Original subtitles

[snoring]

[theme music plays]

[Garfield] Faster, Odie!

And angrier, and much more impatient than that.

I'd be pacing back and forth impatiently, but it's easier to have Odie do it for me.

Jon ordered that pizza almost... twelve minutes ago.

[gasps] It's too late for me. I'm famished.

Even if it came this minute, I'd be too weak to answer the door.

-[Odie howls] -[tires screech]

-[doorbell] -I'll get it.

I'll bring in the pizza.

I'll bring in the pizza, you bring the money!

[Garfield] Attention! Hungry cat!

[thud]

[laughs]

-You ever feed that cat? -No more than ten times a day.

[sighs] Vito's pizza. The best pizza in the world.

[Odie sniffing]

-[tense music] -[groaning]

[chewing loudly]

[thud]

Something is very wrong here.

That was the worst pizza I ever had.

It was dry, it was tasteless. Vito, what have you done to me?

[sighs]

"Mama Meany's Pizza Palace"?

Yeah, I know it wasn't a Vito's pizza, but I had a coupon for this place.

You don't mind, do you?

-[sighs] -[Jon screams]

Okay, I guess you mind a little.

[Vito] Mr. Arbuckle, it is so good to see you.

-[Vito] It's good to see any customer. -Business isn't good, Vito?

Business is terrible since the new shop opened next door.

[dramatic music playing]

[Vito] Look at this monstrosity!

Mama Meany's Pizza Palace. [scoffs]

"Mama Meany's Pizza Palace [scoffs]"? She's the one who made that awful pizza?

They have coupons, deals, and contests. And they've stolen all my customers away.

[Mama Meany] Why not sell this dump of yours to me,

-so I can expand my business? -[Vito] Never!

[Jon gasps] Are you?...

Right. I'm Mama Meany.

Here, have a coupon. Twelve pizzas for the price of one.

[gasps] Twelve pizzas? That's quite a deal.

[scoffs] Not if they're not edible.

[Vito] His pizzas are horrible, the way he makes them.

Let Vito show you how pizza should be made.

The dough is hand-mixed. I taste it to make sure it's right.

Perfect! Then I toss by hand.

I put on the sauce, lots of it. Then the cheese, even more of it!

Now I add the sausage and the pepperoni, and the onions, and the mushrooms,

and anchovies.

-[Garfield groans] -Right, no anchovies.

[Mama Meany laughing] That's quaint but follow me.

[marching music playing]

Let me show you how we do it now. The modern, cost-effective way.

It's so much better to do it by machine.

The Pizzagram 7000, capable of outputting ten pizzas a minute.

-That makes pizzas? -[Garfield moans]

Pizza by machine?

That is inhuman. It is vulgar, it is ridiculous.

-[bell] -[robotic voice] Pizza completed.

[Mama] There you are, piping-hot pizza.

[Vito] That isn't the way to make pizza.

I'll try a slice, and Garfield do you want one?

No way! I've tried Mama Meany's alleged pizzas.

[Jon gasps]

I'd like a pizza with everything, please.

Allow me to show you how it works.

Yes sir, Mama Meany.

One pizza with everything.

-[bell rings] -[Garfield groans]

Do I look like a ball of dough?... Don't answer that. Help!

[Garfield yelling and panting]

This pizza tastes a lot like cardboard.

No it doesn't. My All-Meat Special tastes like cardboard.

This tastes like Styrofoam.

[robotic voice] Incoming: Pepperoni, onions, peppers, and anchovies.

[gasps] No anchovies!

-[robot] Onions? -[Garfield] Yeah, fine.

-And five, four, three, two... -[bell]

[robot] Pizza completed.

[ethereal music playing]

[gasps]

-Here you go, pal. -[Garfield gasps]

[old man] When I said I wanted everything on my pizza,

I didn't mean a pussy cat!

You're better off with me than one of those guys' rotten pizzas.

I'm sorry, Mama Meany. I will never order from you again.

What if I offered you discounts?

Discounts?

And contests with big cash prizes.

Big cash prizes?

Yes! Yes!

You see! My promotions trump your pizza every time.

And you'll sell your business to me, so I can tear it down and expand.

[telephone ringing]

Vito's Pizza. I'm sorry, we're closing down and--

Yes, this is Eddie Gourmand, the world famous TV critic.

I'm sure you've heard of me, or seen me. [laughs]

I've decided to try your pizza, and if I like it,

I'll recommend it to millions of people who watch my reviews on television.

-Recommend my pizzas to millions? -That's right, millions!

Have a large pepperoni to 747 Waffle St. in 30 minutes, or else... bye!

This is my chance. Eddie Gourmand's going to review my pizza!

Eddie Gourmand? He has a huge following, and what's worse, he has good taste.

Out of my way, Mama!

After Eddie Gourmand tells the world about my pizza,

crowds will flock to my store.

We'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen.

Vito, I don't know anything about delivering pizzas.

My truck isn't working, the pizzas must be at this address in...

[gasps] twelve minutes! Hurry!

Wait for the star of the show!

Forget them, we must stop that pizza being delivered.

Mamma mia! Mama Meany is trying to stop the delivery.

I cannot let that happen.

If I don't get to 747 Waffle St., there will be no more Vito's Pizza.

[motorcyclist] Hop on!

[upbeat music playing]

I've never heard of Waffle St. You'll have to find it on the map.

Which will be hard to do, since this is a map of Portugal.

[gasps]

He's trying to run us off the road!

[Jon yells]

Mama Meany! He's trying to stop us from delivering Vito's pizza.

[Garfield] Sure looks that way.

Okay, pal! Let me have that pizza!

[snickers nervously] What pizza? Do I have a pizza?

You've got just three seconds to hand over that pizza, fellow.

This guy plays rough. I better do something.

I may need ammunition.

Listen, maybe we could forget about pizza and send out for Chinese food.

[coughs] Mama, looks like you have a pizza delivery truck to go.

[tense music playing]

[Mama] Our truck!

[truck crashes]

[thud]

[Garfield] Onward! We have pizza to deliver.

[tires screech]

-[upbeat music playing] -[Jon gasps]

Don't let him get away!

[groaning] They're behind us!

[truck honking]

These are Mama Meany's pizzas. Here's the only thing they're good for.

They make great Frisbees.

[Mama] Look out! You're steering crazy.

I can't see. There's pepperoni all over the windshield.

[screaming]

-[crash] -[creaking]

[screaming]

We did it, Garfield! Nothing can stop us now.

[both scream]

It's no use. We have one minute to get the pizza to 747 Waffle St.

Not so.

[Garfield] This is 747 Waffle St.

[gasps] We're here! Quick, give me the pizza!

Wait! That's not...

-[tires screech] -[Jon] Just in time.

Well, it's about time. Ten more seconds and I'd give you a bad review.

[laughs] Here, taste! You will love.

[splutters] This is the worst pizza I've ever eaten.

My pizza. The worst?

[Garfield] Here, have a real Vito's pizza.

[Eddie] "Mama Meany's Pizza Palace"? This isn't Vito pizza.

[sighs] Yes, this is Vito's pizza.

[Eddie munching] This is the best pizza I've ever eaten!

Thank you, cat. I think you deserve some too.

I thought you'd never offer.

For the best pizza on this entire planet, go to Vito's.

And if you want the worst pizza on this planet...

try Mama Meany's. It stinks.

[Vito] I love Eddie Gourmand! Every time they rerun that review,

I get another hundred orders.

So I see.

[Italian music playing]

Maybe I can retool the pizza machine to make steel-belted radial tires.

They taste the same.

I am so grateful for all your help. All of you.

From now on, as much pizza as you want. You're Vito's guests.

All the free pizza we want?

Will he ever stop?

Sure. He's bound to hit anchovies eventually.

[theme music plays]