Original subtitles

[snoring]

[theme music starts]

[head mailman] I can't talk now, Phil. I have to deal with a huge problem.

It's the time of the year when one of my mailmen,

Herman Post, goes on vacation.

I may have found someone naive enough to fill in for him...

a new recruit.

[Stu] You sent for me, sir?

Yes, come on in.

I have your first assignment for you.

You poor kid.

There are groceries to be bought, guys.

[Odie barks]

I was hoping to be here when the mailman came

so I could make his existence miserable.

But, then again, I guess food is more important.

[Stu] Don't worry, Herman. You just enjoy your vacation.

I'll handle everything.

[Herman] This is a rough route, Stu, and you're fresh out of mailman school.

Don't worry. They taught us there's no such thing as a bad route,

and so far, this sure isn't one.

Nice streets, nice houses, nice people. Heck, even the animals are nice.

-[Herman] You haven't met the cat yet. -[Stu] What?

You're about to find out why I need that vacation.

You see that house over there?

Yeah. That looks like a perfectly normal house.

[Herman snickers] It does.

Who'd ever think that in that house dwells

a monster?

A monster? In there? You're kidding.

I was never more serious about anything in my life.

That's the home of Jon Arbuckle... and his cat!

His cat is the monster? [laughs] Herman!

You won't be laughing when you meet up with the cat.

Why, just last Tuesday, I was delivering the mail...

[bells chime]

-[Garfield laughs] -[Herman screams]

[Herman screaming]

[Herman laughing] Stop! No!

And then, on Wednesday...

-[Garfield laughs] -[Herman screams]

[screams]

[laughs]

You never know when the monster's going to strike,

or what he's going to come up with.

But if he's home, you take your life in your hands to do your job.

Come on, he's just a cat. You're putting me on.

Here, watch. I'll show you I'm not afraid of any cat.

Wait! You don't know what you're...

Poor kid. He had his whole life in front of him.

[Herman groans] You got lucky. He's not home today.

Will you relax? Go on your vacation. I'll handle your route the whole time,

and I won't have any problems.

Have a nice time at the beach.

I tried to warn him.

I tried!

[Stu] That's right. I'm filling in for your regular mailman.

He left this morning on a two week vacation.

[Garfield] Where's Mr. Post?

Where's the man I love to torment?

Must be time for his annual two week vacation,

so they got a substitute.

I can't wait two weeks to cause trouble for Mr. Post.

I'll have to get rid of that substitute in a hurry.

There are seven steps to harassing a mailman...

successfully.

Step one: establish a climate of confidence.

Let him believe he's safe at first,

even if you have to demean yourself a bit.

Watch!

-[Garfield purrs] -[Stu] You must be Garfield.

My fame precedes me.

You're just the friendliest little cat, aren't you?

I won't have any trouble with you.

Absolutely not.

Tomorrow, step two. [snickers]

Okay, it's tomorrow, which brings us to step two... show time!

[Stu humming]

[bells chimes]

[gasps] What?

[groans]

[snickers]

[groans]

[grunts] Whoever's doing this, stop it, it's not funny!

[Jon] Is there a problem, sir?

Someone in that house keeps

throwing these letters back at me.

-[Jon groans in frustration] -[Garfield purrs]

You're not fooling me, Garfield.

I know. I wasn't fooling me, either.

What is it about you and mailmen?

I guess I just can't resist a man in a uniform.

[playful music plays]

Okay, it's the next day, and we're up to step three...

Make life interesting.

[sighs]

Alright, now, whoever's in there,

I'm putting the letters in the mail slot, and they better stay in there today.

[suspenseful music plays]

Good. Glad we have an understanding.

[humming]

[joyful music plays]

[screams]

No! I delivered you.

You can't come back.

[screaming] Help!

Yoohoo, Mr. Mailman. Nice delivery.

You think you're clever, but you'll see.

You picked the wrong mailman to mess with!

Tomorrow, the all-important step four.

This time, I'm fighting back with my trusty water pistol.

That darn cat tries something, well, everybody knows cats hate water.

[adventurous music plays]

[Stu screams]

Houston, we have lift-off.

[Stu screams]

-[thuds] -What happened?

[Garfield] You dropped this.

And by the way, that was step four... think big.

I think I'll fill this thing with grape juice.

[metallic arm squeaks]

[sighs]

[humming]

[screams] No!

Yes... step five...

think bigger.

[fan blows]

[groaning] No!

[upbeat music playing]

I hope he appreciates that, thanks to my help,

the mail is getting around much faster today.

Look, there goes Jon's gas bill.

[telephone rings]

-Herman, this is Stu. -Stu, I had a feeling you'd be calling.

-That cat. He's... -The monster is invincible.

Nobody's ever defeated him.

Well, maybe you could cut your vacation short,

-and together we could-- -The answer is no. Bye.

[screaming] I'm doomed.

[gasps] Right. Got to do this. Can't give up...

but, boy, I want to!

[military music plays]

[screams]

Step six: all-out war.

[blows whistle]

Your whistle's broken, cat! I didn't hear a thing.

You're not supposed to hear anything. This is an ultra-sonic dog whistle.

It makes a sound so high that only dogs can hear it.

In fact, this is a special dog whistle.

It only attracts every mailman's worst nightmare...

a pack of hyperactive chihuahuas.

[screams]

-[chihuahuas barking] -[Stu] Hyperactive chihuahuas!

You don't want to see this, folks. Trust me. It's not pretty.

[snickers]

[Stu pleading] Please!

Assign me anywhere else.

Let me deliver waste materials to a toxic dump.

Anything! Just get me off the route with that cat! [cries]

[grunts] I figured it would end like this, it always does.

[telephone rings]

Excuse me, dear.

-Yes. -[indistinct chatter]

Cut my vacation short? But, sir, I couldn't

How much of a raise?

-[indistinct chatter] -[Herman snickers]

Throw in another 100 and you've got a deal.

Every year I take a vacation

and every year, I get a raise to come back early.

-[head mailman] You're off the route. -[Stu] I am?

[cheering] Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'm free!

I'm free! [laughs]

I never have to deliver mail to this street

and especially that house, again!

[laughing and cheering]

And this brings us to our last step... step seven...

Give yourself a pat on the back for a job well done.

And celebrate in style.

[sighs] This is the life.

Gee, I wonder what could be keeping the mail. [snickers]

[theme music starts]