Original subtitles

-[snoring] -[clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

Nermal's still directing

his western movie,

and things are getting dangerous in these parts.

[western music]

Miss Arlene is trapped in a stage coach.

The stage has been sabotaged by men working for the baddest of bad guys,

Doc Whipple.

How will our heroes get out of this alive? How should I know?

I'm only the narrator.

[horses neighing]

-[rooster crowing] -[western music]

I know you've been on The Garfield Show a few times but we're doing a western.

There's no place in it for Sloth People.

[sighing sadly]

Wait.

This movie does need something.

Maybe it needs Sloth People. It might work. OK.

I'll find a place for you.

[cheering]

-And I'll get you guys into the movie. -[cheering]

-And me? And me, me, me, me? -Yes, you, you, you, you, you.

Garfield, get ready for the big runaway stagecoach scene.

That's what I wanted to talk to you about.

I'm the star of this movie. Why am I doing my own stunts?

Because, baby, we want realism. Because we want authenticity.

And because I spent so much money on ninjas, I can't afford stunt cats.

Well, how about, instead of me risking my life, we do it in CGI?

Do you know how phony CGI always looks?

Yeah, you're right. OK.

[Squeak] All right, quiet on the set!

[teeth chattering]

-[ninjas muttering] -That means you too, ninjas!

OK, remember! You're about to be run over by a runaway stagecoach!

Nermal! What's my motivation in this scene?

Your motivation is to not be run over by a runaway stagecoach!

Got it. [screaming]

Perfect.

All right. Action!

-[action music] -[screaming]

[Arlene] Garfield! Save me!

Quick, Odie!

-We'll head her off by taking a shortcut. -[Arlene] Garfield?

-[Odie muttering] -Of course there's a shortcut.

This is a western movie, isn't it? There's a shortcut to everything!

Fortunately, I always carry a map of shortcuts.

[screaming]

We have to turn on Buttram Boulevard! I need to ask someone where it is!

[screaming]

Excuse me! Do you know where Buttram Boulevard is?

[groaning]

Thanks!

-[Odie yipping] -[action music]

Hi, Arlene! Going on a trip?

-[Arlene screaming] -That sounds like fun.

[Arlene] Garfield, save me!

[ninjas shouting]

Hey, guys! Look!

[horses neighing]

[screaming]

-Do you see the stagecoach? -[Odie whimpering]

[Odie yowling]

All right, Odie. I'm the hero of this movie.

That means I have to do at least one really, really stupid thing,

and this is it.

I wrote this.

-Here goes! -[Odie muttering]

[screaming]

[thudding]

[Odie muttering]

[Garfield giggling]

Yes! So, uh, what do I do now?

Why don't you try unhooking the horses?

I would have thought of that!

Eventually.

[screaming]

[action music continues]

OK.

Unhooking the horses.

[groaning]

[grunting]

[Garfield] Oh, boy.

[bolt creaking]

[groaning]

[screaming]

What do you reckon is going to happen to that stagecoach?

I'm just glad I'm not pulling it.

[screaming]

Garfield! How do we stop this thing?

No problem, Miss Arlene! With the horses disconnected

it will just come to sort of a natural stop on its own...

[ominous music]

Unless, of course, we come to a very steep

downhill section of road.

[screaming]

[rat] ♪ Our heroes are truly in trouble indeed ♪

♪ They're trapped in a wagon that's picking up speed ♪

♪ Whatever they do, it continues to roll ♪

♪ The stagecoach is utterly out of control ♪

[western music]

[screaming]

[gasping]

♪ The odds are not good that the two will survive ♪

♪ Especially since there is no one to drive ♪

♪ It looks like they're gonna wind up in a hole ♪

♪ The stagecoach is totally out of control ♪

[western music]

[singing]

♪ Destruction is looming wherever they turn ♪

♪ So there is a lesson you all oughta learn ♪

♪ If living a long life's a principal goal ♪

♪ Don't ride in a coach that is out of control ♪

[western music]

Oh, great. We're doomed and some rat is singing songs about it.

Garfield! Up ahead! What does that sign say?

[screaming]

-I'm afraid it said "Bridge out." -[gasping]

Arlene, I want you to know. That other woman meant nothing to me.

Although she did say she'd make me cannelloni...

[western music]

[gasping]

[screaming]

-Oh! -|crashing]

It wasn't supposed to end like this...

I think. Where's my script?

Mustache mob... scene in Vito's... ninjas. Here it is.

"We see the stagecoach crash into the canyon

"and splinter into a million pieces."

Oh no!

"Angle on a tree near the edge of the cliff. We see Garfield and Arlene

"clinging to an overhanging branch, having grabbed it just in time!"

[sighing in relief]

Thank you, Garfield.

I'd do anything for you, Miss Arlene.

Would you eat health food?

[groaning]

I said, would you eat health food?

-I'm thinking it over! -[giggling]

[screaming]

-We're sorry, Doc. -We tried to get rid of that deputy...

But someone messed up.

It doesn't matter. I can use that incident with the stagecoach

to get the sheriff fired.

-Just watch me. -[gasping]

[sad music]

[whimpering]

[barking happily]

[giggling]

Good to see you too, boy.

Anything happen in town while we were away?

[muttering]

What's he saying?

There's some sort of protest rally in the town square.

And so I say to you good people of this town,

when a runaway stagecoach

threatened our citizens, did Sheriff Jon Arbuckle come to our aid?

-[muttering in disagreement] -No.

And has he succeeded in capturing the nefarious Mustache Mob?

[muttering in disagreement]

He's had plenty of time too.

He's been sheriff since... let's see... just before noon.

[muttering]

The Mustache Mob is a menace to our town!

And if Sheriff Jon can't catch them, we need a new sheriff!

And get rid of his deputies while we're at it!

People! I know I'm new on the job but--

Have you caught the Mustache Mob yet?

Well no, but if you'll just let me--

Did you stop the runaway stagecoach?

Well no, I didn't, but my deputy happened to be--

Have you done anything about the rising prices of candy bars?

What?

He's right. Candy bars keep costing more and more!

The price of hats is going up, too!

My pizzeria was half destroyed by a brawl!

Can I be the new sheriff?

If you'll just let me finish. I'm new on the job.

I'm doing my best.

[suspenseful music]

Odie, I think you and I just got out of the deputy business.

[whining]

[sad music]

Sorry I have to do this, Arbuckle, but the townspeople are demanding it.

[sighing] I understand, Mayor.

Here's my badge, Garfield's badge and Odie's badge.

If the rest of you don't mind, I think I'd like to be alone for a while.

[Odie crying]

Here's your badge, Sheriff Clyde.

Here's yours, Deputy Zeke.

And yours, Deputy Luke.

I leave the sheriff's office in your hands.

Uh, excuse me, Mayor,

but wasn't there something else you were supposed to do?

Something about the contents of a safe?

[cackling]

-This is so sad! -[weeping]

You think this is sad? Wait to hear Jon's big solo coming up!

[sad western music]

♪ Sleeping out on the plains ♪

♪ Singing western song refrains ♪

♪ Life out here is well met ♪

♪ Still I have this one regret ♪

♪ I always wanted a star on my chest ♪

♪ Wanted to uphold the law of the west ♪

[cackling]

[upbeat music]

[yodeling]

♪ Cowboy life has always been my dream ♪

♪ My horse and I would be an awesome team ♪

♪ Cowboy life has always been my dream ♪

♪ To teach the bad guys law must be supreme ♪

[screaming]

♪ Cowboy life has always been my dream ♪

[Clyde] So...

the combination is 25-13-25?

-That's right. -[cackling]

Just remember that and remember not to give that map to anyone.

Oh, we would never let anyone have the map to Glitter Gulch.

-Would we, guys? -No, not a chance. No way.

All right. Good night, guys.

[all] Good night, Mr. Mayor.

[cackling] We've got it! We've got the map to the city of gold!

I've got the map to the city of gold!

We leave first thing in the morning.

And by nightfall, I'm fixin' to be the richest man in the world!

And cut! Great job, guys!

We'll break for lunch.

Lunch? First good idea you've had today.

You gonna get something?

Not right now. I've had an idea.

A brilliant idea!

An idea so great I don't know why it didn't occur to me 67 pages ago.

I know what this movie needs. The thing that every movie needs.

The thing that is guaranteed to make this movie the biggest hit ever.

Really? What does it need?

It needs...

me!

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR