Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

(Sylvester) Figdale, where the digs of bigwigs

are built on figs.

Morning, boss. They're all here.

Listen, for the loot this extra security's a-costing me

they'd better be.

[whistles]

Boss, it's happened again.

[growling]

I lock my orchard up all night, I guard my trees all day

and still my figs go and get rustled.

[grunts]

This here situation demands the best crime solver

in these here parts.

[phone ringing]

[growls]

Yeah, this is U.S. Secret Service man, James East.

Missing figs?

Sorry, Mac, I only take on serious cases

that showcase my sleek fighting-man figure.

You better give an old pal of mine a call.

Granny? Whoa!

[grumbling]

[theme song]

♪ Whenever there's a crime or trouble ♪

♪ That no one can solve at all it seems ♪

♪ That's when they come and on the double ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ It might be day or night whenever ♪

♪ Conditions are right for them to flee ♪

♪ Somehow it all still fits together ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ If there's a full moon ♪

♪ An old house with rotten stairs ♪

♪ Just look around you ♪

♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪

♪ Some day I'll eat that darn canary ♪

♪ And then I'll be happy yes sirree ♪

♪ But Hector thinks you should be wary ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries ♪

♪ The chase goes on with each new mission ♪

♪ With backdrops a-plenty globally ♪

♪ And through it all they're in contention ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries ♪

[instrumental music]

(Sam) 'Now, despite our disagreements'

in the past, Granny you're the best hombre..

Uh, woman, for this here missing fig job.

It come to me in a crystal vision.

Looks like a vision with long, sharp crystals.

[growling]

Mm, mm. Catfish appetizers.

[Sylvester screams]

Ow, ow, ow! Ooh, ow!

Great horny toads. My prize piranha.

Oh, now you're a-dripping fishy doo

all over my beautiful office.

- Ew! - Ha-ha-ha!

Sorry, Sam. Behave yourself, Sylvester.

My, what big incisors you have.

Now, who'd want to steal your figs?

That's just it. I got no natural enemies.

I done whupped them all to smithereenies. Ha-ha-ha!

(Granny) 'But there must be someone with a motive.'

(Sam) 'Oh, more than likely it's some ornery galoot'

'jealous of my fig empire.'

(Granny) Your fig empire?

If you go take a look at the Figdale business district

'you'll get my drift.'

[gasps]

[Sylvester yowling]

Ooh, a big, hairy monster's after me.

[Hector laughing]

thud

Get these varmints out of here!

thud

Oof!

Sheesh. And I thought I had a temper.

My, a fig shortage here would destroy Sam's empire.

♪ Come to me my big eyed ♪

♪ Fig haired baby ♪♪

(Wayne) 'Thank you, thank you very much.'

'Don't forget to try the veal.'

Hmm.

With a name like Wayne Figg

he must know something.

♪ You and the fig stirred water and me ♪

[Wayne humming]

Uh, uh, pardon me, are you Wayne Figg?

That's me. The only fig who's not missing.

Ha, ha. Get it? Rim shot, please.

You know about the missing figs?

Hey, who doesn't?

This town exhales figs in its sleep.

Well, so do I.

Uh, who's the authority on figs here in Figdale?

That would be my brother.

Your brother?

Hey, you hear an echo?

My brother Fig Nose, a.k.a. Sir Isaac.

You'll find him over at the Institute of Fig Technology.

Now, beat it, baby, I gotta rehearse my big Fri. show.

(Isaac) 'He really said my name was Fig Nose? Oh.'

I'd better renew my restraining order on him.

It's a lonely life, being a genius

who takes his figs seriously.

'There's an abundance of fig knowledge to relish.'

'The chief nutrient in dried figs is sugar.'

'Mission figs have twice as much vitamin A'

'as Kadotas, but far more than Calimyrnas'

'to whet your interest with some piquant facts.'

[grunting]

Come back here, you little yellow lunch.

[panting]

Aw, poor puddy full of hot air.

Ah, you see, Granny, figs made Figdale's reputation

as fig grower of the nation, an envy of the free world.

Figuratively speaking.

Oh, gracious, I thought they were only a snack-bar filling.

(Granny) 'Well, boys, after that fig overload'

'I'm ready for a little ice cream.'

Um, uh..

"Fig vanilla, fig mocha

"fig java, fig pineapple

"fig pistachio, fig copper, fig peach

banana fig, spumoni fig.." Oh!

"Trail-mix fig, reconstituted-rust fig

'rain-forest fig."'

- '"Fig Ernest Borgnine.."' - Ew.

"And strawberry fig-leaf fondue."

Oh, look. "Chocolate."

[crowd chattering]

[Granny gasps] Sir Isaac Fig has just been fignapped!

"Granny last person to see him alive."

[gasps]

[siren wails]

Oh, my.

I should have paid closer

attention to his fig lecture.

[siren wailing]

[instrumental music]

Well, it took a night in the slammer,

but they believe my story.

Now we've got to find out who kidnapped poor Sir Isaac

and find Sam's missing figs.

Last one. Ha-ha-ha!

[all shouting]

Hey, wait a minute.

(Granny) 'Strike one.'

'Strike two.'

'Take your base.'

'What's this? The Fruit Punch and Judy Show?'

[all groan]

Goodness, this fig shortage

has lowered the standard of living here.

[car door closes]

- Uh, yoo-hoo! - Huh?

Wayne! Wayne Figg!

I'd like a word with you.

Oh, he wants to run, does he?

Well, you go run with him, Hector.

[instrumental music]

[growling]

[barking]

thud

[Hector barking]

[Granny grunting]

[Wayne groans]

Really, Mr. Figg, I just want to know--

If I did away with my brother. No!

Sure, I've been jealous of the creep

since the day he won that Nobel Prize

on the way to pick up his Peabody

but I'd never do anything rash. Phew!

My, you need a drink of water.

Oh, there's no tap water on the whole block.

Been that way for weeks now.

Really?

[screeching]

Come on, Granny, you're going for a ride, girl.

Oh, my goodness, people get pushy

when deprived of their figs.

Oh, look. Someone left us a message.

Lookie here, Granny.

Last night another big haul

of my prize figs got stole.

So I had my ranch hands haul you out here

to guard the very last unpilfered fig tree

I got left in the world.

Y'all stay right here and watch my figs.

Adios, now.

I got me an English class...to teach.

[Hector panting]

Wonderful. We can pitch camp right here.

Look, Sam spared no expense.

One for Tweety, one for Hector..

...and one for me.

Oh, cheer up, kitty. You're nocturnal.

You know what that means, don't you?

I don't have to spell it out for you, do I? Sheesh.

Huh. You're nocturnal. Where does she get that stuff?

Give me a break.

While the dog's asleep, the cat will eat. Ha-ha-ha.

Huh?

[laughing]

[rustling nearby]

Huh?

[dramatic music]

[rustling nearby]

Mice.

[yells]

[grunts]

(both) Huh?

[both yelling]

[screaming]

Hey, puddy, wait your turn to sleep.

[growling]

What's this?

[gasps] This great big tree just took its clothes off.

So long, puddy. I gotta check this out.

Halt in the name of Granny.

Uh-oh. Yipe!

This avalanche is falling up on me.

[rumbling]

I've been in jams before, but not one made of figs.

Did they repeal the law of gravity?

Whoop! Look out. Whoop! Pardon me.

[grunts]

[spits] Well, what do you know? Helium.

[radar pings]

There it is again.

(male #1) What we got here?

Hey, that'd be something new.

Do we really wanna report a flying bulldozer?

[both whistling]

Ooh.

[machine whirring]

[grunting]

(Tweety) 'If I didn't know better'

'I'd think this was the return'

'of the '60s, man.'

[instrumental music]

[metallic squeaking]

[whooshing]

(Tweety) 'Ooh. A maze just for little me.'

[clanking]

(Tweety) 'Hmm, I've heard of putting fluoride in water'

'but never helium-filled figs.'

[instrumental music]

[squeaking]

[grunting]

Phew.

Hey, I've been here before.

Well, Sylvester

I guess you really didn't

swallow Tweety this time.

All of that milk of magnesia wasn't so bad, now, was it?

[spitting]

[groans]

[Tweety chirping]

Tweety. You're back.

[Hector barking]

My lower intestine salutes you.

We were so worried.

All the figs were stolen during the night on Sylvester's watch.

Oh, isn't that sweet? You saved one for Granny.

[gasps]

My goodness.

Oh, Hector, isn't that a big bone

I see buried under these roots?

[grunting]

Dare I say it? Aha!

Whoa, Hector.

[grunts]

Oh, don't fret, Hector. Here's a bone for you.

[gasps]

[phone ringing]

Morning, Sam.

(Sam on phone) 'Found my figs yet?'

No, but I've got a hunch where we will.

[yells]

(Granny) I knew something was amiss yesterday when Wayne Figg said

that there hadn't been any water on this block for weeks.

Oh, for crying out loud, Granny.

What's your plumbing problems got to do with my missing figs?

Patience, Sam.

[grumbles]

Your daytime security failed to stop the thefts

'because your figs flew the coop at night.'

thunk

How in tarnation?

I found this helium tank

connected to the last fig tree's roots.

The culprit force-fed helium up through the trees by day

'causing your fruit to fly by night.'

Well, who done it? I'll skin him alive!

Sam, wouldn't you like your figs back?

Of course, you would.

Well, stand back, everyone.

[rumbling]

Fire in the hole!

boom

Yahoo!

I got me a fig gusher in the sky.

[Sylvester yells]

[instrumental music]

Now, there's something you don't see too often.

(Granny) 'Well, Sir Isaac?'

Do you confess or do we

let you stay up there a little longer?

[screaming]

[grunting]

I give up. I did it.

I'll give you anything, just let me down from here.

Hey, wait a minute.

Wasn't he shanghaied and done away with, or what?

[metallic squeaking]

(Granny) 'Isaac faked his own disappearance'

'to cover his guilt.'

'And then..'

'Well, you tell us, Isaac.'

How and why you collected Sam's figs.

Oh, no, I couldn't.

[Sam growling]

You see, I invented a lighter-than-air bulldozer.

It was my sole attempt at automotive design

but it went rather awry.

After all the work of building it

I had to think of some way to put it to use.

Oh, my, he is a genius.

Yep, well, you live and learn.

Which reminds me, I gotta get to my stress-management class.

Adios.

[cars crashing]

Forty-nine thousand one hundred fifty-one.

Forty-nine thousand one hundred fifty-two.

Come on. We got plenty more to count.

(Granny) 'Ahoy down there!'

Happy landings, Granny.

So long, Sam.

And I thought he was kidding

when Sir Isaac said he'd give me anything.

[grunting]

[horn honks]

What's the matter, puddy? You getting airsick?

(Sylvester) 'Nobody's ever gonna believe this'

'when I write my memoirs.'

[theme music]