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1
00:00:11,701 --> 00:00:13,602
I didn't get a chance to tell you.
2
00:00:13,603 --> 00:00:16,137
- I loved your script.
- You did not.
3
00:00:16,138 --> 00:00:18,506
- So, where are you with casting?
- In hell, thanks to you.
4
00:00:18,507 --> 00:00:22,210
Now I can only hear your voice
in my head.
5
00:00:22,211 --> 00:00:23,478
Well, keep hearing it,
6
00:00:23,479 --> 00:00:24,879
'cause they're trying "Pucks"
on a new night,
7
00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:26,514
and if it doesn't work...
8
00:00:26,515 --> 00:00:29,884
We lost to something called
"Storage Wars: Texas"?
9
00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:34,322
- This is not good, people.
- We also lost to "Swamp People."
10
00:00:34,323 --> 00:00:36,458
Oh, shit.
I missed "Swamp People."
11
00:00:36,459 --> 00:00:38,026
All right, but this is
just the first week.
12
00:00:38,027 --> 00:00:40,107
They've got to give the audience
a chance to find us.
13
00:00:40,663 --> 00:00:42,631
They've got to, right?
14
00:00:51,073 --> 00:00:53,842
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
15
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,761
Wendy!
16
00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:48,697
Yeah?
17
00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:52,133
Never mind.
18
00:01:52,134 --> 00:01:53,935
- Hello?
- Hold for Carol.
19
00:01:53,936 --> 00:01:54,936
Here we go.
20
00:01:56,005 --> 00:01:57,539
- Hey, there.
- What's up?
21
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,240
Sean and Beverly's office.
22
00:01:59,241 --> 00:02:00,842
- We've got it!
- We've got it!
23
00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,677
Sorry about that.
24
00:02:02,678 --> 00:02:05,513
So, I'm sure you guys saw
the ratings...
25
00:02:05,514 --> 00:02:08,183
obviously, not everything
we were hoping for.
26
00:02:08,184 --> 00:02:09,417
Right, but you did say
27
00:02:09,418 --> 00:02:11,619
expectations were lower
on Saturdays.
28
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:13,788
But higher than this.
29
00:02:13,789 --> 00:02:15,123
Now, don't freak out.
30
00:02:15,124 --> 00:02:16,357
That's not chilling.
31
00:02:16,358 --> 00:02:18,893
We're going to pull
"Pucks" from the schedule.
32
00:02:18,894 --> 00:02:20,962
- What?
- For now.
33
00:02:20,963 --> 00:02:22,464
- After one viewing?
- I know.
34
00:02:22,465 --> 00:02:23,998
It's totally our fault.
35
00:02:23,999 --> 00:02:26,201
We never should have moved you
to Saturday.
36
00:02:26,202 --> 00:02:28,703
No one watches anything
on Saturday.
37
00:02:28,704 --> 00:02:31,506
And yet, they seem to be
watching all the other shows.
38
00:02:31,507 --> 00:02:33,508
But no comedies.
39
00:02:33,509 --> 00:02:35,977
I guess people don't want
to laugh on Saturday.
40
00:02:35,978 --> 00:02:37,345
What about "Saturday Night Live"?
41
00:02:37,346 --> 00:02:38,813
It's not always funny.
42
00:02:38,814 --> 00:02:43,418
Look, could we keep you
on Saturdays? Absolutely.
43
00:02:43,419 --> 00:02:46,654
But these episodes are too good.
44
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:50,125
We want to save them for a time
when people will see them.
45
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,726
And when would that be?
46
00:02:51,727 --> 00:02:55,396
Um, maybe in the summer.
There's a lot less competition.
47
00:02:55,397 --> 00:02:57,232
- The summer?
- The summer's great.
48
00:02:57,233 --> 00:02:59,467
Summer's like the new fall.
49
00:02:59,468 --> 00:03:02,537
There's tons of really terrific
shows now in the summer.
50
00:03:02,538 --> 00:03:03,905
So there will be competition.
51
00:03:03,906 --> 00:03:06,841
Hey, that's the problem
with over 500 channels...
52
00:03:06,842 --> 00:03:09,010
there's always some other shit on.
53
00:03:09,011 --> 00:03:11,079
But as of now, our shit is off.
54
00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:12,313
Right.
55
00:03:12,314 --> 00:03:14,315
So, in essence, we're canceled?
56
00:03:14,316 --> 00:03:16,284
Don't even go there.
57
00:03:16,285 --> 00:03:19,020
You've still got those
last three shows to shoot.
58
00:03:19,021 --> 00:03:21,990
Right.
So, they are our last three shows?
59
00:03:24,093 --> 00:03:26,058
Wow.
60
00:03:26,059 --> 00:03:28,830
I feel like I'm on the second half
of "Law & Order" here.
61
00:03:28,831 --> 00:03:29,964
"Chong! Chong!"
62
00:03:32,234 --> 00:03:33,935
That's the "Law & Order" sound.
63
00:03:33,936 --> 00:03:35,870
Mm.
64
00:03:35,871 --> 00:03:37,105
Carol says it's not canceled.
65
00:03:37,106 --> 00:03:39,409
- It's bullshit.
- Thank you.
66
00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:41,649
I'm not crazy. You heard her.
67
00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:43,739
Did she or did she not say
they'd bring us back?
68
00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:45,713
Oh, no, I'm sure they will.
By the way, did I tell you?
69
00:03:45,714 --> 00:03:47,548
My unicorn has been
shitting rainbows.
70
00:03:47,549 --> 00:03:50,795
- Then why would Carol say it?
- Because she's a liar.
71
00:03:50,796 --> 00:03:53,287
Yes, the woman is my friend,
but that doesn't stop her
72
00:03:53,288 --> 00:03:54,856
from being full of shit
on a massive level.
73
00:03:54,857 --> 00:03:56,657
She's the Michael Jordan
of liars.
74
00:03:56,658 --> 00:03:58,292
Hey, look at you
75
00:03:58,293 --> 00:04:00,495
with the dated American
sports references.
76
00:04:00,496 --> 00:04:03,264
It just doesn't make sense.
77
00:04:03,265 --> 00:04:04,565
If it's really over,
78
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:06,267
why would they spend the money
to shoot the last three?
79
00:04:06,268 --> 00:04:09,370
Hey, we shot like eight episodes
of "Joey" they burned off.
80
00:04:09,371 --> 00:04:11,005
They hate pulling the trigger...
I'm telling you.
81
00:04:11,006 --> 00:04:13,241
Even though no one's willing
to put a tag on the toe,
82
00:04:13,242 --> 00:04:15,643
this thing is dead.
83
00:04:18,247 --> 00:04:19,514
Is he there?
84
00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:21,115
Matt LeBlanc.
85
00:04:21,116 --> 00:04:22,550
Hey, buddy. What's up?
86
00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:25,053
Guess what... They're pulling
"Pucks" from the schedule.
87
00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:26,554
Yeah, I heard.
88
00:04:26,555 --> 00:04:28,756
So, problem solved...
89
00:04:28,757 --> 00:04:31,726
now I can do the NBC thing.
90
00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:33,461
What?
91
00:04:34,763 --> 00:04:36,831
They cast it yesterday.
92
00:04:36,832 --> 00:04:39,233
Are you shitting me?
Yesterday?
93
00:04:39,234 --> 00:04:41,469
Who got it?
94
00:04:47,643 --> 00:04:51,079
Hey, you guys ever heard of some
British actor Anthony Powner Smith?
95
00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:53,381
Oh, sure. He's amazing.
96
00:04:53,382 --> 00:04:55,783
I saw him do Henry V
in the West End.
97
00:04:55,784 --> 00:04:57,018
He played all the parts.
98
00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:58,453
No sets, no props...
99
00:04:58,454 --> 00:05:02,090
just him, a bucket,
and a birdcage... genius.
100
00:05:02,091 --> 00:05:03,724
What about him?
101
00:05:03,725 --> 00:05:07,028
That asshole took my part
in Andrew Lesley's pilot.
102
00:05:07,029 --> 00:05:10,932
- Bloody hell.
- Thank you.
103
00:05:10,933 --> 00:05:14,102
Andrew Lesley gets to work
with Anthony Powner Smith.
104
00:05:14,103 --> 00:05:16,063
Is that my point?
I don't think that was my point.
105
00:05:16,638 --> 00:05:19,707
I am so sick
of these British fucks
106
00:05:19,708 --> 00:05:22,110
coming over here
and stealing our parts.
107
00:05:22,111 --> 00:05:25,079
How is that even legal, huh?
108
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,281
It should be like,
"Okay, you act in your country",
109
00:05:27,282 --> 00:05:28,316
and we'll act in ours."
110
00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:30,318
But, no, they sneak in here
111
00:05:30,319 --> 00:05:32,753
with their perfect
American accents
112
00:05:32,754 --> 00:05:35,456
like some fucking magic trick,
you know?
113
00:05:35,457 --> 00:05:37,325
And no one even knows
till it's too late.
114
00:05:37,326 --> 00:05:39,293
Then, suddenly, you see them
on a talk show,
115
00:05:39,294 --> 00:05:41,395
and it's like, "Holy shit.
That guy's English?!"
116
00:05:41,396 --> 00:05:43,764
They're on our TV shows.
They're in our movies.
117
00:05:43,765 --> 00:05:45,233
There... there...
there should be
118
00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:46,767
congressional hearings
or something.
119
00:05:46,768 --> 00:05:48,569
Fucking British people!
Stay the fuck home!
120
00:05:48,570 --> 00:05:49,770
No offense!
121
00:05:58,847 --> 00:06:02,016
I don't remember ever wanting
a part this bad.
122
00:06:02,017 --> 00:06:05,453
I'm sorry. It sucks.
123
00:06:05,454 --> 00:06:07,622
I could have been so good.
124
00:06:07,623 --> 00:06:09,423
Well, I know it doesn't help,
125
00:06:09,424 --> 00:06:12,226
but there will be other parts.
126
00:06:12,227 --> 00:06:13,427
Not like this.
127
00:06:13,428 --> 00:06:16,264
You know the shit that's out there?
128
00:06:16,265 --> 00:06:19,600
CBS is offering me a show
called "Fucked at Forty."
129
00:06:19,601 --> 00:06:21,102
They can say "fucked"?
130
00:06:21,103 --> 00:06:23,905
Well, it's got hash symbols
and asterisks and stuff,
131
00:06:23,906 --> 00:06:25,206
although, if I take it,
132
00:06:25,207 --> 00:06:27,642
they'll probably change
the title to "Matt,"
133
00:06:27,643 --> 00:06:31,112
'cause everyone knows "Matt"
actually means "fucked at forty."
134
00:06:33,982 --> 00:06:36,751
You know, I don't have to go
to this conference tomorrow.
135
00:06:36,752 --> 00:06:38,853
- I could cancel.
- No, no, no, no.
136
00:06:38,854 --> 00:06:41,556
I'll still feel like shit,
no matter what.
137
00:06:41,557 --> 00:06:44,192
Why should your refugees
have to suffer?
138
00:06:56,972 --> 00:07:00,575
- Oh, Christ.
- What?
139
00:07:00,576 --> 00:07:05,279
This ABC pilot won't see me
'cause I was on this piece of shit.
140
00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:06,614
Fucking "Pucks."
141
00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:08,482
Dude, chill.
142
00:07:08,483 --> 00:07:09,951
What? You're not freaking out?
143
00:07:09,952 --> 00:07:11,852
No. I'll get something.
144
00:07:11,853 --> 00:07:14,188
I've actually been reading
for a bunch of stuff.
145
00:07:14,189 --> 00:07:16,457
Seriously?
They're letting you come in?
146
00:07:16,458 --> 00:07:17,458
Yeah.
147
00:07:23,298 --> 00:07:25,533
Anything I'd be good for,
or just black stuff?
148
00:07:25,534 --> 00:07:26,634
What?
149
00:07:26,635 --> 00:07:29,704
Is that racist?
H-how is that racist?
150
00:07:32,774 --> 00:07:34,175
Does this
George Clooney joke work?
151
00:07:34,176 --> 00:07:38,212
If its ultimate goal is
to make people laugh, then, no.
152
00:07:38,213 --> 00:07:39,981
- Got anything better?
- Nope.
153
00:07:41,850 --> 00:07:43,618
- Shall we try?
- Nope.
154
00:07:43,619 --> 00:07:45,486
I see.
155
00:07:45,487 --> 00:07:47,154
I'm sorry.
156
00:07:47,155 --> 00:07:49,490
No one's ever gonna see
these shows. Who cares?
157
00:07:49,491 --> 00:07:53,561
I care, your partner... me.
158
00:07:53,562 --> 00:07:56,430
If there's even a ghost of a chance
that one of them actually gets on,
159
00:07:56,431 --> 00:07:58,399
then I want to make sure
it's not a stinking turd.
160
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:01,469
Darling, if no one is there
to smell it...
161
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:02,837
And your plan is to, what,
162
00:08:02,838 --> 00:08:06,173
just... knit your way through it?
163
00:08:06,174 --> 00:08:08,342
Long after this show
is forgotten,
164
00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:10,378
there will still be this scarf.
165
00:08:10,379 --> 00:08:13,648
If you guys got a sec, I want
you to meet my little sister.
166
00:08:13,649 --> 00:08:14,915
- Oh, hello.
- Hey.
167
00:08:14,916 --> 00:08:16,050
She's visiting from New York.
168
00:08:16,051 --> 00:08:18,226
Dawn, these are my bosses,
Sean and Beverly.
169
00:08:18,227 --> 00:08:19,854
- Sean and Beverly, Dawn.
- Hi.
170
00:08:19,855 --> 00:08:21,255
Morning and Dawn...
171
00:08:21,256 --> 00:08:24,091
clearly, your parents had
a whole range of idea.
172
00:08:25,093 --> 00:08:26,894
I'm guessing you're an actress, too.
173
00:08:26,895 --> 00:08:28,596
- No, thank God.
- Oh, God, no.
174
00:08:28,597 --> 00:08:31,457
- She's a designer.
- Graphic design.
175
00:08:31,458 --> 00:08:33,052
That's still a designer.
176
00:08:33,053 --> 00:08:34,668
Oh, I almost went
into graphic design.
177
00:08:34,669 --> 00:08:37,504
I loved to draw. Had my markers.
178
00:08:37,505 --> 00:08:40,607
I did all the posters for the plays.
179
00:08:40,608 --> 00:08:43,010
Yeah, yeah.
We do everything on computers.
180
00:08:43,011 --> 00:08:44,244
It's all digital now.
181
00:08:44,245 --> 00:08:45,913
Yeah, right.
182
00:08:45,914 --> 00:08:47,714
I almost forgot... I'm old.
183
00:08:49,384 --> 00:08:50,684
Do you knit?
184
00:08:55,857 --> 00:08:58,625
Hey. Who's that?
185
00:08:58,626 --> 00:09:00,928
Uh, Morning's little sister,
Dawn.
186
00:09:00,929 --> 00:09:02,162
Wow.
187
00:09:03,932 --> 00:09:06,366
Boy, there's a "crack of dawn"
joke there somewhere.
188
00:09:06,367 --> 00:09:08,535
Well, if anyone can find it...
189
00:09:11,105 --> 00:09:13,807
Found it.
190
00:09:21,382 --> 00:09:23,817
Uh, we have a problem.
191
00:09:23,818 --> 00:09:25,953
- Then you want Sean.
- Thank you.
192
00:09:25,954 --> 00:09:27,254
We don't have Stoke.
193
00:09:27,255 --> 00:09:29,056
Well, then,
someone should get him.
194
00:09:29,057 --> 00:09:31,925
No, I-I mean,
we don't have Stoke, period.
195
00:09:31,926 --> 00:09:33,894
He left.
196
00:09:33,895 --> 00:09:36,463
What, the building?
The planet?
197
00:09:36,464 --> 00:09:37,698
The show.
198
00:09:37,699 --> 00:09:39,833
What... what are you saying?
He quit?
199
00:09:39,834 --> 00:09:41,468
We just got a call from his manager.
200
00:09:41,469 --> 00:09:43,303
He's... he's got reshoots
on that Michael Bay thing,
201
00:09:43,304 --> 00:09:45,005
and since we're
pretty much canceled...
202
00:09:45,006 --> 00:09:47,140
We're not canceled.
203
00:09:47,141 --> 00:09:49,509
Right. Well, he says we are.
204
00:09:49,510 --> 00:09:51,712
That's insane. We're about
to shoot a scene with him.
205
00:09:52,513 --> 00:09:54,248
Get me the manager.
206
00:09:56,784 --> 00:09:58,151
Is he there?
207
00:09:58,152 --> 00:10:01,755
I've got Sean Lincoln from "Pucks."
208
00:10:01,756 --> 00:10:03,457
Yeah. Hang on.
209
00:10:03,458 --> 00:10:05,893
Yeah. Hello.
210
00:10:05,894 --> 00:10:08,962
Uh, not so good, actually.
We just heard about Stoke.
211
00:10:08,963 --> 00:10:11,131
Um, what the fuck?
212
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:15,669
No, that is
absolutely unacceptable.
213
00:10:15,670 --> 00:10:18,972
He's supposed to be here,
shooting a scene right now.
214
00:10:18,973 --> 00:10:21,408
Oh, please,
it's a Michael Bay movie.
215
00:10:21,409 --> 00:10:24,077
His part could be played
by a can opener.
216
00:10:24,078 --> 00:10:27,915
Oh, believe me...
we will sue you.
217
00:10:27,916 --> 00:10:29,316
Oh, yes, we will.
218
00:10:29,317 --> 00:10:32,619
Yes, we will.
Yes, we will.
219
00:10:35,023 --> 00:10:37,291
Where are...
where are the other boys?
220
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:39,426
- Guys?
- Do you believe this?
221
00:10:39,427 --> 00:10:40,961
Yes, I do.
222
00:10:43,197 --> 00:10:46,333
Did... did you guys know
that Stoke had left the show?
223
00:10:46,334 --> 00:10:49,603
Uh... Kind of.
224
00:10:49,604 --> 00:10:51,138
We thought you knew.
225
00:10:51,139 --> 00:10:54,007
Uh, no.
So, what are we supposed to do?
226
00:10:54,008 --> 00:10:56,827
- We could just split up his lines.
- What?
227
00:10:56,828 --> 00:10:59,947
You know, just divide
his stuff between us.
228
00:10:59,948 --> 00:11:03,850
No! It... it wouldn't make
any sense.
229
00:11:03,851 --> 00:11:06,453
Do you think we just write lines
230
00:11:06,454 --> 00:11:09,556
that anyone can say,
that it's that random?
231
00:11:09,557 --> 00:11:12,225
No, his lines are in his voice,
232
00:11:12,226 --> 00:11:14,428
and your lines are... it... it...
233
00:11:14,429 --> 00:11:17,064
there's an internal logic to...
we can't!
234
00:11:17,065 --> 00:11:21,001
It's... it just... it...
235
00:11:25,673 --> 00:11:29,476
You know what?
236
00:11:29,477 --> 00:11:30,477
Do it.
237
00:11:30,478 --> 00:11:31,511
Really?
238
00:11:31,512 --> 00:11:33,680
Yeah, split 'em up.
It'll be fine.
239
00:11:33,681 --> 00:11:35,615
Wow.
240
00:11:35,616 --> 00:11:37,184
So, uh,
w-who should say what?
241
00:11:37,185 --> 00:11:38,785
Doesn't matter. Your call.
242
00:11:38,786 --> 00:11:41,521
Holy shit.
Can we add some stuff?
243
00:11:41,522 --> 00:11:42,856
Absolutely. Add away.
244
00:11:42,857 --> 00:11:45,425
Yeah!
245
00:11:51,299 --> 00:11:53,333
Wool?
246
00:11:57,472 --> 00:12:00,040
Uh, you might want to steer
clear of the brownies.
247
00:12:00,041 --> 00:12:02,843
They've been here
since the first table read.
248
00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:04,011
Yikes.
249
00:12:04,012 --> 00:12:05,679
Probably growing
other brownies by now.
250
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,115
Yeah. Good to know.
251
00:12:08,116 --> 00:12:11,651
Oh, also, the crew...
not so much with the hygiene.
252
00:12:11,652 --> 00:12:13,353
I'd stick to anything wrapped.
253
00:12:13,354 --> 00:12:14,888
Okay.
254
00:12:16,124 --> 00:12:17,891
I'm Morning's sister Dawn,
by the way.
255
00:12:17,892 --> 00:12:19,926
Hey. I'm Matt.
256
00:12:19,927 --> 00:12:22,963
No kidding.
Like someone wouldn't know that.
257
00:12:27,335 --> 00:12:28,935
What?
258
00:12:31,039 --> 00:12:33,073
I'm sorry.
259
00:12:33,074 --> 00:12:35,675
God, it's not like I've
never met anyone famous.
260
00:12:35,676 --> 00:12:37,711
It's just... it's Joey.
261
00:12:37,712 --> 00:12:39,579
Right.
262
00:12:39,580 --> 00:12:41,681
When I was a kid, I was
totally obsessed with you.
263
00:12:41,682 --> 00:12:43,163
Really?
264
00:12:43,164 --> 00:12:44,514
Just between us,
265
00:12:44,515 --> 00:12:47,087
the only reason why I came today
was to meet you.
266
00:12:47,088 --> 00:12:50,957
Don't tell certain other people
I said that.
267
00:12:53,027 --> 00:12:55,462
Ah, not to worry.
268
00:12:55,463 --> 00:12:59,066
Meeting you is kind of like
an early birthday present to myself.
269
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:01,368
Ah, well, happy birthday.
270
00:13:01,369 --> 00:13:02,569
- When is it?
- Thursday.
271
00:13:02,570 --> 00:13:04,104
Oh. How old are you gonna be?
272
00:13:04,105 --> 00:13:06,406
19.
273
00:13:09,377 --> 00:13:10,377
Say it.
274
00:13:10,378 --> 00:13:11,845
Nah, come on.
275
00:13:11,846 --> 00:13:14,681
Yes, say it.
Come on, please.
276
00:13:14,682 --> 00:13:16,450
- Seriously?
- Yes.
277
00:13:16,451 --> 00:13:18,051
Say it right when I'm coming.
278
00:13:18,052 --> 00:13:19,453
No.
279
00:13:19,454 --> 00:13:21,421
Yes! Come on!
280
00:13:21,422 --> 00:13:22,589
Not gonna happen.
281
00:13:22,590 --> 00:13:25,258
Say it. Come on, I'm really close.
282
00:13:25,259 --> 00:13:26,893
- Forget it.
- Say it!
283
00:13:26,894 --> 00:13:30,363
Say it now! Now! Now!
284
00:13:30,364 --> 00:13:32,365
How you doin'?
285
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:47,414
See? Isn't this better...
Not giving a shit?
286
00:13:47,415 --> 00:13:48,748
Might take some getting used to.
287
00:13:48,749 --> 00:13:51,785
That's what the wine is for.
288
00:13:51,786 --> 00:13:55,288
You know, we're gonna be fine.
289
00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:56,790
I know.
290
00:13:56,791 --> 00:13:59,326
We'll go home.
We'll come up with new shows.
291
00:13:59,327 --> 00:14:00,927
You could make the posters.
292
00:14:00,928 --> 00:14:02,329
Exactly.
293
00:14:02,330 --> 00:14:05,098
Oh, I just wish it hadn't been
such a fucking disaster.
294
00:14:05,099 --> 00:14:06,833
It wasn't a...
295
00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:08,702
Yeah.
296
00:14:08,703 --> 00:14:10,237
Yeah, right.
Yeah, no, you're right.
297
00:14:11,405 --> 00:14:15,142
I mean, going home now,
seeing everyone,
298
00:14:15,143 --> 00:14:17,010
especially after the way we left...
299
00:14:17,011 --> 00:14:19,913
"Off to Hollywood!
See you, suckers!"
300
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:22,582
- Kind of regretting that mass e-mail?
- Little bit.
301
00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:24,584
You know, we don't have
to go straight home.
302
00:14:24,585 --> 00:14:26,486
- We do not.
- We could travel around a bit.
303
00:14:26,487 --> 00:14:28,522
Absolutely.
"The Traveling Failures."
304
00:14:28,523 --> 00:14:30,991
Well, we don't need a banner.
305
00:14:33,161 --> 00:14:35,695
God, this is so weird.
306
00:14:35,696 --> 00:14:39,766
I remember watching you
when I was like 7...
307
00:14:39,767 --> 00:14:42,936
And now I'm laying here
with your dick in my hand.
308
00:14:42,937 --> 00:14:45,805
Yeah, life's funny.
309
00:14:45,806 --> 00:14:47,674
By the way, a little grippy.
310
00:14:47,675 --> 00:14:50,277
- Better?
- Yeah.
311
00:14:50,278 --> 00:14:52,779
Actually, I should be
getting back to the stage.
312
00:14:52,780 --> 00:14:53,880
Oh, shit. Me too.
313
00:14:53,881 --> 00:14:56,049
My mother's probably freaking out.
314
00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:57,617
Your mother? What... what do
you mean, your mother?
315
00:14:57,618 --> 00:15:00,520
Did I say "mother"?
316
00:15:00,521 --> 00:15:03,623
Weird. I meant, um, sister.
317
00:15:03,624 --> 00:15:06,560
- Well, I'm totally confused.
- Yeah, just forget it.
318
00:15:06,561 --> 00:15:07,661
It's so stupid.
319
00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:09,529
What?
320
00:15:09,530 --> 00:15:12,699
Okay, but you have to swear
that you won't tell anybody ever.
321
00:15:12,700 --> 00:15:14,501
All right. I won't tell anybody.
322
00:15:14,502 --> 00:15:18,038
- Swear.
- Fine. I swear. What?
323
00:15:18,039 --> 00:15:19,839
She just tells people
she's my sister.
324
00:15:19,840 --> 00:15:21,608
- Who?
- My nutjob mother.
325
00:15:21,609 --> 00:15:24,411
She's afraid people will figure out
she's like a kajillion years old.
326
00:15:24,412 --> 00:15:25,545
It's really lame.
327
00:15:25,546 --> 00:15:28,682
W-w-wait a minute.
Morning's not your sister?
328
00:15:28,683 --> 00:15:30,784
Yeah.
329
00:15:30,785 --> 00:15:32,319
She's your mother?
330
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:34,888
Uh-huh.
331
00:15:34,889 --> 00:15:37,424
Definitely let go of my dick.
332
00:15:42,863 --> 00:15:45,498
We should probably get
back to work.
333
00:15:45,499 --> 00:15:48,101
Ohh, do we have to?
This is so nice.
334
00:15:48,102 --> 00:15:49,636
Oh, come on, now.
335
00:15:49,637 --> 00:15:51,905
Those deck chairs aren't gonna
rearrange themselves.
336
00:15:52,940 --> 00:15:55,342
I am so, so sorry to bother you.
337
00:15:55,343 --> 00:15:58,245
You're Sean and Beverly Lincoln,
right?
338
00:15:58,246 --> 00:15:59,713
Maybe.
339
00:15:59,714 --> 00:16:02,349
Eileen Jaffee.
I'm an agent at WME.
340
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:05,385
And I could not leave
without telling you
341
00:16:05,386 --> 00:16:07,921
I'm such a huge fan of your work.
342
00:16:07,922 --> 00:16:10,557
In that case, we are definitely
Sean and Beverly Lincoln.
343
00:16:10,558 --> 00:16:13,760
Oh, my God!
I just love your writing.
344
00:16:13,761 --> 00:16:16,663
- Really?
- Don't sound so surprised.
345
00:16:16,664 --> 00:16:20,600
Well, we're not used to getting
a lot of praise for "Pucks."
346
00:16:20,601 --> 00:16:23,536
Oh. No, not "Pucks."
347
00:16:23,537 --> 00:16:24,537
"Lyman's Boys."
348
00:16:24,538 --> 00:16:26,273
- Really?
- How nice. Thank you.
349
00:16:26,274 --> 00:16:28,842
I ran our London office
for 18 months,
350
00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,311
and it was the only thing
I watched.
351
00:16:31,312 --> 00:16:34,080
Saturday nights,
I didn't even make plans.
352
00:16:34,081 --> 00:16:36,883
Of course,
I was also just divorced
353
00:16:36,884 --> 00:16:37,917
and had no life,
354
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:42,322
but, still, I loved, loved,
355
00:16:42,323 --> 00:16:43,923
loved your show.
356
00:16:43,924 --> 00:16:45,759
Oh, I think I love, love you.
357
00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:50,230
It's so awful what they made you
to do it here.
358
00:16:50,231 --> 00:16:52,098
That can't have been fun.
359
00:16:52,099 --> 00:16:54,701
It's a wonder we can sit at all.
360
00:16:56,070 --> 00:16:59,339
You also had a script that
was going around back then.
361
00:16:59,340 --> 00:17:02,475
- It's all anyone talked about.
- Really? Which one?
362
00:17:02,476 --> 00:17:04,844
Uh, I want to say
"The Opposite of Us."
363
00:17:04,845 --> 00:17:06,346
You remember the title?
364
00:17:06,347 --> 00:17:08,581
Are you kidding?
I can still quote lines from it.
365
00:17:08,582 --> 00:17:10,417
- Please do.
- Please don't.
366
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:14,988
Whatever happened with that?
367
00:17:14,989 --> 00:17:16,890
Mm. Nothing.
368
00:17:16,891 --> 00:17:18,124
Seriously?
369
00:17:18,125 --> 00:17:21,094
Oh, we have idiots
on our side of the pond, too.
370
00:17:21,095 --> 00:17:24,030
God. I'd love to read it again.
371
00:17:24,031 --> 00:17:25,832
You don't have a copy, do you?
372
00:17:25,833 --> 00:17:28,735
Uh, uh... That's very sweet,
373
00:17:28,736 --> 00:17:29,936
but just so you know,
374
00:17:29,937 --> 00:17:31,571
we're not looking to do
another show here.
375
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,540
Oh, God. No, no, no.
376
00:17:33,541 --> 00:17:36,176
Just for me, purely selfish.
377
00:17:36,177 --> 00:17:37,944
I could e-mail it to you.
378
00:17:37,945 --> 00:17:40,980
I would love that.
What a treat!
379
00:17:40,981 --> 00:17:44,417
So, bottle of wine at lunch...
what are we celebrating?
380
00:17:45,653 --> 00:17:47,554
We're not supposed to say,
381
00:17:47,555 --> 00:17:51,024
but, um, they pulled our show
from the schedule.
382
00:17:51,025 --> 00:17:53,593
Yeah. I heard last week.
383
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,328
Really? They just told us.
384
00:17:55,329 --> 00:17:56,663
I heard that, too.
385
00:18:01,902 --> 00:18:04,371
Hey, Nina, have you seen
my little sister?
386
00:18:04,372 --> 00:18:05,772
Sorry, no.
387
00:18:07,174 --> 00:18:09,476
Do you know who was
Truman's vice president...
388
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:10,510
seven letters?
389
00:18:10,511 --> 00:18:13,580
Jesus. How fucking old
do you think I am?
390
00:18:14,849 --> 00:18:16,349
Barkley.
391
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:17,817
Thank you.
392
00:18:19,053 --> 00:18:20,387
Holy shit.
393
00:18:23,057 --> 00:18:25,792
Yeah, that's not what you want.
394
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:29,529
So, you two met.
That's not terrifying at all.
395
00:18:29,530 --> 00:18:31,798
It's none of your business, sis.
396
00:18:31,799 --> 00:18:32,866
Where have you been?
397
00:18:32,867 --> 00:18:34,134
- Nowhere.
- Nowhere?
398
00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:38,104
- How was that?
- Relax. We just went for a ride.
399
00:18:38,105 --> 00:18:39,239
Oh. Where?
400
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,241
I don't know. Around.
401
00:18:41,242 --> 00:18:43,076
You went for a ride around.
402
00:18:43,077 --> 00:18:44,477
Mm-hmm.
403
00:18:44,478 --> 00:18:46,079
Did you happen
to take Bullshit Street
404
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,047
or Are You Fucking Kidding Me
Avenue?!
405
00:18:48,048 --> 00:18:50,884
Right. We need to talk.
406
00:18:50,885 --> 00:18:53,720
Okay. See you guys later.
407
00:18:53,721 --> 00:18:54,821
No, you.
408
00:18:55,556 --> 00:18:57,123
You... go inside.
409
00:18:58,859 --> 00:19:00,860
Did you just roll your eyes at me?
410
00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:06,533
At least I can roll my eyes.
411
00:19:06,534 --> 00:19:07,667
All right, look...
412
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,402
- Did you fuck my sister?
- No.
413
00:19:09,403 --> 00:19:10,937
You are such a liar.
414
00:19:10,938 --> 00:19:16,009
I swear,
I did not fuck your sister.
415
00:19:16,010 --> 00:19:18,411
Oh, my God.
416
00:19:18,412 --> 00:19:20,613
- What?
- She told you?
417
00:19:20,614 --> 00:19:21,714
Kind of.
418
00:19:21,715 --> 00:19:23,349
And you still fucked her?
419
00:19:23,350 --> 00:19:25,885
No, no, no. I fucked her when
I thought she was your sister.
420
00:19:25,886 --> 00:19:27,187
Still not okay!
421
00:19:27,188 --> 00:19:29,122
But better than your daughter,
you got to admit.
422
00:19:29,123 --> 00:19:32,258
Look, it was a one-time thing.
It meant nothing.
423
00:19:32,259 --> 00:19:35,094
What mother doesn't want
to hear that?
424
00:19:35,095 --> 00:19:37,263
Hey, you know,
it's not like she's 16.
425
00:19:37,264 --> 00:19:38,398
Right?
426
00:19:38,399 --> 00:19:40,767
So, okay, she's an adult.
427
00:19:40,768 --> 00:19:42,902
She's able to make
her own decisions.
428
00:19:42,903 --> 00:19:44,771
She is still my kid.
429
00:19:44,772 --> 00:19:46,172
I get that.
430
00:19:46,173 --> 00:19:47,907
Look, the minute I found out,
that was it... done, over.
431
00:19:47,908 --> 00:19:49,776
I promise.
I'm not gonna see her again.
432
00:19:49,777 --> 00:19:51,077
I'm not even gonna call her.
433
00:19:51,078 --> 00:19:53,146
So, basically, you're gonna
treat her like shit.
434
00:19:53,147 --> 00:19:54,747
Look, tell me
what you want, huh?
435
00:19:54,748 --> 00:19:56,916
Want me to fuck her again?
I'll fuck her again.
436
00:19:56,917 --> 00:19:58,651
Totally your call, mom.
437
00:19:58,652 --> 00:20:00,753
Hello.
438
00:20:00,754 --> 00:20:02,355
- Hey.
- Hi.
439
00:20:02,356 --> 00:20:05,191
- What's going on?
- Nothing.
440
00:20:05,192 --> 00:20:07,227
Nothing to you, asshole.
441
00:20:07,228 --> 00:20:10,096
She doesn't deserve this.
She's not even in the business.
442
00:20:15,402 --> 00:20:18,386
I, uh... I kind of had
443
00:20:18,387 --> 00:20:20,943
- a little lunch thing with her daughter.
- What?
444
00:20:20,944 --> 00:20:22,175
Wait. You said "daughter."
You mean "sister."
445
00:20:22,176 --> 00:20:24,210
Nope, daughter.
446
00:20:24,211 --> 00:20:26,212
- Not sister?
- Daughter.
447
00:20:26,213 --> 00:20:28,348
"Sister, daughter.
Sister, daughter.
448
00:20:28,349 --> 00:20:31,417
- She's my sister and..."
- I'm begging you.
449
00:20:31,418 --> 00:20:33,987
- So that girl she said was her sister...
- Isn't.
450
00:20:33,988 --> 00:20:36,656
- And that's who you...
- Yeah.
451
00:20:36,657 --> 00:20:38,291
Jesus! You slept
with Morning's daughter?
452
00:20:38,292 --> 00:20:40,994
Hey, hey, don't look at me.
She slept with her brother.
453
00:20:40,995 --> 00:20:42,295
- This is true.
- Excuse me.
454
00:20:42,296 --> 00:20:45,398
- As I recall, you had the woman herself.
- Also true.
455
00:20:45,399 --> 00:20:48,468
Man, we are just plowing
through that family.
456
00:20:53,507 --> 00:20:54,674
What?
457
00:21:09,123 --> 00:21:10,857
Wendy?
458
00:21:13,227 --> 00:21:14,527
You there?
459
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:17,597
No?
460
00:21:19,433 --> 00:21:23,169
Wendy?
461
00:21:23,170 --> 00:21:27,422
Wendy...
You incompetent cunt?
462
00:21:27,423 --> 00:21:29,309
Sean and Beverly's office.
463
00:21:29,310 --> 00:21:30,810
Oh, Jesus.
464
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,179
Eileen Jaffee on one.
465
00:21:33,180 --> 00:21:36,583
Thank you so much.
Well done.
466
00:21:36,584 --> 00:21:37,750
Hello?
467
00:21:37,751 --> 00:21:40,019
Sean, it's Eileen.
468
00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:41,187
Oh, did you get the script?
469
00:21:41,188 --> 00:21:43,923
Oh, my God. It's even better
than I remembered.
470
00:21:43,924 --> 00:21:45,692
Oh, thank you.
471
00:21:45,693 --> 00:21:47,727
Bev's down on stage,
but I'll definitely tell her.
472
00:21:47,728 --> 00:21:48,761
Please do.
473
00:21:48,762 --> 00:21:51,764
Also, don't be mad at me.
474
00:21:51,765 --> 00:21:53,032
All right.
475
00:21:53,033 --> 00:21:55,868
I was just at a meeting
with Kim Sally over at FOX.
476
00:21:55,869 --> 00:21:56,903
Have you met Kim?
477
00:21:56,904 --> 00:21:58,738
- No.
- You'd love her.
478
00:21:58,739 --> 00:22:01,808
Anyway, she was bitching
about all the crap she's been reading,
479
00:22:01,809 --> 00:22:03,943
and she asked if I've read
anything I liked.
480
00:22:03,944 --> 00:22:07,880
So, I told her the only thing
I liked she can't have.
481
00:22:07,881 --> 00:22:11,317
Well, of course,
now she has to see it.
482
00:22:11,318 --> 00:22:13,286
Do you mind if I show it to her?
483
00:22:14,021 --> 00:22:17,490
Well...
484
00:22:17,491 --> 00:22:19,192
As we told you,
485
00:22:19,193 --> 00:22:23,896
we're not interested
in pursuing anything new.
486
00:22:23,897 --> 00:22:26,265
Absolutely. I hear you.
487
00:22:26,266 --> 00:22:27,800
I'll make it very clear,
488
00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:30,536
even if she loves it,
she can't have it.
489
00:22:30,537 --> 00:22:34,474
Um, all right.
I can't see the harm.
490
00:22:34,475 --> 00:22:36,576
Do you need to clear it
with Beverly first?
491
00:22:36,577 --> 00:22:38,511
No, no.
492
00:22:38,512 --> 00:22:41,047
Um, not if we're all
on the same page
493
00:22:41,048 --> 00:22:42,615
that nothing can happen.
494
00:22:42,616 --> 00:22:44,150
You have my word.
495
00:22:44,151 --> 00:22:45,251
Great.
496
00:22:45,252 --> 00:22:46,886
Wonderful.
I'll let you know what she says.
497
00:22:46,887 --> 00:22:48,521
Okay.
498
00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,834
- Hello.
- Hey.
499
00:23:01,835 --> 00:23:04,570
- You haven't seen Sean, have you?
- Nope.
500
00:23:04,571 --> 00:23:07,073
Ah. Probably back at the office.
501
00:23:07,074 --> 00:23:11,044
Your sister seems lovely,
by the way.
502
00:23:12,246 --> 00:23:13,846
What?
503
00:23:13,847 --> 00:23:15,581
That asshole told you, didn't he?
504
00:23:15,582 --> 00:23:17,950
What asshole? I...
505
00:23:17,951 --> 00:23:19,318
Yes, he told us.
506
00:23:19,319 --> 00:23:20,687
I knew it.
507
00:23:20,688 --> 00:23:24,023
So she's your daughter.
That's wonderful.
508
00:23:24,024 --> 00:23:26,793
Yeah, on days like today,
it's fucking joyous.
509
00:23:26,794 --> 00:23:28,795
- Want one?
- Oh, no, I just...
510
00:23:28,796 --> 00:23:30,797
- Your show just got canceled.
- Thank you.
511
00:23:37,438 --> 00:23:41,874
So, um, may I ask...
512
00:23:41,875 --> 00:23:45,278
When did she become your "sister"?
513
00:23:45,279 --> 00:23:46,412
Oh, right out of the cooch.
514
00:23:46,413 --> 00:23:48,014
Believe me...
that is not something
515
00:23:48,015 --> 00:23:49,048
you can switch up later.
516
00:23:49,049 --> 00:23:50,116
I would think not.
517
00:23:50,117 --> 00:23:51,984
Careerwise, it just made sense.
518
00:23:51,985 --> 00:23:52,985
I was still Kelly.
519
00:23:54,655 --> 00:23:57,056
- Kelly?
- Kelly.
520
00:23:57,057 --> 00:24:00,270
- Kelly?
- Kelly. Kelly.
521
00:24:00,271 --> 00:24:03,524
- On "Kelly Girl."
- All right.
522
00:24:03,525 --> 00:24:05,198
And no one wanted to think
of Kelly as a mom.
523
00:24:05,199 --> 00:24:07,800
- No.
- I had the baby over a hiatus.
524
00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:11,204
I just told everyone that I went off
to get my tits done again.
525
00:24:11,205 --> 00:24:12,405
They totally bought it.
526
00:24:12,406 --> 00:24:15,141
Well, clearly, you'd already
laid the groundwork.
527
00:24:15,142 --> 00:24:16,476
Exactly.
528
00:24:16,477 --> 00:24:19,245
And when I came back...
hello... I had a little sister.
529
00:24:19,246 --> 00:24:21,380
Plus, obviously,
my boobs were ginormous.
530
00:24:21,381 --> 00:24:24,584
Right.
531
00:24:24,585 --> 00:24:27,286
And, uh, the father?
532
00:24:27,287 --> 00:24:30,256
Mnh. He was a one-time thing...
this actor.
533
00:24:30,257 --> 00:24:31,824
You wouldn't know him.
534
00:24:31,825 --> 00:24:34,427
He was like
a poor man's Bill Bixby.
535
00:24:34,428 --> 00:24:37,096
- Who?
- Bill Bixby.
536
00:24:38,198 --> 00:24:40,600
Bill Bixby. Bill...
537
00:24:40,601 --> 00:24:42,835
- Let's not do this again.
- All right.
538
00:24:42,836 --> 00:24:46,873
So, uh, you brought her up
on your own?
539
00:24:46,874 --> 00:24:49,142
Oh, yeah, I did all the mom shit...
540
00:24:49,143 --> 00:24:50,743
made the Halloween costumes
541
00:24:50,744 --> 00:24:52,779
and never missed a soccer practice.
542
00:24:52,780 --> 00:24:55,248
- Really?
- And I worried my ass off.
543
00:24:55,249 --> 00:24:56,849
That's all you do is worry.
544
00:24:56,850 --> 00:24:59,252
You worry they'll get sick.
You worry they'll get hurt.
545
00:24:59,253 --> 00:25:00,887
You worry when they learn to drive.
546
00:25:00,888 --> 00:25:03,422
- I can't even imagine.
- Ugh.
547
00:25:03,423 --> 00:25:06,259
You know the one thing
I never worried about...
548
00:25:06,260 --> 00:25:08,594
her fucking Matt LeBlanc!
549
00:25:08,595 --> 00:25:11,597
Really? I would think that's something
all mothers should worry about.
550
00:25:18,972 --> 00:25:20,840
Hello?
551
00:25:20,841 --> 00:25:22,675
Matt?
552
00:25:24,912 --> 00:25:29,782
- Honey?
- In here.
553
00:25:29,783 --> 00:25:32,485
Hey. What are you doing back?
554
00:25:32,486 --> 00:25:35,121
I thought the conference thing
was through the weekend.
555
00:25:35,122 --> 00:25:36,155
It is.
556
00:25:36,156 --> 00:25:37,590
You just seemed so sad last night.
557
00:25:37,591 --> 00:25:39,659
I didn't want you to be
on your own.
558
00:25:39,660 --> 00:25:41,427
Oh.
559
00:25:43,263 --> 00:25:45,331
Well, I'm better now.
560
00:26:03,851 --> 00:26:08,321
What? What's...
What's the matter?
561
00:26:12,159 --> 00:26:14,460
Uh, you know, we don't have
to do this now.
562
00:26:14,461 --> 00:26:15,528
You hungry?
563
00:26:15,529 --> 00:26:17,296
I-I got a ton of Chinese
in the fridge,
564
00:26:17,297 --> 00:26:19,098
- or we could go out, or...
- Don't.
565
00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:21,300
Don't what? What am I doing?
566
00:26:21,301 --> 00:26:23,002
I know what cheating smells like.
567
00:26:23,003 --> 00:26:26,272
What? Cheating?
What... what are you... what?
568
00:26:26,273 --> 00:26:27,340
That's crazy.
569
00:26:27,341 --> 00:26:30,309
Look, I know you got
your special skills
570
00:26:30,310 --> 00:26:32,778
with your superhuman
X-Men nose,
571
00:26:32,779 --> 00:26:35,781
but you're so wrong,
way off base, way...
572
00:26:35,782 --> 00:26:38,651
Please, I don't want
to play this game.
573
00:26:38,652 --> 00:26:40,253
Well, t-this is nuts.
574
00:26:40,254 --> 00:26:42,688
You come in here
all fee-fi-fo-fumming.
575
00:26:42,689 --> 00:26:44,223
I don't know what you think
you're smelling,
576
00:26:44,224 --> 00:26:45,224
but it's... it's...
577
00:26:45,225 --> 00:26:48,494
You knew from the beginning
there were only two things I asked...
578
00:26:48,495 --> 00:26:50,897
be nice and don't cheat.
579
00:26:50,898 --> 00:26:53,633
I was nice!
580
00:26:53,634 --> 00:26:54,734
I'm going.
581
00:26:54,735 --> 00:26:56,269
Okay, okay. I fucked up.
582
00:26:56,270 --> 00:26:58,004
You know how depressed I was.
583
00:26:58,005 --> 00:27:00,740
So you eat a cheesecake.
You don't drive us off a cliff!
584
00:27:00,741 --> 00:27:03,643
I know. I'm sorry.
It was stupid.
585
00:27:03,644 --> 00:27:05,044
Okay, this... this girl...
586
00:27:05,045 --> 00:27:07,413
I swear, she meant
nothing... nothing.
587
00:27:07,414 --> 00:27:08,481
I met her today.
588
00:27:08,482 --> 00:27:09,682
It's amazing.
589
00:27:09,683 --> 00:27:11,517
How do you not know
that you're making things worse?
590
00:27:13,053 --> 00:27:14,387
Hang on. Don't do this.
591
00:27:14,388 --> 00:27:15,955
- Stop.
- Come on.
592
00:27:15,956 --> 00:27:17,089
No. No more.
593
00:27:17,090 --> 00:27:19,392
- Hey.
- No, stay.
594
00:27:19,393 --> 00:27:21,727
I'm done.
595
00:27:21,728 --> 00:27:23,062
What?
596
00:27:36,777 --> 00:27:38,511
Oh, yeah.
597
00:27:41,835 --> 00:27:45,629
Sync and corrected by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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