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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 -1:59:59,032 --> 00:00:04,034 Pocketful_of_Miracles_(1961) ,BR_MKV_H264(FrantonProductions,Eng,ASL,Spa,Sub) 1280x544 2 00:00:25,512 --> 00:00:27,923 God bless everybody. 3 00:00:33,566 --> 00:00:38,108 Apples! Help an old lady. Buy an apple. 4 00:00:40,368 --> 00:00:42,409 Bless you, mister. 5 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:47,331 A nickel. Thank you, Mr. Rockefeller! 6 00:00:47,461 --> 00:00:49,502 You lousy cheapskate. 7 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,203 Apples! Apples! 8 00:00:52,343 --> 00:00:53,844 Tallulah! 9 00:00:53,964 --> 00:00:56,515 Tallulah, good luck tonight! 10 00:00:57,265 --> 00:01:00,137 Apples! Apples, madam? 11 00:01:00,807 --> 00:01:03,268 Buy an apple? An apple, madam? 12 00:01:03,898 --> 00:01:06,689 Apples? Apples? 13 00:01:06,819 --> 00:01:08,400 Apples? 14 00:01:08,530 --> 00:01:11,611 Apples... Apples... 15 00:01:12,031 --> 00:01:15,123 Apples... Apples... 16 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,624 Apples... Apples... 17 00:01:19,004 --> 00:01:22,386 Apples... Apples... 18 00:01:24,596 --> 00:01:27,348 - Where'd you pick him up? - He's the new fella. 19 00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:30,559 - Working the subway, huh? - He didn't pay you yet, did he? 20 00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:32,810 I gave you five bucks last month. 21 00:01:32,940 --> 00:01:37,022 Five bucks every month if you work Broadway, buster. 22 00:01:37,152 --> 00:01:40,033 Hey, that's seven. Two of that's mine. 23 00:01:42,954 --> 00:01:45,035 Yeah, Soho. 24 00:01:45,165 --> 00:01:47,206 A nice long letter. 25 00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:49,877 - Did it come today? - Yeah. I'll pass it around. 26 00:01:50,007 --> 00:01:54,839 Now get going over to the Casino. There's a matinee. 27 00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:58,380 New joke? 28 00:02:00,021 --> 00:02:02,062 (cackles) 29 00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:05,693 (car hoots) 30 00:02:09,285 --> 00:02:11,776 - Hi, Smiley. - Hi, Annie. Been looking for you. 31 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:15,247 Dave the Dude wants to see you at Rudy Martin's. 32 00:02:15,377 --> 00:02:17,588 - # Happy days... - Annie... 33 00:02:17,708 --> 00:02:20,799 - I ain't paid this month. I'm a little short. - Sure you are. 34 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:24,381 Comes Christmas time, what you beg you put in the Santa Claus box. 35 00:02:24,511 --> 00:02:26,222 - I know. I'm a sucker. - You are. 36 00:02:26,352 --> 00:02:28,552 - Any mail? - Yeah. Over at the Casino. 37 00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:30,103 Don't forget the Dude. 38 00:02:36,026 --> 00:02:38,567 - Thanks, Annie. - Aw, shut up. 39 00:02:49,171 --> 00:02:53,263 # P-racticality D-oesn't interest me 40 00:02:53,383 --> 00:02:57,144 # Love the life that I lead 41 00:02:57,264 --> 00:03:01,016 # I've got a pocketful of miracles 42 00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:05,067 # And with my pocketful of miracles 43 00:03:05,197 --> 00:03:11,820 # One little miracle a day is all I need 44 00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:16,502 # T-roubles more or less B-other me, I guess 45 00:03:16,622 --> 00:03:20,133 # When the sun doesn't shine 46 00:03:20,714 --> 00:03:24,385 # But there's that pocketful of miracles 47 00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:28,347 # And with my pocketful of miracles 48 00:03:28,477 --> 00:03:31,358 # The world's a bright and shiny apple 49 00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:37,070 # That's mine, all mine 50 00:03:40,662 --> 00:03:43,283 Dude sent word he wants me. 51 00:03:43,413 --> 00:03:45,874 On top of everything else, this one shows up. 52 00:03:46,004 --> 00:03:51,006 All right. You got 14 fifths of Scotch... Just sit down, Annie. Five of the bourbon... 53 00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:56,428 You know, Joy Boy, this morning was the first time I ever been to a funeral. 54 00:03:56,558 --> 00:03:59,940 - Do you believe there's a life after? - Five of the gin and... 55 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:03,481 Why are you sittin' there like a dummy? Why don't you write it down? 56 00:04:03,651 --> 00:04:05,902 If I could write I'd be in the navy. 57 00:04:06,032 --> 00:04:07,783 Where's the Dude? 58 00:04:07,903 --> 00:04:10,364 What is it with you? You can't wait 12 seconds? 59 00:04:10,494 --> 00:04:13,835 You got an appointment at the beauty parlor with that mop? 60 00:04:13,955 --> 00:04:17,297 Here, give me that. I'll write, you count. 61 00:04:17,417 --> 00:04:21,178 - If I could count I'd be in the army. - (both laugh) 62 00:04:21,298 --> 00:04:23,139 Why don't you laugh? It's funny. 63 00:04:23,259 --> 00:04:25,970 If I could laugh I wouldn't have heartburn. 64 00:04:26,100 --> 00:04:27,931 (explosion) 65 00:04:41,747 --> 00:04:44,998 Wanna know why Rudy Martin was found in the river? There it is. 66 00:04:45,128 --> 00:04:48,419 50 G's worth of I.O. Thems to the gambling boys. Hello, Annie. 67 00:04:48,549 --> 00:04:53,591 There's a note. "Thanks for everything. Take care of my baby Queenie." 68 00:04:53,722 --> 00:04:57,473 - What's "baby Queenie"? - Maybe he left you a horse. 69 00:04:57,603 --> 00:05:01,305 - There's a Queenie running at Hialeah. - That's right. Hey, Powder! 70 00:05:01,445 --> 00:05:06,687 - Thanks a lot. You did a good job in there. - For you, Dude, any time, boy. 71 00:05:07,197 --> 00:05:11,119 Annie, is that the biggest apple you got? I need a triple shot of luck today. 72 00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:14,170 This apple'll make the birds sing for you again. 73 00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:18,712 I tell you, kid, you get another sucker like my boss, you can retire altogether. 74 00:05:18,842 --> 00:05:21,593 This could only happen to a smart guy like you. 75 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:25,554 There's a man who owns a joint, gets knocked off owing you $20,000. 76 00:05:25,685 --> 00:05:29,726 And on top of that, you get stuck for the funeral bill. Go figure that. 77 00:05:29,856 --> 00:05:33,778 Fine thing you did, giving a poor soul a Christian burial. 78 00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:35,488 Here's luck for you. 79 00:05:35,619 --> 00:05:39,240 Something good's gonna happen to you now. Something real good. 80 00:05:39,370 --> 00:05:41,491 (Joy Boy) Yeah. You could break a leg. 81 00:05:41,621 --> 00:05:44,302 You give up panhandling, I'll give up bootlegging, 82 00:05:44,422 --> 00:05:48,544 and you and me will run this speak together. Could be a gold mine, Annie. 83 00:05:48,674 --> 00:05:52,675 No, I'm not kidding, Annie. Come on, let's see your gams. 84 00:05:52,806 --> 00:05:56,557 - Oh, boy. Whoopee! - How about that, huh? 85 00:05:56,687 --> 00:05:59,228 - Hello, suckers! - You old chiseling moocher. 86 00:05:59,358 --> 00:06:03,610 - Here. Here's a fiver for your apple. - God bless you, Dude. 87 00:06:03,740 --> 00:06:10,583 Annie, will you tell me, why do I always believe that your apples bring me luck? 88 00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:12,744 Can you tell me? 89 00:06:14,164 --> 00:06:17,926 Because the little people like you. 90 00:06:18,636 --> 00:06:22,137 - What little people? - Oh, you can't see 'em. 91 00:06:22,268 --> 00:06:25,219 They live in dreams. 92 00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:32,272 Little people like me, huh? Why? 93 00:06:32,402 --> 00:06:37,244 Because they like children, beggars and poets. 94 00:06:38,244 --> 00:06:40,285 And that makes me a poet? 95 00:06:40,415 --> 00:06:43,746 You want to believe in something. 96 00:06:43,876 --> 00:06:46,207 Right now it's my apple. 97 00:06:46,337 --> 00:06:51,049 So, the little people jump in it, see? 98 00:06:51,179 --> 00:06:54,641 That's why this apple will bring you luck. 99 00:06:57,062 --> 00:07:00,563 Why, you old con dame. Here's the only thing you believe in. 100 00:07:00,693 --> 00:07:04,445 - There you go, Annie. - God bless you, Dude. God bless you. 101 00:07:04,575 --> 00:07:07,866 - And bring you luck straightaway. - All right. 102 00:07:07,996 --> 00:07:11,858 Hey, Annie! You stay away from those gin bottles. You hear me? 103 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:14,539 - I never touch it. - Yeah, sure. 104 00:07:14,669 --> 00:07:18,760 - Are you Mr. Dave the Dude? - I am. Don't drip on my suit. 105 00:07:18,881 --> 00:07:23,182 What is this? Grand Central? Junior, close that door. There's liquor in here. 106 00:07:23,302 --> 00:07:28,464 You lookin' for a job in the chorus, kid? The joint's closed, so try someplace else. 107 00:07:28,604 --> 00:07:32,356 - And lock it! - I read this in a Maryland paper. 108 00:07:32,486 --> 00:07:35,867 "Rudy Martin, gangland victim, was buried today." 109 00:07:35,987 --> 00:07:38,328 "Dave the Dude arranged his funeral." 110 00:07:38,448 --> 00:07:41,960 - Maryland? Old Rudy really got around. - I beg your pardon? 111 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:46,752 If you got money comin' to you, the Dude is not pickin' up the tab for Rudy's bills. 112 00:07:46,882 --> 00:07:52,844 - Now be a nice girl. Take a walk. Bye. - Rudy Martin was my father. 113 00:07:56,356 --> 00:07:58,977 You're Rudy's kid? 114 00:07:59,107 --> 00:08:03,949 - You're Queenie? - Yeah. Well, that's what Papa called me. 115 00:08:04,069 --> 00:08:06,120 Hey! She ain't a horse! 116 00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:10,411 - Why didn't you show at the funeral? - I just read about it. 117 00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:14,793 - You ain't pulling a fast one on me? - Mr. Dude, I'm here because of you. 118 00:08:14,923 --> 00:08:17,845 Papa came to see me last month and he was very worried. 119 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:21,886 He said "Queenie, if anything happens to me, here's the lease to my club." 120 00:08:22,016 --> 00:08:26,398 "Give it to Dave the Dude. He's a right guy and I've got to pay him back." 121 00:08:26,518 --> 00:08:29,009 So here it is. It's all signed and everything. 122 00:08:29,149 --> 00:08:31,860 That's very nice, but the joint's in hock up to here. 123 00:08:31,990 --> 00:08:36,032 The inventory won't pay for the flowers, so the lease is worth about a quarter. 124 00:08:36,162 --> 00:08:39,333 Miss Martin, "Papa" owes me $20,000, 125 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:43,325 and a lot more to some guys who don't laugh so easy. 126 00:08:43,465 --> 00:08:45,506 - That much? - That much. 127 00:08:51,348 --> 00:08:54,890 Well, I've got a few dollars in the bank. 128 00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:59,692 What I make at the cafeteria, I could manage five dollars a week. 129 00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:02,863 - A cafeteria? - I'm cashier there. 130 00:09:02,993 --> 00:09:07,285 The next one Howard... uh, Mr. Porter opens, I'm gonna be manager. 131 00:09:07,415 --> 00:09:09,706 Then I could give you a little more. 132 00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:13,957 - It's five whole dollars. - The lucky apple is working already. 133 00:09:14,087 --> 00:09:18,039 - Very big. - It's the best I can do. 134 00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:24,812 Goodbye, Mr. Dude. Thank you for being Papa's friend. 135 00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:26,983 Yeah. I mean... 136 00:09:31,615 --> 00:09:36,366 That's the first broad I ever seen who wanted to do something for you. 137 00:09:36,497 --> 00:09:40,998 You know, maybe... 138 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:43,100 - Miss? - Hey, Dude! No! Come here! 139 00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:48,721 You know, at $5 a week it'll take you 200 years to pay off your father's debt. 140 00:09:48,842 --> 00:09:53,603 - I don't care if it takes a thousand years. - Take it easy. I got an idea. 141 00:09:53,724 --> 00:09:58,065 (Joy Boy) For my boss it was the lucky apple that brought Queenie into his life. 142 00:09:58,195 --> 00:10:00,906 Go figure - he's got a thing about Annie's apples. 143 00:10:04,448 --> 00:10:09,080 So the Dude shoots the bankroll and promotes Queenie into a nightclub star. 144 00:10:18,173 --> 00:10:21,345 Much to my surprise she ain't too bad. 145 00:10:23,306 --> 00:10:26,517 And you know what? The club begins to make money. 146 00:10:26,647 --> 00:10:32,739 And Queenie begins to pay off her papa's debts. Go figure that one. 147 00:10:32,869 --> 00:10:37,371 By the second year, the club is a sensation. 148 00:10:37,501 --> 00:10:39,542 (applause) 149 00:10:57,109 --> 00:10:58,690 We're in the big dough. 150 00:10:58,820 --> 00:11:01,111 Step back. The elevator's coming up. 151 00:11:01,241 --> 00:11:05,703 We're gettin' so big, the opposition begins playin' games with us. 152 00:11:13,676 --> 00:11:20,009 The Dude kisses the old apple, but I know better: I kiss the iron doors. 153 00:11:20,139 --> 00:11:22,179 (party horns) 154 00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,561 But it was too good to last. 155 00:11:25,691 --> 00:11:30,323 Suddenly the law pulls the rug out from under us bootleggers. 156 00:11:30,443 --> 00:11:34,955 - Another dollar? - Stop squawkin', stop squawkin'. 157 00:11:35,075 --> 00:11:38,326 I only raised you one buck. Tonight you can afford it. 158 00:11:38,456 --> 00:11:41,797 Liquor's legal. The whole town's on a binge. 159 00:11:42,798 --> 00:11:45,879 - # Baby, baby, baby - (chorus) # Baby, baby, baby 160 00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,641 - # Baby, baby, baby - # Baby, baby, baby 161 00:11:49,761 --> 00:11:51,261 - # I love you - # I love you 162 00:11:51,391 --> 00:11:54,182 # Hope you love me too 163 00:11:56,443 --> 00:11:57,854 Ooh! 164 00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,537 All right, you wonderful bunch of ex-lawbreakers. 165 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:08,578 This is the last night, the last song, and the last bottle's on the house! 166 00:12:08,708 --> 00:12:10,039 Hurray! 167 00:12:10,169 --> 00:12:12,920 (# lively band music) 168 00:12:17,182 --> 00:12:19,863 Does that mean we'll be playin', Dude? 169 00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:24,855 - You are a genius. You are a genius! - I know. Now tell me what happened. 170 00:12:24,985 --> 00:12:27,776 - The big man is here. - I told you so, huh? 171 00:12:27,906 --> 00:12:30,197 - And he's waitin' for you. - Let him wait. 172 00:12:30,317 --> 00:12:32,578 - What man? - I told you to find Apple Annie. 173 00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:35,279 I spread the word with the BBC - Beggars' Broadcast... 174 00:12:35,409 --> 00:12:37,460 - Move it! - Yes, sir. 175 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:41,712 What are you gonna do? Wait around for some apple? What's the matter with you? 176 00:12:41,842 --> 00:12:45,884 Listen, Dave. The big man don't wait easy. He could get very nasty. 177 00:12:46,014 --> 00:12:50,345 - He could put on them dark cheaters. - I'm not leaving here until I get my apple. 178 00:12:50,475 --> 00:12:52,516 All right. OK. 179 00:12:52,646 --> 00:12:55,778 I'll go look in a few gutters myself. 180 00:13:06,622 --> 00:13:08,663 Herbie! 181 00:13:09,253 --> 00:13:10,163 Shh! 182 00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:12,334 - Did you get it? - Don't I always? 183 00:13:12,464 --> 00:13:15,926 - Classiest stationery in the house. - God bless you, Herbie. 184 00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:19,307 A blind man could read that. "Hotel Marberry." 185 00:13:19,887 --> 00:13:23,649 - Give it to me. - When are you expecting another letter? 186 00:13:23,769 --> 00:13:26,320 The mail boat comes in tomorrow. 187 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:30,312 You know, I could get fired for stealing your letters. 188 00:13:31,282 --> 00:13:36,034 Herbie, you mustn't get fired. Please don't get fired. 189 00:13:37,454 --> 00:13:41,006 Who keeps writing you from Spain, anyway? 190 00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:43,297 None of your business. 191 00:13:43,427 --> 00:13:45,548 A heavy lover, eh, Annie? 192 00:13:45,678 --> 00:13:47,969 Yeah. King Alfonso. 193 00:13:48,099 --> 00:13:51,680 But keep it quiet. The queen gets very jealous. 194 00:13:51,810 --> 00:13:53,851 (both guffaw) 195 00:13:58,693 --> 00:14:00,194 (knocking) 196 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,787 Well! 197 00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:12,589 It's been two years I've been waiting for one like that. Come here, you. 198 00:14:12,719 --> 00:14:14,760 Oh, Queenie. 199 00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:16,971 (both) Mmm... 200 00:14:17,101 --> 00:14:19,672 - (muffled) Dude... - Mmm? What? 201 00:14:19,812 --> 00:14:22,143 The doorknob's killing me. 202 00:14:24,654 --> 00:14:26,695 The doorknob, huh? 203 00:14:28,195 --> 00:14:30,776 You gorgeous stack of cupcakes. Come here. 204 00:14:30,906 --> 00:14:33,827 - Now, Dude... - Come on now, Queenie. You started this. 205 00:14:33,957 --> 00:14:36,208 I was trying to thank you for everything. 206 00:14:36,328 --> 00:14:40,340 That's the way to kill a man, not thank him. Come here. 207 00:14:40,460 --> 00:14:43,591 - What's this? A party? - It's the Fourth of July. 208 00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:47,223 - In December? - It's freedom day for both of us. 209 00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:50,814 - You're through selling liquor. - Now it's legal, it's no fun. 210 00:14:50,934 --> 00:14:52,815 - I sold the club today. - You did? 211 00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,816 Did you bring 'em? Papa's IOUs? 212 00:14:57,317 --> 00:14:59,368 I brought 'em. 213 00:15:01,159 --> 00:15:03,409 There you are. 214 00:15:03,540 --> 00:15:06,221 The last of Papa's debts. 215 00:15:06,331 --> 00:15:10,332 Now we put them in the Easter fire and we burn the past. 216 00:15:11,003 --> 00:15:14,794 - Now you can make it Christmas, Dude. - Happy New Year. How? 217 00:15:14,924 --> 00:15:17,605 By saying you meant it when you asked me to marry you. 218 00:15:17,725 --> 00:15:21,147 Honey, I'll marry you. I'll fight Dempsey, kiss a cop, anything. 219 00:15:21,267 --> 00:15:23,518 Let's get started. Two years is a long wait. 220 00:15:23,648 --> 00:15:28,320 Saturday, darling. 10 A.M. Saturday we get married. It's all set. 221 00:15:28,450 --> 00:15:31,321 You're kidding. Really married? Us? 222 00:15:31,451 --> 00:15:36,253 The real us. No more Dude and no more Queenie. To David and Elizabeth. 223 00:15:36,373 --> 00:15:40,505 Mr. and Mrs. Conway of Silver Springs, Maryland, and their flock of children. 224 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,675 - Maryland? - Yeah. 225 00:15:42,805 --> 00:15:46,307 You know the house I was born in? I bought it for us a year ago. 226 00:15:46,427 --> 00:15:49,938 - You keep a secret real good. - Honey, I want to be married there, 227 00:15:50,058 --> 00:15:53,060 in Mama's wedding dress by the preacher who married them. 228 00:15:53,190 --> 00:15:55,521 Maybe I should go out and get my violin. 229 00:15:55,651 --> 00:15:57,742 (hums "Here Comes the Bride") 230 00:15:57,862 --> 00:16:03,824 It's sappy, I know. But let me be sappy. I'm sick of being Queenie Martin. 231 00:16:03,954 --> 00:16:06,335 Reverend Morgan's still down there. 232 00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:10,587 He's 81 years old and he's still conducting Sunday services. 233 00:16:10,717 --> 00:16:15,139 Dude, when I located him on the phone, he cried. Can you imagine? 234 00:16:15,259 --> 00:16:18,850 I cried too. It was the wettest long-distance call... 235 00:16:18,980 --> 00:16:21,771 Are you crying? I've never seen you cry. 236 00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:25,193 When I'm happy - when I'm really happy - I'm a Niagara. 237 00:16:28,954 --> 00:16:33,036 OK, Elizabeth. To us. 238 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:40,419 To the wedding in your mother's wedding dress... by the 81-year-old preacher. 239 00:16:40,549 --> 00:16:44,641 - Oh, Dude, Niagara's coming! - Watch it. This stuff burns holes, baby. 240 00:16:44,761 --> 00:16:47,442 - I'm sorry. - That's all right. 241 00:16:52,234 --> 00:16:54,275 Oh, Queenie... 242 00:16:59,157 --> 00:17:00,997 Dude, Annie's here. Let's go. 243 00:17:01,117 --> 00:17:03,578 - Annie? - I'll be right out! 244 00:17:03,708 --> 00:17:06,750 What do you need an apple for? What more luck do we need? 245 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,001 You just gave me a wedding present - the place in Maryland. 246 00:17:10,131 --> 00:17:13,632 I'm gonna give you one. An all-year house on a silver platter. 247 00:17:13,762 --> 00:17:16,514 - The whole city of New York. - I don't want New York. 248 00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:20,765 I want a little town in Maryland where I can play the wife-and-mother bit. 249 00:17:20,895 --> 00:17:23,987 You can shake this. You didn't want it in the first place. 250 00:17:24,107 --> 00:17:26,738 - But I'm a man who needs a little action. - Action? 251 00:17:26,868 --> 00:17:28,699 - Prohibition's over. - (knocking) 252 00:17:28,829 --> 00:17:31,540 Hey, Dude, the man is waitin'. 253 00:17:32,210 --> 00:17:35,711 - All right, all right. - What man? Who are you seeing tonight? 254 00:17:35,831 --> 00:17:40,803 I'm making a meet with our future, sweetheart. Mr. Big himself. 255 00:17:40,924 --> 00:17:43,885 - Not Darcey? - You're right. Darcey. 256 00:17:44,015 --> 00:17:46,476 Dude, no. You're not going to Chicago? 257 00:17:46,596 --> 00:17:50,818 No. The mountain is coming to the Dude. I'm not going to Chicago. 258 00:17:50,938 --> 00:17:54,069 Darcey in New York? The police said they'd never let him in. 259 00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:56,950 They didn't let him in. I did. 260 00:17:57,070 --> 00:18:01,662 Please, not Darcey. He's an animal. He's a murderer. He's Public Enemy No.1. 261 00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:05,203 - It's all headlines. - Dude, will you move it? Let's go. 262 00:18:05,333 --> 00:18:09,465 Your car's outside. We can be in Maryland by morning. We can make it legal. 263 00:18:09,595 --> 00:18:12,506 If you love me, don't depend on some witch's apples. 264 00:18:12,636 --> 00:18:17,348 - Let's get away. We'll be real people. - Simmer down, sweetheart. Come on. 265 00:18:17,478 --> 00:18:20,440 We go out into the sticks, what kind of work am I gonna do? 266 00:18:20,570 --> 00:18:23,321 You're young. You can make a name, money... 267 00:18:23,441 --> 00:18:28,903 What's money? I started at the bottom in this town and I'm going right up to the top. 268 00:18:29,033 --> 00:18:32,244 I can outsmart those monkeys. I've been doing it all my life. 269 00:18:32,374 --> 00:18:34,915 Ever since I escaped from that orphanage. 270 00:18:35,046 --> 00:18:39,587 And why? Because I'm good and because I'm lucky. 271 00:18:39,717 --> 00:18:42,799 I'm gonna be somebody, and you're gonna be somebody with me. 272 00:18:42,929 --> 00:18:45,610 - (knocking) - I'm coming. 273 00:18:46,890 --> 00:18:50,482 Dude, if you shack up with Darcey you can forget the wedding. 274 00:18:50,612 --> 00:18:52,653 Isn't she gorgeous? 275 00:18:54,403 --> 00:18:57,195 - Heads. - Oh! 276 00:18:57,325 --> 00:19:01,026 - What's grabbin' her? - It's nothing. She just wants a lot of kids. 277 00:19:01,166 --> 00:19:04,287 Kids? Boy, they're mean when they get on that kick. 278 00:19:05,458 --> 00:19:08,089 Annie, where you been? Playing Chase Me Charlie? 279 00:19:08,219 --> 00:19:11,090 And where were you Saturday? I couldn't beat a race. 280 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:15,142 God bless you, Dude. I wasn't feelin' so hot Saturday. 281 00:19:15,262 --> 00:19:18,313 - Ginned up again? - No, Dude. Honest, I'm off the stuff. 282 00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:20,984 About time. Dr. Michel says your kidneys are shot. 283 00:19:21,104 --> 00:19:24,896 Aw, pooh. My kidneys are as good as new - better. 284 00:19:25,026 --> 00:19:28,657 You think we could postpone this discussion of Annie's kidneys? 285 00:19:28,787 --> 00:19:30,828 Lots of luck, Dude. 286 00:19:34,630 --> 00:19:37,711 Save a lot of trouble if you bought the whole basket at once. 287 00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:41,423 I gotta buy these apples one at a time just before I need 'em. 288 00:19:41,553 --> 00:19:44,234 We were both bums until we found that out. 289 00:19:44,354 --> 00:19:47,855 Let's go. Pick-up point, the warehouse. 290 00:19:49,896 --> 00:19:51,937 God bless Dave the Dude. 291 00:19:55,698 --> 00:19:58,109 God bless all my friends. 292 00:20:04,962 --> 00:20:07,133 (horn) 293 00:20:07,253 --> 00:20:09,174 That's the boss. 294 00:20:09,304 --> 00:20:11,425 - Dude's here. Set? - Set. 295 00:20:44,978 --> 00:20:48,230 - He's got his dark cheaters on, boss. - Uh-oh. 296 00:20:55,323 --> 00:20:57,864 You're late. 297 00:21:09,678 --> 00:21:12,219 Late for what? 298 00:21:12,810 --> 00:21:17,061 Late for what? For 48 hours I've been knocking around in this cage 299 00:21:17,191 --> 00:21:18,812 all the way from Chicago. 300 00:21:18,942 --> 00:21:21,483 I'm seasick. 301 00:21:21,613 --> 00:21:24,484 Don't any of you guys ever inhale? 302 00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:27,826 Like being in solitary, only it moves. 303 00:21:27,956 --> 00:21:31,957 Fine thing, some two-bit operator sends for me in his upholstered boxcar 304 00:21:32,088 --> 00:21:37,250 and first thing you know, I'm being hauled all over the country like a side of beef. 305 00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:42,682 - This your layout? - Yeah. I built it. 306 00:21:42,812 --> 00:21:46,183 See these walls? Bulletproof. 307 00:21:46,313 --> 00:21:50,905 In town it's neutral territory, even when there's a war on. I call it Little Switzerland. 308 00:21:51,025 --> 00:21:56,107 What do the cops call it? They find me in this town, you can stop the presses. 309 00:21:56,247 --> 00:22:00,829 There's ten vans just like this hauling real furniture around. Here you're safe. 310 00:22:00,959 --> 00:22:03,000 That picture's ten years old. 311 00:22:03,130 --> 00:22:06,301 Relax, Darcey. Take it easy. Be my guest. 312 00:22:06,421 --> 00:22:12,644 Your guest? Ever occur to you that I could also be your prisoner? Ever think of that? 313 00:22:13,804 --> 00:22:16,356 Yeah, I gave it a quick think. 314 00:22:16,476 --> 00:22:20,897 Maybe you'd better give a long think to a guy by the name of Stiff Arm Sam. 315 00:22:21,027 --> 00:22:23,158 He once thought he could hold me too. 316 00:22:23,278 --> 00:22:25,819 Stiff Arm? The guy that walks around like this? 317 00:22:25,949 --> 00:22:28,631 Yeah, with the blowtorch in the armpits. 318 00:22:28,751 --> 00:22:31,152 That's right. That's my idea, the blowtorch. 319 00:22:31,292 --> 00:22:33,332 It must've hurt. 320 00:22:35,383 --> 00:22:39,215 It's against the law to carry firearms in New York, Darcey. Right, Joy Boy? 321 00:22:39,345 --> 00:22:42,226 That's right. Here in New York you gotta have a permit. 322 00:22:42,346 --> 00:22:46,898 - Nothin', boss. - Yeah. It's beginnin' to figure. 323 00:22:47,018 --> 00:22:50,860 They tell me you've been operatin' ten years in this town without a pinch. 324 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,861 Yeah. Luck, Mr. Darcey. Pure luck. 325 00:22:53,991 --> 00:22:57,372 I heard about the luck bit. The thing with the lucky apples. 326 00:22:57,492 --> 00:23:01,624 The wise guys figure that's two strikes against you. 327 00:23:01,754 --> 00:23:02,834 - Oh? - Yeah. 328 00:23:02,964 --> 00:23:07,086 They say you gotta buy them lucky apples off of some little old lady, right? 329 00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:09,347 And if something happens to her... 330 00:23:09,467 --> 00:23:14,309 Could be like Samson gettin' his first haircut. 331 00:23:14,979 --> 00:23:18,811 Look, Darcey. I got news for you. You see these apples? 332 00:23:18,941 --> 00:23:21,732 I buy 'em by the crate at the nearest grocery store. 333 00:23:21,862 --> 00:23:24,953 The wise guys want to believe these apples bring me luck, 334 00:23:25,073 --> 00:23:27,414 it's two strikes against them. 335 00:23:27,534 --> 00:23:30,456 You know about psychology, huh? 336 00:23:30,586 --> 00:23:33,547 Yeah, I know about... whatever you call it. 337 00:23:33,667 --> 00:23:38,719 It's like your dark glasses. You put those on, the boys sweat from here to Omaha. 338 00:23:38,849 --> 00:23:41,310 Me? I use apples. 339 00:23:46,812 --> 00:23:49,774 All right. Shall we quit clowning? 340 00:23:54,325 --> 00:23:56,366 (both chuckle) 341 00:23:57,707 --> 00:24:00,998 I like the way this kid operates, yeah. 342 00:24:01,128 --> 00:24:03,339 Smart boy. Smart dresser, too. 343 00:24:03,459 --> 00:24:06,880 - You like that? - Oh, yeah. It's rich. 344 00:24:07,011 --> 00:24:09,972 - He likes it. - Mind if I try that on? 345 00:24:10,102 --> 00:24:13,393 No. Why not? Give him a hand, Junior. 346 00:24:13,523 --> 00:24:15,564 Hold it, Junior. 347 00:24:17,025 --> 00:24:19,065 They say you're a smart operator. 348 00:24:19,195 --> 00:24:24,358 Gotta give you credit. You won the first round. This is round two comin' up now. 349 00:24:24,498 --> 00:24:26,538 - How does it look? - Great. 350 00:24:26,659 --> 00:24:28,999 Nice color, huh? 351 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:31,500 Round two. 352 00:24:31,631 --> 00:24:34,672 I got maybe eight, ten top candidates for this job. 353 00:24:34,802 --> 00:24:39,054 All smart, tough, hard-headed guys, and I can take my pick of any one of 'em. 354 00:24:39,184 --> 00:24:44,476 Now suppose you tell me, in ten words or less, like a telegram, 355 00:24:44,606 --> 00:24:50,528 why should Steve Darcey give the New York territory to Dave the Dude? 356 00:24:50,658 --> 00:24:52,609 Go ahead, talk. 357 00:24:52,739 --> 00:24:55,830 - That's a good question. Right, Joy Boy? - Beautiful. 358 00:24:55,950 --> 00:24:57,201 - Got an answer? - No. 359 00:24:57,331 --> 00:24:58,331 - Got a question? - Yeah. 360 00:24:58,461 --> 00:25:01,963 Ask it - in ten words, like a telegram. 361 00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:07,335 Why should Dave the Dude give New York territory to Darcey? 362 00:25:07,475 --> 00:25:10,176 That's eleven, but... 363 00:25:10,306 --> 00:25:12,847 - Are you his mouthpiece? - Call me his doormat. 364 00:25:12,977 --> 00:25:15,018 Why don't you lay down and act like one? 365 00:25:15,148 --> 00:25:17,609 Darcey, Joy Boy happens to be my friend, 366 00:25:17,739 --> 00:25:21,241 and all my friends are nine feet tall and make very bad doormats. 367 00:25:21,361 --> 00:25:24,572 You bootleggers, you were nine feet tall. 368 00:25:24,702 --> 00:25:29,784 All big fish in a little pond, but all of a sudden all the little ponds are dryin' up. 369 00:25:29,914 --> 00:25:33,866 That's where the king comes in. I'm makin' me a national syndicate. 370 00:25:34,006 --> 00:25:37,877 I'm gonna push some of you gaspin' sharks back in the water. 371 00:25:38,018 --> 00:25:41,679 But it's gonna be my water. It'll cover the whole country. 372 00:25:41,809 --> 00:25:44,490 - Deep water. - Deep, huh? 373 00:25:44,610 --> 00:25:47,441 How deep? Dames? Dope? That's a little over my head. 374 00:25:47,571 --> 00:25:50,693 Come on. That's bush league. 375 00:25:50,823 --> 00:25:53,704 We're gonna operate from presidential suites. 376 00:25:53,824 --> 00:25:57,996 We're gonna elect judges, contribute to charities, finance operas. 377 00:25:58,126 --> 00:26:01,667 We're gonna be in the big, profitable business 378 00:26:01,797 --> 00:26:05,259 of catering for all human weaknesses. 379 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:13,682 - What would be my cut? - Your cut? The New York territory? 380 00:26:13,812 --> 00:26:16,563 Right down the middle. If you're the right guy. 381 00:26:16,693 --> 00:26:18,734 He's the only guy. 382 00:26:18,864 --> 00:26:25,787 There's one more little detail. We request the franchise holders to put up $50,000. 383 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:28,918 In small bills. 384 00:26:29,959 --> 00:26:31,999 As a token of their good faith. 385 00:26:33,090 --> 00:26:35,261 - Who's driving? - Herman. 386 00:26:37,012 --> 00:26:38,472 - Herman? - Yeah. 387 00:26:38,602 --> 00:26:42,434 Take Mr. Darcey anywhere he wants to go while he's in town. He's my guest. 388 00:26:42,564 --> 00:26:46,695 - Drop me off at the nearest goods stop. - OK, boss. 389 00:26:46,816 --> 00:26:49,867 Wait a minute. You're not interested? 390 00:26:49,987 --> 00:26:52,158 No, not right now. 391 00:26:52,288 --> 00:26:56,620 Because, you see, this is one fish that isn't jumping into anybody's pond 392 00:26:56,750 --> 00:27:03,122 unless I'm paid $100,000 in cash as a token of your good faith. 393 00:27:03,262 --> 00:27:05,713 You want the syndicate to pay you? 394 00:27:05,843 --> 00:27:08,975 I'm the lucky one, remember? 395 00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:13,436 All right, boys, let's go. We got some ponds that need watering real bad. 396 00:27:13,566 --> 00:27:18,728 Oh, if you get an itch for any of those human weaknesses yourself, just holler. 397 00:27:18,859 --> 00:27:21,360 This is my town, Darcey. 398 00:27:21,490 --> 00:27:24,661 Wait a minute. Like I said, I like your style. 399 00:27:24,791 --> 00:27:27,252 But you know the rules as good as I do, kid. 400 00:27:27,372 --> 00:27:32,624 The king makes an offer, the king gets turned down, the king loses face. 401 00:27:33,424 --> 00:27:36,106 On a king that coat looks good. 402 00:27:36,226 --> 00:27:38,266 Wear it. 403 00:27:38,386 --> 00:27:40,437 Sheeh! 404 00:27:43,979 --> 00:27:48,110 That guy is gonna play on my side or he ain't gonna play at all. 405 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,942 If it was me, I'd warm up the blowtorch. 406 00:27:54,453 --> 00:27:57,164 - Any mail? - Tomorrow. 407 00:27:58,335 --> 00:28:00,375 (recites in Latin) 408 00:28:11,310 --> 00:28:14,811 Ooh! He uses a blowtorch on people? What does he do - weld 'em? 409 00:28:14,941 --> 00:28:18,533 King. I don't like that guy. 410 00:28:18,653 --> 00:28:20,694 Be fun to take him apart, huh, Joy Boy? 411 00:28:20,824 --> 00:28:23,615 Be a load of laughs. All the way up to our funeral. 412 00:28:45,194 --> 00:28:47,234 (sighs) 413 00:29:22,079 --> 00:29:26,500 (# "Arab Dance" from "The Nutcracker Suite" by Tchaikovsky) 414 00:29:39,226 --> 00:29:40,606 Scat. 415 00:29:41,567 --> 00:29:43,607 Scat. Scat. 416 00:29:45,488 --> 00:29:50,840 Lying all over my poor baby's picture. 417 00:29:50,950 --> 00:29:53,201 (kiss) 418 00:29:53,331 --> 00:29:56,793 As if it were the only place to sleep. 419 00:30:08,558 --> 00:30:12,689 My... darling... 420 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,491 Louise. 421 00:30:35,559 --> 00:30:38,890 I just love Annie's music. 422 00:30:40,981 --> 00:30:44,822 ...the reception... 423 00:30:47,403 --> 00:30:50,285 I gave... 424 00:30:52,075 --> 00:30:54,126 for... 425 00:31:07,932 --> 00:31:14,064 for... Lord... Ferncliffe. 426 00:31:14,194 --> 00:31:16,365 (record sticks) 427 00:31:16,485 --> 00:31:18,826 Here's to Lord Ferncliffe. 428 00:31:24,128 --> 00:31:27,420 (record continues playing normally) 429 00:31:29,841 --> 00:31:37,104 "You will notice I have increased your allowance this year." 430 00:31:38,684 --> 00:31:46,517 "It breaks my heart that I have not been able to see you all these years, 431 00:31:46,657 --> 00:31:54,080 but Dr. Michel still insists an ocean voyage could be fatal." 432 00:31:54,211 --> 00:31:56,251 The old crab. 433 00:32:04,845 --> 00:32:11,938 "Your stepfather thought he might be able to make the trip this year." 434 00:32:13,238 --> 00:32:17,610 You didn't know you had a stepfather, did you? 435 00:32:19,241 --> 00:32:21,292 Neither did I. 436 00:32:24,503 --> 00:32:30,635 "The young man you wrote about sounds perfectly divine." 437 00:32:30,755 --> 00:32:39,559 "I hope he loves you as much as you love him." 438 00:32:41,730 --> 00:32:46,892 And as much as I love you, 439 00:32:48,783 --> 00:32:51,784 my darling. 440 00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:09,321 Herbie, the boat's in. Did you... 441 00:33:09,441 --> 00:33:11,482 Where's your uniform? 442 00:33:11,612 --> 00:33:15,734 You gin-guzzling witch. On account of you I got the sack. 443 00:33:15,864 --> 00:33:18,955 - Herbie, you can't get fired. - Can't, eh? 444 00:33:19,075 --> 00:33:22,777 They caught me putting your lousy letter in my pocket. 445 00:33:22,917 --> 00:33:26,258 - Where is it? - What am I gonna tell my old lady? 446 00:33:26,378 --> 00:33:31,010 - Where's my letter? - I don't know. They took it away from me. 447 00:33:33,681 --> 00:33:35,312 Annie. 448 00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:39,063 Annie! You can't go in there! Annie! 449 00:33:46,156 --> 00:33:51,318 You must be in the wrong place, ma'am. Pedlars aren't allowed. 450 00:34:04,974 --> 00:34:07,145 I beg your pardon. 451 00:34:07,275 --> 00:34:09,766 Oh, my gracious stars. 452 00:34:10,396 --> 00:34:13,237 I have some mail here. A letter? 453 00:34:13,367 --> 00:34:15,368 From Barcelona, Spain? 454 00:34:15,488 --> 00:34:18,619 - A letter? - It came for me this morning. 455 00:34:18,749 --> 00:34:22,041 Are you stopping here, my good woman? 456 00:34:22,171 --> 00:34:24,001 No, I'm not. 457 00:34:24,131 --> 00:34:27,343 But I do have a letter here. Please. 458 00:34:27,463 --> 00:34:31,304 - What is your name? - Mrs. E Worthington Manville. 459 00:34:32,135 --> 00:34:34,596 Mrs. E Worthington Manville? 460 00:34:35,936 --> 00:34:37,977 Wait here. 461 00:34:38,107 --> 00:34:39,978 Mrs. E Worthington Manville. 462 00:35:00,556 --> 00:35:04,978 Good afternoon, Mrs. Manville. Is there anything I can do for you? 463 00:35:05,098 --> 00:35:08,059 There's a letter here for me. I'd like to get it. 464 00:35:08,189 --> 00:35:11,611 A letter? Addressed to the Hotel Marberry? 465 00:35:11,741 --> 00:35:13,942 Yes. I told that fella all about it. 466 00:35:14,072 --> 00:35:16,533 Are you sure you're not mistaken, my dear lady? 467 00:35:16,663 --> 00:35:21,375 No, I'm not mistaken. I've been getting my letters here for years. 468 00:35:21,505 --> 00:35:24,836 Madam, you're not a guest of the Marberry, are you? 469 00:35:24,966 --> 00:35:30,929 - Of course not. Any fool could see that. - Please, there's no necessity for shouting. 470 00:35:31,059 --> 00:35:37,141 Then why don't you give me my letter? Why keep asking stupid questions? 471 00:35:37,271 --> 00:35:40,563 Madam, I'm compelled to ask you to leave these premises. 472 00:35:40,693 --> 00:35:45,034 - No. Not till I get my letter. - Shall I call the police, Mr. Cole? 473 00:35:45,154 --> 00:35:50,036 Send for the police. I'm no criminal. I haven't done anything. 474 00:35:51,997 --> 00:35:56,759 Please, mister. I don't want to make any trouble. 475 00:35:56,879 --> 00:35:59,760 I just want my letter, that's all. 476 00:35:59,890 --> 00:36:03,262 It's from my daughter, see. 477 00:36:03,392 --> 00:36:07,644 It came all the way from Spain. She... 478 00:36:07,774 --> 00:36:10,405 She thinks I'm somebody. 479 00:36:11,575 --> 00:36:13,616 Please? 480 00:36:14,997 --> 00:36:16,577 Lloyd. 481 00:36:17,828 --> 00:36:19,869 Yes, Mr. Cole? 482 00:36:19,999 --> 00:36:22,920 Do you recall a letter addressed to a Mrs. Manville? 483 00:36:23,050 --> 00:36:26,381 - Mrs. E Worthington Manville. - E Worthington... 484 00:36:26,511 --> 00:36:28,592 Why, yes. It came this morning. 485 00:36:28,722 --> 00:36:32,184 - You see? I told you. - Let her have it. 486 00:36:32,304 --> 00:36:34,855 God bless you. God bless you! 487 00:36:34,975 --> 00:36:39,236 - What are you waiting for? Get the letter. - But I sent it back. 488 00:36:39,356 --> 00:36:43,528 - You sent it back? - I returned it marked "Party not known". 489 00:36:43,658 --> 00:36:49,251 You can't send it back. She'll find out that I don't live here. Don't you see? 490 00:36:49,371 --> 00:36:50,871 Shh. Please. 491 00:36:51,001 --> 00:36:54,703 - Has the mail gone out yet? - Yes. The boy picked it up a twinkle ago. 492 00:36:54,843 --> 00:36:57,054 Look. There he is now. 493 00:36:57,174 --> 00:36:58,454 Boy! 494 00:36:58,594 --> 00:37:00,595 Boy! Yoo-hoo! Stop! 495 00:37:00,725 --> 00:37:03,476 She can't do that in here. Stop her. 496 00:37:03,606 --> 00:37:07,308 Don't put any more letters in that box! 497 00:37:07,438 --> 00:37:08,979 (dog barks) 498 00:37:09,109 --> 00:37:12,200 (manager) Where do you think you are? Madam! 499 00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:15,201 There it is. I'd know it anywhere. 500 00:37:19,663 --> 00:37:24,005 - Thank you, sir. - Leave this hotel at once. 501 00:37:24,135 --> 00:37:26,626 Here. 502 00:37:26,756 --> 00:37:28,807 Bless you, sir. 503 00:38:00,850 --> 00:38:03,311 (car horns) 504 00:38:15,496 --> 00:38:17,536 (car horns distorted) 505 00:38:30,062 --> 00:38:32,102 (silence) 506 00:38:33,893 --> 00:38:35,934 (distorted voices) 507 00:38:37,775 --> 00:38:40,486 My letter. Where's my letter? 508 00:38:40,616 --> 00:38:44,537 - Grab my hand. - Grab her hand. Here we go. Up. 509 00:38:44,657 --> 00:38:47,539 - I'm all right. Let me go. - There you are. 510 00:38:47,669 --> 00:38:50,540 (woman) Just as I said: with Prohibition repealed, 511 00:38:50,670 --> 00:38:55,752 you'll see our streets full of nasty old drunks like that. 512 00:38:58,683 --> 00:39:00,724 (car horns distorted) 513 00:39:07,447 --> 00:39:12,119 Listen, Flyaway. Are you the smartest agent in town, or you're just a lot of talk? 514 00:39:13,449 --> 00:39:14,950 Your butter I don't need. 515 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:18,371 You want four bodyguards? They get 100 a week, I get 100. 516 00:39:18,501 --> 00:39:20,792 - With guns. - Then I get 200. 517 00:39:20,922 --> 00:39:24,424 - Why you? They got the guns. - What's guns? I got the permits. 518 00:39:24,554 --> 00:39:29,976 All right. They gotta be from out of town, dress nice and only shoot in self-defense. 519 00:39:30,096 --> 00:39:32,017 You want four Tom Mixs. 520 00:39:32,147 --> 00:39:35,728 - You don't owe me a favor? - Do I owe you a movie star? 521 00:39:35,858 --> 00:39:39,530 You were in deep trouble. I sneaked you out of town in Little Switz. 522 00:39:39,660 --> 00:39:42,951 - What do you want? My wife? - Which one? 523 00:39:43,661 --> 00:39:46,202 Who do you want protected? 524 00:39:46,333 --> 00:39:49,584 But he can't know nothin' about it. 525 00:39:49,714 --> 00:39:52,175 The boss. 526 00:39:52,295 --> 00:39:56,087 The Dude? I wouldn't do that for one million dollars! 527 00:39:56,217 --> 00:39:59,218 - Hey, what are you talkin' about? - The Dude is hot. 528 00:39:59,348 --> 00:40:01,809 I never was here. Get yourself the marines. 529 00:40:01,939 --> 00:40:04,310 What? Hey, you creep, where are you goin'? 530 00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,521 It was all over town in two minutes. He insulted a king. 531 00:40:07,651 --> 00:40:10,362 King? What king? 532 00:40:10,492 --> 00:40:13,574 Who remembers faces? I don't remember... 533 00:40:13,704 --> 00:40:15,534 - Queenie. - It was open. 534 00:40:15,664 --> 00:40:18,125 - Where's the king of New York? - Where you been? 535 00:40:18,256 --> 00:40:20,656 The Dude's lookin' for you. He read Winchell. 536 00:40:20,797 --> 00:40:23,588 Just returning a few items I won't need any longer. 537 00:40:23,718 --> 00:40:27,639 Two kings of New York, and one needs a bodyguard? He ain't my client. 538 00:40:27,769 --> 00:40:30,601 - (phone) - Flyaway, stay here. I gotta talk to you. 539 00:40:30,731 --> 00:40:33,302 Hey, Flyaway, there's a 10G bonus. 540 00:40:33,442 --> 00:40:34,442 Hello. 541 00:40:34,562 --> 00:40:36,483 Junior, what do you want? 542 00:40:36,613 --> 00:40:40,735 I am here with two representatives of our out-of-town friend, Mr. Bigelow. 543 00:40:40,865 --> 00:40:43,906 - Bigelow? What Bigelow? - The Chicago Big... elow. 544 00:40:44,036 --> 00:40:46,957 He wants to see the boss right away to negotiate a deal. 545 00:40:47,087 --> 00:40:50,709 Holy cow. The deal is still on and the Dude ain't here. 546 00:40:50,839 --> 00:40:54,970 Look, Junior, you gotta stall 'em, because I gotta think in my head. 547 00:40:55,090 --> 00:40:58,432 Tell him to hurry up. Mr. B has a touch of mal de mer. 548 00:40:58,562 --> 00:41:00,063 Mal de what? 549 00:41:00,183 --> 00:41:02,023 Oh, you mean seasickness. 550 00:41:02,143 --> 00:41:07,606 Just get the car and come right over. Wait a minute. He's gonna need an apple. 551 00:41:07,736 --> 00:41:12,658 Stop off at Schubert Alley, get the bag and her apples. Don't stop to play stickball. 552 00:41:14,288 --> 00:41:18,210 - You. There you are. - Hey, Dude. The man's on the phone. 553 00:41:18,340 --> 00:41:21,591 The man wants to negotiate a deal! 554 00:41:21,711 --> 00:41:25,223 - Is this true, what I read in Winchell's? - I suppose you can read. 555 00:41:25,343 --> 00:41:29,765 Why, you two-timing dame. Are you leaving me for that cafeteria clown? 556 00:41:29,895 --> 00:41:31,565 Yeah. The wedding's Saturday. 557 00:41:31,685 --> 00:41:34,436 You two-timing dame. You ain't even been one-timed! 558 00:41:34,567 --> 00:41:37,488 You ain't walking out on me after what I did for you. 559 00:41:37,608 --> 00:41:40,699 I took you from nothing and made you into something. 560 00:41:40,829 --> 00:41:44,040 So I could become a gangster's flashy moll? Not me, mister! 561 00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:48,712 You ain't walking out on me. You hear me, Queenie? I'm Dave the Dude. 562 00:41:48,832 --> 00:41:51,383 I'm not walking. I'm running! 563 00:41:54,054 --> 00:41:57,056 Now you listen to me, Queenie. Watch it! 564 00:41:57,186 --> 00:41:59,757 - You! - Watch it, Queenie. 565 00:41:59,897 --> 00:42:03,818 - What are they doing? - Playing house. What, are you still here? 566 00:42:03,938 --> 00:42:07,810 - The bodyguards. I just thought of four... - Look, I'm a busy man. 567 00:42:07,950 --> 00:42:10,781 What's the matter with you? Take a walk! Out! 568 00:42:10,911 --> 00:42:12,952 (smashing glass) 569 00:42:20,335 --> 00:42:22,386 Flyaway! 570 00:42:25,177 --> 00:42:27,218 No, you're not going out that door. 571 00:42:27,348 --> 00:42:30,889 You owe me one thing, Queenie, and I'm gonna collect. 572 00:42:31,020 --> 00:42:35,691 You ain't leaving here with that halo still on your head. 573 00:42:35,821 --> 00:42:37,862 (Queenie squeals) 574 00:42:48,086 --> 00:42:52,878 This place is like the inside of a goat's stomach. Hey, Dave? Dave? 575 00:42:53,008 --> 00:42:59,601 Hey, Dave. Look, I don't wanna butt in. Excuse me for interruptin', Dave, but... 576 00:43:00,231 --> 00:43:03,063 - Dave... - Man, you have the worst sense of timing. 577 00:43:03,193 --> 00:43:05,564 I hate to interrupt, 578 00:43:05,694 --> 00:43:10,245 - but I just got a message from Junior. - From Darcey? What did he say? 579 00:43:10,366 --> 00:43:13,077 - Get me a pair of pants. - Change your own diaper! 580 00:43:13,207 --> 00:43:17,879 I said pants me! And fix yourself up. Make yourself decent. What'd he say? 581 00:43:18,009 --> 00:43:20,460 In front of her? She's marrying JP Cafeteria. 582 00:43:20,590 --> 00:43:24,051 I don't care if she marries J Edgar Hoover. Now what did he say? 583 00:43:24,181 --> 00:43:31,434 Dave, I could hardly believe it, but Darcey wants to meet with you again, right away. 584 00:43:31,564 --> 00:43:35,266 - Didn't I tell you he'd come around? - Yeah, that he'd come around. 585 00:43:35,406 --> 00:43:39,527 Look, this is worth millions. Let's not blow the whole cake to win a little crumb. 586 00:43:39,657 --> 00:43:41,498 Will you stop worrying? 587 00:43:41,618 --> 00:43:46,630 - Others pay him. Why should he pay you? - I'm Dave the Dude, not one of the others. 588 00:43:46,750 --> 00:43:48,791 - Now go get Annie. - Yeah, go get Annie. 589 00:43:48,921 --> 00:43:52,793 That's all taken care of. Junior's bringing her over right now. 590 00:43:56,304 --> 00:43:59,976 - (car hoots) - Why don't you look where you're going? 591 00:44:00,106 --> 00:44:02,147 (hooting) 592 00:44:02,277 --> 00:44:04,317 (phone) 593 00:44:04,778 --> 00:44:06,608 Yeah. 594 00:44:06,738 --> 00:44:09,490 - We're on our way. - You're keepin' Darcey waitin'. 595 00:44:09,620 --> 00:44:12,451 - So let him wait. - You can't. The man is king. 596 00:44:12,581 --> 00:44:15,872 The king loses face, our heads go on display in the marketplace. 597 00:44:16,002 --> 00:44:19,083 You've been reading books again. Where the hell is Annie? 598 00:44:19,214 --> 00:44:20,884 Annie. Annie! 599 00:44:21,004 --> 00:44:23,055 Big shots. Big dopes! 600 00:44:23,175 --> 00:44:26,807 Your life depends on a beggar's apples, and this superstitious heel... 601 00:44:26,937 --> 00:44:30,148 - Are you still here? - You'll wind up in the federal pen. 602 00:44:30,268 --> 00:44:32,899 Or swimming with your feet in cement, like Papa. 603 00:44:33,029 --> 00:44:37,321 - That's why I'm marrying Howard Porter. - Don't keep the groom waiting. 604 00:44:37,451 --> 00:44:39,822 - Not another minute! - Get back in there. 605 00:44:39,952 --> 00:44:41,953 - If I could only cry! - Queenie! 606 00:44:44,124 --> 00:44:48,716 Dude, I can't find Apple Annie anywhere. She ain't nowhere, I'm telling you. 607 00:44:48,836 --> 00:44:50,796 I hope she croaks! 608 00:44:50,926 --> 00:44:53,387 What do you mean, you can't find her anywhere? 609 00:44:53,517 --> 00:44:57,099 All you gotta do is ask any panhandler on Broadway. 610 00:44:57,229 --> 00:45:00,190 - There ain't no panhandlers on Broadway. - What? 611 00:45:00,310 --> 00:45:02,191 There ain't a beggar on the street. 612 00:45:02,361 --> 00:45:06,063 It's scary. It's like Broadway was naked. I'm ashamed to look at it. 613 00:45:06,203 --> 00:45:09,324 (Smiley) Hi, Mr. Dude, fellas. 614 00:45:09,454 --> 00:45:13,706 Well, the Easter Parade's a little early this year. 615 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:18,167 - No panhandlers on Broadway, huh? - I didn't see 'em before, boss. 616 00:45:18,298 --> 00:45:20,709 - I should drop dead... - Maybe you should. 617 00:45:20,839 --> 00:45:22,509 It's only an expression. 618 00:45:22,639 --> 00:45:25,560 - Any of you crumbs seen Apple Annie? - Yeah, I saw her. 619 00:45:25,681 --> 00:45:27,721 One at a time. You. 620 00:45:27,851 --> 00:45:29,892 - It's about Annie. - What about Annie? 621 00:45:30,022 --> 00:45:32,593 - She's in a pickle. - Pickled. I can believe that. 622 00:45:32,733 --> 00:45:36,235 Mallethead saw her on the waterfront, in the water looking. 623 00:45:36,365 --> 00:45:38,936 She was stumblin' along, talkin' to herself. 624 00:45:39,076 --> 00:45:41,457 She was sobbing. It's good I ran into her. 625 00:45:41,577 --> 00:45:45,208 - So she got a package on. - It's worse than bein' swacked. 626 00:45:45,339 --> 00:45:48,210 She was swiping stationery from the Marberry Hotel. 627 00:45:48,340 --> 00:45:52,882 - And writin' letters to her daughter. - Daughter? That old bag? 628 00:45:53,012 --> 00:45:55,012 (Dude) She's a woman, ain't she? 629 00:45:55,143 --> 00:45:58,814 - What's this about a daughter? - Annie's got a daughter in Spain. 630 00:45:58,934 --> 00:46:01,485 Raised in a convent since she was a baby. 631 00:46:01,605 --> 00:46:06,487 - She's comin' to visit, bringing a count. - She's gonna marry a count or somethin'. 632 00:46:06,617 --> 00:46:10,449 - What is this, a rib? - Annie sends her money every month. 633 00:46:10,579 --> 00:46:13,500 And we've been lettin' her shake us down cos we knew. 634 00:46:13,630 --> 00:46:16,381 We all are godfathers. We all got a piece of the kid. 635 00:46:16,501 --> 00:46:20,013 We figure you're a godfather too. You got the biggest piece. 636 00:46:20,133 --> 00:46:24,384 - Me? - You give Annie big tips for her apples. 637 00:46:24,514 --> 00:46:29,597 - It's why her apples were lucky for you. - We got a business appointment to keep. 638 00:46:29,737 --> 00:46:32,688 - You keep it. Just stall 'em. - How am I gonna stall 'em? 639 00:46:32,818 --> 00:46:36,609 I'll be along as soon as I get my apple. Now move it. Move it. 640 00:46:36,739 --> 00:46:39,320 - Where is Annie? - At her flop. I'll show you. 641 00:46:39,451 --> 00:46:43,542 - Come on, Queenie. She may be sick. - Not me. I got a date with Howard Porter. 642 00:46:43,672 --> 00:46:45,713 Never mind Howard Porter. I need you. 643 00:46:45,833 --> 00:46:48,754 Maybe Annie needs you too, the way your old lady did. 644 00:46:48,884 --> 00:46:50,925 - Now, just a minute. - Move it. 645 00:46:51,055 --> 00:46:55,007 No panhandlers on Broadway! Keep your mind off that dizzy blonde of yours. 646 00:46:55,147 --> 00:46:59,519 I don't think about her during the daytime, boss. 647 00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:09,413 (drunkenly) Well, if it isn't my dear friend Dave the Dude and his charming broad. 648 00:47:09,543 --> 00:47:13,374 She's just bagged again. Annie, you had me worried. Where's the bottle? 649 00:47:13,504 --> 00:47:16,676 So nice of you to come. The butler will take your things. 650 00:47:16,796 --> 00:47:19,927 Lovely estate you have here, Lady Chatterley. 651 00:47:20,057 --> 00:47:26,270 It's nothing, really. Just something I keep for the hunting season. 652 00:47:26,400 --> 00:47:30,651 Everybody's coming down for the hunting season, don't you know. 653 00:47:30,771 --> 00:47:32,822 The flea hunt, isn't it? 654 00:47:36,704 --> 00:47:39,245 What are you trying to do? Knock yourself off? 655 00:47:39,375 --> 00:47:41,916 Doc Michel told you this paint'll poison you. 656 00:47:42,046 --> 00:47:46,168 Dude, look. The old lady's had her moments. 657 00:47:49,429 --> 00:47:54,141 This on the emmis? You really got yourself a kid? 658 00:47:54,271 --> 00:47:57,932 Don't sit there slobbering. Answer me. Is this your kid? 659 00:47:58,063 --> 00:48:00,744 - No. - Those crumbs, taking me for a sucker. 660 00:48:00,864 --> 00:48:03,325 - (glass smashes) - Oh! 661 00:48:03,445 --> 00:48:07,196 - My baby! - All right, Annie. Stand up. It's all right. 662 00:48:07,326 --> 00:48:10,007 Dude knows all about it. He's a godfather too. 663 00:48:10,127 --> 00:48:12,799 I don't want you casing the waterfront again. 664 00:48:12,919 --> 00:48:17,050 I was born in a place like this and I don't wanna come back. That's why I need you. 665 00:48:17,170 --> 00:48:20,592 What's all this malarkey about a kid? 666 00:48:26,524 --> 00:48:33,107 She's coming over with a count. She's going to marry his son. 667 00:48:33,237 --> 00:48:35,488 Royalty. 668 00:48:35,618 --> 00:48:38,659 They're coming over to meet me. 669 00:48:39,749 --> 00:48:41,790 Me. 670 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:49,663 Wait till they get a load of Apple Annie. That'll be a laugh. Eh, Dude? 671 00:48:49,804 --> 00:48:55,976 Wait till they meet her crummy old lady. Eh, Queenie? 672 00:48:56,106 --> 00:48:59,528 And see this dump. 673 00:49:00,948 --> 00:49:05,070 Annie, you can't do this. Come on now, you old souse. Get up out of there. 674 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,701 Take it easy. She's an old souse maybe, but she's full of dreams. 675 00:49:08,831 --> 00:49:14,374 - She's full of gin. Where are the apples? - Here are your lousy apples. 676 00:49:14,504 --> 00:49:19,095 Old fool, getting herself in a jam like this. 677 00:49:22,807 --> 00:49:24,478 Now come on, let's go. 678 00:49:24,608 --> 00:49:27,899 You're acting like Darcey already. You can't leave her. 679 00:49:28,029 --> 00:49:31,320 You want me to tuck her in bed? Sing her a lullaby? Come on. 680 00:49:31,450 --> 00:49:35,282 And her daughter? By the time she gets here, she'll be in a psycho ward. 681 00:49:35,412 --> 00:49:40,294 She'll sleep it off. She'll be all right in the morning. I'll send Dr. Michel. Come on. 682 00:49:49,138 --> 00:49:54,300 What am I going to do, Queenie? What am I going to do? 683 00:49:55,730 --> 00:50:01,363 Poor creep. Some Dude must've gotten in your blood once too. 684 00:50:01,493 --> 00:50:04,784 (Dude) Come on, Queenie! I'm way past post time. 685 00:50:04,914 --> 00:50:09,326 I got troubles, Annie, but boy, you... you need a miracle. 686 00:50:09,456 --> 00:50:11,837 What am I going to do? 687 00:50:12,967 --> 00:50:15,218 (Smiley) What are you gonna do, Mr. Dude? 688 00:50:15,338 --> 00:50:17,799 - About what? - About Miss Annie. 689 00:50:17,929 --> 00:50:23,061 - What do you expect me to do? - You could get her into the Marberry. 690 00:50:23,182 --> 00:50:26,853 Apple Annie in the Marberry? You're crazy. 691 00:50:26,983 --> 00:50:30,314 - Just for a week. - Now listen, Mr. Dude. 692 00:50:30,444 --> 00:50:34,536 We already took up a collection, we did. 693 00:50:34,656 --> 00:50:37,787 We all chipped in 65 bucks to get her in. 694 00:50:38,918 --> 00:50:42,289 You did? Well, 65 bucks is a tip at the Marberry. You're all bats. 695 00:50:42,419 --> 00:50:45,381 - What about your playboy friend? - Rodney Kent. 696 00:50:45,511 --> 00:50:49,722 - He's got a penthouse at the Marberry. - You keep out of this. Move it, Junior. 697 00:50:49,852 --> 00:50:52,423 Annie at the Marberry... I said move it! 698 00:50:58,566 --> 00:51:02,157 His luck is gonna turn awful bad. 699 00:51:03,948 --> 00:51:06,409 Apple, be lucky today. 700 00:51:06,539 --> 00:51:11,461 All you little people in there, you start workin' real hard. 701 00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:15,923 All right. When you get home, call Doc Michel to see Annie. 702 00:51:16,053 --> 00:51:19,474 She'll be all right. She's on a bender, that's all. 703 00:51:19,594 --> 00:51:23,466 Hmm? Ain't it a fact? You've seen her swacked before. 704 00:51:23,606 --> 00:51:28,028 What the hell do I care? I got what I want: the city of New York. 705 00:51:28,148 --> 00:51:32,280 This great big town and those heels that pushed me around, it's all mine now, 706 00:51:32,410 --> 00:51:35,411 stretched right out on a silver platter. 707 00:51:35,541 --> 00:51:38,332 Cos Darcey's come around to my way. 708 00:51:38,462 --> 00:51:42,794 What do I need that old apple souse for anyhow? 709 00:51:42,924 --> 00:51:46,796 You know, they say luck is superstition. 710 00:51:46,926 --> 00:51:50,097 Nah, it ain't superstition at all. You know what it is? 711 00:51:50,227 --> 00:51:54,519 Luck is an art. An art I got. 712 00:51:54,649 --> 00:51:59,111 So I lose the old lady and her apples. So what? 713 00:52:00,901 --> 00:52:04,323 Apple Annie at the Marberry Hotel? 714 00:52:06,914 --> 00:52:10,005 What do you expect me to do, for cryin' out loud? 715 00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,166 (clears throat) 716 00:52:12,716 --> 00:52:15,257 Look, will you say something? 717 00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,769 Look, will you say something? 718 00:52:27,572 --> 00:52:31,994 OK, Mr. Big Shot. Now keep your date with Darcey. 719 00:52:42,048 --> 00:52:44,089 And no more gin, huh? 720 00:52:46,010 --> 00:52:49,511 Hey, boss. These rich guys use chequers with horses on 'em. 721 00:52:49,641 --> 00:52:51,472 Put that down! 722 00:52:51,602 --> 00:52:53,983 I oughta have my head shrunk, doing this. 723 00:52:54,103 --> 00:52:58,025 You at the Marberry! Why didn't you swipe stationery from the White House? 724 00:52:58,155 --> 00:53:01,446 You could've said you were Eleanor Roosevelt. 725 00:53:07,038 --> 00:53:10,710 - Whom did you wish to see, sir? - Is this here Rodney Kent's igloo? 726 00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:16,132 This is Mr. Kent's penthouse, yes, but unfortunately Mr. Kent is in Havana. 727 00:53:16,262 --> 00:53:20,684 He is? Well, where'd you get the idea that I give a hang where he is? 728 00:53:20,814 --> 00:53:24,065 - I just assumed... - Come over here. 729 00:53:24,185 --> 00:53:27,276 I'm gonna tell you something that'll make you wet all over. 730 00:53:27,406 --> 00:53:28,987 Really? 731 00:53:29,117 --> 00:53:32,489 I don't care anything about Rodney Kent. 732 00:53:32,619 --> 00:53:34,659 I'm lookin' for Dave the Dude. 733 00:53:34,789 --> 00:53:37,250 - Who is that? - He's here, ain't he? 734 00:53:37,371 --> 00:53:39,421 Well... yes. 735 00:53:40,422 --> 00:53:47,265 Well, what are you standin' there for, growin' in the carpet? Take me to him. 736 00:53:48,935 --> 00:53:51,616 Wait here, will you, please? 737 00:53:51,726 --> 00:53:53,767 There is no carpet. 738 00:53:57,609 --> 00:54:01,030 Sir? A gentleman. Rather primitive. 739 00:54:03,291 --> 00:54:05,862 You tryin' to make me crazy? What's goin' on? 740 00:54:06,002 --> 00:54:08,493 Come here, come here. 741 00:54:08,623 --> 00:54:11,084 - Where you been? - Where have I been? 742 00:54:11,214 --> 00:54:14,886 - I've had to do everything myself. - I've been through a meat grinder. 743 00:54:15,016 --> 00:54:17,767 For 24 hours I've been locked up in Little Switz 744 00:54:17,887 --> 00:54:21,558 listening to that seasick gorilla. I'm alibiing like crazy. 745 00:54:21,689 --> 00:54:24,980 - What are you alibiing for? - For you, for not showing up. 746 00:54:25,110 --> 00:54:28,071 So I didn't show up. How'd you leave the big man, hm? 747 00:54:28,201 --> 00:54:30,822 - Headfirst and landed in the gutter. - Good. 748 00:54:30,952 --> 00:54:35,874 Says he won't talk to messenger boys. Says he barbecues them. 749 00:54:35,994 --> 00:54:39,946 - Used the blowtorch, eh? - Says next time I'll be inside the shirt. 750 00:54:40,086 --> 00:54:44,428 Bluffing, Joy Boy. That's his psychology. Pay no attention to him. 751 00:54:44,548 --> 00:54:49,350 - What's this? - Meet the new queen of society. 752 00:54:49,980 --> 00:54:52,811 This is Annie, the Duchess of Apples. 753 00:54:52,941 --> 00:54:55,692 What's your daughter doing in Spain? 754 00:54:55,822 --> 00:54:57,863 Who's her father? 755 00:55:02,245 --> 00:55:05,666 Aw, boss, that ain't a polite question to ask a dame like Annie. 756 00:55:05,786 --> 00:55:10,628 Wait a minute. You tellin' me Rodney Kent gave you his apartment for this owl? 757 00:55:10,758 --> 00:55:14,260 Yeah. He's a bigger sucker than I am. He even threw in the butler. 758 00:55:14,390 --> 00:55:19,392 Not against my will, sir. I love Cinderella stories. Don't you, sir? 759 00:55:19,522 --> 00:55:21,563 Take a walk, huh? 760 00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:27,775 - Junior, what happened to Queenie? - I don't know. 761 00:55:27,905 --> 00:55:31,907 Dave, you gotta forget all this. You gotta meet with Darcey. 762 00:55:32,037 --> 00:55:35,579 That's the deal of a lifetime. That's our living. What is all this? 763 00:55:35,709 --> 00:55:38,120 I don't know. And I don't want you to tell me. 764 00:55:38,250 --> 00:55:42,671 But what are you? A boy scout? Are you a tambourine shaker? 765 00:55:42,802 --> 00:55:48,044 A million do-gooders are standin' in line to help the hardly-ables like Apple Annie. 766 00:55:48,184 --> 00:55:50,725 Stay in there and pitch, sister. 767 00:55:50,855 --> 00:55:54,236 You see, you're Dave the Dude, not Little Boy Blue. 768 00:55:54,356 --> 00:55:57,528 What are you talking about? Little Boy Blue? Come here. 769 00:55:57,658 --> 00:56:01,199 - Ain't she always been lucky for me, huh? - Yeah, yeah. 770 00:56:01,329 --> 00:56:05,461 If I don't help her out of this jam, how long d'you think my luck would last? 771 00:56:05,581 --> 00:56:10,213 You wanna help her? Help her. But you can't palm that crocodile off as society. 772 00:56:10,343 --> 00:56:13,024 She couldn't fool a pedigree cocker spaniel. 773 00:56:13,134 --> 00:56:17,636 - (Dude) We'd have to clean her up some. - Some? Look at her. 774 00:56:17,766 --> 00:56:20,477 A ragpicker wouldn't stick his hook into her. 775 00:56:20,607 --> 00:56:22,858 (door opens) 776 00:56:22,978 --> 00:56:25,279 Well, here they are. The miracle workers. 777 00:56:25,399 --> 00:56:29,160 Here's my maid, manicurist, hairdresser, chiropodist, masseuse, 778 00:56:29,280 --> 00:56:33,832 and the pièce de résistance, Pierre of the Saxon Plaza. Pierre the divine. 779 00:56:33,952 --> 00:56:36,123 - Take a bow, toots. - Madame. 780 00:56:36,253 --> 00:56:38,464 All right, gang. Here's your challenge. 781 00:56:38,584 --> 00:56:42,286 Come on, Annie. Stand up and meet your makers. 782 00:56:42,426 --> 00:56:46,127 This has got to be a complete overhaul, kids, from top to bottom. 783 00:56:46,267 --> 00:56:49,479 - Don't forget a new set of kidneys. - Let's go, Annie. 784 00:56:49,599 --> 00:56:52,060 Come on, wizards. Let's wiz. 785 00:56:58,072 --> 00:57:01,944 My old lady always said you can't make a pig's ear out of an old sow. 786 00:57:02,084 --> 00:57:05,915 Monsieur, your old lady was not Pierre. 787 00:57:06,045 --> 00:57:07,706 Huh! 788 00:57:09,837 --> 00:57:13,708 - Wait a minute. He can't go in there. - Oh, that's all right. 789 00:57:13,849 --> 00:57:16,930 Believe me, fellas, it's all right. 790 00:57:22,612 --> 00:57:24,113 (door opens) 791 00:57:28,074 --> 00:57:30,325 (butler hums cheerfully) 792 00:57:36,758 --> 00:57:41,130 - Hey, boss, you payin' for all of this? - Fun, eh? 793 00:57:41,260 --> 00:57:45,681 Let's see if we can get it back from the bookies. What's running at Hialeah? 794 00:57:45,812 --> 00:57:49,893 - Here's the morning lineup. - Thanks. Read 'em off to me. 795 00:57:50,023 --> 00:57:53,105 People! Go figure them. 796 00:57:53,235 --> 00:57:56,486 - Scratch 5, 7 and 12. - Right. 797 00:57:57,986 --> 00:57:59,657 (snoring) 798 00:58:01,958 --> 00:58:03,999 (snoring) 799 00:58:15,354 --> 00:58:19,135 It's important that these apples are kept here all the time. 800 00:58:19,275 --> 00:58:21,106 - What's your handle? - Pardon? 801 00:58:21,236 --> 00:58:24,527 - Your name. - It's Hutchings, sir. Hutchings. With a g. 802 00:58:24,657 --> 00:58:29,199 OK, Hutch. This oughta take care of the help for a while. Split it up amongst them. 803 00:58:29,329 --> 00:58:32,330 - They know to keep their mouths shut? - And their ears. 804 00:58:32,461 --> 00:58:36,122 - Told 'em what'd happen if they didn't? - Yes, sir. (imitates machine gun) 805 00:58:36,252 --> 00:58:39,503 - Don't do that, please. - (door opens) 806 00:58:39,633 --> 00:58:41,674 (snoring) 807 00:58:54,239 --> 00:58:57,861 (woman) Oh, my feet. I never wanna see shoes again. 808 00:58:57,991 --> 00:59:00,032 (muttering) 809 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,731 (imitates fanfare) 810 00:59:22,861 --> 00:59:28,703 Gentlemen, may I present Mrs. E Worthington Manville. 811 00:59:30,204 --> 00:59:35,366 (# "March" from "The Nutcracker Suite" by Tchaikovsky) 812 01:00:03,087 --> 01:00:06,669 She's like a cockroach what turned into a butterfly! 813 01:00:08,680 --> 01:00:11,131 Dude, 814 01:00:11,261 --> 01:00:13,722 I'll never forget this. 815 01:00:15,392 --> 01:00:17,433 Never. 816 01:00:17,563 --> 01:00:19,274 God bless you. 817 01:00:25,196 --> 01:00:29,118 Well... You... You could've fooled anybody. 818 01:00:37,922 --> 01:00:43,724 Well, you're gonna need a little walking-around money, so... 819 01:00:43,854 --> 01:00:45,895 here you go. 820 01:00:49,106 --> 01:00:52,237 I guess everything's all set now, huh? 821 01:00:53,568 --> 01:00:56,029 Good luck, Annie. 822 01:00:56,159 --> 01:00:58,330 Joy Boy, Junior, come on. 823 01:01:01,541 --> 01:01:05,673 - How do we contact Little Switz? - They call your apartment every hour. 824 01:01:05,793 --> 01:01:08,424 - We make the next call. - Hey! 825 01:01:08,554 --> 01:01:12,095 - Where do you think you're going? - I did what you wanted, didn't I? 826 01:01:12,225 --> 01:01:16,307 I postponed my wedding a week because you asked me to make a lady out of her. 827 01:01:16,437 --> 01:01:20,569 Don't think you can run off and leave me holding the bag. No offence, Annie. 828 01:01:20,689 --> 01:01:23,780 Look, woman, the Dude has gotta make some bread. 829 01:01:23,910 --> 01:01:27,202 If I can stall my wedding, he can stall his short cut to Sing Sing. 830 01:01:27,332 --> 01:01:30,123 For Pete's sakes, Queenie, what else do you want? 831 01:01:30,253 --> 01:01:35,045 I don't want anything. But what about the husband she's supposed to have? 832 01:01:35,175 --> 01:01:38,046 - Husband? - That's a man who marries a woman. 833 01:01:38,176 --> 01:01:40,587 - Whose husband? - Annie's! 834 01:01:40,717 --> 01:01:45,769 The Honorable E Worthington Shmerthington! Who's gonna dig him up? 835 01:01:45,899 --> 01:01:47,520 Dude? 836 01:01:47,650 --> 01:01:49,481 Louise... 837 01:01:49,611 --> 01:01:51,231 my daughter... 838 01:01:51,361 --> 01:01:54,863 does expect a stepfather. 839 01:01:54,993 --> 01:01:57,034 Well... go get her one. 840 01:01:57,164 --> 01:02:01,165 - Can't you do anything yourself? - Who's she gonna get? 841 01:02:01,295 --> 01:02:05,247 - Shimkey, the blind man? Or Smiley? - You find her one. 842 01:02:05,377 --> 01:02:08,128 You're the one who needs her, Mr. Big, not me. 843 01:02:08,258 --> 01:02:11,350 I got cafeterias. I don't need apples. 844 01:02:11,470 --> 01:02:15,521 The Dude's whole future depends upon this deal. Can you get off his back? 845 01:02:15,641 --> 01:02:19,343 His whole future depends on Annie, and don't you forget it, frog-face. 846 01:02:19,483 --> 01:02:22,324 - You're a troublemaker. - You're a selfish schtoonk! 847 01:02:22,444 --> 01:02:28,537 All right, all right, all right! I'll find her a... a husband. 848 01:02:28,667 --> 01:02:33,829 This is beautiful. All right, Joy Boy, go tell Darcey that the Dude ain't available 849 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:38,471 cos he's diggin' up a husband for some old souse cos he's nuts about her apples. 850 01:02:38,591 --> 01:02:42,972 Where am I gonna find a husband? 851 01:02:48,235 --> 01:02:51,656 Where am I gonna find a husband? In Macy's basement? 852 01:02:51,776 --> 01:02:54,457 They don't sell 'em there, boss. 853 01:02:54,577 --> 01:02:56,618 (Joy Boy groans) 854 01:03:05,301 --> 01:03:07,462 Yeah. 855 01:03:09,053 --> 01:03:11,014 Me? 856 01:03:11,144 --> 01:03:12,724 You. 857 01:03:12,855 --> 01:03:15,936 I think he'd be just precious! 858 01:03:16,066 --> 01:03:18,687 Oh, that would be a great idea. 859 01:03:18,817 --> 01:03:21,648 There's only one problem. 860 01:03:21,778 --> 01:03:24,699 I got a wife that's very fussy. 861 01:03:24,829 --> 01:03:28,831 She don't like for me to go around marryin' people! 862 01:03:28,961 --> 01:03:32,503 Now, I know that might sound very selfish to you, 863 01:03:32,633 --> 01:03:36,294 but she's very funny that way. 864 01:03:37,465 --> 01:03:40,386 I know his wife. He's right. She's a selfish buffalo. 865 01:03:40,516 --> 01:03:43,227 - Dude? - What? 866 01:03:43,357 --> 01:03:45,688 I got an idea. 867 01:03:45,818 --> 01:03:47,479 What? 868 01:03:47,609 --> 01:03:52,070 I know one real gentleman I'm sure we can trust. 869 01:03:52,201 --> 01:03:55,072 We? Oh, now we're all partners! 870 01:03:55,202 --> 01:03:57,243 You know Judge Blake? 871 01:03:58,833 --> 01:04:02,415 Judge Henry G Blake. That's our man. 872 01:04:03,045 --> 01:04:04,876 When did you ever trust a judge? 873 01:04:05,006 --> 01:04:10,428 For a proposition like this we need a guy with class, with dignity, 874 01:04:10,558 --> 01:04:14,099 a gentleman of the old school, and... 875 01:04:14,230 --> 01:04:15,650 a thief. 876 01:04:17,021 --> 01:04:21,482 Judge Blake, the guy that told you you could shoot pool was yankin' your ankle. 877 01:04:22,283 --> 01:04:23,783 Sucker's ready to bite. 878 01:04:23,913 --> 01:04:28,075 Up in Providence, where I'm out of, an amateur like you would lose his pants. 879 01:04:28,205 --> 01:04:33,047 An excellent argument for never visiting Providence. 880 01:04:33,167 --> 01:04:37,549 I hate to do this to you, Judge, but I got a reputation to keep up. 881 01:04:37,679 --> 01:04:39,720 - And that does it. - Astonishing! 882 01:04:39,850 --> 01:04:41,891 Willie Hoppe couldn't do better. 883 01:04:42,021 --> 01:04:44,182 You pool-hall poltroons. 884 01:04:44,312 --> 01:04:49,814 Once again you lured me into a game with a master, solely for your own amusement. 885 01:04:49,944 --> 01:04:55,866 - You're just warmin' up. Another game? - I came here to slay a somber afternoon, 886 01:04:55,996 --> 01:04:59,998 not to be made sport of by Pecksniffian oafs. 887 01:05:00,128 --> 01:05:03,209 Aw, go on, Judge. It's only a nickel a ball. 888 01:05:03,339 --> 01:05:05,881 What do you say we double the bet one time? 889 01:05:06,011 --> 01:05:09,182 Ten cents a ball? Why, that's a veritable fortune. 890 01:05:09,302 --> 01:05:11,353 - Afraid, huh, Judge? - Afraid? 891 01:05:11,473 --> 01:05:16,435 - I'll make it 50 cents a ball. - OK. You got yourself a deal. 892 01:05:16,565 --> 01:05:18,606 Attendant, rack 'em up. 893 01:05:18,736 --> 01:05:20,777 (laughter) 894 01:05:23,828 --> 01:05:25,869 Hey, Judge. 895 01:05:28,210 --> 01:05:34,052 If you will excuse me, while you break, I'll have a word with an associate justice. 896 01:05:34,172 --> 01:05:39,594 Greetings, my intellectual giant. What brings you down to Kew in lilac-time? 897 01:05:39,724 --> 01:05:42,015 The Dude wants to see you. 898 01:05:42,145 --> 01:05:45,687 Your master's timing is most regrettable, my dear Junior. 899 01:05:45,817 --> 01:05:49,688 - I have a plump pigeon in my sights. - Huh? 900 01:05:49,818 --> 01:05:54,200 Within the hour Providence is going to provide next month's room rent. 901 01:05:54,700 --> 01:06:00,293 - Come on, Your Honor. It's your shot. - By your leave, sir. My pigeon is cooing. 902 01:06:00,423 --> 01:06:02,133 A little shaky, huh, Judge? 903 01:06:02,253 --> 01:06:06,755 My boy, the impatient blade is about to descend... 904 01:06:06,885 --> 01:06:08,926 on your red hick's neck. 905 01:06:11,687 --> 01:06:13,728 - Oho! - (laughter) 906 01:06:17,530 --> 01:06:19,570 - Oho! - (laughter) 907 01:06:21,871 --> 01:06:23,702 That was the bedroom. 908 01:06:23,832 --> 01:06:26,503 Over here, that's the billiard room. 909 01:06:26,623 --> 01:06:28,544 Down here's the guest rooms. 910 01:06:28,664 --> 01:06:32,086 - Pretty classy layout, huh, Judge? - Lovely, lovely. 911 01:06:32,216 --> 01:06:35,797 The beauty of the Taj Mahal, the serenity of Melrose Abbey. 912 01:06:36,307 --> 01:06:39,018 Sir, "If thou wouldst view fair Melrose aright..." 913 01:06:39,138 --> 01:06:41,679 "Go visit it by the pale moonlight." 914 01:06:41,810 --> 01:06:47,232 "For the gay beams of lightsome day Gild, but to flout, the ruins grey." 915 01:06:47,362 --> 01:06:49,733 - Oh, my! - To Scott. 916 01:06:50,823 --> 01:06:52,864 - He'll do. - Yeah. 917 01:06:55,495 --> 01:06:58,997 Judge, think you could force yourself to shack up here for a week? 918 01:06:59,127 --> 01:07:01,167 - Is he for real? - He comes with the coop. 919 01:07:01,297 --> 01:07:05,759 If this is a deal, you get yourself a new set of rags and 100 clams. 920 01:07:05,889 --> 01:07:10,601 What do you expect from me for all this opulence? I'm a poor hand at violence. 921 01:07:10,731 --> 01:07:13,943 You're a lock for this gag. All you gotta do is be a husband. 922 01:07:14,063 --> 01:07:17,984 A husband? Impossible. I'm twice a widower now, 923 01:07:18,114 --> 01:07:21,406 thanks to my fleetness of foot and the grace of distance. 924 01:07:21,536 --> 01:07:25,317 No, you don't have to marry the dame. Just be a husband for one week. 925 01:07:25,457 --> 01:07:27,868 Queenie! Come here a minute, will you? 926 01:07:27,998 --> 01:07:31,090 Judge, you've heard of Queenie Martin, haven't you? 927 01:07:31,210 --> 01:07:33,971 My cup runneth over. 928 01:07:34,091 --> 01:07:36,882 Queenie, meet the judge. 929 01:07:37,012 --> 01:07:39,553 I told you I'd find you a good husband. 930 01:07:39,683 --> 01:07:41,724 Madam, this is a great honor, 931 01:07:41,854 --> 01:07:43,895 a rare experience, 932 01:07:44,025 --> 01:07:46,736 and a pulsating pleasure. 933 01:07:46,866 --> 01:07:48,607 Oh, Your Honor. 934 01:07:48,737 --> 01:07:51,738 Yeah. With a new set of clothes he'll just make it fine. 935 01:07:51,868 --> 01:07:58,081 Thank you. I'll do my best. But at my age the libido is most unpredictable. 936 01:07:58,211 --> 01:08:00,251 Don't worry about that. 937 01:08:01,422 --> 01:08:04,133 - What'd you say? - Your humble servant, madam. 938 01:08:04,263 --> 01:08:06,724 And your eager spouse. 939 01:08:06,844 --> 01:08:11,306 - That's the best offer I've had all day. - No wonder he's drooling. 940 01:08:11,436 --> 01:08:16,858 Listen, you fricasseed Casanova. Not her. You're gonna marry Apple Annie. 941 01:08:16,988 --> 01:08:19,479 - Apple Annie? - Apple Annie. 942 01:08:19,619 --> 01:08:23,481 Even as a jest, Dude, that's an insult. 943 01:08:23,621 --> 01:08:25,662 Junior! 944 01:08:28,673 --> 01:08:31,924 Apple Annie. Preposterous! 945 01:08:32,054 --> 01:08:37,096 A creature of the pavements, a... a... a frowsy hag, with the breath of a dragon. 946 01:08:37,687 --> 01:08:43,819 Sir, despite my larcenous impulses, I am a gentleman. 947 01:08:43,939 --> 01:08:45,780 Good afternoon. 948 01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:48,311 Good afternoon, Annie. 949 01:08:51,072 --> 01:08:52,493 Annie? 950 01:08:52,623 --> 01:08:54,584 (Dude) That's Annie. 951 01:08:57,915 --> 01:09:00,256 Apple Annie? 952 01:09:00,386 --> 01:09:04,297 Annie, the judge was just saying how pleased he'll be to be your husband. 953 01:09:04,428 --> 01:09:06,889 Thank you, Judge. 954 01:09:07,889 --> 01:09:10,350 I'm deeply grateful. 955 01:09:14,982 --> 01:09:17,733 The pleasure, I assure you, 956 01:09:17,863 --> 01:09:21,074 dear kind and charming lady, 957 01:09:21,204 --> 01:09:23,245 is entirely mine. 958 01:09:29,628 --> 01:09:34,050 You're all set now, Annie. You got yourself a husband. Now you'll go to the boat. 959 01:09:34,180 --> 01:09:36,971 Yeah. God bless you, Dude. God bless you. 960 01:09:37,101 --> 01:09:39,472 OK. 961 01:09:39,602 --> 01:09:41,022 Joy Boy, let's go. 962 01:09:41,142 --> 01:09:44,774 Sure you don't wanna kill a couple of hours, take some family pictures? 963 01:09:48,155 --> 01:09:49,906 Sir? 964 01:09:50,036 --> 01:09:51,577 Sir! 965 01:09:51,827 --> 01:09:53,868 Sir, pardon me. 966 01:09:53,998 --> 01:09:58,129 I will see that everything is done, sir, notwithstanding my cardiac. 967 01:09:58,249 --> 01:10:00,300 - What? - Oh, you can trust me, sir. 968 01:10:00,420 --> 01:10:03,131 I've had commando training. The Boer War, you know. 969 01:10:03,261 --> 01:10:06,723 I shall need at least a score of your henchmen, very rugged ones. 970 01:10:06,853 --> 01:10:10,144 - A hollow square will hold them. - What are you talking about? 971 01:10:10,274 --> 01:10:13,776 The ship's reporters. They interview the arriving celebrities. 972 01:10:13,906 --> 01:10:16,987 They will want to know from the count why he came to America. 973 01:10:17,117 --> 01:10:19,988 Holy Toledo. I forgot about the reporters. 974 01:10:20,118 --> 01:10:23,700 - Why didn't you think of that? - Why didn't I think of it? 975 01:10:23,830 --> 01:10:27,751 Come on, Junior. We gotta round up the boys. What time does the ship get in? 976 01:10:27,881 --> 01:10:29,922 I hope it sinks. 977 01:10:30,593 --> 01:10:32,383 Take a walk. 978 01:10:39,186 --> 01:10:41,227 (ship's hooter) 979 01:10:44,278 --> 01:10:47,569 (band plays "A Life on the Ocean Wave") 980 01:10:54,832 --> 01:10:56,873 Has she seen the kid yet? 981 01:10:58,754 --> 01:11:01,385 - She's still looking. - She's still looking. 982 01:11:09,148 --> 01:11:12,520 - How do I look? - Beautiful. Like a star. 983 01:11:14,650 --> 01:11:21,193 I can hardly believe it. In a few minutes I'll have my baby in my arms. 984 01:11:27,506 --> 01:11:30,587 - Do you see her yet? - No, not yet. 985 01:11:32,058 --> 01:11:34,629 Dude, stay close to me. I'm so frightened. 986 01:11:34,769 --> 01:11:37,640 At least the boat's on time. 987 01:11:37,770 --> 01:11:40,141 - What about reporters? - I took care of 'em. 988 01:11:40,271 --> 01:11:44,823 The Dude has woven a chain of missing links around us. 989 01:11:44,943 --> 01:11:48,734 (band plays "The Man on the Flying Trapeze") 990 01:11:58,258 --> 01:12:01,259 Hey, look. There's Dave the Dude. 991 01:12:01,389 --> 01:12:04,801 Yeah, with his whole mob. 992 01:12:07,852 --> 01:12:13,815 Let's stick around. I've been waiting ten years to pin something on that Dude. 993 01:12:13,945 --> 01:12:15,985 (ship's hooter) 994 01:12:28,971 --> 01:12:32,262 There she is! There she is! Louise! 995 01:12:32,392 --> 01:12:35,723 Louise! Louise, darling! 996 01:12:40,445 --> 01:12:43,857 Louise! Louise! 997 01:12:43,987 --> 01:12:45,487 Louise! 998 01:12:46,328 --> 01:12:49,039 Louise! 999 01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:52,750 Louise! Louise! 1000 01:13:00,804 --> 01:13:04,975 She saw me. She recognized me. 1001 01:13:05,095 --> 01:13:06,296 Louise! 1002 01:13:08,897 --> 01:13:12,068 Mama! Mama! 1003 01:13:12,198 --> 01:13:14,029 Mama! 1004 01:13:21,622 --> 01:13:25,714 My baby. My baby. 1005 01:13:25,834 --> 01:13:27,885 My Louise. 1006 01:13:30,766 --> 01:13:33,847 I can't believe it, after all these years. 1007 01:13:33,977 --> 01:13:36,598 Why, you're a grown woman. 1008 01:13:37,899 --> 01:13:42,441 - And so beautiful. - Oh, Mama, you are too. 1009 01:13:42,571 --> 01:13:44,651 I would've known you anywhere. 1010 01:13:44,782 --> 01:13:47,993 What are they doin' now, Sal? 1011 01:13:48,123 --> 01:13:49,744 Huggin' and kissin'. 1012 01:13:49,874 --> 01:13:52,125 Is she happy? 1013 01:13:55,626 --> 01:13:58,587 - She's crying. - She's crying. 1014 01:14:00,388 --> 01:14:05,100 I want you to meet Count Alfonso Romero and his son Carlos Romero. 1015 01:14:05,230 --> 01:14:07,271 This is my mother. 1016 01:14:07,401 --> 01:14:09,972 - How do you do? - Madam. 1017 01:14:11,863 --> 01:14:14,614 How do you do? 1018 01:14:14,744 --> 01:14:19,246 Darling, this is your stepfather, Judge Manville. 1019 01:14:19,376 --> 01:14:23,497 Mother's written me so much about you, Father. 1020 01:14:26,168 --> 01:14:30,510 I want you to meet Count Romero and his son Carlos. 1021 01:14:30,640 --> 01:14:34,502 - How do you do? - Welcome to America, my dear Count. 1022 01:14:34,642 --> 01:14:38,063 We've looked forward to your visit with considerable relish. 1023 01:14:38,193 --> 01:14:41,525 This is a glorious moment for everyone. 1024 01:14:41,655 --> 01:14:44,526 Oh, how stupid of me. 1025 01:14:44,656 --> 01:14:47,287 - Louise, this is your, um... - Aunt. Aunt Betty. 1026 01:14:47,407 --> 01:14:50,038 - Aunt Betty. - And Uncle David. 1027 01:14:50,168 --> 01:14:55,920 - I never knew I had an aunt and uncle. - Yes, dear. David is your father's brother. 1028 01:14:56,051 --> 01:15:00,592 I'm so pleased. Mother never wrote a word about you. 1029 01:15:00,722 --> 01:15:06,265 That's because he's always been the black sheep of the family. 1030 01:15:07,355 --> 01:15:10,947 May I present Count Romero, and Carlos Romero. 1031 01:15:11,067 --> 01:15:14,818 This is my Aunt Betty and my Uncle David. 1032 01:15:14,948 --> 01:15:18,620 - How do you do? - Nice to meet you. Will you excuse me? 1033 01:15:20,621 --> 01:15:23,082 Excuse me. I'm the ship news reporter. 1034 01:15:23,212 --> 01:15:25,502 You lookin' for somebody, kid? What is it? 1035 01:15:25,633 --> 01:15:28,174 - You talking to me? - No, your Aunt Tillie. 1036 01:15:28,304 --> 01:15:31,385 - They made me the ship news reporter. - No kiddin'? 1037 01:15:31,515 --> 01:15:35,216 - I gotta check the passengers. - There's no passengers on that boat. 1038 01:15:35,357 --> 01:15:40,359 - What do you call those people? - Spanish sailors. They all dress like that. 1039 01:15:40,489 --> 01:15:44,490 - Hey, what kind of a gag is this? - This is no gag. You gotta go to pier four. 1040 01:15:44,620 --> 01:15:49,162 - The Jersey ferry just hit an iceberg. - Then it got shot up by a submarine. 1041 01:15:49,292 --> 01:15:51,253 - One of ours. - A catastrophe. 1042 01:15:51,373 --> 01:15:54,584 - Terrible thing. - Worse than the Lusitania. 1043 01:15:54,714 --> 01:15:56,755 Take this man to pier four in the Bronx. 1044 01:15:56,885 --> 01:16:00,387 - Pier four ain't in the Bronx. - It's in the Bronx. It moved. 1045 01:16:01,887 --> 01:16:05,309 - How many is that? - That's five, and we're runnin' out of cars. 1046 01:16:05,439 --> 01:16:08,520 (man) You wait here while I get Count Romero. 1047 01:16:10,111 --> 01:16:12,402 You will come with me. 1048 01:16:12,532 --> 01:16:14,572 Take a walk. 1049 01:16:16,453 --> 01:16:19,414 I want you to take some very good pictures of the count. 1050 01:16:19,544 --> 01:16:21,875 - Can I help you, mister? - I doubt it, sir. 1051 01:16:22,005 --> 01:16:25,257 - I am the Spanish consul and... - I was just looking for you. 1052 01:16:25,387 --> 01:16:27,428 - You were? - Yes. Immigration. 1053 01:16:27,548 --> 01:16:31,059 We're holding Count Romero because of some rare Spanish disease. 1054 01:16:31,179 --> 01:16:35,431 Rare disease? But there is no such thing as a Spanish disease. 1055 01:16:35,561 --> 01:16:37,602 - Lieutenant. - Yes, Sergeant? 1056 01:16:37,732 --> 01:16:43,364 It's worse than expected. They say they'll take the count away in a straitjacket. 1057 01:16:43,494 --> 01:16:46,455 I'm sure the consul here can straighten things out. 1058 01:16:46,575 --> 01:16:49,457 - Take the consul to the count's cabin. - Aye aye, sir. 1059 01:16:49,587 --> 01:16:52,418 - This way. - Don't get too close to the count. 1060 01:16:52,548 --> 01:16:57,430 This is fantastic! I am going to take this to the secretary of state himself. 1061 01:16:57,550 --> 01:16:59,591 You should, sir. 1062 01:17:03,272 --> 01:17:06,854 Looks like the Dude's got a new swindle going. 1063 01:17:06,984 --> 01:17:10,355 The Dude's too smart to pull anything in the open. Let's go. 1064 01:17:10,485 --> 01:17:13,947 Wait a minute. Let's have a little chat with him anyway. 1065 01:17:14,077 --> 01:17:15,077 OK. 1066 01:17:15,197 --> 01:17:18,789 (Smiley) Gangway. Gangway. Gangway. 1067 01:17:18,919 --> 01:17:23,290 Mr. Dude, sir, a couple of coppers are comin' to put the arm on you. 1068 01:17:26,132 --> 01:17:28,342 Holy cow. 1069 01:17:28,473 --> 01:17:31,154 Junior, start a brannigan. Sock the Weasel. 1070 01:17:31,264 --> 01:17:35,215 - Sock the Weasel? He's my brother! - Don't argue. Sock the Weasel. 1071 01:17:35,355 --> 01:17:38,647 - Hey, Weasel. How's Ma? - Ma's OK. She's all right. 1072 01:17:38,777 --> 01:17:40,197 Good. 1073 01:17:44,329 --> 01:17:47,120 Ma told you not to hit me no more! 1074 01:17:50,922 --> 01:17:52,542 Fight! 1075 01:17:52,672 --> 01:17:54,713 (women scream) 1076 01:17:59,765 --> 01:18:04,057 - Amscray. A couple of ullbays. - Folks, I think we'd best be on our way. 1077 01:18:04,187 --> 01:18:06,228 (police whistle) 1078 01:18:09,899 --> 01:18:11,950 Hi, fellas. 1079 01:18:12,821 --> 01:18:16,612 Boy, have I seen New York in the past four days! 1080 01:18:18,043 --> 01:18:20,794 Boss, Queenie says for you to eat these sandwiches. 1081 01:18:20,924 --> 01:18:24,755 - How's tricks with the social mob? - It's going so great, I'm scared. 1082 01:18:24,885 --> 01:18:27,346 First thing, breakfast on gold plates. 1083 01:18:27,466 --> 01:18:31,018 Then Queenie herds us into the car and we go sightseeing all over. 1084 01:18:31,138 --> 01:18:33,189 Did you know New York was an island? 1085 01:18:37,441 --> 01:18:39,691 - What do you want, boss? - Got a pastrami? 1086 01:18:39,822 --> 01:18:42,233 Yeah. Ma thought I was nuts. 1087 01:18:42,363 --> 01:18:47,074 Hey, Joy Boy. We passed by a zoo, and what do you think I saw? A cow! 1088 01:18:47,915 --> 01:18:50,046 Here's your yoghurt. 1089 01:18:50,166 --> 01:18:55,518 - Guess who's buried in Grant's Tomb. - Will you leave me alone with the tomb? 1090 01:18:55,638 --> 01:18:58,099 You're sure the count ain't talked to nobody? 1091 01:18:58,219 --> 01:19:01,310 Count Romero? He don't get a chance to talk to himself. 1092 01:19:01,430 --> 01:19:06,402 When the judge runs out of gas about cowboys and Indians, Queenie sings. 1093 01:19:06,522 --> 01:19:09,694 - Enough already! Please! - You ain't heard nothin' yet. 1094 01:19:09,824 --> 01:19:14,786 You should see the way Annie looks at her daughter - like she was a banana split. 1095 01:19:14,916 --> 01:19:19,037 Hey, boss, those two kids better get married, or else they're gonna bust. 1096 01:19:19,168 --> 01:19:22,249 See? I told you guys. 1097 01:19:22,379 --> 01:19:28,591 Helping that old doll... it kinda gets me, right here. 1098 01:19:28,721 --> 01:19:30,552 You know what I mean? 1099 01:19:30,682 --> 01:19:34,934 You know, boss, it gets me too. Only higher. 1100 01:19:36,104 --> 01:19:39,446 I hate to tell you where it gets me. 1101 01:19:39,576 --> 01:19:41,867 And I'm gonna tell you. 1102 01:19:41,997 --> 01:19:46,038 You're playin' with your darts, and you're happy with the banana, 1103 01:19:46,169 --> 01:19:48,369 but me, I'm scared. 1104 01:19:48,499 --> 01:19:53,461 Three days and nights we're waitin' by the phone. Darcey ain't called. 1105 01:19:53,592 --> 01:19:56,423 You know what that means? I can feel the bullets. 1106 01:19:56,553 --> 01:19:59,474 Darcey's gotta knock us off now, or we're done. 1107 01:19:59,604 --> 01:20:02,565 All right. I don't complain. No. 1108 01:20:02,685 --> 01:20:07,027 You say no bullets. All right. You say no guns. All right. 1109 01:20:07,157 --> 01:20:11,199 No bodyguards. All right. You say don't lock the doors. All right. 1110 01:20:11,329 --> 01:20:15,450 It's crazy, but I've been with you for ten years. I'll go along for the ride. 1111 01:20:15,580 --> 01:20:21,213 But not this. I'm not gonna sit here, sweat, feel hot lead, and at the same time 1112 01:20:21,343 --> 01:20:25,464 listen to that sugar-coated malarkey about the beggar woman and her daughter. 1113 01:20:25,595 --> 01:20:28,306 That's all! Finished! Done! Goodbye! 1114 01:20:29,686 --> 01:20:31,727 (phone rings) 1115 01:20:31,857 --> 01:20:34,398 That's Darcey. 1116 01:20:34,528 --> 01:20:38,390 I wish I could worry like him, but I don't know how. 1117 01:20:38,530 --> 01:20:39,780 Talk. 1118 01:20:39,910 --> 01:20:42,031 Aw, for cryin' out loud. 1119 01:20:42,161 --> 01:20:46,453 It's Annie's butler. That's the bum from the Boer War. 1120 01:20:46,583 --> 01:20:48,544 Now what? 1121 01:20:48,674 --> 01:20:50,215 Yeah? 1122 01:20:50,335 --> 01:20:52,505 I'm sorry to trouble you, Mr. Dude, 1123 01:20:52,636 --> 01:20:55,757 but the count just asked me to telephone the Spanish consul. 1124 01:20:55,887 --> 01:20:59,518 - What does he want to talk to him for? - I don't know why. 1125 01:20:59,638 --> 01:21:02,730 But I did hear him say that he was tired of sightseeing 1126 01:21:02,860 --> 01:21:04,810 and he wanted to meet some people. 1127 01:21:04,941 --> 01:21:09,192 - Joy Boy, how's your Spanish? - As good as my French. They both stink. 1128 01:21:10,573 --> 01:21:13,864 Junior, did you learn anything from Spanish Lena? 1129 01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:16,675 Spanish Lena was a Hungarian. 1130 01:21:16,795 --> 01:21:20,547 Don't nobody know nothin'? And where's Queenie? 1131 01:21:20,677 --> 01:21:24,008 - Put the sucker on. I'll fade him myself. - (door buzzer) 1132 01:21:24,138 --> 01:21:26,179 It's open. 1133 01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:30,641 Hey, you're Darcey's boys. 1134 01:21:30,771 --> 01:21:33,852 Mr. Darcey don't never send "boys". 1135 01:21:33,982 --> 01:21:38,194 - Mr. Darcey wants to see you. - We were waiting for his call. 1136 01:21:38,324 --> 01:21:40,365 Why don't you make yourself at home? 1137 01:21:40,495 --> 01:21:42,366 And you were worried! 1138 01:21:42,496 --> 01:21:44,667 Hello? Hello? 1139 01:21:44,787 --> 01:21:48,578 Soy el conde de Romero. ¿Por qué no fue a recibirme? 1140 01:21:48,708 --> 01:21:54,431 (Japanese accent) Very sorry. Nobody home. They all go far away. 1141 01:21:54,551 --> 01:21:56,592 They all go... California. 1142 01:21:56,722 --> 01:21:59,473 Lots of sunshine in California. 1143 01:21:59,603 --> 01:22:03,354 So this Japanese houseboy. So sorry. Ooh, very sorry. 1144 01:22:03,484 --> 01:22:05,735 No, I'm very sorry, they're not home. 1145 01:22:05,865 --> 01:22:10,617 Ooh, very sorry. No, I'm very sorry. They're not home. Nobody home. Just me. 1146 01:22:10,747 --> 01:22:12,578 OK. Bye-bye. 1147 01:22:14,999 --> 01:22:18,380 That's very good, Mr. Moto. Now let's go do some business. 1148 01:22:18,500 --> 01:22:21,132 I'll be with you in a minute. Where is Little Switz? 1149 01:22:21,262 --> 01:22:23,713 - We'll take you personal. - Yeah. 1150 01:22:23,843 --> 01:22:27,974 But first I have a little personal business. I wanna stop off and buy my apple. 1151 01:22:28,104 --> 01:22:31,396 You ain't stoppin' nowhere. Mr. Darcey's through playin'. Up! 1152 01:22:31,526 --> 01:22:33,567 You, fancy-pants, over there. 1153 01:22:33,687 --> 01:22:36,238 You, Mr. Apples, over here. Turn around. 1154 01:22:36,358 --> 01:22:40,149 - Turn around! Up! Up! - All right, all right. 1155 01:22:42,160 --> 01:22:45,912 - Hey, your hand's bleeding. - Oh! Argh! 1156 01:22:46,042 --> 01:22:49,423 - This way, gentlemen. - We'll tie 'em, lock 'em in the bathroom. 1157 01:22:49,543 --> 01:22:55,556 When he gets his apple, we'll be back to pick you up. Now get in there! Move! 1158 01:22:56,936 --> 01:23:01,978 Wait. Lock 'em in the closet, Joy Boy. They may just wax the bathroom floor. 1159 01:23:04,649 --> 01:23:08,571 - Yes, sir? - I am Señor Cortez, the Spanish consul. 1160 01:23:08,701 --> 01:23:11,162 - The Spanish consul? - Yes. 1161 01:23:11,282 --> 01:23:16,044 - Is Count Romero to be found here? - Well... I don't believe he's in just now. 1162 01:23:16,164 --> 01:23:19,175 - So if you'd care to leave your card... - Señor Cortez? 1163 01:23:20,256 --> 01:23:22,296 Señor conde. 1164 01:23:22,426 --> 01:23:25,108 Count Romero will receive you. 1165 01:23:27,228 --> 01:23:30,390 It has been very difficult for me to locate you, Count Romero. 1166 01:23:30,520 --> 01:23:34,221 This is most confusing. I just had your office on the phone, 1167 01:23:34,361 --> 01:23:37,493 and your Japanese houseboy assured me you were out of town. 1168 01:23:37,613 --> 01:23:38,893 - Japanese? - Sí. 1169 01:23:39,033 --> 01:23:41,914 What would I be doing with a Japanese houseboy? 1170 01:23:42,034 --> 01:23:46,166 - That is what we were wondering. - Very strange. 1171 01:23:47,967 --> 01:23:50,418 - May I? - Sí, sí. 1172 01:23:51,758 --> 01:23:55,890 It is my impression that there's something peculiar about Mrs. Manville. 1173 01:23:56,020 --> 01:23:57,971 - Mrs. Manville? Peculiar? - Yes. 1174 01:23:58,101 --> 01:24:02,483 I've telephoned several society editors and they know nothing about her. 1175 01:24:02,613 --> 01:24:05,694 - I would be very cautious if I were you. - Of what? 1176 01:24:05,824 --> 01:24:11,576 - Father, I resent these insinuations. - You did not even meet me at the pier. 1177 01:24:11,706 --> 01:24:14,037 Believe me, I was there. 1178 01:24:14,167 --> 01:24:17,799 But an official told me you were having difficulty with your shots. 1179 01:24:17,919 --> 01:24:19,340 Shots? What shots? 1180 01:24:19,470 --> 01:24:22,971 A gentleman from the immigration service said you could not land 1181 01:24:23,091 --> 01:24:27,103 because you had contracted a peculiar disease. 1182 01:24:27,223 --> 01:24:31,485 And later, the ship's captain told me you were a guest of this Mrs. Manville. 1183 01:24:31,605 --> 01:24:35,866 Señor, I had no trouble landing. I am in perfect health. 1184 01:24:35,986 --> 01:24:38,477 You are a most confused man. 1185 01:24:38,617 --> 01:24:43,499 When I try to reach you on the phone I find your confusion has spread to your staff, 1186 01:24:43,619 --> 01:24:48,251 where a Japanese listens to Spanish and answers in pidgin English. Caramba! 1187 01:24:48,381 --> 01:24:52,383 Señor, give the gentleman his hat. 1188 01:24:56,725 --> 01:25:00,506 Very well, Count Romero. But in taking my leave, let me add only this. 1189 01:25:00,646 --> 01:25:04,438 That a bellboy in this very hotel assured me that this penthouse 1190 01:25:04,568 --> 01:25:09,450 is permanently leased by an American novelist named Rodney Kent. 1191 01:25:09,580 --> 01:25:13,832 Is this the way our diplomats conduct our affairs? Questioning bellboys? 1192 01:25:13,962 --> 01:25:19,464 Good day, sir. This episode will raise some eyebrows in Madrid. 1193 01:25:19,594 --> 01:25:21,995 - Rodney Kent! - It's ridiculous. 1194 01:25:22,135 --> 01:25:26,267 For years Louise has corresponded with her mother at this very hotel. 1195 01:25:26,397 --> 01:25:28,438 - If I may, sir? - Sí, sí. 1196 01:25:28,558 --> 01:25:30,609 Thank you. 1197 01:25:30,729 --> 01:25:33,480 - Rodney Kent does live here. - What? 1198 01:25:33,610 --> 01:25:36,741 In these books, sir. See? 1199 01:25:36,861 --> 01:25:38,912 Pulitzer Prize winner. 1200 01:25:39,032 --> 01:25:43,744 The judge - Judge Manville - writes under that name. 1201 01:25:43,874 --> 01:25:45,295 Ah. Ah! 1202 01:25:45,415 --> 01:25:48,626 - After the fashion of Mr. Mark Twain. - And O Henry, Father. 1203 01:25:48,756 --> 01:25:52,708 O Henry. Sí, señor. Yes. 1204 01:25:52,848 --> 01:25:56,599 - I trust this confidence will be respected. - Of course. 1205 01:25:56,729 --> 01:25:58,350 Thank you. 1206 01:25:58,480 --> 01:26:01,731 Tea is served, sir, on the terrace. 1207 01:26:01,861 --> 01:26:04,232 Now, what are we gonna do after tea? 1208 01:26:04,362 --> 01:26:08,234 - What does the count like to do most? - Well, he rides a bicycle a great deal. 1209 01:26:08,364 --> 01:26:10,415 Six-day bicycle races. 1210 01:26:10,535 --> 01:26:13,216 Great. I'll call for tickets. 1211 01:26:13,336 --> 01:26:16,127 Oh, dear Count, I have such a surprise for you. 1212 01:26:16,257 --> 01:26:21,179 We just decided to go to the six-day bicycle races at Madison Square Garden. 1213 01:26:21,299 --> 01:26:26,311 - But we'll not be here for six more days. - Hi, everybody. Just came to say hello. 1214 01:26:26,431 --> 01:26:31,063 And... buy one of your delicious apples. 1215 01:26:31,193 --> 01:26:35,735 Oh, here we are. You see, Count, it's sort of a family joke. 1216 01:26:35,865 --> 01:26:39,327 I always feel that these apples bring me luck. 1217 01:26:39,457 --> 01:26:45,089 What a charming idea. I have the same feeling about onions. 1218 01:26:45,209 --> 01:26:49,841 - What is it, Hutchings? - A journalist to see you, sir. Second call. 1219 01:26:49,971 --> 01:26:52,012 (Dude) That guy out there is a reporter. 1220 01:26:52,142 --> 01:26:55,723 (judge) What provoked the curiosity in this wretched scribe? 1221 01:26:55,853 --> 01:26:59,635 - He requests a biography of Mrs. Manville. - Absurd. 1222 01:26:59,775 --> 01:27:02,696 Brother David, perhaps you can handle this inquisitor? 1223 01:27:02,816 --> 01:27:06,197 Don't worry about a thing, Judge. Everything's taken care of. 1224 01:27:13,000 --> 01:27:16,382 - What's the pitch, Brisbane? - From the society desk at the Star. 1225 01:27:16,502 --> 01:27:19,263 I wanna do a feature on Mrs. E Worthington Manville. 1226 01:27:19,383 --> 01:27:22,684 - She's not in the Social Register. - Not in the Social Register? 1227 01:27:22,804 --> 01:27:25,145 Or the phone book, not even the Yellow Pages. 1228 01:27:25,265 --> 01:27:26,766 Did you look under M's? 1229 01:27:26,896 --> 01:27:31,028 Look, I'm tired. The Spanish consul called my editor... 1230 01:27:31,148 --> 01:27:34,409 - Say, aren't you Dave the Dude? - What is he talking about? 1231 01:27:34,529 --> 01:27:37,410 Sure. I seen you around Queenie Martin's club. 1232 01:27:37,540 --> 01:27:40,792 You know, you're wasting your time with society news. 1233 01:27:40,912 --> 01:27:44,703 You could be a great big reporter, and we could give you a great big story. 1234 01:27:44,833 --> 01:27:48,755 Yeah, but we better go someplace where we won't be disturbed. 1235 01:27:48,885 --> 01:27:51,426 - Isn't that right, Uncle David? - That's right. 1236 01:27:51,556 --> 01:27:55,427 - Do you want to step this way? - Right this way. 1237 01:28:01,400 --> 01:28:05,151 No more sightseeing. No more buildings. 1238 01:28:05,281 --> 01:28:11,204 Mrs. Manville, I have come to know your daughter that well 1239 01:28:11,334 --> 01:28:14,415 that I love her like a father. 1240 01:28:14,545 --> 01:28:17,376 Thanks... Thank you. 1241 01:28:17,506 --> 01:28:21,378 And so I wish to announce I will be greatly honored 1242 01:28:21,518 --> 01:28:26,440 if your daughter will accept the proposal of my son in marriage. 1243 01:28:26,560 --> 01:28:30,862 Congratulations, Carlos! This is a great moment, a historic moment. 1244 01:28:30,982 --> 01:28:34,493 The union of our two families. The Montagues and the Capulets. 1245 01:28:34,613 --> 01:28:38,455 My dear Count, this calls for a real celebration. 1246 01:28:38,575 --> 01:28:40,876 That is exactly what I was coming to. 1247 01:28:40,996 --> 01:28:45,968 It will give me the greatest pleasure to announce the engagement officially 1248 01:28:46,088 --> 01:28:50,890 at a reception for a few of your intimate friends. 1249 01:28:52,471 --> 01:28:54,772 Reception? 1250 01:28:54,892 --> 01:28:57,733 - With people? - Sí. 1251 01:28:57,853 --> 01:28:59,524 - Father... - No, no. 1252 01:29:00,114 --> 01:29:04,155 Relax and enjoy yourself, newsboy. You're living at the Marberry. 1253 01:29:04,285 --> 01:29:06,746 - It was nice meetin' you. - (muffled cries) 1254 01:29:06,867 --> 01:29:10,248 Watch your diction, watch your diction. 1255 01:29:10,748 --> 01:29:12,669 Reporter's taken care of, Judge. 1256 01:29:12,799 --> 01:29:16,961 Uncle David, congratulate us. Carlos and I are engaged. 1257 01:29:17,091 --> 01:29:20,382 You're a lucky man, Carlos. Congratulations. 1258 01:29:20,512 --> 01:29:25,354 Brother David, I just told the count we'd make the announcement at the reception. 1259 01:29:25,474 --> 01:29:28,355 Fine. Well, I'll see you folks around. 1260 01:29:32,327 --> 01:29:35,658 Reception? What reception? 1261 01:29:35,788 --> 01:29:39,370 The count wants to meet some of our friends. 1262 01:29:41,170 --> 01:29:43,852 A modest affair. Nothing elaborate. 1263 01:29:43,962 --> 01:29:46,803 Just the intimate friends of the parents of the bride. 1264 01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:51,095 About... 100 people, did you say, Judge? 1265 01:29:51,805 --> 01:29:54,266 100... friends? 1266 01:29:54,396 --> 01:29:57,147 You're the only one who can handle it, David. 1267 01:29:57,277 --> 01:30:03,360 - We must tell Aunt Betty at once. - Aunt Betty will be the first to know. 1268 01:30:03,490 --> 01:30:08,652 Brother Henry, would you come with me? I think we have to make up a list. 1269 01:30:11,963 --> 01:30:17,095 Mrs. Manville, I hope there is enough time for the preparations. 1270 01:30:18,846 --> 01:30:22,347 Why, you two-bit pool hustler. Sit down there. Sit down! 1271 01:30:22,477 --> 01:30:25,979 - I told you not to get used to high living. - It was the count's idea! 1272 01:30:26,109 --> 01:30:28,790 - I oughta belt him. - Now, now, godfather. 1273 01:30:28,900 --> 01:30:34,112 Do you know what this windbag's got us into? A reception for 100 people. 1274 01:30:34,242 --> 01:30:36,163 (door opens) 1275 01:30:39,254 --> 01:30:43,376 - Where do you think you're going? - I'm fleeing from Armageddon, sir. 1276 01:30:43,506 --> 01:30:47,638 With my cardiac condition I just cannot take unhappy endings. 1277 01:30:47,758 --> 01:30:51,679 - So I'm off to join Mr. Kent in Havana. - With two broken legs? 1278 01:30:51,809 --> 01:30:54,520 My legs, sir? Oh, they're quite... 1279 01:30:54,650 --> 01:30:57,101 Oh. Oh! 1280 01:30:57,231 --> 01:30:59,692 Very cleverly put, sir. 1281 01:30:59,822 --> 01:31:02,904 Thank you, sir. Yes. Not at all. 1282 01:31:11,797 --> 01:31:13,838 You! 1283 01:31:16,469 --> 01:31:22,602 - You'll break the poor lady's heart. - Why didn't you stop it before it started? 1284 01:31:22,732 --> 01:31:25,273 - Oh, there you are. - So we gotta throw a party. 1285 01:31:25,393 --> 01:31:28,074 So we just herd up a bunch of freeloaders. 1286 01:31:28,194 --> 01:31:32,116 Society freeloaders. The count expects 100 of the Four Hundred. 1287 01:31:32,236 --> 01:31:34,286 Annie only knows people from sewers. 1288 01:31:34,407 --> 01:31:38,078 Which reminds me. You got a couple of sewer rats trussed up in the closet. 1289 01:31:38,208 --> 01:31:40,419 Darcey's mugs. I forgot all about them. 1290 01:31:40,539 --> 01:31:42,800 The Weasel's in Annie's place, so I'm here. 1291 01:31:42,920 --> 01:31:47,682 Somebody tell me how I got into this pot. I didn't wanna be dealt in in the first place. 1292 01:31:47,802 --> 01:31:50,893 You, Queenie. You were the one who suckered me into this. 1293 01:31:51,013 --> 01:31:54,565 As long as I was minding my own business in my own racket, it was fine. 1294 01:31:54,685 --> 01:31:57,986 But then I had to start to help somebody, had to be the big man. 1295 01:31:58,106 --> 01:32:00,357 And will you look at me now? 1296 01:32:00,487 --> 01:32:02,828 I got oost into this old dame's life, 1297 01:32:02,948 --> 01:32:06,950 I got a couple of hoods, a couple of hatchet men, stashed in that closet, 1298 01:32:07,080 --> 01:32:11,962 - a reporter guzzled up in the penthouse... - You got three reporters in the penthouse. 1299 01:32:12,092 --> 01:32:15,713 - Three? - Two more showed up so we bagged 'em. 1300 01:32:15,843 --> 01:32:19,225 That's kidnapping. Do you know what the newspapers'll do to us? 1301 01:32:19,345 --> 01:32:23,296 Does it still kinda get you a little bit, right here? 1302 01:32:24,317 --> 01:32:27,778 - The butler says there's enough food. - That's it. I've had it. 1303 01:32:27,898 --> 01:32:31,530 You, Junior, bring those Darcey orangutans to me right now. 1304 01:32:31,660 --> 01:32:37,332 I like that butler. Calls me "sir", bows to me. Makes me feel like a broad. 1305 01:32:38,503 --> 01:32:42,084 You take care of those reporters till I square the beef with 'em. 1306 01:32:42,214 --> 01:32:46,086 And you go tell your friend Annie to take her business around the corner, 1307 01:32:46,216 --> 01:32:48,927 because I am through, I am finished! 1308 01:32:49,057 --> 01:32:52,838 Oh, boy. And just when you were starting to act like a human. 1309 01:32:52,978 --> 01:32:56,520 Queenie, you got 30 seconds before I pick you up and throw you out. 1310 01:32:56,650 --> 01:32:59,821 You know, some people toss charity balls for homeless cats. 1311 01:32:59,951 --> 01:33:02,492 They even build zoos so wild animals live good. 1312 01:33:02,622 --> 01:33:04,913 - You get arrested if you whip a horse. - 10. 1313 01:33:05,033 --> 01:33:07,494 Good people help, Dude. What are we? 1314 01:33:07,624 --> 01:33:10,586 Did we ever build a bridge or plant a seed? 1315 01:33:10,716 --> 01:33:12,546 - 20. - We're nothin'. 1316 01:33:12,676 --> 01:33:15,678 We're all a bunch of grabbers, looking for the best of it. 1317 01:33:15,808 --> 01:33:20,520 - Just once, couldn't we help somebody? - That's it. You're through, sister. 1318 01:33:20,640 --> 01:33:24,771 Yes, we're gonna help somebody. We are going to help me. 1319 01:33:24,901 --> 01:33:29,323 I'm gonna make any kind of a deal Darcey wants. Unless we've blown it already. 1320 01:33:29,443 --> 01:33:35,246 Hallelujah! I'm gonna drink to you. It's my first in five years. 1321 01:33:35,706 --> 01:33:39,287 Do I infer you're stranding Annie on the rocky beach of despair? 1322 01:33:39,417 --> 01:33:43,469 I've had just about enough of your hot air too, Judge. You - out! 1323 01:33:43,589 --> 01:33:45,930 And you - out. Both of you - out. 1324 01:33:46,050 --> 01:33:48,601 That's it. School's out. Everybody out. 1325 01:33:49,521 --> 01:33:52,313 I hope we're not interrupting anything. 1326 01:33:52,443 --> 01:33:55,274 Louise! Darling! 1327 01:33:55,404 --> 01:33:57,735 Uncle David just told me the good news. 1328 01:33:57,865 --> 01:34:01,156 - My heartiest congratulations, Carlos. - Thank you. 1329 01:34:01,286 --> 01:34:06,078 - I hope we're not intruding. - Not at all. You're a breath of spring. 1330 01:34:06,208 --> 01:34:11,370 We were just taking a walk and Carlos had the most wonderful, sweetest idea. 1331 01:34:11,510 --> 01:34:15,422 - What is it, Carlos? - No, no. This is not the time. Or the place. 1332 01:34:15,552 --> 01:34:19,684 Of course it is, Carlos. He thinks the world of you, Uncle David. 1333 01:34:19,814 --> 01:34:22,895 - Louise. - What is it, Carlos? 1334 01:34:23,025 --> 01:34:26,487 Well, sir, I... that is, Louise and I... 1335 01:34:26,607 --> 01:34:27,607 Yes. 1336 01:34:27,737 --> 01:34:31,368 ...we would be most pleased if, when the time comes, 1337 01:34:31,489 --> 01:34:36,541 you will consent to be godfather to our first child. 1338 01:34:48,806 --> 01:34:51,057 He'd be delighted. 1339 01:34:51,187 --> 01:34:53,978 Uncle David's already an experienced godfather. 1340 01:34:54,108 --> 01:34:57,069 Oh, Uncle David! I love you so much. 1341 01:34:57,199 --> 01:35:02,071 Thank you, señor. I am very honored, and my family is very honored. 1342 01:35:02,201 --> 01:35:05,162 - And if it's a boy we'll name him after you. - No. 1343 01:35:05,292 --> 01:35:07,863 Louise, we cannot take up any more of their time. 1344 01:35:08,003 --> 01:35:12,135 No. I'm sure you have so much to do, arranging the reception on short notice. 1345 01:35:12,255 --> 01:35:13,886 Goodbye. 1346 01:35:15,727 --> 01:35:19,138 - About 100 people, you said, Judge? - Not just people. 1347 01:35:19,268 --> 01:35:25,150 But citizens of style and grace. And this above all: daisies who won't tell. 1348 01:35:25,280 --> 01:35:27,821 Dude's gang! 1349 01:35:27,952 --> 01:35:31,363 Now, there's a bunch of daisies that wouldn't dare squeal. 1350 01:35:31,493 --> 01:35:34,034 With the right clothes they'd pass off as kings. 1351 01:35:34,164 --> 01:35:36,245 - They would? - Well, look at Annie. 1352 01:35:36,375 --> 01:35:38,916 The count fell for her. And you and me. 1353 01:35:39,046 --> 01:35:43,468 And Carlos thinks the Dude is a young Abe Lincoln. 1354 01:35:46,929 --> 01:35:52,481 And the count even swallowed Joy Boy, and I can do better than that in a pet shop. 1355 01:35:52,612 --> 01:35:55,693 If you weren't a broad I'd kick you right in the stomach. 1356 01:35:55,823 --> 01:35:58,534 And my old chorus girls. 1357 01:35:58,654 --> 01:36:02,706 Why, they'd make the most glamorous society queens this town's ever seen! 1358 01:36:02,826 --> 01:36:06,207 Indeed. Why not? The world goes round in make-believe. 1359 01:36:06,337 --> 01:36:10,589 Louie the Lug - with a carnation in his buttonhole, he'll look like Grover Whalen. 1360 01:36:10,719 --> 01:36:13,630 (Queenie) The Weasel'd make a great secretary of war. 1361 01:36:13,760 --> 01:36:17,812 The Weasel as secretary of war? No, he don't rate no more than an alderman. 1362 01:36:17,932 --> 01:36:19,432 Dude! 1363 01:36:19,563 --> 01:36:23,484 Why, the Weasel'd make as good a secretary of war as anyone you can name. 1364 01:36:23,604 --> 01:36:25,655 No, I think he'd rate an alderman. 1365 01:36:25,775 --> 01:36:28,326 Dude, you're gettin' hooked again. 1366 01:36:28,446 --> 01:36:33,368 You know what? You almost had me walking out on poor old Apple Annie. 1367 01:36:33,498 --> 01:36:37,880 Queenie, call your broads. Judge, call Boyle's pool room. You know the number. 1368 01:36:37,100 --> 01:36:41,702 - I'll call... - Dude... Dude! 1369 01:36:41,842 --> 01:36:44,883 Round everybody up. 1370 01:36:45,013 --> 01:36:48,354 They was knotted real tight. Good thing I was a boy scout. 1371 01:36:48,474 --> 01:36:50,765 Mr. Darcey ain't gonna like this. 1372 01:36:50,895 --> 01:36:55,977 You tell Mr. Darcey he's got a deal, but on my terms. He delivers me $100,000 cash. 1373 01:36:56,117 --> 01:36:59,899 And no more of you popgun monkeys showing up or else I ain't gonna like it. 1374 01:37:00,039 --> 01:37:03,250 Would you kindly connect me with Harry the Horse? 1375 01:37:03,370 --> 01:37:06,121 Honey, forget the house party. I need you now. 1376 01:37:06,251 --> 01:37:10,383 Cheesecake, roust out the boys and take 'em to a Turkish bath, will you? 1377 01:37:10,503 --> 01:37:13,054 What do you think, what for? A bath, you jerk! 1378 01:37:13,174 --> 01:37:16,516 Hey, Joy Boy, get ahold of whatshisname. Rosy, the suit man. 1379 01:37:16,646 --> 01:37:20,687 That's a good idea. I'll have him measure you all for straitjackets. 1380 01:37:20,817 --> 01:37:22,858 (all talking at once) 1381 01:37:28,491 --> 01:37:36,964 (Louise) # I gave my love a cherry without no stone 1382 01:37:37,584 --> 01:37:46,018 # I gave my love a chicken without no bone 1383 01:37:46,848 --> 01:37:55,652 # I gave my love a ring that had no end 1384 01:37:56,322 --> 01:38:01,324 # I gave my love a baby 1385 01:38:01,454 --> 01:38:07,506 # With no crying 1386 01:38:08,087 --> 01:38:12,849 # I threw Carlos a flower 1387 01:38:12,969 --> 01:38:17,430 # And blushed a smile 1388 01:38:17,560 --> 01:38:22,272 # My love threw me the autumn moon 1389 01:38:22,402 --> 01:38:28,075 # And laughed a mile 1390 01:38:28,205 --> 01:38:32,787 # I gave my love a heart of love 1391 01:38:32,917 --> 01:38:37,669 # Wrapped up in pink and blue 1392 01:38:38,629 --> 01:38:44,682 # I'll give my love a baby 1393 01:38:44,812 --> 01:38:50,774 # Who'll look like you 1394 01:38:51,814 --> 01:38:55,816 - Keep singing. Please. - No, Carlos. It's your turn. 1395 01:38:55,946 --> 01:38:59,287 - I'm busy. - The wedding poem. You promised. 1396 01:38:59,408 --> 01:39:02,089 - Keep still. - You'll have to at the wedding feast. 1397 01:39:02,209 --> 01:39:05,750 Your father told me that every Romero for 1,000 years has had to do it. 1398 01:39:05,880 --> 01:39:10,012 - All because some silly ancestor wrote it. - I love it. Please? 1399 01:39:10,132 --> 01:39:12,473 You interrupt people at the oddest moments. 1400 01:39:12,593 --> 01:39:15,054 Please? 1401 01:39:15,184 --> 01:39:17,515 I hope nobody is listening. 1402 01:39:21,607 --> 01:39:28,149 For her, for whom I would walk through fire, 1403 01:39:28,289 --> 01:39:35,462 the great cathedral's heavenly choir sings God's angelic music. 1404 01:39:36,343 --> 01:39:39,714 Be still, my racing heart - 1405 01:39:39,844 --> 01:39:45,136 she is floating toward me as a winged melody. 1406 01:39:45,266 --> 01:39:48,057 I burst with a Spanish pride. 1407 01:39:48,187 --> 01:39:51,609 A thousand eyes, all moist and dewy, 1408 01:39:51,739 --> 01:39:55,490 share the lovely vision. 1409 01:39:55,610 --> 01:39:59,162 Behold: my bride. 1410 01:40:18,770 --> 01:40:20,811 - Mother! - Mrs. Manville. 1411 01:40:22,361 --> 01:40:26,313 - I was lonely for you. - It is my fault. Please. 1412 01:40:26,453 --> 01:40:32,535 I have a lifetime with Louise, and you only two days. I will see you later, Mother. 1413 01:40:34,506 --> 01:40:37,377 You do not mind my calling you "Mother"? 1414 01:40:37,507 --> 01:40:40,188 I'd like that... Son. 1415 01:40:41,599 --> 01:40:44,060 Thank you... 1416 01:40:44,180 --> 01:40:46,231 Mother. 1417 01:40:50,733 --> 01:40:53,614 You do love him, don't you? 1418 01:40:53,734 --> 01:40:57,245 So much it must show, Mama. 1419 01:40:57,365 --> 01:40:59,997 Today, when we were walking along Broadway, 1420 01:41:00,127 --> 01:41:04,078 a little old flower pedlar - a deaf and dumb lady - gave me this. 1421 01:41:04,208 --> 01:41:09,841 She insisted I take it, and she refused to accept a penny for it. 1422 01:41:09,971 --> 01:41:14,813 - Oh, Mama, life is wonderful, isn't it? - Yes, baby. Yes. 1423 01:41:17,564 --> 01:41:19,815 - Mama? - Yes? 1424 01:41:21,865 --> 01:41:25,987 You don't think anything can... can happen, do you? 1425 01:41:26,117 --> 01:41:30,619 - Happen? - I'm foolish, I suppose. 1426 01:41:30,749 --> 01:41:33,210 Maybe it's because I'm wishing so hard. 1427 01:41:33,340 --> 01:41:36,631 Mama, have you ever wished for something so hard... 1428 01:41:36,761 --> 01:41:39,132 Nothing's going to happen. 1429 01:41:40,553 --> 01:41:42,594 Nothing. 1430 01:41:51,447 --> 01:41:53,408 - (intercom buzzes) - Yeah? 1431 01:41:53,528 --> 01:41:57,450 - Captain Moore to see you, Inspector. - Send him right in. 1432 01:41:58,080 --> 01:42:01,862 - Anything on the missing reporters? - Nothing, Inspector. Not a thing. 1433 01:42:02,002 --> 01:42:04,043 The newspapers are crucifying us. 1434 01:42:04,173 --> 01:42:06,253 - You hear Winchell last night? - (buzzer) 1435 01:42:06,384 --> 01:42:09,095 - Yeah? - The commissioner's on the phone. 1436 01:42:09,225 --> 01:42:12,426 There he is again. Fourth time today. 1437 01:42:12,556 --> 01:42:13,977 Hello, Commissioner. 1438 01:42:14,097 --> 01:42:17,358 No, but I've got Captain Moore in my office right now. 1439 01:42:17,478 --> 01:42:20,059 - No, not a thing yet. - What do you mean? 1440 01:42:20,189 --> 01:42:23,200 I'm not gonna be made the goat for the whole department. 1441 01:42:23,320 --> 01:42:24,911 (intercom buzzes) 1442 01:42:25,031 --> 01:42:27,202 - What is it? - The mayor's on the phone. 1443 01:42:27,332 --> 01:42:31,624 - Didn't you tell him I was out? - He didn't believe it. 1444 01:42:31,754 --> 01:42:34,375 Hold on a minute. 1445 01:42:34,505 --> 01:42:39,557 Hello. Yeah, Chief. I was just talking to Inspector McCrary. Not a thing yet. 1446 01:42:39,677 --> 01:42:42,428 I have had a supersufficiency of "not a thing". 1447 01:42:42,558 --> 01:42:46,980 I want some action, and I want it quickly. Every editor in town is in my office now. 1448 01:42:47,110 --> 01:42:51,862 And you'll get a front-page editorial in my paper every day till something's done. 1449 01:42:51,992 --> 01:42:56,114 It is a very embarrassing situation when a reporter is not safe on our streets. 1450 01:42:56,244 --> 01:42:59,325 If the city can't do anything, perhaps the state can. 1451 01:42:59,455 --> 01:43:01,836 We'll take it up with the governor tomorrow. 1452 01:43:01,956 --> 01:43:05,167 I want you to find those three reporters, Commissioner, 1453 01:43:05,298 --> 01:43:08,679 or I will be forced to demand your resignation. 1454 01:43:11,020 --> 01:43:16,232 McCrary, you dig up those three reporters or I'll have to get myself another boy. 1455 01:43:18,903 --> 01:43:21,984 Captain, you have 24 hours to find those reporters. 1456 01:43:22,114 --> 01:43:27,957 If you can't, you'll find yourself on the other end of a broom at the horse barn! 1457 01:43:28,077 --> 01:43:31,078 - What is it? - I think we got an angle on the reporters. 1458 01:43:31,208 --> 01:43:34,249 - Speak up, son. - A funny thing happened. 1459 01:43:34,379 --> 01:43:37,761 Last Saturday I met one of the boats, to check the passenger list. 1460 01:43:37,891 --> 01:43:41,592 - Two characters shoved me into a car. - Why didn't you report it sooner? 1461 01:43:41,722 --> 01:43:46,524 They didn't hurt me, just drove me around the Bronx, then gave me taxi money. 1462 01:43:46,644 --> 01:43:48,945 - Any idea who grabbed him? - Not exactly. 1463 01:43:49,065 --> 01:43:53,777 Two of our men saw Dave the Dude at the pier Saturday night meeting some people. 1464 01:43:53,907 --> 01:43:57,449 - And with his whole mob. - Dave the Dude, hm? 1465 01:43:57,579 --> 01:44:02,251 It's not much, but we're beginning to look like a police department. 1466 01:44:02,381 --> 01:44:06,963 Captain, you better put a tail on the Dude. There could be a connection. 1467 01:44:13,065 --> 01:44:16,066 These are great, Judge. Just a few more speeches. 1468 01:44:16,186 --> 01:44:19,238 As Jimmy Durante says, "I've got a million of 'em." 1469 01:44:19,358 --> 01:44:23,659 "My dear Count, it is indeed a pleasure..." 1470 01:44:23,779 --> 01:44:28,081 I'm charmed to meet you, Count. I'm charmed to meet you... 1471 01:44:28,211 --> 01:44:32,293 - All right, hold it, everybody! - Quiet! Quiet! 1472 01:44:32,423 --> 01:44:36,425 Listen. Queenie, take your broads to the other side of the room. 1473 01:44:36,555 --> 01:44:40,676 - You guys, I want to talk to you. - Guys over here! Broads over there! 1474 01:44:40,806 --> 01:44:44,308 Come on, move it! We ain't got all night. 1475 01:44:44,438 --> 01:44:47,269 You guys, you gotta remember something. 1476 01:44:47,399 --> 01:44:50,190 You're not a bunch of bums. You're a bunch of gents. 1477 01:44:50,320 --> 01:44:55,402 Dude, you gotta make 'em stop with the pistols. They making holes in the lining. 1478 01:44:55,532 --> 01:44:58,584 I thought I told you to tell 'em to leave the rods home. 1479 01:44:58,704 --> 01:45:02,085 - Weasel, I told you - no rods! - No rods. Come on, you guys. 1480 01:45:02,215 --> 01:45:07,377 If we don't act like gents, we'll bollix the whole schmear up tomorrow night. 1481 01:45:07,507 --> 01:45:10,428 Now, you all got the speeches the judge wrote for you. 1482 01:45:10,558 --> 01:45:13,310 You know who you are, huh? I don't have to tell you? 1483 01:45:13,440 --> 01:45:16,311 - Who are you, Slops? - Governor of the State of Utta. 1484 01:45:16,441 --> 01:45:20,733 - State of what? No, no. State of Utah. - Utah, metah... 1485 01:45:20,863 --> 01:45:24,994 Look, will you read the speech the way the judge gave it to you, please? 1486 01:45:25,124 --> 01:45:29,536 Don't yak too much. Smile all the time. That'll get you by anybody, even kings. 1487 01:45:29,666 --> 01:45:34,008 Kings, yeah. But these mugs? You smile at 'em, you get a hand on the knee. 1488 01:45:34,128 --> 01:45:38,510 You've had so many hands on your knees, deary, you wear gloves for stockings. 1489 01:45:38,640 --> 01:45:40,060 OK, settle down. 1490 01:45:40,180 --> 01:45:43,352 Dude! If any of your he's make passes at my she's... 1491 01:45:43,482 --> 01:45:46,853 - No passes, no passes, no passes! - You hear that? No passes. 1492 01:45:46,983 --> 01:45:50,985 - No passes? Gee, what a party pooper. - I don't wanna hear no more from you. 1493 01:45:51,115 --> 01:45:53,946 Dude, this ain't a good speech the judge gave me. 1494 01:45:54,076 --> 01:45:57,578 - You handicapping speeches now? - This count's from out of town. 1495 01:45:57,708 --> 01:46:01,409 - So what? - I tell him he's lucky to meet Apple Annie. 1496 01:46:01,549 --> 01:46:06,511 You wanna tell him you'll fix him up with a couple of dames? Just read the speech! 1497 01:46:06,641 --> 01:46:09,723 (all talk at once) 1498 01:46:09,853 --> 01:46:11,263 Cheesecake! 1499 01:46:11,393 --> 01:46:16,555 Tell 'em to be quiet. Quiet down, guys. Will you please be quiet! 1500 01:46:16,695 --> 01:46:18,776 Why aren't you practicing? 1501 01:46:18,906 --> 01:46:21,527 - I've been practicing. Only... - Only what? 1502 01:46:21,657 --> 01:46:25,529 I'm as good as Louie the Lug is, and if he's ambassador, I oughta be a king. 1503 01:46:25,659 --> 01:46:28,750 Secretary of the interior is bigger than an ambassador. 1504 01:46:28,880 --> 01:46:33,052 I ain't as dumb as you think. A secretary's a secretary. 1505 01:46:33,172 --> 01:46:37,724 All right, all right, brain. I'll make you the postmaster. All right? 1506 01:46:37,844 --> 01:46:40,305 That's more like it. I save stamps. 1507 01:46:40,435 --> 01:46:43,816 - Yeah. Judge, you got a new postmaster. - Check. 1508 01:46:43,936 --> 01:46:45,437 Come here, Mex. 1509 01:46:45,567 --> 01:46:47,608 Give the speech to him now. 1510 01:46:47,738 --> 01:46:51,239 - You're the count. - I thought I was the governor of Florida. 1511 01:46:51,369 --> 01:46:54,791 Will you just please pretend you're the count for a minute? 1512 01:46:54,911 --> 01:46:56,662 Go ahead. Shoot. 1513 01:46:56,792 --> 01:46:58,913 Count, Your Honor... 1514 01:46:59,043 --> 01:47:02,384 it's a rare... privy... 1515 01:47:03,094 --> 01:47:05,215 - privy... - What are you talking about? 1516 01:47:05,345 --> 01:47:07,386 "It's a rare privilege", jackass! 1517 01:47:07,516 --> 01:47:13,108 Does it say that? I didn't think I was supposed to call the count no jackass. 1518 01:47:13,228 --> 01:47:17,400 - You're giving me a headache, you guys. - (booming voice) Me too! 1519 01:47:17,530 --> 01:47:22,362 What a bunch of ignoramice. Ignoramice - that's more than one ignoramouse. 1520 01:47:22,492 --> 01:47:24,703 Yeah? You too, huh? Here. 1521 01:47:24,833 --> 01:47:28,164 - (clears throat) I'm losing my voice. - Start practicin'! 1522 01:47:28,294 --> 01:47:32,166 - I am charmed to meet you, Count. - You stink. 1523 01:47:32,296 --> 01:47:33,296 Jerk. 1524 01:47:33,427 --> 01:47:36,508 No, you don't. All we need now is a crying drunk. 1525 01:47:36,638 --> 01:47:38,679 Give me one good reason to stay sober. 1526 01:47:38,809 --> 01:47:42,100 You thought all this up. You straighten out this menagerie. 1527 01:47:42,230 --> 01:47:45,612 - Hey, guys, listen to Miss Martin here! - Quiet down, everybody. 1528 01:47:45,732 --> 01:47:46,652 - Quiet! - Quiet. 1529 01:47:46,822 --> 01:47:48,903 - Quiet! - Quiet! 1530 01:47:49,033 --> 01:47:51,074 Let's do one thing at a time. 1531 01:47:51,204 --> 01:47:54,575 Forget the speeches for now and we'll concentrate on the bowing. 1532 01:47:54,705 --> 01:47:57,997 - Judge, show 'em how to bow again. - It's quite simple. 1533 01:47:58,127 --> 01:48:02,628 The movement is at the waist, with a graceful gesture of the hand - thus. 1534 01:48:02,758 --> 01:48:04,799 What's so difficult about that? 1535 01:48:04,929 --> 01:48:08,391 Head waiters do it. Foreigners do it - can't even speak English. 1536 01:48:08,521 --> 01:48:12,773 All right, listen. Have a he and a she, pair off and practice the bowing. 1537 01:48:12,903 --> 01:48:17,114 - All you broads over here! - Come on, girls. 1538 01:48:17,234 --> 01:48:19,445 Pick out a guy and start bowing. 1539 01:48:19,575 --> 01:48:22,036 Don't forget the gesture with the hand. 1540 01:48:22,156 --> 01:48:24,617 Bow. Everybody bow. Bow! 1541 01:48:36,762 --> 01:48:40,434 If I'm sober, why do I see things like this? 1542 01:48:51,038 --> 01:48:53,719 Does the board of health know about this epidemic? 1543 01:48:53,829 --> 01:48:55,870 (woman screams) 1544 01:48:56,670 --> 01:48:58,291 - What's the matter? - Him. 1545 01:48:58,421 --> 01:49:01,252 He tried to pick my pocket where there ain't no pocket. 1546 01:49:01,382 --> 01:49:03,423 (uproar) 1547 01:49:05,844 --> 01:49:12,517 All right, hold it! You guys ain't taking this thing serious. And you gals ain't either. 1548 01:49:12,647 --> 01:49:15,138 But this is serious, all right. 1549 01:49:15,278 --> 01:49:17,069 It's murder. 1550 01:49:17,199 --> 01:49:21,701 You're probably saying "What's in it for us?" I'll tell you: nothin'. 1551 01:49:21,831 --> 01:49:24,512 I mean, nothin' that you can put in your pocket. 1552 01:49:24,622 --> 01:49:29,544 After all, did any of us ever plant a bridge? Uh... build a bridge or plant a seed? 1553 01:49:29,674 --> 01:49:33,255 For once, could we just do somethin' nice for somebody? 1554 01:49:33,385 --> 01:49:35,426 This is for old Apple Annie. 1555 01:49:35,556 --> 01:49:39,898 If something goes wrong tomorrow night, there's no telling what'll happen to Annie. 1556 01:49:40,018 --> 01:49:43,770 Maybe she'll put her head in the oven - the perfect solution. 1557 01:49:43,900 --> 01:49:45,940 So come on now. We're gonna practice. 1558 01:49:46,070 --> 01:49:51,203 We're gonna get in there... Tell you what. Make believe it's for your own mother. 1559 01:49:51,333 --> 01:49:56,495 I oughta do somethin' for my mother. They won't let me see her in solitary. 1560 01:49:56,625 --> 01:49:58,966 (Dude) Now start practicing, everybody. 1561 01:49:59,086 --> 01:50:01,667 I say it again and again and again. 1562 01:50:01,797 --> 01:50:06,769 This will never work, this will never work, this will never work. 1563 01:50:06,889 --> 01:50:08,730 Happy days. 1564 01:50:25,296 --> 01:50:29,668 The music must be soft and mellow. Nothing harsh, nothing raucous. 1565 01:50:29,798 --> 01:50:33,580 Just the gentle drip of rain upon an autumn leaf. 1566 01:50:33,720 --> 01:50:37,471 - Yes, sir. I'll lay on the silk. - Splendid. Keep it schmaltzy. 1567 01:50:37,601 --> 01:50:41,233 (hums "The Marseillaise") 1568 01:50:41,353 --> 01:50:43,654 - The new men? - Yes, sir. 1569 01:50:43,774 --> 01:50:46,185 - Trustworthy? - Completely. 1570 01:50:46,325 --> 01:50:50,947 - I'm just loving this, sir. Aren't you? - Hutch, in here it's Christmas. 1571 01:50:51,077 --> 01:50:52,658 Quite. 1572 01:50:52,788 --> 01:50:57,420 # Jingle bells, jingle bells Jingle all the way... 1573 01:50:57,550 --> 01:50:59,590 Yes. 1574 01:51:01,051 --> 01:51:07,974 As Pascal said: the heart hath reasons that reason itself knows nothing about. 1575 01:51:09,224 --> 01:51:10,775 A handkerchief. 1576 01:51:10,895 --> 01:51:13,816 - A handkerchief. - It's in your hand, ma'am. 1577 01:51:13,946 --> 01:51:16,657 Yes, of course. 1578 01:51:16,777 --> 01:51:20,369 Lola, do I look all right? 1579 01:51:20,499 --> 01:51:23,660 The head waiter at the Ritz would give you the best table. 1580 01:51:23,790 --> 01:51:24,791 God bless you. 1581 01:51:24,921 --> 01:51:27,492 See for yourself, Mrs. E Worthington Manville. 1582 01:51:27,632 --> 01:51:30,923 You'd make Cinderella look barefoot. 1583 01:51:32,224 --> 01:51:35,095 I don't know who that is in there. 1584 01:51:35,225 --> 01:51:39,307 I hope the whole thing isn't a dream. 1585 01:51:39,437 --> 01:51:41,477 Give me my basket. 1586 01:51:45,199 --> 01:51:47,690 Apples? Apples? 1587 01:51:47,830 --> 01:51:50,401 Your beautiful dream's coming true, Annie. 1588 01:51:50,541 --> 01:51:56,083 God love you. Everybody's so wonderful... and I'm so scared. 1589 01:51:56,213 --> 01:51:58,254 - (knocking) - Come in. 1590 01:52:01,676 --> 01:52:05,057 Shades of Aphrodite, goddess of beauty! 1591 01:52:05,187 --> 01:52:09,049 Oh, that man just fills a room. 1592 01:52:09,189 --> 01:52:12,070 Never in all my questionable career 1593 01:52:12,190 --> 01:52:15,611 have I feasted my eyes upon such divine loveliness. 1594 01:52:15,741 --> 01:52:18,152 Cut it out, Judge. When's the Dude coming? 1595 01:52:18,282 --> 01:52:23,294 8 o'clock, my fluttering dove, and bringing the best-trained social lions you ever saw. 1596 01:52:23,414 --> 01:52:26,336 - But can they fool the count? - Fret nyet, my pet. 1597 01:52:26,466 --> 01:52:30,167 You'll behold a miracle. Orchids bloom where weeds once grew. 1598 01:52:30,297 --> 01:52:33,008 - What if they make mistakes? - The Dude'll kill 'em. 1599 01:52:33,138 --> 01:52:36,020 - The poor dears. - Pull yourself together, dearest. 1600 01:52:36,140 --> 01:52:40,401 You're the proud mother of a daughter whose engagement is being announced. 1601 01:52:40,521 --> 01:52:42,982 And don't think of mistakes. 1602 01:52:43,112 --> 01:52:47,064 If any mug pulls a boner, I'll flood the room with a torrent of oratory. 1603 01:52:47,204 --> 01:52:51,576 - You're wonderful, Judge. - I know. Here's the receiving line plan. 1604 01:52:51,706 --> 01:52:54,167 You stand next to me, 1605 01:52:54,297 --> 01:52:56,628 then Louise, then the count... 1606 01:52:56,758 --> 01:53:00,430 - Yeah. And where am I? - Right here. 1607 01:53:00,840 --> 01:53:03,091 Dude and his mob are at Queenie Martin's. 1608 01:53:03,221 --> 01:53:06,772 - What are they doing there? - I don't know. 1609 01:53:06,892 --> 01:53:10,274 It sure looks big. They got a line of cars out here a block long. 1610 01:53:10,404 --> 01:53:14,695 - Stay on his tail. Don't let him get away. - Right. 1611 01:53:14,825 --> 01:53:17,076 Let's close off the block. 1612 01:53:19,287 --> 01:53:23,209 Confidentially, at times I'm a bit ashamed of my fellow Americans. 1613 01:53:23,339 --> 01:53:27,591 The way they fawn over celebrities, particularly you titled nobility. 1614 01:53:27,711 --> 01:53:31,132 - I think that is charming. - They're like children. 1615 01:53:31,262 --> 01:53:34,643 Tonight in your presence they'll probably stammer 1616 01:53:34,763 --> 01:53:37,855 and appear to be tongue-tied and awkward. 1617 01:53:37,985 --> 01:53:41,186 - I beg you to make allowances for them. - But of course. 1618 01:53:41,316 --> 01:53:43,777 Different countries, different customs. 1619 01:53:43,907 --> 01:53:45,618 Which reminds me, Judge. 1620 01:53:45,738 --> 01:53:49,409 There is a custom in my country which is not a custom in your country. 1621 01:53:49,540 --> 01:53:52,501 I have been hoping that you would speak about it. 1622 01:53:52,621 --> 01:53:56,672 - Indeed, sir? What's on your mind? - The dowry, my dear Judge. 1623 01:53:56,802 --> 01:54:01,014 As yet, nothing has been said about the dowry. 1624 01:54:01,134 --> 01:54:03,385 - The dowry, huh? - Sí. 1625 01:54:03,515 --> 01:54:07,017 I am aware, of course, that in America it is not important. 1626 01:54:07,147 --> 01:54:09,558 But in my country it is the first arrangement. 1627 01:54:09,688 --> 01:54:13,029 In your country, yes. In my country... 1628 01:54:13,159 --> 01:54:16,571 The dowry, huh? I don't know what to say, Count. 1629 01:54:16,701 --> 01:54:19,532 - You crept up on me on that one. - I beg your pardon? 1630 01:54:19,662 --> 01:54:22,753 I mean, this is so totally unexpected. 1631 01:54:22,873 --> 01:54:27,135 Don't you think it's... a bit vulgar to speak of money? 1632 01:54:27,255 --> 01:54:30,596 Well, let us be vulgar, then, for a moment. 1633 01:54:30,716 --> 01:54:35,878 I am willing to make a settlement equal to 50,000 of your dollars. 1634 01:54:36,018 --> 01:54:39,940 - You are? Of my dollars? - Sí. 1635 01:54:40,070 --> 01:54:44,822 I have been hoping that you would be willing to make a similar settlement. 1636 01:54:44,952 --> 01:54:48,033 Willing? Yes, yes, of course. Willing. 1637 01:54:48,163 --> 01:54:50,874 Ah. Old Napoleon. 1638 01:54:50,995 --> 01:54:53,706 Join me in a nippy with Nappy? 1639 01:54:53,836 --> 01:54:55,876 Delighted, Judge. 1640 01:54:56,007 --> 01:55:00,548 I see you keep your billiard table in excellent condition. 1641 01:55:02,269 --> 01:55:05,020 - Do you play? - Do I play? 1642 01:55:05,140 --> 01:55:08,562 Señor, in Barcelona I am the champion. 1643 01:55:09,402 --> 01:55:12,403 Well, now, isn't that just... 1644 01:55:13,364 --> 01:55:16,285 - You don't say? - Sí. 1645 01:55:17,075 --> 01:55:21,627 Perhaps... a little game before the guests arrive? 1646 01:55:21,747 --> 01:55:25,419 I can think of nothing that would give me greater pleasure. 1647 01:55:25,549 --> 01:55:27,589 (both hum cheerfully) 1648 01:55:33,522 --> 01:55:37,643 - Oh, about that dowry, Count. - Yes, Judge? 1649 01:55:37,774 --> 01:55:42,235 It just occurred to me, as the young folks are going back to Spain to live with you, 1650 01:55:42,365 --> 01:55:44,936 - I should give the whole amount. - Oh, no, no. 1651 01:55:45,076 --> 01:55:47,367 I could not let you bear the entire burden. 1652 01:55:47,497 --> 01:55:51,329 But it's no burden, my dear Alfonso. So, the matter's settled. 1653 01:55:51,459 --> 01:55:53,500 Please, my dear host. 1654 01:55:53,630 --> 01:55:57,462 You are so gracious. You make me feel ashamed. 1655 01:55:57,592 --> 01:56:02,514 - I shall take care of the full amount. - It's silly. We could debate this for hours. 1656 01:56:02,644 --> 01:56:06,185 In America we have methods to settle such differences. 1657 01:56:06,315 --> 01:56:09,606 - We toss coins or pull straws... - (chuckles) 1658 01:56:09,737 --> 01:56:14,068 - What's so amusing, Alfonso? - I could take advantage of you, Judge. 1659 01:56:14,198 --> 01:56:19,440 Indeed, sir? You wouldn't suggest a billiards contest? 1660 01:56:19,581 --> 01:56:21,411 (Alfonso chuckles) 1661 01:56:21,541 --> 01:56:23,672 (both chuckle) 1662 01:56:23,792 --> 01:56:26,753 (# "Blue Danube Waltz" by Strauss) 1663 01:56:29,475 --> 01:56:32,226 - (phone) - That's enough. You'll start sweatin'. 1664 01:56:32,346 --> 01:56:34,397 (Junior) No sweatin'! Nobody sweats! 1665 01:56:34,517 --> 01:56:37,608 - Dude, it's gonna work, so help me. - Get your coat, baby. 1666 01:56:37,728 --> 01:56:41,599 Dave! Come here. We're in, kid, we're in. 1667 01:56:41,740 --> 01:56:47,332 It's Darcey. Says you can write your own ticket. Yes or no? 1668 01:56:48,412 --> 01:56:50,453 On my terms, Darcey? 1669 01:56:51,964 --> 01:56:53,624 All right. I'll tell you what you do. 1670 01:56:53,754 --> 01:56:57,536 You bring Little Switz to pier 84 at midnight. 1671 01:56:57,676 --> 01:56:59,717 And bring the cash. 1672 01:57:06,149 --> 01:57:09,771 - What do you think of my apple now? - I love it, I love it, I love it. 1673 01:57:09,901 --> 01:57:11,742 Ready, Dude. 1674 01:57:11,862 --> 01:57:16,624 Folks, Queenie and I are leaving now. The rest of you follow in groups of four. 1675 01:57:16,744 --> 01:57:19,875 - And, Junior, you take over here. - Good night. 1676 01:57:20,005 --> 01:57:22,046 Good luck, Dude. 1677 01:57:24,427 --> 01:57:27,718 Queenie, the Darcey deal's all set. 1678 01:57:27,848 --> 01:57:30,059 On my terms. 1679 01:57:30,179 --> 01:57:35,021 I'm gonna need you now more than ever. So don't leave me. 1680 01:57:36,812 --> 01:57:38,863 OK, Dave. 1681 01:57:38,983 --> 01:57:41,024 Anything you say. 1682 01:57:47,206 --> 01:57:49,247 That's him. 1683 01:57:50,918 --> 01:57:54,209 Mr. Dude, there's cops all around the place. 1684 01:57:58,301 --> 01:58:00,352 Thank you, mister. 1685 01:58:06,444 --> 01:58:09,815 (Junior) Like the boss said, you walk out... 1686 01:58:09,945 --> 01:58:13,577 - Boss, what's the matter? - There's cops out there. Millions of 'em. 1687 01:58:13,697 --> 01:58:15,328 - Cops? - What do we do now? 1688 01:58:15,458 --> 01:58:18,789 We can't go over to Annie's. They'll follow us. 1689 01:58:18,919 --> 01:58:22,591 Queenie, get the judge on the phone. We gotta stall 'em. 1690 01:58:22,711 --> 01:58:26,262 - What are they doing out there? - I don't know. I don't figure it. 1691 01:58:26,382 --> 01:58:29,133 - I didn't do nothin'. - Let me think. 1692 01:58:30,054 --> 01:58:33,515 - What amazing luck. - I've been very fortunate, haven't I? 1693 01:58:33,645 --> 01:58:38,107 24-24. You realize, you make this shot, you win? 1694 01:58:38,237 --> 01:58:41,448 Really? This shot seems practically impossible. 1695 01:58:41,578 --> 01:58:43,199 I have seen it made. 1696 01:58:43,329 --> 01:58:47,030 It's a seven-cushion shot with high, delicate right-hand English. 1697 01:58:47,161 --> 01:58:49,572 - That would take an expert. - I beg pardon, sir. 1698 01:58:49,712 --> 01:58:54,544 Mrs. Manville's brother-in- law on the telephone. He says it's very urgent. 1699 01:58:54,674 --> 01:58:56,714 I shall be there directly. 1700 01:59:08,109 --> 01:59:12,031 - You made it! - Most fortunate. Most fortunate. 1701 01:59:16,202 --> 01:59:21,044 - The judge... expert. - Oh, sir, I beat him regularly. 1702 01:59:21,174 --> 01:59:23,215 Thank you, sir. 1703 01:59:29,228 --> 01:59:34,730 Hello, brother David. Congratulate me. I just saved you $50,000. 1704 01:59:34,860 --> 01:59:39,152 Knock off the lousy jokes. We're in a jam. The place is surrounded by bluecoats. 1705 01:59:39,282 --> 01:59:41,323 Cops? 1706 01:59:41,453 --> 01:59:43,784 I don't care for that at all, my dear Dude. 1707 01:59:43,914 --> 01:59:48,335 Would you suggest that I fold my tent and silently scram into the night? 1708 01:59:48,455 --> 01:59:50,796 You better stay right where you are. 1709 01:59:50,916 --> 01:59:54,758 - Just stall 'em. I'll figure something out. - Figure fast, Dude. 1710 01:59:54,888 --> 01:59:57,179 I'm notoriously poor at bag-holding. 1711 01:59:57,309 --> 01:59:59,510 - What is it, Henry? - Nothing, my dear. 1712 01:59:59,640 --> 02:00:02,891 I heard you. You said something about cops. 1713 02:00:03,021 --> 02:00:05,903 - They're not coming here, are they? - Of course not. 1714 02:00:06,023 --> 02:00:09,894 - Don't lie to me. Tell me the truth. - Don't get yourself all worked up. 1715 02:00:10,034 --> 02:00:12,905 If something's going to happen, I have got to know. 1716 02:00:13,035 --> 02:00:15,246 I'd rather tell them the truth myself. 1717 02:00:15,376 --> 02:00:19,038 Mama! Look what the count gave me to wear tonight. 1718 02:00:19,168 --> 02:00:22,799 It's an heirloom that used to belong to Queen Isabella. 1719 02:00:22,919 --> 02:00:26,551 - It's beautiful, dear. - It's going to be mine after the wedding. 1720 02:00:26,681 --> 02:00:29,012 Carlos hasn't seen it on me. 1721 02:00:32,854 --> 02:00:34,894 (door closes) 1722 02:00:35,024 --> 02:00:39,276 She's a lovely girl, isn't she, Judge? 1723 02:00:39,406 --> 02:00:44,288 - Don't you think she's lovely? - Angelic, my dear. 1724 02:00:44,408 --> 02:00:47,039 What am I going to do? 1725 02:00:47,169 --> 02:00:51,291 Suppose the count calls off the wedding. 1726 02:00:52,462 --> 02:00:54,512 She'd hate me. 1727 02:00:54,632 --> 02:00:57,724 Don't be silly, Annie. 1728 02:01:00,015 --> 02:01:04,396 She'll want to know who her father is. 1729 02:01:04,526 --> 02:01:10,199 What am I going to tell you? You see, I was never married. 1730 02:01:10,329 --> 02:01:14,951 You won't have to tell her anything. Now get a grip on yourself. 1731 02:01:15,081 --> 02:01:19,212 Dude'll come up with something. He always does. 1732 02:01:30,107 --> 02:01:35,069 Before this evening is over, I expect a complete apology from you. 1733 02:01:35,189 --> 02:01:37,650 - That is why I asked you here. - My dear Count. 1734 02:01:37,780 --> 02:01:44,203 Nothing would give me greater satisfaction than to be proven an imbecile. 1735 02:01:47,754 --> 02:01:50,435 What time do the guests arrive? 1736 02:01:50,545 --> 02:01:55,257 Well, no one arrives first, sir. They all come in last. 1737 02:02:07,532 --> 02:02:10,533 - Hey, Boss... - Will you knock it off? 1738 02:02:10,663 --> 02:02:14,705 Those bulls out there ain't got nothin' on me, or they'd break that door down. 1739 02:02:14,835 --> 02:02:19,167 But how am I gonna get all these people to Annie's without them cops tailin' us? 1740 02:02:19,297 --> 02:02:21,708 - You've got one ace in the hole. - What's that? 1741 02:02:21,838 --> 02:02:26,640 - Give 'em what they want: the truth. - The truth, to the cops? 1742 02:02:26,770 --> 02:02:28,891 Are you out of your skull? 1743 02:02:30,061 --> 02:02:34,603 Wait a minute. I got what they want. 1744 02:02:36,154 --> 02:02:38,195 Yeah. 1745 02:02:38,325 --> 02:02:42,076 I'm gonna go down and see the commissioner and make a deal. 1746 02:02:42,206 --> 02:02:45,988 - The commissioner? - Right. Take over, Junior. 1747 02:02:46,128 --> 02:02:51,720 - Joy Boy, come on. - I don't like it. I don't like the whole thing. 1748 02:02:51,840 --> 02:02:53,881 Everybody, up on your feet. 1749 02:02:54,011 --> 02:02:57,142 I didn't like the way you bowed. We're gonna do the bow. 1750 02:02:57,262 --> 02:02:59,223 - (moaning) - Let's go. 1751 02:03:18,251 --> 02:03:22,202 Look, all I ask you, Commissioner, is you just lay off me for tonight. 1752 02:03:22,342 --> 02:03:26,184 That's all? Don't you want me to give you the keys to the city too? 1753 02:03:26,304 --> 02:03:32,026 - What's your mob doing at Queenie's? - Nothin' that would interest you. 1754 02:03:32,146 --> 02:03:35,448 You see, I just can't tell anybody about it. 1755 02:03:35,568 --> 02:03:39,740 But if you'll just give me a base on balls for tonight, I'll save your badge. 1756 02:03:39,870 --> 02:03:44,501 - What do you mean, save my badge? - You wanna find those reporters. 1757 02:03:44,622 --> 02:03:46,872 - You got those reporters? - I got friends. 1758 02:03:47,002 --> 02:03:50,044 All I gotta do is just spread the word around those friends 1759 02:03:50,174 --> 02:03:53,805 and those newsboys will show up tomorrow just as good as new. 1760 02:03:53,925 --> 02:03:57,767 All I ask you is, please, just lay off me for tonight. 1761 02:03:57,897 --> 02:04:02,689 I don't make deals with bums. You'll have a police escort until they show up. 1762 02:04:02,819 --> 02:04:06,030 Wait a minute. OK, Mac, I'm gonna tell you something. 1763 02:04:06,150 --> 02:04:11,953 I got those reporters, and they ain't showing up until I'm good and ready. 1764 02:04:12,083 --> 02:04:15,914 - Now are we gonna do business? - Sure, Dude. We can do business. 1765 02:04:16,044 --> 02:04:19,126 - Frisk these guys and book 'em. - What? 1766 02:04:19,256 --> 02:04:21,587 You can always do business with the police. 1767 02:04:21,717 --> 02:04:24,508 - This ain't gonna get you no place. - Get me the mayor. 1768 02:04:24,638 --> 02:04:27,559 He's throwing that big party for the governor. 1769 02:04:27,689 --> 02:04:31,311 - When he finds out what this is about... - Why drag the mayor in? 1770 02:04:31,441 --> 02:04:35,572 I bet he'll make a deal with you too. He'll probably settle for about 50 years. 1771 02:04:35,692 --> 02:04:40,114 There's nothing crooked going on here. When you hear the story, you'll laugh. 1772 02:04:40,244 --> 02:04:43,836 I'm laughing already, Dude. I been waitin' ten years to laugh at you. 1773 02:04:43,956 --> 02:04:47,547 - Hello, Chief. - Hold it. Just before you talk to him... 1774 02:04:47,667 --> 02:04:50,128 Joy Boy, I told Queenie I'd tell the truth. 1775 02:04:50,258 --> 02:04:54,100 I'm gonna give you the truth. You'll think I'm nuts, but it's the truth. 1776 02:04:54,220 --> 02:04:55,971 It's like... 1777 02:04:56,101 --> 02:04:59,312 - Well, it's... - Like a Mother Goose story. 1778 02:04:59,442 --> 02:05:03,984 That's right. It's like one of those stories you tell the kids when you put 'em to bed. 1779 02:05:04,114 --> 02:05:07,815 Hold on, Chief. Dave the Dude - bootlegger, racketeer and gambler - 1780 02:05:07,945 --> 02:05:11,207 wants to tell me a beddy-bye story. 1781 02:05:11,327 --> 02:05:17,089 OK, forget it. I'm gonna hang before I let any fink of a cop give me the horselaugh. 1782 02:05:17,209 --> 02:05:22,721 As for you, Mr. Mayor... You tell Mr. Mayor he'll never see those reporters again. 1783 02:05:22,841 --> 02:05:26,973 - Dave the Dude is in my office. - I've gotta use the phone. 1784 02:05:27,103 --> 02:05:29,854 He admits he's got those reporters. 1785 02:05:29,984 --> 02:05:34,406 Good work, Commissioner! Dave the Dude admits having the reporters. 1786 02:05:34,526 --> 02:05:36,987 - Dave the what? - Fancy-pants ex-bootlegger. 1787 02:05:37,117 --> 02:05:40,409 - Excellent. Have they arrested him? - Of course, Governor. 1788 02:05:40,539 --> 02:05:44,370 But what do you suppose will happen now? A bail bond and he's out laughing. 1789 02:05:44,500 --> 02:05:47,752 - That's ridiculous. - That's the way things go down here. 1790 02:05:47,882 --> 02:05:53,124 Of all the nerve. Who does he think he is? He can't make any deals with the police. 1791 02:05:53,264 --> 02:05:56,435 There's an example, Governor. You see? He makes deals. 1792 02:05:56,565 --> 02:06:01,317 The Dude says if we don't let him alone tonight we won't see the reporters again. 1793 02:06:01,447 --> 02:06:05,069 - Why, this is outrageous. - Don't get excited, Governor. 1794 02:06:05,199 --> 02:06:08,700 It's quite the customary procedure. 1795 02:06:08,830 --> 02:06:10,451 Bring the Dude up here. 1796 02:06:10,581 --> 02:06:13,792 That's exactly what I said. Bring him without delay. 1797 02:06:13,922 --> 02:06:17,504 Don't worry about my guests. This is more important. 1798 02:06:17,634 --> 02:06:21,385 You criticize my administration. Let's see what you can do with him. 1799 02:06:21,515 --> 02:06:26,307 - I'd send a criminal like that away for life. - Here's your chance, Governor. 1800 02:06:26,437 --> 02:06:29,979 All right, Slops, up on your blisters. You ain't bowing right. 1801 02:06:30,109 --> 02:06:34,060 Lay off, Junior. I've bowed so much, I've got a callus on my bellybutton. 1802 02:06:34,200 --> 02:06:37,282 - Come on. Bow. - Sit down, Junior. Save your strength. 1803 02:06:37,412 --> 02:06:39,032 (phone rings) 1804 02:06:39,162 --> 02:06:41,203 Hello. Dude? 1805 02:06:42,164 --> 02:06:44,845 You're where? With the police? 1806 02:06:47,006 --> 02:06:50,597 You're gonna go over and pick up the reporters? 1807 02:06:50,717 --> 02:06:52,758 Poor Annie. 1808 02:06:53,888 --> 02:06:56,430 All right. I'll go right over. 1809 02:07:01,612 --> 02:07:05,613 I feel sorry for the whole stinkin' world. 1810 02:07:05,743 --> 02:07:09,525 - What's it gonna be? - It's all off. 1811 02:07:09,665 --> 02:07:13,536 Send the suits back. I'm sorry. You can go home. Thanks for everything. 1812 02:07:13,667 --> 02:07:16,918 - That's a shame. - (murmurs of disappointment) 1813 02:07:17,048 --> 02:07:19,759 You learned how to bow, didn't you? 1814 02:07:19,889 --> 02:07:22,380 - I wish I could cry. - (glass smashes) 1815 02:07:22,510 --> 02:07:24,561 Come on, Junior. 1816 02:07:50,181 --> 02:07:53,343 There's nobody at Queenie Martin's. 1817 02:07:57,855 --> 02:08:03,097 No, no, Annie. Don't do anything foolish. 1818 02:08:03,237 --> 02:08:06,488 Mama? Isn't anybody coming? 1819 02:08:09,869 --> 02:08:11,920 Mama, what's wrong? 1820 02:08:13,541 --> 02:08:15,592 Louise, baby. 1821 02:08:19,423 --> 02:08:22,725 If you should... If anything should happen... 1822 02:08:22,845 --> 02:08:25,476 Mama? 1823 02:08:25,606 --> 02:08:30,848 - You wouldn't hate your mother? - Don't say things like that. 1824 02:08:35,990 --> 02:08:38,671 Is the count in the living room? 1825 02:08:42,373 --> 02:08:44,423 What is it, Mama? 1826 02:08:47,925 --> 02:08:49,596 La commedia è finita. 1827 02:08:49,716 --> 02:08:53,847 Send the waiters and the musicians home and call a doctor. Where's poor Annie? 1828 02:08:56,648 --> 02:08:59,059 Annie, I'm so sorry. 1829 02:09:16,006 --> 02:09:20,508 Count Romero, I'd like to talk to you for a minute, please. 1830 02:09:25,440 --> 02:09:30,572 I'm sure you must know there's nothing in the world I want more 1831 02:09:30,692 --> 02:09:33,944 than for my daughter to marry your son. 1832 02:09:35,744 --> 02:09:38,826 She loves him. Loves him very much. 1833 02:09:40,126 --> 02:09:43,798 And I know he loves her too. 1834 02:09:46,049 --> 02:09:49,140 Ever since Louise was born, 1835 02:09:51,261 --> 02:09:54,772 I've lived for one thing: 1836 02:09:54,892 --> 02:09:56,943 her future. 1837 02:09:58,103 --> 02:10:04,536 And when she wrote me that she'd found someone she loved... 1838 02:10:04,656 --> 02:10:07,957 I was the happiest mother in the world. 1839 02:10:11,339 --> 02:10:16,971 Count Romero, I know you came to America to find out all about us, 1840 02:10:17,091 --> 02:10:21,223 about Louise's family. 1841 02:10:21,353 --> 02:10:26,815 - No, no, señora... - No, I don't blame you. You have the right. 1842 02:10:27,856 --> 02:10:35,579 And it would be terrible after they were married to find out that... 1843 02:10:37,079 --> 02:10:40,581 that Louise's mother was... 1844 02:10:40,711 --> 02:10:43,502 someone you would be ashamed of, 1845 02:10:43,632 --> 02:10:46,503 that even Louise would be ashamed of. 1846 02:10:46,633 --> 02:10:48,764 - That's silly, Mama. - Mrs. Manville... 1847 02:10:48,884 --> 02:10:51,975 Let me go on. 1848 02:10:52,105 --> 02:10:57,227 I wanted this talk so you would find out all about me. 1849 02:10:59,859 --> 02:11:02,199 First of all, Count Romero, 1850 02:11:04,240 --> 02:11:07,452 I must tell you that... I am... 1851 02:11:07,582 --> 02:11:11,793 (voices of crowd approaching) 1852 02:11:30,071 --> 02:11:32,532 (# "Minuet" by Boccherini) 1853 02:11:43,546 --> 02:11:47,338 His Honor, the Mayor of the city of New York. 1854 02:11:51,690 --> 02:11:55,811 Go ahead, Mayor. It's your idea. Start beaming. 1855 02:11:59,863 --> 02:12:02,434 My dear Mrs. Manville. So good to see you again. 1856 02:12:02,574 --> 02:12:05,915 The last time I had the pleasure was at your party at Briar Cliff. 1857 02:12:06,035 --> 02:12:08,717 I will never forget it. It was a brilliant affair. 1858 02:12:08,837 --> 02:12:11,748 This, of course, is Louise, the image of her late father. 1859 02:12:11,878 --> 02:12:15,579 - You're giving us the good news tonight? - So nice to see you, dear. 1860 02:12:15,719 --> 02:12:19,141 You look just lovely. Have you seen Lord Ferncliffe lately? 1861 02:12:19,261 --> 02:12:23,893 - Welcome to our city, sir. - You look younger than in the newsreels. 1862 02:12:24,023 --> 02:12:26,064 Indeed? Thank you very much. 1863 02:12:26,194 --> 02:12:28,405 This is my son Carlos. His Honor, the Mayor. 1864 02:12:28,525 --> 02:12:32,866 And you are the lucky young man. Congratulations. 1865 02:12:35,868 --> 02:12:40,950 His Excellency, the Governor of New York State. 1866 02:12:41,090 --> 02:12:43,581 (applause) 1867 02:12:57,696 --> 02:13:02,698 My dear Mrs. Manville, what a pleasure to see you again so soon, and so radiant. 1868 02:13:02,829 --> 02:13:04,949 And this is the fabulous Louise. 1869 02:13:05,079 --> 02:13:10,632 I've always admired you, so her beauty doesn't surprise me. You know my wife? 1870 02:13:10,752 --> 02:13:15,344 (wife) We're so happy to be here. We wouldn't have missed this for the world. 1871 02:13:15,474 --> 02:13:18,635 (governor) Count, allow me to welcome you to New York. 1872 02:13:18,765 --> 02:13:21,336 I'm crying. 1873 02:13:21,476 --> 02:13:23,817 Dude, I'm crying! 1874 02:13:23,937 --> 02:13:28,699 - Joy Boy, look, I'm crying! - All right. I got my own troubles. 1875 02:13:30,570 --> 02:13:32,621 (sirens) 1876 02:13:33,741 --> 02:13:36,872 A police escort. That is more than we get in Barcelona. 1877 02:13:37,002 --> 02:13:40,954 It's nothing, my dear Carlos. I've had many a police escort. 1878 02:13:41,084 --> 02:13:43,385 How about that? 1879 02:13:43,505 --> 02:13:47,137 The mayor, the governor, the cops. 1880 02:13:47,267 --> 02:13:49,307 I thought they were all crooks. 1881 02:13:49,437 --> 02:13:53,019 Why did they do it? They gotta have an angle. 1882 02:13:53,149 --> 02:13:57,151 Delightful experience. Made me feel ten years younger. 1883 02:13:57,281 --> 02:14:01,062 Are you still gonna investigate the mayor's administration, Governor? 1884 02:14:01,202 --> 02:14:05,454 I don't think so. I think we'll postpone it. 1885 02:14:05,584 --> 02:14:12,547 I must call the commissioner tomorrow. I made his life miserable the last few days. 1886 02:14:12,677 --> 02:14:14,718 ...the engagement of their daughter Louise 1887 02:14:14,848 --> 02:14:18,969 to Carlos Romero of Barcelona, Spain, at a gala reception last night, and so on. 1888 02:14:19,100 --> 02:14:22,311 Take it from there and include a complete list of the guests. 1889 02:14:22,441 --> 02:14:26,192 - And that's your story, all of it. - But what about our being snatched? 1890 02:14:26,322 --> 02:14:29,364 You weren't snatched. You were out on a drunk. 1891 02:14:29,494 --> 02:14:30,904 - Drunk? - Drunk. 1892 02:14:31,034 --> 02:14:33,525 # We're going to the boat to see her off 1893 02:14:33,665 --> 02:14:35,876 # Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day 1894 02:14:35,996 --> 02:14:39,628 Happy days must really be back if you bums are taking cabs now. 1895 02:14:39,758 --> 02:14:44,260 - Pipe down. We're with the governor. - Dry up. We're godfathers. 1896 02:14:44,390 --> 02:14:49,352 # Fare thee well, fare thee well Fare thee well, my dear Louise 1897 02:14:49,472 --> 02:14:52,053 # For we're going to the boat to see her off 1898 02:14:52,193 --> 02:14:54,314 # Singing Polly Wolly Doodle all the day 1899 02:14:54,444 --> 02:14:56,485 (ship's hooter) 1900 02:14:57,485 --> 02:15:00,326 (band plays "A Life on the Ocean Wave") 1901 02:15:12,511 --> 02:15:17,433 Little Switz? It's parked right behind you. 1902 02:15:18,564 --> 02:15:22,475 He's waiting. He's got 100 G's in small bills. 1903 02:15:25,737 --> 02:15:30,779 Boss, you got business. Can I have the night off? I gotta go see Ma. 1904 02:15:30,909 --> 02:15:34,750 Wait a minute. Listen, Dave. My wife, I ain't seen her in a week. 1905 02:15:34,870 --> 02:15:37,081 And she's this way again, so... 1906 02:15:37,211 --> 02:15:39,582 - What do you say we split a cab? - Come on. 1907 02:15:39,712 --> 02:15:41,463 (ship's hooter) 1908 02:15:43,054 --> 02:15:45,465 - Elizabeth. - Yeah. 1909 02:15:45,595 --> 02:15:47,636 Huh? 1910 02:15:47,766 --> 02:15:52,357 What was the name of that town in Maryland? 1911 02:15:52,478 --> 02:15:54,318 Now, come on. Quit bawling. 1912 02:15:54,939 --> 02:15:57,069 (ship's hooter) 1913 02:16:04,002 --> 02:16:09,124 My baby. My darling. God bless you. 1914 02:16:09,885 --> 02:16:11,925 Adiós. 1915 02:16:12,055 --> 02:16:14,597 (band plays "Auld Lang Syne") 1916 02:16:15,597 --> 02:16:18,678 Courage, my pet. Don't faint now. Courage. 1917 02:16:25,281 --> 02:16:27,652 Goodbye, Louise! Goodbye, Louise! 1918 02:16:27,782 --> 02:16:30,413 - Goodbye, Louise! - Hey, hey, hey! 1919 02:16:30,533 --> 02:16:33,414 Why are you standing there with your mouths open? 1920 02:16:33,544 --> 02:16:36,625 The crowd on this dock is loaded. Start hustling. 1921 02:16:36,756 --> 02:16:41,878 Cos I'm gonna raise you one buck a month to work on Broadway. 1922 02:16:42,008 --> 02:16:44,048 Goodbye, Louise! 158045

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