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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:27,180 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,998 You want to order? 3 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,000 Er, no, not yet. Sorry. I'm waiting for... 4 00:01:04,960 --> 00:01:08,960 Screw this. 5 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,838 You leaving? 6 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:19,840 Er, yeah, I'm... 7 00:01:21,960 --> 00:01:23,278 Excuse me. 8 00:01:23,280 --> 00:01:26,078 Excuse you, love. 9 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:27,478 Excuse me? 10 00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:28,638 Excuse me? 11 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,918 Excuse me? Excuse me? 12 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:33,718 Look, I'm sorry, OK? I didn't mean to push you. 13 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:36,318 No, no, it's not that. Are you Erica? 14 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,678 Yeah? 15 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:40,238 I'm your date. 16 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,678 Oh. 17 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,078 Oh! OK. 18 00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,678 Do you not recognise me from the photo? You did pick me. 19 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,238 Actually, my brother did. 20 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,678 Well, your brother's got great taste. I'm Callum. 21 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,918 Nice to meet you. 22 00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:55,998 You're half an hour late, Callum. 23 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,318 No, I'm not. We said eight. 24 00:01:57,320 --> 00:01:58,198 We said half seven. 25 00:01:58,200 --> 00:02:01,318 No, love, trust me, we said eight. I'm incredibly punctual. 26 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:05,320 Well, I can um... I can look right now. 27 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,640 Go ahead. 28 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,558 Right. 29 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,038 Smartphones. Magic, eh? A few years ago we had no way of telling 30 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,918 that you're wrong and I'm right. 31 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,758 Yeah. 32 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:23,078 Fab. So, er, shall we? 33 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,718 I don't know about you but I am starving. 34 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:29,720 To be honest, Callum, I don't know if I'm really feeling it now. 35 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:32,198 Come on. 36 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:36,200 Don't let a little misunderstanding like that ruin my evening? 37 00:02:36,320 --> 00:02:37,518 Oh, come on. 38 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:41,520 You'll be missin' yersel'. 39 00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:57,878 Great place, this. 40 00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,278 Oh, you come here often? 41 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,678 Aye. Four maybe five times a week. They know me. 42 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,998 The food is extraordinary. 43 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:09,000 But, um, you cannae trust them. 44 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,438 Who? 45 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,798 I'm no racist, right? 46 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,198 But to them we're just imperialist pig dogs. 47 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:17,598 They'll screw you over as soon as look at you. 48 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:19,278 Right, er... They? 49 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,278 Just wait till we get the bill, you'll see. 50 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:26,280 You see, I love the food, so I operate a zero tolerance policy. 51 00:03:26,400 --> 00:03:28,918 What's that? 52 00:03:28,920 --> 00:03:32,920 Oh, mate! Ready to order. 53 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:36,798 This is going to be quick and it's not going to be repeated, so listen up. 54 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,800 I'll have a bowl of won ton soup, the Singapore vermicelli noodles, 55 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,718 half a Peking duck with pancakes 56 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:46,078 har gow, char siu and the wasabi chicken dim sum. 57 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:47,398 OK. And for you? 58 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:50,598 She'll have soup, chicken stir-fry and grilled pork dumplings. 59 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,958 OK. And to drink? 60 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:55,398 Two Tsingtao. Now you know the drill so listen up. 61 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:58,878 We don't want the food getting cold so as and when, bring it. OK? 62 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,880 OK. 63 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,678 Actually I could do with a... 64 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,718 See what I'm saying? Zero tolerance. 65 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:14,720 Cannae mess about with these people. Tiananmen Square, man. Look it up. 66 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:19,598 So tell me about yourself. You're in PR, no? 67 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,118 Er, yeah. 68 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,758 PR, man. 69 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:27,598 Public Relations. Way I see it, the public don't need relating to. 70 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,598 The time for relating is over. 71 00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:32,278 All this fucking X Factor bollocks. 72 00:04:32,280 --> 00:04:35,118 The public need a smack up the bracket, wake the fuckers up. 73 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:39,038 Yeah. I just try to sell them perfume. 74 00:04:39,040 --> 00:04:41,958 Ah! Perfume. I can get on board with that. 75 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,158 Cos the public fucking stink. They do, eh? 76 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:48,118 They stink of stale cheap lager and, um, pish. 77 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,798 So aye. What you're doing, that's like a public service. 78 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:53,118 Otherwise there'd be a lot of smelly fucking people 79 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,238 getting up my nose and fucking me the fuck off. 80 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,358 Right. I see what you mean. 81 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,078 Hot and sour soup. Won ton soup. 82 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:03,198 Whoa, whoa, whoa, pal. What's this? 83 00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:05,438 That is won ton soup. 84 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:09,440 Aye, but I'm looking at it and I'm seeing one, two, three won tons. 85 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:13,078 You want another won ton? 86 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,478 If it's not too much bother pal, aye. 87 00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:19,480 No. No bother. 88 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,718 See what I'm saying? Zero tolerance. 89 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,038 It's the only language these people understand. 90 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,038 I don't want my kids growing up speaking bloody Mandarin. That's the way things are going. 91 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,558 Yeah. Listen, Callum... 92 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,038 Your won ton, sir. 93 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,838 What are you waiting for? 94 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,238 Thanks, my man. 95 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:40,798 Your soup OK? Need more fish sauce? 96 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:42,238 Or perhaps some more tofu? 97 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,598 Er, I'm fine, thank you. 98 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,478 You sure? I can't get you anything else? More pork maybe. 99 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:48,478 No, really, I'm fine. 100 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:52,480 Did you not hear her, pal? She's fine. 101 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,558 OK. Listen, Callum, I think I'm going to go. 102 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:04,798 What? 103 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,078 I'll pay for my half of the food even though it's more than... 104 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,798 You're going? 105 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,118 Yeah. 106 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,478 But why? 107 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,798 Well, it's not really working out, is it? 108 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:19,998 What are you talking about? We've just been here five minutes. 109 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,278 I just got my soup. You've not even touched yours. 110 00:06:22,280 --> 00:06:25,518 I just don't think we have anything in common. 111 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:27,878 I just... I don't understand this. 112 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,718 I mean, one minute we're flirting, the next you're... 113 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:32,878 When did I flirt? 114 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:35,478 All that stuff outside, with the "ah!" 115 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,960 It was straight out of a Meg Ryan film. 116 00:06:40,320 --> 00:06:44,320 Well, look, Callum, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea 117 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:47,758 but I'm just not really interested. 118 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,678 OK. I get it. 119 00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:53,838 You're going cos apparently five minutes 120 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:57,318 is long enough to compile a complete assessment of my personality 121 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:59,398 and you don't like what you're seeing. 122 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:01,678 No, Callum, it's not that. 123 00:07:01,680 --> 00:07:04,798 I mean, I know I'm no Hugh Grant but... 124 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,198 I thought you'd see past that. 125 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:10,798 From your profile it looked... 126 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:12,438 What? 127 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,440 It looked like you'd be the sort of person that wouldn't care about that. 128 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,718 I am. 129 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,720 So what's the problem? 130 00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:35,440 I'm gay. 131 00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:41,760 Er... A lesbian. 132 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:44,878 I like girls. You know... 133 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,880 Gay. 134 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,558 Right, so... 135 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,438 what you're saying is that you're... 136 00:07:56,440 --> 00:08:00,440 Er, yeah. Gay. 137 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,078 A gay? 138 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:10,080 A gay person? A homo? 139 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:14,160 Yes. A homosexual. 140 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,598 Correct me if I'm wrong 141 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,238 but I don't think at any point I have misrepresented myself to you. 142 00:08:23,240 --> 00:08:24,918 I mean, forgive me if I have, 143 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:28,920 but I think you've known the whole time that I am... a man. 144 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,878 Yes. I knew you were a man. 145 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,438 So why are you here? 146 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,838 Do you really want to know? 147 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:38,878 I'm pretty fucking curious, yes. 148 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:40,758 My brother. 149 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,798 Your brother? 150 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,198 Making me do this. He just kept going on and on at me 151 00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:49,198 and in the end I said all right just to shut him up. 152 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:53,200 And he picked you. 153 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:55,198 To turn you back on to guys? 154 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,518 That's... 155 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,678 That's not going to happen, Callum. 156 00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:02,598 Oh. 157 00:09:02,600 --> 00:09:04,198 OK. 158 00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:08,200 So there you go. 159 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,198 It was... It's been interesting meeting you 160 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:14,798 and I hope you don't take this personally. 161 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:16,158 Can I ask you something? 162 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:17,758 What? 163 00:09:17,760 --> 00:09:19,398 I think your bro's a complete prick. 164 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,598 He disnae have the right to say who you do or don't go on a date with. 165 00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,080 It's none of his business. 166 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,038 He's not a prick. 167 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:30,678 He's just looking out for me. 168 00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:33,078 It's what he does. 169 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:36,878 Well, let me tell you looking out for folk is overrated. 170 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,278 It's a mug's game. 171 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:42,280 Only you can decide who you are, what you do, who you fuck, whatever. 172 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:46,638 I've thought long and hard about this because people used to try and tell me what to do. 173 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:50,638 "Callum, stop doing that. Callum, don't go in there. Callum, she's too young for you." 174 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,638 Eventually I thought, "Ah, fuck off." 175 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,640 Cos nobody gets to tell you or anybody what to do. 176 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:01,078 It's the only law we've got. 177 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:05,080 No matter how they make you feel, no matter how good the advice seems, 178 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:09,240 never let anyone ever, ever, ever tell you what to do. 179 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:17,120 Ever. 180 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,678 Now here's what you do, right? 181 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:25,680 You look your bro straight in the eye and you say, 182 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:30,518 "Bro! I'm gay 183 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:34,520 "and I don't give a fuck what you think so back the fuck off." 184 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:45,080 Zero tolerance, love. The name of the game. 185 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:51,158 Food's here. Just stay and eat? 186 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,358 We don't even need to talk. You might as well. 187 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:58,360 You're paying for half of it. 188 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:02,600 OK. 189 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,314 OK. Good. 190 00:11:06,863 --> 00:11:10,252 I grab him by the balls, right? I'm like that, "Shug. Square, go!" Then I heave him over the side! 191 00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:14,790 He falls 20 foot on his arse... Bang! Full set of X-rays. 192 00:11:14,846 --> 00:11:18,846 Pelvic bruising. Humiliation? Total! 193 00:11:19,286 --> 00:11:21,724 Why do all your stories involve balls? 194 00:11:21,726 --> 00:11:25,204 I don't know. But they do, eh? 195 00:11:25,206 --> 00:11:29,206 Oh, God! 196 00:11:30,486 --> 00:11:32,604 I need another drink. 197 00:11:32,606 --> 00:11:35,484 Hey, um... Can you, er... Can I have another glass of... 198 00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,206 whatever this pink shit is? 199 00:11:37,238 --> 00:11:37,956 And more beer! 200 00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,316 And he wants more beer. 201 00:11:39,318 --> 00:11:41,396 When does he want it? Now! 202 00:11:41,398 --> 00:11:43,618 You catch on quick, Erica. 203 00:11:43,696 --> 00:11:45,214 Zero tolerance! 204 00:11:45,216 --> 00:11:47,654 Yup, zero fucking tolerance! Cheers! 205 00:11:47,656 --> 00:11:51,656 Cheers! 206 00:11:54,656 --> 00:11:57,676 What's it like... being a lesbian? 207 00:11:57,770 --> 00:12:00,048 Oh... you don't want to know about that. 208 00:12:00,050 --> 00:12:04,050 No, no, I'm fascinated in all aspects of human sexuality. 209 00:12:04,250 --> 00:12:06,648 Oh, yeah? Watch a lot of porn, do you? 210 00:12:06,650 --> 00:12:10,448 Well, aye, but I've got an academic interest as well. 211 00:12:10,450 --> 00:12:13,448 An "academic interest"? That sounds really creepy, Callum. 212 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,648 What? 213 00:12:15,650 --> 00:12:17,688 Look, I don't want to talk about it. 214 00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:19,608 Whenever I talk to men about being gay, 215 00:12:19,610 --> 00:12:21,248 they get this look in their eyes 216 00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:24,608 like they're imagining me doing the scissors with Cheryl Cole. 217 00:12:24,610 --> 00:12:26,168 Yeah... 218 00:12:26,170 --> 00:12:29,688 Oi! 219 00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,248 Oi! Stop it! 220 00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,768 Sorry. Sorry, right... Do you want to know what I think? 221 00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:35,328 Yeah, sure. Right... 222 00:12:35,330 --> 00:12:38,608 I think that sex is an unfixed, 223 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:41,728 amorphous phenomena that's impossible to define, or study. 224 00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:44,208 One of the great mysteries of the universe. 225 00:12:44,210 --> 00:12:48,168 I think we exist on a continuum, right? 226 00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:52,170 And sexual identity and our place within it is an unknown quantity. 227 00:12:52,770 --> 00:12:55,888 It's not unknown. Well, to you maybe, but... 228 00:12:55,890 --> 00:12:57,488 Right, right. 229 00:12:57,490 --> 00:12:59,808 Say that one is the straightest you can be, 230 00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:02,208 and ten is the gayest you can be, 231 00:13:02,210 --> 00:13:04,008 I think we all exist on that line. 232 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,688 It's not like a binary equation, on or off. 233 00:13:06,690 --> 00:13:08,088 One thing or the other. As I say, 234 00:13:08,090 --> 00:13:11,768 it's... it's a continuum. 235 00:13:11,770 --> 00:13:15,770 OK. So where are you on this continuum, hmm? 236 00:13:15,930 --> 00:13:19,930 From one to ten - one being straight as a line, ten as gay as Christmas. 237 00:13:24,770 --> 00:13:27,288 Oh, God, you're going to say you're a one, aren't you? 238 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:31,290 Was there ever any doubt? 239 00:13:32,010 --> 00:13:34,088 Here's your bill. We are closing now. 240 00:13:34,090 --> 00:13:35,208 Aye. 241 00:13:35,210 --> 00:13:39,210 So... what about you? 242 00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:42,928 Ten. Pish! 243 00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:45,448 How's that pish? You don't know me. 244 00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:48,648 You're not a ten. You're not even a nine, or an eight. 245 00:13:48,650 --> 00:13:51,968 I'd say... you're a solid six. 246 00:13:51,970 --> 00:13:55,970 Six?! So, what, that's... one above bisexual? 247 00:13:56,290 --> 00:14:00,290 Aye. Deny it, I dare you. 248 00:14:06,170 --> 00:14:08,648 All right, I'm too drunk to argue, anyway. 249 00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:10,608 Let's say I am a six, so what? 250 00:14:10,610 --> 00:14:12,928 So you've been with men. You have, haven't you? 251 00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:14,488 Maybe. 252 00:14:14,490 --> 00:14:16,488 And liked it? 253 00:14:16,490 --> 00:14:20,490 Erm... I didn't know what I wanted then. 254 00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:22,488 I want another chance. 255 00:14:22,490 --> 00:14:23,928 What? 256 00:14:23,930 --> 00:14:25,848 I'm sorry, we really need the bill. 257 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:29,850 In a minute. 258 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,488 Give me another chance. 259 00:14:31,490 --> 00:14:35,048 At what? At me?! 260 00:14:35,050 --> 00:14:36,888 I reckon I'm the guy for you, Erica. 261 00:14:36,890 --> 00:14:39,248 I reckon we could make something, something special. 262 00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:43,250 I mean, just think about what our kids would look like. 263 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:45,648 Er, listen... 264 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:48,128 No, no, you listen. 265 00:14:48,130 --> 00:14:50,128 I've been on a lot of dates with a lot of girls... 266 00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:51,208 Really?! 267 00:14:51,210 --> 00:14:54,168 Well, two, including this one, and the other so-called "girl" 268 00:14:54,170 --> 00:14:56,808 turned out to be... That doesn't matter. What matters is that 269 00:14:56,810 --> 00:14:58,768 you had a chance to go and you never took that. 270 00:14:58,770 --> 00:15:01,568 That must mean something, that there's something between us. 271 00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:02,968 Tell me I'm wrong! 272 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,688 You're wrong, Callum! 273 00:15:04,690 --> 00:15:07,368 God, what is wrong with you people?! 274 00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:08,368 "You people"?! 275 00:15:08,370 --> 00:15:10,048 I mean men! You, my brother! 276 00:15:10,050 --> 00:15:12,008 I mean, how many times do I have to tell you 277 00:15:12,010 --> 00:15:14,088 that I'm not into bloody cock! 278 00:15:14,090 --> 00:15:17,608 God, I don't know what else I have to do to prove it to you. 279 00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:21,610 Jesus! What the fuck am I doing here?! 280 00:15:24,050 --> 00:15:26,888 OK. 281 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:30,890 I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong idea. 282 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:35,490 No, it's OK... It's OK. 283 00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:43,128 So, it's, like, 40 quid each, with tip. 284 00:15:43,130 --> 00:15:46,328 So at least tell me what I've done wrong. 285 00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:48,168 Oh, let's not... No, come on. 286 00:15:48,170 --> 00:15:50,568 Tell me what I've done wrong. I mean, we're not going to 287 00:15:50,570 --> 00:15:53,288 see each other again, so you can at least give me that. 288 00:15:53,290 --> 00:15:55,728 Huh? I mean, I'm new to this. It'll help me. 289 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:59,730 So, go on, tell me. What did I do wrong? 290 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:05,168 All right. You came on a bit strong. Girls don't like that. 291 00:16:05,170 --> 00:16:07,128 OK, I can work on that. What else? 292 00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:09,208 You ordered for me. That's a turn-off. 293 00:16:09,210 --> 00:16:13,210 That's just good sense! I know this place better than you. 294 00:16:13,610 --> 00:16:15,208 Right, OK. Apart from that? 295 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:17,688 I'm sorry, we really have to close now! 296 00:16:17,690 --> 00:16:20,488 In... a minute! Carry on, Erica. 297 00:16:20,490 --> 00:16:23,808 Oh, you come across as a bit arrogant. 298 00:16:23,810 --> 00:16:24,728 What? 299 00:16:24,730 --> 00:16:26,528 A bit arrogant. Just a bit. 300 00:16:26,530 --> 00:16:28,808 Arrogant? Well, yeah. 301 00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:31,328 I mean, you've got all these theories 302 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,648 and philosophies and principles, 303 00:16:33,650 --> 00:16:37,648 and you don't even see that people might not agree with you... 304 00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,408 all the time. 305 00:16:39,410 --> 00:16:43,208 Arrogant. 306 00:16:43,210 --> 00:16:47,210 Callum? 307 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:49,688 Callum? 308 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:53,690 Maybe we should go. They... They want to close. 309 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:57,850 Callum? 310 00:16:58,170 --> 00:17:01,368 Let me tell you something, missy... 311 00:17:01,370 --> 00:17:05,128 I may be an arrogant Scottish twat, 312 00:17:05,130 --> 00:17:07,888 but at least I've got my self-respect! 313 00:17:07,890 --> 00:17:11,890 This oh-so-meek bollocks may fool your brother, but it doesnae fool me! 314 00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:14,928 You're just a scared wee girl, who doesn't know 315 00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:17,568 who she is or what she's doing. 316 00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:19,208 No, I... I'm not... 317 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,688 I might be arrogant, 318 00:17:21,690 --> 00:17:25,690 but I'm also a beautiful, flawed, multi-faceted, 319 00:17:25,930 --> 00:17:28,888 complex individual with a lot of love to give, 320 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,890 and you're... just a ghost. A big, 321 00:17:36,130 --> 00:17:40,130 gay ghost, who thinks that I'm arrogant, and doesn't fancy me! 322 00:17:40,730 --> 00:17:43,448 Oh, oh, Callum... 323 00:17:43,450 --> 00:17:46,448 Oh, God! 324 00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:48,008 This is who I am! 325 00:17:48,010 --> 00:17:52,010 I'm a man who cries! 326 00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,448 Oh, Callum, come on! 327 00:17:54,450 --> 00:17:56,688 I'm sorry, we really need the bill... 328 00:17:56,690 --> 00:17:58,530 We have to close, right now! 329 00:18:01,050 --> 00:18:05,050 All right, all right. Look, I'll just... I'll just pay you, OK? 330 00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:08,488 Do you take cards? 331 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:11,128 No. Oh, um... 332 00:18:11,130 --> 00:18:15,008 Callum? Have you got some money, so we can pay the man? 333 00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:15,808 Callum? 334 00:18:15,810 --> 00:18:18,368 Sir! You must pay now! Sir! 335 00:18:18,370 --> 00:18:22,370 Don't you ever, ever touch me, you commie fuck! 336 00:18:22,770 --> 00:18:24,648 Callum, please! 337 00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:26,608 Say sorry for touching me, you dick! 338 00:18:26,610 --> 00:18:29,088 Callum, they're calling the police! Just let him go! 339 00:18:29,090 --> 00:18:31,930 Say sorry! Fuck you! 340 00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,608 Let me go! Let me go! 341 00:18:37,610 --> 00:18:39,008 You're a fucking asshole! 342 00:18:39,010 --> 00:18:40,488 Get off me! Get the fuck of me! 343 00:18:40,490 --> 00:18:42,088 The police are coming! No... 344 00:18:42,090 --> 00:18:45,368 No police. He's had a bad night. It's my fault. 345 00:18:45,370 --> 00:18:49,208 Callum... Callum, I think if you apologise, they'll let you go. 346 00:18:49,210 --> 00:18:51,448 Otherwise, the police will come and take you away. 347 00:18:51,450 --> 00:18:53,328 I never apologise! Callum, please! 348 00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:55,448 Never surrender! Zero tolerance! 349 00:18:55,450 --> 00:18:57,808 I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding... 350 00:18:57,810 --> 00:19:01,248 Callum, please... For fuck's sake, just say you're sorry! 351 00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:02,730 NO...! 352 00:19:24,570 --> 00:19:28,570 Tony, thank God. Are you OK? 353 00:19:28,930 --> 00:19:32,930 I don't know what to do. 354 00:19:39,610 --> 00:19:41,688 You're supposed to be looking after my sister. 355 00:19:41,690 --> 00:19:44,648 Whatever he's saying, it's all lies. 356 00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:48,650 Is it? 357 00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:50,608 Not exactly. 358 00:19:50,610 --> 00:19:52,208 Oh, aye, that's it! 359 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:56,210 All club together. 360 00:20:04,410 --> 00:20:05,488 Tony... 361 00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:09,490 It's fine. Don't worry about it. 362 00:20:12,810 --> 00:20:14,768 I suppose I should say thank you. 363 00:20:14,770 --> 00:20:18,770 No. Just piss off! 364 00:20:19,330 --> 00:20:21,088 I'll see you, then. 365 00:20:21,090 --> 00:20:25,090 Yeah... Bye, Callum. Sorry it turned out this way. 366 00:20:28,330 --> 00:20:30,648 Aye. 367 00:20:30,650 --> 00:20:33,768 That was a mistake. We should have spotted he was Scottish. 368 00:20:33,770 --> 00:20:37,770 Maybe you find a Chinese guy next time. Keep Mum happy. 369 00:20:38,810 --> 00:20:41,968 Tony... 370 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:45,970 That's it. I'm not doing this again. Just... stop it. 371 00:20:47,090 --> 00:20:49,288 Can't you see the mess I'm in? 372 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:51,448 I'm trying to help you. 373 00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:52,888 Excuse me... 374 00:20:52,890 --> 00:20:54,208 What do you want? 375 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,648 She's gay, mate. 376 00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:58,088 You should piss off now! 377 00:20:58,090 --> 00:20:59,328 Just saying. Callum... 378 00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:01,408 No, Erica, if you're going to be a lesbian, 379 00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:03,248 you've got to grow a pair... 380 00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:06,128 Just leave! This is none of your business! 381 00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:07,608 Tell him you're gay. 382 00:21:07,610 --> 00:21:09,448 I've already told him. 383 00:21:09,450 --> 00:21:13,450 Tell him again. 384 00:21:16,050 --> 00:21:17,848 Tony... Don't do this. 385 00:21:17,850 --> 00:21:19,568 You're killing us. 386 00:21:19,570 --> 00:21:20,848 You're killing your family. 387 00:21:20,850 --> 00:21:22,248 Mate... 388 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:24,088 She's a fanny fumbler! And apparently, 389 00:21:24,090 --> 00:21:25,728 there's nothin' we can do about it. 390 00:21:25,730 --> 00:21:29,288 And believe me, I gave it a pretty good try. So there we go. 391 00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:32,048 Deal done. I'll leave you with that. 392 00:21:32,050 --> 00:21:36,050 And I'll bid you good night. 393 00:21:36,530 --> 00:21:40,530 So good luck, huh, with everything. 394 00:21:41,370 --> 00:21:44,928 Get your coat. I'll take you home. 395 00:21:44,930 --> 00:21:48,930 No. 396 00:21:50,130 --> 00:21:54,130 No! Can't you get it into your skull? 397 00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:59,410 Back... the fuck... off! 398 00:22:01,530 --> 00:22:04,128 Callum? Aye. 399 00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:07,608 Would you like to go and get drunk with me? 400 00:22:07,610 --> 00:22:11,610 We're already drunk! 401 00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:16,930 You can't tell... Dad. 402 00:22:20,610 --> 00:22:24,568 Zero tolerance! 403 00:22:24,570 --> 00:22:26,608 Hey, you should give that lassie a ring. 404 00:22:26,610 --> 00:22:27,808 The one that you like. 405 00:22:27,810 --> 00:22:28,648 Kate? 406 00:22:28,650 --> 00:22:30,008 Aye. Give her a ring. 407 00:22:30,010 --> 00:22:31,448 Get her out. 408 00:22:31,450 --> 00:22:33,288 I don't know, Callum. 409 00:22:33,290 --> 00:22:37,290 Oh, come on! She'll fuckin' love me! 410 00:22:39,410 --> 00:22:40,808 OK. 411 00:22:40,810 --> 00:22:43,928 That's just cos you want to be out with two lesbians, isn't it? 412 00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:47,930 Well... Aye, well... 413 00:22:50,130 --> 00:22:51,368 Is she hot? 414 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:55,370 Yes. She's smokin'! 415 00:23:11,370 --> 00:23:14,408 I'm not married. 416 00:23:14,410 --> 00:23:17,117 I'm thinking you're a bit more of a short-term fantasy. 417 00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:40,360 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 30280

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