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1
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:09,661
Is today a beautiful day
or what?
2
00:00:09,748 --> 00:00:12,229
This kind of day
just makes you
glad to be alive, don't it?
3
00:00:15,798 --> 00:00:18,018
Hey there, sunshine.
How'd your day go today?
4
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,889
Men are scum.
5
00:00:19,976 --> 00:00:23,240
Do you hear me? Scum, scum!
6
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:28,202
Problems on the love boat, Dana?
7
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:31,857
I show up for my date
15 minutes early,
and I catch him
8
00:00:31,944 --> 00:00:34,556
making out with Katie Boyce.
9
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:36,384
I hate men.
10
00:00:37,863 --> 00:00:39,735
Hey, well, cheer up,
Dana, man! Heh.
11
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,824
Saturday is Valentine's Day.
12
00:00:41,911 --> 00:00:43,043
Shut up!
13
00:02:05,821 --> 00:02:06,909
J.T.
14
00:02:10,478 --> 00:02:13,133
Wait till you see the watch
that I got Carol
15
00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:15,396
for Valentine's Day.
She is gonna flip.
16
00:02:15,483 --> 00:02:16,484
Check it out.
17
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,662
Man! A Swiss Roulette?
18
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,142
These babies cost a fortune.
19
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:23,969
Yeah, but not necessarily.
20
00:02:24,056 --> 00:02:26,450
That is what people
in the jewelry business call
21
00:02:26,537 --> 00:02:28,409
a, parallel brand item.
22
00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:32,021
In other words, it's a fake.
23
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:37,766
J.T., Carol has always wanted
a Swiss Roulette watch.
24
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,811
And I would love
to get her the real thing.
25
00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,291
But I went down to Bidwells
and found out
26
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:44,468
they cost $900.
27
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:46,383
As much as I love her,
I can't afford that.
28
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:50,039
I could barely afford the bag.
29
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,650
But Dad, if you gave her this
fake watch and pretend
it's the real thing,
30
00:02:52,737 --> 00:02:54,696
isn't that kind of like
a parallel truth item?
31
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:59,570
Son, when you get married,
32
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:04,009
you will realize that
there is a deeper,
33
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:07,143
more spiritual truth,
that is just as important
34
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:09,145
as the actual truth.
35
00:03:14,977 --> 00:03:17,327
Okay, I'll give you an example.
36
00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:20,156
You're home with your wife,
you're watching Baywatch.
37
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:21,462
And she says...
38
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:28,033
"Honey, do you think
that girl in the bikini
is beautiful?"
39
00:03:29,861 --> 00:03:31,907
Now, the actual truth is...
40
00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:34,736
"Beautiful, my God! I'd sell
my soul to see her naked."
41
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:43,701
But the deeper,
more spiritual truth is,
42
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:47,662
"That girl? Honey, compared
to you that girl is dog food."
43
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:52,101
All I can say, Dad,
44
00:03:52,188 --> 00:03:53,755
is if you watch Baywatch
with your wife,
45
00:03:53,842 --> 00:03:55,713
you know nothing
about marriage.
46
00:04:08,422 --> 00:04:10,075
Mail call. Heh heh.
47
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:13,209
It's your red-hot
pre-Valentine's Day mail.
48
00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,255
Let's see now.
What do we got here?
49
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,126
Sports Illustrated
for Brendan.
50
00:04:17,213 --> 00:04:18,867
Cool.
51
00:04:18,954 --> 00:04:21,086
Rush Limbaugh Newsletter.
That's gotta be for Mark.
52
00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:26,744
Here's a mysterious
little missive
53
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,268
for the pretty blonde
over there
54
00:04:28,355 --> 00:04:29,965
reading the guy-hater book.
55
00:04:31,923 --> 00:04:33,403
Who is it from?
56
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:37,755
Some dude named
"Secret Admirer."
57
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:41,019
Throw it out.
58
00:04:41,106 --> 00:04:43,239
Aw, come on, Dana. Hey.
59
00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:45,154
You may already be a winner.
60
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,592
But you gotta enter to win.
61
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:51,552
Cody, if you're so interested,
then why don't you open it?
62
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,641
Okay, I will.
63
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:56,513
Let's see
what's in this puppy?
64
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,690
Secret admirer. Heh-heh.
65
00:05:00,822 --> 00:05:02,171
Let's see.
66
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,347
"Dear Dana..."
67
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:08,917
"I've never written a letter
like this before,
68
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:11,485
"but every time
I see you on campus,
69
00:05:11,572 --> 00:05:14,618
"I am overwhelmed
by your beauty and grace."
70
00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,230
Wow, Dana, sounds like
somebody's got a crush on you.
71
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,276
I don't know about you, man,
but if I was a chick
72
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,931
I'd be all over this dude.
Ha ha!
73
00:05:23,018 --> 00:05:24,715
Yeah, right. Okay, so I'm
supposed to melt, right?
74
00:05:24,802 --> 00:05:26,804
Because some guy says...
75
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:30,591
"You have a face
like a Botticelli angel.
76
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,507
"If Michelangelo
had had the chance
77
00:05:33,594 --> 00:05:35,378
"to paint your porcelain skin
78
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:38,338
"and classic features,
79
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:42,037
"the world would have
a true masterpiece."
80
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,779
Yeah, so, he knows
how wonderful I am. Big deal.
81
00:05:47,172 --> 00:05:50,350
"The most magical thing
about you is,
not only are you brilliant..."
82
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,265
"...but you have
an impish spirit."
83
00:05:58,445 --> 00:06:00,360
I wonder who Dana's
secret admirer is.
84
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:02,753
Dude, it's me.
85
00:06:08,193 --> 00:06:10,587
- You?
- Yeah, buddy.
86
00:06:10,674 --> 00:06:12,415
Look, man, shh...
87
00:06:12,502 --> 00:06:14,635
Every time Dana
gets dumped on
by some dude, man,
88
00:06:14,722 --> 00:06:15,853
she turns into this, like,
89
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,638
wretched, bitter old hag,
you know,
90
00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:19,988
and scares everybody away.
Ha ha.
91
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,599
Yeah, I figured if I wrote her
a secret admirer letter,
92
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,122
it might get her to lighten up.
93
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,603
She'd get a dude
just like that, right?
94
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,040
- You're a genius, Cody.
- Ha ha! I know.
95
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,129
I deserve a hug.
96
00:06:37,527 --> 00:06:40,574
A Swiss Roulette watch?
97
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,185
- Do You like it?
- Like it? I love it.
98
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,883
Frank, I've wanted one
for years.
99
00:06:45,970 --> 00:06:48,059
It is so beautiful, Frank,
100
00:06:48,146 --> 00:06:49,409
but you have to take it back.
101
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:50,584
It's too expensive.
102
00:06:50,671 --> 00:06:52,194
Honey, come on.
103
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:54,675
I really wanted to give it
to you.
104
00:06:54,762 --> 00:06:56,677
But it's so extravagant.
105
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:58,548
Yeah, but no, no, no.
Now, listen.
106
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,245
Nothing's too extravagant
for you.
107
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,421
Here, just, just put it on.
108
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,900
Put it on your wrist.
109
00:07:02,987 --> 00:07:04,380
- Wow!
- See, see how it looks there.
110
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:07,731
Frank.
111
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:10,299
It's just
the most beautiful
gift I've ever gotten.
112
00:07:10,386 --> 00:07:12,083
Well, beautiful gift
for a beautiful woman.
113
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,695
- I feel so guilty.
- Why?
114
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,610
Well, because you gave me
this gorgeous gift
115
00:07:16,697 --> 00:07:18,350
and I haven't gotten you
anything yet.
116
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,484
No, no,
that doesn't matter.
It doesn't.
117
00:07:21,571 --> 00:07:24,052
Hey, if you're
really miserable, I...
118
00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:25,836
I can think of something
you might do to
119
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,098
tide me over.
120
00:07:38,806 --> 00:07:40,285
Hello.
121
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,331
Hello. May we help you
with something today?
122
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,855
Yes, my husband bought me
a Swiss Roulette watch
123
00:07:44,942 --> 00:07:46,988
for Valentine's Day,
and I'd like to return it.
124
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,338
The Swiss Roulette
is an excellent watch.
125
00:07:49,425 --> 00:07:50,948
I hope there's
nothing wrong with it.
126
00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:54,256
No, no, no, no,
it's wonderful, it's just...
127
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,780
It's a little too expensive,
and I'd rather use the money
128
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,956
to take my husband
on a romantic trip.
129
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,524
I see. Well, if you'll
just give me the watch
130
00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,004
I'll be glad
to write up the return.
131
00:08:03,091 --> 00:08:04,962
Okay. Here it is.
132
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:16,931
Do you have
a receipt for this?
133
00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:18,759
No, it was a gift.
134
00:08:18,846 --> 00:08:20,412
But you're sure
it was purchased here?
135
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,502
Yes, it came in this bag.
136
00:08:22,589 --> 00:08:24,547
See? "Bidwells, since 1925."
137
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:28,551
And I suppose you want cash.
138
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,510
That would be great.
139
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,688
That way I can just
run across the street
140
00:08:34,775 --> 00:08:36,690
to the travel agency
and book our trip.
141
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:38,692
Well, of course.
Just, just...
142
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:44,567
Mr. Halliday, we have
one of those return situations
143
00:08:44,654 --> 00:08:46,743
which requires your attention.
144
00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:49,877
And please bring out
those new bracelets.
145
00:08:49,964 --> 00:08:52,706
We just got some
beautiful bracelets
from France.
146
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,621
Fifty percent off.
147
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:58,625
Well, I guess it wouldn't
hurt to just try one on.
148
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:01,976
-Hello.
-Hello.
149
00:09:02,063 --> 00:09:03,586
I'm Mr. Halliday, and you are?
150
00:09:03,673 --> 00:09:05,109
- Carol Lambert.
- That's nice.
151
00:09:05,196 --> 00:09:06,589
What're you doing?
152
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:08,809
-I'm arresting you for fraud.
-No, I--
153
00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,072
You tried to return
a counterfeit watch for cash.
154
00:09:11,159 --> 00:09:12,682
Counterfeit?
155
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,989
Go on, Ethel, call Bunco,
blondie's going downtown.
156
00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:17,992
But... But this was a,
a gift from my husband.
157
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:23,563
Frank.
158
00:09:28,524 --> 00:09:30,613
Ladies, guess what?
159
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:33,137
I just got the fourth letter
160
00:09:33,224 --> 00:09:34,791
from my secret admirer.
161
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,446
What did he say?
162
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:41,363
Just that I'm fairer
than the evening air
163
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:44,888
clad in the beauty
of a thousand stars.
164
00:09:47,804 --> 00:09:50,894
This is so cool! God, I wish
we knew who this guy was.
165
00:09:50,981 --> 00:09:52,548
I think I know who it is.
166
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:55,420
There is this gorgeous,
gorgeous guy named Danny
167
00:09:55,507 --> 00:09:56,987
who works
down at the Bear's Lair.
168
00:09:57,074 --> 00:10:01,122
He's like this Brad Pitt,
Billy Baldwin, Val Kilmer
169
00:10:01,209 --> 00:10:03,472
rolled into one.
170
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,126
Well, how do you know
that it's him?
171
00:10:05,213 --> 00:10:07,781
Well, he is an English
lit major, which means that
172
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:11,306
he knows poetry,
and he's been smiling
at me lately, you know,
173
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,917
in that special way.
174
00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:18,052
I'm gonna go down there
after my 4:00 class
175
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:20,663
and tell him that I have
a crush on him too.
176
00:10:24,275 --> 00:10:26,930
- I love Valentine's Day.
- Go get him, Dana.
177
00:10:30,804 --> 00:10:33,197
-Hello, you beautiful people.
-Hey.
178
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,939
I love you guys.
179
00:10:36,026 --> 00:10:38,376
Boy, somebody's in
a chirpy mood today.
180
00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:40,291
Yeah.
181
00:10:40,378 --> 00:10:41,902
Yeah, you know Dana's excited
because she got another letter
182
00:10:41,989 --> 00:10:43,338
from her secret admirer.
183
00:10:43,425 --> 00:10:45,296
Hear that, cuz?
184
00:10:45,383 --> 00:10:48,430
Dana's in a good mood
'cause of her secret admirer.
185
00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:51,433
I wonder who the mysterious
Romeo might be?
186
00:10:54,088 --> 00:10:55,785
Dana knows who he is.
187
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:57,482
She does?
188
00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:59,702
Yeah, there's this guy
named Danny who,
189
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,835
works at the coffee shop
across from campus.
190
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,185
She's going down there
after her 4:00 class
191
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,448
to tell him that
she's hot for him too.
192
00:11:08,406 --> 00:11:10,321
Houston, we have a problem.
193
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:15,849
Hey, son.
194
00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,285
Hey, Dad.
195
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,200
So, how did Carol
like her fake watch?
196
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,073
You be quiet.
197
00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:25,641
For your information,
she loved it.
198
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:29,427
In fact, I got a special little
love note in my lunch box
199
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,603
thanking me for it.
200
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:34,868
Dad, I hate to tell you this,
but you're going down, man.
201
00:11:36,391 --> 00:11:38,959
Carol's gonna know
you're trying to pull something.
202
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:42,310
J.T., you are wrong.
She loved the watch,
she's happy.
203
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:44,051
End of story.
204
00:11:47,315 --> 00:11:48,446
Hello?
205
00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:49,534
Hi, Carol.
206
00:12:01,372 --> 00:12:03,026
Okay, I'll tell him.
207
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,208
So, what was that?
208
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:16,431
Man. Carol just told me
the funniest story.
209
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,217
Yeah, she tried to return
the watch you bought her,
210
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:21,871
but, it was a fake.
211
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:23,873
But of course,
you already know that.
212
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:26,441
'Cause you're the one
who bought it.
213
00:12:26,528 --> 00:12:28,878
Anyway, she's in jail
and she wants you
to come get her out.
214
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,709
Boy, you guys
are gonna have
so much to talk about.
215
00:12:33,796 --> 00:12:35,929
Go! Go!
216
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,409
While you're down there,
tell her you watch Baywatch.
217
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:48,506
Good news, Trixie,
I got a roommate for you.
218
00:12:51,335 --> 00:12:53,903
Happy Valentine's Day, ladies.
219
00:12:53,990 --> 00:12:57,341
Yeah, some Valentine's Day.
220
00:12:57,428 --> 00:12:58,429
Hi.
221
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:00,910
I'm Trixie.
222
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,260
Yeah, I'm Carol.
223
00:13:03,347 --> 00:13:05,175
Pleasure.
224
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:06,742
So, what're you in for?
225
00:13:06,829 --> 00:13:08,483
I married an idiot.
226
00:13:10,746 --> 00:13:13,096
What're you in for?
227
00:13:14,445 --> 00:13:16,883
I date a lot.
228
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:22,323
Lambert, you got a visitor.
229
00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:27,284
Hi, honey.
230
00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:29,896
I got your note,
231
00:13:29,983 --> 00:13:31,201
where you told me
232
00:13:31,288 --> 00:13:32,637
how much you love me.
233
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,642
You're angry, aren't you?
234
00:13:37,729 --> 00:13:39,601
Well...
235
00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:42,778
When they handcuffed me
and booked me for a felony
236
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:45,128
I was angry.
237
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,869
But after the fingerprinting,
238
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:49,611
mugshots and the strip search,
239
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,961
I reached a whole new place
240
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,398
way beyond anger!
241
00:13:58,098 --> 00:14:00,448
Look, honey,
I know I screwed up.
242
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:03,625
Yeah, but I posted your bail,
and as soon as
the paperwork's done,
243
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:05,540
we can go home and talk.
244
00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:08,238
Well, Frank, right now I don't
wanna go any place with you.
245
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:10,937
Why not? He's hot.
246
00:14:13,156 --> 00:14:14,201
Look, Trixie...
247
00:14:15,115 --> 00:14:17,769
Sorry, private moment.
248
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,775
Look, Carol...
249
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,257
I was wrong not to tell you
about the watch.
250
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,956
But, gee, honey,
it was Valentine's Day
251
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:32,393
and I wanted to do somethin'
real special for you.
252
00:14:32,480 --> 00:14:34,830
So you bought me
a fake watch and made me feel
253
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:38,616
like a fool when I found out
it wasn't the real thing?
254
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,836
I would never want you
to feel like a fool.
255
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:45,275
I love you more than anything
in the whole world, Carol.
256
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,411
I suppose, I could have got you
257
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,935
flowers or candy
258
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,023
but for Valentine's Day
259
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:57,070
it just didn't seem like enough.
260
00:14:57,157 --> 00:14:59,115
You deserve the best things
money can buy.
261
00:15:00,377 --> 00:15:02,249
I just can't afford to buy 'em.
262
00:15:07,950 --> 00:15:11,519
Frank, I would have been
happy if all you gave me
263
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,738
for Valentine's Day was a kiss.
264
00:15:16,393 --> 00:15:18,265
Does that offer still stand?
265
00:15:20,267 --> 00:15:22,008
Absolutely.
266
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,578
Wow.
267
00:15:43,594 --> 00:15:45,205
Hi.
268
00:15:45,901 --> 00:15:47,468
Hi.
269
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,122
Dana, right?
270
00:15:49,209 --> 00:15:50,558
Right.
271
00:15:50,645 --> 00:15:52,081
It's nice to see you again.
272
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,519
Well, thanks.
It's good to see you too.
273
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:56,781
What can I get for you?
274
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,742
Well, I've been...
275
00:16:00,829 --> 00:16:04,180
secretly admiring the scones.
276
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:07,967
Secretly admiring them?
277
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:15,191
Okay. One secretly admired
scone coming up.
278
00:16:20,283 --> 00:16:24,026
Hey, Dana. Dude,
I gotta talk to you.
279
00:16:24,113 --> 00:16:26,072
Cody, no. Not now.
280
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,551
Hey, listen,
this is really important.
281
00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,075
There's something
you gotta know
282
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,554
about the guy that wrote you
those letters.
283
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,426
I know everything
I need to know.
284
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:34,515
He's tall, good looking, and
getting me a scone right now.
285
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,951
So beat it.
286
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,300
Yeah, there's something
that you just
287
00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:38,693
don't understand about
what's going--
288
00:16:38,780 --> 00:16:41,087
Here you go,
one hot buttered scone.
289
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,005
No, I don't have
any jumper cables
in my purse.
290
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:47,441
Go call AAA.
291
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:48,964
There's a pay phone,
right over there.
292
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,753
It's on the house.
293
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,365
- Thank you.
- Sure.
294
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,368
Listen, um, I'm really glad
you came in here again today.
295
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:02,847
I've seen you in here before
but I just haven't
296
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:05,328
had a chance to talk to you.
297
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:08,462
Well, talking is okay,
but sometimes,
298
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,856
writing a letter
says so much more.
299
00:17:13,597 --> 00:17:14,729
Excuse me.
300
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,167
Bear's Lair.
301
00:17:19,255 --> 00:17:20,996
Yeah, she's right here.
302
00:17:21,823 --> 00:17:22,867
It's for you.
303
00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:32,877
-Hello?
-Hey, Dana, it's me.
304
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:34,488
Hiding by the phone booth.
305
00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:42,235
Listen, I hate to do this to you
over the phone, okay?
306
00:17:42,322 --> 00:17:46,282
But listen, you are really
about to embarrass
yourself, all right?
307
00:17:46,369 --> 00:17:47,849
So, this is what you gotta do.
308
00:17:47,936 --> 00:17:50,069
You gotta pay for the scone,
get up,
309
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,072
act perfectly natural,
come outside
310
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,900
and meet me over
at the fountain by
the student union building.
311
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,641
Okay?
312
00:17:57,728 --> 00:18:00,340
I'll be wearing the same thing
I'm wearing right now.
313
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,087
Wrong number.
314
00:18:09,392 --> 00:18:11,220
Hey, dude. Ha ha!
315
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,743
Listen, man...
316
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:14,441
Are these the only Danishes
you got here?
317
00:18:14,528 --> 00:18:16,182
No, we got some
cinnamon rolls
in the back.
318
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:18,967
Killer, man,
cinnamon rolls are perfect.
319
00:18:19,054 --> 00:18:20,925
Hey, I'll take a dozen
to go, all right?
320
00:18:21,012 --> 00:18:23,189
Hey, could you wrap 'em
up for me?
321
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,364
-Individually.
-Sure.
322
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,148
-Like in foil.
-Okay.
323
00:18:26,235 --> 00:18:27,236
Okay.
324
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,934
Okay. Cool. Ha ha! All right.
325
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:33,547
-What are you doing?
-Listen, Dana...
326
00:18:33,634 --> 00:18:35,723
Dana, I gotta tell you
about those letters, man.
327
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,507
See, I kinda...
328
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,337
Wrote them.
329
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:43,644
No.
No, no, no, no, no.
330
00:18:43,731 --> 00:18:46,168
Those letters were written
by a poet.
331
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:49,519
An artist, who can express
intense emotion
332
00:18:49,606 --> 00:18:51,869
in simple turn
of a perfect phrase.
333
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:55,786
You mean like, "Your eyes
are fairer than the evening air
334
00:18:55,873 --> 00:18:58,137
"clad in the beauty
of a thousand stars?"
335
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,663
Why do you keep doing
this to me?
336
00:19:02,750 --> 00:19:06,362
-Why? Why? Why?
-Hey, Dana. Dana.
337
00:19:06,449 --> 00:19:08,103
Dana, Dana, Dana, stop.
338
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,584
Okay.
Listen, I, I...
339
00:19:14,065 --> 00:19:17,156
I just wrote you the letters,
you know, to cheer you up.
340
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:19,462
Well, great.
Congratulations.
341
00:19:19,549 --> 00:19:20,898
I feel like a total idiot.
342
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,422
But why?
343
00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,120
Every word I wrote you
in those letters is true.
344
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:28,515
I mean, hey, you are one gnarly
chunk of womanhood, you know.
345
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:34,042
You just like, put up this
wall sometimes, you know.
346
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:36,000
It says, "Keep out.
No trespassing.
347
00:19:36,087 --> 00:19:38,916
"Every trespasser will be shot,
murdered and hung."
348
00:19:39,003 --> 00:19:41,571
You know?
349
00:19:41,658 --> 00:19:43,573
So, so what?
So, what're you
trying to say?
350
00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:46,054
You're saying
that I'm defensive?
351
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:49,971
Well, yeah, man, you got a
tougher defensive line than
the '85 Chicago Bears.
352
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,842
You know?
353
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,888
Dana, you're a great
person, you just gotta
354
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,238
lighten up sometimes,
and let people see it.
355
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,459
Yeah, that's great, Cody.
356
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:02,375
Yeah, I appreciate you
saying that, but...
357
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:05,029
Valentine's Day
is still crock.
358
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:07,597
Here you go,
a dozen cinnamon rolls to go.
359
00:20:07,684 --> 00:20:09,208
Cool. Thanks, man.
360
00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:11,558
Here you go.
361
00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:13,342
-Thank you.
-Ten bucks. Okay.
362
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:15,301
- Keep the change.
- Thanks.
363
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,607
So, Ever have
one of those days?
364
00:20:19,783 --> 00:20:20,784
Okay.
365
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,961
Now listen...
366
00:20:24,048 --> 00:20:25,354
I'm gonna take a chance.
367
00:20:25,441 --> 00:20:28,401
You probably
have a boyfriend, but,
368
00:20:28,488 --> 00:20:29,750
would you like to go
to a movie sometime?
369
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:34,233
You wanna go out with me?
370
00:20:34,842 --> 00:20:36,800
Yeah.
371
00:20:36,887 --> 00:20:37,932
I mean, it's weird.
When you first started
coming in here
372
00:20:38,019 --> 00:20:39,629
you were a little
cold and aloof,
373
00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,805
but in the last week or so
you've really opened up
374
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,807
and relaxed.
375
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:49,900
Yeah, well, I have a friend
who's been helping me
with that.
376
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:55,297
Bear's Lair.
377
00:20:56,820 --> 00:20:57,865
Yeah.
378
00:20:59,475 --> 00:21:00,563
It's for you.
379
00:21:03,871 --> 00:21:05,655
Hello?
380
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:27,503
"Dear Carol, I'm not used to
saying things like this
381
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:30,985
"so I thought I'd tell you
how I feel about you
in a note."
382
00:21:31,072 --> 00:21:32,595
Frank!
383
00:21:32,682 --> 00:21:33,901
Yeah, honey, what?
384
00:21:33,988 --> 00:21:36,556
Did you write this love letter?
385
00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:38,297
Go ahead, read it.
386
00:21:38,384 --> 00:21:40,211
Frank.
387
00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,736
This is so wonderful.
388
00:21:42,823 --> 00:21:47,044
"You have a face
like a Botticelli angel.
389
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:49,786
"If Michelangelo had
had the chance
390
00:21:49,873 --> 00:21:51,875
"to paint your porcelain skin
391
00:21:51,962 --> 00:21:54,313
"and classic features,
392
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,967
"the world would have
a true masterpiece.
393
00:21:57,054 --> 00:21:59,100
"Love, Frank."
394
00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:01,972
Frank, this is just
the most romantic letter
395
00:22:02,059 --> 00:22:03,452
I've ever received.
396
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:05,715
Cody wrote it, didn't he?
397
00:22:05,802 --> 00:22:06,803
Every word.
398
00:22:07,978 --> 00:22:09,632
Thank you for being honest.
26762
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