Original subtitles

- You okay?

- No, I'm like really nervous.

- You're allowed to be.

- Do I look okay?

- I think we scrubbed

up all right,

considering we got changed

in an airport bathroom.

I can't say bathroom

anymore, dunny.

We got changed in

the airport dunnies.

- No, no.

Harry, no one

actually says dunnies.

- Is that bad?

- Harold?

While we're here,

please do not judge me

based off my insane

family, okay?

Because I am nothing like them.

- I'm English.

We invented bad families.

You've seen "The Crown."

- My family aren't

like mad, mad.

They're like, mad, mad.

Maybe we should have

stayed in London.

- Nonsense, we're going to have

a bloody spiffing good time.

- No, no, can we just sit here

for just a little bit longer?

- You're my main

squeeze, Denise.

You've got me on one knee

today, tomorrow, forever,

I'll tie myself to thee.

All I really wanna do is

just to love and hold ya,

and if you'll be my Marge,

I'll forever be your Homer.

You cannot reference

"The Simpsons"

in your wedding vows, you idiot-

- Bretty!

- Diana!

Diana!

Oh gosh, Diana!

Oh god, I love you!

- I love you too!

- I missed you!

- I missed you so much!

- Thank you for coming!

- Of course.

Harry, this is my Bretty.

- G'day.

- How's it, mate?

- So very pleased

to meet you, Brett.

- Oh wow, you're a

proper posh plum.

- I'm not that posh.

- Oh my god, please

tell me you are not

writing your wedding vows

like, right at the last minute.

- Like arriving at

your parents' wedding

an hour before it

starts last minute?

Yeah, I am.

Stuck on some words.

- Oh, Harry can help you out.

Yeah, he's like a grammar Nazi.

He could even translate

it into Latin for you,

and make it sound real sexy.

- See?

- No, it's a poem and it's

gotta be from me, in English.

- Oh, I'm sure it'll be

a Homeric masterpiece.

- How did you?

- Hey, where's Mum?

- She's getting ready

inside the house.

- Oh, I'll go say hi, but I'm

really, really, really glad

you guys have finally

decided to tie the knot.

And that you've moved

into Pop's place.

- I'm so glad you're back!

- Bye.

- How's it?

- Hey.

- No more Simpsons.

You're my main squeeze, Denise.

- Brett is lovely.

- Yeah, Brett is the sane one.

You wait 'til you

meet the others.

- Oh, it's Viggo.

- No.

- Shall I get it?

- It's gonna be about the menu.

It is a day late.

Viggo, g'day mate,

how's it going?

That's what I was

just saying to her.

Yeah, she's actually working

on it right now, yeah.

There's not much

service here, though.

Yeah.

Yeah, she's actually working

on it right now, yeah.

No, no, she's getting

straight into it.

I'll let you know, all right?

Bye.

Di, you really need to

deliver your menu, okay?

- Great, let's go see Mum.

Nice package.

- Why do you always do that?

- What?

- Just appear like Nosferatu.

Why can't you say hello,

exchange a pleasantry?

- Like what?

- I don't know.

Your hair looks nice?

- Thank you.

This is my last

box of 2019 pinot.

Who do I send the invoice to?

- Not me.

- Such a shame having a

Michelin star chef around,

refusing to cater

the family function.

- Well, Denise understands

I've given up the game.

I'm happier than I've ever been.

- Really, brewing beer?

- Yeah, just about finished

my micro-micro

brewery in my bedroom.

- Maybe it's time I stepped

into your pleasure chamber.

It must get a bit

lonely up here.

- No.

Yeah, well maybe a bit,

if that's what you're...

Why don't you ever

just say what you mean?

You wanna have

sex in my bedroom?

- Do I?

- Yes.

Yes you do, and I consent,

or whatever it is you're

supposed to say these days.

Just, just need

to some more beer.

- Okay, all right.

- On my one knee, my squeeze.

Gita?

- Hey, cuz.

- Oh Tammy, you okay?

- Yeah, no, yeah.

Hey, newbie celebrant alert.

I forgot to ask you

a few questions.

One, what music do you

want the pianist to play

when the bride arrives?

Two, I hired two cockatoos

to act as a symbol of love.

Can we put that on your invoice?

Three-

- Tammy, sorry.

I'm still writing my vows.

Could you make some

executive decisions for me,

buy me some time?

- Will do.

- Thank you.

- Executive decisions,

invoice for birds.

- You're my main

squeeze, Denise.

- Knock knock!

May we enter the

matrimonial chamber?

- Diana.

- Hi, Mum.

It's good to see you.

- Hi.

- Oh don't cry, please.

You'll ruin your eyeliner.

I'll come and see,

give you a kiss.

Here you go.

Wow, I love the suit!

It's very, very Ellen, you know?

Pre-cancellation.

- It creases the moment I move.

Brett chose it, of course.

He's got a better

eye than I have.

Yeah.

- Delighted to meet you, Denise.

- Oh my god.

- I'm Harry.

- I'm so sorry.

Diana's told

me so much about you all.

- Oh, that was like a line

out of a Hugh Grant movie.

Look at you both!

I'm just so happy

that you're all here.

- Congrats to you, Denise.

- Yeah, cheers!

- Cheers!

- Thank you.

- Oh my god, Nayani, what?

- Hey.

What are

you doing down there?

- Hems.

Supposed to be

catering for Kwame.

- Kwame's here?

- Yeah.

- Cool, how have you been?

Oh my god, it's been a minute.

- Yeah, nice for you

to stay in touch.

- Yeah, you too, yeah.

Well, I'm sure I look terrible.

We just got back from

a couple days in Qatar.

That was really fun, wasn't it?

Oh my god, the

hotel we stayed at?

Ridonk!

It had this amazing

rooftop bar, it was crazy.

And Harry's family owns

a couple of Michelin star

restaurants in London,

and he's just about

to open one himself,

and I'm gonna be

doing the pastries,

so that's really exciting.

Oh my god!

And our place in

Camden, our terrace?

So beautiful, and

what's her name, babe?

Baby Spice, I always

forget, lives downstairs.

- Emma.

- Emma!

Emma lives downstairs,

and she's so nice in

person, oh my god.

- Thanks for the update

I didn't even ask for.

- Mum, why didn't you

ask me to help out?

I could've baked the cake.

That's like, what I do.

Here, I'll do the

hems, here you go.

- Well, you booked your flight

to get in so close

to the ceremony, so.

- And you can't sew.

- I can so sew.

- Okay.

I didn't actually give it-

- It's really weird

that you're holding onto

it so tightly, give.

- No.

- Give it!

I am so sorry, Mum.

- No, no, no, honey, it's fine.

Have a rest, go and take

Harry to the new guestroom.

Harry, it's so lovely

that you're here.

Diana, if you see Brett,

could you ask him

to pop his head in?

- Yeah.

- Good.

- I am so sorry, Mum.

- All good.

What the hell am I gonna wear?

- Shit.

- Are you okay?

- I can't believe what

Nayani was saying.

- Which bit?

- Well she didn't

say it out loud,

but I could hear

everything she's thinking,

and Mum having a go

because our plane was late?

It's like, sorry that I

have my own life now, Mum.

You know what I mean?

- Weddings are stressful,

but everyone seems lovely.

- No, no, Harry!

No, my beautiful British weirdo,

everyone's crazy.

They're just pretending,

because you're here.

As soon as you leave, out

comes Jekyll, or Hyde,

or whoever the fucked one was.

- Jekyll, yeah.

- Look, I'll prove it to you.

- Quick.

- Oh grow up, Easton.

- Why are you laughing?

- Nothing, I'm just happy.

- Diana.

- Margot.

The

dessert queen returns.

- Good to see you.

- And?

- This is Harry, my boyfriend.

- Harry.

- Harry is a restaurateur.

His family runs just like

a tiny empire in London

through Michelin stars.

You heard of Saria's?

- Of course.

- Yes, that's

theirs, no big deal.

He's really successful, kind

of like how you used to be.

- Such a pleasure, Easton.

I'm a massive fan.

My father says to say hello.

- Dicky Saraf's son?

You look just like him.

Well, he is

bald now, actually.

- Oh.

- You know, we had

all of your books

in our house growing up.

If there's one

thing I cannot stand it's...

Cover up their insecurities.

- It's like seeing a unicorn.

I mean, I know you're related,

but meeting him

in the flesh, wow.

I can't believe he's

not cooking anymore.

- What do you mean he's

not cooking anymore?

- Well, he just said that.

He's never been happier.

- Oh god, I feel faint.

- Di, you need to eat.

You know how you get when

your blood sugar's low.

I'll find you a snack.

- Okay.

- Di, I'm in trouble.

I need your help, the

words aren't coming.

I'm gonna sound like an idiot.

I am an idiot for

leaving it this late.

- I'm an idiot too, Bretty.

I spilled OJ all over

Mum's white suit.

- White suit?

- Yep.

- Oh no.

- And everyone's acting

really weird, Brett.

- Is she gonna need my help?

She's not good with clothes.

- I'm so hungry.

- Brett, can I

have a quick word?

- Tam, I'm up to my neck.

- I cannot do the ceremony.

- What, what, why?

- Uncle Warren, he's

a ship's captain.

He can legally marry people.

- He owns a kayak.

Tammy, what are

you talking about?

- It's the responsibility

of binding you together

for all eternity, Brett.

It's set off my anxiety.

- Uncle Warren!

- Hazzy-wazzy, did

you get me a snack?

- Sorry, I got talking to Kwame.

You guys are friends, I hear.

- Hi, Kwame.

- Hi, Diana.

How do you

two know each other?

- Um, we were...

- Fruit pickers,

we picked fruit.

Cherries, plucking

cherries, last summer.

- Ah, the famous Urawa produce.

- Mm-hmm.

Di, Kwame's a bit

behind with the hors d'oeuvres,

so I'm gonna jump

in and lend a hand.

- Oh no, you don't need to-

- Nonsense, I was

raised in kitchens.

- Well, I'll help too.

I can help.

- No, no, no, I

think you need to go

and have a little

lie down, you know,

knock the jet lag on the head.

Maybe take some fruit.

Are your eyelashes?

- Yeah.

Yeah, sorry mate.

Yeah, you were saying

about the asparagus,

'cause I really like that.

Yeah.

- I add the yeast to the wort,

and that metabolizes

with the sugar

and produces the alcohol

and the carbon dioxide,

and that's when the real magic

of the micro-micro

brewery happens.

- You know, you really

should have a chat to Diana,

for both your sakes.

- I know, it's fine.

- You haven't been fine since

the restaurant got shut down,

and she left you for England.

- We haven't got much

time if you still wanna...

Just leave my shirt

on, just to save time.

- Oh my god, I'm sorry.

I thought this was our

room, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Ew, ew, ew, ew.

Yuck, ew, ew.

- You know, maybe what you

need to start manifesting

is a raison d'etre.

Or a job.

- Where are you going?

- Oh, I'm just gonna

go and have a word

to the super

perverted part of me

that wanted to see the

inside of your room.

You do realize you

just spent 15 minutes

explaining the fermentation

process to a winemaker.

- Hi, thanks for coming.

I need a stiff

one, a stiff drink!

Do you do shots?

- No, I could put some

house wine in a small cup?

There was a nice local

pinot, but that's all gone

and the other one they

selected, kinda nasty.

I would actually

go for the beer.

Yeah, boozier than a

politician's lunch hour.

Yeah, it's actually

crafted right here on site

at the micro-micro

brewery by Easton West.

The celebrity chef, you know?

- No, no I've

never heard of him.

- Okay.

Um.

- I bet you missed

me, hey Poppy?

TBH, I don't even know why

I bothered coming back.

It's not like any of

these living douchenozzles

even give a crusty

crap, know what I mean?

Up your bum, you old bastard.

- Cuz, cuz, all I could

find is a used sandwich bag.

Yes, oh good.

Oh, good.

Okay, I've gotta

get help to Denise.

Fashion is her Achilles' heel.

What?

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.

- Sesame seed!

Saved my life, Brett.

- I've really gotta go.

- It was all the

talk of eternity that

was setting me off.

- Listen, listen,

listen, listen.

Denise and I are gonna

be together forever,

whether we get married or not.

This marriage thing is just

a public declaration of love.

We just need your help with

a bit of the admin, right?

Right, cuz?

- All right.

- Ooh, yeah.

- I need to do this.

- You need to do this.

- I can do this.

- You can do this.

- I will do this.

- You will do this.

Come on.

Come on, cuz, come on, come on.

- I got your back, brother.

Thanks.

- Okay, I really have to go.

- Where are you going, doofus?

The ceremony's about to start.

- What, then...

- I picked a classic

for you, bro.

- Where's Brett?

- We've tried everything.

- Oh my god, Nayani.

I can hear the pianist.

- You've got a wedding dress?

- No, no, no, no, no.

No, I can't wear that.

That was Mum's.

- Why, it's kind of romantic.

- Their marriage

ended very badly,

and my father's

picture is out there.

It'll be bad juju if

he sees this dress.

- Well right now, it's a choice

between the wedding dress juju,

the Ellen suit covered

in orange juju,

or whatever that

is you've got on.

We have about two

minutes, no pressure.

- It's all right, I nod

off at weddings too.

- You're back, I missed you.

You were gone for

hours and hours.

- About 20 minutes.

- What did Kwame say?

- Oh, lovely guy.

Just a bit of industry banter.

- Oh there we go, it's industry.

Are you gonna drink

the rest of your wine?

'Cause I ran out before.

- Feeling all right, doll?

- Yeah babe, I'm fine,

great, excellent, good.

- Ladies and gentlemen,

I give you the lovebirds,

Ringo and Paul.

- What?

- And also, Brett and Denise.

- Oh my god, what

is she wearing?

Oh, wow.

- And why is he giving Mum away?

- Diana.

- Wow love, you

look so bridally.

- Diana stabbed me with a pin

and I spilled drink all

over the white suit, so.

- You look beautiful.

- Thanks.

- Could you move?

I'd like to be on the

end for the tribute.

Yeah.

- What tribute?

- Sh.

- Friends and family, we

would like to acknowledge

that we are meeting here

today on the shared lands

of the Peramangk

and Kaurna peoples,

and pay our respects to elders

past, present, and emerging.

My name is Tammy Fraser.

Brett Fraser is my cousin, and

what a silver fox he is, eh?

- Woo, go Bretty!

- Brett really is the

slightly less successful,

but equally loved George

Clooney of our mob.

- What I don't understand

is why you get to go up

and do official business,

and I've got to sit here

looking like a peach sorbet?

- Just don't make it

all about you, Diana.

- Play nice, you two, play nice.

- Before we start the

vows, as a mark of respect,

Easton West will fire one round

from the shotgun of

Denise's father, Jim.

- What?

- Wow.

- No!

- Wow.

- No, I was Pop's favorite.

I'll do it.

- Diana.

I oughta do it.

- Yeah!

I was jet lagged.

- This is a code of conduct

for your two weeks'

community service

you'll be doing in

our soup kitchen.

If one of you doesn't turn up,

fails to make a meal,

or in any way disrespects

a member of our community,

more time will be added to

both your firearm sentences.

- Um, I've gotta get

back to London, so.

- Well, don't mess up,

or you'll end up cooking

us Christmas lunch.

Which is a lot of fun, actually.

My dog Monty and

I both dress up.

- Aw, cute.

- Is there a problem, Easton?

- Sign it.

Hey.

Can you just, look

yes, you hate me

and truly, vice versa,

but we just need to get along

until we finish at

the soup kitchen.

- You just stay away from me.

I find you triggering.

- I'm triggering?

Oh my god, Easton,

you are insane.

You and Denise lied about

my grandmother being dead,

treated me like shit

in my own kitchen,

practically drove

me out of town.

I come back, and there's

not even an apology.

That is what is insane.

- I'm not sure if

you're noticed,

but we've moved

on with our lives.

We were perfectly happy until

you stepped off that plane

with your meticulously

manscaped boyfriend.

He's everything you

used to be, Easton.

Well, he's not.

He's a rich kid, whose

rich wanker father

handed him everything.

The only thing that's

insane around here is you.

- I was jet lagged.

Dickweed.

- For an animal

riddled with chlamydia,

koalas are actually quite cute.

Although to be honest with you,

I actually think

emus are my favorite.

I mean, look.

It's so nice of your folks

to take me out, you know?

Such a shame you couldn't come.

- Harry?

Did I act insane at the wedding?

- You were jet lagged.

- So I did?

- You were nervous about

seeing your family,

and you drank 15 mimosas.

- I literally shot a cockatoo,

and my parents hate me,

and Easton wants to

kill me in my sleep.

- Well, the ranger said the

cockatoo's gonna be fine.

One of them is.

- I know we didn't get married,

but I'd still like

to hear your vows.

What were you gonna say?

- Um.

- Denise.

- Mm.

- I've been thinking.

- What?

- The guest bedroom.

When Harry and Diana leave,

maybe I could take it.

- It's a guest bedroom,

it's for guests.

- My room is so dark, and moist.

- I'll buy a dehumidifier.

- We'll think about it, Easton.

- I'll see you in the morning.

- Yeah.

- Night.

- Goodnight.

- No, no, no, no,

no, no, no, Denise!

- Brett, he's my brother.

- We have to kick

him out the nest.

He might land on his face

and get eaten by a goanna,

but that's how nature

works, it's cruel.

- He's been a bit lost

since the restaurant folded,

and Diana leaving, and-

- Jim left you the house.

We need some us time.

- Yeah, I know.

But I want him to

make his own decision.

Goodnight.

- Look, everyone

has their off days.

Maybe you just need to

be the bigger person.

Apologize to Easton and Denise.

Lead by example.

- Night.

- Nighty-night, chef.

Nighty-night,

shit gibbon.

- Di?

You and Easton only need to

survive together for two weeks.

- Yeah, I know.

The priest lady said we have

to follow their recipe, so.

- I bet Jesus didn't serve

his fish without seasoning.

A wedge of lemon.

- Maybe I could add in cream?

- This whole thing's ridiculous,

let's just get her

over and done with.

- No, I'm not done.

- It's done, we're serving.

- Easton, you

refused to help cook,

so it's my soup.

- You're causing another scene.

- I'm causing the scene?

You're causing the scene,

you gaslighting gonad.

- If it wasn't for

your toddler tantrum,

I wouldn't be here

in the first place!

- Oh god, I hate you!

- Yeah, ditto!

- Give it.

- Fine, have your slop!

- Needs salt.