Original subtitles

[instrumental music]

[instrumental music]

[lightning crashing]

[dramatic music]

[Ed laughing]

Ow! Paper cut.

Dawes!

Dawes!

You chortled, sir?

Oh, that's a nasty boo-boo, sir.

(Ed) Hurry, Dawes.

Say, if I had a real job, I could get workmen's comp.

[Ed laughs]

All better, sir. Anything else?

(Ed) 'Yes, send these out immediately.'

Oh, but you've forgotten the most important person.

Right you are, Dawes.

[laughs]

No party would be complete without..

[laughs]

Ow!

'...Granny.'

♪ Whenever there's a crime or trouble ♪

♪ That no one can solve at all it seems ♪

♪ That's when they come and on the double ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ It might be day or night whenever ♪

♪ Conditions are right for them to flee ♪

♪ Somehow it all still fits together ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ If there's a full moon an old house with rotten stairs ♪

♪ Just look around you ♪

♪ Chances are we'll be there ♪

♪ Some day I'll eat that darn canary ♪

♪ And then I'll be happy yes siree ♪

♪ But Hector thinks you should be wary ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety mysteries ♪

♪ The chase goes on with each new mission ♪

♪ With backdrops a-plenty globally ♪

♪ And through it all they're in contention ♪

♪ Sylvester and Tweety ♪

♪ Mysteries ♪

[intense music]

[instrumental music]

[snoring]

[Tweety humming]

Rinse, lather and repeat.

I think they just want us to buy more shampoo.

(Granny) Finished at last.

What a lovely magnifying-glass cozy.

Ow! I thought this was No More Tears.

Oh, boy.

Freshly shampooed songbird souffle.

Ha!

[gasps]

[slurps]

Luckily I got my pepper spray.

- Reow! - Take that, you pussy pervert.

[sneezes]

Special delivery for Granny.

Oh, my stars. I'm a winner.

"Our prize paddy wagon is coming

to whisk you to a dream vacation."

[vehicle honks]

[car door opens]

[engine revs]

[coughing]

Oh, no. She forgot to put out dry food.

I'll starve.

panting]

[grunting

Sylvester, don't get paw prints on the glass.

[chuckles]

Uh, excuse me, driver, but, uh, where are we headed?

England, ma'am.

We're driving to England?

No, we're boating, ma'am. This is a hydrolimo.

'She'll cross the Atlantic in under two hours'

'barring waterspouts, of course.'

[water splashes]

[gasps]

[grunting]

(Sylvester) 'If we land on a witch, I'm out of here.'

Oof!

Don't expect a good reference from me, young man.

Why, thank you, kitty.

[screams]

I can't play now, Sylvester.

[doorbell rings]

Trick or treat.

Welcome to Clydesdale Manor.

I'm Granny, the contest winner.

Well, what did I win?

Master Ed McMuffin, your host,

will explain it all after dinner.

You know, your voice sounds awfully familiar.

No. I do a little voiceover work when I'm not butling. Ha, ha.

(Dawes) 'Come inside, won't you?'

What a quaint bed and breakfast.

I wouldn't know, ma'am. Nobody's ever made it until breakfast.

[growling]

[gasps]

[screams]

[babbling]

crash

[screaming]

[screams]

Your room, ma'am.

The cable's out, but we still get the Warner Network.

(male #1) 'Get out.'

[dramatic music]

- Elmer Fudd? - Call me Sam.

Sam Fudd.

Oh, you haven't changed a bit.

Of all of the guest rooms in England, you walk into mine.

Your room? Oh, there must be some mistake.

You see, I'm a winner.

You always were to me, sweetheart.

Ha-ha-ha.

[laughs]

Is it me, or is rekindling old romances revolting?

Since I won this dream vacation, I'm on a roll.

I just wove the way he talks.

You mean, we both won the same prize?

No, you won mine. Give it back.

Oh, Sam. You're still upset over that crown-jewels caper.

The one that I solved and you got all the credit?

Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise.

Oh, same old Sam. Better go to your room.

This is my room. You leave.

It's mine and I've got the key to prove it.

Hmm. Dawes the butler will straighten this out.

Oh, puddy's so cute when he's scared stiff.

[indistinct chatter]

Alright, alright. One at a time.

Looks like we're not alone, sweetheart.

Hey, Lojack.

Hey, who loves you, Sammy?

Look, there's Hemlock Holmes and Miss Marbles.

Yoo-hoo, Missy.

Granny. Can you believe it?

I'm here for the dream vacation

and this cadaver puts us all in the same room.

Oh, she's losing her marbles.

Don't you find it curious that the most

celebrated detectives

all won the same prize?

Charlie Smith, what do you make of it?

Renowned Sino-European philosopher Confucius, say

"Sweepstakes is a setup."

So sorry for the inconvenience

but there's only one guest room in the estate.

What? In this big house?

Master McMuffin lives by the words of Aristotle.

Ah. The great Greco-Greco philosopher, who said

"Fish and houseguests stink after three days."

Well, since we're all staying in the same room

I got dibs on the couch.

[al grunt]

[Sylvester grunting]

Ahh.

[snoring]

Ooh. Huh?

So this is what the back of a bookcase looks like.

Must be the dark humor section.

Sheesh. The things I suffer for sustenance.

(Tweety) 'Over here, puddy.'

[sniffling]

Ah, the canine-American has found a clue.

Oh, yes, precisely as I deduced.

- Books. - Puppy want a pork-jerky pop?

(Tweety) 'Over here, puddy.'

[screams]

(Tweety) 'Here, puddy.'

(Tweety) 'Over here, puddy.'

[honking]

Ha. Can't fool me this time.

It's all done with mirrors.

[honking]

Seriously heavy mirrors.

(Tweety) 'Over here, puddy.'

[Sylvester yelling]

- A clue. - Why, he's our host.

Master Ed McMuffin.

How can you tell?

The bad drawing on the sweepstakes envelope.

No pulse, no breath.

A definite Anglo dead man, alright. But how?

- He's been stabbed. - He's been shot.

- Strangled. - Poisoned.

- Too much red meat. - The airplanes got him.

- Twas beauty killed the beast. - Gas.

Aha. A victim of fowl play.

I'm going to call the police.

We've got to alert the authorities.

I can fire a 21-marble salute.

No, let's use carrier canary.

I've been drafted.

[grunting]

[grunts]

[gasps] Any one of us might be the killer.

Lucky I got bars on my windows.

(Sylvester) Six detectives in the room

and not one of them can toss a sheet over thatcorpse.

One marble rolls over to my side and you're out.

[yawns]

[gasps]

Where is that butler anyway, baby?

He drove away during the last commercial break.

So the murderer is one of us.

Who has a motive?

McMuffin and I were at summer camp together.

We were finalists for the Simon Says trophy

and I recall that he cheated and and won

and, well, I was forced to abandon my dream

of attending mime school and it was a horrible tragedy.

[Hemlock sobbing]

One of Ed's Clydesdales stomped my

best cat's-eyes marbles to smithereens.

And Ed never offered to pay.

I've been losing my marbles ever since.

[sobbing]

(all) 'Aww.'

Hey, I didn't even know the guy.

Unless you count the time that DNA test

proved he was my real father, baby.

I'm ticked I had to subscribe to Gumshoe Digest

to enter his dumb contest.

What's your story, sweetheart?

Sorry, but I refuse to reveal anything

that might detract from my sweet old lady image.

I never trusted you from the start.

Nobody wears ties on vacation.

What did you think of Ed McMuffin, sweetheart?

He was the most annoying sidekick American

I've ever seen.

I'm not paranoid, but everyone is dangerous.

It's late, someone should stay awake

so nobody tries anything. Any volunteers?

Sylvester.

You stand guard.

You're nocturnal.

[nervously chuckles]

[snoring]

[sniffling]

[gagging]

Yipe!

Putrid p-poison gas.

[grunting]

[yells]

Must be safety glass.

clang

crash

[groans]

P-Pepperoni and clam sauce?

P-yew!

[snoring]

This must be Lojack's biggest fan.

Phew.

Yeep!

These mysteries send a chill up my spine.

[gulps]

Yikes!

[screams]

Sheesh. Could somebody move that dead body already?

'Thanks a bunch.'

[grunting]

Yoo-hoo, puddy. I was wrong.

'Cats are supposed to eat canaries.'

Well, it's about time.

Just kidding.

Hmm. "The Key's In Here, Stupid." By Tolstoy.

[grunts]

Good heavens, I've solved the mystery.

It came to me in a dream.

[Tweety chirping]

[Hector barks]

(Granny) 'Gracious. A state-of-the-art computer dummy.'

Is there any other kind?

You better have a good excuse for not being dead, young man.

Fellow detectives, Mr. McMuffin has something to tell us all.

Gracious, it's late.

Even the corpse is awake.

[laughs]

I only wanted the world's best detectives

to see how much fun

my Murder Mystery Retreat vacations were

so I could get all of your endorsements.

[Ed laughs]

Well, Ed, there is a one-word endorsement we'll give you.

(all) 'Run!'

[Ed yelling]

Ooh, my favorite time of year.

Salesman-hunting season. Ha-ha-ha!

Has anyone seen Sylvester?

[grunts

Can anybody use a bookmark?

[theme music]