All language subtitles for before.2024.s01e01.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[EZTVx.to]-NH

Okay. All right. There. Go ahead. There.

Right.

Geez.

What's with the farmhouse?

Just some picture I found. It's--

Really?

Where?

I can't-- I don't r-- I don't remember.
It's just...

You know, your roses are really th...

...thriving.

Lynn?

Hey.

What's your name?

Do you live around here?

Are you with anybody?

Hey. Hey. Hey, come back here!

Hey, kid!

Watch it!

So, what's new?

Uh, nothing much.

I, uh, woke up,
brushed my teeth, made coffee.

Oh.

Oh, and then I found a small boy

scratching his fingers bloody
on my front door.

When I went to help him,
he ran out into the street

and almost got hit by a car.

- Former patient or...
- No, total stranger.

That's weird, right?

My life has turned into a Dalí painting.

Why are you here, Eli?

Is that an existential question?

No, it's a practical one.

Every week you show up voluntarily

only to spend the whole 50 minutes
talking about...

...well, pretty much anything
other than how you really feel.

Or maybe there's just nothing to say.

Or maybe you're in denial.

Of course I'm in denial.

I'm supposed to be in denial,
but it won't last.

So, can't I just enjoy it for now?

Are you enjoying it?

Not especially.

Look, under the circumstances,

- it's perfectly normal to feel--
- What?

Angry, sad, confused?

Sure. All of the above.

Yeah. Well, how about inconvenienced?

Like this whole situation
she created is very inconvenient.

I mean, I can't even use
the hall bathroom anymore.

And by she you mean your wife, Lynn?

I don't wanna talk about my wife.

Okay, let's talk about
how you don't wanna talk about that.

How does not talking about it
make you feel?

Fantastic. It makes me feel
fucking fantastic.

So how's work?

It's-- It's fine.

Why are you downplaying what you do?

I mean, you've had an incredibly long
and successful career

helping troubled kids.

I don't think I can do it anymore.

Lynn?

- Hello.
- Jesus,

I can't believe I finally got you.
I left, like, five messages.

Are you there? It's Gail.

Yeah. Yeah.
Hi-- Yeah. Hi, Gail, I'm here.

Look, look, I'm sorry to be stalking you,

but I've got this kid, the court is making
a decision and--

Gail, I don't think I can take on
anything new right now.

Just hear me out. This is
a unique situation. It's different.

Uh, I-I gotta go.

I-- I emailed a file.
At least just take a look?

Uh, goodbye.

What?

"History of aggressive behavior.

Oppositional defiant.

Repeated expulsions from schools."

"Fourth placement
particularly troublesome."

Hmm.

You do this often?

Sneak in through people's dog doors?

Do you know your phone number?

Or do you think you could tell me
where you live?

Okay.

We've really got to figure out
where you live,

because your parents must be
really worried about you, okay?

So I'm gonna make a phone call.

911. What is your emergency?

Well, I would--

I-- I made a mistake.

Is this where you live?

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, my God.

- Don't you dare move or I swear to God!
- No! No!

What are you doing in my apartment?

He brought me here! Is that your son?

What?

Noah? Come here.

What happened? What are you doing?

He was in my house.

Did you leave the house
while I was sleeping?

I mean, you've got to understand,

a strange man comes
into my house late at night and--

I know. I know. I know.

Never even used Mace before.
I didn't know if it would work.

Oh, it works. Yeah. Believe me. It works.

My eyes feel like I rolled them
in a bowl of broken glass.

Sorry.

Oh, God. That kid is going to be
the death of me.

I mean, don't get me wrong.
I'm crazy about him.

You should see him
when he's not freaking out.

He is the sweetest kid
in the entire world.

Does he talk?

- Not lately.
- Hmm.

He used to, but I don't know
what's going on with him.

And he's had tons of diagnoses,
but nothing seems to help and I'm--

You don't want to hear all this.
I'm sure it sounds crazy to you.

I've heard worse.

Noah. Come say sorry, please.

Noah.

Hey.

You wanna come say sorry to Mr...

- Uh, Eli.
- Eli.

That's my house.

Really?

It's kinda his thing. Drawing.
Pretty impressive, huh?

Hey, buddy.

I'm feeling a little lonely.
Can I sleep with you tonight?

All right.

Let's get teddy. Here you go.

Okay.

Yeah.

Noah?

You can't leave the house at night, okay?

Or any other time without me.

You understand?

Yeah?

Okay.

Love you.

Look, you know me.
Has this ever happened to you?

Feeling like you're
in somebody else's dream?

Constantly.

Like right now I feel like I'm a butterfly
dreaming I'm a man.

- They let you smoke that in here.
- What?

- I-It's medicinal.
- Uh-huh.

- Are you gonna eat that?
- No, no. Go ahead.

So, who is this kid, anyway? Client?

No, he just showed up on his own
out of nowhere.

Maybe you're connected.
You know, spiritually.

- You say you never met before.
- No, don't start with that shit.

- What shit?
- You know what I'm talking about.

Half the cultures on this planet
believe in some kind of spiritual world,

some kind of continuity of existence.

Right, because people will cling to any
half-assed theory about a spiritual world

in order to avoid facing the truth.

There's never been a shred
of scientific evidence

that there's life after death.

Once people are gone, they're gone.

Gee, Eli, tell me how you really feel.

I don't feel anything.

I'm in denial. Haven't you heard?

Maybe you need
something more than therapy.

Like what?

Ayahuasca.

- I gotta go. Nice talking to you.
- No, no, no.

- Uh, my shaman. He's--
- Yeah, say hi to your shaman.

Wish him a happy 1969 for me.

Thank you so much for agreeing to do this.

How else was I gonna get you
to stop hounding me?

Did you check the file?

A little. But you know,
I like to go in fresh.

Okay.

Okay, here he is.

Eli, this is Noah.

Wait, what?

He showed up
at my house, Gail. Twice.

Well, maybe it's a sign.

Are you kidding me right now?

Look, Eli, I can't explain
how he showed up at your house, okay?

But this child has been through
five foster families in two years.

He is out of options.

The county eval is gonna get him
sent straight to state hospital.

But what if he can still be helped?

What if it's not too late for him?

So, you'll do it?

Your foster mom said
I could talk to you.

So, is it okay if we talk?

Hey, you wanna see something cool?

It's in this hand. Now it's in this hand.

Now, where did it go?

I see it. There it is. Where is it?
There it is.

You like trains?

Yeah, me too.

Do you have any trains where you live?

Noah, you keep coming to my house.

Do you have any idea why?

Do you know this place somehow?

Does it remind you of something?

Oh. You know, my wife wrote that book.

She's an artist.

She was an artist. Just like you.

What's wrong?

Noah, what's wrong?

Noah, what is it?

Noah.

Noah, what's happening?

Noah, what is it?

What is it? It's okay. I'm here.

What's happening? What's going on?

- What did you do to him?
- Something triggered him.

- It's okay, I got it. I got it! I got it.
- All right.

Baby-- Baby, come here. Come here.
Look at me. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Okay? You're okay.

Get it together, Eli.

Lynn.

I can't take much more of this.

"Colorless green ideas sleep furiously."

There are two distinct levels
of language processing at play here.

- Hi.
- Eli, what are you doing here?

- Yeah.
- Are you okay?

Yeah. Drake,
I-I-I want you to listen to this.

What am I listening to?

This is me in session
with an eight-year-old boy, all right.

I wanna find out what he's saying.

Um, that's not in any language
that I recognize, if that's what you mean.

- But-But it could be a-- a language, yes?
- I guess.

How would I find that out?

Well, what you need is a link
to a special translator.

- Great. Could you get that for me?
- I'll try.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

And that's an eight-year-old boy?

Yeah, it sounds like he's trying
to tell me something, don't you think?

Maybe the kid knows Swahili or something.

I'm not a linguistics expert.

He doesn't know Swahili.
He's eight years old.

I don't get it. You should be excited.

- You used to love shit like this.
- Yeah, well, it's...

What?

Remember in grad school,
I wrote that paper on Capgras syndrome?

It's this disorder
where the people you're closest to

all seem to have been replaced
by impostors.

But it's really you.

You're the impostor.

It's a kind of dissociation.

You suffer a shock to your reality

and, suddenly,
you're on the outside looking in.

And that's me.

I'm the impostor.

I don't get it.

How am I supposed to help anybody
when I couldn't even help my own wife?

Eli, you're still in there.

You just gotta find a way
to bust back out.

- Who?
- Who what?

Who shoved you?

I don't know. I didn't s--
I didn't see a face.

But you know who it was, right?

Forget about it. It was just a dream.

I don't think it was just a dream at all.

I think it's one of the most revealing
things you've said to me in this room.

Really? How so?

In this dream you keep having,
you don't die.

You just break every bone
in your body so you can't move.

You're stuck. You're a broken,
shattered man.

And I think it's because
you're unwilling to admit

how you feel, really,
about Lynn's suicide.

I think you're afraid to even look at it.

Shit.

Oh, goddamn it. Larry!

Fucking-- Damn it!

Dog will be fun. God, piece of shit.

Oh, goddamn it. Fuck.

I'm scared. Save me.
Please save me.

I'm scared. Save me. Please save me.

I'm scared.

I have to talk to Noah.

I'm here to see a patient. Noah Sawyer.

- Where is he?
- I was just checking on him a minute ago.

Goddamn it.

Noah?

Noah?

Noah.

It's okay.

You're safe now.

"I will help you."

"...help you."

Noah,
what are you so afraid of?

Do you know?

Fuck.