All language subtitles for Carnage.for.Christmas.2024.1080p.WEB-

Okay, so
imagine this scene.

- Sure.
- A shitty motel

in some one-bus town.

It's familiar. A cliche even.

A girl 18 years old right out
of high school, a runaway.

Her name is Annie.

- Seriously?
- I know. I know.

It's a hard knock life.

Anyway, she's not
an exploding ginger.

She's blonde, super femme,

wavy hairdo, and so on.

She's run away from
home to get away

from her violent shit of a dad,

an old fashioned
bikey, you know,

leather jackets and logos.

Is it
"The Wild Angels"?

But uglier.
Crazy movie by the way.

Anyway, this piece of sentient
dick cheese has sent out

an underling of his
to track her down.

Real greasy, white trash
shit the gang calls Floppy,

because of a drunken incident
in which he couldn't...

- Ugh, gross.
- Indeed.

Thing is Floppy has
ulterior motives.

Of course he does.

He's got beef
with her dad, right?

And he has no intention
of actually finding her.

Oh my God,
are you serious?

Mm-hmm, so as it turned out,

not only did she know

that he was following her,
but she was counting on it.

So when he threatened
her, she was ready.

I have mixed feelings
about this one.

Mm, me too. You see, Floppy
deserved it hands down.

But as far as I can gather,

the other three out of five
were seemingly unrelated.

I think she might've just
gotten a taste for it.

And guess what?

That's right, dear listener,

Annie is the subject
of next week's podcast.

So if you wanna know more,

you're just gonna
have to tune in.

You're such a tease.

Always. Any emails
this week, Riley?

Oh, do we have emails?
We have two dick pics.

Mm. Any good?

No. Nothing
to brag about.

Ugh, wandering through
the desert out here,

ladies and gents.

But we do have an email here
from a Spring-heeled Jack.

I swear we get more references

to Jack the Ripper on
this murder podcast

than there are Jesuses
in a mental institution.

Although I always appreciate
a history buff among us.

I guess you could say
he had a spring in his step.

Oh, Riley, this is
an upscale podcast.

We can't be having dad jokes.

Anyways, I'll
just get into it.

See what Mr. Slinky
shoes has to say.

"Dear Riley and Lola,
new listener, big
fan of the podcast.

This question is for Lola. What
got you into murder cases?"

Hmm, I haven't had
this one in a while.

What do you think,
Riley? Should I tell him?

Yes, yes,
please. I love this story.

So in my shitty little
hometown that I grew up in,

there was this urban legend,

slash coming of age ritual
amongst boys mostly,

but it really had the
town in its grips.

Probably still does.

These dark things,

they tend to linger.

There was this old abandoned
house not far from my place

that all the kids
were scared of.

You see, the house belongs
to an old man in the 1930s.

Nice guy, the kind
of guy you'd be happy

to have as your neighbor.

And he used to make
these toys out of wood,

beautiful things,
a dying art really.

And every Christmas, he'd
run about the town dressed

as Santa handing out toys
to the neighborhood kids.

But everyone else knew
that he had a dark side,

a real jealous streak.

One night he wakes
up from a dream

where his wife has
cheated on him,

and he's in a blind rage.

Decides to murder
his whole family,

chops them up, wraps
them in wax cloth,

hides them around the house:

the attic, in the walls,

under the floorboards.

They found him swinging
from the rafters upstairs

dressed in his Santa suit.

The only one left
unaccounted for

was his youngest daughter, Nel,

But our parents told
us it was all bullshit.

But you try telling a
town filled with teenagers

that that never happened.

Which brings me
to the affirmation
coming of age ritual.

My so-called Friends Barry
and Brick said they'd done it,

so they made me do it.

It went like this.

You'd get blindfolded
and you're put

in this old house alone.

And I remember you had to
say these specific words.

You stand in this old house

and you say, Toymaker, Toymaker,

crawl up from hell and show
me where you buried Nel.

I promise I won't tell.

And then at this point in the
legend, he either kills you

with his hammer or he shows
you the body of his dead kid

and swears you to silence

or he'll follow you all
the way home and kill you.

I do feel
it is important to say

to the gentle listeners

that this is in fact not
a work of horror fiction

and is our goal
along this real life.

That's right, and
it was just then

that I heard the floorboards
creaking behind me.

Still
playing this old game, eh?

It was just
Old Man Beer Can.

Us kids used to call him that.

He was just a local drunk.

Don't worry kid.

He said.

I'm not the
old Toymaker's ghost.

And then he stumbled over

to the peephole and
peered through it.

I wasn't sure what he was up to,

so I ducked away
into a cupboard.

Ah, I
gobbled up ya little mate

and I'm still hungry.

I suddenly realized there
was a secret compartment

in the cupboard, a fake back.

I always noticed these kind of
things, things that were off.

If I'd been there
back in the day,

I would've noticed the marks,
the scratching mice and rats,

and known that they must've been

after something behind it.

I'd done by accident what
the police never did.

Staring into those
empty eye sockets,

that's when I realized

I could've found her,

maybe even saved her

or someone like her.

And so I had to figure it out,

who was the Toymaker?

and what makes a person who's
kind enough to hand out gifts

to children at Christmas snap
and kill their entire family?

And how do you catch
someone like that?

Anyway, that is the story
that started it all.

And sadly, I feel like
we have to say goodbye

because we have
gone way over time.

But tune in for
next week's podcast,

Riley and Lola, on
the "Nancy Crew Show."

All right, smell you later.

And beware of your Santa at
your local shopping center.

Sweet dreams.

♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

Let's go, boy.

Are you kidding me? You
could've waited for me.

Sweetie, if we waited
for you every time,

we'd starve to death.

There'd be two skeletons
sitting at the booth.

That'd be a mystery to solve.

Yeah, I think the cops
could solve that one.

Are you sure?

You could at least order
some garlic bread next time.

Garlic gives me the farts.

Because you're
a vampire, Farrah.

I wish, eternal
life sounds fun.

Yeah, but could you hack
eternal life without pizza?

I guess she's not that committed
to being a vampire then.

Doesn't stop her from feeding

on other people's lives though.

Feeding off of
other people's lives

is literally what
journalists do.

Touchy.

I hear you tell your story
on the podcast today.

So when are you gonna
let me write it.

One day, dear Watson,

you can chronicle
the many adventures

of my fantastic life
when I have them.

I mean, if I have them.

Careful what you wish for.

You will, you're always poking

into every mystery you can find.

One day one will poke back.

That's what I'm worried about.

Well, if it makes either
of you feel any better,

I spent my entire
week just cataloging

and doing legal bullshit.

Fuck, I hate
both those things.

You've got that thing

with the bugs next
semester though, right?

- Bug thing?
- Oh my God.

Corpse-eating carrion,
like flesh-eating bugs.

- Uh-huh.
- You'd be surprised

what you can find
out from a body

by what's eating it
from the inside out.

So fucking cool.

Like maggots and shit?

Uh-huh.

That's it for me.

Oh, come on, Farrah.

Don't act like it's not amazing.

Yeah, but gross.

Totally gross. That's
what I'm hoping for.

More like spending
the entire time

just fucking cataloging bugs.

So how are you
feeling, my love?

Fine, whatever do
you mean?

You know what, Lola?

Oh, just my imminent return

to my oppressive little shit
hole town that I'm from, that?

How long has it been
since you were back?

I think I escaped
when I was like 16.

Are you like totally fucking
nervous about it or what?

Delicate, Farrah.

I mean, I'd be lying
if I said that I wasn't

a little bit nervous.

It's not exactly
like I ran around

or I left telling everyone
that I was coming out

as trans or...

And fucking everyone's gonna
be there 'cause it's Christmas,

so everyone's returning.

It's like gonna be
a fucking shit show.

And it's just like,

I'm not ready for all
the fucking questions.

Do you know what I mean,
and it's just like.

Fuck.

Hmm, preaching
to the choir there.

We wouldn't know
anything about that.

Guess, look, I know I'm
not the only queer person

with a tragic backstory, sorry.

No, don't apologize.

We were showing
our family trauma.

Well, how healthy of us?

Just lemme know if
you need anything, okay?

And if anything goes
down in that gothic town

of yours, you know
where to find me.

I do, I love you guys.

I love you too,
bitch. You got this.

Too early.
What's the rush?

There'll be trucks

and cars full of kids
getting to Christmas.

- Mm.
- You know the drill.

Don't go.

Baby, you know I have to go.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you more and better.

♪ Hush hush hush now ♪

♪ You're being too loud ♪

♪ Welcome to my delusions ♪

♪ My perfume is your pollution ♪

♪ Welcome to silent auctions ♪

♪ Wraps you up like
contact paper ♪

♪ You're gonna love the ending ♪

♪ Spoilers learn
info's contagious ♪

♪ Suck my blood pretend ♪

♪ I'm where the venom lives ♪

♪ Kill the ♪

The pack of Yeti Menthols?

Get back to, Barry.

Lola.

Uh-huh.

Danielle, your sister is here.

You remember me, right?

How could I forget?

You gave me my first
nipple twister.

Yeah, welcome
to the house, bitch.

Lola, oh my God.

You're beautiful.

Isn't she gorgeous?

Scrubs up will, I guess.

Oh, put your stuff in the
first bedroom on the left

and then come to the lounge
for a glass of bubbly.

You're not gonna
break out the good stuff

for this little shit, are ya?

Ignore her, she's the
same old butch bitch.

Huh, nice.

And everyone at
school was right.

She was a Dyke all along.

So watch out for her.

Yeah. Not my type.

Be nice.

I don't
know any man named Hern.

I was at home last
night and there he is.

Oh, yeah.

Well, you must walk
in your sleep at night

'cause you stayed at
the apartment last night

at the Airport Hotel in Oakland

where you registered.

Did I tell you Danielle's
brother's back in town?

I thought she was trans?

Yeah, sure. Whatever.

Come on. Don't be all
classic transphobic like that-

I'm not transphobic.

Yeah, sure. Okay.

Just be nice to her and
shut up and jump me, okay?

I've got the night shift
in an hour and a half

and I'm gonna feel
lighter on my feet.

The fuck?

Fuck, shit.

Jesus, Danny, get yourself
a decent coffee machine.

You're not washing your clothes
down by the river, are you?

No Lola, we don't.

We just don't have
real coffee much,

so I went to the store

and bought you a nice brand
and now it's burned, I'm sorry.

Look, don't be.

Even bad coffee is better
than no coffee at all.

So Julie Hoptin.

Oh, you noticed?

I swear she sneaks
out of the house

like I'm her mother
or something.

That's a bit Freudian.

Right? She usually
comes home though.

Do you think it's me?

Oh no, it's, no, I doubt it.

I mean, she's a bit, but
she wouldn't hide away.

You're right, the Julie
I know would stay just

to pick on me.

She's changed a lot
since we were teens.

Could've fooled me.

You have though.

What happened to the metal
t-shirts and skinny leg jeans?

They were called stove pipes

No, no, things change.

You're right.

She could've
messaged me at least.

Things aren't like they were
out there when we were kids.

Hmm.

The economic crisis
hit us pretty hard.

Farms were lost.
Businesses closed.

I mean, things got a lot
better later in general,

but it got a lot
rougher around here.

Bad people got a lift.

I had no idea.

I guess they don't care much

for small town problems
in the big city.

No, they don't care
about big city problems

with the big city either.

They step over homeless
people like they're trash

on the sidewalk.

I never could get used to it.

Maybe Julie forgot her keys.

I don't understand.
Is this a joke?

The Toymaker.

Would Julie do something
like this just to scare us?

No way.

Are you kidding me? And
what's this supposed to be?

It's evidence.

I don't have time for this.

Looks like you've
got plenty of time.

- Who is this?
- My sister.

I didn't know
you had a sister.

Well, now you do. Are
you going to look for her?

I'm not gonna call
a search for Julie.

She's probably out
scissoring someone's wife.

I beg your pardon?

Okay, keep your
panties out of a twist,

I'll do a call to keep
an eye out for her.

If she's still AWOL
in a couple of days,

you can file a
missing person thingy.

I'm sorry, a
missing person thingy?

This guy's a fucking moron.
- Hey, I could have you

arrested for just
talking like that.

Constable Banks-

Senior Constable.

Congratulations on
the promotion, Senior
Constable Banks.

Are you at least going
to look at the card?

Creepy. Looks like a prank.

It's clearly threatening.

If Julie was
fiddling with my wife,

I'd be threatening her too.

Look, you have no
idea how many kids

or even grownups are pranking us

with this Toymaker bullshit.

If we investigated every
prank or Toymaker sighting,

we'd have no time to
catch any real criminals.

Oh my God. Forget about it.

Come on, let's go.

So I'm guessing there was

an incident involving
someone's wife.

Sort of, small town bullshit.

Cassie Connor, well,
Cassie Summers then,

but she was already
separated from her husband

and Julie had a
little fling with her.

That's all, the entire thing
was blown out of proportion

by a town of fucking Karens.

Wait, wait, wait, Summers?

As in Barry Summers?

Yeah, his brother, Paul.

Swear to God,

this town has more fucking
soap opera bullshit

going on than Ramsay Street.

Aha, yeah.

Do you know where
Julie's friends live?

No, but I don't have to.

They all hang out
in Nowhere Club.

Where?

The Nowhere Club.
It's a gay bar.

Sorry, a gay bar here?

Well, it's more of
a nightclub, really.

A nightclub in this town.

♪ I see the ♪

Feel like
you're really good at it.

- I am.
- Totally catch.

Whoa. Whoa, whoa.

Look what the cat dragged in.

Does that make me the cat?

Deb says that every time.
The one with the loud mouth.

Oh, the nerve on this one.

Everyone,
this is my sister, Lola.

- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.

Your sister's quite
the town gossip.

I'm not. Okay, maybe
I am a little bit.

This is Kit.

Her sister's name is
Kat. I shit you not.

Yeah, look, the parents
had a sense of humor.

Obviously.

This is Abby.

Hi.

And the lady, Sarah.

Don't listen to this silly
bitch. I am a baroness.

- Really?
- No, but I just like

to think I am classier
than these girls.

Lola, darling, you don't
recognize me, do you?

What?

Mr. Proctor?

One and the same.

- No.
- Wait, what's this?

I was actually a teacher
at St. Joan's High back

in the day when
Lola was in town.

Wow. Really?

- Yeah.
- You were a teacher?

- Mm-hmm.
- Wait, what'd you teach?

Business, maths, I
actually used to teach

the girls hockey team as well.

Danny here was quite
the pro back in the day.

I was okay.

I remember you teaching-

No, don't say it.
Don't you say it.

Yeah. What?

No, seriously, I'll take
it to my grave.

Religious education.

No, you fucking didn't.

Yes. Yes, I did.

You are mean, girl.

Well, you failed me.

No I didn't.

You did. In year
10, you failed me.

I had to take that class twice.

Wait a minute.

The essay saying
that the apostles

- Faked the Resurrection.
- The Resurrection.

Oh my God. No, seriously,
I was so mad at that.

That was you. That
was you, wasn't it?

Oh my God, and she
was so good about it.

Like a bloody detective she was.

Wait, weren't you
the kid that found

that skeleton of
the missing girl?

- That was her.
- That's fucking amazing.

And obviously really horrible.

It would've been like a
really horrible experience.

Has anyone heard from Julie?

I thought she walked.

She's probably snuggling
somewhere with Kat.

No, I mean Kat's on
night shift all weekend.

I mean, I didn't
speak to her today,

but that's not
actually unusual, so.

Where does she work?

Mm, Green Leaf
Station on Maine.

Julie snuck out to see
her last night, I'm sure,

but she never came home.

That's weird, I might call
her and just see where she is.

Is she usually so secretive?

Not with us.

I mean, it's not necessarily
safe to be out here,

if you know what I mean.

I see.

No, no, no, don't
bring up her ex.

Fuckin' Jerry still has eyes
on her. He's a fucking creep.

Wait, Jerry as in Brick Kelly?

Yes.

Sorry, Brick?

That's what we used
to call him at school.

He was, is a little
stupid, I guess.

Come on, he's not that stupid.

He's just kind of
lazy and aggressive.

His parents owned that big
chicken factory up on the hill,

so he never had to
try at anything.

And they ignored him,
which made him act out.

How did Kat end up with him?

Kind of charmed his way in
with her at the beginning.

I mean, like the family
wasn't doing great at the time

when he just came in with
his rugged good looks and so-

Stop, stop, stop,
rugged good looks?

I hate to admit
it, he came out

of the awkward teens
looking pretty good.

What other fucked guys from
my childhood got a glow up?

Well, I don't
know about Barry.

He stayed the same really.

But Dave went to
the city for uni

and had some kind of
argument with his family

and now he runs a
history society.

Seriously, wow.

People change, I guess.

I guess. Anyway, ladies,
raise 'em if you got 'em.

Danny and I have to go.
I got a paper to write.

And, honey, be sure
to come back anytime.

Suffice to say I
don't teach anymore.

I actually own this shit hole,

so you got a home away
from home here, all right?

So just remember that, please.

I will. Thank you.

- Nice to meet you.
- See ya. Bye.

Do you mind
trying Julie again?

Yes, I can.

If Kat doesn't
answer her phone,

I'm gonna fucking kill her.

Lemme guess,
we're going to the Green Leaf?

No.

You haven't changed a bit.

This town sure fucking has.

That's for sure,
for better and worse.

You know, your friends
are pretty fucking cool.

Yeah, they're
Julie's friends really.

They're so nice to me.

Danny, they're nice to you

because they're
your friends too.

I guess.

No, Kat isn't here today.

And she didn't rock up for
her shift last night either.

So if you see her,

tell her to not bother
coming back in again.

Lovely, is she usually
so unreliable with shifts?

What, are you a cop?

No.

Well, if you're not
gonna get any fuel,

you wanna come inside

and have a cup of cruelty-free
fairly acquired coffee

I've got in there?

Listen, I don't think
we're gonna waste any more

of your valuable time.

It's still the same shitty town.

Just glossed over a little bit.

There's like cafes with real
coffee and fancy servos.

And even that queer bar.

I don't know.

It's the same but different.

I guess you can paint over
the walls of a haunted house,

but the ghosts are still there.

Hey, that's poetic. You
should give that to Farrah.

No way. She can
come up with her own material.

Anyway, Charlie, I'm really
worried about this thing-

Lola, the TV,
quick. It's about Julie!

While
authorities have said that she

was likely a victim

of a robbery gone
tragically wrong,

the police have refused

to go on record about the
state of Kat Lancaster's body,

which was discovered by
local teen Mark Palone.

Ms. Lancaster was last
seen with Julie Lane,

who's been missing since
the night of the attack.

I can't believe
I let you talk me

into letting you tag along.

She
was my friend, Lola.

Besides us, it's not safe
for you out here alone.

We may not even be
safe out here together,

so keep the
flashlight down, okay?

Do you see anything?

Police made a fucking mess

of the scene, there's
boot prints everywhere.

You know, they towed the car,

but I don't think they even
fucking dusted for prints.

Wait.
- What, what is it?

Are these hand marks?

- Lola?
- Nothing.

Shh, get down.

Do you
think he's on us?

Fucking doubt it.

Cops in this town always
have one hand on their dick

and one hand on their phone.

But we need to be careful, okay?

What did you find?

I think Julie got away.

Are you sure?

Yeah, but I don't know
for how long, wait here.

Fuck that, Lola, wait for me.

- Don't come here.
- Lola!

Trust me, just-

So Julie's parents
never showed then?

No. They disowned
her after, you know?

And Kat's parents are
both passed on, so...

It was a car accident.

The twins were 17
when it happened.

It was terrible.

Poor Kat.

All alone
in the world now.

She's not, but it's sure
gonna fucking feel like it.

I don't know,
twins are different,

especially when it's-

Piece of fucking shit.

I know it was you.

Fuck are you talking about?

- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Get the fuck away from me.

Any more of this, you're
gonna spend the night

in jail, Kit.

Are you fucking serious?

Back away.

At my sister's funeral?

Back away.

What are you
gonna do about it?

Back away.

You haven't done
anything about it.

What are you gonna do about it?

Is that Harry Thatcher?

Yeah. Old man Beer Can.

Still
playing this old game, eh?

Poor guy.

Well, his liver
finally popped.

No, he was bashed to death.

They found him by an old pub

It was armed robbery, they said.

There's a lot of fucking
botched robberies going

on around here.

You, Lola, or whatever.

Sergeant Kelly wants
to speak to you.

Well, why don't you
lead the way, Constable?

Senior Constable.

Will you be all right?

Do you want me
to come with you?

No stay here.

Grab a seat.

I understand you came back
to town a couple of days ago.

That's right.

It says here you
were christened as-

I know what I
was christened as.

I had it changed
to Lola legally.

I see, and you're
here for Christmas?

Correct.

With your family?

My sister.

You only have your sister
and your father here.

Is that correct?

Obviously.

Have you seen your father?

No.

Why not?

Listen, is this any of
your fucking business?

Look, Lola,
here's what I know.

This town hasn't seen a
crime worse than shoplifting

or a drunken fight
in quite some time.

Then you arrive
from the big smoke

and we have two murders.

You think I'm the killer?

I am aware of what you do.

Student of forensic science

and you're a host of a
radio show about such-

Podcast.

A podcast then.

Details, Sergeant,
they're everything.

Wouldn't you agree?

When you were a little...

When you were a child,

you discovered the
remains of Nel Jenkins,

the missing girl of
this town's only murder.

Only murder, are you for real?

I beg your pardon.

Murders, quite a
history of them actually.

1853, an indigenous family is
murdered, including two kids

after the father is suspected

of stealing eggs, fucking eggs.

1923, Bethany Jans is murdered

by her psychotic fucking husband

in a blind drunk rage.

He got off too,
temporary insanity.

Just like he was
temporarily insane

every time he'd beat the
living Christ out of her.

1946, wartime, Michael Arata,

a Japanese abattoir
worker, he was murdered.

What was his crime,
being Japanese?

He had blunt force
trauma consistent

with three police cudgels,

but you boys did
a mighty fine job

of covering that one up.

Not quite good enough though.

And I've come back
to town only to find

that Old Man Thatcher,
Old Man Beer Can,

the town drunk when we were
growing up, he was murdered

in a botched robbery attempt.

There's a fucking ton

of botched robberies going
around, wouldn't you say?

Yes. Yes, I see your point.

Do you? 'Cause I could go on.

I'm sure you could.

The point is, these
killings took place

after you arrived back in town.

Now I'm not saying
you're the killer,

but I do think you're
a troublemaker.

Where people like you
go, trouble follows.

And I don't want
trouble in my town.

There is a possibility

that whoever the killer
is followed you here.

A famous local who
solved an old case

now gets to solve another one.

You, a person with
a checkered history

and a dubious, what
would you kids call it?

A fan base.

Furthermore, I don't
think it's unreasonable

to assume that the anonymous
caller who found the body

of Julie Lane wasn't just
some passerby taking a piss

in the bush, but rather
someone who was looking for her

or knew where she was.

And though I can't prove this,

knowing your preoccupations,

there is a distinct possibility

that you made that call.

I'm free to leave.

You can leave this
office whenever you like.

We're not holding you.

That wasn't a question.

I see, as I said,

you can leave this
office whenever you like.

But the town, no.

Not until I say so.

You're still a person of
interest in this case after all.

Well, that's great because
I fucking love it here.

Merry Christmas, Sergeant.

One more thing.

You're gonna stop interfering

in our investigation or I'm
gonna have you arrested.

Well, then I'd get
to investigating then.

Yes, it's me.

Get Constable Kent to keep
an eye on Lola Dulling.

I wanna know every
move she makes.

Calling Unit 1,

Code 212 at the bottle
stop, Rene Street.

Can't hear, a Code what?

During
the night shift,

witness someone
abducting Sarah Whitmore.

No identification?

The kid
said it was the Toymaker.

- The fuck?
- That's what he says.

He saw the Toymaker
just carry her away.

Yeah, sure.

Ladies.

So let's get one
thing straight,

you were watching the
house the entire time

that Sarah was getting abducted?

Well actually-

Why are you here?

Why aren't you looking for
her? Do you do anything?

Hey, don't talk
to me like that.

Fuck you, Jim.

Listen, I'm just doing my job.

I was told to come here

and let you guys
know that I was here

when everything happened,

so neither of you
are on a suspicion.

No shit.

But if you know anything,
you need to tell me.

We were here the entire time.

What could we possibly
fucking tell you?

We have the whole town
waking up to the rumor

that a ghost from
the fucking 30s

is going around
killing people, okay?

And the Sergeant
has us looking out

for any suspicious people
following you around.

Is that possible?

No, I don't think so.

Do you have any
enemies or any stalkers?

Lola?

No, I mean, any trans woman

on the internet
gets a lot of shit.

Turfs, religious idiots,
incels, the occasional chaser.

What's a chaser?

Chaser, someone chasing
a chick with a dick.

They ride in on their
white horse, wine, dine.

But in the end, they're
just looking to get it in.

Right, right, right,
right. Any chaser stalkers?

No, I'd know.

Yeah, you would.

Hey, listen, I like your
podcast, by the way.

Oh, thanks.

Yeah, it's pretty good.

Kinda into that stuff.

It's the whole reason
why I became a cop.

Look, the senior constable's
the old fashioned prick.

You know, find the most
convenient suspect.

Get enough dodgy evidence on
them and then put them away.

But, look, if you're doing
your own investigation,

I wanna help, but you
need to help me too.

Why should I trust you?

Well, I was here last night,
so I'm not the Toymaker.

Right. Here's how
this is gonna go.

You're gonna give me
everything you have

and then I'll decide
if I can trust you

and I come and go as I please.

Is that clear?

Fine, and if anybody asks you,

you're tired of the sight
of my handsome face.

Fine, and if you catch me
anywhere I'm not supposed to be.

No, you didn't, deal?

If I turn a blind eye
to any unlawful activity,

even for the greater
good, I could lose my job.

Fine, gimme your phone.

This is my number.

Prank me and call me if
you need anything, okay?

Now I gotta go. I have an
avenging ghost to catch.

Nice piggy.

I bet you knows his whole
life story, don't you?

No, well, yes.

Well, it'll have to wait.

Where are you going?

I'm not looking for an
avenging ghost, that's for sure.

Stay here. Lock the
door, arm yourself.

And don't answer to
anyone but me, okay?

And tell the others
to do the same.

I'm sure this fucking sick idiot

is out there looking for them.

I will.

You be careful too.

Me? Always.

She hasn't changed
a fucking bit.

Dave, Dave Robert?

Lola, hey.

Oh my God, you've changed.

Yeah, I guess so.

You look good.

You too.

Danielle said that
you worked here, so,

I, here I am,
decent gig?

Yeah, it's volunteer
for now, yeah.

But I like it.

You know, I love
these old typewriters.

Well, yeah, this, I
wish this one worked.

You can't actually get
the ink threads anymore,

but if it were up to me, I'd
probably just ditch the laptop

and just have this in the
office instead if it worked.

I'm guessing you don't get
that many people through here.

Yeah, you're the first
one this year.

That sounds like heaven.

I work at this big burger
joint back in the city

and we get tons
of drunk people in

and out all night, it's hell.

That'll be hell for me.

Here, listen, I was actually
hoping to run into you.

I was hoping you could help
me with a little research.

Yeah, yeah, of course.
What's happening?

Do you remember the
old Toymaker house?

I remember dropping
a nugget in my pants,

'cause of the Old
Man Beer Can, yeah.

- Really?
- Yeah.

I was about to ask you actually,

you planned that
with him, right?

No, he was in there
sleeping of a hangover.

He scared the shit
out of me too.

Right.

I...

Yeah?

I really regret the way that
we treated you back then.

Hey, don't worry about it.

Everyone treated me
like that back then.

Small town filled
with small people.

I can tell you you've changed.

I'm really sorry
about...

Look, sorry, what were we
talking about the house,

did you say, the...

- Oh my God, right.
- Yeah.

So I'm looking for
anything about anyone

that lived there
after the murders.

Right, Nancy Crew on
the case then, yeah?

You're a listener.

Yeah. Of course.

You know, I never
thought I would have anyone

in this town listening to my
podcast and now I've found out

that I've got two fans
since coming back.

Yeah, I mean, it's
probably more, you know,

I know some of the
high school kids do.

You're the closest
thing this town's got to

a celebrity besides
the Toymaker.

But anyway, I don't know if
there's anything interesting.

You don't believe
mean ghosts, do you?

Sometimes I do.

With all that's happening now,

who knows what's real anymore.

You know, legends have,
legends have power.

You know, if it were up to
me, I would make a museum

of the Toymaker in that house

and then have the
legend attract tourists.

Dave, that's really dark.

I think it would work.

No, I asked the council,

they don't want
anything to do with it,

and so they don't
want the town overrun

by like freaks in the...

These look pretty, 'cause
I like freaks and ghosts.

Yeah, look, if
there's any records

or anything, I'll put
'em in the office, so.

Mm-hmm.

What's up?

Hey, pig, listen, I need you
to dig up something for me.

I was just at the old
Historical Society

and that place is fucking dusty.

Anyway, can you look up
a police record for me?

Seriously, you know
that's not as easy

as it is like in
the movies, right?

Yeah. Trust me, I know.

Something happened in 2018

that relates to
the Toymaker myth.

All I could find was newspaper
clippings and articles,

but they're all
redacted or snipped out.

Seriously, why doesn't this
town fucking digitize anything?

I figure if there's
anything that's left,

it's at the precinct, right?

Yeah. No need.

I know what it is.

It was a botched murder attempt.

A group of French backpackers
were going through the town.

Stayed a few days.

One of 'em was a trans.

Go on.

Well, apparently
she was arrested

by a few locals at the
Fox and Firkin Pub.

Who?

B something,

Barry Summers, Gerard, Kelly.

Barry and Kim?

Huh?

Nothing, go on.

Well, apparently
somebody else tried

to attack her when she went out

for a packet of cigarettes
a few days later.

Tried to drag her
through the alley.

Beat her with a hammer,
but she fought him off.

Gave the ghost a good kick
in the olds apparently.

Nice. Good stuff.

Yeah, well, apparently the
victim didn't see the face

and a witness walking her
dog said, and I quote.

He was wearing a
creepy Santa costume

like my grandpa used to wear.

And lemme guess,
Sargent said it was just some

unrelated out-of-towner, right?

Yep.

Fucking idiot.

At least he couldn't
put that one down

to a botched robbery, right?

Listen, you've kept up your
side of the bargain, Constable?

Kent, Constable
Kent, are you there?

Yeah, I'm here.

Are you anywhere near
the old Toymaker's house?

Yeah, why?

Wanted you to see it first.

It's against every
fucking regulation,

but the others would
just fuck it up

before the state
forensic team gets here.

The fuck did he do?

Blood Eagle.

What?

Blood Eagle, it's
a Viking execution.

More like a torture, really.

Almost like a fucking
Christmas angel.

That would be
consistent to theme.

No note, no toy, nothing.

Fucker wasn't done here.

I should dust for prints.

Don't fucking do that.

Then they'll know you were here.

Plus anyone that's
this meticulous

isn't exactly
gonna leave prints.

Do you see those boot marks?

Yeah, they're work boots.

I used to have the same
ones when I was 19 working

at the abattoir.

Still kept standard.

Still got 'em?

No, and fuck you.

Hey, who else used
to work with you there?

Lots of people.

What's the town business ones?

Barry Summers?

Yeah, why, do you
think he's a suspect?

I wouldn't say so.

Barry's not exactly
the creative type.

Maybe not, but he
sure loved killing.

He was on a Death Squad,
as we called them.

What?

The Death Squad.

They make the livestock
the dead stock.

The others always
said that he used

to have this creepy
grin every time he

would bolt a cow,
even game bang.

Yeah. Why does
that not surprise me?

See there on the forearm?

Aha.

Now look at the bruising,

I'd say she was dead before
he tied her up, thankfully.

Fuck, I can't, how the
fuck is he that strong

to do all of this?

Sarah wasn't exactly huge.

He dropped her a few times
trying to get this right too.

So we're not exactly
looking for Hercules then.

Did you call this in?

No. I'm supposed
to be watching you.

With that door open,

the whole town's gonna
be here from the smell,

so we need to get the
fuck outta here now, go.

Lola's cops collection service.

You rack 'em, we pack 'em.

Lola, what the fuck
is going on down there?

Listen, Charlie, I was
gonna call you today,

but there was no time.

Brutal murders
in the town of Padan.

How the fuck did you think
I was not gonna find out?

I'm surprised I told
you this, to be honest,

News broke minutes ago.
I found out hours ago.

Seriously, how?

Partly, 'cause no one gives
a what happens out there.

But I only found out

'cause I know a guy
that keeps track

of rural broadcasters
chasing corruption claims,

and he saw the report
of the first killing

on the Padan News.

He contacted the local station,

but the police told them not

to report on anything too scary,

so they don't cause a panic.

But some AvMed told him

that they knew the kids
that found the first body

and they'd gone to
the media about it.

And now there's a
hundred TV news vans

on their way right
now, and so am I.

No fucking way, Charlie.
Do not bring your arse here.

Lola, I know you've
got your Nancy Drew arse

in the middle of whatever the
fuck is happening down there,

and there's nothing
that you can say

that's gonna stop
me from coming.

Charlie, it's not
worth it for a scoop.

This isn't about some story.

This is about me white
knighting your arse outta

that horror movie
you call a town.

- Fine.
- Send me your

sister's address
and for God's sake,

please keep your head
down and stop snooping.

Charlie, I need you
to do something for me.

Lola, stop it.

It's not like that.

Listen, I could be
in danger either way.

I need you to
contact your friend

and ask them if they
can find out anything

about Sergeant Kelly, all right?

Okay, fine, shit,

but you have to promise me

to text me every 10 seconds
so I know where you are.

I will, Sergeant
Kelly. Have you got that?

Sergeant Kelly,
yeah, I'll remember.

I'll see you in a few hours.

I love you, Charlie.

I love you more and better.

Saw card freaked.

We're all at the
Nowhere Club and armed.

We can't get ahold of Kit.

Stop looking for killer.

Please come here quick.

I was about to call you.
The state cops are coming in.

All hell is breaking loose.

Listen, I know.

Was one of Kat's ears missing

from her body when you found it?

No. None of them were, why?

Oh my God.

What is it?

You need to find Kit now.

Kat's sister, what happened?

There's a severed ear on
my sister's front porch.

That's what's happened,
and now Kit is missing.

The sister? Shit.

Where are you?

I'm near the bar.

The Nowhere Club.
- What? Why?

I was actually
watching your sister's house,

like I'm supposed to
be doing for once,

but I saw her leave,
so I followed her.

You didn't see anyone
deliver anything to the house?

No, but I wasn't there
the whole day, as you know.

Right, the other
pigs found Sarah?

Both banks and Serg
are there with the ambos.

You know, it's fuckin' weird.

What is?

I was listening on the radio

when the senior
constable found the body.

He immediately called dispatch

and told them to
call it into state

as we're under obligation to do.

But when Serg found out that
he had called the state police,

he started going on
about going over his head

as if he were-

Changing the line of argument.

Yeah, exactly.

The sergeant has been burying
this from the beginning.

The first two deaths,
that bullshit about
a botched robbery.

He's been trying to make
sure the state police

didn't find out and
the media, but why?

I don't know, maybe he didn't
want the town to be overrun

by reporters and detectives.

It's been enough chaos
here in the recent news,

but at the cost
of people's lives.

He doesn't think of
these victims as people.

Nobody in this town does.

Huh, then maybe you're right.

- Wait.
- What is it?

What's going on?

Someone's...
I'll call you back.

Kent, fuck!

- Oi.
- Oh, for fuck's sake.

Not now.

Well, look at this, mate.

Faggot's back in town

and he's telling pigs
that I killed Julie.

Babe, I never said that.

Don't fuckin' lie to me.

Yeah, don't fuckin' lie to us.

Barry, Brick, I haven't told
anyone that you killed anyone

because I think you're
both too fucking stupid

to pull off something
as meticulous as
this, especially you,

because you wouldn't have two
brain cells to string together

to switch on a fucking
Christmas ornament.

So why don't you get
the fuck out of my way

before anyone else gets
murdered by a real psychopath,

not two cowards who
could only murder someone

if they were old and
fucking defenseless.

- Let's go.
- Lola?

Let's go, go.

Lola, were they?

No. Oh my God, why the
aren't you at Danielle's house?

Bitch, you knew I was
gonna come looking for you.

We need to get to
The Nowhere Club now.

The what?

The Nowhere Club.

What did your friend find?

A fair bit.

He dug up some stuff
on your Sergeant Kelly.

He's brothers with the mayor

and both are in some redneck
oligarch farming family

with ties to
conservative groups,

oil companies, you name it.

During the financial crisis,

they brought up all
the farmland in Padan.

They wanna turn it into some
rich arsehole golf resort.

They even brought out the
old meats order place.

The abattoir?

Yeah. Right, ugh.

Those fuckers are haunted
by a million cow ghosts.

They'd probably do
anything to protect that kind

of wealth, including
covering up a murder.

No, a murderer.

A murderer in the
family could bring

the whole fucking thing down.

This is insane.

No, someone in
their family is insane

and the cops are covering it up.

Did he say who else in town
was connected to the Kellys?

A few other
families actually by marriage,

the Banks family, the
Kents and Roberts family.

So everyone
else in town?

Wait, unless it-

Oh, shit,
you just had one

of your Sherlock Holmes
brainstorms, didn't you?

Fuck yeah, I did.

Lola, where
are you going now?

Just inside the bar there.

And I need you to go to
the Historical Society.

It's not far, I just
need you to go there

and break in for me.

Oh, you just need
me to go break in

and check on something for you?

Bitch, do you know who
you're fucking talking to?

You know who you're
dating, right?

I bey you still
have that lock pick

that I bought you for
your birthday, right?

Yeah. All right.

And be on the lookout. Okay?

This is the kind of sick
fuck to lay booby traps.

- Booby traps.
- Charlie, grow the up.

No, I won't.

Jack in the box.

Hello?

Hello? Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, hold on.

Hold on, I've got you.
Oh, fuck, oh, shit.

Oh, fuck!

Shit, I'm with Lola.

I'm with Lola. I'm
with Lola, you're good.

You're safe. You're
safe, you're okay.

Okay, let's get you of here.

What the fuck?

Lola?

Lola?

Lola?

I showed you my
little girl, Lola.

You had to keep this secret.

You did it all, right?

So I had to come. I had to.

I had to kill to bring you here.

Give yourself to me

and no more blood
will be shed, hmm?

Close your eyes.
Give yourself to me!

So what, now
you're the phantom

of the fucking opera,
Spring-heeled Jack?

Spring-heeled Jack.

I always appreciate the
history of above among us.

Jack in the Box.

You're the closest thing
this town's got to a celebrity.

Podcast then.

Not very inventive, Dave.

Dave is dead, okay?

You wish.

Dave is dead, Okay?

The Toymaker didn't
get you, Dave. They did.

Barry, Gimp, your
whole fucking family.

I know what it feels like when
the people who are supposed

to love you reject you
for who you are, Dave.

Shut up. Shut up!

So when Barry killed
Old Man Beer Can,

you knew you could get away
with it too, the boots.

These are same
ones when I was 19,

working at the other-

Nice touch, hoping that
they'd pin that on Barry.

Not good enough, Dave.

I found your porn
collection, Dave.

You know, if it were up to me,

I would make a museum
of the Toymaker house.

Have the legend
attract tourists.

That's really dark.

Any chaser stalkers?

In the end, they're
just looking to get it in.

It must have really you off

when that trans
backpacker rejected you,

but we're not all that
easy, are we, Dave?

That must have made
you so fucking mad.

Mad enough for murder.

My heart used to cry
like that too, Dave.

Every day, every night.

Innocent people-

Hey, look at me, hmm?

I hate you.

No, Dave, you fucking love me.

Who the fuck are you, huh?

Get off of him.

My parents put
me in Muay Thai,

but I never thought I'd need it.

We're a great team.

You know martial arts and
I used to teach wood shop.

No, don't hurt him.

We could've been
friends, Dave.

Merry fucking Christmas.

Did he just shit on my floor?

Lola, Lola, Lola, you okay?

I'm fine, I'm fine.

Hey, it's just a scratch.

Did you find Kit?

Yeah, I found her. I took
her straight to the hospital.

She's hurt and she's in
shock, but she's okay.

What the hell happened here?

You know what happened here.

Your nephew, the
monster this town made,

the monster your family made.

You're not going anywhere.

Fuck you, porky.

And one more thing,

evidence that Barry
killed Old Man Beer Can

is already in the hands
of the journalists,

so I suggest you start
making some arrests

before the state police do.

You're gonna pay to clean
up this mess. You got that?

Then we were stuck in
town for another week or so,

getting questioned
by the state police.

Felt like forever.

It must've been hell.

To be honest, they
really just flew by.

There was a lot to go over.

Last I heard the perp
was out of hospital

and in some sort of maximum
security institution.

Boy, is he
never getting out.

Hey, hey. What's wrong?

It's me. It's me, hold my hand.

Squeeze my hand. It was a dream.

Yeah, anyway,
with Barry in jail

for killing Old Man Beer Can,

it brought down this web of
corrupt families one by one.

Totally ruined any
idea that they had

of turning the whole
thing into a resort.

I think another company's
bought it all up now though.

Anyway, listeners, if
you want the full story,

"The Toymaker Murders"
by Farrah Stone,

it's her first
official publication
through our new label,

Nancy Crew Publishing,
which is really exciting,

and it's gonna be out soon.

So we'll let you know if she's
doing a signing and where

and when because it is
a fucking crazy read.

Are you the real Lola?

Uh-huh.

Three of my friends
have gone missing

and I think someone's
following me.

No one's doing
anything about it.

Hey, it's all right.

Come with us. Let's
see what we can do.

Tell me all about it, okay?

Here we go.

♪ Toyland ♪

♪ Little girl and boy land ♪

♪ While you dwell within it ♪

♪ You are ever happy there ♪

♪ Childhood's joy land ♪

♪ Mystique merry toy land ♪

♪ Once you pass its borders ♪

♪ You can never return again ♪

♪ Childhood's joy land ♪

♪ Mystique merry toy land ♪

♪ Once you pass its borders ♪

♪ You can never return again ♪

♪ Once you pass its borders ♪

♪ You can never return again ♪