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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,921 --> 00:00:14,790 If we're having a problem fornicationally, 2 00:00:14,791 --> 00:00:16,525 then we should discuss it. 3 00:00:16,526 --> 00:00:17,993 We've got to get over this. 4 00:00:17,994 --> 00:00:20,462 Yes, well, it's a lot easier for you to get over it. 5 00:00:20,463 --> 00:00:21,496 I've got to get... up 6 00:00:21,497 --> 00:00:23,365 and over it, if you know what I mean. 7 00:00:23,366 --> 00:00:25,701 I hate my dick. 8 00:00:25,702 --> 00:00:27,135 Why aren't you doing my pilot? 9 00:00:27,136 --> 00:00:29,738 You'd be so right for it. 10 00:00:29,739 --> 00:00:31,873 - Maybe just give it a read. - No, that's okay. 11 00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:33,308 What are you reading? 12 00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:35,210 That asshole's script. 13 00:00:35,211 --> 00:00:36,945 It's fucking brilliant. 14 00:00:36,946 --> 00:00:38,547 Oh, the bloody nerve. 15 00:00:38,548 --> 00:00:39,915 Trying to poach you from us? 16 00:00:39,916 --> 00:00:42,317 And that you would even consider... 17 00:00:42,318 --> 00:00:43,819 Little shit weasel. 18 00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:45,887 How are the new meds working out? 19 00:00:45,888 --> 00:00:47,055 Everything makes me hard. 20 00:00:47,056 --> 00:00:48,724 This morning when I was getting gas, 21 00:00:48,725 --> 00:00:50,792 I got a boner putting the nozzle into the tank. 22 00:00:50,793 --> 00:00:53,495 I never cry at work. 23 00:00:53,496 --> 00:00:54,863 Well, I'd hug you, 24 00:00:54,864 --> 00:00:56,398 but obviously, I'm all sweaty and... 25 00:00:56,399 --> 00:00:57,999 I don't mind. 26 00:01:06,743 --> 00:01:09,544 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 27 00:01:55,758 --> 00:01:58,192 Are you sure that's what it was? 28 00:01:58,193 --> 00:02:00,795 I am telling you, he's hugging me, 29 00:02:00,796 --> 00:02:04,065 and I'm thinking, "Ooh, his arms are so hard." 30 00:02:04,066 --> 00:02:07,135 Then, all of a sudden, it's like, "Fuck his arms." 31 00:02:07,136 --> 00:02:08,636 What the hell is that?" 32 00:02:08,637 --> 00:02:10,271 Unbelievable. 33 00:02:10,272 --> 00:02:12,106 - I know! - No. 34 00:02:12,107 --> 00:02:14,575 My "unbelievable" is not a good "unbelievable." 35 00:02:14,576 --> 00:02:15,810 Oh, come on. 36 00:02:15,811 --> 00:02:19,580 Just knowing he's feeling what I'm feeling, 37 00:02:19,581 --> 00:02:23,217 and believe me, I felt what he's feeling. 38 00:02:23,218 --> 00:02:25,486 Has history taught you nothing? 39 00:02:25,487 --> 00:02:27,889 You have been down this road before. 40 00:02:27,890 --> 00:02:29,157 But with Merc. 41 00:02:29,158 --> 00:02:32,527 If I knew I could only go down the road one time, 42 00:02:32,528 --> 00:02:35,663 that's not who I would've gone down it with! 43 00:02:35,664 --> 00:02:37,465 - Look, you asked my opinion... - Did I? 44 00:02:37,466 --> 00:02:39,467 All right, I offered you my opinion. 45 00:02:39,468 --> 00:02:40,969 And I hear what you're saying, 46 00:02:40,970 --> 00:02:44,939 but then I look at Castor, 47 00:02:44,940 --> 00:02:49,310 and he's so brilliant and sexy and powerful! 48 00:02:49,311 --> 00:02:50,678 He's your boss. 49 00:02:50,679 --> 00:02:53,047 I know! He's the whole package! 50 00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:57,385 - The side effects haven't lessened at all? - No. 51 00:02:57,386 --> 00:02:59,955 Yesterday, I had to give this stupid woman 52 00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:01,356 who works for me a hug, 53 00:03:01,357 --> 00:03:03,859 and she was almost impaled on it! 54 00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:05,961 All right. We'll start cutting back on your dosage. 55 00:03:05,962 --> 00:03:08,597 Cutting back? No. Can't we just stop? 56 00:03:08,598 --> 00:03:10,365 Not with this medication. 57 00:03:10,366 --> 00:03:12,734 We have to wean you off slowly. 58 00:03:12,735 --> 00:03:15,604 Just so you know, when you said "wean," 59 00:03:15,605 --> 00:03:17,072 I got a little hard. 60 00:03:18,174 --> 00:03:20,675 You realize we're halfway up this mountain, 61 00:03:20,676 --> 00:03:22,978 all we've talked about is your boss' erection. 62 00:03:22,979 --> 00:03:24,079 Okay, fine. 63 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:26,181 Any erections you want to talk about? 64 00:03:26,182 --> 00:03:27,249 - Nope. - Really? 65 00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:31,553 - No. - You and Sean still no... 66 00:03:31,854 --> 00:03:34,088 Have you thought about seeing someone, 67 00:03:34,089 --> 00:03:36,391 like a couple's counselor or something? 68 00:03:36,392 --> 00:03:38,893 I could ask my shrink to recommend someone. 69 00:03:38,894 --> 00:03:40,728 Wait a minute. 70 00:03:40,729 --> 00:03:42,997 You have a shrink? 71 00:03:42,998 --> 00:03:45,200 Uh-huh. He's really good. 72 00:03:45,201 --> 00:03:47,035 Really? 73 00:03:49,171 --> 00:03:50,205 Hello? 74 00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:52,740 In here! 75 00:03:54,009 --> 00:03:56,544 That is the best "hello" ever. 76 00:03:57,780 --> 00:04:00,315 Don't move. I'm coming in for a kiss. 77 00:04:05,521 --> 00:04:07,689 Almost done. 78 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:10,491 No rush. 79 00:04:16,065 --> 00:04:19,234 Uh, what happened to all the paintings? 80 00:04:19,235 --> 00:04:20,702 What do you mean? 81 00:04:20,703 --> 00:04:22,770 The paintings that were hanging on the walls? 82 00:04:22,771 --> 00:04:24,539 - They're not. - Are you kidding? 83 00:04:24,540 --> 00:04:25,773 You didn't know? 84 00:04:25,774 --> 00:04:27,709 No. I didn't know. Which ones? 85 00:04:27,710 --> 00:04:30,278 Uh, the one over the fireplace. 86 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,146 The Diebenkorn's gone? 87 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,215 Assuming that's a painting, yeah. 88 00:04:34,216 --> 00:04:35,884 And the one by the door, 89 00:04:35,885 --> 00:04:37,719 and the creepy baby face is gone. 90 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:38,887 Oh, my God! 91 00:04:38,888 --> 00:04:40,822 Hang on. 92 00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:44,292 Yep, everything in here, too. 93 00:04:44,293 --> 00:04:46,794 I don't believe this. Is anything else missing? 94 00:04:46,795 --> 00:04:48,730 I don't know. Uh... 95 00:04:48,731 --> 00:04:50,565 Looks like just the paintings. 96 00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:52,800 Who else besides me has your gate code? 97 00:04:52,801 --> 00:04:56,070 Maria, my assistant, Missy. 98 00:04:56,071 --> 00:04:58,606 Ohh, Jesus. 99 00:04:58,607 --> 00:05:00,575 What? 100 00:05:00,576 --> 00:05:02,310 Oh, that motherfucker. 101 00:05:02,311 --> 00:05:04,112 He still has your code? 102 00:05:04,113 --> 00:05:05,413 Even he wouldn't do this. 103 00:05:05,414 --> 00:05:06,414 Merc? 104 00:05:06,415 --> 00:05:07,582 He'd totally do this. 105 00:05:07,583 --> 00:05:10,718 Think of all the shit he did to you when you weren't divorcing him. 106 00:05:10,719 --> 00:05:12,086 - I'm calling him. - No, don't call him. 107 00:05:12,087 --> 00:05:13,421 Oh, I'm calling him. 108 00:05:13,422 --> 00:05:14,722 Please, just let my lawyers handle it. 109 00:05:14,723 --> 00:05:18,026 No, someone's got to tell him what a giant asshole he is. 110 00:05:18,027 --> 00:05:20,728 Believe me, I've told him. Please, stay out of it. 111 00:05:20,729 --> 00:05:22,430 For me. 112 00:05:26,302 --> 00:05:28,736 Did you put your phone away? 113 00:05:28,737 --> 00:05:30,104 Yes. 114 00:05:30,105 --> 00:05:31,105 Did you? 115 00:05:31,106 --> 00:05:33,808 Yes. 116 00:05:33,809 --> 00:05:35,410 Thank you. 117 00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:47,756 What's the deal with this network press thing tonight? 118 00:05:47,757 --> 00:05:49,257 Oh, I forgot. That's tonight? 119 00:05:49,258 --> 00:05:51,826 Yeah, it's this stupid cocktail party for the TV critics. 120 00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:53,328 The networks do it every year. 121 00:05:53,329 --> 00:05:54,729 Seriously? 122 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,065 The people who wrote all the nasty things about us, 123 00:05:57,066 --> 00:05:58,733 we have to have canapes with them? 124 00:05:58,734 --> 00:06:00,335 Yeah, it's not as much fun as it sounds. 125 00:06:00,336 --> 00:06:01,803 And there's no getting out of it? 126 00:06:01,804 --> 00:06:03,238 Not unless you're on a hit show. 127 00:06:03,239 --> 00:06:05,106 So there's no getting out of it. 128 00:06:05,107 --> 00:06:07,575 There you are. Ready? 129 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:08,610 For what? 130 00:06:08,611 --> 00:06:11,046 Oh, shit. That's now? 131 00:06:11,047 --> 00:06:12,213 What's now? 132 00:06:12,214 --> 00:06:16,518 Nothing. It's a... private thing. 133 00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,852 What kind of private thing? 134 00:06:17,853 --> 00:06:21,022 Well, it's a thing, 135 00:06:21,023 --> 00:06:23,024 and it's private. 136 00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:24,693 You're really not gonna tell me? 137 00:06:24,694 --> 00:06:25,694 No. 138 00:06:26,629 --> 00:06:28,530 No. See you tonight. 139 00:06:30,533 --> 00:06:32,967 What do you think it is? 140 00:06:32,968 --> 00:06:34,803 Who gives a shit? 141 00:06:38,474 --> 00:06:40,975 So, have, uh, either of you ever been 142 00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,677 to a sex therapist before? 143 00:06:48,317 --> 00:06:51,286 W-we were under the impression that you were a couple's counselor. 144 00:06:51,287 --> 00:06:53,555 Specializing in sex therapy. 145 00:06:53,556 --> 00:06:55,223 Bloody hell. 146 00:06:55,224 --> 00:06:56,591 We were not aware. 147 00:06:56,592 --> 00:06:57,926 Thanks, Carol. 148 00:06:57,927 --> 00:07:00,929 Oh, so this isn't a sexual issue that you're here to deal with? 149 00:07:00,930 --> 00:07:02,964 Well, it is. 150 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,866 It is. 151 00:07:04,867 --> 00:07:09,537 All right, then why don't you tell me a little bit about what's going on? 152 00:07:14,910 --> 00:07:16,811 Okay. 153 00:07:16,812 --> 00:07:20,415 We have recently been through a, um... 154 00:07:20,416 --> 00:07:23,017 a bit of a rough patch in our marriage, 155 00:07:23,018 --> 00:07:26,087 which we have both worked very hard to get past. 156 00:07:26,088 --> 00:07:29,190 Unfortunately... 157 00:07:29,191 --> 00:07:32,794 it has left us with certain... 158 00:07:32,795 --> 00:07:35,296 uh, ramifications. 159 00:07:35,297 --> 00:07:36,431 Sexual? 160 00:07:36,432 --> 00:07:38,566 Sexual. Yes. 161 00:07:38,567 --> 00:07:41,809 Sexual. Sexual. 162 00:07:41,810 --> 00:07:43,138 Say it another 10 times. 163 00:07:43,139 --> 00:07:45,073 - I'm sorry, it is sexual. - Nine more. 164 00:07:45,074 --> 00:07:47,242 Sean, let me ask you a question. 165 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:49,711 Are you able to achieve an erection? 166 00:07:51,747 --> 00:07:54,015 I'd really rather not say. 167 00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:55,917 If you want me to help you... 168 00:07:55,918 --> 00:07:57,752 That is why we're here. 169 00:07:57,753 --> 00:07:59,921 Fine. 170 00:07:59,922 --> 00:08:01,022 So, are you? 171 00:08:01,023 --> 00:08:02,690 Am I what? 172 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:05,360 Are you able to achieve an erection? 173 00:08:05,361 --> 00:08:08,263 Mm-hmm. 174 00:08:08,264 --> 00:08:11,833 Do you find it difficult to maintain your erection 175 00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:13,601 to complete intercourse? 176 00:08:16,806 --> 00:08:18,106 I'd rather not say. 177 00:08:18,107 --> 00:08:19,207 Yes. 178 00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,609 Do you masturbate? 179 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,715 - Her or me? - You. 180 00:08:23,716 --> 00:08:25,450 I'd rather not say. 181 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:31,653 Beverly, I'd like to try an exercise. 182 00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:32,987 All right. 183 00:08:32,988 --> 00:08:37,158 If your vagina could speak to Sean right now, 184 00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,693 what would it say to him? 185 00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:40,228 If my vagina could speak, 186 00:08:40,229 --> 00:08:43,398 we'd be having an entirely different set of problems. 187 00:08:43,399 --> 00:08:44,799 I sense your discomfort. 188 00:08:46,168 --> 00:08:47,635 But, please. 189 00:08:51,841 --> 00:08:53,908 Okay. 190 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:55,877 Uh... 191 00:08:57,479 --> 00:08:59,848 I suppose, if it could speak... 192 00:09:02,885 --> 00:09:04,519 it would want him to know... 193 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,456 No. No. No. As your vagina to Sean. 194 00:09:19,268 --> 00:09:23,204 Hi, Sean. 195 00:09:31,413 --> 00:09:36,451 Have you two thought about alternatives to intercourse? 196 00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:39,988 Perhaps you could pleasure each other orally 197 00:09:39,989 --> 00:09:41,856 or engage in anal play. 198 00:09:41,857 --> 00:09:44,392 - Mm, absolutely. - Mm-hmm. 199 00:09:44,393 --> 00:09:45,633 Take me home. I want to go home. 200 00:09:50,466 --> 00:09:52,767 Though others have been in me, 201 00:09:52,768 --> 00:09:55,637 you are the one I want. 202 00:10:01,210 --> 00:10:04,913 Sean, as you find yourself losing your erection... 203 00:10:04,914 --> 00:10:06,247 Oh, good, we're back on that. 204 00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:09,417 Do you think that there's anything that Beverly could do differently? 205 00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:12,086 No. 206 00:10:12,087 --> 00:10:14,022 No? Maybe something that she used to do, 207 00:10:14,023 --> 00:10:16,958 - or for some fantasy? - No. 208 00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:19,294 Maybe something that this other woman did. 209 00:10:19,295 --> 00:10:20,695 Oh, God, no. 210 00:10:20,696 --> 00:10:23,665 Look... It's not about sex. 211 00:10:23,666 --> 00:10:25,300 - Well... - It's not. 212 00:10:25,301 --> 00:10:26,734 I hate to disappoint you. 213 00:10:26,735 --> 00:10:28,536 I realize that's your thing, 214 00:10:28,537 --> 00:10:31,272 and I'm sorry if this leaves you out of the mix, 215 00:10:31,273 --> 00:10:34,075 but what happened to us had nothing to do with... 216 00:10:34,076 --> 00:10:36,344 copulation. 217 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:39,914 And I'm speaking for my cock here, as well. 218 00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:41,582 Well, so then, what is it about? 219 00:10:45,054 --> 00:10:46,921 Trust. 220 00:10:46,922 --> 00:10:50,391 - Trust? - Right. 221 00:10:50,392 --> 00:10:53,061 It's not about sex. It's not even about love. 222 00:10:53,062 --> 00:10:55,763 Love's the easy bit. 223 00:10:55,764 --> 00:11:01,669 It turns out, finding trust with someone, 224 00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:04,973 feeling safe, 225 00:11:04,974 --> 00:11:06,941 that's... 226 00:11:10,779 --> 00:11:13,781 And when I finally found it, I thought, 227 00:11:13,782 --> 00:11:18,519 "Well, there you go. That's it." 228 00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:21,489 But... 229 00:11:21,490 --> 00:11:25,426 when the trust goes away, 230 00:11:25,427 --> 00:11:27,862 when you can't feel it anymore... 231 00:11:30,699 --> 00:11:33,501 I don't know how you get it back. 232 00:11:38,607 --> 00:11:42,176 Sometimes I think... 233 00:11:42,177 --> 00:11:43,544 What? 234 00:11:43,545 --> 00:11:46,748 Sometimes I think 235 00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:50,451 maybe we've somehow... 236 00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:53,788 broken something fundamental... 237 00:11:53,789 --> 00:11:55,923 that can't be fixed. 238 00:12:14,959 --> 00:12:17,112 What the fuck!? 239 00:12:17,113 --> 00:12:18,513 Are you crazy? 240 00:12:18,514 --> 00:12:21,783 You had to tell her about the fucking paintings. 241 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:24,685 She was fine until you opened your big mouth. 242 00:12:24,686 --> 00:12:27,355 Three weeks, she didn't even know that they were gone! 243 00:12:27,356 --> 00:12:29,957 Now all of a sudden, it's, "Oh, I need my paintings." 244 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,960 I can't feel the presence of my art." 245 00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,095 God, you're a dick. 246 00:12:34,096 --> 00:12:35,229 Then suck me. 247 00:12:35,230 --> 00:12:38,099 Just stay out of my goddamn business! 248 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,400 Or what? You'll cancel my show? 249 00:12:39,401 --> 00:12:41,869 Oh, wait, you can't, because they canceled you. 250 00:12:41,870 --> 00:12:44,338 You know what? I'm glad I didn't cancel you. 251 00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,741 I like knowing you're stuck in that piece of shit. 252 00:12:46,742 --> 00:12:47,975 It feels good. 253 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,410 Oh, yeah? You know what really feels good? 254 00:12:49,411 --> 00:12:54,082 Putting my penis inside your wife's vagina. 255 00:12:54,083 --> 00:12:56,384 Oh. Look who went to medical school. 256 00:12:56,385 --> 00:12:57,952 You know what? You can have her. 257 00:12:57,953 --> 00:12:59,887 - I already got her. - Well, keep her! 258 00:12:59,888 --> 00:13:03,624 By the way, is the whole blind thing getting a little tired yet? 259 00:13:03,625 --> 00:13:05,560 Wait till you watch her eat soup. 260 00:13:05,561 --> 00:13:06,928 All right, that's it. 261 00:13:06,929 --> 00:13:08,329 Get the hell out of my driveway, 262 00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:10,298 and you better put those fucking paintings back. 263 00:13:10,299 --> 00:13:11,499 Or what? 264 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,501 You don't scare me. 265 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,836 - Huh? - I'm serious. 266 00:13:14,837 --> 00:13:16,237 You do not want to mess with this. 267 00:13:18,140 --> 00:13:20,007 I swear to God! 268 00:13:20,008 --> 00:13:22,610 You are so lucky that I have dinner plans. 269 00:13:43,665 --> 00:13:46,601 We're all really excited about the show moving to Saturday. 270 00:13:46,602 --> 00:13:48,269 Talk a little more about that. 271 00:13:48,270 --> 00:13:51,105 Well, there's so little original programing on Saturdays. 272 00:13:51,106 --> 00:13:53,674 It gives us a chance to reach a whole new audience. 273 00:13:53,675 --> 00:13:55,543 So, basically, you're hoping to do well 274 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:57,311 only because there's nothing else on. 275 00:13:57,312 --> 00:13:58,713 Yeah. 276 00:14:01,116 --> 00:14:05,219 I never saw it, but when you did the show in England, 277 00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,955 - it was a big hit, right? - Uh-huh. 278 00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:10,057 Is there something we're not getting? 279 00:14:10,058 --> 00:14:13,761 You're not getting the show we did in England! 280 00:14:13,762 --> 00:14:15,229 Excuse me. 281 00:14:15,230 --> 00:14:17,331 Can I just steal these two for a sec? 282 00:14:17,332 --> 00:14:18,366 Sure. 283 00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:20,468 You're welcome. 284 00:14:20,469 --> 00:14:22,503 My God, does anyone like our show? 285 00:14:22,504 --> 00:14:24,238 Probably. 286 00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:29,377 There he is. 287 00:14:29,378 --> 00:14:33,881 - There who is? - Castor. 288 00:14:34,182 --> 00:14:35,549 What do you think? 289 00:14:35,550 --> 00:14:39,019 I think he's the cliff, and you're Thelma and Louise. 290 00:14:39,020 --> 00:14:42,189 Yeah. I'd drive off that. 291 00:14:43,658 --> 00:14:46,760 Okay, so when you're finished talking business, 292 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:48,362 I'll be over at the bar. 293 00:14:48,363 --> 00:14:50,297 Look at him. 294 00:14:50,298 --> 00:14:52,233 He's under so much pressure. 295 00:14:52,234 --> 00:14:55,069 This is, like, his first official thing. 296 00:14:55,070 --> 00:14:57,671 It's got to be so hard. 297 00:14:57,672 --> 00:14:59,540 Anyway... 298 00:14:59,541 --> 00:15:01,542 Oh, by the way... at some point, 299 00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:03,644 we need to have a little chat 300 00:15:03,645 --> 00:15:06,380 about our visit to the "counselor" today. 301 00:15:06,381 --> 00:15:08,415 Oh, right. How'd it go? 302 00:15:08,416 --> 00:15:10,184 - Not now. - No, tell me. 303 00:15:10,185 --> 00:15:15,155 You might have mentioned she's a sex therapist. 304 00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:16,557 - Didn't I? - No. 305 00:15:16,558 --> 00:15:17,691 - No? - No! 306 00:15:17,692 --> 00:15:19,827 She talked about anal play. 307 00:15:19,828 --> 00:15:22,696 - Maybe let's do this later. - Let's. 308 00:15:25,033 --> 00:15:27,451 I have Matt LeBlanc coming in. 309 00:15:27,452 --> 00:15:30,020 So, Morning and the boys are here already, 310 00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:31,987 and Stoke's not coming. You know that, right? 311 00:15:31,988 --> 00:15:34,942 - How the hell did he get out of it? - He's shooting some V05 commercial. 312 00:15:34,943 --> 00:15:36,344 Fucking hair. 313 00:15:36,345 --> 00:15:38,279 The important thing is that you're here. 314 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:40,181 Everybody's very excited to talk to you. 315 00:15:40,182 --> 00:15:42,183 Great. I'm very excited about vodka. 316 00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:43,417 Can you get me a vodka? 317 00:15:43,418 --> 00:15:45,753 I can. Anything you need, I'm here. 318 00:15:45,754 --> 00:15:48,222 - Uh, vodka. - Absolutely. 319 00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:50,024 First, let's just go through a few quick talking points. 320 00:15:50,025 --> 00:15:51,392 Yeah. Yeah. 321 00:15:51,393 --> 00:15:53,861 You're really psyched about "Pucks'" big move to Saturday. 322 00:15:53,862 --> 00:15:56,597 It's a great opportunity for the show, 323 00:15:56,598 --> 00:15:58,132 feels like a fresh start, 324 00:15:58,133 --> 00:16:01,168 and it's a chance to attract a whole new audience. 325 00:16:01,169 --> 00:16:02,470 Anything else? 326 00:16:02,471 --> 00:16:03,804 Vodka? 327 00:16:03,805 --> 00:16:05,172 There you go. 328 00:16:12,314 --> 00:16:16,650 I got to ask, what made you come back in this? 329 00:16:16,651 --> 00:16:19,420 Uh, a new bank opened down the street, 330 00:16:19,421 --> 00:16:21,322 and I wanted to fill it up. 331 00:16:21,323 --> 00:16:23,190 No, seriously, 332 00:16:23,191 --> 00:16:26,260 after being on a hit, this has got to be rough, no? 333 00:16:26,261 --> 00:16:28,129 Nah. I'm having a blast. 334 00:16:28,130 --> 00:16:31,332 Very excited about the show moving to Saturday. 335 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,167 Saturday. 336 00:16:33,168 --> 00:16:34,769 Even though you're barely on it now? 337 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:37,671 That's not true. 338 00:16:37,672 --> 00:16:38,806 How come all of a sudden, 339 00:16:38,807 --> 00:16:40,574 no one wants to talk about my hair turning gray? 340 00:16:41,910 --> 00:16:44,745 No offense, it's not really your show anymore. 341 00:16:44,746 --> 00:16:47,181 What, are you trying to cause trouble here? 342 00:16:47,182 --> 00:16:49,083 It's still my show. 343 00:16:49,084 --> 00:16:51,018 Is it? 344 00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,226 I swear, they never showed it to us. 345 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,261 Look at that! 346 00:17:00,262 --> 00:17:02,029 I'm smaller than the fucking Puck! 347 00:17:02,030 --> 00:17:03,297 Hey, can I have a daiquiri, please? 348 00:17:03,298 --> 00:17:05,800 Hey, Matt. 349 00:17:05,801 --> 00:17:08,202 Bruno Aiken, Houston Sentinel. 350 00:17:08,203 --> 00:17:09,470 How you doing? 351 00:17:09,471 --> 00:17:11,772 Hey. 352 00:17:11,773 --> 00:17:12,973 Hey. 353 00:17:12,974 --> 00:17:15,709 You're the guy who called me fat. 354 00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:17,778 Uh, I don't... I don't... 355 00:17:17,779 --> 00:17:20,815 In your review. You called me fat. 356 00:17:20,816 --> 00:17:23,484 Are you fucking kidding me? You're 10 times fatter than me. 357 00:17:23,485 --> 00:17:25,119 Well... 358 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:26,787 You know, you can't tell from that tiny picture 359 00:17:26,788 --> 00:17:27,822 in your stupid column 360 00:17:27,823 --> 00:17:28,823 and with the beard and everything, 361 00:17:28,824 --> 00:17:30,391 but that's all face under there. 362 00:17:30,392 --> 00:17:31,392 Wow! 363 00:17:35,630 --> 00:17:38,732 So, you know we're moving to Saturday? 364 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,477 How much longer do you think we have to stay? 365 00:17:49,478 --> 00:17:51,679 I don't know. 366 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:52,947 Shit. 367 00:17:52,948 --> 00:17:54,281 - What? - Over there. 368 00:17:56,184 --> 00:17:58,953 Oh. Please, God, don't let him see us. 369 00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:01,188 I swear, I cannot face him tonight. 370 00:18:01,189 --> 00:18:03,557 If I hear one more, "Bev, guess what? 371 00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:05,659 I farted, and an Oscar came out." 372 00:18:05,660 --> 00:18:07,094 All right, if he moves towards us, 373 00:18:07,095 --> 00:18:08,629 let's just pretend... fuck, he saw us. 374 00:18:08,630 --> 00:18:10,364 Oh, God, please don't come over. 375 00:18:10,365 --> 00:18:12,533 Please don't come over. Is he coming over? 376 00:18:12,534 --> 00:18:15,102 No. 377 00:18:17,205 --> 00:18:18,672 Well, that's odd. 378 00:18:18,673 --> 00:18:20,307 - Sure it's him? - Of course it's him. 379 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:21,375 Look at the poncy scarf. 380 00:18:21,376 --> 00:18:22,376 Maybe he didn't see us. 381 00:18:22,377 --> 00:18:24,178 Oh, he saw us. 382 00:18:24,179 --> 00:18:25,412 Look, he just saw us again. 383 00:18:25,413 --> 00:18:26,747 And nothing! 384 00:18:26,748 --> 00:18:27,815 Didn't even wave! 385 00:18:27,816 --> 00:18:30,017 He's blowing us off. 386 00:18:30,018 --> 00:18:33,487 That little shit! 387 00:18:33,488 --> 00:18:36,223 Give me a vodka, and then another vodka. 388 00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:39,527 What are you guys staring at? 389 00:18:39,528 --> 00:18:41,228 That dick whistle Andrew Lesley. 390 00:18:41,229 --> 00:18:42,596 Andrew Lesley's here? 391 00:18:45,534 --> 00:18:48,636 Andrew. Hey! 392 00:18:48,637 --> 00:18:50,738 Monsieur LeBlanc! 393 00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:55,042 What are you doing here? 394 00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:57,678 Oh, I-I just shot a pilot with a network. 395 00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:58,946 Plus the one for NBC? 396 00:18:58,947 --> 00:19:00,247 I know. 397 00:19:00,248 --> 00:19:02,516 I worry there won't be enough of me to go around. 398 00:19:02,517 --> 00:19:05,386 Listen, I didn't get a chance to tell you. 399 00:19:05,387 --> 00:19:06,787 I loved your script. 400 00:19:06,788 --> 00:19:08,022 You did not. 401 00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,456 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 402 00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:11,725 Well, everyone says it, but still. 403 00:19:11,726 --> 00:19:13,127 So, uh, where are you with casting? 404 00:19:13,128 --> 00:19:14,562 In hell, thanks to you. 405 00:19:14,563 --> 00:19:16,463 Y-you positively ruined me. 406 00:19:16,464 --> 00:19:19,500 Now I can only hear your voice in my head. 407 00:19:19,501 --> 00:19:20,734 Well, keep hearing it, 408 00:19:20,735 --> 00:19:23,037 'cause they're trying "Pucks" on a new night, 409 00:19:23,038 --> 00:19:24,672 and if it doesn't work... 410 00:19:24,673 --> 00:19:27,041 Now you're just being a tease. 411 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,910 Hey, stop teasing me. 412 00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:31,211 Look at them. 413 00:19:31,212 --> 00:19:32,713 What an asshole. 414 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:35,215 - Which one? - Take your pick. 415 00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,585 Look, it's no secret we're in last place. 416 00:19:37,586 --> 00:19:40,254 Good news is, we have nowhere to go but up. 417 00:19:40,255 --> 00:19:43,057 And yes, I'm aware that's not very good news. 418 00:19:44,726 --> 00:19:46,560 It's got to feel like your schedule's in free fall, though. 419 00:19:46,561 --> 00:19:49,296 I think all network TV's in free fall. 420 00:19:49,297 --> 00:19:52,766 We're just the first ones pushed out of the plane. 421 00:19:52,767 --> 00:19:56,604 Does it worry you that you've never run a network before? 422 00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:57,938 What? 423 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,708 Okay, look, what can I say? 424 00:20:00,709 --> 00:20:03,744 The last guy who had this job ran the network for years. 425 00:20:03,745 --> 00:20:06,513 Unfortunately, he ran the network into the ground. 426 00:20:09,584 --> 00:20:13,120 So, you're saying this is all Merc Lapidus' mess? 427 00:20:14,689 --> 00:20:17,324 I'm sorry, what? 428 00:20:19,294 --> 00:20:20,794 Merc's mess? 429 00:20:20,795 --> 00:20:22,229 Uh, no. 430 00:20:22,230 --> 00:20:25,132 Uh, look, I could easily pin it all on him, 431 00:20:25,133 --> 00:20:28,135 but it's a totally different landscape today. 432 00:20:29,804 --> 00:20:32,773 We're not... just competing against each other. 433 00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:33,774 There are... 434 00:20:36,878 --> 00:20:38,145 There are all these... 435 00:20:39,481 --> 00:20:40,614 new platforms. 436 00:20:48,657 --> 00:20:50,157 Excuse me. 437 00:20:57,766 --> 00:20:59,233 Hey, there. 438 00:20:59,234 --> 00:21:00,934 Are you all right? 439 00:21:00,935 --> 00:21:02,970 I'm fine. Go back to the party. 440 00:21:07,075 --> 00:21:09,643 Look, I get it. 441 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:11,779 It's hard. 442 00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:14,581 You... 443 00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:16,316 You can tell? 444 00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,786 Of course I can tell. 445 00:21:18,787 --> 00:21:20,120 Oh, Jesus. 446 00:21:20,121 --> 00:21:22,890 You think... everyone can tell? 447 00:21:22,891 --> 00:21:25,259 No! No, you're doing great. 448 00:21:26,461 --> 00:21:28,929 But I totally get what you're going through. 449 00:21:28,930 --> 00:21:30,431 You do? 450 00:21:30,432 --> 00:21:32,066 Totally. 451 00:21:32,067 --> 00:21:34,001 Now, listen to me. 452 00:21:34,002 --> 00:21:36,603 You are not alone in this, 453 00:21:36,604 --> 00:21:38,939 no matter how hard it gets, 454 00:21:38,940 --> 00:21:43,410 and believe me, it can always get harder. 455 00:21:43,411 --> 00:21:45,779 I don't think that's possible. 456 00:21:45,780 --> 00:21:48,115 I'm here for you. 457 00:21:48,116 --> 00:21:49,950 Whatever you need. 458 00:21:49,951 --> 00:21:53,120 Really? 459 00:22:17,278 --> 00:22:20,514 Well, don't you look pretty. 460 00:22:20,515 --> 00:22:23,217 I didn't realize the dress code this morning 461 00:22:23,218 --> 00:22:25,152 was cocktail disheveled. 462 00:22:26,755 --> 00:22:30,057 I tried calling, but there's no reception up here. 463 00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:33,060 - I can't do this today. - Is it the heels? 464 00:22:34,295 --> 00:22:38,866 I never got home last night. 465 00:22:38,867 --> 00:22:40,167 I couldn't help but notice 466 00:22:40,168 --> 00:22:42,069 the hiking outfit did look familiar. 467 00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,971 Don't be mad. 468 00:22:43,972 --> 00:22:45,973 Castor? 469 00:22:45,974 --> 00:22:48,675 Oh, my God. 470 00:22:48,676 --> 00:22:50,577 - You slept with him. - I swear, 471 00:22:50,578 --> 00:22:52,346 there was no sleeping. 472 00:22:52,347 --> 00:22:54,314 It was insane! 473 00:22:54,315 --> 00:22:58,719 He went literally... literally all night. 474 00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,755 I've never seen anything like it. 475 00:23:01,756 --> 00:23:06,059 Merc on a good day, plus Viagra, maybe 10 minutes. 476 00:23:07,328 --> 00:23:09,229 This was superhuman. 477 00:23:09,230 --> 00:23:11,832 Calendar pages were flying off. 478 00:23:11,833 --> 00:23:15,836 Flowers were coming up and opening, and dying. 479 00:23:17,172 --> 00:23:19,673 I guess, hmm, no offense, 480 00:23:19,674 --> 00:23:21,341 but I definitely hate you. 481 00:23:21,342 --> 00:23:23,844 What? Oh, God. Sorry. 482 00:23:23,845 --> 00:23:25,712 No, no. Don't feel bad. 483 00:23:25,713 --> 00:23:30,551 It's not at all like telling Gandhi about how you ate a whole ham. 484 00:23:30,552 --> 00:23:32,252 I... 485 00:23:32,253 --> 00:23:36,023 If it helps, I'm really sore! 486 00:23:36,024 --> 00:23:38,091 Doesn't help! 487 00:23:53,308 --> 00:23:54,908 Hello, there. 488 00:23:54,909 --> 00:23:56,443 Hey. 489 00:23:56,444 --> 00:23:59,379 Just thought you'd be happy to know the paintings are back. 490 00:23:59,380 --> 00:24:00,380 Really? 491 00:24:00,381 --> 00:24:01,982 Up on the walls and everything. 492 00:24:01,983 --> 00:24:03,383 That's great. 493 00:24:03,384 --> 00:24:05,853 Thank you for, uh, staying out of it. 494 00:24:05,854 --> 00:24:07,421 I know that wasn't easy. 495 00:24:07,422 --> 00:24:09,156 Ah... 496 00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:11,258 I'm just happy it all worked out. 497 00:24:11,259 --> 00:24:13,627 So, am I seeing you later? 498 00:24:13,628 --> 00:24:17,030 Definitely. Maybe go to the beach? 499 00:24:17,031 --> 00:24:20,434 Oh, sounds great. I am dying for a swim. 500 00:24:20,435 --> 00:24:23,737 Maybe after, we could go out somewhere. 501 00:24:23,738 --> 00:24:25,105 How about Nobu? 502 00:24:25,106 --> 00:24:27,641 Nobu? I love Nobu. 503 00:24:35,383 --> 00:24:37,284 What are you doing? 504 00:24:37,285 --> 00:24:40,320 I don't know. Just looking. 505 00:24:40,321 --> 00:24:42,489 Would you like a chair? 506 00:24:42,490 --> 00:24:43,957 No. 507 00:24:43,958 --> 00:24:46,126 Want to do something? 508 00:24:46,127 --> 00:24:47,961 Sure. 509 00:24:47,962 --> 00:24:49,263 What? 510 00:24:49,264 --> 00:24:50,530 Anything. I don't care. 511 00:24:50,531 --> 00:24:51,798 Like a movie or something? 512 00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:53,600 - Mm... - So, not anything. 513 00:24:53,601 --> 00:24:55,602 Not really in a movie mood. 514 00:24:55,603 --> 00:25:00,007 We could just stay at home and pleasure each other orally. 515 00:25:00,008 --> 00:25:01,608 Oh, my God! 516 00:25:01,609 --> 00:25:02,943 That was the worst hour of my life. 517 00:25:02,944 --> 00:25:05,712 So then, uh, not up for a little, uh, anal play? 518 00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:06,847 Saw an anal play once. 519 00:25:08,116 --> 00:25:09,917 - Was it shitty? - It was. 520 00:25:09,918 --> 00:25:11,418 That's why we get the big bucks! 521 00:25:12,787 --> 00:25:14,755 Will you ever recover from that? 522 00:25:14,756 --> 00:25:16,690 Never. Permanently traumatized. 523 00:25:16,691 --> 00:25:20,127 By the way, why does your vagina sound like Yoda? 524 00:25:20,128 --> 00:25:23,196 I didn't know what to do. 525 00:25:23,197 --> 00:25:24,998 "Penetrate me, you could. 526 00:25:24,999 --> 00:25:28,201 - Lubricated, I am." - Shut up. 527 00:25:28,202 --> 00:25:30,337 "Sometimes, like popcorn, I smell." 528 00:25:30,338 --> 00:25:33,006 Stop it! 529 00:25:36,344 --> 00:25:38,211 We're not broken. 530 00:25:38,212 --> 00:25:40,714 You don't think? 531 00:25:40,715 --> 00:25:43,951 Maybe a little cracked. 532 00:26:00,568 --> 00:26:02,436 Wow. 533 00:26:02,437 --> 00:26:03,737 Did not see that coming. 534 00:26:03,738 --> 00:26:05,405 No! 535 00:26:07,241 --> 00:26:08,909 What was different this time? 536 00:26:08,910 --> 00:26:10,010 I have no idea. 537 00:26:10,011 --> 00:26:11,812 We have to remember everything we did. 538 00:26:11,813 --> 00:26:12,813 Oh, I'll remember. 539 00:26:14,048 --> 00:26:15,716 Should we do it again just to make sure? 540 00:26:15,717 --> 00:26:18,118 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 541 00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:21,254 That doctor was a genius. 542 00:26:23,091 --> 00:26:24,558 Oh, shit. What time is it? 543 00:26:24,559 --> 00:26:25,959 Seriously? 544 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:27,527 We missed our show. 545 00:26:27,528 --> 00:26:28,528 What show? 546 00:26:28,529 --> 00:26:29,663 "What show?" 547 00:26:29,664 --> 00:26:30,764 Oh! 548 00:26:30,765 --> 00:26:32,499 Right, it's Saturday! 549 00:26:34,669 --> 00:26:37,037 - Oh, well. - Oh, yeah. 550 00:26:40,475 --> 00:26:41,942 Unbelievable. 551 00:26:41,943 --> 00:26:45,312 We lost to something called "Storage Wars: Texas"? 552 00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:47,930 Which was a repeat, by the way. 553 00:26:47,931 --> 00:26:50,817 We also lost to "Wicked Tuna," 554 00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:54,454 "Jerseylicious," "Swamp People." 555 00:26:54,455 --> 00:26:57,157 Oh, shit. I missed "Swamp People." 556 00:26:57,158 --> 00:26:58,895 This is not good, you guys. 557 00:26:58,896 --> 00:27:00,293 All right, but this is just the first week. 558 00:27:00,294 --> 00:27:03,371 They've got to give the audience a chance to find us. 559 00:27:03,372 --> 00:27:07,467 I mean, they've got to, right? 560 00:27:22,357 --> 00:27:26,767 Sync and corrected by Elderfel www.addic7ed.com 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 38283

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