Original subtitles

You are a

pebble in the stream.

Allow the water to

shape your surface.

You are a reed in the wind.

Bend so that you do not break.

You are the wind in the trees.

Easton?

- Ugh! Diana!

- Is Easton in here?

- No.

- He knows we have to

be at the soup kitchen.

Okay, bye.

Where the hell is Easton?

- I love that you still pretend

you're actually exercising.

- I do exercise.

You just happen to be

along my jogging route.

- Jogging route, cute.

You know, Easton, I

miss you in your whites.

There's something so attractive

about a man in

uniform, you know?

It's that confident

projection of, I have a job.

- Not this again.

- Come on, don't you think it's

time you pulled yourself up

by your bootstraps and got

back to doing what you love?

- Can you just stop?

- I'm sorry, I just

think sometimes it takes

a friend to call

out the bullshit.

- So we are friends?

- Options for today.

A, we can do it in the

cellar door in the making

or B, we could replay

love in the vines.

- Can't we ever just

go to your house?

- I think tradesmen should use

the trades entrance, don't you?

- Well you just said

I was your friend.

- I think the

cellar door option.

I've got a new sofa.

- You're better than this.

Don't listen to your penis.

Don't, listen, to your...

- It's Danish.

- Pathetic.

- Easton!

Easton!

Oh, look at

this from Aunty Lynn.

- Is it right opening presents

when we didn't

actually get married?

- Congratulations. Sorry

about the spelling.

It was too late to

change. Love, Lynn.

Dennis. Hello, Dennis.

Oh, and you better dig

out your dance shoes,

because we got another wedding

present we have to use.

- Oh, Brett, you know

I don't like surprises.

- That's why I'm

telling you now, Dennis.

- Easton!

- Oh, an electric

fly-swatting tennis racket.

Yes!

- Easton!

- Okay, so, I was thinking

we'll reschedule for the 17th,

just before Diana goes back.

- Reschedule the wedding?

- You're doing what?

- And there'll be no alcohol,

and we'll enforce

a no-gun policy.

- Oh, geez, Mum, rub it in, God.

Has anyone seen Easton?

I can't find the

douche nozzle anywhere.

- We could just use

the registry office.

- Well the whole point

of getting married

was to publicly celebrate.

- Or livestream.

- I was publicly celebrating,

up until, you

know, the incident.

- I just want our family

to do one thing properly.

Just for once. Is

that too much to ask?

- I am doing right,

because I'm repaying

my debts to society.

- Oh, oh, to society.

Well what about to me?

What about to us?

- Well, Mum, you sort of did

force me to flee the country

after lying about

my grandmother's

death my entire life

so I think we're

pretty even Stephens.

- Ugh.

- You Wests, you

don't give an inch.

- I am right, though.

- Maybe you should go to work

and have a little

bit of a ponder.

And I'll take your mother

dancing, and maybe, just maybe,

you can meet in the

middle somewhere, eh?

- Fine. I'm gonna

go find Easton.

- He went out jogging.

- Oh, he goes jogging?

- Yeah, through Margot's vines.

- Ew.

- It was Dennis.

- Have a little bit

of self-respect.

You are

a reed in the wind.

- I'm a reed in the wind.

Bend--

- Bend so that you do not snap.

Jesus! You lunatic!

- Get in the car now.

- Why?

Because, Easton,

if you deliberately sabotage

our community service

and I don't get back to London

for my restaurant opening,

I will haunt you.

Yeah, yeah, I will

be everywhere.

I'll be in your

house, in your face.

I'll be loud and young and

effer-flipping-vescent.

I will make your life

a pastel-colored hell.

- Doesn't start

for another hour.

- Fine.

But I meant what I said.

Yeah, I brought your

shit. You're welcome.

- What's this?

- If you must know, Harry's

hired Viggo Jansen as exec chef,

so I need to get a

menu to him ASAP,

which means I need to invent

a new dish like, yesterday.

- You and Viggo Jansen, odd mix.

- We were an odd

mix. He is a genius.

- No, he's not.

He's just Danish.

What is this wankery?

None of this looks

anything like what you do.

You know this whole

Nordic minimalism

bollocks'll be over next week?

- Mm, yeah, that's what you

said about gourmet burgers

and the Me Too movement.

- We haven't abandoned

the restaurant, Viggo.

We're just held up

here for a week or two.

It's a long time.

- I can still be across

everything off-site.

I just did a medical

consult for a scalding burn.

All online.

I don't care if

you burned your face off,

we need you here.

- Your empathy is overwhelming.

This is ridiculous.

We need the desserts

menu, Harold.

How am I supposed to

finalize the dishes

if Diana hasn't told

me what she's making?

- Diana's actually preparing

the menu now, actually.

It looks really exciting.

It better

not be another vagina.

- No no no, no

chocolate vaginas.

She is thinking

of gender swapping

to a penis pie,

though, actually.

Harold, you

promised me, no genitals.

- Mate, I'm joking.

I'm joking. Her menu will

complement yours, all right.

I promise.

Your mother is

not going to be happy.

Get me the menu,

Harold. I need it now.

- We will get it

to you. I promise.

This is ridiculous.

- I gotta go, Viggo.

- I don't want to see you

thinking. Just moving.

I can tell when you're thinking.

Like the great one said,

the hips don't lie.

- Yes, but I can't move my

hips unless I think about it.

- I think he's trying that

clear your mind Yoda thing.

- Oh, okay, I'll try.

- No, I'll try

not do, or do not.

- Left, right, left,

right, left, right.

- Left, right?

- Do I go right and then you go?

Yeah, we'll try.

- Left, right, left.

I'm terrible at this.

- No no, no no no no. It's

okay, let's just have some fun.

Let's have some fun.

- Okay, but doing things

properly is how I have fun.

- One more try, one more try.

Left, left, no no.

- Okay, Brett, why

don't you partner

with Jeremiah over there?

- What?

- Jeremiah, that one there.

- Oh, okay.

- Okay, Denise.

- Yeah.

- Excuse me?

- Yes?

- My name's Brett.

Alberto just asked me to

come partner with you.

- All right, Brett. I'm

not here to fuck spiders.

Got beginners regionals next

week. Now can you meringue?

- Oh, just a bit.

- Foxtrot?

- No.

- Rumba?

- No.

- Ballroom?

- This is my first lesson.

- Jesus Christ.

- That's my pa--

- Hands.

- Yes, oh, that's tight.

- Then loosen up.

- Okay, Denise, let's

stop you from looking like

a baby giraffe walking

on a lake of jelly, okay?

- Revisit.

- Excuse me, I can see

you're a big wheel.

I can tell by your fancy shorts.

Diana tells me you won't cook.

- I refuse to cook for a world

that rewards talent with emojis.

I am a pebble in a stream.

- Right.

Well, if it's meaning

you're looking for,

is there a better

one than cooking

for hungry people who

can't feed themselves?

I mean, that fella fed

5,000 on that idea.

We've only gotta feed 30.

- And who are you exactly?

- I'm Terry. I help

out in the kitchen.

I'm a big fan.

It's gonna be fantastic

working with you, Chef.

Though I probably can't

call you that now.

- Well, you can if you want.

- Not if you aren't

a chef, I can't.

I'd like to be called

Wing Commander,

but I don't fly a plane.

- Look, you just cook

and I'll do the rest.

- I get it, perfect.

You can start by

emptying all the bins,

and then once you've done that,

you set up the dining

chairs and then, uh,

get on to the dishes.

Lovely fella.

- Oh yeah.

So we're making

soup and what else?

- What I'm gonna do is like

a take on the Mission's

apple crumble, right, but

with like a Nordic twist.

So maybe if you wanna get

started on prepping the apples?

- Right. Okay.

Carpe diem curry.

- Carp?

- Yeah, they have a bad

rep as a pest species,

but they're good if

you clean them right.

- Interesting.

- So I've managed to push

that party of 12 back to 7:30.

- Mm-hm.

- And I'd like a 500% pay

rise, because without me

this entire shit

show would collapse.

- Okay, sure.

He's trying my new dish.

Oh, no. Get down.

Holy shit.

Harry Saroff, you wingeing bum.

- Mate!

Oh, you piece of shit.

It's been a while, mate.

- So, why are we hiding?

- Heard you were in town.

See you came to check

out my new digs, huh?

Hey, how's your dad?

- Hey, Nayani, Kwame.

- Oh, I heard you met my

crew as well. But wait.

I bet Diana told you

all about them, right?

- Diana told me a

lot about Nayani,

but nothing about

Kwame, weirdly.

- Ouch. How could

she leave you out?

- Kwame mentioned at the

wedding that I should drop in

if I was ever at a loose end.

- That's nice of him.

- He's just making a dish.

You can help me decide

if it makes the menu.

- Ah, lovely.

- Cool. Cool.

I guess I'll just

make another one.

- Where is the

lovely lady friend?

- She and Easton are

volunteering at a soup kitchen.

- Community service.

I heard

about this too.

Easton shot the celebrant.

Cockatoo.

- I think I know the

answer to this, but

I do these charity

events, at a soup kitchen.

Which one are they at?

- Northside Mission.

- Northside Mission.

- Mm.

Small world.

- Are you gonna

start the soup soon?

We got people who rely

on us to feed them.

- Yeah, yeah, it's just

that Viggo doesn't like

sweet desserts,

and everything I do

comes with a diabetes warning.

- Which one did he go for,

single Jew drop

in a thorny leaf,

served in a pond of pixie jizz?

Hobos are gonna love that.

- Can you please not

use that word again?

- Jizz?

Oh, oh you mean, oh.

- I'm just trying to

complement his menu.

- No, you're trying to

guess what Viggo wants

as opposed to listening

to your intuition.

I'd recognize that

bickering family anywhere.

Oh God no.

- That's no way to

welcome an old friend.

What's up, Terry?

Diana, welcome home.

- Hey, thanks, yeah.

I'm not home home, though.

- No, I know. You're opening a

restaurant with Viggo Jansen.

Harry's at my new joint

right now having lunch.

I haven't seen that

kid since I was

apprenticing for his

dad in London.

- Harry's there now?

Mm-hm.

- Cool.

- Hey, Nayani told

me what happened.

Hectic, guns,

dead bird, cops.

Sounds like my kinda

party.

- Ben puts on a monthly

fundraising lunch here.

- Yeah, the looks

on people's faces

when they taste something

truly special, it's humbling.

- Kid, could we help

you with something.

We're kind of in the middle of--

- No, no, I just

wanted to be the first

to come here and

commiserate with you.

- What?

- You're throwing in the towel.

I wanted to see the man

in action one last time.

- What makes you

think I'm retiring?

- I have my sources,

and you know,

you look, relaxed.

Hey, I'll get outta here.

Terry, keep an eye on

these crims for us, eh?

- What a prick.

And Nayani's got a big mouth.

- I know, right?

She's like the fricking

WikiLeaks of Uraidla.

- This soup kitchen's been

running for over 40 years

and we've never once not

served hot food to the needy.

We need to make soup. Now.

Fuck this.

- Really?

All right, forget him.

Okay, you start

prepping the pumpkins,

and I'll, I'll be

over in a minute.

- Welcome back, Chef.

- Shut up.

- Yes, Chef.

- Well done, mui bien, Denise.

- Look!

You are beyond help.

- I'm gonna teach you a

dance my dad taught me.

It's called the baby penguin.

I'll lead.

- You're still distracted.

I think you have

blockage up here.

Why do you want

to dance, Denise?

- We thought we could

do a wedding dance.

- Oh, wedding dance, beautiful.

Picture this, right.

Close your eyes.

You and Brett on the dance

floor alone, at your wedding.

Did you even try?

- I am trying.

- Yes, but it was disturbing.

Brett and I tried to get married

recently, but my daughter,

who ran away to London

after we told her

that her grandmother was dead

but wasn't actually dead,

she shot up our wedding,

and so everyone left

before the ceremony and

we didn't get married

and now I blame her.

- What? Your daughter shot

your mother at your wedding?

- This is ridiculous.

- Yeah, and I think I'm also

feeling guilty because part

of me organized the

wedding to get Diana back

to Australia in the first place.

- So you're not

gonna marry for love?

Yes, but I thought

I could kill more birds.

- Kill?

- Metaphorical birds.

- Okay, it's happening.

Loosening up?

- Yeah, I feel like--

- That's too much.

That's too much.

Less, less.

Less vigor. That's not meringue.

- That's it, baby.

Just have some fun.

See that?

That's my girlfriend.

Woo hoo!

- You're going to

have to fight him.

- What?

- Kwame?

- Hey, what's up?

- Mate, that curry,

proper well.

I mean yes, yes, bloody please.

- Thanks, I love that carp.

Such a hated species,

but you can really make

people love it again if

you just treat it right.

- You, sir, are an enigma.

Uraidla's best kept secret.

- It's really no secret.

- Well Diana certainly kept

still. I wonder why that is.

- I guess you'll

have to ask her.

- He knows.

- He totally knows.

- God, I wish he

wasn't such a nice guy.

Jesus, he left a $100 tip.

- Wow.

- What a wanker.

Okay, are

we ready for service?

- Ready.

- You guys start. I'll be ready.

- Wait, wait.

Always check for seasoning.

- Okay.

Well, it's bloody delicious.

- You okay?

- Fine.

- Need me to--

- No.

- You sure?

- This is actually what

I do for a living, so.

- Okay, right. Good, good.

- Someone said it

tastes like liquid gold.

♪ Thy kingdom come,

thy will be done ♪

♪ On Earth as it is in heaven ♪

Tastes like

liquid gold.

♪ Give us this day

our daily bread ♪

♪ Forgive us our trespasses ♪

♪ As we forgive those

who trespass against us ♪

♪ Forgive us our trespasses ♪

♪ Oh, Our Father

who art in heaven ♪

Liquid gold.

Liquid gold.

- Are you all right, mate?

- Mm-hm.

Apple crumble.

Wait, is that it?

Yeah, it's

Nordic.

- What's that?

It's Nordic.

- Can I have another?

Can I have another?

- No, listen, old trick of mine.

Grab a biscuit from

the coffee station

and wax some jam on it.

- The texture's like

phlegm.

There's absolutely no

relationship to who

you are as a chef.

The flavors are

very interesting.

- Interesting's not

gonna get these people

through a night in the

streets, though, is it?

- No.

It's Nordic.

- It went well then?

- Charity is exhausting.

Easton is exhausting.

Life is exhausting.

- We really need to get

this menu to Viggo pronto.

- Yeah, nearly there.

- Kwame cooked me lunch today.

- I heard.

How was that?

- Why didn't you tell me

that you and Kwame dated?

- Diana, can I have a word?

- Really, Mum, right now?

- Sorry, I just wanted to say

that I'm really proud of you

and I'm glad that you rebelled

by getting an amazing job

and a polite boyfriend

instead of a,

I don't know, a face tattoo.

- Thanks.

- Thanks.

- And I'm sorry for

everything.

- I'm sorry too, Mum.

- And

Yeah yeah.

- I wanna come inside.

Your, your house.

- He wore his whites.

- Yeah, and also, this

belittlement thing,

it was a massive turn-on,

but now it's starting

to wear a bit thin.

- Well, the thing is,

Easton, my house is a sacred

and private space, and

I'm very particular

about who comes inside.

- Yeah, I thought you'd say

that, which is why I'm here

to inform you that, (clears

throat), I'm going on strike.

- Don't you need a job for that?

- Sex.

Se, sex strike.

Until you let me

into your bedroom,

these sacred privates

are off limits.

Are you sure your

wrists can handle that?

Carpal tunnel, it's

a very serious issue

for the middle-aged man.

I'll hold out longer

than you will.

- Don't listen to your penis.

Don't listen to your penis.

- Shit.

- Yes!

- So this Jeremiah's a

little bit too pretentious.

- Yeah, he was 10.

- No, no, he wasn't 10.

He was 12, he was 12.

- He could really

meringue, though.

- I've always

wanted to meringue.

- Hello.

- Hello.

- I'm looking for Jim West.

- Oh, I'm sorry, Jim

passed last year.

- Oh, no no, I know that.

Jim Junior, Jimmy.

Denise? Is that you?

- Could I ask who's calling?

- I'm June, your mother.

Who is it, love?

- Wrong house!