Original subtitles

How far is it.

About a block. Think you can make it?

Is it worth trying?

I think so.

Then I'll make it.

It gets lonely sometimes.

My old man split on me a couple of months ago.

You won't be lonely.

Hey Mark, how are you? I didn't hear you come in.

Get tied up in traffic?

Doesn't everybody.

- Want a donut? - No thanks.

Hey sweetheart, ready yet?

Be right down.

What about you Mark?

Few more minutes.

I'm ready now Jobal.

How do I look?

Let me get a better look.

Okay, let's get to work.

Mark, the light.

Now hold still till I get the focus.

I'm not moving.

Careful, I'll shoot you on your bad side.

I don't have a bad side.

Come on, let's go.

You're ready Carol.

Whenever you say Jobal.

Now Mark.

Rolling.

That's right honey, that's right.

Move around.

Not too fast.

Now roll over. That's good.

Keep it going, going.

Take off your blouse, slowly.

Now your bra.

It's good.

Lie down on the bed again.

Yeah, that's it sweetheart.

Yeah, yeah, take the skirt off.

Okay, slow.

Slow.

Okay. That's nice Carol, nice.

Rub your thighs, rub.

Go in a little closer Mark.

It's good.

Slowly honey, slowly open your legs.

Yeah, that's good, it's real good.

Hello.

Mark, Mark is that you?

Why didn't you call earlier like you said you would?

I didn't know it was that late.

Honestly Mark,

can't you even keep track of the time?

You know how important it was to mom.

She didn't wanna leave without talking to.

I told you probably got involved in some work.

I told her you probably got involved with some work.

I hate lying to tell her.

You're not having a regular job.

Well anyway, it's done.

Dad wasn't any help at all.

I dunno why none of.

I don't why none of the men in this family

can be counted on.

It isn't that you're both lazy.

I guess it's just you don't care enough.

Anyway, she's scheduled eight o'clock tomorrow morning.

Said it will take about an hour.

It's too late for you to call her now.

Why don't you call her tomorrow?

Why don't you do it tomorrow?

Don't forget about two hour time

and don't forget about the two hour time difference.

And Mark, try and be cheerful when you call.

Can you do that?

She's at St. John.

You can get number from information.

You will call her, won't you?

Yeah, I'll call.

Good.

I won't tell her you're going to in case you forget again.

But it's such a little thing so please remember.

Anyway, this call is costing me money.

I'll talk to you later on in the week.

Dad said to say hello

and please don't forget about tomorrow.

Goodbye Mark.

How's it going?

Okay, take a look.

Hmm.

That's all I got.

That's good.

The girls will be here in about an hour and a half.

Listen, it's gonna be a sadist thing this time,

so try and make it look real, okay?

Don't worry, it'll look real.

Who are the girls?

Well we got Kathy and a new one, name's Michelle.

It's a good looking chick.

Well, I'm going out for a bite to eat, wanna join me?

No, I've got too much work to do here.

By the way, I'd like to borrow that camera,

the one I used the other day.

The Eclair? You gotta be kidding.

That thing's too expensive man.

Look, I just wanna use it for one day.

I'll get it right back to you.

Yeah, that stays in studio.

What's the difference whether I take it out

or I use it here?

Listen man, if you wanna use a camera outside

you rent one, this town full of places

that got plenty of them.

Hey, will you do something about this room?

What do you mean? What's wrong with it?

It's too hot, it's bright and I can't work here.

Man, you've been working for here for months now

and you've been doing just fine.

What do you need a new room for?

Sorry, I asked Jobal.

Well if you change your mind,

I'm gonna be across the street.

Son of a bitch.

Thanks Kathy. That's got it.

Why don't you take a break?

What I need is a cigarette.

Where's Bob?

Jobal's helping him get into his costume.

Did you see what he's gonna be wearing?

Yeah, he's gonna suffocate in that thing.

He'll do anything for money.

Well, won't we all?

Hey, what do you think of the set?

Interesting. What is it?

I don't know...

We're ready whenever you are.

Bob will be down in a few minutes.

We had a little trouble with the hood.

What's with the new chick?

She should be here by now.

Maybe my directions weren't clear enough.

She probably got mugged.

Hi, I'm not late am I?

No, no sweetheart, you're not late.

My car broke down and I had to take a bus.

Kathy, this is Michelle.

Hi.

And this is Mark. He's a cameraman.

Hello.

Hi Mark.

Hey Mark, how do I get a bus out of here?

Where are you going?

West LA.

Come on, I'll take you.

Sure you're going that way?

Why not?

Do you like working for him?

He pays me in cash. He doesn't hassle me.

It's sort of refreshing working for someone

who really enjoys what he does.

I like your car.

Classic, ain't it?

How long have you been doing

these kind of films?

A couple of years now.

But that's the question I'm supposed to ask you.

The answer isn't any fun.

Let's talk about something else.

- What? - I don't know.

You in a hurry to get home?

Not really. Why are we going somewhere?

Bunker Hill.

What's that? A restaurant?

No, you'll see.

It's beautiful.

Not many left now,

they're tearing most of them down.

Why?

To have space to put up new apartment buildings

that will stay empty.

Pretty soon nothing in the city

will be more than 30 years old.

Except some of the people.

They won't be here.

They're all moving out to the desert.

Why?

Because we're buying up all their houses

so we can tear them down

and put empty apartment buildings in their place.

You talk in circles.

Why will the apartments be empty?

Because they're new so they're expensive

and nobody under 30 has that kind of money.

And everybody over 30 is out of town.

Right.

Why can't the people under 30

borrow money from the people over 30?

Because the people over 30

lost money when they sold their houses.

And living in the desert is expensive.

Because there's no water?

Because they wanna live in a desert

with grass, trees and golf courses.

Did you ever hear of a desert with a sprinkler system?

How long have you lived in LA?

A long time, a third of my life maybe.

Why did you come here?

I don't know.

Where were you born?

Indiana.

A small town nobody's ever heard of.

Try me.

Charles City, it's a fascinating place.

How about you?

Nebraska. Is Mark your real name?

- Could be Michael. - Is it?

No.

Thanks for the ride and the detour, it was fun.

Was it really on your way?

Uh uh.

Would you like to come in for some coffee?

Hmm.

The coffee's hot.

Coming.

I couldn't stand wearing that dress anymore.

Cream or sugar?

Just sugar.

Do you like to cook a lot?

Not as much as I used to.

I like cooking but only for someone else.

I don't really care what I eat.

How about you?

Not as long as it's cooked for me.

Preferably by a female and definitely not by my mother.

Picky.

Tooth picky.

Drink your coffee.

Too hot.

You need some cookies.

- Do I have to? - No.

Then I'll eat some cookies.

May I have a cookie?

Please?

I always please.

How I bet you're hard to get along with.

Just when I'm awake, otherwise it's easy.

And you like your work?

Jobal likes his work. I never said I liked mine.

Why don't you do something else?

Can't.

Besides I like film and anything connected with it.

Even nudies?

I won't be doing them for long.

I'm looking around for another job.

I'll find something pretty soon.

Do you like riding?

In what?

On what?

Hello? Oh hi.

No, nothing in particular.

I worked today just about to take Candy out.

How did it go?

When?

Do you want me to meet you at the airport?

Okay, just a sec.

604, I'll check with the airport before I leave.

You know I don't like for you to ask me that.

No, I'm not mad.

I just don't like it when you try to pin me down like that.

No, I'm fine.

Just tired. See you next week.

All right baby. Bye-bye.

Would you like to have dinner together?

I'd like to if you'd like to.

It's nice here, a bit out of the way but it's nice.

Out of the way to what?

Good point.

What is there out there anyway?

The city.

There used to be land.

There still is,

you just have to dig to find it.

I like you here.

Do you have many friends?

Not really.

I know some people, but not many friends.

What about who all this belongs to?

Oh, he's not really a friend.

More?

No, different.

Sometimes I wish he were just a friend.

You can always get out of it, you know?

It's not that easy, I can't make it on my own.

Is he nice to you?

Most of the time, at least I always know what to expect.

And I know what the limits are.

Am I off limits?

I'm not sure.

What's a matter?

I don't know, maybe it's just too quick for me.

Might be a bad move to trade a sure thing for an unknown?

Is that necessary?

Well, it's true, isn't it?

What if it is?

It's none of your business anyway.

I hardly know you.

All right. I'm sorry I even said it.

I certainly don't owe you anything.

Why does it matter anyway?

You're different. And it matters.

If it does, let's take it a bit slower

and see how it goes, okay?

How slow?

Slow enough to see how it's going.

It's getting there.

Getting where?

The Lord shall be

wed to his church.

Blessed are they that are called

unto the marriage supper of the Lord.

It's a great honor to be invited to the wedding.

It's a greater honor to be a part of that wedding,

to be in the bride.

"Well, how do you get to be a member

of the bride of Christ?"

The question is asked.

Well, accept that Christ is your personal savior.

Follow the Lord in scriptural baptism.

When you say put your.. What is scriptural baptism.

Give me some change.

Scriptural baptism ls a baptism that's administered

by a church that has existed from the time that Jesus Christ

was on earth during His personal ministry

down to the present hour.

I say that without reservation,

a church that started in the eighth...

There's only one out of the religious organizations

of the world that belong to the Lord and that...

I've done quite a bit of mountain climbing

with ropes and packs and things.

Got plenty of pictures to prove it.

I have a good background in still photography.

I have been taking pictures ever since I was a kid.

I came out here about 10 years ago to go to college,

got a BA in photography.

I then saw that movies were better than stills,

so I took some graduate courses at USC.

Cinematography, little editing, direction.

Cameras are still the best part of it for me.

I've been freelancing as a cameraman for about four years.

I'm 29 years old, good health.

No wife, no children.

Two crickets. Both named Orson.

Swell, and you're free to go on location?

Yeah I'm free.

Background is good. When can I see some footage?

Brought something with you?

Yeah, I have some reels, but they're in New York.

When are you leaving?

The crew's not going till the end of next week.

I'd have to see some of your work

before I could send you down there.

How soon could you get it here?

So I have to contact the guy who has it.

A pretty easy job, mostly exteriors.

I'm sure you'll be able to do it,

but I gotta be able to see something.

Don't you have a print of anything here in town?

What about this Jobal Pictures?

You've been shooting for them?

Yeah, but they're kind of difficult to get prints from.

What kind of films do they make? I've never heard of them.

It's a small company.

Mostly educational films, pretty dull.

Mr. Gaul, I need your signature.

Ora, get this to the lab will you?

It's a test, I gotta have it back by tomorrow morning.

Thank you.

Sorry, what were...

You wanted to see a couple of reels of film.

How about if I go out and shoot some footage for you?

Uh, I'd rather see something you did for someone else.

It's the only way I can really judge

what kind of work you do.

You can understand my position?

Yeah, I know.

I'll see if I can get that print from New York.

Look, try and get it, but if you can't

let me see something.

It's hard to find people who know what they're doing

and I got a feeling we could work together.

Yeah, well I'll get on it.

Give me a call later when...

Hi, what are you doing here?

I came by to see if you're free.

I thought we'd have lunch.

He's on tour, I'll get my purse.

The service is terrible.

The decor is interesting, besides it's not very crowded.

How did you find this place anyway?

Looking for interesting settings.

Is that what you do with your spare time?

Among other things.

Like what for instance?

Pictures.

I'd like to take some pictures of you.

You already did. Didn't those count?

Something in black and white. I don't like color.

Is that how you see me in black and white?

It's the best way to see everything.

It's not very poetic to be so realistic.

I like soft things with color and texture.

If you do take some, can I have one?

You can I have all of them?

I just want one print.

To replace something I've already got.

Why do you bother to work since that guy supports you?

He doesn't support me. He just helps me out a bit.

It's not like you think.

What do you give him in return?

A little part of myself, but just a small part.

It's a lot.

No, it isn't. I'm not all that great.

How did you get interested in photography?

I don't remember exactly.

I always liked seeing people as they really are.

A camera does that, doesn't hide anything.

Let's you see what's underneath.

Do you have many pictures of yourself?

No.

My mother has a couple of when I was a kid,

but nothing at all recent.

I don't like people to take my picture.

Do you come from a big family?

Three sisters, two parents, two brothers-in-law

and countless nieces and nephews.

What does your father do?

Wholesale produce, but he's semi-retired,

so he spends most of his time watching TV

and avoiding my mother and sister, the unmarried one.

Is that why you came out here?

To get away from them?

They wanted me to go into business like my father.

But on a bigger scale.

It's a shame you didn't have a brother

who was interested in that sort of thing

then he could've done it

and maybe they would've left you alone.

I did have a brother,

but he died when he was a kid.

Do you live alone?

Everybody lives alone.

There used to be a girl, that was a long time ago.

We had a house with a vegetable garden

and a view of the ocean and a cat,

but then the cat died and she left.

She's married now and has a baby

and is a lot happier than when she was with me, probably.

And I live in Los Angeles,

in an ugly apartment surrounded by smog

and I make money by making marginal movies.

But you know what?

I have the feeling that I'm waiting for something.

What about you?

The story is simple.

Born in a little town in a Midwest state

where everybody knows everybody and there's nothing to do.

You spend your time going to movies, watching TV

and dreaming of the city you keep hearing about.

You save some money, just a little,

but it's enough for a chance and you can't let it go.

So you say goodbye to everybody

and it's even sort of sad to leave the little town

so early in the morning,

but the city's fantastic like you knew it would be.

It's big. It's powerful.

It's exciting until you get used to it.

You get a job with the phone company,

but the pay is not much and money starts to be a problem

because the rent is high, food is expensive

and you need a car, so you look for another job.

But you can't find anything you're qualified for

until you see ads for models

telling you about easy work and lots of money.

You go to find out your body's good enough

and they have work for you.

You get a few legitimate jobs.

The pay is good just like they said.

So you drop the phone company, poor phone company.

Then you're asked to be in a porno film.

You say, "No," and they say, "Okay, it's fine,"

but you get less jobs then none at all.

You run out of money.

"It's your fault," they say,

"The girls who do it work all the time."

And the rent is due.

Or they make it easy for you, they even give you a wig

"So that no one will ever recognize you, honey."

First you're alone in front of the camera,

almost like you were before,

but this time you have to caress yourself.

Then a month later you have to do it with another girl.

Then it's with a boy,

and then it's in groups.

And the circle is completed

and you'll never again go back to that little town

of your childhood and you have no friends, no values,

and you're alone with that obscene image of yourself

on the screen until you get lucky

and you happen to meet someone

who cares about you enough to help.

Then, very slowly, you start to like yourself again

and the pain goes away

and you think that someday you may even be able to forget.

Well, good night, it felt really good talking to you.

I like you, Michelle.

Good night, Michelle.

Goodnight Mark.

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

I'm going to the beach.

Where are you going?

- The beach. - Okay.

Get in, I'll take you.

You always go so early in the morning?

I like it when there aren't so many people

and besides the water's colder so it feels better.

Makes my body feel more alive.

It's like all of a sudden I can really feel my skin.

I mean I really know it's there,

doing its thing, being skin.

Do you know what I mean?

If you say so.

No, it's true. I can feel it.

I get all aware of the cells and those things in the blood.

What are they called?

Corpuscles?

Yeah those, I can feel them traveling.

It's like they start out slow, then they start going fast.

It's fantastic.

Do you ever get like that?

I mean everybody feels them sometimes, don't they?

What's your name?

Gretchen.

I didn't used to like it when I was a kid,

wanted to change it to Judy.

But now I like being me name and all.

I mean, sooner or later everybody has to be themself.

That's all we've got, being ourselves.

It's fun now being me, I like myself.

Did you ever go to Mexico?

Yeah, I spent a few months there.

It's nice, isn't it?

How about Europe?

No, not yet, but I Will.

Everybody should go to Europe at least once.

I'm gonna go someday, but I'm still young.

I've got time, and anyway, I don't have the bread.

Did anybody ever tell you you talk too much?

Yeah, my brother,

but I explained to him that I didn't really,

after a while he agreed with me.

I like my brother.

Well, we're here. We're at the beach.

Looks that way, doesn't it?

I wonder who he was.

Who? Who was?

The man who left all the garbage.

I figure he was about 45 and drinks a lot of beer.

You're crazy. Did your brother ever tell you that?

He wouldn't dare. I'd beat him up.

- How old is he? - Who?

Your brother.

I don't have a brother.

Did you ever wanna be an architecture?

A What?

An architecture.

You know a guy who builds buildings?

No, but I used to want to be a sculpture.

Hey, did I tell you

I used to have a mynah bird?

No.

He was invisible.

Invisible. What did you feed him?

Invisible baloney.

But then he died. He was sick for a long time first.

I guess it's just as well.

The food was getting expensive.

Yeah, the price of invisible baloney

has really gone high.

Oh, I never got him high.

It's not good for a bird. Damages their brains.

You like sailing?

Yeah, but I don't know how.

I do.

Let's go.

How much for one of those boats over there?

That'll be $5 an hour with $10 deposit.

That's cash in the banks.

What do you think?

Whatever.

Okay.

I guess that's what I like about you.

What?

You remind me of my brother?

I really do have one you know.

You're all so serious.

It's like you're responsible for your own life.

Don't say that.

Oh, but it's nice, I mean it's all grown up.

Remember how it used to be when you were a kid?

Remember how it used to be when you were a kid?

Remember how it used to be?

My mother used to get so mad at me.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Remember how it used to be?

It's not my fault.

I'm not responsible.

No.

Where the hell were you?

I was just about to call the police.

You said you don't...

Ah, I wasn't gone that far.

You were at almost seven.

How much?

$35 owe me another 15.

I could buy it for that.

Well, I don't sell 'em, I just rent them.

Where's your girlfriend?

We had a fight.

She wanted to be let off up the coast, so I dropped her off.

That's why I was gone so long.

She said she liked sailing,

but I guess she was bored to death by it.

Yeah, they're all like that.

A bit different if it was a yacht.

I suppose.

Hello, Mark. This is Michelle.

You may feel strange hearing my voice like this.

I know I feel funny recording it,

but somehow I thought it would be better this way.

It's more personal than in a letter.

I have to tell you something.

I have some things to explain.

I've decided not to see you anymore.

It's not that I don't want to,

but that I don't think it would be good for me

living with Paul, that's his name by the way.

I don't think I ever told you.

Anyway he seems to be what I need right now.

He's sensitive in his own way and he loves me,

or at least he thinks he does.

The music at the end of this tape was something he wrote

and it may help you to see

why I've decided to stay with him.

Our life together is quiet and peaceful.

I always know what to expect from him.

It's not that it's so predictable,

but that he doesn't ever throw me off balance like you do,

like you seem to try to do.

I don't think you and I could ever be happy together.

It wouldn't be because of me.

I know that because that's all I want out of life,

happiness.

It's so simple, really.

But you have to try to get it

and I just don't think you want it for yourself.

It's as if you're punishing yourself for something.

I don't know, it's hard to explain this feeling I have,

but it's what I sense from knowing you.

I really care about what happens to you.

I hope you start reaching for what is rightfully yours.

You deserve to have a good life full of fun

and challenge and peace.

I love you a little as I know you

and if things have been different when we met,

we maybe could have fallen in love, but for now,

listen to his music and know

that I care about you very much.

Michelle, it's me.

It's Mark. Michelle.

Michelle.

Who is it?

It's me. It's Mark Michelle.

What do you want?

Good night, Michelle.

Everything will be fine. You'll see.

Goodnight Michelle.

Everything will be fine now, you'll see.

Get a house together.

Can't be too far from the city because I'll have to work.

Work for me is where the people are.

I'll take pictures of them.

For you, I'll take pictures of you, me and we'll be happy.

We'll surround ourselves with good things,

simple things that we can share.

Talk of art and life, things that matter or don't matter.

Walk in the sun and the rain.

And we'll laugh when it's a time to be serious.

We'll cry only when we're happy.

Be together.

You see it isn't too late for me.

Not as long as you are there.

I'll work so hard for you.

I'll be what you want.

I need you, Michelle.

With you I can leave the life that I've lived.

With you.

I can be with you.

Michelle.

Michelle, Michelle.

Wake up, Michelle.