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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:27,212 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 2 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:34,838 Oi! 3 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,878 Hey. 4 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:37,558 Hold on... 5 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,278 You all right? 6 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,878 - You are David, right? - Yeah. Yes, I'm David. 7 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,718 Oh, good. I'm Ellie, obviously. 8 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:43,398 Hiya. 9 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,638 You're a lot taller in person, aren't you? 10 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,958 Er, I dunno. Is that a question? 11 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:51,960 Well, I phrased it like a compliment but it's really just a statement. 12 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:54,878 What? 13 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,718 I'm sorry. I know this is incredibly rude - 14 00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:59,118 can you just remind me of how old you are again? 15 00:00:59,120 --> 00:00:59,798 Why? 16 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,038 Honestly? 17 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,558 I... I thought you'd be a lot older. 18 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:05,078 I know, right? It's this baby face - 19 00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:07,878 gets ID'd all the time. It's a curse and a blessing. 20 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,078 Do you want to see my ID? 21 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,798 Oh, no, no, no. I just thought you'd look a bit older, that's all. 22 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,238 I know I look about 15 now but, if this works out, 23 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,478 you should know that by the time I'm 30, 35, 24 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:19,598 I should have the porcelain skin of a sun-starved Icelandic orphan, 25 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:22,838 so... lucky! 26 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,838 Yeah. Don't-don't look at the picture there, 27 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,478 it's a really unflattering photo. 28 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:30,480 I had it done before GHDs was a thing. 29 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:33,158 Suave jacket, mister. 30 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,358 Oh, thanks. 31 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:35,838 LL Bean, right?? 32 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:37,438 Er, I don't know. Is that good? 33 00:01:37,440 --> 00:01:40,598 Oh, their vintage stuff is amazing. Did you get it from the '70s? 34 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,918 Oh, no, no, no. It's new. It's new. Um... 35 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,598 My sister got it for me for my birthday. 36 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:46,638 When? 37 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,278 Today. 38 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:48,318 Today? Yeah. 39 00:01:48,320 --> 00:01:49,838 - It's your birthday today?! - Yeah. 40 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,278 And you're spending it with me? 41 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,358 That's so sad. 42 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:55,718 Sorry, I didn't mean... 43 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:57,718 I meant... I meant we should go and celebrate. 44 00:01:57,720 --> 00:02:00,358 - You pick the place, obviously. - Me? Oh, um... 45 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,678 David! It's your day of birth. That means today belongs to you. 46 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,358 We can go anywhere you want. 47 00:02:05,360 --> 00:02:08,038 We can go to the Shard. We can go skydiving. 48 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,838 - We can go on a murder spree if you want. - Well, no. Um... 49 00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:12,198 Where do you want to go? 50 00:02:12,200 --> 00:02:12,878 I'm just... 51 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:15,198 Where's your favourite place in the whole world? 52 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,718 Um... 53 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:18,840 Er, Marrakesh. 54 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,478 What? 55 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,638 Really? 56 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,078 Yeah, it's nice. 57 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,438 When did you go? 58 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,278 Oh, it was a while ago. 59 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:28,998 We can't really go now, can we? 60 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,758 Well, no, I didn't mean that. 61 00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:34,478 Nice in here, innit? 62 00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:35,838 Yeah, it's cool. 63 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:37,918 It's funky. 64 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,398 Do people still say funky? 65 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:40,838 Ironically, maybe. 66 00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:41,558 Yeah. 67 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:43,238 My dad says it all the time. 68 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:44,478 That's not good. 69 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,480 How you doing? 70 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,518 Welcome to Hollywoodland. 71 00:02:52,520 --> 00:02:56,520 My name's George and, er, I'm going to be your server tonight. 72 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:00,558 Do you want to take our order or...? 73 00:03:00,560 --> 00:03:01,758 Yes! Yeah? 74 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:02,998 Yeah. 75 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,398 Sorry. It's-it's my first day. 76 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:07,758 Oh, right. Don't worry about it, mate, it's fine. 77 00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:08,918 Er, now what can I get you? 78 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:10,278 Um, yeah, do you want to...? 79 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,518 Can I have the Classic American, onion fries 80 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:15,518 and a large White Russian, please? 81 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,678 White... Russian. 82 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,318 You sure? 83 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,878 Yeah. It's delicious. 84 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,638 But don't mix milk and vodka thinking it tastes the same, 85 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:23,798 cos it does not. 86 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:25,638 Er... and for you, sir? 87 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,078 Er... I don't know. 88 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:31,198 Get the barbecue baby back ribs. You'll want the full rack. Not half. 89 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:35,038 That's cool cos you can handle it. 90 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,838 I will have the full rack of baby back ribs then, please. 91 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:39,918 Ribs. And to drink? 92 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:40,998 Just a beer, thanks. 93 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,198 OK. 94 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,558 All right, then. Cheers. 95 00:03:43,560 --> 00:03:44,278 Thanks. 96 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,958 Thank you very much. 97 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:47,398 That was a bit weird, wasn't it? 98 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,958 What was he sitting next to me for? 99 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,278 Anyway, do you Hollywoodland it with all your internet girls? 100 00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:55,438 No. 101 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:58,838 Well, yeah, only special ones. 102 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:01,518 So, what do you do in the real world? 103 00:04:01,520 --> 00:04:04,598 What, my job? Um, I'm a driver. 104 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,638 All right, Ryan Gosling. Keep it vague! 105 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,758 What do you drive then, Driver Dave? 106 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:12,118 I just-just drive lorries, really. 107 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,038 You're a trucker? 108 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,118 Yeah, yeah, like a trucker. Yeah. 109 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,558 Mm. 110 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,438 What? 111 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:20,598 Nothing. 112 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,078 Go on - what? I know what you're going to say, so say it. 113 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,398 All right, how many prostitutes have you murdered? 114 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:25,998 I lose count. 115 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,158 Yeah, I'll bet. 116 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:31,118 Yeah, it's just hazards of the trade, you know? Got to be done. 117 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:32,558 Er, what-what-what do you do? 118 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:34,558 Sorry. So there's a White Russian. 119 00:04:34,560 --> 00:04:35,878 Thank you. 120 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:37,398 And there's a beer for you. 121 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,758 Thank you, mate. Cheers. 122 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,158 Thank you. 123 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,598 Sorry, yeah, go on - what do you do? 124 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:43,438 Well, until recently, I was employed 125 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,998 in the transitional world of media... 126 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:46,878 Sounds exciting 127 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:47,918 Like the movies? 128 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:51,158 Oh, yeah? So, what, you're going to try and stay in that field? 129 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,598 No, they closed down Blockbusters. 130 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:57,600 Right. Yeah. 131 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,278 Have you got anything else in the pipeline? 132 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,958 Oh, God, no. 133 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:03,878 OK. 134 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,438 I have handed my CV out, though, all over the internet 135 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,518 and I just get feedback, like, saying I'm over-qualified 136 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:10,918 or I'm too creative. 137 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,158 It's like I'm literally too smart for minimum wage. 138 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,798 - Yeah, well, aren't we all? - I know. It's great and everything, 139 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,158 but I've got to pay this thing called council tax. 140 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,958 I've got like two weeks left on my lease, 141 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:21,398 so it's not that I'm desperate, 142 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,958 but I've had to modify my CV to a blank piece of paper 143 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,440 saying, "I clean," written again and again in marker pen. 144 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:31,278 - I'm sure something will come up. - I do do other things with my time, though. 145 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:35,280 I'm doing a collection of, like, William Blake-style lithographs 146 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:39,480 depicting my entire sexual history, but on Tumblr. 147 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:40,558 Wh-what's that? 148 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:41,278 It's like a blog. 149 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,318 Oh, right. 150 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:44,758 It's just an ironic gesture of how romance is outdated. 151 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:48,760 I haven't really worked it out yet. 152 00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:50,678 Well, you will. You will. 153 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:54,680 Mm. 154 00:05:56,560 --> 00:06:00,478 Thank you very much. Cheers, pal. 155 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,838 Ooh, yeah. 156 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,438 So. You never told me how old you were, birthday boy. 157 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:06,078 Well, birthday man. 158 00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,238 Man. I am. 159 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:09,998 Um... 160 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:14,000 Go on, you can guess. Go on. 161 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,958 30... 162 00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:20,758 8? 38! 163 00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:21,838 I'm 34. 164 00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:22,918 Yeah, 34 - right! 165 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:26,920 I'm 34. 166 00:06:27,600 --> 00:06:29,958 Oh. I'm so sorry. I... 167 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:32,638 No, it's all right. It's all right. I'll live. You know... 168 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:35,718 No. Sod it, no. 38? 169 00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:36,318 Well... 170 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,558 38!? 171 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:39,798 - I dunno. I think it's your eyes. - What's wrong with my eyes? 172 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,678 Well, nothing. They just make you look... distinguished. 173 00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:43,958 Distinguished. Right. 174 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:46,238 - Yeah. Like an expensive coffee table. - Ooh, cheers! 175 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:47,398 I said expensive. 176 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,838 Yeah. Oh, thank you. 177 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,518 So, what does it feel like, then? 178 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,718 Does what feel like? 179 00:06:52,720 --> 00:06:53,878 34. 180 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:55,998 Surprisingly similar to 33. 181 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,318 And what's that feel like? 182 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,638 Shit. Yeah. 183 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:01,198 Oh. 184 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,758 It's not that bad - 34's a great age. 185 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,238 Lots of people are 34. 186 00:07:05,240 --> 00:07:07,078 Like who? 187 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,398 Um... Fassbender. 188 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:10,598 Who? 189 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,718 De Niro was 34 when he made the film Taxi Driver. 190 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,558 Robbie Williams was mental. 191 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,238 Jesus - he was at his peak at 34. 192 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,198 No, he wasn't. 193 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,438 Yeah, he was. Why not? 194 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,918 They crucified him. 195 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,158 Oh, I forgot about that. 196 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,598 Oh... 197 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:30,798 Ellie?! 198 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:31,878 Oh, shit. 199 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,118 - Oh, my God! Where have you been all my life? - Hi. 200 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,918 - Oh, my God. Um... why are you here? - I've missed you so much. 201 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,678 Have you? You didn't call. 202 00:07:38,680 --> 00:07:40,918 Oh, you know - I get busy. 203 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,118 Anyway, how the fuck are you? 204 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:44,798 Um, well, um... 205 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,798 I'm not sucking dick for money yet, so I guess I'm doing all right. 206 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,318 I don't get it. 207 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,038 How are you, anyway? Are you fine? 208 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,198 Yeah, I'm great. Just great. 209 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:57,558 Great. Um, you look good. 210 00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:59,718 Ah, that's probably because I'm so skinny now. 211 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:01,878 Right. Um, have you lost weight? 212 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:04,518 I dunno, I don't really pay attention to that kind of stuff. 213 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,558 Although I have been really stressed 214 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:09,798 since this whole recession thingy. Everyone is so moody. 215 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,838 Times are hard. 216 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:14,840 I know, right? I'm so glad it's over now. 217 00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,358 You know, it's weird. 218 00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,678 You know when you dropped out of sixth form last year? 219 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,678 There was this massive rumour doing the rounds that you were... 220 00:08:25,680 --> 00:08:27,880 You know... 221 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,758 You thought I... 222 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:32,318 Vera Draked? 223 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:36,320 Well, everyone kinda did in an unspoken Facebook kind of way. 224 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,558 So what are you doing now? Working? Uni? 225 00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:44,238 Um. No. I'm-I'm currently on a gap year. 226 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,718 Gap year from what? 227 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:48,798 Hi. 228 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,238 Hiya. You all right? 229 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,678 Oh, my God. Is this a date? Ellie, are you dating? 230 00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,958 Yeah, so? 231 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,918 Aww. When did you get together? 232 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:01,558 Oh, it was quite recently, actually. 233 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,598 Aww. Well, I'm so glad you have someone. 234 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:08,558 Thanks. 235 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,838 So give me a call sometime. Maybe we'll do something. 236 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,198 Sure. 237 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:16,167 - Bye. - Bye. 238 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,398 Was that Ellie that dropped out? 239 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:24,838 I can't believe she thought I thought I had a baby scrape 240 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,118 and she didn't even tweet me. 241 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:28,598 You're not 25, are you? 242 00:09:28,600 --> 00:09:30,398 Um... I'm in my 20s. 243 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:31,118 How old are you? 244 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:35,120 19. 245 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:40,200 What? 246 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,998 Is there like a special category 247 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,158 that you women look for to find mugs like me? 248 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:45,558 No. No? 249 00:09:45,560 --> 00:09:47,598 It's internet dating, what did you expect? 250 00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,958 Dunno. 251 00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,398 I thought you were... 252 00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:53,358 Well, not different. I thought you were... I thought you were nice. 253 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:53,958 I am nice! 254 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:54,998 Right. So why lie? 255 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,238 Well, I didn't... 256 00:09:56,240 --> 00:09:58,598 I just put my profile up as a social experiment 257 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:02,198 and when I read your bio, saying how you love James Bond movies 258 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,558 and you listen to Queen, I thought, "Who'd be cool to hang around with? 259 00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:08,038 "David." So what was I supposed to do? 260 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,158 Be honest! 261 00:10:09,160 --> 00:10:11,478 I have been honest, this whole time. 262 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:15,480 All right, OK, I just white-lied about my age but... 263 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,158 As you can see, I'm really embarrassed about this, 264 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,918 so why are you making this an ordeal? 265 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,718 Ellie... 266 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:25,158 I've just turned 34. Right? I've got kids. 267 00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,198 You've got kids? 268 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:27,398 Yeah. 269 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,478 But you didn't put that on your profile. 270 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:30,438 - No, I didn't, no... - Well, why not? 271 00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:31,478 Because I just... 272 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:32,518 Because you wanted to lie. 273 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,118 Don't do that. Don't-don't do that. 274 00:10:34,120 --> 00:10:37,398 Well, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm pretty mature for my age. 275 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,638 Look how chilled I am about the whole daddy thing... 276 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,598 Ellie, listen. I think this has been a mistake. 277 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,238 I can't date someone 15 years younger than me. 278 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,878 OK, OK. Look, all right, I know this is a test of character 279 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:50,358 and I've failed massively, but we don't even have to date. 280 00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,518 We can just be two people meeting. Like friends. 281 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,638 I don't want to be your friend. 282 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,398 You don't want to be my friend? 283 00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:57,998 I'm sorry. All right, I'm sorry. 284 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:58,798 Please don't go. 285 00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,718 Sorry. 286 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:01,758 ♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo 287 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,598 ♪ And happy, happy birthday 288 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:07,558 ♪ To someone that is you 289 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:08,958 ♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo 290 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,998 ♪ Happy, happy birthday 291 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:16,000 ♪ Tell us, how old are you? ♪ 292 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,758 How old are you? 293 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,038 Um, I'm, er... I'm 34. 294 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:22,798 ♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo 295 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,278 ♪ And happy, happy birthday 296 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:30,280 ♪ You've finally hit 34 297 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,598 ♪ Ooooh 298 00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:33,798 ♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo 299 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,838 ♪ Happy, happy birthday 300 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,560 ♪ It's only one year more! ♪ 301 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:45,960 That is so lame. 302 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:49,813 Thank you. 303 00:11:52,328 --> 00:11:53,726 Do you want another drink? 304 00:11:53,728 --> 00:11:55,928 No, no, no, no... 305 00:11:57,408 --> 00:11:58,846 No, I think I'm going to go. 306 00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:01,086 Go? You're supposed to be on a date with me. 307 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,448 Where you going to go? 308 00:12:03,608 --> 00:12:05,286 - Excuse me. - Yeah. 309 00:12:05,288 --> 00:12:09,448 - Could we get two more of these, please? - Of course. 310 00:12:10,488 --> 00:12:14,488 All right, I'll just have one and then... Then, that's it, all right? 311 00:12:15,608 --> 00:12:19,608 Look, I'm aware that this Hindenburg of a date is crashing into flames, 312 00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:22,286 but maybe if we keep talking, 313 00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:26,288 everything in the world will be all right. 314 00:12:30,848 --> 00:12:32,208 Oh... 315 00:12:35,368 --> 00:12:39,368 You don't make this easy, do you? 316 00:12:43,648 --> 00:12:47,648 Why did you start Internet dating? 317 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:51,768 Because er... because I was lonely. 318 00:12:53,168 --> 00:12:54,886 How long you been in the game? 319 00:12:54,888 --> 00:12:56,166 Few months. 320 00:12:56,168 --> 00:13:00,168 Erm, yeah, I've only started meeting people in the last couple of weeks. 321 00:13:01,728 --> 00:13:02,886 People? 322 00:13:02,888 --> 00:13:04,166 People, yeah. Women... 323 00:13:04,168 --> 00:13:05,886 Wow, plural. 324 00:13:05,888 --> 00:13:08,566 Yes, plural. A plethora of dates. 325 00:13:08,568 --> 00:13:09,846 With women? 326 00:13:09,848 --> 00:13:12,086 Yeah, of course with women, yeah... 327 00:13:12,088 --> 00:13:15,486 Well a... A woman. 328 00:13:15,488 --> 00:13:19,488 What was her name? 329 00:13:19,688 --> 00:13:21,646 It was Mia. 330 00:13:21,648 --> 00:13:24,046 How was it? 331 00:13:24,048 --> 00:13:27,806 You want me to tell you how my date went with another woman? 332 00:13:27,808 --> 00:13:29,126 Yeah, why not? 333 00:13:29,128 --> 00:13:30,886 We're both adults here. 334 00:13:30,888 --> 00:13:32,926 Plus who else you going to tell? 335 00:13:32,928 --> 00:13:36,646 My sister? It's true, actually. 336 00:13:36,648 --> 00:13:39,566 Oh... 337 00:13:39,568 --> 00:13:43,526 You know it was, er... It was... 338 00:13:43,528 --> 00:13:45,966 Well, it was, it was, you know, different. 339 00:13:45,968 --> 00:13:49,806 Good different, bad different? 340 00:13:49,808 --> 00:13:52,166 Just different. 341 00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:53,806 But...? 342 00:13:53,808 --> 00:13:57,808 Why... why do you assume there's a "but"? 343 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:06,008 Oh! It was, erm... 344 00:14:08,728 --> 00:14:12,728 Yeah, I wanted to see her again, but I guess she didn't fancy it. 345 00:14:12,768 --> 00:14:14,126 And that's it. 346 00:14:14,128 --> 00:14:16,366 That's it. Ah, thank you. 347 00:14:16,368 --> 00:14:19,486 Thanks. 348 00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:21,926 Yeah, that's it. 349 00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:24,566 What does she do for a living? 350 00:14:24,568 --> 00:14:25,966 I don't know. 351 00:14:25,968 --> 00:14:27,326 You don't know? 352 00:14:27,328 --> 00:14:31,328 Well, what was her last name? 353 00:14:31,648 --> 00:14:35,648 I suppose she just... you know, she values her privacy. 354 00:14:36,768 --> 00:14:38,326 Erm... 355 00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:41,048 I... 356 00:14:42,448 --> 00:14:46,448 I, I thought it was right, but, you know, it was wrong and, you know... 357 00:14:47,768 --> 00:14:49,966 That's that, you know. I've drawn a line under it. 358 00:14:49,968 --> 00:14:51,246 It's finished, it's over. 359 00:14:51,248 --> 00:14:55,248 Was she beautiful? 360 00:14:56,248 --> 00:14:58,086 Does it matter? 361 00:14:58,088 --> 00:15:01,006 I don't know, does it? 362 00:15:01,008 --> 00:15:04,326 Well... 363 00:15:04,328 --> 00:15:08,328 Well, I suppose I'm more focused on the beauty on the inside. 364 00:15:08,568 --> 00:15:10,726 All right. Sure. 365 00:15:10,728 --> 00:15:14,286 Yeah. Exactly. 366 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:18,288 Oh, dear. 367 00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:24,286 I was just making conversation. 368 00:15:24,288 --> 00:15:25,766 I'm just going for a pee. 369 00:15:25,768 --> 00:15:28,368 Are you coming back? 370 00:16:20,008 --> 00:16:24,008 I've been thinking, and this, surprisingly, wasn't awful. 371 00:16:25,608 --> 00:16:27,446 You know, I mean, I've had better times 372 00:16:27,448 --> 00:16:31,046 but, you know, it's, it's been... it's been nice, it has, 373 00:16:31,048 --> 00:16:35,048 but, you know, I am going to have to go. Is that all right? 374 00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:42,328 Sorry. 375 00:16:51,128 --> 00:16:53,966 You are such a hypocrite. 376 00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:57,968 What? Ellie. Ellie! 377 00:17:13,568 --> 00:17:16,486 Hey! What was that? 378 00:17:16,488 --> 00:17:17,806 Did you answer it? 379 00:17:17,808 --> 00:17:19,046 What? 380 00:17:19,048 --> 00:17:20,526 Your phone, did you answer it? 381 00:17:20,528 --> 00:17:21,566 No. 382 00:17:21,568 --> 00:17:22,966 Well, why not? 383 00:17:22,968 --> 00:17:24,246 Why do you care? 384 00:17:24,248 --> 00:17:25,846 I don't know, maybe because I'm nice. 385 00:17:25,848 --> 00:17:27,166 What you talking about? 386 00:17:27,168 --> 00:17:28,726 Well, I was just trying to fix it. 387 00:17:28,728 --> 00:17:32,206 Fix? 388 00:17:32,208 --> 00:17:36,208 What have you fixed? 389 00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:38,846 "Go fuck yourself"?! 390 00:17:38,848 --> 00:17:39,886 Yeah. 391 00:17:39,888 --> 00:17:41,086 "Go fuck yourself." 392 00:17:41,088 --> 00:17:44,126 Well, it's confrontational and flirtatious. She'll totally get it. 393 00:17:44,128 --> 00:17:45,366 What is wrong with you? 394 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:47,024 - Nothing is wrong with me. - Seriously? 395 00:17:47,048 --> 00:17:49,286 All right, in hindsight, I might have over-stepped my bounds a tad. 396 00:17:49,288 --> 00:17:50,366 Oh, you think! 397 00:17:50,368 --> 00:17:53,286 Whatever epic romance you two had was long dead before I arrived. 398 00:17:53,288 --> 00:17:56,766 So... now, you've got a way back in or a satisfactory "Fuck You". 399 00:17:56,768 --> 00:17:59,966 Either way, you've got her attention and that's what you wanted, right? 400 00:17:59,968 --> 00:18:03,046 Yeah, well done. 401 00:18:03,048 --> 00:18:04,806 I've totally fucked this, haven't I? 402 00:18:04,808 --> 00:18:06,366 Yeah, it's not gone well, has it? 403 00:18:06,368 --> 00:18:07,406 No, not really. 404 00:18:07,408 --> 00:18:09,006 Well, I'm just going to go, all right? 405 00:18:09,008 --> 00:18:10,926 Well, I'm sorry I ruined your birthday. 406 00:18:10,928 --> 00:18:13,566 There was nothing to ruin. Believe me. 407 00:18:13,568 --> 00:18:15,406 Or... 408 00:18:15,408 --> 00:18:19,046 we could resign ourselves to the fact this is a pissing train wreck 409 00:18:19,048 --> 00:18:21,886 and we're both having an awful time, so we might as well stay out. 410 00:18:21,888 --> 00:18:25,888 What else are you going do? 411 00:18:26,168 --> 00:18:27,806 Come on. 412 00:18:27,808 --> 00:18:28,886 Woohoo! 413 00:18:28,888 --> 00:18:30,046 Where are you going? 414 00:18:30,048 --> 00:18:33,286 Well, come on then! Slow coach! 415 00:18:33,288 --> 00:18:35,966 Ellie! 416 00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:37,246 God, hurry up! 417 00:18:37,248 --> 00:18:39,926 What you doing? Jesus Chri... 418 00:18:39,928 --> 00:18:42,406 You're acting old now, David. 419 00:18:42,408 --> 00:18:43,846 - Are you mad? - What? 420 00:18:43,848 --> 00:18:44,686 It's raining. 421 00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:45,726 Yeah. 422 00:18:45,728 --> 00:18:48,526 Yeah, let's go and get coffee somewhere. Sit inside or something. 423 00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,766 David, you're acting like you're 38 now. 424 00:18:50,768 --> 00:18:52,526 Well, let's sit on a bench or something. 425 00:18:52,528 --> 00:18:54,006 Well, this is a bench. 426 00:18:54,008 --> 00:18:56,366 That's not a bench. That's a bench. There... 427 00:18:56,368 --> 00:18:57,566 I'm not climbing that. 428 00:18:57,568 --> 00:19:01,568 Come on! It's your birthday. Stop being so boring. 429 00:19:02,768 --> 00:19:04,968 There's something wrong with you, you know. 430 00:19:06,088 --> 00:19:07,168 Right. 431 00:19:08,288 --> 00:19:12,046 Don't laugh! 432 00:19:12,048 --> 00:19:13,046 Are you on now, yeah? 433 00:19:13,048 --> 00:19:14,086 Oh, yeah, I'm on. 434 00:19:14,088 --> 00:19:15,728 No! Don't, don't shake it. 435 00:19:18,648 --> 00:19:20,206 You scared me to death. 436 00:19:20,208 --> 00:19:24,208 Oh... 437 00:19:25,888 --> 00:19:27,086 Ah, that's better. 438 00:19:27,088 --> 00:19:28,886 Yeah. 439 00:19:28,888 --> 00:19:32,888 It's all right, actually. 440 00:19:33,848 --> 00:19:35,246 What are you doing? 441 00:19:35,248 --> 00:19:38,046 I'm looking. 442 00:19:38,048 --> 00:19:40,166 What you looking at? 443 00:19:40,168 --> 00:19:44,168 I don't know. It's what they do in the films, isn't it? 444 00:19:45,048 --> 00:19:48,766 I suppose. 445 00:19:48,768 --> 00:19:52,768 It's quite nice, actually. 446 00:19:53,368 --> 00:19:56,926 Happy birthday. 447 00:19:56,928 --> 00:20:00,928 Thank you! 448 00:20:07,688 --> 00:20:09,606 No, sorry. Ellie, I'm sorry. 449 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:11,926 I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry, it's just... 450 00:20:11,928 --> 00:20:13,006 I know... 451 00:20:13,008 --> 00:20:15,606 No, no, no. I've had a really good time with you, I have. I just... 452 00:20:15,608 --> 00:20:17,048 I said I know. 453 00:20:19,288 --> 00:20:23,288 Sorry, kid. 454 00:20:32,888 --> 00:20:35,086 Come on. 455 00:20:35,088 --> 00:20:36,646 Let's sort you out. 456 00:20:36,648 --> 00:20:37,486 Hey? 457 00:20:37,488 --> 00:20:41,488 Come on. 458 00:20:47,568 --> 00:20:51,568 Oh, shit, you're sexy. 459 00:20:54,008 --> 00:20:57,326 Have I come at a bad time? 460 00:20:57,328 --> 00:21:00,246 Have you come to apologise? 461 00:21:00,248 --> 00:21:02,126 So you definitely got the message then? 462 00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:03,766 No shit. Who's this? 463 00:21:03,768 --> 00:21:04,486 Ellie. 464 00:21:04,488 --> 00:21:05,886 Yeah, we've just been on a date. 465 00:21:05,888 --> 00:21:07,126 Oh, good for you. 466 00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:09,326 Well, I took him out for his birthday. 467 00:21:09,328 --> 00:21:11,246 Oh, isn't that nice! 468 00:21:11,248 --> 00:21:13,566 Yeah. 469 00:21:13,568 --> 00:21:16,806 Anyway, erm, yeah... I just thought I would put the message into context 470 00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:20,808 and, basically, tell you to your face. 471 00:21:22,608 --> 00:21:26,608 Go fuck yourself. 472 00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:31,406 That's, that's why you're here. 473 00:21:31,408 --> 00:21:32,726 Are you going to tell me 474 00:21:32,728 --> 00:21:35,246 that you don't want to be my friend any more? 475 00:21:35,248 --> 00:21:39,248 Are you going to tell me that you don't want to talk to me any more? 476 00:21:40,288 --> 00:21:42,206 No. 477 00:21:42,208 --> 00:21:44,126 I just, I just thought erm... 478 00:21:44,128 --> 00:21:47,406 I'd come here and just tell you that, you know... 479 00:21:47,408 --> 00:21:51,408 I...I... I just think... 480 00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:57,768 Fuck it. 481 00:23:04,585 --> 00:23:15,351 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 482 00:23:23,608 --> 00:23:26,326 I'm your date. 483 00:23:26,328 --> 00:23:28,246 I reckon I'm the guy for you, Erica. 484 00:23:28,248 --> 00:23:29,568 I'm gay. 485 00:23:30,847 --> 00:23:59,840 Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells http://UKsubtitles.ru. 33493

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