Original subtitles

-[snoring] -[clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[western music]

[growling]

[growling]

[gasping]

[groaning]

[grunting]

[gasping]

[sighing]

[cheering]

You got me!

Hold it! Stop! Cut!

-Pies? -Huh?

This is a western movie and they're throwing pies?

Hey, I'm just the stage manager. The director wanted pies.

So we got pies.

Who's directing this thing? I demand to speak with him this instant.

Director's coming to the stage.

-[Odie muttering] -Whoever heard of a western with pies?

Besides, pies aren't for throwing.

-Hey! -Oh, hi, Nermal. Pies are for eating.

-Huh? -Where's this director?

-I'm your-- -Here I am making my first western,

and they probably got some kid out of film school...

-[Odie whining] -Someone who has no experience.

Well actually, Garfield, I'm your--

I can't work like this.

Where is that director?

We've set up the next shot.

-Any time you're ready. -[Garfield gasping]

[Nermal giggling]

-You? You're the director? -Guess so.

-[Odie whining] -We quit.

Wait, wait! Don't you even want to hear my fresh, new concept for this movie?

Does it involve the star mailing his director to Abu Dhabi?

I've been thinking. Westerns are kind of old-fashioned.

That may be because they take place in the past, Nermal.

[Odie giggling]

Exactly. So I've decided to add in things that today's audiences want!

Like zombies!

Where's my zombie?

[Odie whining]

Zombie to the set, please!

And ninja warriors! Where are my ninjas?

Ninjas, please!

[suspenseful music]

Aren't they great?

You wouldn't believe how many ninjas I had to audition to find these.

Nermal...

And making a deal? Do you know how hard it is to negotiate with ninja warriors?

Their agent is a Samurai! They're worth it! These guys are utterly fearless!

-[zombie groaning] -[screaming]

Okay, so they're afraid of zombies, but hey, who isn't?

-Garfield... -Huh?

If you and Odie will be in my movie, I won't annoy you for...

Twelve weeks.

Eight weeks including reruns.

[giggling]

Well. We got to go get into wardrobe.

-[Odie yipping] -Excuse me.

Do I have any actual dialogue in this film

or do I just go about...

[groaning]

Like that?

Hey, listen, kid, if you don't like it, industry's full of unemployed zombies.

-Is my rat with a guitar here yet? -Uh-huh.

Tuned up and ready to rock.

Okay, people! And those of you who aren't people!

Let's take it from the top!

"Legend of Glitter Gulch," scene one, take one.

We have speed and... action!

[western music]

Get yourself comfy as I tell a story

about a city in total despair.

It was a town with a pretty bad sheriff

utterly clueless to crime everywhere.

Hey, you! Don't litter!

-[crashing] -Help! The Mustache Mob robbed the bank!

Help! The Mustache Mob just robbed the jewelry store!

[spitting]

No chewing gum on the street!

[gasping]

[growling]

Help! The Mustache Mob just robbed the soft frozen yogurt shop!

You have to listen to me! I'm the sheriff!

I have a badge and everything!

Boy... If I were the sheriff, I'd stop all this crime and lawlessness.

So the town is gripped in a crime spree.

Big fat hairy deal. It doesn't bother me.

Help! The Mustache Mob! They just robbed my pizzeria!

[gasping] All right! Now they've gone too far!

[western music]

[rat] All through the city, the people were angry.

Someone, they said, had to capture that mob.

They told the mayor to get a new lawman.

He told the old one to find a new job.

[sobbing] Oh please, Mr. Mayor! Don't fire me!

I love being sheriff! I love wearing my little sheriff suit.

Please, please. Give me another chance.

We gave you another chance.

Then give me another another chance. Oh, please, please. [sobbing]

Do your duty, Mayor. The Mustache Mob has now robbed eight banks,

three jewelry stores and that place on the corner that sells soft frozen yogurt.

Hmm. I don't believe they've robbed any of your businesses yet, Doc Whipple.

They will. [laughing]

I'm the richest man in town.

It's just a matter of time.

Psst!

You guys have an entrance coming up.

Mmm. And it's about time.

[grunting]

Sorry, sheriff Gourmand. You're fired.

[sobbing] I don't want to be!

I've got just the men to replace him!

A new sheriff and two deputies!

-Clyde! -[fanfare]

This is Clyde. He and his men will make fine law enforcers.

I'm sure they would, but I've already hired someone else.

Arbuckle!

Huh?

Howdy there, Mr. Mayor, sir.

I sure am proud you picked me to be sheriff.

I'll catch them good-for-nothin' Mustache Mobsters.

[laughing]

[sobbing] I don't want to be fired!

Let me introduce you to my deputies.

-Oh, deputies! -Ta-dah!

[groaning]

Howdy, partners.

You're appointing a cat and a dog as deputies?

You should hire my men here.

Calm down, Doc Whipple. I gave Arbuckle here the job.

If he and his pets don't catch the mustache mob, well...

then I'll give your guys a chance.

We can practically guarantee they won't catch the Mustache Mob.

-Right, men?

-[laughing] -Sure!

I'll show you around, Sheriff Jon. You're going to need the combination

to the safe where we keep the files.

We've got to get that new sheriff fired

so you can replace him and I can get access to that safe.

Why? What's in it?

I'll tell you later. Right now, I want you to go out

and make trouble. -Sure thing, Doc.

Don't worry, we're real good at that. [laughing]

[soft music]

All right. Cue Arlene to enter.

-[sipping] -Ow!

Hello, Garfield.

-Or should I say Deputy Garfield? -[Odie yipping]

Howdy, Miss Arlene.

I brought you lunch. In fact, I made your favorite thing...

food.

You've always been right nice to me, Miss Arlene.

[western music]

[rat] Up on the hillside, a stampede was starting.

More head of cattle than you ever seen.

-[cheering] -[banging]

-[mooing] -[thundering hoof beats]

[western music continues]

Nothing would stop them from reaching the village.

Nothing except for obeying the law.

[mooing]

Hey, by jingo! What's going on?

What's that noise?

-[chicken squawking] -[dramatic music]

[screaming]

Cattle stampede!

[cackling]

[traffic light dinging]

[sheep baaing]

[cackling]

[baaing]

[traffic light dinging]

[mooing and thundering hoof beats]

-[Odie barking] -All those cows are heading for the bank!

Either they all have A.T.M. cards or we have a stampede on our hands!

Well, looky here. You're the sheriff, Sheriff.

Do something to stop them, why don't you?

[stuttering nervously]

S-s-stop them? But how do I...

-Umm... -[alarm blaring]

[honking]

[gasping in terror]

-[Odie barking] -Sheriff Jon's about to get trampled.

Not if I... uh... Line?

"Not if his faithful deputy is around."

Not if his faithful deputy is around.

[giggling] This is so awesome!

[gasping in terror]

[screaming]

[blowing whistle]

This is a left turn only lane!

[horns blaring]

[sighing]

-[Odie yipping] -[fanfare]

[western music]

Edgar, remember when I decided we should go vegan?

Yeah, I remember.

Well, I've decided to forget about that.

From now on, there will be meat in this house.

[horn honking]

[Odie barking]

[blowing whistle]

[blowing whistle]

-[western music] -[Garfield laughing]

Soon all the cattle had gone to the hillside,

making wide turns at all hamburger stands.

-[cheering] -Hurray for the new sheriff!

[cheering]

[cheerful western music]

[rat] All the folks in the city were grateful.

All but Doc Whipple, who scolded his hands.

You incompetents! We've got to get that sheriff and deputy

fired! [teeth chattering]

[sighing]

Oh right! Get a good close-up of Whipple when he delivers his next line.

Just so you can get into some safe in the sheriff's office?

What's in there that's so all-fired important, Doc?

A map. A map to a canyon where everything is gold.

That map must be mine.

That canyon must be mine.

[Nermal] Perfect!

All right, we're on a break. Everybody take five!

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR