Original subtitles

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[Garfield] Ok, leave! Go find another show to be on.

I don't need you. I don't need any of you.

[angry muttering]

I don't care.

You think I care? I don't care. See?

But you're all in big trouble.

I'm going to report you all to Jim Davis.

The nerve of those people.

"Could we have some dialogue from time to time, please?"

Don't they know whose show this is? Whose name is in the title?

Does it say "The Eddie Gourmand Show" at the beginning?

I don't think so.

Hello? Anybody here?

Stage manager? Director? Writers? Hello?

Everybody's deserting me today.

There isn't even any background music.

Well, at least they left me a script for this week.

[cheerful music]

"The Big Discovery." Already I don't like it.

Note to self: "Remember to fire the writers."

Let's see! Fade in. Exterior, Arbuckle House, day.

Jon doing something... New character.

I'm sick of new characters.

When do I get to be on my show? Oh, here I am.

"We find Garfield curled up in bed, sound asleep."

First good idea they had.

[yawning]

Maybe a short dream sequence will help.

[snoring]

I don't need those guys. I can do this show all by myself.

I could play all the parts...

[snoring]

I don't need those guys. I don't need anyone.

[snoring]

[whining]

[whining]

No, I will not fetch the stick.

[barking]

Can you believe we paid someone to write that?

[barking]

[threatening music]

There is absolutely nothing

in this world that could get me out of bed today.

[Garfield as Jon] Garfield.

I'm going out for a while.

My nieces Drusilla and Minerva are coming by for a visit.

Nothing in this world, not even Jon's nieces.

[screaming] Jon's nieces!

[screaming]

I've got to get out of here.

[dramatic music]

Uncle Jon! Uncle Jon!

[screaming]

I don't think he's here, Minerva.

I keep telling you. I'm Drusilla. You're Minerva.

Oh, right! And we're here to play with the...

kitty cat!

[screaming]

[in unison] We're going to play with the kitty cat!

Stay away from the kitty cat!

Stay away from the kitty cat!

[twins] Kitty cat! Kitty cat!

Kitty cat!

[lively music]

Those won't work.

I need something to barricade it.

Bed.

Refrigerator.

Elephant.

[sighing]

Kitty cat!

[screaming]

You don't understand, Agnes.

This cat does terrible things to me.

Well, for instance, he just dropped a bed on me.

And a refrigerator.

And, of course, an elephant.

Do me a favor.

There are two girls chasing me. Distract them while I get away.

Will you do that for me?

[trumpeting]

[samba music]

Elephant!

[scared trumpeting]

-Let's style his trunk! -We need to moisturize him!

Agnes? I'm coming home.

This episode's starting to get a little bit silly.

I think I did it. I think I got away from them.

I must have. I'm not in ladies' clothing.

-I'm safe. -Hi, Garfield.

I'm not safe. Nermal!

That's right. It's me, Nermal.

The cutest kitten on this or any other planet.

I dropped the elephant on the wrong person.

Sorry.

Do you have a reason to be here?

Or you just came by to say how cute you were?

I just came by to tell you how cute I am.

Ok. At least he's being honest.

[Garfield as agent] Excuse me,

but I'm an important and powerful agent from Hollywood.

I just saw you standing here,

and I couldn't help but notice how incredibly handsome

and adorable you are.

Naturally.

No, not you. I meant the other one.

I've never seen a handsomer face than that.

You're beautiful.

-No, you're beautiful. -No, you're beautiful.

No, no. I'm beautiful. Take a look at this.

No, I don't think so.

Would you mind if I made you

a fabulously rich and famous TV star?

As long as I'm home in time for dinner.

Not a problem.

We need a truly beautiful animal for a new commercial.

We'll do a screen test. If you're the one,

you'll be fabulously rich and famous.

It's not fair! It's not fair, I tell you!

Put me on TV! Put this face on TV!

I have to get a screen test and beat Garfield out

to become fabulously rich and famous.

So, what do I do?

Do what you do best.

Fine. Eating or sleeping?

I have to go scout more talent.

The director will take care of you. Remember:

You're beautiful, baby.

-No, you're beautiful. -No, you're beautiful.

Ok, have it your way. I'm beautiful.

What do I do now? Mr. Director?

[Garfield as director] Here I am.

We'd just like to see you do a little dance for us.

Sure. How's this?

[joyful music]

[Garfield as director] Fine, fine. Now, turn around.

If he gets this job, I'll lose it!

I have to do something.

[Garfield as director] Good.

Now, for the next part of your screen test...

He's done. Now it's time for my screen test.

Put the camera on me. Let it show how awesome I am.

Nermal, this is my screen test.

[Garfield as director] We have what we need on you.

We'll test this cat now.

Ok.

[Garfield as director] Name?

Nermal Cat. Star of tomorrow.

[Garfield as director] One second.

I'll be right back.

My awesomeness and I will be waiting,

Mr. Director Person.

All right, Nermal...

I want you to do everything I say.

Ok, ready.

[Garfield] Lift your left foot. Lift your right foot.

Fall down and go boom.

Get up. Stand on your head.

Stand on your feet. Quack like a duck.

Quack, quack!

[Garfield] Eat a pint of yogurt.

Boogie till you drop.

Do a push-up.

Collapse from exhaustion.

That's great! Great, Nermal.

You tricked me, Garfield. Well, I don't care.

I'm going to get this job.

No, you're not.

I'll be fabulously rich and famous.

I'll get this job.

I'm more adorable than you and more talented

and I'm cuter in every way and everyone says so.

You're not as awesome as you think.

I'll mail you to Abu Dhabi again,

you annoying cat.

[Garfield as agent] Guys, guys!

You have to stop arguing.

[both] Which one of us gets the job?

Neither one of you.

I found an animal more adorable than both of you put together.

[trumpeting]

Show them what you can do, Jumbo!

[trumpeting]

I'm going to make that elephant fabulously rich and famous.

-So... what do you think? -I think we need to learn that.

Right. And a one and a two...

What a dream sequence!

And I really liked the cast.

That's the answer. I really don't need anybody else.

I'll play all the roles from now on.

Maybe I can even play the elephant's part.

First, I'll play myself. That's not much of a stretch.

Snore, snore, snore. Then I'll play Odie.

[panting and barking]

And then, Jon...

Garfield, I want you to behave yourself.

This is how I behave.

If you don't behave, no lasagna for you.

You can't mean it.

I do mean it.

And I can play Vito, too.

[Italian accent] Ah, Signor Arbuckle.

I have the nice, hot pizza for your pussycat.

Oh, smells great. What's on it?

It is just what you asked for: a Vito special with the anchovies.

Anchovies? I didn't want anchovies.

You asked for the anchovies.

No, I did not.

Yes, you did.

No, I did not.

Yes, you did.

-Didn't. -Did.

-Didn't. -Did.

-Didn't. -Did.

I can't do this. I can't do this all by myself.

To many no's and yes's and stuff!

I need others on my show. I need Odie.

[whining]

Yes, I need you, Odie...

[barking]

And I need you, Jon.

We all decided to come back, Garfield.

And I need you... And I need you... And I need you...

[meowing]

No, not you.

But I really need you. Without the anchovies.

[cheerful music]

No anchovies. Thank you. Thank you.

Listen, everyone. I've learned my lesson.

I'll give you all lines.

I'll share the spotlight. I'll even see about paying some of you.

Can you ever forgive me?

[agreeing chatter]

Thank you so much.

Hey, how about sharing that pizza?

-Yeah! -How about it?

Are you out of your minds?

[groaning]

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR