Original subtitles

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[chewing]

[Jon] I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!

I'm cooking as fast as I can!

No matter how much I feed him, he's still hungry!

Meat loaf! I need to make another meat loaf!

[man] Six!

Six meat loaves!

[man] And French fries! Shoestrings, not thick cut!

Admit it, you thought that was me inside being fed.

[sighing] Wish it was.

My position in life has been usurped.

That's a fancy word meaning "stolen."

And you know who stole it? This guy.

Eddie Gourmand, the famous restaurant critic.

You remember him, he was on six episodes last season.

You see, he lost his TV show and...

Well, I'll start at the top.

It started with one of my favorite TV shows.

[Eddie on TV] At Boticelli's Italian Bistro,

they have a whole new way of making lasagna.

[Garfield narrating] Lasagna didn't need improvement.

It was perfect the way it was.

They also have a lovely rigatoni bolognese.

And the cannelloni stuffed with mozzarella!

[Garfield narrating] An hour of fattening foods.

Who wouldn't consider this must-see television?

Amazingly, the guy who ran the TV station.

[Mr. Gourmand] This food is just to die from.

It sure is!

All those calories.

All that cholesterol.

Right after the show, Eddie got the bad news.

But why?

Mr. Station Manager, sir, why?

Because people shouldn't be eating

the kind of fattening meals you encourage.

They should be eating what I eat:

vegan chicken made out of soybeans, brown rice,

organic sprouts, with a wheat germ shake mixed with goat's milk yogurt.

Uh, if I could just ask one tiny question.

Is any of this food?

[screaming] Of course, it's food!

It's good food, healthy food!

The kind of food that makes your body say:

"Thank you for taking such good care of me."

Well, I suppose if you melted some cheese over it and deep-fried it...

Gourmand! Do you know what people wind up

looking like when they eat the food you recommend?

No. What?

This!

[Garfield] And so, Eddie Gourmand was replaced.

[screaming]

The program normally seen in this time slot

"Simply Fabulous Dining with Eddie Gourmand"

will never be seen again.

So we can bring you this new,

much-better-for-you program.

Good evening.

Tonight, I'd like to talk to you about the benefits of eating tofu.

There are none.

[Garfield] And so, he was fired.

The guy took it hard.

This went on for days and days.

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

Here you go, Mr. Gourmand.

One nice, hot Vito's special, just for you.

Oh, thank you, Vito.

That was the most delicious pizza I ever ate.

[laughing]

Then, maybe you mention Vito's Pizzeria on your show some time?

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[Garfield] Finally, Eddie wound up where all people

who can't control their emotions wind up,

sitting behind me in a movie.

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[all] Shhhh!

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[Garfield] After the ruining the film and getting tears in my popcorn,

he apologized.

I've been like this since I lost my show, Mr. Arbuckle.

[Odie muttering sadly]

Feeling sorry for the guy, pup?

Yeah, me too.

I hope Jon doesn't do something foolish like invite him over for dinner.

Eddie, come over tonight and have dinner with us.

[screaming]

Oh, that would be too, too wonderful, Mr. Arbuckle.

Great. I'll even make my special recipe for meat loaf.

Hey, doesn't that poor guy have enough problems?

[Garfield] That evening, Jon learned why you should never invite

a food critic to your house.

Everything looks positively scrumpti-li-cious, Mr. Arbuckle.

Oh, this meat loaf looks good enough to eat.

Some of this and some of this.

And then I'll have this...

Oh, this is utterly divine!

[suction sound]

[machine gun sound]

Odie, are you getting any food?

[gurgling]

Me neither.

Let's go.

Another good reason never to invite a food critic to dinner:

they tend to rate what they eat.

I give the meat loaf two stars.

The mashed potatoes needed more butter, so they get one star.

But four stars for the gravy!

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the gravy.

You could have used more flour...

[screaming]

[splashing]

Who threw that banana peel on the walk?

Mr. Gourmand, are you all right?

No. Get me a doctor.

I'll call a doctor.

And some shrimp chow mein.

I'll call a Chinese restaurant.

And a large mushroom pizza with pepperoni on half.

I'll call Vito.

[Garfield] Amazingly, the doctor arrived before the shrimp chow mein

or the pizza.

Better keep him here until his foot heals.

How long do you think that will be, doctor?

Oh, not more than a few months. Goodbye.

[screaming] A few months?

Mr. Gourmand, wouldn't you be more comfortable at home

or in a nice hospital?

You take care of me, Mr. Arbuckle,

or I'll sue you for everything you own.

Except the cat.

Now, get me a grilled cheese sandwich.

One grilled cheese sandwich coming up.

[Mr. Gourmand] With potato chips. The ripple cut kind.

Ripple cut potato chips. Right.

And I want a pickle with that.

[Garfield narrating] That's how it started.

Then, it got worse.

[phone ringing and vibrating]

-Hello ? -[Mr. Gourmand] Arbuckle!

It's two minutes past five in the A.M.

And I'm waiting for my breakfast !

[stepping down the stairs]

Syrup. I must have syrup.

Eighteen kinds if you have them. If not, go out and buy them.

[Jon whining]

And I'd like eggs.

Fried, boiled, scrambled

and painted with lovely designs for Easter.

There was no food for me.

In short, Eddie had started to remind me of that greedy, impatient,

lazy creature.

What's it called?

Oh, right.

Me.

To make a healthy chocolate cake, use no chocolate.

Instead, we'll use organic yeast spores and granola.

Turn if off, turn it off!

Sorry, Mr. Gourmand.

I guess it upsets you to see the show that replaced yours.

That but mainly the sight of all that disgusting healthy food.

I can't stand healthy food!

The cat has an idea.

[Odie muttering]

[xylophone sounds]

Great show today, sir.

The latest ratings are in.

What? I only got a three rating?

Well, you only had three viewers.

As much as I might hate it,

I've got to get Eddie Gourmand back.

[Mr. Gourmand] Arbuckle! I want my dinner!

Arbuckle, bring me my dinner or I'll sue you!

Sorry, Mr. Gourmand. Here you go.

Ew! What is this ?

[Jon] It's an artificial chicken patty

made with artichoke flour and modified wheat grass.

When I asked for dinner, I should have specified food.

This is food.

It's all part of our new healthy living program.

Let's go, boys!

One, two! One, two!

One, two! One, two!

You can tell how desperate I am to get rid of Eddie.

I'm actually doing this.

Eddie, we're going to start you with a hundred sit-ups.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

And if you're not going to get my dinner,

I'm going to get it for myself.

[stomping]

I need a bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon,

extra cheese and extra burger!

Ah!

There's no food!

Wait, there's one thing to eat!

I'm saved!

It's... it's...

[crying] Vegetarian meat loaf!

[Garfield] Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!

Ready for the fifty mile hike?

No, no!

I can't survive in this house any longer!

[slamming door]

Yeah, I just found the house.

He left the address in case anyone wanted to forward any burritos.

-Yeah, I've got to get him to come back! -[horn]

Mr. Station Manager, sir!

Eddie,

I want you to come back to your old job.

I've got to get out of here.

Does that mean you won't come back to the station?

Oh, no, no, no!

I'll be back on the air tomorrow!

It's just that right this minute,

I have an emergency need for a buffet!

Garfield! Your idea was brilliant.

Ideas are always brilliant when I'm the guy who has them.

Let's go celebrate!

I'm going to make everyone of your favourite foods, Garfield!

[Odie barking]

Mr. Arbuckle, I'm sorry he caused so much trouble for you.

That's fine.

Hey, Mr. Station Manager, sir...

Don't do it.

Would you like to join us for dinner?

He did it.

Thanks, but I don't eat this kind of stuff.

You know how many calories are in those steaks?

And the fat grams.

[smelling] I mean, it smells tempting.

Maybe one bite wouldn't hurt.

[swallowing]

You know what cholesterol can do to you?

And carbonated drinks?

I only drink...

Hey, this is good!

Arbuckle, give me some honey!

Right away!

And I'm going to try the French fries.

So, some catsup?

[Jon] Also right away.

And I don't see any steak sauce.

Steak sauce! I'll get it.

-[swallowing] -Déjà-vu all over again...

Looks like we're not getting anything to eat for the next few days.

[Odie muttering]

[manager] And blintzes!

The way my mother used to make them.

[Jon] I'll get your mother.

[manager] Any chocolate cream pie for dessert?

[upbeat music]

Subtitling: ECLAIR