All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S05E22.WEBRip.x264-ION10.English

Helen... Helen,
what a nice surprise.
What are you doing here?

Well, a grandmother
shouldn't need an excuse

to come and see her precious
and beloved grandkids.

Or her favorite son
or his wonderful wife,

who's brought such happiness
to our family.

God, Mom,
you're not dying,
are you?

Frank, no, relax.

I'm fine.

I did drive over
for a reason, though.

I have decided
to give all of you

an advance
on your inheritance.

Yes! Yes, yes!
I'm rich, I'm rich!

My ship has finally come in!

Take it easy, J.T.

You get no cash
till I croak.

What I'm talking about
is taking all of you

on a little trip
the first week of
summer vacation.

Well, gee, Mom,
that's really
generous of you,

but you see,
Carol and I
already have plans

to celebrate
our anniversary
that week.

Yeah, Frank is taking me
to a romantic

little bed and breakfast
in the mountains.

So, what are you saying?

So our happiness
gets sacrificed

so you two can go play

the forest ranger
and the lonely wood nymph?

Well, now, look,

if you have other plans,
I understand.

I certainly do.

It's just that I thought
the kids would enjoy

a week at Walt Disney World.

- Disney World?
- My goodness.

Hey, bag their anniversary,
we're going to Florida.

Yeah, you guys are too old
to have sex anyway.

No, no, no, wait.
Now just a minute, kids.

If your parents
have other plans,

it's only fair to leave
the decision up to them.

So, they can go on
their own vacation,

or we can all
go to Disney World.

We're going to Disney World!

Okay, everybody,
we've got a big week ahead,

so let's get settled.

Girls, I want you
in the back bedroom.

And, boys, you will be
on the pull-out sofa.

And, Frank, you and I
and Lilly will be in
the master bedroom.

Yeah, yeah, gee, Ma,
you sure you're gonna be okay

alone over there
in that big condo?

Who says I'm going
to be alone?

Come on, girls,
I'll help you unpack,

and then I'll tell you
all about the weekend in '53

when I tangoed
with Ricardo Montalbán.

Gee, honey,
make her stop.

I don't wanna hear about
her weekend "Fantasy Island"
with Ricardo.

Grow up, Frank.

Okay, Lilly.

Hello, Lamberts.

It's me,
the Halke-meister.

Whoo! Look at this place.

I was wondering when
you guys would get here.

Hey, Rich, man,
how was the pool?

Splendid.
I think you all should
join me for a dip.

Yeah, speaking of "dips."

What are you doing here?

Well, you know the money
J.T. and I are saving to
get an apartment together,

we just used a little bit
of it to get me a bus fare
out here.

Yeah, I invited Rich
to stay with us.

Did I forget
to tell you that?

Yes.

Well, it worked out,
'cause he's here.

Hey!

So, where am I sleeping?

Well, you get to sleep

right over here on
the sofa pull-out bed
with J.T.

Man, I finally get a chance
to sleep with somebody

and it's J.T.

Hey, Frank, you in here?

Flash?

Hey, J.T.
Hey, Frank.

Hey, Rich.

Mark! Hey, Brendan.

- Hey...
- Isn't it awesome?

- I can't believe I found you.
- Hey, Flash.

What are you
doing here?

Well, I was on my way
to New Orleans for
the blues festival,

and, um, well,
I realized you left
your hammer in my truck.

So I hung a Louie in Tupelo,
and here I am.

You drove 500 miles
to return a hammer?

It's a really nice hammer.

Hey, nice digs.

Maybe I oughta blow off
that blues thing

and stay here with you.

You wanna stay here with us?

I'd love to.

Frank, you're the greatest!

I've always wanted
to come to this place!

Hey, guys, slumber party!

And then!

Do you wanna go do,
um, the haunted house?

My God, that is so funny
when you sit in there.

We have to
go do that, too.

-It'll be so much fun.
-Do you know who the perfect
hunk is?

Prince Charming.

I'd like to party
at his castle.

Karen,
he's a cartoon character.

I mean, personally,
I would rather go
with a real man.

One of those guys that
runs the jungle boat ride.

Hey, listen to what it says
in this trivia book.

"Boris Petrikovsky from
the Russian Republic
of Uzbekistan

"set a record by visiting
every attraction in the park

"in just under four days."

A Russian holds the record?

That's a disgrace.

This place is American
like Mom, like apple pie,

like the ButtMaster.

I'm gonna break this
Russian guy's record,

and bring the title
back home where it belongs.

Look, guys, look,
there it is!

-All right.
-Let's go.

Frank,
this is gonna be great.

Yeah, well, honey,
I wanted to spend
our anniversary alone.

Yeah, well,
maybe we can be alone.

You know, our kids
are old enough to go
off on their own,

and your mother said
she'd be glad to
watch the baby.

So why don't you and I take
a ride on Peter Pan's Flight?

- Wow, a kiddie ride.
- No, no, no.

Actually, it's a slow-moving
fantasy ride in the dark.

And, you know,
when you and I are
alone in the dark,

it's adults-only.

I like the way you think,
Tinker Bell.

I'll go get the stroller,

and then you and I can
make our way to Fantasyland.

Yes!

Ma, Ma! Hey!

Frank, Frank,
I know I said I'd watch
the baby for you,

but today
is not a good day.

Jean-Claude and I
have plans.

Jean-Claude?
Well, where did
Jean-Claude come from?

France.

He was on the ferry.

Doesn't speak
a word of English.

Guess we'll just have
to use body language.

Ma, I don't wanna hear
about your love life, okay?

- We go.
- Yeah.

-Hey, Dad, we're
going on the rides.
-Yeah, okay.

-Here, hold my shirt.
-Yeah, and my backpack.

- And my makeup bag.
- Hey, I'm not your pack mule,
you know?

-Here, Frank,
hold my camera, okay?
-And my poncho, please?

Come on, come on, come on.

-Dad, here you go.
-Thanks, Mr. L.

I love this ride.

You know the little dog
with the keys in his mouth?

-He's real, man.
-Get out of here, man.

-I swear.
I saw him breathing.
-What are you talking about?

Ahoy, matey.

Wenches off
the starboard bow.

Aye, let's send up a signal
and see if they're friendly.

Argh. Aye.

Hey, hey, love the movie.

Whoo-hoo!

Excuse us, ladies.

We couldn't help notice
you look a little lost.

Is there anything
we can do to help?

Yeah, we're trying to
decide where to eat lunch,

but this map
is so confusing.

Allow me.
Let's see here.

We got Italian, seafood,
and Chinese.

-What's your pleasure?
-Well, I hear Pinetta's
is really great.

But it's really expensive.

I'd give anything
to eat there.

Really?

Well, ladies,
this just happens
to be your lucky day,

because I happen
to own Pinetta's.

It's okay, Rich.

I think we can
trust the ladies
with our little secret.

Are you serious?
You own Pinetta's?

Actually, the family does.

And everything else
around here.

Allow me to
introduce myself.

My name is J.T. Disney.

Really?

As in Walt Disney?

Well, I don't like
to talk about it much.

I still miss him.

This is my,
business associate

and bodyguard,
Rich Halke.

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

Mr. Disney, might I have
a word with you alone?

Certainly. Okay.
Here you go.

When we come back,
we'll head over to Pinetta's.

Great.

Hey, are you nuts?!

J.T. Disney?

All right, man,
so maybe I exaggerated
just a little bit.

Man, come on,
I had to do something
to impress these girls.

Look at them,
they're gorgeous.

J.T., we're on
a very strict budget here.

We can't afford
some pricey restaurant.

Rich, you know what
they say about money.

You have to spend it
to make it.

And if we wanna make it
with these girls,

- we're gonna have to spend it.
- I see what you're saying.

You spend it,
you make it.

Yeah, buddy.

Stick with me,
and you'll find
a whole new meaning

to the words
"Orlando Magic."

All right.

I love my park.

That was a really
great lunch, J.T.,

but, um, why did
the waiter laugh

when I called you
"Mr. Disney"?

That's 'cause he's got
a laughing disorder.

So, where do you ladies
wanna go this afternoon?

We'd love to go to Epcot.

I think you can catch
the bus right over there.

Wait a second,
wait a second.

A bus? No, no, no.

J.T. Disney
does not ride in a bus.

Your carriage awaits, ladies.

A limo? For us?

Yeah, but you'd better
hurry up and get in it,

because at midnight,
it turns into a pumpkin.

Come on.

Excuse me.

Where did this come from?

I went to the phone
and ordered it while
we were at lunch.

Man, you are never
gonna pull this off.

No one in the park
is going to believe
you're J.T. Disney.

Besides, we've been
saving up a long time

for this money
for our apartment,

and you're
blowing it like crazy.

Rich, will you
just relax, buddy?

I'm just taking
a little seed money
so love will grow, okay?

Yeah, well, you're certainly
putting enough
fertilizer on it.

Come on, man.

Flash, what are you doing?

Yeah, you'll never break
that Russian guy's record

if you're just
sitting around.

What are you talking about?

I've already done 23 rides,
and it's only two o'clock.

It's not just the rides.

It says here that Boris
"not only went
on all 107 rides,

"but he also ate
at all 197 restaurants
and food carts,

"and shopped at each of
the 177 souvenir stands."

In four days?

No. I'm doomed.

I'm gonna let
my country down.

I'm going to be
the worst thing that
happened to America

since Roseanne sang
the National Anthem.

Get a hold of yourself, man.

It's not too late.
We can still do this.

How?

Brendan, you hit up
the Advance Team

and hold Flash's place
in line on all the rides.

Flash, activate
your cell phone,

and I'll set up communications
and monitor your progress

at Disney Ride Central.

-Can you do that?
-Are you kidding?

I'm sure they want the title
back on American soil
just as much as we do.

-Let's do it.
-All right.

Yeah.

Okay, as soon as I'm done
with Astro Orbiter,

I'm on my way
to Alien Encounter.

Negative, repeat,
that's a negative, Flash.

Plans have changed
on Alien Encounter.

Access route is impeded,
parade in progress.

Repeat, parade in progress.

Please choose alternate route
going through Fantasyland

and proceed directly
to Jungle Cruise.

-Over.
-Roger, Mission Control.

Changing coordinates
to Adventureland.

Come on, come on.
It just started.

Hi, there, jungle boy.

All right, Flash,
once you exit the teacups,

proceed directly to
Liberty Square for refueling.

Um, Houston,
we have a problem.

Food intake impossible.

G forces have my stomach
set on hurl.

Negative, Flash.
Do not hurl. Suck it up.

We have 179
food locations to go.

Put Fantasyland
on the master.

More coffee, Mr. Foster?

Thanks, Julie.

It's gonna be a long day.

All right, Flash,
you've done all you can at
the Magic Kingdom for today.

So give your souvenirs
to Brendan,

and catch the 5:02 monorail
and please proceed to Epcot.

Hey, Innoventions Orbit
completed.

Any chance I could
sit down for dinner?

Negative on the
sit down, Flash.

Proceed to
Nine Dragons Restaurant,

Advance Team
has shrimp lo mein
waiting for you.

Ten-four.

Not that way, the other way.

Ten-five. Ten-five.

I love this!

Okay, Lilly's finally down.

-Kids are asleep.
-Yeah.

That's nice, honey.

Say, Carol,
does that little dog

in the Pirates
of the Caribbean
look real to you?

Actually, I had another
attraction in mind.

Yes, it's called
"Mrs. Lambert's Wild Ride."

Dad, Carol, you in there?

If we said no,
would you go away?

Dad, the sofa bed's
too small,

and Rich keeps
putting his arm around me
and calling me Monica.

You mind if I sack out
in here tonight?

-Yes, we mind.
-Okay, good.

Well, I'll just sleep in that
big tub in the bathroom, 'kay?

What?!

Can we sleep in here?

Yeah, Rich snores
like a donkey with
a sinus infection.

Hey, why'd everybody leave?

I'm lonely in there.

Boy, Rich is here.

It's a slumber party.

Hey, cool!
Thanks, Mr. L.

Whoo!

Get out of the bed.

Getting out, Mr. L.

Hello, boys.

Yes.

Beginning to see why they
call it Pleasure Island.

-Howdy, girls.
-Howdy.

Country music talent search
Saturday night.

Y'all come,
you'll have a good time.

-Hello, there.
-"Country music talent search.

"Winner receives
a $500 college scholarship.

"Backup band provided.

"Talent scouts in attendance."

Guys, this could be
my big chance
to be discovered.

That sounds great.
I think you should go for it.

Yeah.

And you guys could be
my backup singers.

Yeah,
that sounds great.

No, sorry, Karen.
Country music is not my thing.

You know,
I'm not the hootenanny,

rhinestone,
big hair kind of gal.

Afternoon, ma'am.

On second thought.

Yippie-o-ki-yay.

Here you go.

Little something
to remember us by.

That is until tonight
when we make our own memories.

- Thank you, J.T.
- No problem.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have some banking to do.

See you tonight.

So, what time
should we meet you
for dinner tonight?

Well, I don't know.
Why don't we give you
a little call later?

Yeah, on the phone.

-Bye.
-Bye, Rich.

Do you really believe
that guy is J.T. Disney?

Who cares?
This trip isn't
costing us a dime.

And we didn't
even have to dip into
our apartment fund.

-See you tonight.
-Bye.

All right, man,
we're all set for tonight.

I got cash and everything.

With any luck,
by midnight, we'll be men,
if you know what I mean.

I know what you mean,
and I want to be a man
just as much as you,

but this is gotta be
costing us a bundle now.

-How much money
do we have left?
-I don't know.

You don't know?

What, you don't check
the receipts when you
take the money out?

No, man, I just
keep track in my head.

God.

Give me that.

Well, Mr. Disney,

would you care
to make a guess

on how much money
we have left in our account?

I don't know,
about 800, 900 bucks?

Try $11.

Eleven dollars?
How's that possible?

I'll tell you
how it's possible.

Dinners, limos,
giant stuffed animals,

a $50 tip to that mandolin guy
to sing "That's Amore"!

We're broke, man!
And it's all your fault!

- It's all my fault?
- Yes!

Yeah, right, you didn't seem
to mind spending the money

when Ashley was
sucking on your neck
in the Haunted Mansion.

Well, I didn't realize
that hickey was costing me
1,000 bucks!

It took us a year
to save up that money, man.

You blew it in two days.

You gotta be the most
irresponsible jerk
I've ever met.

If I'm such a jerk,
why don't you get out
of my face?

Don't you worry,
as soon as I can scrounge up
enough money for bus fare,

I'm heading back
to Port Washington
and find myself a new friend.