead, talk.
357
00:24:52,739 --> 00:24:55,830
- That's a good question. Right, Joy Boy?
- Beautiful.
358
00:24:55,950 --> 00:24:57,201
- Got an answer?
- No.
359
00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:58,331
- Got a question?
- Yeah.
360
00:24:58,461 --> 00:25:01,963
Ask it - in ten words, like a telegram.
361
00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:07,335
Why should Dave the Dude
give New York territory to Darcey?
362
00:25:07,475 --> 00:25:10,176
That's eleven, but...
363
00:25:10,306 --> 00:25:12,847
- Are you his mouthpiece?
- Call me his doormat.
364
00:25:12,977 --> 00:25:15,018
Why don't you lay down and act like one?
365
00:25:15,148 --> 00:25:17,609
Darcey, Joy Boy happens to be my friend,
366
00:25:17,739 --> 00:25:21,241
and all my friends are nine feet tall
and make very bad doormats.
367
00:25:21,361 --> 00:25:24,572
You bootleggers, you were nine feet tall.
368
00:25:24,702 --> 00:25:29,784
All big fish in a little pond, but all of
a sudden all the little ponds are dryin' up.
369
00:25:29,914 --> 00:25:33,866
That's where the king comes in.
I'm makin' me a national syndicate.
370
00:25:34,006 --> 00:25:37,877
I'm gonna push some of you
gaspin' sharks back in the water.
371
00:25:38,018 --> 00:25:41,679
But it's gonna be my water.
It'll cover the whole country.
372
00:25:41,809 --> 00:25:44,490
- Deep water.
- Deep, huh?
373
00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:47,441
How deep? Dames? Dope?
That's a little over my head.
374
00:25:47,571 --> 00:25:50,693
Come on. That's bush league.
375
00:25:50,823 --> 00:25:53,704
We're gonna operate
from presidential suites.
376
00:25:53,824 --> 00:25:57,996
We're gonna elect judges,
contribute to charities, finance operas.
377
00:25:58,126 --> 00:26:01,667
We're gonna be in
the big, profitable business
378
00:26:01,797 --> 00:26:05,259
of catering for all human weaknesses.
379
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:13,682
- What would be my cut?
- Your cut? The New York territory?
380
00:26:13,812 --> 00:26:16,563
Right down the middle.
If you're the right guy.
381
00:26:16,693 --> 00:26:18,734
He's the only guy.
382
00:26:18,864 --> 00:26:25,787
There's one more little detail. We request
the franchise holders to put up $50,000.
383
00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,918
In small bills.
384
00:26:29,959 --> 00:26:31,999
As a token of their good faith.
385
00:26:33,090 --> 00:26:35,261
- Who's driving?
- Herman.
386
00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:38,472
- Herman?
- Yeah.
387
00:26:38,602 --> 00:26:42,434
Take Mr. Darcey anywhere he wants to go
while he's in town. He's my guest.
388
00:26:42,564 --> 00:26:46,695
- Drop me off at the nearest goods stop.
- OK, boss.
389
00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:49,867
Wait a minute. You're not interested?
390
00:26:49,987 --> 00:26:52,158
No, not right now.
391
00:26:52,288 --> 00:26:56,620
Because, you see, this is one fish
that isn't jumping into anybody's pond
392
00:26:56,750 --> 00:27:03,122
unless I'm paid $100,000 in cash
as a token of your good faith.
393
00:27:03,262 --> 00:27:05,713
You want the syndicate to pay you?
394
00:27:05,843 --> 00:27:08,975
I'm the lucky one, remember?
395
00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:13,436
All right, boys, let's go. We got
some ponds that need watering real bad.
396
00:27:13,566 --> 00:27:18,728
Oh, if you get an itch for any of those
human weaknesses yourself, just holler.
397
00:27:18,859 --> 00:27:21,360
This is my town, Darcey.
398
00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:24,661
Wait a minute. Like I said, I like your style.
399
00:27:24,791 --> 00:27:27,252
But you know the rules
as good as I do, kid.
400
00:27:27,372 --> 00:27:32,624
The king makes an offer, the king
gets turned down, the king loses face.
401
00:27:33,424 --> 00:27:36,106
On a king that coat looks good.
402
00:27:36,226 --> 00:27:38,266
Wear it.
403
00:27:38,386 --> 00:27:40,437
Sheeh!
404
00:27:43,979 --> 00:27:48,110
That guy is gonna play on my side
or he ain't gonna play at all.
405
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,942
If it was me, I'd warm up the blowtorch.
406
00:27:54,453 --> 00:27:57,164
- Any mail?
- Tomorrow.
407
00:27:58,335 --> 00:28:00,375
(recites in Latin)
408
00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:14,811
Ooh! He uses a blowtorch on people?
What does he do - weld 'em?
409
00:28:14,941 --> 00:28:18,533
King. I don't like that guy.
410
00:28:18,653 --> 00:28:20,694
Be fun to take him apart, huh, Joy Boy?
411
00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,615
Be a load of laughs.
All the way up to our funeral.
412
00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:47,234
(sighs)
413
00:29:22,079 --> 00:29:26,500
(# "Arab Dance" from "The NutcrackerSuite" by Tchaikovsky)
414
00:29:39,226 --> 00:29:40,606
Scat.
415
00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:43,607
Scat. Scat.
416
00:29:45,488 --> 00:29:50,840
Lying all over my poor baby's picture.
417
00:29:50,950 --> 00:29:53,201
(kiss)
418
00:29:53,331 --> 00:29:56,793
As if it were the only place to sleep.
419
00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:12,689
My... darling...
420
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,491
Louise.
421
00:30:35,559 --> 00:30:38,890
I just love Annie's music.
422
00:30:40,981 --> 00:30:44,822
...the reception...
423
00:30:47,403 --> 00:30:50,285
I gave...
424
00:30:52,075 --> 00:30:54,126
for...
425
00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:14,064
for... Lord... Ferncliffe.
426
00:31:14,194 --> 00:31:16,365
(record sticks)
427
00:31:16,485 --> 00:31:18,826
Here's to Lord Ferncliffe.
428
00:31:24,128 --> 00:31:27,420
(record continues playing normally)
429
00:31:29,841 --> 00:31:37,104
"You will notice I have increased
your allowance this year."
430
00:31:38,684 --> 00:31:46,517
"It breaks my heart that I have not
been able to see you all these years,
431
00:31:46,657 --> 00:31:54,080
but Dr. Michel still insists
an ocean voyage could be fatal."
432
00:31:54,211 --> 00:31:56,251
The old crab.
433
00:32:04,845 --> 00:32:11,938
"Your stepfather thought he might
be able to make the trip this year."
434
00:32:13,238 --> 00:32:17,610
You didn't know you had
a stepfather, did you?
435
00:32:19,241 --> 00:32:21,292
Neither did I.
436
00:32:24,503 --> 00:32:30,635
"The young man you wrote about
sounds perfectly divine."
437
00:32:30,755 --> 00:32:39,559
"I hope he loves you
as much as you love him."
438
00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:46,892
And as much as I love you,
439
00:32:48,783 --> 00:32:51,784
my darling.
440
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,321
Herbie, the boat's in. Did you...
441
00:33:09,441 --> 00:33:11,482
Where's your uniform?
442
00:33:11,612 --> 00:33:15,734
You gin-guzzling witch.
On account of you I got the sack.
443
00:33:15,864 --> 00:33:18,955
- Herbie, you can't get fired.
- Can't, eh?
444
00:33:19,075 --> 00:33:22,777
They caught me putting
your lousy letter in my pocket.
445
00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:26,258
- Where is it?
- What am I gonna tell my old lady?
446
00:33:26,378 --> 00:33:31,010
- Where's my letter?
- I don't know. They took it away from me.
447
00:33:33,681 --> 00:33:35,312
Annie.
448
00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:39,063
Annie! You can't go in there! Annie!
449
00:33:46,156 --> 00:33:51,318
You must be in the wrong place, ma'am.
Pedlars aren't allowed.
450
00:34:04,974 --> 00:34:07,145
I beg your pardon.
451
00:34:07,275 --> 00:34:09,766
Oh, my gracious stars.
452
00:34:10,396 --> 00:34:13,237
I have some mail here. A letter?
453
00:34:13,367 --> 00:34:15,368
From Barcelona, Spain?
454
00:34:15,488 --> 00:34:18,619
- A letter?
- It came for me this morning.
455
00:34:18,749 --> 00:34:22,041
Are you stopping here, my good woman?
456
00:34:22,171 --> 00:34:24,001
No, I'm not.
457
00:34:24,131 --> 00:34:27,343
But I do have a letter here. Please.
458
00:34:27,463 --> 00:34:31,304
- What is your name?
- Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
459
00:34:32,135 --> 00:34:34,596
Mrs. E Worthington Manville?
460
00:34:35,936 --> 00:34:37,977
Wait here.
461
00:34:38,107 --> 00:34:39,978
Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
462
00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:04,978
Good afternoon, Mrs. Manville.
Is there anything I can do for you?
463
00:35:05,098 --> 00:35:08,059
There's a letter here for me.
I'd like to get it.
464
00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:11,611
A letter? Addressed
to the Hotel Marberry?
465
00:35:11,741 --> 00:35:13,942
Yes. I told that fella all about it.
466
00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,533
Are you sure you're not mistaken,
my dear lady?
467
00:35:16,663 --> 00:35:21,375
No, I'm not mistaken. I've been
getting my letters here for years.
468
00:35:21,505 --> 00:35:24,836
Madam, you're not a guest
of the Marberry, are you?
469
00:35:24,966 --> 00:35:30,929
- Of course not. Any fool could see that.
- Please, there's no necessity for shouting.
470
00:35:31,059 --> 00:35:37,141
Then why don't you give me my letter?
Why keep asking stupid questions?
471
00:35:37,271 --> 00:35:40,563
Madam, I'm compelled to ask you
to leave these premises.
472
00:35:40,693 --> 00:35:45,034
- No. Not till I get my letter.
- Shall I call the police, Mr. Cole?
473
00:35:45,154 --> 00:35:50,036
Send for the police. I'm no criminal.
I haven't done anything.
474
00:35:51,997 --> 00:35:56,759
Please, mister.
I don't want to make any trouble.
475
00:35:56,879 --> 00:35:59,760
I just want my letter, that's all.
476
00:35:59,890 --> 00:36:03,262
It's from my daughter, see.
477
00:36:03,392 --> 00:36:07,644
It came all the way from Spain. She...
478
00:36:07,774 --> 00:36:10,405
She thinks I'm somebody.
479
00:36:11,575 --> 00:36:13,616
Please?
480
00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:16,577
Lloyd.
481
00:36:17,828 --> 00:36:19,869
Yes, Mr. Cole?
482
00:36:19,999 --> 00:36:22,920
Do you recall a letter
addressed to a Mrs. Manville?
483
00:36:23,050 --> 00:36:26,381
- Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
- E Worthington...
484
00:36:26,511 --> 00:36:28,592
Why, yes. It came this morning.
485
00:36:28,722 --> 00:36:32,184
- You see? I told you.
- Let her have it.
486
00:36:32,304 --> 00:36:34,855
God bless you. God bless you!
487
00:36:34,975 --> 00:36:39,236
- What are you waiting for? Get the letter.
- But I sent it back.
488
00:36:39,356 --> 00:36:43,528
- You sent it back?
- I returned it marked "Party not known".
489
00:36:43,658 --> 00:36:49,251
You can't send it back. She'll find out
that I don't live here. Don't you see?
490
00:36:49,371 --> 00:36:50,871
Shh. Please.
491
00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:54,703
- Has the mail gone out yet?
- Yes. The boy picked it up a twinkle ago.
492
00:36:54,843 --> 00:36:57,054
Look. There he is now.
493
00:36:57,174 --> 00:36:58,454
Boy!
494
00:36:58,594 --> 00:37:00,595
Boy! Yoo-hoo! Stop!
495
00:37:00,725 --> 00:37:03,476
She can't do that in here. Stop her.
496
00:37:03,606 --> 00:37:07,308
Don't put any more letters in that box!
497
00:37:07,438 --> 00:37:08,979
(dog barks)
498
00:37:09,109 --> 00:37:12,200
(manager)
Where do you think you are? Madam!
499
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,201
There it is. I'd know it anywhere.
500
00:37:19,663 --> 00:37:24,005
- Thank you, sir.
- Leave this hotel at once.
501
00:37:24,135 --> 00:37:26,626
Here.
502
00:37:26,756 --> 00:37:28,807
Bless you, sir.
503
00:38:00,850 --> 00:38:03,311
(car horns)
504
00:38:15,496 --> 00:38:17,536
(car horns distorted)
505
00:38:30,062 --> 00:38:32,102
(silence)
506
00:38:33,893 --> 00:38:35,934
(distorted voices)
507
00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:40,486
My letter. Where's my letter?
508
00:38:40,616 --> 00:38:44,537
- Grab my hand.
- Grab her hand. Here we go. Up.
509
00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:47,539
- I'm all right. Let me go.
- There you are.
510
00:38:47,669 --> 00:38:50,540
(woman) Just as I said:
with Prohibition repealed,
511
00:38:50,670 --> 00:38:55,752
you'll see our streets
full of nasty old drunks like that.
512
00:38:58,683 --> 00:39:00,724
(car horns distorted)
513
00:39:07,447 --> 00:39:12,119
Listen, Flyaway. Are you the smartest
agent in town, or you're just a lot of talk?
514
00:39:13,449 --> 00:39:14,950
Your butter I don't need.
515
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,371
You want four bodyguards?
They get 100 a week, I get 100.
516
00:39:18,501 --> 00:39:20,792
- With guns.
- Then I get 200.
517
00:39:20,922 --> 00:39:24,424
- Why you? They got the guns.
- What's guns? I got the permits.
518
00:39:24,554 --> 00:39:29,976
All right. They gotta be from out of town,
dress nice and only shoot in self-defense.
519
00:39:30,096 --> 00:39:32,017
You want four Tom Mixs.
520
00:39:32,147 --> 00:39:35,728
- You don't owe me a favor?
- Do I owe you a movie star?
521
00:39:35,858 --> 00:39:39,530
You were in deep trouble.
I sneaked you out of town in Little Switz.
522
00:39:39,660 --> 00:39:42,951
- What do you want? My wife?
- Which one?
523
00:39:43,661 --> 00:39:46,202
Who do you want protected?
524
00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:49,584
But he can't know nothin' about it.
525
00:39:49,714 --> 00:39:52,175
The boss.
526
00:39:52,295 --> 00:39:56,087
The Dude? I wouldn't do that
for one million dollars!
527
00:39:56,217 --> 00:39:59,218
- Hey, what are you talkin' about?
- The Dude is hot.
528
00:39:59,348 --> 00:40:01,809
I never was here.
Get yourself the marines.
529
00:40:01,939 --> 00:40:04,310
What? Hey, you creep,
where are you goin'?
530
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,521
It was all over town in two minutes.
He insulted a king.
531
00:40:07,651 --> 00:40:10,362
King? What king?
532
00:40:10,492 --> 00:40:13,574
Who remembers faces?
I don't remember...
533
00:40:13,704 --> 00:40:15,534
- Queenie.
- It was open.
534
00:40:15,664 --> 00:40:18,125
- Where's the king of New York?
- Where you been?
535
00:40:18,256 --> 00:40:20,656
The Dude's lookin' for you.
He read Winchell.
536
00:40:20,797 --> 00:40:23,588
Just returning a few items
I won't need any longer.
537
00:40:23,718 --> 00:40:27,639
Two kings of New York, and one needs
a bodyguard? He ain't my client.
538
00:40:27,769 --> 00:40:30,601
- (phone)
- Flyaway, stay here. I gotta talk to you.
539
00:40:30,731 --> 00:40:33,302
Hey, Flyaway, there's a 10G bonus.
540
00:40:33,442 --> 00:40:34,442
Hello.
541
00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:36,483
Junior, what do you want?
542
00:40:36,613 --> 00:40:40,735
I am here with two representatives
of our out-of-town friend, Mr. Bigelow.
543
00:40:40,865 --> 00:40:43,906
- Bigelow? What Bigelow?
- The Chicago Big... elow.
544
00:40:44,036 --> 00:40:46,957
He wants to see the boss right away
to negotiate a deal.
545
00:40:47,087 --> 00:40:50,709
Holy cow. The deal is still on
and the Dude ain't here.
546
00:40:50,839 --> 00:40:54,970
Look, Junior, you gotta stall 'em,
because I gotta think in my head.
547
00:40:55,090 --> 00:40:58,432
Tell him to hurry up.
Mr. B has a touch of mal de mer.
548
00:40:58,562 --> 00:41:00,063
Mal de what?
549
00:41:00,183 --> 00:41:02,023
Oh, you mean seasickness.
550
00:41:02,143 --> 00:41:07,606
Just get the car and come right over.
Wait a minute. He's gonna need an apple.
551
00:41:07,736 --> 00:41:12,658
Stop off at Schubert Alley, get the bag and
her apples. Don't stop to play stickball.
552
00:41:14,288 --> 00:41:18,210
- You. There you are.
- Hey, Dude. The man's on the phone.
553
00:41:18,340 --> 00:41:21,591
The man wants to negotiate a deal!
554
00:41:21,711 --> 00:41:25,223
- Is this true, what I read in Winchell's?
- I suppose you can read.
555
00:41:25,343 --> 00:41:29,765
Why, you two-timing dame. Are you
leaving me for that cafeteria clown?
556
00:41:29,895 --> 00:41:31,565
Yeah. The wedding's Saturday.
557
00:41:31,685 --> 00:41:34,436
You two-timing dame.
You ain't even been one-timed!
558
00:41:34,567 --> 00:41:37,488
You ain't walking out on me
after what I did for you.
559
00:41:37,608 --> 00:41:40,699
I took you from nothing
and made you into something.
560
00:41:40,829 --> 00:41:44,040
So I could become a gangster's
flashy moll? Not me, mister!
561
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,712
You ain't walking out on me. You hear me,
Queenie? I'm Dave the Dude.
562
00:41:48,832 --> 00:41:51,383
I'm not walking. I'm running!
563
00:41:54,054 --> 00:41:57,056
Now you listen to me, Queenie. Watch it!
564
00:41:57,186 --> 00:41:59,757
- You!
- Watch it, Queenie.
565
00:41:59,897 --> 00:42:03,818
- What are they doing?
- Playing house. What, are you still here?
566
00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:07,810
- The bodyguards. I just thought of four...
- Look, I'm a busy man.
567
00:42:07,950 --> 00:42:10,781
What's the matter with you?
Take a walk! Out!
568
00:42:10,911 --> 00:42:12,952
(smashing glass)
569
00:42:20,335 --> 00:42:22,386
Flyaway!
570
00:42:25,177 --> 00:42:27,218
No, you're not going out that door.
571
00:42:27,348 --> 00:42:30,889
You owe me one thing, Queenie,
and I'm gonna collect.
572
00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:35,691
You ain't leaving here
with that halo still on your head.
573
00:42:35,821 --> 00:42:37,862
(Queenie squeals)
574
00:42:48,086 --> 00:42:52,878
This place is like the inside
of a goat's stomach. Hey, Dave? Dave?
575
00:42:53,008 --> 00:42:59,601
Hey, Dave. Look, I don't wanna butt in.
Excuse me for interruptin', Dave, but...
576
00:43:00,231 --> 00:43:03,063
- Dave...
- Man, you have the worst sense of timing.
577
00:43:03,193 --> 00:43:05,564
I hate to interrupt,
578
00:43:05,694 --> 00:43:10,245
- but I just got a message from Junior.
- From Darcey? What did he say?
579
00:43:10,366 --> 00:43:13,077
- Get me a pair of pants.
- Change your own diaper!
580
00:43:13,207 --> 00:43:17,879
I said pants me! And fix yourself up.
Make yourself decent. What'd he say?
581
00:43:18,009 --> 00:43:20,460
In front of her?
She's marrying JP Cafeteria.
582
00:43:20,590 --> 00:43:24,051
I don't care if she marries J Edgar Hoover.
Now what did he say?
583
00:43:24,181 --> 00:43:31,434
Dave, I could hardly believe it, but Darcey
wants to meet with you again, right away.
584
00:43:31,564 --> 00:43:35,266
- Didn't I tell you he'd come around?
- Yeah, that he'd come around.
585
00:43:35,406 --> 00:43:39,527
Look, this is worth millions. Let's not
blow the whole cake to win a little crumb.
586
00:43:39,657 --> 00:43:41,498
Will you stop worrying?
587
00:43:41,618 --> 00:43:46,630
- Others pay him. Why should he pay you?
- I'm Dave the Dude, not one of the others.
588
00:43:46,750 --> 00:43:48,791
- Now go get Annie.
- Yeah, go get Annie.
589
00:43:48,921 --> 00:43:52,793
That's all taken care of.
Junior's bringing her over right now.
590
00:43:56,304 --> 00:43:59,976
- (car hoots)
- Why don't you look where you're going?
591
00:44:00,106 --> 00:44:02,147
(hooting)
592
00:44:02,277 --> 00:44:04,317
(phone)
593
00:44:04,778 --> 00:44:06,608
Yeah.
594
00:44:06,738 --> 00:44:09,490
- We're on our way.
- You're keepin' Darcey waitin'.
595
00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:12,451
- So let him wait.
- You can't. The man is king.
596
00:44:12,581 --> 00:44:15,872
The king loses face, our heads
go on display in the marketplace.
597
00:44:16,002 --> 00:44:19,083
You've been reading books again.
Where the hell is Annie?
598
00:44:19,214 --> 00:44:20,884
Annie. Annie!
599
00:44:21,004 --> 00:44:23,055
Big shots. Big dopes!
600
00:44:23,175 --> 00:44:26,807
Your life depends on a beggar's apples,
and this superstitious heel...
601
00:44:26,937 --> 00:44:30,148
- Are you still here?
- You'll wind up in the federal pen.
602
00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:32,899
Or swimming with your feet
in cement, like Papa.
603
00:44:33,029 --> 00:44:37,321
- That's why I'm marrying Howard Porter.
- Don't keep the groom waiting.
604
00:44:37,451 --> 00:44:39,822
- Not another minute!
- Get back in there.
605
00:44:39,952 --> 00:44:41,953
- If I could only cry!
- Queenie!
606
00:44:44,124 --> 00:44:48,716
Dude, I can't find Apple Annie anywhere.
She ain't nowhere, I'm telling you.
607
00:44:48,836 --> 00:44:50,796
I hope she croaks!
608
00:44:50,926 --> 00:44:53,387
What do you mean,
you can't find her anywhere?
609
00:44:53,517 --> 00:44:57,099
All you gotta do is ask
any panhandler on Broadway.
610
00:44:57,229 --> 00:45:00,190
- There ain't no panhandlers on Broadway.
- What?
611
00:45:00,310 --> 00:45:02,191
There ain't a beggar on the street.
612
00:45:02,361 --> 00:45:06,063
It's scary. It's like Broadway was naked.
I'm ashamed to look at it.
613
00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,324
(Smiley) Hi, Mr. Dude, fellas.
614
00:45:09,454 --> 00:45:13,706
Well, the Easter Parade's
a little early this year.
615
00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:18,167
- No panhandlers on Broadway, huh?
- I didn't see 'em before, boss.
616
00:45:18,298 --> 00:45:20,709
- I should drop dead...
- Maybe you should.
617
00:45:20,839 --> 00:45:22,509
It's only an expression.
618
00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:25,560
- Any of you crumbs seen Apple Annie?
- Yeah, I saw her.
619
00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,721
One at a time. You.
620
00:45:27,851 --> 00:45:29,892
- It's about Annie.
- What about Annie?
621
00:45:30,022 --> 00:45:32,593
- She's in a pickle.
- Pickled. I can believe that.
622
00:45:32,733 --> 00:45:36,235
Mallethead saw her on the waterfront,
in the water looking.
623
00:45:36,365 --> 00:45:38,936
She was stumblin' along, talkin' to herself.
624
00:45:39,076 --> 00:45:41,457
She was sobbing.
It's good I ran into her.
625
00:45:41,577 --> 00:45:45,208
- So she got a package on.
- It's worse than bein' swacked.
626
00:45:45,339 --> 00:45:48,210
She was swiping stationery
from the Marberry Hotel.
627
00:45:48,340 --> 00:45:52,882
- And writin' letters to her daughter.
- Daughter? That old bag?
628
00:45:53,012 --> 00:45:55,012
(Dude) She's a woman, ain't she?
629
00:45:55,143 --> 00:45:58,814
- What's this about a daughter?
- Annie's got a daughter in Spain.
630
00:45:58,934 --> 00:46:01,485
Raised in a convent since she was a baby.
631
00:46:01,605 --> 00:46:06,487
- She's comin' to visit, bringing a count.
- She's gonna marry a count or somethin'.
632
00:46:06,617 --> 00:46:10,449
- What is this, a rib?
- Annie sends her money every month.
633
00:46:10,579 --> 00:46:13,500
And we've been lettin' her
shake us down cos we knew.
634
00:46:13,630 --> 00:46:16,381
We all are godfathers.
We all got a piece of the kid.
635
00:46:16,501 --> 00:46:20,013
We figure you're a godfather too.
You got the biggest piece.
636
00:46:20,133 --> 00:46:24,384
- Me?
- You give Annie big tips for her apples.
637
00:46:24,514 --> 00:46:29,597
- It's why her apples were lucky for you.
- We got a business appointment to keep.
638
00:46:29,737 --> 00:46:32,688
- You keep it. Just stall 'em.
- How am I gonna stall 'em?
639
00:46:32,818 --> 00:46:36,609
I'll be along as soon as I get my apple.
Now move it. Move it.
640
00:46:36,739 --> 00:46:39,320
- Where is Annie?
- At her flop. I'll show you.
641
00:46:39,451 --> 00:46:43,542
- Come on, Queenie. She may be sick.
- Not me. I got a date with Howard Porter.
642
00:46:43,672 --> 00:46:45,713
Never mind Howard Porter. I need you.
643
00:46:45,833 --> 00:46:48,754
Maybe Annie needs you too,
the way your old lady did.
644
00:46:48,884 --> 00:46:50,925
- Now, just a minute.
- Move it.
645
00:46:51,055 --> 00:46:55,007
No panhandlers on Broadway! Keep
your mind off that dizzy blonde of yours.
646
00:46:55,147 --> 00:46:59,519
I don't think about her
during the daytime, boss.
647
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:09,413
(drunkenly) Well, if it isn't my dear friend
Dave the Dude and his charming broad.
648
00:47:09,543 --> 00:47:13,374
She's just bagged again. Annie,
you had me worried. Where's the bottle?
649
00:47:13,504 --> 00:47:16,676
So nice of you to come.
The butler will take your things.
650
00:47:16,796 --> 00:47:19,927
Lovely estate you have here,
Lady Chatterley.
651
00:47:20,057 --> 00:47:26,270
It's nothing, really. Just something
I keep for the hunting season.
652
00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:30,651
Everybody's coming down
for the hunting season, don't you know.
653
00:47:30,771 --> 00:47:32,822
The flea hunt, isn't it?
654
00:47:36,704 --> 00:47:39,245
What are you trying to do?
Knock yourself off?
655
00:47:39,375 --> 00:47:41,916
Doc Michel told you
this paint'll poison you.
656
00:47:42,046 --> 00:47:46,168
Dude, look.
The old lady's had her moments.
657
00:47:49,429 --> 00:47:54,141
This on the emmis?
You really got yourself a kid?
658
00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:57,932
Don't sit there slobbering.
Answer me. Is this your kid?
659
00:47:58,063 --> 00:48:00,744
- No.
- Those crumbs, taking me for a sucker.
660
00:48:00,864 --> 00:48:03,325
- (glass smashes)
- Oh!
661
00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:07,196
- My baby!
- All right, Annie. Stand up. It's all right.
662
00:48:07,326 --> 00:48:10,007
Dude knows all about it.
He's a godfather too.
663
00:48:10,127 --> 00:48:12,799
I don't want you
casing the waterfront again.
664
00:48:12,919 --> 00:48:17,050
I was born in a place like this and I don't
wanna come back. That's why I need you.
665
00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:20,592
What's all this malarkey about a kid?
666
00:48:26,524 --> 00:48:33,107
She's coming over with a count.
She's going to marry his son.
667
00:48:33,237 --> 00:48:35,488
Royalty.
668
00:48:35,618 --> 00:48:38,659
They're coming over to meet me.
669
00:48:39,749 --> 00:48:41,790
Me.
670
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:49,663
Wait till they get a load of Apple Annie.
That'll be a laugh. Eh, Dude?
671
00:48:49,804 --> 00:48:55,976
Wait till they meet
her crummy old lady. Eh, Queenie?
672
00:48:56,106 --> 00:48:59,528
And see this dump.
673
00:49:00,948 --> 00:49:05,070
Annie, you can't do this. Come on now,
you old souse. Get up out of there.
674
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,701
Take it easy. She's an old souse
maybe, but she's full of dreams.
675
00:49:08,831 --> 00:49:14,374
- She's full of gin. Where are the apples?
- Here are your lousy apples.
676
00:49:14,504 --> 00:49:19,095
Old fool, getting herself in a jam like this.
677
00:49:22,807 --> 00:49:24,478
Now come on, let's go.
678
00:49:24,608 --> 00:49:27,899
You're acting like Darcey already.
You can't leave her.
679
00:49:28,029 --> 00:49:31,320
You want me to tuck her in bed?
Sing her a lullaby? Come on.
680
00:49:31,450 --> 00:49:35,282
And her daughter? By the time
she gets here, she'll be in a psycho ward.
681
00:49:35,412 --> 00:49:40,294
She'll sleep it off. She'll be all right in
the morning. I'll send Dr. Michel. Come on.
682
00:49:49,138 --> 00:49:54,300
What am I going to do, Queenie?
What am I going to do?
683
00:49:55,730 --> 00:50:01,363
Poor creep. Some Dude must've
gotten in your blood once too.
684
00:50:01,493 --> 00:50:04,784
(Dude) Come on, Queenie!
I'm way past post time.
685
00:50:04,914 --> 00:50:09,326
I got troubles, Annie, but boy, you...
you need a miracle.
686
00:50:09,456 --> 00:50:11,837
What am I going to do?
687
00:50:12,967 --> 00:50:15,218
(Smiley)
What are you gonna do, Mr. Dude?
688
00:50:15,338 --> 00:50:17,799
- About what?
- About Miss Annie.
689
00:50:17,929 --> 00:50:23,061
- What do you expect me to do?
- You could get her into the Marberry.
690
00:50:23,182 --> 00:50:26,853
Apple Annie in the Marberry?
You're crazy.
691
00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:30,314
- Just for a week.
- Now listen, Mr. Dude.
692
00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:34,536
We already took up a collection, we did.
693
00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:37,787
We all chipped in 65 bucks to get her in.
694
00:50:38,918 --> 00:50:42,289
You did? Well, 65 bucks is a tip
at the Marberry. You're all bats.
695
00:50:42,419 --> 00:50:45,381
- What about your playboy friend?
- Rodney Kent.
696
00:50:45,511 --> 00:50:49,722
- He's got a penthouse at the Marberry.
- You keep out of this. Move it, Junior.
697
00:50:49,852 --> 00:50:52,423
Annie at the Marberry... I said move it!
698
00:50:58,566 --> 00:51:02,157
His luck is gonna turn awful bad.
699
00:51:03,948 --> 00:51:06,409
Apple, be lucky today.
700
00:51:06,539 --> 00:51:11,461
All you little people in there,
you start workin' real hard.
701
00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:15,923
All right. When you get home,
call Doc Michel to see Annie.
702
00:51:16,053 --> 00:51:19,474
She'll be all right.
She's on a bender, that's all.
703
00:51:19,594 --> 00:51:23,466
Hmm? Ain't it a fact?
You've seen her swacked before.
704
00:51:23,606 --> 00:51:28,028
What the hell do I care?
I got what I want: the city of New York.
705
00:51:28,148 --> 00:51:32,280
This great big town and those heels that
pushed me around, it's all mine now,
706
00:51:32,410 --> 00:51:35,411
stretched right out on a silver platter.
707
00:51:35,541 --> 00:51:38,332
Cos Darcey's come around to my way.
708
00:51:38,462 --> 00:51:42,794
What do I need
that old apple souse for anyhow?
709
00:51:42,924 --> 00:51:46,796
You know, they say luck is superstition.
710
00:51:46,926 --> 00:51:50,097
Nah, it ain't superstition at all.
You know what it is?
711
00:51:50,227 --> 00:51:54,519
Luck is an art. An art I got.
712
00:51:54,649 --> 00:51:59,111
So I lose the old lady
and her apples. So what?
713
00:52:00,901 --> 00:52:04,323
Apple Annie at the Marberry Hotel?
714
00:52:06,914 --> 00:52:10,005
What do you expect me to do,
for cryin' out loud?
715
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,166
(clears throat)
716
00:52:12,716 --> 00:52:15,257
Look, will you say something?
717
00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,769
Look, will you say something?
718
00:52:27,572 --> 00:52:31,994
OK, Mr. Big Shot.
Now keep your date with Darcey.
719
00:52:42,048 --> 00:52:44,089
And no more gin, huh?
720
00:52:46,010 --> 00:52:49,511
Hey, boss. These rich guys
use chequers with horses on 'em.
721
00:52:49,641 --> 00:52:51,472
Put that down!
722
00:52:51,602 --> 00:52:53,983
I oughta have my head shrunk,
doing this.
723
00:52:54,103 --> 00:52:58,025
You at the Marberry! Why didn't you
swipe stationery from the White House?
724
00:52:58,155 --> 00:53:01,446
You could've said
you were Eleanor Roosevelt.
725
00:53:07,038 --> 00:53:10,710
- Whom did you wish to see, sir?
- Is this here Rodney Kent's igloo?
726
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:16,132
This is Mr. Kent's penthouse, yes,
but unfortunately Mr. Kent is in Havana.
727
00:53:16,262 --> 00:53:20,684
He is? Well, where'd you get the idea
that I give a hang where he is?
728
00:53:20,814 --> 00:53:24,065
- I just assumed...
- Come over here.
729
00:53:24,185 --> 00:53:27,276
I'm gonna tell you something
that'll make you wet all over.
730
00:53:27,406 --> 00:53:28,987
Really?
731
00:53:29,117 --> 00:53:32,489
I don't care anything about Rodney Kent.
732
00:53:32,619 --> 00:53:34,659
I'm lookin' for Dave the Dude.
733
00:53:34,789 --> 00:53:37,250
- Who is that?
- He's here, ain't he?
734
00:53:37,371 --> 00:53:39,421
Well... yes.
735
00:53:40,422 --> 00:53:47,265
Well, what are you standin' there for,
growin' in the carpet? Take me to him.
736
00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:51,616
Wait here, will you, please?
737
00:53:51,726 --> 00:53:53,767
There is no carpet.
738
00:53:57,609 --> 00:54:01,030
Sir? A gentleman. Rather primitive.
739
00:54:03,291 --> 00:54:05,862
You tryin' to make me crazy?
What's goin' on?
740
00:54:06,002 --> 00:54:08,493
Come here, come here.
741
00:54:08,623 --> 00:54:11,084
- Where you been?
- Where have I been?
742
00:54:11,214 --> 00:54:14,886
- I've had to do everything myself.
- I've been through a meat grinder.
743
00:54:15,016 --> 00:54:17,767
For 24 hours I've been locked up
in Little Switz
744
00:54:17,887 --> 00:54:21,558
listening to that seasick gorilla.
I'm alibiing like crazy.
745
00:54:21,689 --> 00:54:24,980
- What are you alibiing for?
- For you, for not showing up.
746
00:54:25,110 --> 00:54:28,071
So I didn't show up.
How'd you leave the big man, hm?
747
00:54:28,201 --> 00:54:30,822
- Headfirst and landed in the gutter.
- Good.
748
00:54:30,952 --> 00:54:35,874
Says he won't talk to messenger boys.
Says he barbecues them.
749
00:54:35,994 --> 00:54:39,946
- Used the blowtorch, eh?
- Says next time I'll be inside the shirt.
750
00:54:40,086 --> 00:54:44,428
Bluffing, Joy Boy. That's his psychology.
Pay no attention to him.
751
00:54:44,548 --> 00:54:49,350
- What's this?
- Meet the new queen of society.
752
00:54:49,980 --> 00:54:52,811
This is Annie, the Duchess of Apples.
753
00:54:52,941 --> 00:54:55,692
What's your daughter doing in Spain?
754
00:54:55,822 --> 00:54:57,863
Who's her father?
755
00:55:02,245 --> 00:55:05,666
Aw, boss, that ain't a polite question
to ask a dame like Annie.
756
00:55:05,786 --> 00:55:10,628
Wait a minute. You tellin' me Rodney Kent
gave you his apartment for this owl?
757
00:55:10,758 --> 00:55:14,260
Yeah. He's a bigger sucker than I am.
He even threw in the butler.
758
00:55:14,390 --> 00:55:19,392
Not against my will, sir. I love
Cinderella stories. Don't you, sir?
759
00:55:19,522 --> 00:55:21,563
Take a walk, huh?
760
00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:27,775
- Junior, what happened to Queenie?
- I don't know.
761
00:55:27,905 --> 00:55:31,907
Dave, you gotta forget all this.
You gotta meet with Darcey.
762
00:55:32,037 --> 00:55:35,579
That's the deal of a lifetime.
That's our living. What is all this?
763
00:55:35,709 --> 00:55:38,120
I don't know.
And I don't want you to tell me.
764
00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:42,671
But what are you? A boy scout?
Are you a tambourine shaker?
765
00:55:42,802 --> 00:55:48,044
A million do-gooders are standin' in line
to help the hardly-ables like Apple Annie.
766
00:55:48,184 --> 00:55:50,725
Stay in there and pitch, sister.
767
00:55:50,855 --> 00:55:54,236
You see, you're Dave the Dude,
not Little Boy Blue.
768
00:55:54,356 --> 00:55:57,528
What are you talking about?
Little Boy Blue? Come here.
769
00:55:57,658 --> 00:56:01,199
- Ain't she always been lucky for me, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
770
00:56:01,329 --> 00:56:05,461
If I don't help her out of this jam,
how long d'you think my luck would last?
771
00:56:05,581 --> 00:56:10,213
You wanna help her? Help her. But you
can't palm that crocodile off as society.
772
00:56:10,343 --> 00:56:13,024
She couldn't fool
a pedigree cocker spaniel.
773
00:56:13,134 --> 00:56:17,636
- (Dude) We'd have to clean her up some.
- Some? Look at her.
774
00:56:17,766 --> 00:56:20,477
A ragpicker wouldn't
stick his hook into her.
775
00:56:20,607 --> 00:56:22,858
(door opens)
776
00:56:22,978 --> 00:56:25,279
Well, here they are. The miracle workers.
777
00:56:25,399 --> 00:56:29,160
Here's my maid, manicurist,
hairdresser, chiropodist, masseuse,
778
00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:33,832
and the pièce de résistance, Pierre
of the Saxon Plaza. Pierre the divine.
779
00:56:33,952 --> 00:56:36,123
- Take a bow, toots.
- Madame.
780
00:56:36,253 --> 00:56:38,464
All right, gang. Here's your challenge.
781
00:56:38,584 --> 00:56:42,286
Come on, Annie.
Stand up and meet your makers.
782
00:56:42,426 --> 00:56:46,127
This has got to be a complete overhaul,
kids, from top to bottom.
783
00:56:46,267 --> 00:56:49,479
- Don't forget a new set of kidneys.
- Let's go, Annie.
784
00:56:49,599 --> 00:56:52,060
Come on, wizards. Let's wiz.
785
00:56:58,072 --> 00:57:01,944
My old lady always said you can't make
a pig's ear out of an old sow.
786
00:57:02,084 --> 00:57:05,915
Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre.
787
00:57:06,045 --> 00:57:07,706
Huh!
788
00:57:09,837 --> 00:57:13,708
- Wait a minute. He can't go in there.
- Oh, that's all right.
789
00:57:13,849 --> 00:57:16,930
Believe me, fellas, it's all right.
790
00:57:22,612 --> 00:57:24,113
(door opens)
791
00:57:28,074 --> 00:57:30,325
(butler hums cheerfully)
792
00:57:36,758 --> 00:57:41,130
- Hey, boss, you payin' for all of this?
- Fun, eh?
793
00:57:41,260 --> 00:57:45,681
Let's see if we can get it back from
the bookies. What's running at Hialeah?
794
00:57:45,812 --> 00:57:49,893
- Here's the morning lineup.
- Thanks. Read 'em off to me.
795
00:57:50,023 --> 00:57:53,105
People! Go figure them.
796
00:57:53,235 --> 00:57:56,486
- Scratch 5, 7 and 12.
- Right.
797
00:57:57,986 --> 00:57:59,657
(snoring)
798
00:58:01,958 --> 00:58:03,999
(snoring)
799
00:58:15,354 --> 00:58:19,135
It's important that these apples
are kept here all the time.
800
00:58:19,275 --> 00:58:21,106
- What's your handle?
- Pardon?
801
00:58:21,236 --> 00:58:24,527
- Your name.
- It's Hutchings, sir. Hutchings. With a g.
802
00:58:24,657 --> 00:58:29,199
OK, Hutch. This oughta take care of the
help for a while. Split it up amongst them.
803
00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:32,330
- They know to keep their mouths shut?
- And their ears.
804
00:58:32,461 --> 00:58:36,122
- Told 'em what'd happen if they didn't?
- Yes, sir. (imitates machine gun)
805
00:58:36,252 --> 00:58:39,503
- Don't do that, please.
- (door opens)
806
00:58:39,633 --> 00:58:41,674
(snoring)
807
00:58:54,239 --> 00:58:57,861
(woman) Oh, my feet.
I never wanna see shoes again.
808
00:58:57,991 --> 00:59:00,032
(muttering)
809
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,731
(imitates fanfare)
810
00:59:22,861 --> 00:59:28,703
Gentlemen, may I present
Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
811
00:59:30,204 --> 00:59:35,366
(# "March" from "The Nutcracker Suite"by Tchaikovsky)
812
01:00:03,087 --> 01:00:06,669
She's like a cockroach
what turned into a butterfly!
813
01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,131
Dude,
814
01:00:11,261 --> 01:00:13,722
I'll never forget this.
815
01:00:15,392 --> 01:00:17,433
Never.
816
01:00:17,563 --> 01:00:19,274
God bless you.
817
01:00:25,196 --> 01:00:29,118
Well... You... You could've fooled anybody.
818
01:00:37,922 --> 01:00:43,724
Well, you're gonna need a little
walking-around money, so...
819
01:00:43,854 --> 01:00:45,895
here you go.
820
01:00:49,106 --> 01:00:52,237
I guess everything's all set now, huh?
821
01:00:53,568 --> 01:00:56,029
Good luck, Annie.
822
01:00:56,159 --> 01:00:58,330
Joy Boy, Junior, come on.
823
01:01:01,541 --> 01:01:05,673
- How do we contact Little Switz?
- They call your apartment every hour.
824
01:01:05,793 --> 01:01:08,424
- We make the next call.
- Hey!
825
01:01:08,554 --> 01:01:12,095
- Where do you think you're going?
- I did what you wanted, didn't I?
826
01:01:12,225 --> 01:01:16,307
I postponed my wedding a week because
you asked me to make a lady out of her.
827
01:01:16,437 --> 01:01:20,569
Don't think you can run off and leave me
holding the bag. No offence, Annie.
828
01:01:20,689 --> 01:01:23,780
Look, woman, the Dude
has gotta make some bread.
829
01:01:23,910 --> 01:01:27,202
If I can stall my wedding,
he can stall his short cut to Sing Sing.
830
01:01:27,332 --> 01:01:30,123
For Pete's sakes, Queenie,
what else do you want?
831
01:01:30,253 --> 01:01:35,045
I don't want anything. But what about
the husband she's supposed to have?
832
01:01:35,175 --> 01:01:38,046
- Husband?
- That's a man who marries a woman.
833
01:01:38,176 --> 01:01:40,587
- Whose husband?
- Annie's!
834
01:01:40,717 --> 01:01:45,769
The Honorable E Worthington
Shmerthington! Who's gonna dig him up?
835
01:01:45,899 --> 01:01:47,520
Dude?
836
01:01:47,650 --> 01:01:49,481
Louise...
837
01:01:49,611 --> 01:01:51,231
my daughter...
838
01:01:51,361 --> 01:01:54,863
does expect a stepfather.
839
01:01:54,993 --> 01:01:57,034
Well... go get her one.
840
01:01:57,164 --> 01:02:01,165
- Can't you do anything yourself?
- Who's she gonna get?
841
01:02:01,295 --> 01:02:05,247
- Shimkey, the blind man? Or Smiley?
- You find her one.
842
01:02:05,377 --> 01:02:08,128
You're the one who needs her,
Mr. Big, not me.
843
01:02:08,258 --> 01:02:11,350
I got cafeterias. I don't need apples.
844
01:02:11,470 --> 01:02:15,521
The Dude's whole future depends upon
this deal. Can you get off his back?
845
01:02:15,641 --> 01:02:19,343
His whole future depends on Annie,
and don't you forget it, frog-face.
846
01:02:19,483 --> 01:02:22,324
- You're a troublemaker.
- You're a selfish schtoonk!
847
01:02:22,444 --> 01:02:28,537
All right, all right, all right!
I'll find her a... a husband.
848
01:02:28,667 --> 01:02:33,829
This is beautiful. All right, Joy Boy, go
tell Darcey that the Dude ain't available
849
01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:38,471
cos he's diggin' up a husband for some
old souse cos he's nuts about her apples.
850
01:02:38,591 --> 01:02:42,972
Where am I gonna find a husband?
851
01:02:48,235 --> 01:02:51,656
Where am I gonna find a husband?
In Macy's basement?
852
01:02:51,776 --> 01:02:54,457
They don't sell 'em there, boss.
853
01:02:54,577 --> 01:02:56,618
(Joy Boy groans)
854
01:03:05,301 --> 01:03:07,462
Yeah.
855
01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,014
Me?
856
01:03:11,144 --> 01:03:12,724
You.
857
01:03:12,855 --> 01:03:15,936
I think he'd be just precious!
858
01:03:16,066 --> 01:03:18,687
Oh, that would be a great idea.
859
01:03:18,817 --> 01:03:21,648
There's only one problem.
860
01:03:21,778 --> 01:03:24,699
I got a wife that's very fussy.
861
01:03:24,829 --> 01:03:28,831
She don't like for me
to go around marryin' people!
862
01:03:28,961 --> 01:03:32,503
Now, I know that might sound
very selfish to you,
863
01:03:32,633 --> 01:03:36,294
but she's very funny that way.
864
01:03:37,465 --> 01:03:40,386
I know his wife. He's right.
She's a selfish buffalo.
865
01:03:40,516 --> 01:03:43,227
- Dude?
- What?
866
01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:45,688
I got an idea.
867
01:03:45,818 --> 01:03:47,479
What?
868
01:03:47,609 --> 01:03:52,070
I know one real gentleman
I'm sure we can trust.
869
01:03:52,201 --> 01:03:55,072
We? Oh, now we're all partners!
870
01:03:55,202 --> 01:03:57,243
You know Judge Blake?
871
01:03:58,833 --> 01:04:02,415
Judge Henry G Blake. That's our man.
872
01:04:03,045 --> 01:04:04,876
When did you ever trust a judge?
873
01:04:05,006 --> 01:04:10,428
For a proposition like this
we need a guy with class, with dignity,
874
01:04:10,558 --> 01:04:14,099
a gentleman of the old school, and...
875
01:04:14,230 --> 01:04:15,650
a thief.
876
01:04:17,021 --> 01:04:21,482
Judge Blake, the guy that told you you
could shoot pool was yankin' your ankle.
877
01:04:22,283 --> 01:04:23,783
Sucker's ready to bite.
878
01:04:23,913 --> 01:04:28,075
Up in Providence, where I'm out of,
an amateur like you would lose his pants.
879
01:04:28,205 --> 01:04:33,047
An excellent argument
for never visiting Providence.
880
01:04:33,167 --> 01:04:37,549
I hate to do this to you, Judge,
but I got a reputation to keep up.
881
01:04:37,679 --> 01:04:39,720
- And that does it.
- Astonishing!
882
01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:41,891
Willie Hoppe couldn't do better.
883
01:04:42,021 --> 01:04:44,182
You pool-hall poltroons.
884
01:04:44,312 --> 01:04:49,814
Once again you lured me into a game with
a master, solely for your own amusement.
885
01:04:49,944 --> 01:04:55,866
- You're just warmin' up. Another game?
- I came here to slay a somber afternoon,
886
01:04:55,996 --> 01:04:59,998
not to be made sport of
by Pecksniffian oafs.
887
01:05:00,128 --> 01:05:03,209
Aw, go on, Judge. It's only a nickel a ball.
888
01:05:03,339 --> 01:05:05,881
What do you say
we double the bet one time?
889
01:05:06,011 --> 01:05:09,182
Ten cents a ball?
Why, that's a veritable fortune.
890
01:05:09,302 --> 01:05:11,353
- Afraid, huh, Judge?
- Afraid?
891
01:05:11,473 --> 01:05:16,435
- I'll make it 50 cents a ball.
- OK. You got yourself a deal.
892
01:05:16,565 --> 01:05:18,606
Attendant, rack 'em up.
893
01:05:18,736 --> 01:05:20,777
(laughter)
894
01:05:23,828 --> 01:05:25,869
Hey, Judge.
895
01:05:28,210 --> 01:05:34,052
If you will excuse me, while you break,
I'll have a word with an associate justice.
896
01:05:34,172 --> 01:05:39,594
Greetings, my intellectual giant. What
brings you down to Kew in lilac-time?
897
01:05:39,724 --> 01:05:42,015
The Dude wants to see you.
898
01:05:42,145 --> 01:05:45,687
Your master's timing
is most regrettable, my dear Junior.
899
01:05:45,817 --> 01:05:49,688
- I have a plump pigeon in my sights.
- Huh?
900
01:05:49,818 --> 01:05:54,200
Within the hour Providence is going to
provide next month's room rent.
901
01:05:54,700 --> 01:06:00,293
- Come on, Your Honor. It's your shot.
- By your leave, sir. My pigeon is cooing.
902
01:06:00,423 --> 01:06:02,133
A little shaky, huh, Judge?
903
01:06:02,253 --> 01:06:06,755
My boy, the impatient blade
is about to descend...
904
01:06:06,885 --> 01:06:08,926
on your red hick's neck.
905
01:06:11,687 --> 01:06:13,728
- Oho!
- (laughter)
906
01:06:17,530 --> 01:06:19,570
- Oho!
- (laughter)
907
01:06:21,871 --> 01:06:23,702
That was the bedroom.
908
01:06:23,832 --> 01:06:26,503
Over here, that's the billiard room.
909
01:06:26,623 --> 01:06:28,544
Down here's the guest rooms.
910
01:06:28,664 --> 01:06:32,086
- Pretty classy layout, huh, Judge?
- Lovely, lovely.
911
01:06:32,216 --> 01:06:35,797
The beauty of the Taj Mahal,
the serenity of Melrose Abbey.
912
01:06:36,307 --> 01:06:39,018
Sir, "If thou wouldst view
fair Melrose aright..."
913
01:06:39,138 --> 01:06:41,679
"Go visit it by the pale moonlight."
914
01:06:41,810 --> 01:06:47,232
"For the gay beams of lightsome day
Gild, but to flout, the ruins grey."
915
01:06:47,362 --> 01:06:49,733
- Oh, my!
- To Scott.
916
01:06:50,823 --> 01:06:52,864
- He'll do.
- Yeah.
917
01:06:55,495 --> 01:06:58,997
Judge, think you could force yourself
to shack up here for a week?
918
01:06:59,127 --> 01:07:01,167
- Is he for real?
- He comes with the coop.
919
01:07:01,297 --> 01:07:05,759
If this is a deal, you get yourself
a new set of rags and 100 clams.
920
01:07:05,889 --> 01:07:10,601
What do you expect from me for all this
opulence? I'm a poor hand at violence.
921
01:07:10,731 --> 01:07:13,943
You're a lock for this gag.
All you gotta do is be a husband.
922
01:07:14,063 --> 01:07:17,984
A husband? Impossible.
I'm twice a widower now,
923
01:07:18,114 --> 01:07:21,406
thanks to my fleetness of foot
and the grace of distance.
924
01:07:21,536 --> 01:07:25,317
No, you don't have to marry the dame.
Just be a husband for one week.
925
01:07:25,457 --> 01:07:27,868
Queenie! Come here a minute, will you?
926
01:07:27,998 --> 01:07:31,090
Judge, you've heard of
Queenie Martin, haven't you?
927
01:07:31,210 --> 01:07:33,971
My cup runneth over.
928
01:07:34,091 --> 01:07:36,882
Queenie, meet the judge.
929
01:07:37,012 --> 01:07:39,553
I told you I'd find you a good husband.
930
01:07:39,683 --> 01:07:41,724
Madam, this is a great honor,
931
01:07:41,854 --> 01:07:43,895
a rare experience,
932
01:07:44,025 --> 01:07:46,736
and a pulsating pleasure.
933
01:07:46,866 --> 01:07:48,607
Oh, Your Honor.
934
01:07:48,737 --> 01:07:51,738
Yeah. With a new set of clothes
he'll just make it fine.
935
01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:58,081
Thank you. I'll do my best. But at my age
the libido is most unpredictable.
936
01:07:58,211 --> 01:08:00,251
Don't worry about that.
937
01:08:01,422 --> 01:08:04,133
- What'd you say?
- Your humble servant, madam.
938
01:08:04,263 --> 01:08:06,724
And your eager spouse.
939
01:08:06,844 --> 01:08:11,306
- That's the best offer I've had all day.
- No wonder he's drooling.
940
01:08:11,436 --> 01:08:16,858
Listen, you fricasseed Casanova. Not her.
You're gonna marry Apple Annie.
941
01:08:16,988 --> 01:08:19,479
- Apple Annie?
- Apple Annie.
942
01:08:19,619 --> 01:08:23,481
Even as a jest, Dude, that's an insult.
943
01:08:23,621 --> 01:08:25,662
Junior!
944
01:08:28,673 --> 01:08:31,924
Apple Annie. Preposterous!
945
01:08:32,054 --> 01:08:37,096
A creature of the pavements, a... a...
a frowsy hag, with the breath of a dragon.
946
01:08:37,687 --> 01:08:43,819
Sir, despite my larcenous impulses,
I am a gentleman.
947
01:08:43,939 --> 01:08:45,780
Good afternoon.
948
01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:48,311
Good afternoon, Annie.
949
01:08:51,072 --> 01:08:52,493
Annie?
950
01:08:52,623 --> 01:08:54,584
(Dude) That's Annie.
951
01:08:57,915 --> 01:09:00,256
Apple Annie?
952
01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:04,297
Annie, the judge was just saying
how pleased he'll be to be your husband.
953
01:09:04,428 --> 01:09:06,889
Thank you, Judge.
954
01:09:07,889 --> 01:09:10,350
I'm deeply grateful.
955
01:09:14,982 --> 01:09:17,733
The pleasure, I assure you,
956
01:09:17,863 --> 01:09:21,074
dear kind and charming lady,
957
01:09:21,204 --> 01:09:23,245
is entirely mine.
958
01:09:29,628 --> 01:09:34,050
You're all set now, Annie. You got yourself
a husband. Now you'll go to the boat.
959
01:09:34,180 --> 01:09:36,971
Yeah. God bless you, Dude.
God bless you.
960
01:09:37,101 --> 01:09:39,472
OK.
961
01:09:39,602 --> 01:09:41,022
Joy Boy, let's go.
962
01:09:41,142 --> 01:09:44,774
Sure you don't wanna kill a couple
of hours, take some family pictures?
963
01:09:48,155 --> 01:09:49,906
Sir?
964
01:09:50,036 --> 01:09:51,577
Sir!
965
01:09:51,827 --> 01:09:53,868
Sir, pardon me.
966
01:09:53,998 --> 01:09:58,129
I will see that everything is done, sir,
notwithstanding my cardiac.
967
01:09:58,249 --> 01:10:00,300
- What?
- Oh, you can trust me, sir.
968
01:10:00,420 --> 01:10:03,131
I've had commando training.
The Boer War, you know.
969
01:10:03,261 --> 01:10:06,723
I shall need at least a score
of your henchmen, very rugged ones.
970
01:10:06,853 --> 01:10:10,144
- A hollow square will hold them.
- What are you talking about?
971
01:10:10,274 --> 01:10:13,776
The ship's reporters.
They interview the arriving celebrities.
972
01:10:13,906 --> 01:10:16,987
They will want to know from the count
why he came to America.
973
01:10:17,117 --> 01:10:19,988
Holy Toledo. I forgot about the reporters.
974
01:10:20,118 --> 01:10:23,700
- Why didn't you think of that?
- Why didn't I think of it?
975
01:10:23,830 --> 01:10:27,751
Come on, Junior. We gotta round up
the boys. What time does the ship get in?
976
01:10:27,881 --> 01:10:29,922
I hope it sinks.
977
01:10:30,593 --> 01:10:32,383
Take a walk.
978
01:10:39,186 --> 01:10:41,227
(ship's hooter)
979
01:10:44,278 --> 01:10:47,569
(band plays "A Life on the Ocean Wave")
980
01:10:54,832 --> 01:10:56,873
Has she seen the kid yet?
981
01:10:58,754 --> 01:11:01,385
- She's still looking.
- She's still looking.
982
01:11:09,148 --> 01:11:12,520
- How do I look?
- Beautiful. Like a star.
983
01:11:14,650 --> 01:11:21,193
I can hardly believe it. In a few minutes
I'll have my baby in my arms.
984
01:11:27,506 --> 01:11:30,587
- Do you see her yet?
- No, not yet.
985
01:11:32,058 --> 01:11:34,629
Dude, stay close to me. I'm so frightened.
986
01:11:34,769 --> 01:11:37,640
At least the boat's on time.
987
01:11:37,770 --> 01:11:40,141
- What about reporters?
- I took care of 'em.
988
01:11:40,271 --> 01:11:44,823
The Dude has woven a chain
of missing links around us.
989
01:11:44,943 --> 01:11:48,734
(band plays"The Man on the Flying Trapeze")
990
01:11:58,258 --> 01:12:01,259
Hey, look. There's Dave the Dude.
991
01:12:01,389 --> 01:12:04,801
Yeah, with his whole mob.
992
01:12:07,852 --> 01:12:13,815
Let's stick around. I've been waiting
ten years to pin something on that Dude.
993
01:12:13,945 --> 01:12:15,985
(ship's hooter)
994
01:12:28,971 --> 01:12:32,262
There she is! There she is! Louise!
995
01:12:32,392 --> 01:12:35,723
Louise! Louise, darling!
996
01:12:40,445 --> 01:12:43,857
Louise! Louise!
997
01:12:43,987 --> 01:12:45,487
Louise!
998
01:12:46,328 --> 01:12:49,039
Louise!
999
01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:52,750
Louise! Louise!
1000
01:13:00,804 --> 01:13:04,975
She saw me. She recognized me.
1001
01:13:05,095 --> 01:13:06,296
Louise!
1002
01:13:08,897 --> 01:13:12,068
Mama! Mama!
1003
01:13:12,198 --> 01:13:14,029
Mama!
1004
01:13:21,622 --> 01:13:25,714
My baby. My baby.
1005
01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,885
My Louise.
1006
01:13:30,766 --> 01:13:33,847
I can't believe it, after all these years.
1007
01:13:33,977 --> 01:13:36,598
Why, you're a grown woman.
1008
01:13:37,899 --> 01:13:42,441
- And so beautiful.
- Oh, Mama, you are too.
1009
01:13:42,571 --> 01:13:44,651
I would've known you anywhere.
1010
01:13:44,782 --> 01:13:47,993
What are they doin' now, Sal?
1011
01:13:48,123 --> 01:13:49,744
Huggin' and kissin'.
1012
01:13:49,874 --> 01:13:52,125
Is she happy?
1013
01:13:55,626 --> 01:13:58,587
- She's crying.
- She's crying.
1014
01:14:00,388 --> 01:14:05,100
I want you to meet Count Alfonso Romero
and his son Carlos Romero.
1015
01:14:05,230 --> 01:14:07,271
This is my mother.
1016
01:14:07,401 --> 01:14:09,972
- How do you do?
- Madam.
1017
01:14:11,863 --> 01:14:14,614
How do you do?
1018
01:14:14,744 --> 01:14:19,246
Darling, this is your stepfather,
Judge Manville.
1019
01:14:19,376 --> 01:14:23,497
Mother's written me
so much about you, Father.
1020
01:14:26,168 --> 01:14:30,510
I want you to meet Count Romero
and his son Carlos.
1021
01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:34,502
- How do you do?
- Welcome to America, my dear Count.
1022
01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:38,063
We've looked forward to your visit
with considerable relish.
1023
01:14:38,193 --> 01:14:41,525
This is a glorious moment for everyone.
1024
01:14:41,655 --> 01:14:44,526
Oh, how stupid of me.
1025
01:14:44,656 --> 01:14:47,287
- Louise, this is your, um...
- Aunt. Aunt Betty.
1026
01:14:47,407 --> 01:14:50,038
- Aunt Betty.
- And Uncle David.
1027
01:14:50,168 --> 01:14:55,920
- I never knew I had an aunt and uncle.
- Yes, dear. David is your father's brother.
1028
01:14:56,051 --> 01:15:00,592
I'm so pleased.
Mother never wrote a word about you.
1029
01:15:00,722 --> 01:15:06,265
That's because he's always been
the black sheep of the family.
1030
01:15:07,355 --> 01:15:10,947
May I present Count Romero,
and Carlos Romero.
1031
01:15:11,067 --> 01:15:14,818
This is my Aunt Betty and my Uncle David.
1032
01:15:14,948 --> 01:15:18,620
- How do you do?
- Nice to meet you. Will you excuse me?
1033
01:15:20,621 --> 01:15:23,082
Excuse me. I'm the ship news reporter.
1034
01:15:23,212 --> 01:15:25,502
You lookin' for somebody, kid? What is it?
1035
01:15:25,633 --> 01:15:28,174
- You talking to me?
- No, your Aunt Tillie.
1036
01:15:28,304 --> 01:15:31,385
- They made me the ship news reporter.
- No kiddin'?
1037
01:15:31,515 --> 01:15:35,216
- I gotta check the passengers.
- There's no passengers on that boat.
1038
01:15:35,357 --> 01:15:40,359
- What do you call those people?
- Spanish sailors. They all dress like that.
1039
01:15:40,489 --> 01:15:44,490
- Hey, what kind of a gag is this?
- This is no gag. You gotta go to pier four.
1040
01:15:44,620 --> 01:15:49,162
- The Jersey ferry just hit an iceberg.
- Then it got shot up by a submarine.
1041
01:15:49,292 --> 01:15:51,253
- One of ours.
- A catastrophe.
1042
01:15:51,373 --> 01:15:54,584
- Terrible thing.
- Worse than the Lusitania.
1043
01:15:54,714 --> 01:15:56,755
Take this man to pier four in the Bronx.
1044
01:15:56,885 --> 01:16:00,387
- Pier four ain't in the Bronx.
- It's in the Bronx. It moved.
1045
01:16:01,887 --> 01:16:05,309
- How many is that?
- That's five, and we're runnin' out of cars.
1046
01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:08,520
(man) You wait here
while I get Count Romero.
1047
01:16:10,111 --> 01:16:12,402
You will come with me.
1048
01:16:12,532 --> 01:16:14,572
Take a walk.
1049
01:16:16,453 --> 01:16:19,414
I want you to take some
very good pictures of the count.
1050
01:16:19,544 --> 01:16:21,875
- Can I help you, mister?
- I doubt it, sir.
1051
01:16:22,005 --> 01:16:25,257
- I am the Spanish consul and...
- I was just looking for you.
1052
01:16:25,387 --> 01:16:27,428
- You were?
- Yes. Immigration.
1053
01:16:27,548 --> 01:16:31,059
We're holding Count Romero
because of some rare Spanish disease.
1054
01:16:31,179 --> 01:16:35,431
Rare disease? But there is
no such thing as a Spanish disease.
1055
01:16:35,561 --> 01:16:37,602
- Lieutenant.
- Yes, Sergeant?
1056
01:16:37,732 --> 01:16:43,364
It's worse than expected. They say they'll
take the count away in a straitjacket.
1057
01:16:43,494 --> 01:16:46,455
I'm sure the consul here
can straighten things out.
1058
01:16:46,575 --> 01:16:49,457
- Take the consul to the count's cabin.
- Aye aye, sir.
1059
01:16:49,587 --> 01:16:52,418
- This way.
- Don't get too close to the count.
1060
01:16:52,548 --> 01:16:57,430
This is fantastic! I am going to take this
to the secretary of state himself.
1061
01:16:57,550 --> 01:16:59,591
You should, sir.
1062
01:17:03,272 --> 01:17:06,854
Looks like the Dude's
got a new swindle going.
1063
01:17:06,984 --> 01:17:10,355
The Dude's too smart to pull anything
in the open. Let's go.
1064
01:17:10,485 --> 01:17:13,947
Wait a minute. Let's have
a little chat with him anyway.
1065
01:17:14,077 --> 01:17:15,077
OK.
1066
01:17:15,197 --> 01:17:18,789
(Smiley) Gangway. Gangway. Gangway.
1067
01:17:18,919 --> 01:17:23,290
Mr. Dude, sir, a couple of coppers
are comin' to put the arm on you.
1068
01:17:26,132 --> 01:17:28,342
Holy cow.
1069
01:17:28,473 --> 01:17:31,154
Junior, start a brannigan.
Sock the Weasel.
1070
01:17:31,264 --> 01:17:35,215
- Sock the Weasel? He's my brother!
- Don't argue. Sock the Weasel.
1071
01:17:35,355 --> 01:17:38,647
- Hey, Weasel. How's Ma?
- Ma's OK. She's all right.
1072
01:17:38,777 --> 01:17:40,197
Good.
1073
01:17:44,329 --> 01:17:47,120
Ma told you not to hit me no more!
1074
01:17:50,922 --> 01:17:52,542
Fight!
1075
01:17:52,672 --> 01:17:54,713
(women scream)
1076
01:17:59,765 --> 01:18:04,057
- Amscray. A couple of ullbays.
- Folks, I think we'd best be on our way.
1077
01:18:04,187 --> 01:18:06,228
(police whistle)
1078
01:18:09,899 --> 01:18:11,950
Hi, fellas.
1079
01:18:12,821 --> 01:18:16,612
Boy, have I seen New York
in the past four days!
1080
01:18:18,043 --> 01:18:20,794
Boss, Queenie says for you
to eat these sandwiches.
1081
01:18:20,924 --> 01:18:24,755
- How's tricks with the social mob?
- It's going so great, I'm scared.
1082
01:18:24,885 --> 01:18:27,346
First thing, breakfast on gold plates.
1083
01:18:27,466 --> 01:18:31,018
Then Queenie herds us into the car
and we go sightseeing all over.
1084
01:18:31,138 --> 01:18:33,189
Did you know New York was an island?
1085
01:18:37,441 --> 01:18:39,691
- What do you want, boss?
- Got a pastrami?
1086
01:18:39,822 --> 01:18:42,233
Yeah. Ma thought I was nuts.
1087
01:18:42,363 --> 01:18:47,074
Hey, Joy Boy. We passed by a zoo,
and what do you think I saw? A cow!
1088
01:18:47,915 --> 01:18:50,046
Here's your yoghurt.
1089
01:18:50,166 --> 01:18:55,518
- Guess who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
- Will you leave me alone with the tomb?
1090
01:18:55,638 --> 01:18:58,099
You're sure the count
ain't talked to nobody?
1091
01:18:58,219 --> 01:19:01,310
Count Romero? He don't get
a chance to talk to himself.
1092
01:19:01,430 --> 01:19:06,402
When the judge runs out of gas about
cowboys and Indians, Queenie sings.
1093
01:19:06,522 --> 01:19:09,694
- Enough already! Please!
- You ain't heard nothin' yet.
1094
01:19:09,824 --> 01:19:14,786
You should see the way Annie looks at
her daughter - like she was a banana split.
1095
01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:19,037
Hey, boss, those two kids better
get married, or else they're gonna bust.
1096
01:19:19,168 --> 01:19:22,249
See? I told you guys.
1097
01:19:22,379 --> 01:19:28,591
Helping that old doll...
it kinda gets me, right here.
1098
01:19:28,721 --> 01:19:30,552
You know what I mean?
1099
01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:34,934
You know, boss, it gets me too.
Only higher.
1100
01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:39,446
I hate to tell you where it gets me.
1101
01:19:39,576 --> 01:19:41,867
And I'm gonna tell you.
1102
01:19:41,997 --> 01:19:46,038
You're playin' with your darts,
and you're happy with the banana,
1103
01:19:46,169 --> 01:19:48,369
but me, I'm scared.
1104
01:19:48,499 --> 01:19:53,461
Three days and nights we're waitin'
by the phone. Darcey ain't called.
1105
01:19:53,592 --> 01:19:56,423
You know what that means?
I can feel the bullets.
1106
01:19:56,553 --> 01:19:59,474
Darcey's gotta knock us off now,
or we're done.
1107
01:19:59,604 --> 01:20:02,565
All right. I don't complain. No.
1108
01:20:02,685 --> 01:20:07,027
You say no bullets. All right.
You say no guns. All right.
1109
01:20:07,157 --> 01:20:11,199
No bodyguards. All right.
You say don't lock the doors. All right.
1110
01:20:11,329 --> 01:20:15,450
It's crazy, but I've been with you
for ten years. I'll go along for the ride.
1111
01:20:15,580 --> 01:20:21,213
But not this. I'm not gonna sit here,
sweat, feel hot lead, and at the same time
1112
01:20:21,343 --> 01:20:25,464
listen to that sugar-coated malarkey about
the beggar woman and her daughter.
1113
01:20:25,595 --> 01:20:28,306
That's all! Finished! Done! Goodbye!
1114
01:20:29,686 --> 01:20:31,727
(phone rings)
1115
01:20:31,857 --> 01:20:34,398
That's Darcey.
1116
01:20:34,528 --> 01:20:38,390
I wish I could worry like him,
but I don't know how.
1117
01:20:38,530 --> 01:20:39,780
Talk.
1118
01:20:39,910 --> 01:20:42,031
Aw, for cryin' out loud.
1119
01:20:42,161 --> 01:20:46,453
It's Annie's butler.
That's the bum from the Boer War.
1120
01:20:46,583 --> 01:20:48,544
Now what?
1121
01:20:48,674 --> 01:20:50,215
Yeah?
1122
01:20:50,335 --> 01:20:52,505
I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr. Dude,
1123
01:20:52,636 --> 01:20:55,757
but the count just asked me
to telephone the Spanish consul.
1124
01:20:55,887 --> 01:20:59,518
- What does he want to talk to him for?
- I don't know why.
1125
01:20:59,638 --> 01:21:02,730
But I did hear him say
that he was tired of sightseeing
1126
01:21:02,860 --> 01:21:04,810
and he wanted to meet some people.
1127
01:21:04,941 --> 01:21:09,192
- Joy Boy, how's your Spanish?
- As good as my French. They both stink.
1128
01:21:10,573 --> 01:21:13,864
Junior, did you learn anything
from Spanish Lena?
1129
01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:16,675
Spanish Lena was a Hungarian.
1130
01:21:16,795 --> 01:21:20,547
Don't nobody know nothin'?
And where's Queenie?
1131
01:21:20,677 --> 01:21:24,008
- Put the sucker on. I'll fade him myself.
- (door buzzer)
1132
01:21:24,138 --> 01:21:26,179
It's open.
1133
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:30,641
Hey, you're Darcey's boys.
1134
01:21:30,771 --> 01:21:33,852
Mr. Darcey don't never send "boys".
1135
01:21:33,982 --> 01:21:38,194
- Mr. Darcey wants to see you.
- We were waiting for his call.
1136
01:21:38,324 --> 01:21:40,365
Why don't you make yourself at home?
1137
01:21:40,495 --> 01:21:42,366
And you were worried!
1138
01:21:42,496 --> 01:21:44,667
Hello? Hello?
1139
01:21:44,787 --> 01:21:48,578
Soy el conde de Romero.¿Por qué no fue a recibirme?
1140
01:21:48,708 --> 01:21:54,431
(Japanese accent) Very sorry.
Nobody home. They all go far away.
1141
01:21:54,551 --> 01:21:56,592
They all go... California.
1142
01:21:56,722 --> 01:21:59,473
Lots of sunshine in California.
1143
01:21:59,603 --> 01:22:03,354
So this Japanese houseboy.So sorry. Ooh, very sorry.
1144
01:22:03,484 --> 01:22:05,735
No, I'm very sorry, they're not home.
1145
01:22:05,865 --> 01:22:10,617
Ooh, very sorry. No, I'm very sorry.
They're not home. Nobody home. Just me.
1146
01:22:10,747 --> 01:22:12,578
OK. Bye-bye.
1147
01:22:14,999 --> 01:22:18,380
That's very good, Mr. Moto.
Now let's go do some business.
1148
01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:21,132
I'll be with you in a minute.
Where is Little Switz?
1149
01:22:21,262 --> 01:22:23,713
- We'll take you personal.
- Yeah.
1150
01:22:23,843 --> 01:22:27,974
But first I have a little personal business.
I wanna stop off and buy my apple.
1151
01:22:28,104 --> 01:22:31,396
You ain't stoppin' nowhere.
Mr. Darcey's through playin'. Up!
1152
01:22:31,526 --> 01:22:33,567
You, fancy-pants, over there.
1153
01:22:33,687 --> 01:22:36,238
You, Mr. Apples, over here. Turn around.
1154
01:22:36,358 --> 01:22:40,149
- Turn around! Up! Up!
- All right, all right.
1155
01:22:42,160 --> 01:22:45,912
- Hey, your hand's bleeding.
- Oh! Argh!
1156
01:22:46,042 --> 01:22:49,423
- This way, gentlemen.
- We'll tie 'em, lock 'em in the bathroom.
1157
01:22:49,543 --> 01:22:55,556
When he gets his apple, we'll be back
to pick you up. Now get in there! Move!
1158
01:22:56,936 --> 01:23:01,978
Wait. Lock 'em in the closet, Joy Boy.
They may just wax the bathroom floor.
1159
01:23:04,649 --> 01:23:08,571
- Yes, sir?
- I am Señor Cortez, the Spanish consul.
1160
01:23:08,701 --> 01:23:11,162
- The Spanish consul?
- Yes.
1161
01:23:11,282 --> 01:23:16,044
- Is Count Romero to be found here?
- Well... I don't believe he's in just now.
1162
01:23:16,164 --> 01:23:19,175
- So if you'd care to leave your card...
- Señor Cortez?
1163
01:23:20,256 --> 01:23:22,296
Señor conde.
1164
01:23:22,426 --> 01:23:25,108
Count Romero will receive you.
1165
01:23:27,228 --> 01:23:30,390
It has been very difficult
for me to locate you, Count Romero.
1166
01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:34,221
This is most confusing.
I just had your office on the phone,
1167
01:23:34,361 --> 01:23:37,493
and your Japanese houseboy
assured me you were out of town.
1168
01:23:37,613 --> 01:23:38,893
- Japanese?
- Sí.
1169
01:23:39,033 --> 01:23:41,914
What would I be doing
with a Japanese houseboy?
1170
01:23:42,034 --> 01:23:46,166
- That is what we were wondering.
- Very strange.
1171
01:23:47,967 --> 01:23:50,418
- May I?
- Sí, sí.
1172
01:23:51,758 --> 01:23:55,890
It is my impression that there's
something peculiar about Mrs. Manville.
1173
01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:57,971
- Mrs. Manville? Peculiar?
- Yes.
1174
01:23:58,101 --> 01:24:02,483
I've telephoned several society editors
and they know nothing about her.
1175
01:24:02,613 --> 01:24:05,694
- I would be very cautious if I were you.
- Of what?
1176
01:24:05,824 --> 01:24:11,576
- Father, I resent these insinuations.
- You did not even meet me at the pier.
1177
01:24:11,706 --> 01:24:14,037
Believe me, I was there.
1178
01:24:14,167 --> 01:24:17,799
But an official told me
you were having difficulty with your shots.
1179
01:24:17,919 --> 01:24:19,340
Shots? What shots?
1180
01:24:19,470 --> 01:24:22,971
A gentleman from the immigration
service said you could not land
1181
01:24:23,091 --> 01:24:27,103
because you had contracted
a peculiar disease.
1182
01:24:27,223 --> 01:24:31,485
And later, the ship's captain told me
you were a guest of this Mrs. Manville.
1183
01:24:31,605 --> 01:24:35,866
Señor, I had no trouble landing.
I am in perfect health.
1184
01:24:35,986 --> 01:24:38,477
You are a most confused man.
1185
01:24:38,617 --> 01:24:43,499
When I try to reach you on the phone I find
your confusion has spread to your staff,
1186
01:24:43,619 --> 01:24:48,251
where a Japanese listens to Spanish
and answers in pidgin English. Caramba!
1187
01:24:48,381 --> 01:24:52,383
Señor, give the gentleman his hat.
1188
01:24:56,725 --> 01:25:00,506
Very well, Count Romero. But in taking
my leave, let me add only this.
1189
01:25:00,646 --> 01:25:04,438
That a bellboy in this very hotel
assured me that this penthouse
1190
01:25:04,568 --> 01:25:09,450
is permanently leased by an American
novelist named Rodney Kent.
1191
01:25:09,580 --> 01:25:13,832
Is this the way our diplomats conduct
our affairs? Questioning bellboys?
1192
01:25:13,962 --> 01:25:19,464
Good day, sir. This episode
will raise some eyebrows in Madrid.
1193
01:25:19,594 --> 01:25:21,995
- Rodney Kent!
- It's ridiculous.
1194
01:25:22,135 --> 01:25:26,267
For years Louise has corresponded
with her mother at this very hotel.
1195
01:25:26,397 --> 01:25:28,438
- If I may, sir?
- Sí, sí.
1196
01:25:28,558 --> 01:25:30,609
Thank you.
1197
01:25:30,729 --> 01:25:33,480
- Rodney Kent does live here.
- What?
1198
01:25:33,610 --> 01:25:36,741
In these books, sir. See?
1199
01:25:36,861 --> 01:25:38,912
Pulitzer Prize winner.
1200
01:25:39,032 --> 01:25:43,744
The judge - Judge Manville -
writes under that name.
1201
01:25:43,874 --> 01:25:45,295
Ah. Ah!
1202
01:25:45,415 --> 01:25:48,626
- After the fashion of Mr. Mark Twain.
- And O Henry, Father.
1203
01:25:48,756 --> 01:25:52,708
O Henry. Sí, señor. Yes.
1204
01:25:52,848 --> 01:25:56,599
- I trust this confidence will be respected.
- Of course.
1205
01:25:56,729 --> 01:25:58,350
Thank you.
1206
01:25:58,480 --> 01:26:01,731
Tea is served, sir, on the terrace.
1207
01:26:01,861 --> 01:26:04,232
Now, what are we gonna do after tea?
1208
01:26:04,362 --> 01:26:08,234
- What does the count like to do most?
- Well, he rides a bicycle a great deal.
1209
01:26:08,364 --> 01:26:10,415
Six-day bicycle races.
1210
01:26:10,535 --> 01:26:13,216
Great. I'll call for tickets.
1211
01:26:13,336 --> 01:26:16,127
Oh, dear Count, I have
such a surprise for you.
1212
01:26:16,257 --> 01:26:21,179
We just decided to go to the six-day
bicycle races at Madison Square Garden.
1213
01:26:21,299 --> 01:26:26,311
- But we'll not be here for six more days.
- Hi, everybody. Just came to say hello.
1214
01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:31,063
And... buy one of your delicious apples.
1215
01:26:31,193 --> 01:26:35,735
Oh, here we are. You see, Count,
it's sort of a family joke.
1216
01:26:35,865 --> 01:26:39,327
I always feel that
these apples bring me luck.
1217
01:26:39,457 --> 01:26:45,089
What a charming idea.
I have the same feeling about onions.
1218
01:26:45,209 --> 01:26:49,841
- What is it, Hutchings?
- A journalist to see you, sir. Second call.
1219
01:26:49,971 --> 01:26:52,012
(Dude) That guy out there is a reporter.
1220
01:26:52,142 --> 01:26:55,723
(judge) What provoked the curiosity
in this wretched scribe?
1221
01:26:55,853 --> 01:26:59,635
- He requests a biography of Mrs. Manville.
- Absurd.
1222
01:26:59,775 --> 01:27:02,696
Brother David, perhaps you
can handle this inquisitor?
1223
01:27:02,816 --> 01:27:06,197
Don't worry about a thing, Judge.
Everything's taken care of.
1224
01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,382
- What's the pitch, Brisbane?
- From the society desk at the Star.
1225
01:27:16,502 --> 01:27:19,263
I wanna do a feature
on Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
1226
01:27:19,383 --> 01:27:22,684
- She's not in the Social Register.
- Not in the Social Register?
1227
01:27:22,804 --> 01:27:25,145
Or the phone book,
not even the Yellow Pages.
1228
01:27:25,265 --> 01:27:26,766
Did you look under M's?
1229
01:27:26,896 --> 01:27:31,028
Look, I'm tired.
The Spanish consul called my editor...
1230
01:27:31,148 --> 01:27:34,409
- Say, aren't you Dave the Dude?
- What is he talking about?
1231
01:27:34,529 --> 01:27:37,410
Sure. I seen you around
Queenie Martin's club.
1232
01:27:37,540 --> 01:27:40,792
You know, you're wasting your time
with society news.
1233
01:27:40,912 --> 01:27:44,703
You could be a great big reporter,
and we could give you a great big story.
1234
01:27:44,833 --> 01:27:48,755
Yeah, but we better go someplace
where we won't be disturbed.
1235
01:27:48,885 --> 01:27:51,426
- Isn't that right, Uncle David?
- That's right.
1236
01:27:51,556 --> 01:27:55,427
- Do you want to step this way?
- Right this way.
1237
01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:05,151
No more sightseeing. No more buildings.
1238
01:28:05,281 --> 01:28:11,204
Mrs. Manville, I have come
to know your daughter that well
1239
01:28:11,334 --> 01:28:14,415
that I love her like a father.
1240
01:28:14,545 --> 01:28:17,376
Thanks... Thank you.
1241
01:28:17,506 --> 01:28:21,378
And so I wish to announce
I will be greatly honored
1242
01:28:21,518 --> 01:28:26,440
if your daughter will accept
the proposal of my son in marriage.
1243
01:28:26,560 --> 01:28:30,862
Congratulations, Carlos! This is
a great moment, a historic moment.
1244
01:28:30,982 --> 01:28:34,493
The union of our two families.
The Montagues and the Capulets.
1245
01:28:34,613 --> 01:28:38,455
My dear Count,
this calls for a real celebration.
1246
01:28:38,575 --> 01:28:40,876
That is exactly what I was coming to.
1247
01:28:40,996 --> 01:28:45,968
It will give me the greatest pleasure
to announce the engagement officially
1248
01:28:46,088 --> 01:28:50,890
at a reception for a few
of your intimate friends.
1249
01:28:52,471 --> 01:28:54,772
Reception?
1250
01:28:54,892 --> 01:28:57,733
- With people?
- Sí.
1251
01:28:57,853 --> 01:28:59,524
- Father...
- No, no.
1252
01:29:00,114 --> 01:29:04,155
Relax and enjoy yourself, newsboy.
You're living at the Marberry.
1253
01:29:04,285 --> 01:29:06,746
- It was nice meetin' you.
- (muffled cries)
1254
01:29:06,867 --> 01:29:10,248
Watch your diction, watch your diction.
1255
01:29:10,748 --> 01:29:12,669
Reporter's taken care of, Judge.
1256
01:29:12,799 --> 01:29:16,961
Uncle David, congratulate us.
Carlos and I are engaged.
1257
01:29:17,091 --> 01:29:20,382
You're a lucky man, Carlos.
Congratulations.
1258
01:29:20,512 --> 01:29:25,354
Brother David, I just told the count we'd
make the announcement at the reception.
1259
01:29:25,474 --> 01:29:28,355
Fine. Well, I'll see you folks around.
1260
01:29:32,327 --> 01:29:35,658
Reception? What reception?
1261
01:29:35,788 --> 01:29:39,370
The count wants to meet
some of our friends.
1262
01:29:41,170 --> 01:29:43,852
A modest affair. Nothing elaborate.
1263
01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:46,803
Just the intimate friends
of the parents of the bride.
1264
01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:51,095
About... 100 people, did you say, Judge?
1265
01:29:51,805 --> 01:29:54,266
100... friends?
1266
01:29:54,396 --> 01:29:57,147
You're the only one
who can handle it, David.
1267
01:29:57,277 --> 01:30:03,360
- We must tell Aunt Betty at once.
- Aunt Betty will be the first to know.
1268
01:30:03,490 --> 01:30:08,652
Brother Henry, would you come with me?
I think we have to make up a list.
1269
01:30:11,963 --> 01:30:17,095
Mrs. Manville, I hope there is
enough time for the preparations.
1270
01:30:18,846 --> 01:30:22,347
Why, you two-bit pool hustler.
Sit down there. Sit down!
1271
01:30:22,477 --> 01:30:25,979
- I told you not to get used to high living.
- It was the count's idea!
1272
01:30:26,109 --> 01:30:28,790
- I oughta belt him.
- Now, now, godfather.
1273
01:30:28,900 --> 01:30:34,112
Do you know what this windbag's
got us into? A reception for 100 people.
1274
01:30:34,242 --> 01:30:36,163
(door opens)
1275
01:30:39,254 --> 01:30:43,376
- Where do you think you're going?
- I'm fleeing from Armageddon, sir.
1276
01:30:43,506 --> 01:30:47,638
With my cardiac condition
I just cannot take unhappy endings.
1277
01:30:47,758 --> 01:30:51,679
- So I'm off to join Mr. Kent in Havana.
- With two broken legs?
1278
01:30:51,809 --> 01:30:54,520
My legs, sir? Oh, they're quite...
1279
01:30:54,650 --> 01:30:57,101
Oh. Oh!
1280
01:30:57,231 --> 01:30:59,692
Very cleverly put, sir.
1281
01:30:59,822 --> 01:31:02,904
Thank you, sir. Yes. Not at all.
1282
01:31:11,797 --> 01:31:13,838
You!
1283
01:31:16,469 --> 01:31:22,602
- You'll break the poor lady's heart.
- Why didn't you stop it before it started?
1284
01:31:22,732 --> 01:31:25,273
- Oh, there you are.
- So we gotta throw a party.
1285
01:31:25,393 --> 01:31:28,074
So we just herd up
a bunch of freeloaders.
1286
01:31:28,194 --> 01:31:32,116
Society freeloaders. The count
expects 100 of the Four Hundred.
1287
01:31:32,236 --> 01:31:34,286
Annie only knows people from sewers.
1288
01:31:34,407 --> 01:31:38,078
Which reminds me. You got a couple of
sewer rats trussed up in the closet.
1289
01:31:38,208 --> 01:31:40,419
Darcey's mugs. I forgot all about them.
1290
01:31:40,539 --> 01:31:42,800
The Weasel's in Annie's place,
so I'm here.
1291
01:31:42,920 --> 01:31:47,682
Somebody tell me how I got into this pot.
I didn't wanna be dealt in in the first place.
1292
01:31:47,802 --> 01:31:50,893
You, Queenie. You were the one
who suckered me into this.
1293
01:31:51,013 --> 01:31:54,565
As long as I was minding my own
business in my own racket, it was fine.
1294
01:31:54,685 --> 01:31:57,986
But then I had to start to help somebody,
had to be the big man.
1295
01:31:58,106 --> 01:32:00,357
And will you look at me now?
1296
01:32:00,487 --> 01:32:02,828
I got oost into this old dame's life,
1297
01:32:02,948 --> 01:32:06,950
I got a couple of hoods, a couple of
hatchet men, stashed in that closet,
1298
01:32:07,080 --> 01:32:11,962
- a reporter guzzled up in the penthouse...
- You got three reporters in the penthouse.
1299
01:32:12,092 --> 01:32:15,713
- Three?
- Two more showed up so we bagged 'em.
1300
01:32:15,843 --> 01:32:19,225
That's kidnapping. Do you know
what the newspapers'll do to us?
1301
01:32:19,345 --> 01:32:23,296
Does it still kinda get you
a little bit, right here?
1302
01:32:24,317 --> 01:32:27,778
- The butler says there's enough food.
- That's it. I've had it.
1303
01:32:27,898 --> 01:32:31,530
You, Junior, bring those
Darcey orangutans to me right now.
1304
01:32:31,660 --> 01:32:37,332
I like that butler. Calls me "sir",
bows to me. Makes me feel like a broad.
1305
01:32:38,503 --> 01:32:42,084
You take care of those reporters
till I square the beef with 'em.
1306
01:32:42,214 --> 01:32:46,086
And you go tell your friend Annie
to take her business around the corner,
1307
01:32:46,216 --> 01:32:48,927
because I am through, I am finished!
1308
01:32:49,057 --> 01:32:52,838
Oh, boy. And just when you were
starting to act like a human.
1309
01:32:52,978 --> 01:32:56,520
Queenie, you got 30 seconds
before I pick you up and throw you out.
1310
01:32:56,650 --> 01:32:59,821
You know, some people
toss charity balls for homeless cats.
1311
01:32:59,951 --> 01:33:02,492
They even build zoos
so wild animals live good.
1312
01:33:02,622 --> 01:33:04,913
- You get arrested if you whip a horse.
- 10.
1313
01:33:05,033 --> 01:33:07,494
Good people help, Dude. What are we?
1314
01:33:07,624 --> 01:33:10,586
Did we ever build a bridge
or plant a seed?
1315
01:33:10,716 --> 01:33:12,546
- 20.
- We're nothin'.
1316
01:33:12,676 --> 01:33:15,678
We're all a bunch of grabbers,
looking for the best of it.
1317
01:33:15,808 --> 01:33:20,520
- Just once, couldn't we help somebody?
- That's it. You're through, sister.
1318
01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:24,771
Yes, we're gonna help somebody.
We are going to help me.
1319
01:33:24,901 --> 01:33:29,323
I'm gonna make any kind of a deal Darcey
wants. Unless we've blown it already.
1320
01:33:29,443 --> 01:33:35,246
Hallelujah! I'm gonna drink to you.
It's my first in five years.
1321
01:33:35,706 --> 01:33:39,287
Do I infer you're stranding Annie
on the rocky beach of despair?
1322
01:33:39,417 --> 01:33:43,469
I've had just about enough
of your hot air too, Judge. You - out!
1323
01:33:43,589 --> 01:33:45,930
And you - out. Both of you - out.
1324
01:33:46,050 --> 01:33:48,601
That's it. School's out. Everybody out.
1325
01:33:49,521 --> 01:33:52,313
I hope we're not interrupting anything.
1326
01:33:52,443 --> 01:33:55,274
Louise! Darling!
1327
01:33:55,404 --> 01:33:57,735
Uncle David just told me the good news.
1328
01:33:57,865 --> 01:34:01,156
- My heartiest congratulations, Carlos.
- Thank you.
1329
01:34:01,286 --> 01:34:06,078
- I hope we're not intruding.
- Not at all. You're a breath of spring.
1330
01:34:06,208 --> 01:34:11,370
We were just taking a walk and Carlos had
the most wonderful, sweetest idea.
1331
01:34:11,510 --> 01:34:15,422
- What is it, Carlos?
- No, no. This is not the time. Or the place.
1332
01:34:15,552 --> 01:34:19,684
Of course it is, Carlos.
He thinks the world of you, Uncle David.
1333
01:34:19,814 --> 01:34:22,895
- Louise.
- What is it, Carlos?
1334
01:34:23,025 --> 01:34:26,487
Well, sir, I... that is, Louise and I...
1335
01:34:26,607 --> 01:34:27,607
Yes.
1336
01:34:27,737 --> 01:34:31,368
...we would be most pleased if,
when the time comes,
1337
01:34:31,489 --> 01:34:36,541
you will consent to be godfather
to our first child.
1338
01:34:48,806 --> 01:34:51,057
He'd be delighted.
1339
01:34:51,187 --> 01:34:53,978
Uncle David's already
an experienced godfather.
1340
01:34:54,108 --> 01:34:57,069
Oh, Uncle David! I love you so much.
1341
01:34:57,199 --> 01:35:02,071
Thank you, señor. I am very honored,
and my family is very honored.
1342
01:35:02,201 --> 01:35:05,162
- And if it's a boy we'll name him after you.
- No.
1343
01:35:05,292 --> 01:35:07,863
Louise, we cannot take up
any more of their time.
1344
01:35:08,003 --> 01:35:12,135
No. I'm sure you have so much to do,
arranging the reception on short notice.
1345
01:35:12,255 --> 01:35:13,886
Goodbye.
1346
01:35:15,727 --> 01:35:19,138
- About 100 people, you said, Judge?
- Not just people.
1347
01:35:19,268 --> 01:35:25,150
But citizens of style and grace.
And this above all: daisies who won't tell.
1348
01:35:25,280 --> 01:35:27,821
Dude's gang!
1349
01:35:27,952 --> 01:35:31,363
Now, there's a bunch of daisies
that wouldn't dare squeal.
1350
01:35:31,493 --> 01:35:34,034
With the right clothes
they'd pass off as kings.
1351
01:35:34,164 --> 01:35:36,245
- They would?
- Well, look at Annie.
1352
01:35:36,375 --> 01:35:38,916
The count fell for her. And you and me.
1353
01:35:39,046 --> 01:35:43,468
And Carlos thinks the Dude
is a young Abe Lincoln.
1354
01:35:46,929 --> 01:35:52,481
And the count even swallowed Joy Boy,
and I can do better than that in a pet shop.
1355
01:35:52,612 --> 01:35:55,693
If you weren't a broad
I'd kick you right in the stomach.
1356
01:35:55,823 --> 01:35:58,534
And my old chorus girls.
1357
01:35:58,654 --> 01:36:02,706
Why, they'd make the most glamorous
society queens this town's ever seen!
1358
01:36:02,826 --> 01:36:06,207
Indeed. Why not?
The world goes round in make-believe.
1359
01:36:06,337 --> 01:36:10,589
Louie the Lug - with a carnation in his
buttonhole, he'll look like Grover Whalen.
1360
01:36:10,719 --> 01:36:13,630
(Queenie) The Weasel'd make
a great secretary of war.
1361
01:36:13,760 --> 01:36:17,812
The Weasel as secretary of war? No,
he don't rate no more than an alderman.
1362
01:36:17,932 --> 01:36:19,432
Dude!
1363
01:36:19,563 --> 01:36:23,484
Why, the Weasel'd make as good a
secretary of war as anyone you can name.
1364
01:36:23,604 --> 01:36:25,655
No, I think he'd rate an alderman.
1365
01:36:25,775 --> 01:36:28,326
Dude, you're gettin' hooked again.
1366
01:36:28,446 --> 01:36:33,368
You know what? You almost had me
walking out on poor old Apple Annie.
1367
01:36:33,498 --> 01:36:37,880
Queenie, call your broads. Judge, call
Boyle's pool room. You know the number.
1368
01:36:37,100 --> 01:36:41,702
- I'll call...
- Dude... Dude!
1369
01:36:41,842 --> 01:36:44,883
Round everybody up.
1370
01:36:45,013 --> 01:36:48,354
They was knotted real tight.
Good thing I was a boy scout.
1371
01:36:48,474 --> 01:36:50,765
Mr. Darcey ain't gonna like this.
1372
01:36:50,895 --> 01:36:55,977
You tell Mr. Darcey he's got a deal, but on
my terms. He delivers me $100,000 cash.
1373
01:36:56,117 --> 01:36:59,899
And no more of you popgun monkeys
showing up or else I ain't gonna like it.
1374
01:37:00,039 --> 01:37:03,250
Would you kindly connect me
with Harry the Horse?
1375
01:37:03,370 --> 01:37:06,121
Honey, forget the house party.
I need you now.
1376
01:37:06,251 --> 01:37:10,383
Cheesecake, roust out the boys
and take 'em to a Turkish bath, will you?
1377
01:37:10,503 --> 01:37:13,054
What do you think, what for?
A bath, you jerk!
1378
01:37:13,174 --> 01:37:16,516
Hey, Joy Boy, get ahold of whatshisname.
Rosy, the suit man.
1379
01:37:16,646 --> 01:37:20,687
That's a good idea. I'll have him
measure you all for straitjackets.
1380
01:37:20,817 --> 01:37:22,858
(all talking at once)
1381
01:37:28,491 --> 01:37:36,964
(Louise) # I gave my love a cherry
without no stone
1382
01:37:37,584 --> 01:37:46,018
# I gave my love a chicken
without no bone
1383
01:37:46,848 --> 01:37:55,652
# I gave my love a ring that had no end
1384
01:37:56,322 --> 01:38:01,324
# I gave my love a baby
1385
01:38:01,454 --> 01:38:07,506
# With no crying
1386
01:38:08,087 --> 01:38:12,849
# I threw Carlos a flower
1387
01:38:12,969 --> 01:38:17,430
# And blushed a smile
1388
01:38:17,560 --> 01:38:22,272
# My love threw me the autumn moon
1389
01:38:22,402 --> 01:38:28,075
# And laughed a mile
1390
01:38:28,205 --> 01:38:32,787
# I gave my love a heart of love
1391
01:38:32,917 --> 01:38:37,669
# Wrapped up in pink and blue
1392
01:38:38,629 --> 01:38:44,682
# I'll give my love a baby
1393
01:38:44,812 --> 01:38:50,774
# Who'll look like you
1394
01:38:51,814 --> 01:38:55,816
- Keep singing. Please.
- No, Carlos. It's your turn.
1395
01:38:55,946 --> 01:38:59,287
- I'm busy.
- The wedding poem. You promised.
1396
01:38:59,408 --> 01:39:02,089
- Keep still.
- You'll have to at the wedding feast.
1397
01:39:02,209 --> 01:39:05,750
Your father told me that every Romero
for 1,000 years has had to do it.
1398
01:39:05,880 --> 01:39:10,012
- All because some silly ancestor wrote it.
- I love it. Please?
1399
01:39:10,132 --> 01:39:12,473
You interrupt people
at the oddest moments.
1400
01:39:12,593 --> 01:39:15,054
Please?
1401
01:39:15,184 --> 01:39:17,515
I hope nobody is listening.
1402
01:39:21,607 --> 01:39:28,149
For her, for whom
I would walk through fire,
1403
01:39:28,289 --> 01:39:35,462
the great cathedral's heavenly choir
sings God's angelic music.
1404
01:39:36,343 --> 01:39:39,714
Be still, my racing heart -
1405
01:39:39,844 --> 01:39:45,136
she is floating toward me
as a winged melody.
1406
01:39:45,266 --> 01:39:48,057
I burst with a Spanish pride.
1407
01:39:48,187 --> 01:39:51,609
A thousand eyes, all moist and dewy,
1408
01:39:51,739 --> 01:39:55,490
share the lovely vision.
1409
01:39:55,610 --> 01:39:59,162
Behold: my bride.
1410
01:40:18,770 --> 01:40:20,811
- Mother!
- Mrs. Manville.
1411
01:40:22,361 --> 01:40:26,313
- I was lonely for you.
- It is my fault. Please.
1412
01:40:26,453 --> 01:40:32,535
I have a lifetime with Louise, and you
only two days. I will see you later, Mother.
1413
01:40:34,506 --> 01:40:37,377
You do not mind
my calling you "Mother"?
1414
01:40:37,507 --> 01:40:40,188
I'd like that... Son.
1415
01:40:41,599 --> 01:40:44,060
Thank you...
1416
01:40:44,180 --> 01:40:46,231
Mother.
1417
01:40:50,733 --> 01:40:53,614
You do love him, don't you?
1418
01:40:53,734 --> 01:40:57,245
So much it must show, Mama.
1419
01:40:57,365 --> 01:40:59,997
Today, when we were
walking along Broadway,
1420
01:41:00,127 --> 01:41:04,078
a little old flower pedlar -
a deaf and dumb lady - gave me this.
1421
01:41:04,208 --> 01:41:09,841
She insisted I take it,
and she refused to accept a penny for it.
1422
01:41:09,971 --> 01:41:14,813
- Oh, Mama, life is wonderful, isn't it?
- Yes, baby. Yes.
1423
01:41:17,564 --> 01:41:19,815
- Mama?
- Yes?
1424
01:41:21,865 --> 01:41:25,987
You don't think anything can...
can happen, do you?
1425
01:41:26,117 --> 01:41:30,619
- Happen?
- I'm foolish, I suppose.
1426
01:41:30,749 --> 01:41:33,210
Maybe it's because I'm wishing so hard.
1427
01:41:33,340 --> 01:41:36,631
Mama, have you ever wished
for something so hard...
1428
01:41:36,761 --> 01:41:39,132
Nothing's going to happen.
1429
01:41:40,553 --> 01:41:42,594
Nothing.
1430
01:41:51,447 --> 01:41:53,408
- (intercom buzzes)
- Yeah?
1431
01:41:53,528 --> 01:41:57,450
- Captain Moore to see you, Inspector.
- Send him right in.
1432
01:41:58,080 --> 01:42:01,862
- Anything on the missing reporters?
- Nothing, Inspector. Not a thing.
1433
01:42:02,002 --> 01:42:04,043
The newspapers are crucifying us.
1434
01:42:04,173 --> 01:42:06,253
- You hear Winchell last night?
- (buzzer)
1435
01:42:06,384 --> 01:42:09,095
- Yeah?
- The commissioner's on the phone.
1436
01:42:09,225 --> 01:42:12,426
There he is again. Fourth time today.
1437
01:42:12,556 --> 01:42:13,977
Hello, Commissioner.
1438
01:42:14,097 --> 01:42:17,358
No, but I've got Captain Moore
in my office right now.
1439
01:42:17,478 --> 01:42:20,059
- No, not a thing yet.
- What do you mean?
1440
01:42:20,189 --> 01:42:23,200
I'm not gonna be made the goat
for the whole department.
1441
01:42:23,320 --> 01:42:24,911
(intercom buzzes)
1442
01:42:25,031 --> 01:42:27,202
- What is it?
- The mayor's on the phone.
1443
01:42:27,332 --> 01:42:31,624
- Didn't you tell him I was out?
- He didn't believe it.
1444
01:42:31,754 --> 01:42:34,375
Hold on a minute.
1445
01:42:34,505 --> 01:42:39,557
Hello. Yeah, Chief. I was just talking
to Inspector McCrary. Not a thing yet.
1446
01:42:39,677 --> 01:42:42,428
I have had a supersufficiency of
"not a thing".
1447
01:42:42,558 --> 01:42:46,980
I want some action, and I want it quickly.
Every editor in town is in my office now.
1448
01:42:47,110 --> 01:42:51,862
And you'll get a front-page editorial in
my paper every day till something's done.
1449
01:42:51,992 --> 01:42:56,114
It is a very embarrassing situation
when a reporter is not safe on our streets.
1450
01:42:56,244 --> 01:42:59,325
If the city can't do anything,
perhaps the state can.
1451
01:42:59,455 --> 01:43:01,836
We'll take it up
with the governor tomorrow.
1452
01:43:01,956 --> 01:43:05,167
I want you to find
those three reporters, Commissioner,
1453
01:43:05,298 --> 01:43:08,679
or I will be forced
to demand your resignation.
1454
01:43:11,020 --> 01:43:16,232
McCrary, you dig up those three reporters
or I'll have to get myself another boy.
1455
01:43:18,903 --> 01:43:21,984
Captain, you have 24 hours
to find those reporters.
1456
01:43:22,114 --> 01:43:27,957
If you can't, you'll find yourself on the
other end of a broom at the horse barn!
1457
01:43:28,077 --> 01:43:31,078
- What is it?
- I think we got an angle on the reporters.
1458
01:43:31,208 --> 01:43:34,249
- Speak up, son.
- A funny thing happened.
1459
01:43:34,379 --> 01:43:37,761
Last Saturday I met one of the boats,
to check the passenger list.
1460
01:43:37,891 --> 01:43:41,592
- Two characters shoved me into a car.
- Why didn't you report it sooner?
1461
01:43:41,722 --> 01:43:46,524
They didn't hurt me, just drove me around
the Bronx, then gave me taxi money.
1462
01:43:46,644 --> 01:43:48,945
- Any idea who grabbed him?
- Not exactly.
1463
01:43:49,065 --> 01:43:53,777
Two of our men saw Dave the Dude at the
pier Saturday night meeting some people.
1464
01:43:53,907 --> 01:43:57,449
- And with his whole mob.
- Dave the Dude, hm?
1465
01:43:57,579 --> 01:44:02,251
It's not much, but we're beginning
to look like a police department.
1466
01:44:02,381 --> 01:44:06,963
Captain, you better put a tail on the Dude.
There could be a connection.
1467
01:44:13,065 --> 01:44:16,066
These are great, Judge.
Just a few more speeches.
1468
01:44:16,186 --> 01:44:19,238
As Jimmy Durante says,
"I've got a million of 'em."
1469
01:44:19,358 --> 01:44:23,659
"My dear Count, it is indeed a pleasure..."
1470
01:44:23,779 --> 01:44:28,081
I'm charmed to meet you, Count.
I'm charmed to meet you...
1471
01:44:28,211 --> 01:44:32,293
- All right, hold it, everybody!
- Quiet! Quiet!
1472
01:44:32,423 --> 01:44:36,425
Listen. Queenie, take your broads
to the other side of the room.
1473
01:44:36,555 --> 01:44:40,676
- You guys, I want to talk to you.
- Guys over here! Broads over there!
1474
01:44:40,806 --> 01:44:44,308
Come on, move it! We ain't got all night.
1475
01:44:44,438 --> 01:44:47,269
You guys,
you gotta remember something.
1476
01:44:47,399 --> 01:44:50,190
You're not a bunch of bums.
You're a bunch of gents.
1477
01:44:50,320 --> 01:44:55,402
Dude, you gotta make 'em stop with the
pistols. They making holes in the lining.
1478
01:44:55,532 --> 01:44:58,584
I thought I told you to tell 'em
to leave the rods home.
1479
01:44:58,704 --> 01:45:02,085
- Weasel, I told you - no rods!
- No rods. Come on, you guys.
1480
01:45:02,215 --> 01:45:07,377
If we don't act like gents, we'll bollix
the whole schmear up tomorrow night.
1481
01:45:07,507 --> 01:45:10,428
Now, you all got the speeches
the judge wrote for you.
1482
01:45:10,558 --> 01:45:13,310
You know who you are, huh?
I don't have to tell you?
1483
01:45:13,440 --> 01:45:16,311
- Who are you, Slops?
- Governor of the State of Utta.
1484
01:45:16,441 --> 01:45:20,733
- State of what? No, no. State of Utah.
- Utah, metah...
1485
01:45:20,863 --> 01:45:24,994
Look, will you read the speech
the way the judge gave it to you, please?
1486
01:45:25,124 --> 01:45:29,536
Don't yak too much. Smile all the time.
That'll get you by anybody, even kings.
1487
01:45:29,666 --> 01:45:34,008
Kings, yeah. But these mugs? You smile
at 'em, you get a hand on the knee.
1488
01:45:34,128 --> 01:45:38,510
You've had so many hands on your knees,
deary, you wear gloves for stockings.
1489
01:45:38,640 --> 01:45:40,060
OK, settle down.
1490
01:45:40,180 --> 01:45:43,352
Dude! If any of your he's
make passes at my she's...
1491
01:45:43,482 --> 01:45:46,853
- No passes, no passes, no passes!
- You hear that? No passes.
1492
01:45:46,983 --> 01:45:50,985
- No passes? Gee, what a party pooper.
- I don't wanna hear no more from you.
1493
01:45:51,115 --> 01:45:53,946
Dude, this ain't a good speech
the judge gave me.
1494
01:45:54,076 --> 01:45:57,578
- You handicapping speeches now?
- This count's from out of town.
1495
01:45:57,708 --> 01:46:01,409
- So what?
- I tell him he's lucky to meet Apple Annie.
1496
01:46:01,549 --> 01:46:06,511
You wanna tell him you'll fix him up with
a couple of dames? Just read the speech!
1497
01:46:06,641 --> 01:46:09,723
(all talk at once)
1498
01:46:09,853 --> 01:46:11,263
Cheesecake!
1499
01:46:11,393 --> 01:46:16,555
Tell 'em to be quiet. Quiet down, guys.
Will you please be quiet!
1500
01:46:16,695 --> 01:46:18,776
Why aren't you practicing?
1501
01:46:18,906 --> 01:46:21,527
- I've been practicing. Only...
- Only what?
1502
01:46:21,657 --> 01:46:25,529
I'm as good as Louie the Lug is, and
if he's ambassador, I oughta be a king.
1503
01:46:25,659 --> 01:46:28,750
Secretary of the interior
is bigger than an ambassador.
1504
01:46:28,880 --> 01:46:33,052
I ain't as dumb as you think.
A secretary's a secretary.
1505
01:46:33,172 --> 01:46:37,724
All right, all right, brain.
I'll make you the postmaster. All right?
1506
01:46:37,844 --> 01:46:40,305
That's more like it. I save stamps.
1507
01:46:40,435 --> 01:46:43,816
- Yeah. Judge, you got a new postmaster.
- Check.
1508
01:46:43,936 --> 01:46:45,437
Come here, Mex.
1509
01:46:45,567 --> 01:46:47,608
Give the speech to him now.
1510
01:46:47,738 --> 01:46:51,239
- You're the count.
- I thought I was the governor of Florida.
1511
01:46:51,369 --> 01:46:54,791
Will you just please pretend
you're the count for a minute?
1512
01:46:54,911 --> 01:46:56,662
Go ahead. Shoot.
1513
01:46:56,792 --> 01:46:58,913
Count, Your Honor...
1514
01:46:59,043 --> 01:47:02,384
it's a rare... privy...
1515
01:47:03,094 --> 01:47:05,215
- privy...
- What are you talking about?
1516
01:47:05,345 --> 01:47:07,386
"It's a rare privilege", jackass!
1517
01:47:07,516 --> 01:47:13,108
Does it say that? I didn't think I was
supposed to call the count no jackass.
1518
01:47:13,228 --> 01:47:17,400
- You're giving me a headache, you guys.
- (booming voice) Me too!
1519
01:47:17,530 --> 01:47:22,362
What a bunch of ignoramice. Ignoramice -
that's more than one ignoramouse.
1520
01:47:22,492 --> 01:47:24,703
Yeah? You too, huh? Here.
1521
01:47:24,833 --> 01:47:28,164
- (clears throat) I'm losing my voice.
- Start practicin'!
1522
01:47:28,294 --> 01:47:32,166
- I am charmed to meet you, Count.
- You stink.
1523
01:47:32,296 --> 01:47:33,296
Jerk.
1524
01:47:33,427 --> 01:47:36,508
No, you don't. All we need now
is a crying drunk.
1525
01:47:36,638 --> 01:47:38,679
Give me one good reason to stay sober.
1526
01:47:38,809 --> 01:47:42,100
You thought all this up.
You straighten out this menagerie.
1527
01:47:42,230 --> 01:47:45,612
- Hey, guys, listen to Miss Martin here!
- Quiet down, everybody.
1528
01:47:45,732 --> 01:47:46,652
- Quiet!
- Quiet.
1529
01:47:46,822 --> 01:47:48,903
- Quiet!
- Quiet!
1530
01:47:49,033 --> 01:47:51,074
Let's do one thing at a time.
1531
01:47:51,204 --> 01:47:54,575
Forget the speeches for now
and we'll concentrate on the bowing.
1532
01:47:54,705 --> 01:47:57,997
- Judge, show 'em how to bow again.
- It's quite simple.
1533
01:47:58,127 --> 01:48:02,628
The movement is at the waist,
with a graceful gesture of the hand - thus.
1534
01:48:02,758 --> 01:48:04,799
What's so difficult about that?
1535
01:48:04,929 --> 01:48:08,391
Head waiters do it. Foreigners do it -
can't even speak English.
1536
01:48:08,521 --> 01:48:12,773
All right, listen. Have a he and a she,
pair off and practice the bowing.
1537
01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:17,114
- All you broads over here!
- Come on, girls.
1538
01:48:17,234 --> 01:48:19,445
Pick out a guy and start bowing.
1539
01:48:19,575 --> 01:48:22,036
Don't forget the gesture with the hand.
1540
01:48:22,156 --> 01:48:24,617
Bow. Everybody bow. Bow!
1541
01:48:36,762 --> 01:48:40,434
If I'm sober, why do I see things like this?
1542
01:48:51,038 --> 01:48:53,719
Does the board of health
know about this epidemic?
1543
01:48:53,829 --> 01:48:55,870
(woman screams)
1544
01:48:56,670 --> 01:48:58,291
- What's the matter?
- Him.
1545
01:48:58,421 --> 01:49:01,252
He tried to pick my pocket
where there ain't no pocket.
1546
01:49:01,382 --> 01:49:03,423
(uproar)
1547
01:49:05,844 --> 01:49:12,517
All right, hold it! You guys ain't taking this
thing serious. And you gals ain't either.
1548
01:49:12,647 --> 01:49:15,138
But this is serious, all right.
1549
01:49:15,278 --> 01:49:17,069
It's murder.
1550
01:49:17,199 --> 01:49:21,701
You're probably saying "What's in it
for us?" I'll tell you: nothin'.
1551
01:49:21,831 --> 01:49:24,512
I mean, nothin' that
you can put in your pocket.
1552
01:49:24,622 --> 01:49:29,544
After all, did any of us ever plant a bridge?
Uh... build a bridge or plant a seed?
1553
01:49:29,674 --> 01:49:33,255
For once, could we just
do somethin' nice for somebody?
1554
01:49:33,385 --> 01:49:35,426
This is for old Apple Annie.
1555
01:49:35,556 --> 01:49:39,898
If something goes wrong tomorrow night,
there's no telling what'll happen to Annie.
1556
01:49:40,018 --> 01:49:43,770
Maybe she'll put her head in the oven -
the perfect solution.
1557
01:49:43,900 --> 01:49:45,940
So come on now. We're gonna practice.
1558
01:49:46,070 --> 01:49:51,203
We're gonna get in there... Tell you what.
Make believe it's for your own mother.
1559
01:49:51,333 --> 01:49:56,495
I oughta do somethin' for my mother.
They won't let me see her in solitary.
1560
01:49:56,625 --> 01:49:58,966
(Dude) Now start practicing, everybody.
1561
01:49:59,086 --> 01:50:01,667
I say it again and again and again.
1562
01:50:01,797 --> 01:50:06,769
This will never work, this will never work,
this will never work.
1563
01:50:06,889 --> 01:50:08,730
Happy days.
1564
01:50:25,296 --> 01:50:29,668
The music must be soft and mellow.
Nothing harsh, nothing raucous.
1565
01:50:29,798 --> 01:50:33,580
Just the gentle drip of rain
upon an autumn leaf.
1566
01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:37,471
- Yes, sir. I'll lay on the silk.
- Splendid. Keep it schmaltzy.
1567
01:50:37,601 --> 01:50:41,233
(hums "The Marseillaise")
1568
01:50:41,353 --> 01:50:43,654
- The new men?
- Yes, sir.
1569
01:50:43,774 --> 01:50:46,185
- Trustworthy?
- Completely.
1570
01:50:46,325 --> 01:50:50,947
- I'm just loving this, sir. Aren't you?
- Hutch, in here it's Christmas.
1571
01:50:51,077 --> 01:50:52,658
Quite.
1572
01:50:52,788 --> 01:50:57,420
# Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way...
1573
01:50:57,550 --> 01:50:59,590
Yes.
1574
01:51:01,051 --> 01:51:07,974
As Pascal said: the heart hath reasons
that reason itself knows nothing about.
1575
01:51:09,224 --> 01:51:10,775
A handkerchief.
1576
01:51:10,895 --> 01:51:13,816
- A handkerchief.
- It's in your hand, ma'am.
1577
01:51:13,946 --> 01:51:16,657
Yes, of course.
1578
01:51:16,777 --> 01:51:20,369
Lola, do I look all right?
1579
01:51:20,499 --> 01:51:23,660
The head waiter at the Ritz
would give you the best table.
1580
01:51:23,790 --> 01:51:24,791
God bless you.
1581
01:51:24,921 --> 01:51:27,492
See for yourself,
Mrs. E Worthington Manville.
1582
01:51:27,632 --> 01:51:30,923
You'd make Cinderella look barefoot.
1583
01:51:32,224 --> 01:51:35,095
I don't know who that is in there.
1584
01:51:35,225 --> 01:51:39,307
I hope the whole thing isn't a dream.
1585
01:51:39,437 --> 01:51:41,477
Give me my basket.
1586
01:51:45,199 --> 01:51:47,690
Apples? Apples?
1587
01:51:47,830 --> 01:51:50,401
Your beautiful dream's
coming true, Annie.
1588
01:51:50,541 --> 01:51:56,083
God love you. Everybody's so wonderful...
and I'm so scared.
1589
01:51:56,213 --> 01:51:58,254
- (knocking)
- Come in.
1590
01:52:01,676 --> 01:52:05,057
Shades of Aphrodite, goddess of beauty!
1591
01:52:05,187 --> 01:52:09,049
Oh, that man just fills a room.
1592
01:52:09,189 --> 01:52:12,070
Never in all my questionable career
1593
01:52:12,190 --> 01:52:15,611
have I feasted my eyes
upon such divine loveliness.
1594
01:52:15,741 --> 01:52:18,152
Cut it out, Judge.
When's the Dude coming?
1595
01:52:18,282 --> 01:52:23,294
8 o'clock, my fluttering dove, and bringing
the best-trained social lions you ever saw.
1596
01:52:23,414 --> 01:52:26,336
- But can they fool the count?
- Fret nyet, my pet.
1597
01:52:26,466 --> 01:52:30,167
You'll behold a miracle.
Orchids bloom where weeds once grew.
1598
01:52:30,297 --> 01:52:33,008
- What if they make mistakes?
- The Dude'll kill 'em.
1599
01:52:33,138 --> 01:52:36,020
- The poor dears.
- Pull yourself together, dearest.
1600
01:52:36,140 --> 01:52:40,401
You're the proud mother of a daughter
whose engagement is being announced.
1601
01:52:40,521 --> 01:52:42,982
And don't think of mistakes.
1602
01:52:43,112 --> 01:52:47,064
If any mug pulls a boner, I'll flood
the room with a torrent of oratory.
1603
01:52:47,204 --> 01:52:51,576
- You're wonderful, Judge.
- I know. Here's the receiving line plan.
1604
01:52:51,706 --> 01:52:54,167
You stand next to me,
1605
01:52:54,297 --> 01:52:56,628
then Louise, then the count...
1606
01:52:56,758 --> 01:53:00,430
- Yeah. And where am I?
- Right here.
1607
01:53:00,840 --> 01:53:03,091
Dude and his mob
are at Queenie Martin's.
1608
01:53:03,221 --> 01:53:06,772
- What are they doing there?
- I don't know.
1609
01:53:06,892 --> 01:53:10,274
It sure looks big. They got
a line of cars out here a block long.
1610
01:53:10,404 --> 01:53:14,695
- Stay on his tail. Don't let him get away.
- Right.
1611
01:53:14,825 --> 01:53:17,076
Let's close off the block.
1612
01:53:19,287 --> 01:53:23,209
Confidentially, at times I'm a bit ashamed
of my fellow Americans.
1613
01:53:23,339 --> 01:53:27,591
The way they fawn over celebrities,
particularly you titled nobility.
1614
01:53:27,711 --> 01:53:31,132
- I think that is charming.
- They're like children.
1615
01:53:31,262 --> 01:53:34,643
Tonight in your presence
they'll probably stammer
1616
01:53:34,763 --> 01:53:37,855
and appear to be
tongue-tied and awkward.
1617
01:53:37,985 --> 01:53:41,186
- I beg you to make allowances for them.
- But of course.
1618
01:53:41,316 --> 01:53:43,777
Different countries, different customs.
1619
01:53:43,907 --> 01:53:45,618
Which reminds me, Judge.
1620
01:53:45,738 --> 01:53:49,409
There is a custom in my country
which is not a custom in your country.
1621
01:53:49,540 --> 01:53:52,501
I have been hoping
that you would speak about it.
1622
01:53:52,621 --> 01:53:56,672
- Indeed, sir? What's on your mind?
- The dowry, my dear Judge.
1623
01:53:56,802 --> 01:54:01,014
As yet, nothing
has been said about the dowry.
1624
01:54:01,134 --> 01:54:03,385
- The dowry, huh?
- Sí.
1625
01:54:03,515 --> 01:54:07,017
I am aware, of course,
that in America it is not important.
1626
01:54:07,147 --> 01:54:09,558
But in my country
it is the first arrangement.
1627
01:54:09,688 --> 01:54:13,029
In your country, yes. In my country...
1628
01:54:13,159 --> 01:54:16,571
The dowry, huh?
I don't know what to say, Count.
1629
01:54:16,701 --> 01:54:19,532
- You crept up on me on that one.
- I beg your pardon?
1630
01:54:19,662 --> 01:54:22,753
I mean, this is so totally unexpected.
1631
01:54:22,873 --> 01:54:27,135
Don't you think it's...
a bit vulgar to speak of money?
1632
01:54:27,255 --> 01:54:30,596
Well, let us be vulgar, then,
for a moment.
1633
01:54:30,716 --> 01:54:35,878
I am willing to make a settlement
equal to 50,000 of your dollars.
1634
01:54:36,018 --> 01:54:39,940
- You are? Of my dollars?
- Sí.
1635
01:54:40,070 --> 01:54:44,822
I have been hoping that you would be
willing to make a similar settlement.
1636
01:54:44,952 --> 01:54:48,033
Willing? Yes, yes, of course. Willing.
1637
01:54:48,163 --> 01:54:50,874
Ah. Old Napoleon.
1638
01:54:50,995 --> 01:54:53,706
Join me in a nippy with Nappy?
1639
01:54:53,836 --> 01:54:55,876
Delighted, Judge.
1640
01:54:56,007 --> 01:55:00,548
I see you keep your billiard table
in excellent condition.
1641
01:55:02,269 --> 01:55:05,020
- Do you play?
- Do I play?
1642
01:55:05,140 --> 01:55:08,562
Señor, in Barcelona I am the champion.
1643
01:55:09,402 --> 01:55:12,403
Well, now, isn't that just...
1644
01:55:13,364 --> 01:55:16,285
- You don't say?
- Sí.
1645
01:55:17,075 --> 01:55:21,627
Perhaps... a little game
before the guests arrive?
1646
01:55:21,747 --> 01:55:25,419
I can think of nothing
that would give me greater pleasure.
1647
01:55:25,549 --> 01:55:27,589
(both hum cheerfully)
1648
01:55:33,522 --> 01:55:37,643
- Oh, about that dowry, Count.
- Yes, Judge?
1649
01:55:37,774 --> 01:55:42,235
It just occurred to me, as the young folks
are going back to Spain to live with you,
1650
01:55:42,365 --> 01:55:44,936
- I should give the whole amount.
- Oh, no, no.
1651
01:55:45,076 --> 01:55:47,367
I could not let you bear the entire burden.
1652
01:55:47,497 --> 01:55:51,329
But it's no burden, my dear Alfonso.
So, the matter's settled.
1653
01:55:51,459 --> 01:55:53,500
Please, my dear host.
1654
01:55:53,630 --> 01:55:57,462
You are so gracious.
You make me feel ashamed.
1655
01:55:57,592 --> 01:56:02,514
- I shall take care of the full amount.
- It's silly. We could debate this for hours.
1656
01:56:02,644 --> 01:56:06,185
In America we have methods
to settle such differences.
1657
01:56:06,315 --> 01:56:09,606
- We toss coins or pull straws...
- (chuckles)
1658
01:56:09,737 --> 01:56:14,068
- What's so amusing, Alfonso?
- I could take advantage of you, Judge.
1659
01:56:14,198 --> 01:56:19,440
Indeed, sir? You wouldn't
suggest a billiards contest?
1660
01:56:19,581 --> 01:56:21,411
(Alfonso chuckles)
1661
01:56:21,541 --> 01:56:23,672
(both chuckle)
1662
01:56:23,792 --> 01:56:26,753
(# "Blue Danube Waltz" by Strauss)
1663
01:56:29,475 --> 01:56:32,226
- (phone)
- That's enough. You'll start sweatin'.
1664
01:56:32,346 --> 01:56:34,397
(Junior) No sweatin'! Nobody sweats!
1665
01:56:34,517 --> 01:56:37,608
- Dude, it's gonna work, so help me.
- Get your coat, baby.
1666
01:56:37,728 --> 01:56:41,599
Dave! Come here. We're in, kid, we're in.
1667
01:56:41,740 --> 01:56:47,332
It's Darcey. Says you can write
your own ticket. Yes or no?
1668
01:56:48,412 --> 01:56:50,453
On my terms, Darcey?
1669
01:56:51,964 --> 01:56:53,624
All right. I'll tell you what you do.
1670
01:56:53,754 --> 01:56:57,536
You bring Little Switz
to pier 84 at midnight.
1671
01:56:57,676 --> 01:56:59,717
And bring the cash.
1672
01:57:06,149 --> 01:57:09,771
- What do you think of my apple now?
- I love it, I love it, I love it.
1673
01:57:09,901 --> 01:57:11,742
Ready, Dude.
1674
01:57:11,862 --> 01:57:16,624
Folks, Queenie and I are leaving now.
The rest of you follow in groups of four.
1675
01:57:16,744 --> 01:57:19,875
- And, Junior, you take over here.
- Good night.
1676
01:57:20,005 --> 01:57:22,046
Good luck, Dude.
1677
01:57:24,427 --> 01:57:27,718
Queenie, the Darcey deal's all set.
1678
01:57:27,848 --> 01:57:30,059
On my terms.
1679
01:57:30,179 --> 01:57:35,021
I'm gonna need you now more than ever.
So don't leave me.
1680
01:57:36,812 --> 01:57:38,863
OK, Dave.
1681
01:57:38,983 --> 01:57:41,024
Anything you say.
1682
01:57:47,206 --> 01:57:49,247
That's him.
1683
01:57:50,918 --> 01:57:54,209
Mr. Dude, there's cops
all around the place.
1684
01:57:58,301 --> 01:58:00,352
Thank you, mister.
1685
01:58:06,444 --> 01:58:09,815
(Junior) Like the boss said, you walk out...
1686
01:58:09,945 --> 01:58:13,577
- Boss, what's the matter?
- There's cops out there. Millions of 'em.
1687
01:58:13,697 --> 01:58:15,328
- Cops?
- What do we do now?
1688
01:58:15,458 --> 01:58:18,789
We can't go over to Annie's.
They'll follow us.
1689
01:58:18,919 --> 01:58:22,591
Queenie, get the judge on the phone.
We gotta stall 'em.
1690
01:58:22,711 --> 01:58:26,262
- What are they doing out there?
- I don't know. I don't figure it.
1691
01:58:26,382 --> 01:58:29,133
- I didn't do nothin'.
- Let me think.
1692
01:58:30,054 --> 01:58:33,515
- What amazing luck.
- I've been very fortunate, haven't I?
1693
01:58:33,645 --> 01:58:38,107
24-24. You realize,
you make this shot, you win?
1694
01:58:38,237 --> 01:58:41,448
Really? This shot seems
practically impossible.
1695
01:58:41,578 --> 01:58:43,199
I have seen it made.
1696
01:58:43,329 --> 01:58:47,030
It's a seven-cushion shot
with high, delicate right-hand English.
1697
01:58:47,161 --> 01:58:49,572
- That would take an expert.
- I beg pardon, sir.
1698
01:58:49,712 --> 01:58:54,544
Mrs. Manville's brother-in- law
on the telephone. He says it's very urgent.
1699
01:58:54,674 --> 01:58:56,714
I shall be there directly.
1700
01:59:08,109 --> 01:59:12,031
- You made it!
- Most fortunate. Most fortunate.
1701
01:59:16,202 --> 01:59:21,044
- The judge... expert.
- Oh, sir, I beat him regularly.
1702
01:59:21,174 --> 01:59:23,215
Thank you, sir.
1703
01:59:29,228 --> 01:59:34,730
Hello, brother David. Congratulate me.
I just saved you $50,000.
1704
01:59:34,860 --> 01:59:39,152
Knock off the lousy jokes. We're in a jam.
The place is surrounded by bluecoats.
1705
01:59:39,282 --> 01:59:41,323
Cops?
1706
01:59:41,453 --> 01:59:43,784
I don't care for that at all, my dear Dude.
1707
01:59:43,914 --> 01:59:48,335
Would you suggest that I fold my tent
and silently scram into the night?
1708
01:59:48,455 --> 01:59:50,796
You better stay right where you are.
1709
01:59:50,916 --> 01:59:54,758
- Just stall 'em. I'll figure something out.
- Figure fast, Dude.
1710
01:59:54,888 --> 01:59:57,179
I'm notoriously poor at bag-holding.
1711
01:59:57,309 --> 01:59:59,510
- What is it, Henry?
- Nothing, my dear.
1712
01:59:59,640 --> 02:00:02,891
I heard you. You said
something about cops.
1713
02:00:03,021 --> 02:00:05,903
- They're not coming here, are they?
- Of course not.
1714
02:00:06,023 --> 02:00:09,894
- Don't lie to me. Tell me the truth.
- Don't get yourself all worked up.
1715
02:00:10,034 --> 02:00:12,905
If something's going to happen,
I have got to know.
1716
02:00:13,035 --> 02:00:15,246
I'd rather tell them the truth myself.
1717
02:00:15,376 --> 02:00:19,038
Mama! Look what the count
gave me to wear tonight.
1718
02:00:19,168 --> 02:00:22,799
It's an heirloom that used to
belong to Queen Isabella.
1719
02:00:22,919 --> 02:00:26,551
- It's beautiful, dear.
- It's going to be mine after the wedding.
1720
02:00:26,681 --> 02:00:29,012
Carlos hasn't seen it on me.
1721
02:00:32,854 --> 02:00:34,894
(door closes)
1722
02:00:35,024 --> 02:00:39,276
She's a lovely girl, isn't she, Judge?
1723
02:00:39,406 --> 02:00:44,288
- Don't you think she's lovely?
- Angelic, my dear.
1724
02:00:44,408 --> 02:00:47,039
What am I going to do?
1725
02:00:47,169 --> 02:00:51,291
Suppose the count calls off the wedding.
1726
02:00:52,462 --> 02:00:54,512
She'd hate me.
1727
02:00:54,632 --> 02:00:57,724
Don't be silly, Annie.
1728
02:01:00,015 --> 02:01:04,396
She'll want to know who her father is.
1729
02:01:04,526 --> 02:01:10,199
What am I going to tell you?
You see, I was never married.
1730
02:01:10,329 --> 02:01:14,951
You won't have to tell her anything.
Now get a grip on yourself.
1731
02:01:15,081 --> 02:01:19,212
Dude'll come up with something.
He always does.
1732
02:01:30,107 --> 02:01:35,069
Before this evening is over,
I expect a complete apology from you.
1733
02:01:35,189 --> 02:01:37,650
- That is why I asked you here.
- My dear Count.
1734
02:01:37,780 --> 02:01:44,203
Nothing would give me greater
satisfaction than to be proven an imbecile.
1735
02:01:47,754 --> 02:01:50,435
What time do the guests arrive?
1736
02:01:50,545 --> 02:01:55,257
Well, no one arrives first, sir.
They all come in last.
1737
02:02:07,532 --> 02:02:10,533
- Hey, Boss...
- Will you knock it off?
1738
02:02:10,663 --> 02:02:14,705
Those bulls out there ain't got nothin'
on me, or they'd break that door down.
1739
02:02:14,835 --> 02:02:19,167
But how am I gonna get all these people
to Annie's without them cops tailin' us?
1740
02:02:19,297 --> 02:02:21,708
- You've got one ace in the hole.
- What's that?
1741
02:02:21,838 --> 02:02:26,640
- Give 'em what they want: the truth.
- The truth, to the cops?
1742
02:02:26,770 --> 02:02:28,891
Are you out of your skull?
1743
02:02:30,061 --> 02:02:34,603
Wait a minute. I got what they want.
1744
02:02:36,154 --> 02:02:38,195
Yeah.
1745
02:02:38,325 --> 02:02:42,076
I'm gonna go down and see
the commissioner and make a deal.
1746
02:02:42,206 --> 02:02:45,988
- The commissioner?
- Right. Take over, Junior.
1747
02:02:46,128 --> 02:02:51,720
- Joy Boy, come on.
- I don't like it. I don't like the whole thing.
1748
02:02:51,840 --> 02:02:53,881
Everybody, up on your feet.
1749
02:02:54,011 --> 02:02:57,142
I didn't like the way you bowed.
We're gonna do the bow.
1750
02:02:57,262 --> 02:02:59,223
- (moaning)
- Let's go.
1751
02:03:18,251 --> 02:03:22,202
Look, all I ask you, Commissioner,
is you just lay off me for tonight.
1752
02:03:22,342 --> 02:03:26,184
That's all? Don't you want me
to give you the keys to the city too?
1753
02:03:26,304 --> 02:03:32,026
- What's your mob doing at Queenie's?
- Nothin' that would interest you.
1754
02:03:32,146 --> 02:03:35,448
You see, I just can't tell anybody about it.
1755
02:03:35,568 --> 02:03:39,740
But if you'll just give me a base on balls
for tonight, I'll save your badge.
1756
02:03:39,870 --> 02:03:44,501
- What do you mean, save my badge?
- You wanna find those reporters.
1757
02:03:44,622 --> 02:03:46,872
- You got those reporters?
- I got friends.
1758
02:03:47,002 --> 02:03:50,044
All I gotta do is just
spread the word around those friends
1759
02:03:50,174 --> 02:03:53,805
and those newsboys will show up
tomorrow just as good as new.
1760
02:03:53,925 --> 02:03:57,767
All I ask you is, please,
just lay off me for tonight.
1761
02:03:57,897 --> 02:04:02,689
I don't make deals with bums. You'll have
a police escort until they show up.
1762
02:04:02,819 --> 02:04:06,030
Wait a minute. OK, Mac,
I'm gonna tell you something.
1763
02:04:06,150 --> 02:04:11,953
I got those reporters, and they ain't
showing up until I'm good and ready.
1764
02:04:12,083 --> 02:04:15,914
- Now are we gonna do business?
- Sure, Dude. We can do business.
1765
02:04:16,044 --> 02:04:19,126
- Frisk these guys and book 'em.
- What?
1766
02:04:19,256 --> 02:04:21,587
You can always do
business with the police.
1767
02:04:21,717 --> 02:04:24,508
- This ain't gonna get you no place.
- Get me the mayor.
1768
02:04:24,638 --> 02:04:27,559
He's throwing that big party
for the governor.
1769
02:04:27,689 --> 02:04:31,311
- When he finds out what this is about...
- Why drag the mayor in?
1770
02:04:31,441 --> 02:04:35,572
I bet he'll make a deal with you too.
He'll probably settle for about 50 years.
1771
02:04:35,692 --> 02:04:40,114
There's nothing crooked going on here.
When you hear the story, you'll laugh.
1772
02:04:40,244 --> 02:04:43,836
I'm laughing already, Dude.
I been waitin' ten years to laugh at you.
1773
02:04:43,956 --> 02:04:47,547
- Hello, Chief.
- Hold it. Just before you talk to him...
1774
02:04:47,667 --> 02:04:50,128
Joy Boy, I told Queenie I'd tell the truth.
1775
02:04:50,258 --> 02:04:54,100
I'm gonna give you the truth.
You'll think I'm nuts, but it's the truth.
1776
02:04:54,220 --> 02:04:55,971
It's like...
1777
02:04:56,101 --> 02:04:59,312
- Well, it's...
- Like a Mother Goose story.
1778
02:04:59,442 --> 02:05:03,984
That's right. It's like one of those stories
you tell the kids when you put 'em to bed.
1779
02:05:04,114 --> 02:05:07,815
Hold on, Chief. Dave the Dude -
bootlegger, racketeer and gambler -
1780
02:05:07,945 --> 02:05:11,207
wants to tell me a beddy-bye story.
1781
02:05:11,327 --> 02:05:17,089
OK, forget it. I'm gonna hang before I let
any fink of a cop give me the horselaugh.
1782
02:05:17,209 --> 02:05:22,721
As for you, Mr. Mayor... You tell Mr. Mayor
he'll never see those reporters again.
1783
02:05:22,841 --> 02:05:26,973
- Dave the Dude is in my office.
- I've gotta use the phone.
1784
02:05:27,103 --> 02:05:29,854
He admits he's got those reporters.
1785
02:05:29,984 --> 02:05:34,406
Good work, Commissioner! Dave the Dude
admits having the reporters.
1786
02:05:34,526 --> 02:05:36,987
- Dave the what?
- Fancy-pants ex-bootlegger.
1787
02:05:37,117 --> 02:05:40,409
- Excellent. Have they arrested him?
- Of course, Governor.
1788
02:05:40,539 --> 02:05:44,370
But what do you suppose will happen
now? A bail bond and he's out laughing.
1789
02:05:44,500 --> 02:05:47,752
- That's ridiculous.
- That's the way things go down here.
1790
02:05:47,882 --> 02:05:53,124
Of all the nerve. Who does he think he is?
He can't make any deals with the police.
1791
02:05:53,264 --> 02:05:56,435
There's an example, Governor.
You see? He makes deals.
1792
02:05:56,565 --> 02:06:01,317
The Dude says if we don't let him alone
tonight we won't see the reporters again.
1793
02:06:01,447 --> 02:06:05,069
- Why, this is outrageous.
- Don't get excited, Governor.
1794
02:06:05,199 --> 02:06:08,700
It's quite the customary procedure.
1795
02:06:08,830 --> 02:06:10,451
Bring the Dude up here.
1796
02:06:10,581 --> 02:06:13,792
That's exactly what I said.
Bring him without delay.
1797
02:06:13,922 --> 02:06:17,504
Don't worry about my guests.
This is more important.
1798
02:06:17,634 --> 02:06:21,385
You criticize my administration.
Let's see what you can do with him.
1799
02:06:21,515 --> 02:06:26,307
- I'd send a criminal like that away for life.
- Here's your chance, Governor.
1800
02:06:26,437 --> 02:06:29,979
All right, Slops, up on your blisters.
You ain't bowing right.
1801
02:06:30,109 --> 02:06:34,060
Lay off, Junior. I've bowed so much,
I've got a callus on my bellybutton.
1802
02:06:34,200 --> 02:06:37,282
- Come on. Bow.
- Sit down, Junior. Save your strength.
1803
02:06:37,412 --> 02:06:39,032
(phone rings)
1804
02:06:39,162 --> 02:06:41,203
Hello. Dude?
1805
02:06:42,164 --> 02:06:44,845
You're where? With the police?
1806
02:06:47,006 --> 02:06:50,597
You're gonna go over
and pick up the reporters?
1807
02:06:50,717 --> 02:06:52,758
Poor Annie.
1808
02:06:53,888 --> 02:06:56,430
All right. I'll go right over.
1809
02:07:01,612 --> 02:07:05,613
I feel sorry for the whole stinkin' world.
1810
02:07:05,743 --> 02:07:09,525
- What's it gonna be?
- It's all off.
1811
02:07:09,665 --> 02:07:13,536
Send the suits back. I'm sorry.
You can go home. Thanks for everything.
1812
02:07:13,667 --> 02:07:16,918
- That's a shame.
- (murmurs of disappointment)
1813
02:07:17,048 --> 02:07:19,759
You learned how to bow, didn't you?
1814
02:07:19,889 --> 02:07:22,380
- I wish I could cry.
- (glass smashes)
1815
02:07:22,510 --> 02:07:24,561
Come on, Junior.
1816
02:07:50,181 --> 02:07:53,343
There's nobody at Queenie Martin's.
1817
02:07:57,855 --> 02:08:03,097
No, no, Annie. Don't do anything foolish.
1818
02:08:03,237 --> 02:08:06,488
Mama? Isn't anybody coming?
1819
02:08:09,869 --> 02:08:11,920
Mama, what's wrong?
1820
02:08:13,541 --> 02:08:15,592
Louise, baby.
1821
02:08:19,423 --> 02:08:22,725
If you should...
If anything should happen...
1822
02:08:22,845 --> 02:08:25,476
Mama?
1823
02:08:25,606 --> 02:08:30,848
- You wouldn't hate your mother?
- Don't say things like that.
1824
02:08:35,990 --> 02:08:38,671
Is the count in the living room?
1825
02:08:42,373 --> 02:08:44,423
What is it, Mama?
1826
02:08:47,925 --> 02:08:49,596
La commedia è finita.
1827
02:08:49,716 --> 02:08:53,847
Send the waiters and the musicians home
and call a doctor. Where's poor Annie?
1828
02:08:56,648 --> 02:08:59,059
Annie, I'm so sorry.
1829
02:09:16,006 --> 02:09:20,508
Count Romero, I'd like to talk to you
for a minute, please.
1830
02:09:25,440 --> 02:09:30,572
I'm sure you must know
there's nothing in the world I want more
1831
02:09:30,692 --> 02:09:33,944
than for my daughter to marry your son.
1832
02:09:35,744 --> 02:09:38,826
She loves him. Loves him very much.
1833
02:09:40,126 --> 02:09:43,798
And I know he loves her too.
1834
02:09:46,049 --> 02:09:49,140
Ever since Louise was born,
1835
02:09:51,261 --> 02:09:54,772
I've lived for one thing:
1836
02:09:54,892 --> 02:09:56,943
her future.
1837
02:09:58,103 --> 02:10:04,536
And when she wrote me
that she'd found someone she loved...
1838
02:10:04,656 --> 02:10:07,957
I was the happiest mother in the world.
1839
02:10:11,339 --> 02:10:16,971
Count Romero, I know you came
to America to find out all about us,
1840
02:10:17,091 --> 02:10:21,223
about Louise's family.
1841
02:10:21,353 --> 02:10:26,815
- No, no, señora...
- No, I don't blame you. You have the right.
1842
02:10:27,856 --> 02:10:35,579
And it would be terrible after
they were married to find out that...
1843
02:10:37,079 --> 02:10:40,581
that Louise's mother was...
1844
02:10:40,711 --> 02:10:43,502
someone you would be ashamed of,
1845
02:10:43,632 --> 02:10:46,503
that even Louise would be ashamed of.
1846
02:10:46,633 --> 02:10:48,764
- That's silly, Mama.
- Mrs. Manville...
1847
02:10:48,884 --> 02:10:51,975
Let me go on.
1848
02:10:52,105 --> 02:10:57,227
I wanted this talk
so you would find out all about me.
1849
02:10:59,859 --> 02:11:02,199
First of all, Count Romero,
1850
02:11:04,240 --> 02:11:07,452
I must tell you that... I am...
1851
02:11:07,582 --> 02:11:11,793
(voices of crowd approaching)
1852
02:11:30,071 --> 02:11:32,532
(# "Minuet" by Boccherini)
1853
02:11:43,546 --> 02:11:47,338
His Honor, the Mayor
of the city of New York.
1854
02:11:51,690 --> 02:11:55,811
Go ahead, Mayor.
It's your idea. Start beaming.
1855
02:11:59,863 --> 02:12:02,434
My dear Mrs. Manville.
So good to see you again.
1856
02:12:02,574 --> 02:12:05,915
The last time I had the pleasure
was at your party at Briar Cliff.
1857
02:12:06,035 --> 02:12:08,717
I will never forget it.
It was a brilliant affair.
1858
02:12:08,837 --> 02:12:11,748
This, of course, is Louise,
the image of her late father.
1859
02:12:11,878 --> 02:12:15,579
- You're giving us the good news tonight?
- So nice to see you, dear.
1860
02:12:15,719 --> 02:12:19,141
You look just lovely.
Have you seen Lord Ferncliffe lately?
1861
02:12:19,261 --> 02:12:23,893
- Welcome to our city, sir.
- You look younger than in the newsreels.
1862
02:12:24,023 --> 02:12:26,064
Indeed? Thank you very much.
1863
02:12:26,194 --> 02:12:28,405
This is my son Carlos.
His Honor, the Mayor.
1864
02:12:28,525 --> 02:12:32,866
And you are the lucky young man.
Congratulations.
1865
02:12:35,868 --> 02:12:40,950
His Excellency, the Governor
of New York State.
1866
02:12:41,090 --> 02:12:43,581
(applause)
1867
02:12:57,696 --> 02:13:02,698
My dear Mrs. Manville, what a pleasure
to see you again so soon, and so radiant.
1868
02:13:02,829 --> 02:13:04,949
And this is the fabulous Louise.
1869
02:13:05,079 --> 02:13:10,632
I've always admired you, so her beauty
doesn't surprise me. You know my wife?
1870
02:13:10,752 --> 02:13:15,344
(wife) We're so happy to be here. We
wouldn't have missed this for the world.
1871
02:13:15,474 --> 02:13:18,635
(governor) Count, allow me
to welcome you to New York.
1872
02:13:18,765 --> 02:13:21,336
I'm crying.
1873
02:13:21,476 --> 02:13:23,817
Dude, I'm crying!
1874
02:13:23,937 --> 02:13:28,699
- Joy Boy, look, I'm crying!
- All right. I got my own troubles.
1875
02:13:30,570 --> 02:13:32,621
(sirens)
1876
02:13:33,741 --> 02:13:36,872
A police escort. That is more
than we get in Barcelona.
1877
02:13:37,002 --> 02:13:40,954
It's nothing, my dear Carlos.
I've had many a police escort.
1878
02:13:41,084 --> 02:13:43,385
How about that?
1879
02:13:43,505 --> 02:13:47,137
The mayor, the governor, the cops.
1880
02:13:47,267 --> 02:13:49,307
I thought they were all crooks.
1881
02:13:49,437 --> 02:13:53,019
Why did they do it?
They gotta have an angle.
1882
02:13:53,149 --> 02:13:57,151
Delightful experience.
Made me feel ten years younger.
1883
02:13:57,281 --> 02:14:01,062
Are you still gonna investigate
the mayor's administration, Governor?
1884
02:14:01,202 --> 02:14:05,454
I don't think so. I think we'll postpone it.
1885
02:14:05,584 --> 02:14:12,547
I must call the commissioner tomorrow. I
made his life miserable the last few days.
1886
02:14:12,677 --> 02:14:14,718
...the engagement of their daughter Louise
1887
02:14:14,848 --> 02:14:18,969
to Carlos Romero of Barcelona, Spain,
at a gala reception last night, and so on.
1888
02:14:19,100 --> 02:14:22,311
Take it from there and
include a complete list of the guests.
1889
02:14:22,441 --> 02:14:26,192
- And that's your story, all of it.
- But what about our being snatched?
1890
02:14:26,322 --> 02:14:29,364
You weren't snatched.
You were out on a drunk.
1891
02:14:29,494 --> 02:14:30,904
- Drunk?
- Drunk.
1892
02:14:31,034 --> 02:14:33,525
# We're going to the boat to see her off
1893
02:14:33,665 --> 02:14:35,876
# Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day
1894
02:14:35,996 --> 02:14:39,628
Happy days must really be back
if you bums are taking cabs now.
1895
02:14:39,758 --> 02:14:44,260
- Pipe down. We're with the governor.
- Dry up. We're godfathers.
1896
02:14:44,390 --> 02:14:49,352
# Fare thee well, fare thee well
Fare thee well, my dear Louise
1897
02:14:49,472 --> 02:14:52,053
# For we're going to the boat to see her off
1898
02:14:52,193 --> 02:14:54,314
# Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day
1899
02:14:54,444 --> 02:14:56,485
(ship's hooter)
1900
02:14:57,485 --> 02:15:00,326
(band plays "A Life on the Ocean Wave")
1901
02:15:12,511 --> 02:15:17,433
Little Switz? It's parked right behind you.
1902
02:15:18,564 --> 02:15:22,475
He's waiting. He's got
100 G's in small bills.
1903
02:15:25,737 --> 02:15:30,779
Boss, you got business. Can I have
the night off? I gotta go see Ma.
1904
02:15:30,909 --> 02:15:34,750
Wait a minute. Listen, Dave.
My wife, I ain't seen her in a week.
1905
02:15:34,870 --> 02:15:37,081
And she's this way again, so...
1906
02:15:37,211 --> 02:15:39,582
- What do you say we split a cab?
- Come on.
1907
02:15:39,712 --> 02:15:41,463
(ship's hooter)
1908
02:15:43,054 --> 02:15:45,465
- Elizabeth.
- Yeah.
1909
02:15:45,595 --> 02:15:47,636
Huh?
1910
02:15:47,766 --> 02:15:52,357
What was the name
of that town in Maryland?
1911
02:15:52,478 --> 02:15:54,318
Now, come on. Quit bawling.
1912
02:15:54,939 --> 02:15:57,069
(ship's hooter)
1913
02:16:04,002 --> 02:16:09,124
My baby. My darling. God bless you.
1914
02:16:09,885 --> 02:16:11,925
Adiós.
1915
02:16:12,055 --> 02:16:14,597
(band plays "Auld Lang Syne")
1916
02:16:15,597 --> 02:16:18,678
Courage, my pet.
Don't faint now. Courage.
1917
02:16:25,281 --> 02:16:27,652
Goodbye, Louise! Goodbye, Louise!
1918
02:16:27,782 --> 02:16:30,413
- Goodbye, Louise!
- Hey, hey, hey!
1919
02:16:30,533 --> 02:16:33,414
Why are you standing there
with your mouths open?
1920
02:16:33,544 --> 02:16:36,625
The crowd on this dock
is loaded. Start hustling.
1921
02:16:36,756 --> 02:16:41,878
Cos I'm gonna raise you
one buck a month to work on Broadway.
1922
02:16:42,008 --> 02:16:44,048
Goodbye, Louise!
158045
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