Original subtitles

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[joyful music]

Odie, there's supposed to be food on this table.

Do you see any food on this table?

[Odie muttering]

I have a horrible feeling.

I know what Jon's doing instead of making our lunch.

[Hal on TV] And if you act right now,

this lovely possum waxer can be yours!

Finally, you can wax your possum

with the possum waxer the professionals use!

Oh, no!

He's watching the All-Buying-Stuff Channel again.

I don't have a possum.

But if I did, I'd certainly make sure it was professionally waxed.

I've got to stop Jon from wasting all his money on junk like that.

Money he could be putting to better use, like...

feeding his cat.

Hello, All-Buying-Stuff Channel?

I'd like to order ten possum waxers.

[tuba]

[Jon screaming]

[Odie muttering]

Where did I get the tuba?

Jon bought it from the TV channel.

He also bought an automatic on-off machine.

It turns itself on, then it turns itself off.

Then it turns itself on, then it turns itself off.

Then it turns itself on...

This is all it does. Then it turns itself off.

Here's a two-year supply of helium-filled sweat socks.

That's useful.

And this is a life-size statue of Harlow P. Entwhistle,

the inventor of the waterproof sponge.

Oh! Thanks for stopping me, Garfield.

I almost bought something useless and expensive.

-And not even edible. -[Odie barking]

I'm going to do something to make sure that never happens again!

I'm going to turn off that channel!

And you'll love our next item.

It's a cooling device that requires no electricity!

I don't have a cooling device that uses no electricity.

Too hot?

Just use your portable cooling device

that uses no electricity.

Call now to order yours!

I must call now to order mine.

No! No!

You must resist! Stop!

And remember!

You still have time to order

this exquisite diamond-studded flea collar!

[barking]

[Odie muttering]

[Garfield] No, stop!

You can't buy every stupid thing they offer on TV!

[screaming] [crashing]

They sell junk! They sell garbage!

[Hal] How would you like to press a button and have a fresh and hot pizza

in less than thirty minutes?

Meet

the Magnificent Mozzarella Machine.

They sell the greatest scientific breakthrough in the history of mankind.

Press this red button,

follow directions, and in just one half hour,

you'll be feasting on pizza just the way you like it.

Magnificent Mozzarella Machine.

Isn't science wonderful?

Must have Magnificent Mozzarella Machine.

That's right, I want to order a cooling device

that uses no electricity.

Oh, and a Magnificent Mozzarella Machine.

-[Odie barking] -Oh, right!

And for my dog, a diamond-studded flea collar!

I'll give you my credit card number.

Now, Odie,

it takes time for these things to arrive

so don't get impatient.

[Odie muttering]

Where is it? I want it!

Why isn't it here?

I want it now, now, now!

[sighing]

[Odie moaning]

[Garfield sighing]

-Oh! -[truck door slamming]

[Garfield laughing]

Here's my cooling device that uses no electricity.

Gee, I wonder how it makes things cold.

Oh! All it is is a giant ice cube!

[Odie growling impatiently]

[disappointed moaning]

Odie, where's your exquisite diamond-studded flea collar?

[Odie muttering]

What's this?

"Instructions for exquisite diamond-studded flea collar:

Put collar on flea."

A flea collar that goes on the flea?

That's a rip-off.

[Odie angrily muttering]

Hey, you guys are just mad because you ordered the wrong things.

I'm going to use my Magnificent Mozzarella Machine

to whip up the pizza of my dreams.

"Press red button, follow directions.

In just one half hour,

you will have pizza just the way you like it."

Woohoo!

Here it goes.

"Call Vito's Pizzeria - 555-7392.

They deliver."

Excuse me.

I have to go register a serious complaint!

[dramatic music]

I've seen their ads.

They promise that if you're not satisfied,

they'll cheerfully refund your money.

[laughing] A refund! He wants a refund!

[laughing loudly]

[laughing] He thinks we'll give him his money back!

[laughing loudly]

Well, at least they're cheerful.

There must be someone here who'll take this junk back.

[laughing loudly]

Hey, that cat went inside!

He expects a refund!

Nobody's ever gotten a refund around here!

[show tune]

Don't delay, folks!

Hurry right now and order this spectacular

Internet-ready cheese straightener!

[duck cackling]

Are we off the air? [music stops] Good!

Sold another couple thousand pieces of junk, boss.

Good work, Hal.

Hey, what's going on?

Some cat got into the studio.

He wants a refund for something.

[both] Refund?

[laughing]

There he is!

[chase music]

[screeching]

[screaming] [bowling strike]

Here's the only thing this is good for.

[rock music]

"Shipping department."

Let's see what's in here.

I've got to find whoever's in charge of this TV station.

Maybe he can... [gasping]

Oh, no!

Bubble wrap!

It's impossible to see bubble wrap and not do this.

[bubble wrap popping]

[screeching]

I think he went into the shipping department.

[bubble wrap popping]

So, what's the next bit of overpriced garbage I get to sell?

This, I'm calling it the Awesome Audio Appliance.

It records and plays any music or speech.

You'll say it's computerized

and digital and high-tech but really,

it's an old tape recorder.

I bought a ton of them from a junkyard.

They'll record and play but not for long.

But basically, it's another piece of junk.

Everything we sell on this station is a piece of junk.

-The idiots out there never catch on. -[wooden floor cracking]

Hey! There's the cat they're looking for!

[upbeat music]

[bowling strike]

[screeching]

[bubble wrap popping]

[rock music]

I think I lost them!

[screeching] [screaming]

I think they found me!

Ah, got him!

Let's take him to the boss.

You can't live without one of these Awesome Audio Appliances.

Odie, if I've learned one thing,

I'm never ordering again

from the All-Buying-Stuff Channel. -[Odie barking]

They sell shoddy merchandise and they lie and...

Gee, that audio thing they're selling looks awfully cool.

[Odie muttering]

-We caught the cat, boss. -What should we do with him?

Throw him out, and don't give him his money back.

I never give anyone their money back, and you know why?

Because people are stupid.

They never catch on that the stuff I sell is garbage.

This Awesome Audio Appliance

plays the most beautiful music.

Listen.

[recorded Hal] But basically, it's another piece of junk.

[recorded boss] Everything we sell on this station is a piece of junk.

The idiots out there never catch on.

I have a feeling they'll catch on now.

I'll give you a refund, cat.

Just get out of here.

I'll go.

But there's something else I want.

The police received so many complaints

about the All-Buying-Stuff Channel, they're investigating.

The owner must refund everyone or go to jail.

[Odie barking]

Oh, it was nothing.

The only thing is, well...

I kind of enjoyed watching that station.

Now that it's off the air, I don't know what to do.

I wouldn't leave 'til they gave me a 3 year supply of bubble wrap.

[bubble wrap popping]

This is more fun than watching the All-Buying-Stuff Channel.

[Garfield] And a whole lot cheaper.

[bubble wrap popping] [Odie barking]

-Odie you just did two! -[Odie moaning]

[bubble wrap popping]

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR