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1
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:04,526
[FUNK BEAT PLAYING]
2
00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:08,269
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]
3
00:00:08,443 --> 00:00:09,705
Chris,
look at your sister.
4
00:00:09,879 --> 00:00:10,793
What happened to her?
5
00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:12,055
You weren't watching her,
6
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,491
that's what happened to her.
7
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,624
I told you I wanted a cookie.
8
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:17,495
Mom, I just sat down
for a minute.
9
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,497
Do you know
what can happen in a minute?
10
00:00:22,805 --> 00:00:25,329
Now, go get your sister
washed up now.
11
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,288
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY]
12
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:28,811
Come on, Tonya.
13
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:30,421
NARRATOR:
Thanks to Drew and Tonya,
14
00:00:30,595 --> 00:00:31,944
I was taking care of kids
15
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,772
until I was taking care
of my own kids.
16
00:00:33,946 --> 00:00:35,339
Chris, get me
some potato chips.
17
00:00:35,513 --> 00:00:36,906
Chris, help me
with my homework.
18
00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:38,342
Chris, find
my doll.
19
00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,083
Make me a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
20
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:41,780
Make me Kool-Aid.Strap up my shoe.
21
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:43,434
Chris, I'm going
to take a shower.
22
00:00:43,608 --> 00:00:44,435
Watch the kids.
23
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,394
Chris, tie my shoe!
24
00:00:46,568 --> 00:00:48,309
Chris, I'm going
to pick up my Porgy's.
25
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:49,614
Watch the kids!
26
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,964
Chris, help!
My head is stuck!
27
00:00:52,139 --> 00:00:53,749
Chris, I'm going to eat
some peanuts.
28
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,185
Watch the kids.
29
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:57,318
I'm going to get
my mustache waxed.
30
00:00:57,492 --> 00:00:58,841
Watch the kids.
31
00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:01,844
Chris!Chris!
32
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:03,019
Chris!
Chris!
33
00:01:03,193 --> 00:01:05,065
[♪♪♪]
34
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,160
♪ Aww, make it funky now ♪
35
00:01:34,746 --> 00:01:37,184
[SPORTS ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY OVER TV]
36
00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:39,229
Whoa!Whoa!
37
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:41,753
NARRATOR:
The one thing that
Drew and I did together
38
00:01:41,927 --> 00:01:43,929
was watch basketball games
andRocky movies.
39
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,106
Tonight was basketball.
40
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,543
Whoa! See that shot?Whoa!
41
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:51,850
NARRATOR:
But since we only had one TV,
we had to share with Tonya,
42
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,896
and Tonya always got her way.
43
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,507
Mama said I can watch
Three's Company.
44
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,422
We're watching the game.I don't care.
45
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,034
[REMOTE CONTROL CLICKS] [♪♪♪]
46
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,123
Move.
47
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:08,693
♪ Ooh, so you say ♪
48
00:02:08,867 --> 00:02:10,217
Mm.
49
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,349
Oh, hey, baby.
50
00:02:12,523 --> 00:02:13,437
How was work?
51
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:14,482
Hard.
52
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,441
You know,
I was thinking
53
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,575
that maybe we should go out,
you know?
54
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,533
Have dinner...
55
00:02:22,707 --> 00:02:24,448
relax a little.
56
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:26,015
Why would I go out to relax,
57
00:02:26,189 --> 00:02:28,191
when I can relax at home
for free?
58
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,976
NARRATOR:
That was my father's
rationale for everything.
59
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:33,153
Twenty dollars
to get in the club?
60
00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,677
We can dance at home
for free.
61
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,679
I just wanted to
do something nice.
62
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,115
That's all.
63
00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,856
I think staying home
is nice.
64
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,379
Well, you're not here
all day.
65
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:43,815
Well, why don't I
stay home,
66
00:02:43,989 --> 00:02:45,643
and you can go out
and work two jobs?
67
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:48,255
[SPEAKING IN MUFFLED
SLOW-MOTION]
I'm sorry.
68
00:02:48,429 --> 00:02:51,301
NARRATOR:
Where's a time machine
where you could just go back
69
00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,911
and shut up?
70
00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,913
I did not mean-- I'm not
trying to take anything away
71
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,611
from what you do here.That's okay.
72
00:02:56,785 --> 00:02:58,482
If you don't want to go out,
you don't have to.
73
00:02:58,656 --> 00:02:59,701
No, look--It's okay, no.
74
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:00,963
Enough said.
75
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:04,184
It's over. Over.
76
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:07,187
NARRATOR:
There are two things
my father knew for sure:
77
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:08,971
He knew he knew nothing
for sure,
78
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:10,755
and he knew
this wasn't over.
79
00:03:10,929 --> 00:03:12,801
[♪♪♪]
80
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:17,240
KIDS:
Hey, Dad.
81
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:18,937
Hey, guys.
82
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:20,548
Y'all eating already?
83
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,679
KIDS:
Mm-hmm.
84
00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:23,986
Where's your mother?
85
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,248
KIDS:
In the kitchen.
86
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:30,340
Hey, babe.
87
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:32,777
What's for dinner?
88
00:03:32,951 --> 00:03:34,649
Well, the kids
are having chicken.
89
00:03:34,823 --> 00:03:36,520
What about me?
90
00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:37,869
Well, you got two jobs.
91
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,393
You could take
your two-job money
92
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:40,959
and go buy you
a two-job meal.
93
00:03:44,746 --> 00:03:46,138
I'm sorry, baby.
94
00:03:47,618 --> 00:03:50,273
If you want to go out,
we can go out.
95
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:56,323
Thank you, baby, oh!
96
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,802
I'll call
Sheila's babysitter
97
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,500
and tell her
she can come tomorrow.
98
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,153
Why do we got to
pay a babysitter
99
00:04:01,328 --> 00:04:02,807
when Chris'll do it for free?
100
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,983
No, he does it during
the day, not at night.
101
00:04:05,157 --> 00:04:06,637
Rochelle, we don't
really need...
102
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,900
Do you want me
to make you some chicken?
103
00:04:11,033 --> 00:04:13,731
Okay, well, I'm gonna
call Sheila's babysitter.
104
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,691
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
105
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,214
Hi, I'm Yvette.
106
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:19,781
Oh, okay,
come on in.
107
00:04:22,044 --> 00:04:23,828
Okay, so I have
some chicken
108
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,743
baking in the oven.
Just take it out
109
00:04:25,917 --> 00:04:27,179
in about
20 minutes.
110
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,051
Chris and Drew
are gonna watch the game.
111
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,922
What am I gonna do
while Chris and Drew
112
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:32,315
are watching the game?
113
00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:33,838
Well,
you can hang with me.
114
00:04:34,012 --> 00:04:35,710
I'll show you
how to do French braids.
115
00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:37,146
Okay.[CHUCKLES]
116
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,148
Yvette, I left the number
to the restaurant
117
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,628
by the phone.
118
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:43,065
Now, call me if anything
goes wrong, okay?
119
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,632
Everything's
gonna be fine.
120
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:47,243
Chris, I don't want
that girl calling us.
121
00:04:47,417 --> 00:04:48,810
So if there's
a problem...
122
00:04:48,984 --> 00:04:50,246
handle it.
123
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:52,030
Me and your mother
don't go out often,
124
00:04:52,204 --> 00:04:54,119
so I don't want
nothing to spoil it.
125
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:55,599
Here.
126
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:58,733
Whoa, what's this?That's emergency money.
127
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,823
NARRATOR:
My father believed there's
nothing $10 couldn't fix.
128
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:03,259
What if something
costs $11?
129
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,521
Talk them down to 10.
130
00:05:04,695 --> 00:05:06,393
Got it.
131
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,960
Okay, you guys be good.All right, Chris.
132
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,745
Call me if you need
anything, okay?
133
00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,355
YVETTE: Okay.Okay, bye, y'all.
134
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,009
Bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye, Dad.
135
00:05:14,183 --> 00:05:16,490
JULIUS: Bye, sweetie.Take your time and have fun.
136
00:05:23,148 --> 00:05:24,715
Welcome to Pastures
and Shores.
137
00:05:24,889 --> 00:05:25,890
May I take your order?
138
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:29,459
Okay, I'll have
the all-you-can-eat
139
00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:31,722
shrimp and sirloin combo,
well done,
140
00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,681
order of coleslaw
and a Coke.
141
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,378
And you, sir?JULIUS: I'll have
142
00:05:35,552 --> 00:05:38,338
the ultimate surf and turf
and a large Coke.
143
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:41,384
[CASHIER TYPING]
144
00:05:41,558 --> 00:05:43,343
[REGISTER DINGS]That'll be 17.99.
145
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,997
Ooh. Wait, baby.
146
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:47,651
Are you sure
we can afford this?
147
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:50,698
It's okay.
I have coupons.
148
00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,875
NARRATOR:
If there was a coupon for
something, my father had it.
149
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,877
Whoa, whoa,
whoa!
150
00:05:56,051 --> 00:05:57,444
What's this?
151
00:05:57,618 --> 00:06:00,098
A coupon--
No tickets on Tuesday.
152
00:06:01,578 --> 00:06:03,841
This doesn't include
the all-you-can-eat
153
00:06:04,015 --> 00:06:05,103
shrimp and sirloin combo.
154
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,757
Oh, you know what?
155
00:06:06,931 --> 00:06:08,280
I'll just order
something else.
156
00:06:08,455 --> 00:06:09,717
I'll take the--No, it's okay.
157
00:06:09,891 --> 00:06:11,283
I want everything
to be perfect.
158
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,981
Get what you want.
159
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:14,678
I'll pay for it.
160
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:23,731
Is there a problem?
161
00:06:23,905 --> 00:06:26,168
Can I have my coupon?
162
00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:29,301
ANNOUNCER [ON TV]:
...to Irving inside,
and Irving gets the basket.
163
00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:32,043
NARRATOR:
Having a babysitter
in the house was great,
164
00:06:32,217 --> 00:06:34,742
because the only kid
I had to worry about was me.
165
00:06:34,916 --> 00:06:36,787
[PHONE RINGS]
166
00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,009
I'll be right back.
167
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:42,489
ANNOUNCER:
Sixers beat the Knicks
five out of six.
168
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,447
No, I can't talk right now.
169
00:06:44,621 --> 00:06:46,406
NARRATOR:
My mother would never hire
someone
170
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:47,929
she thought was irresponsible.
171
00:06:48,103 --> 00:06:49,931
But irresponsible people
never tell you
172
00:06:50,105 --> 00:06:52,847
that they're irresponsible-- because they're irresponsible!
173
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,460
Chris, I gotta go.
174
00:06:57,634 --> 00:06:59,680
What do you mean, you gotta go?I got something
175
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:01,464
I gotta do.You are doing something!
176
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:04,119
You stayed with your brother
and sister before, right?
177
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,034
Yeah, but that's only
during the day.
178
00:07:06,208 --> 00:07:09,080
You'll be fine.
I'll be right back.
179
00:07:09,254 --> 00:07:12,954
NARRATOR:
At that moment, I wanted to bust her right upside the head.
180
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,477
I'm hungry.
181
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:18,525
ROCHELLE:
Oh, our food, yeah.
182
00:07:18,699 --> 00:07:19,700
Oh.
183
00:07:19,874 --> 00:07:21,049
Thank you.
184
00:07:21,223 --> 00:07:22,398
JULIUS:
I am hungry.
185
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,747
Thank you.
186
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:25,967
Oh, wait, wait.
Uh, excuse me.
187
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:28,186
I ordered coleslaw,
but this is potato salad.
188
00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:29,405
I'll get the manager.
189
00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:30,972
We don't want
the manager.
190
00:07:31,146 --> 00:07:32,190
We want coleslaw.
191
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,410
I'll get the manager.
192
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,503
Is there a problem?
193
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,941
Uh, my wife ordered coleslaw
and got potato salad.
194
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:45,682
I'm sorry
for the misunderstanding,
195
00:07:45,856 --> 00:07:47,510
but that meal comes with
potato salad.
196
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,338
But I ordered coleslaw.
197
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,818
But it comes with
potato salad.
198
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,167
We'd be happy
to sell you
199
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,647
a side of coleslaw
for 79 cents,
200
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:55,953
you just have
to get back in line.
201
00:07:56,127 --> 00:07:58,956
NARRATOR:
Never go out on the day
they give out welfare checks.
202
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,568
You got a thousand paper cups
of coleslaw back there.
203
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:03,700
You can't take this back
and bring her one?
204
00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,876
Know what? Never mind.
Just bring me a bowl--
205
00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,139
I'll have some of his
coleslaw. Not a problem.
206
00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,532
No, no,
can't do that, ma'am.
207
00:08:09,706 --> 00:08:11,012
We have a no-sharing policy.
208
00:08:12,927 --> 00:08:14,102
So what
you're telling me
209
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:15,320
is that I can't have
210
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,670
some of my husband's
coleslaw?
211
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:18,585
That's what you're
saying to me?
212
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,501
[LAUGHS]
You could, but we would
have to ask you to leave.
213
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,938
Heh. You know...You know what?
214
00:08:24,112 --> 00:08:25,374
You know what?I eat at home.
215
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:26,854
That's why I cook
my own meals.
216
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:27,942
I'll get you
coleslaw.
217
00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,378
Is there anything else?
218
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:30,858
Enjoy your meal.
219
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,816
What the hell--
Does he think he's Mr. T?
220
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,688
Why is he acting like that?It's okay.
221
00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:36,428
This is our night,
it's our night.
222
00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:37,952
You're right.
223
00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:39,083
Oh, man.
224
00:08:40,694 --> 00:08:41,521
What's that?
225
00:08:41,695 --> 00:08:42,739
It's my baby.
226
00:08:42,913 --> 00:08:44,654
You can't bring
that baby here.
227
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:46,961
Would you be quiet,
and let me handle this?
228
00:08:47,135 --> 00:08:48,571
You can't bring
that baby here.
229
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,181
It'll just be
for a little while.
230
00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,749
Did you bring something back
to eat? I'm hungry.
231
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:56,536
I forgot your mother put some
chicken in the oven for you.
232
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:03,020
I'm gonna run and get you guys
something to eat.
233
00:09:03,194 --> 00:09:04,282
Watch the baby, okay?
234
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,849
You can't leave
your baby here.
235
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,721
Why not?
Because you're
babysitting.
236
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:09,897
I'm just going down
to Lincoln Fried Chicken.
237
00:09:10,071 --> 00:09:11,725
What if he gets hungry?
Or throws up?
238
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:12,987
He won't-- It'll be fine.
239
00:09:13,161 --> 00:09:14,510
I'll be right back.
240
00:09:14,684 --> 00:09:16,164
NARRATOR:
At that moment, I was sure
241
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,166
of two things:
I wasn't gonna be fine,
242
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,255
and she wasn't gonna be
right back.
243
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:23,606
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
244
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:25,608
[BABY GURGLING]
245
00:09:29,264 --> 00:09:31,135
[♪♪♪]
246
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:33,877
What's this?
247
00:09:34,051 --> 00:09:36,184
Why didn't they just
give you a cup of coleslaw?
248
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,577
It's this big.
249
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:39,187
It'll be here
in a few minutes.
250
00:09:39,361 --> 00:09:40,667
[SIGHS]
251
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:42,407
Where you going?I'm going to check
252
00:09:42,582 --> 00:09:44,671
on the kids.The kids are fine...
253
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,237
I'm just going to check, okay?
254
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:59,555
DREW:
Whoa-- A behind the back,
off the backboard dunk!
255
00:09:59,729 --> 00:10:00,991
Chris, man,
you're missing it!
256
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,079
Come on!
257
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:03,646
Shh, would you be quiet?
258
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:05,735
Stop yelling
and turn the TV down.
259
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,781
You think she's coming back?She better.
260
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,826
[PHONE RINGING]
261
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,228
Hello.
262
00:10:20,402 --> 00:10:22,317
Hey, baby, how's it going?
263
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,274
CHRIS:
Good.
264
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:24,754
[BABY COOING]
265
00:10:24,928 --> 00:10:26,060
Is that a baby?
266
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:28,192
No, it's the TV.[CONTINUES COOING]
267
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:29,585
Oh. Well, where's Yvette?
268
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,456
She's in the bathroom.
269
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,850
Okay. We'll be home
in a little while, all right?
270
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:35,199
Okay.
271
00:10:35,373 --> 00:10:36,723
Okay, love you.All right, bye.
272
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,594
NARRATOR:
I know you're thinking:
273
00:10:38,768 --> 00:10:41,162
"Why didn't I just tell
my mother what was going on?"
274
00:10:41,336 --> 00:10:44,034
Well, I figured
it couldn't get any worse.
275
00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,645
Hi, um, is Yvette here?
276
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,473
She just left.
And who are you?
277
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,041
I'm Mario.
Is that my baby?
278
00:10:52,782 --> 00:10:54,305
I don't know, is it?
279
00:10:54,479 --> 00:10:56,830
I know.
He takes after his mom.
280
00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,441
NARRATOR:
We didn't know
if it was his baby, either.
281
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:02,183
But trust me, there ain't no black man picking up a baby
282
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:04,794
that ain't his.
283
00:11:04,968 --> 00:11:06,927
What's he doing here?
Where did she go?
284
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:08,711
She went to get us
something to eat.
285
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:11,192
She's babysitting us.My boy...
286
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:12,933
TONYA:
Where you think
you're going?
287
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,978
You can't just leave
with somebody's baby.
288
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,501
Look,
when she comes back,
289
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:18,373
tell her I'll be over
my mother's house.
290
00:11:18,547 --> 00:11:20,331
DREW:
Whoa! Chris,
you should've seen it!
291
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,725
Bernard King hit a shot
from the top of the key,
292
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,162
stole it and hit another one
right before the half!
293
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,816
I'm hungry.
294
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,954
NARRATOR:
Sometimes my father
would be so focused
295
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:35,564
on everything going right,
296
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,218
he didn't realize
he was the reason
297
00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:38,523
it was going wrong.
298
00:11:39,263 --> 00:11:40,743
It's okay.
299
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:43,615
Your coleslaw will be here
any minute.
300
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,966
Why do you make
such a big deal out of nothing?
301
00:11:46,140 --> 00:11:47,881
Because I spent good money
on this.
302
00:11:48,055 --> 00:11:49,534
I expect it to be good.
303
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,885
Well, is it about the money
or is it about me?
304
00:11:52,059 --> 00:11:53,451
Why would you
even ask me that?
305
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,149
We have been waiting
30 minutes
306
00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:57,151
for a Dixie Cup
full of coleslaw.
307
00:11:57,325 --> 00:11:58,369
Think about it.
308
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,502
Never mind.
309
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,373
Oh, finally!
310
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:10,555
Enjoy your coleslaw.
311
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,822
I'm sorry.
312
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:18,128
I don't get to take you out
as much as I'd like.
313
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,434
It's okay, baby.
314
00:12:19,608 --> 00:12:21,653
I just want everything
to be right.
315
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:24,918
But as long as I'm with you,
everything's perfect.
316
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:26,484
I love you--[DOORS SWING OPEN]
317
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:27,485
MAN:
Everybody down!
318
00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:28,748
Get down!Now!
319
00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:30,532
Damn it!
320
00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,362
Hey.Hey.
321
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,930
NARRATOR:
Isn't it funny how
irresponsible people think
322
00:12:37,104 --> 00:12:38,975
they can change the world
with chicken?
323
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,195
Chris, man, this is the
best game I ever seen.
324
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:42,326
You gotta come watch.
325
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,588
Chris,
where's the baby?
326
00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,590
His father took him.
327
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,114
You gave my baby
to a stranger?
328
00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,637
No, to his father.
329
00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,943
That could be anybody.
330
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,510
He asked for you
at the door.
331
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:53,990
And the baby said
"Da-Da."
332
00:12:54,164 --> 00:12:55,078
Who else could it be?
333
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:56,079
I don't know!
334
00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:57,080
Where'd they go?
335
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,473
To his mother's house.
336
00:13:00,257 --> 00:13:02,390
I know--
You'll be right back.
337
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,392
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
338
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,698
Whoo! Yeah!
339
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,744
NARRATOR:
As bad as things were going,
340
00:13:08,918 --> 00:13:11,312
I could always count on
one person to make things go
341
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,053
from bad to worse.
342
00:13:13,227 --> 00:13:15,098
[PHONE RINGING]
343
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:17,666
Hello?
344
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,233
Hello? I'm looking
for my parents.
345
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,974
They're having dinner
there tonight.
346
00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:22,627
I think you got
the wrong number.
347
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,890
This ain't no restaurant.
348
00:13:24,064 --> 00:13:25,195
Tonya,
what are you doing?
349
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:26,631
Hey! What are you doing?
350
00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,764
I'm calling Mom.I'm answering the phone!
351
00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,592
Are you trying
to mess everything up?
352
00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:33,029
You gonna mess everything up.
Just put the money in there!
353
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:34,901
Mom said call
if anything went wrong.
354
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,251
Something went wrong,
so I'm calling.
355
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,514
Tonya, no.
They're on a date.
356
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,733
If you call, you're
gonna mess everything up.
357
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:44,432
Then Mama will be mad at Dad,
Dad will be mad at me.
358
00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:46,260
Just let me
handle this, okay?
359
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:47,739
All I know is
360
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,959
somebody better
French braid my hair.
361
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,920
Give me the money,
big man!
362
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:55,747
Just watch where
you point that thing.
363
00:13:55,922 --> 00:13:57,619
ROBBER 1:
Don't tell me
where to watch.
364
00:13:57,793 --> 00:13:59,577
I'll point this
wherever I want.
365
00:13:59,751 --> 00:14:01,536
Julius,
just be quiet.
366
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,146
You better listen
to your girl.
367
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,105
Hey, that's not my girl,
that's my wife.
368
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,497
ROBBER 2:
Hey, man, come on,
369
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,064
just get the money
and let's go.
370
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:09,979
No, man over here
trying to be a hero.
371
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,241
ROBBER 2:
Hey, come on,
372
00:14:11,415 --> 00:14:12,373
I got this.
373
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,115
Chelle?
374
00:14:15,289 --> 00:14:16,290
Huh?
375
00:14:16,464 --> 00:14:17,421
Is that you?
376
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,120
It's me, Ricky!
377
00:14:20,294 --> 00:14:21,948
Remember? From Flatbush!
378
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:25,429
I'm sorry, I-I don't believe
I know who you are.
379
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,778
I used to be at the club
380
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,389
with Shine and them,
remember?
381
00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,825
We used to pop lock.
382
00:14:31,696 --> 00:14:33,133
[GRUNTS]
383
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,396
Remember?
384
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,224
[GASPS]
Ricky Edwards?
385
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:38,573
Donna's brother!
386
00:14:38,747 --> 00:14:40,531
Yeah! Yeah!
How you been?
387
00:14:40,705 --> 00:14:43,621
Oh, good till now.
How you been?
388
00:14:43,795 --> 00:14:44,927
Oh, I'm hanging in there.
389
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,189
All right.
390
00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:48,061
Hey, since you all
so tight,
391
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,671
why don't you
just let us slide?
392
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,674
Hey, man, if it was up to me,
I would.
393
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,372
But my partner...crazy.
394
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,984
So you all going to have
to put something in the bag.
395
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:00,377
Why don't we pretend
we put something in the bag?
396
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:01,639
Because this ain't
no pretend robbery!
397
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,251
Julius, just give him
the money.
398
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,993
Um, can you just leave us
a little for the babysitter?
399
00:15:07,167 --> 00:15:08,037
You know how it is.
400
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:09,647
You got kids?
401
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,040
Boy, I got three!
402
00:15:12,172 --> 00:15:14,739
Two boys
and a girl!
403
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,306
Kids, they a blessing.
404
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:17,525
Yeah,
love of my life.
405
00:15:17,699 --> 00:15:18,830
Dig. Look,
just give me 20.
406
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:20,441
Hurry up
before my man see you.
407
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,922
Give him, give him!Hurry, before my partner sees.
408
00:15:25,489 --> 00:15:27,230
Chelle...
It was good seeing you, girl.
409
00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:28,623
Aw, you too, man.
410
00:15:28,797 --> 00:15:31,104
Hey!
Don't tell nobody I did this.
411
00:15:31,278 --> 00:15:33,149
[♪♪♪]
412
00:15:35,804 --> 00:15:36,805
Hello.TONYA: Hi.
413
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:37,806
Is Yvette here?
414
00:15:37,980 --> 00:15:38,850
Who are you?
415
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,287
I'm her mother.
416
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,766
I came to pick up
the baby.
417
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,986
His father took him.Where's Yvette?
418
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,553
She said
she'll be right back.
419
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:48,295
Then again, she said that
30 minutes ago.
420
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:50,688
You mind if I come in
and wait for her?
421
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,734
Come in.
422
00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,915
Is everybody okay?
423
00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,961
No, we're not okay, man,
424
00:16:02,135 --> 00:16:03,919
we just got robbed.Julius...
425
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:05,921
NARRATOR: After everything that happened,
426
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:07,967
you would expect
my mother's reaction
427
00:16:08,141 --> 00:16:09,707
to be a little like this...
428
00:16:09,881 --> 00:16:12,362
You are such a brave man.
429
00:16:12,536 --> 00:16:15,148
Oh, baby, thank you
for taking me to dinner
430
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,367
and standing up
to those robbers.
431
00:16:17,541 --> 00:16:19,587
Oh, baby,
I love you so much.
432
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,198
NARRATOR:
Instead, it went
a little something like this.
433
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,679
Are you crazy?
434
00:16:24,853 --> 00:16:27,247
What was you thinking, arguing
with a masked gunman?
435
00:16:27,421 --> 00:16:28,988
You could have
been killed!
436
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,293
Do you think
I got married
437
00:16:30,467 --> 00:16:32,078
to raise three kids
by myself?
438
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:34,689
The next time somebody
tries to rob us...
439
00:16:34,863 --> 00:16:36,952
get robbed!
440
00:16:37,126 --> 00:16:38,562
Let's go!
441
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,524
Here's a coupon for
a free meal
442
00:16:43,698 --> 00:16:45,352
if you decide
to come back again.
443
00:16:45,526 --> 00:16:47,615
Thanks, man.Julius!
444
00:16:47,789 --> 00:16:49,704
Take two.Good luck.
445
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:56,015
[BASKETBALL GAME PLAYING
INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
446
00:16:58,713 --> 00:16:59,975
What happened to
your hair?
447
00:17:00,149 --> 00:17:01,629
Yvette said she was
gonna teach me
448
00:17:01,803 --> 00:17:03,022
how to French braid.
449
00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:04,588
Does Yvette live with you?
450
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:05,807
Yes. Why?
451
00:17:05,981 --> 00:17:07,548
My mama said
if I have a baby
452
00:17:07,722 --> 00:17:09,028
before I get married,
453
00:17:09,202 --> 00:17:10,464
she says
she's putting me out
454
00:17:10,638 --> 00:17:12,248
because she ain't raising
no babies.
455
00:17:12,422 --> 00:17:14,642
You like raising babies?No.
456
00:17:14,816 --> 00:17:16,383
How come you
didn't put her out?
457
00:17:16,557 --> 00:17:18,037
How old are you?
458
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,690
Nine.
459
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:21,431
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
460
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,085
I'll get it!
461
00:17:24,739 --> 00:17:25,957
You mother's here.
462
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:31,789
Chris, this is the best game
I ever seen!
463
00:17:31,963 --> 00:17:33,008
You gotta come watch!
464
00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:38,057
How come you didn't tell me
you were babysitting?
465
00:17:38,231 --> 00:17:39,710
Why are you in my business?
466
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:42,061
You live in my house,
you don't have any business.
467
00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,801
I don't have
to live at your house.
468
00:17:43,975 --> 00:17:44,933
I'll move in
with Mario.
469
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,456
You think
Mario's mother
470
00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,284
wants to deal with you?
You need a job.
471
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:49,894
Why do you think
I'm babysitting?
472
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,026
You weren't even here.
473
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,375
I was coming right back.
474
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:54,116
Hey, hey!
That's enough.
475
00:17:54,290 --> 00:17:56,118
Excuse me?CHRIS: You gotta leave,
476
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,902
and take that baby with you.Fine!
477
00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,426
Not you, her.
478
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:01,341
I don't know if that's
such a good idea.
479
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,907
CHRIS:
If my mom comes home
480
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,300
and finds out
what happened,
481
00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,259
she's gonna ask me
why I didn't tell her.
482
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,477
And I'm gonna say
483
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:09,131
because my dad
told me not to.
484
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,351
And then she's gonna
curse him out and kill me.
485
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,700
[SIGHS]
486
00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:14,136
When are you
coming home?
487
00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:16,834
As soon as his
mom and dad come back.
488
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:18,923
[BABY COOING]
489
00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:23,972
Are you still
gonna teach me
490
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:25,321
how to French braid
my hair?
491
00:18:25,495 --> 00:18:26,844
Yeah. Heh.
492
00:18:27,018 --> 00:18:28,890
Oh, Chris, why don't you
go watch your game?
493
00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:31,632
Three, two, one!
494
00:18:31,806 --> 00:18:33,112
Oh, man!
495
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:36,680
That was a good game!
Heh, heh.
496
00:18:36,854 --> 00:18:38,029
[CHANGES CHANNEL]
497
00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,335
WOMAN 1 [ON TV]: What are you doing here?
498
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:40,989
WOMAN 2 [ON TV]: I came for the makeover!
499
00:18:41,163 --> 00:18:42,817
Everything went okay?Everything went so good.
500
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,166
We had so much fun.
501
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:45,602
ROCHELLE: Good!YVETTE: They were good.
502
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:46,690
We should do it
again.
503
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:48,039
ROCHELLE:
For sure!
504
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,259
Maybe we could go
to a movie next time.
505
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:53,088
NARRATOR:
I wanted this to be
a good night for my parents.
506
00:18:53,262 --> 00:18:56,483
and I didn't want my father to think I couldn't handle things.
507
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:59,225
So I decided to keep
everything that happened...
508
00:18:59,399 --> 00:19:00,835
to myself.
509
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:02,924
JULIUS:
Yvette,
are you free next Friday?
510
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,273
No, no, no, no, no!
511
00:19:04,447 --> 00:19:05,796
She left us to go get a baby.
512
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,885
When she came back,
she burnt your chicken.
513
00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:09,931
Then, this guy came
to the door asking for the baby.
514
00:19:10,105 --> 00:19:12,151
His name was Mario
and was the baby's father.
515
00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,674
When he left,
she came back,
516
00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:14,979
and the baby wasn't here.
517
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,851
She went
to get the baby back,
518
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:18,679
her mother came to the door
looking for her and the baby.
519
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,550
They had a fight
about where to live.
520
00:19:20,724 --> 00:19:23,162
She said she'd live at Mario's
house. Who is Mario?
521
00:19:23,336 --> 00:19:24,859
When she came back,
she braided Tonya's hair.
522
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,600
Drew got to watch the game,
you guys came back.
523
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:28,776
She's trying to make it look
like everything
524
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,734
was all peachy and fine.
It's not!
525
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:33,389
[♪♪♪]
526
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:36,871
I told you we should have
let Chris babysit.
527
00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,568
Girl, give me
my money back.
528
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,614
I'mma kick her ass.
529
00:19:40,788 --> 00:19:42,311
Hold my wig.[BELL RINGS]
530
00:19:42,485 --> 00:19:47,969
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
531
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:51,015
NARRATOR:
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
532
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,368
[♪♪♪]
533
00:19:57,108 --> 00:19:59,241
♪ Aww, make it funky now ♪
35228
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