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1
00:00:04,874 --> 00:00:06,310
Dudes, check it out.
2
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,051
I got more lights
out here than Charles'
3
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,400
got on her makeup table.
4
00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:12,708
Yeah, I am definitely
gonna win
5
00:00:12,795 --> 00:00:16,755
Best decorated vehicle
with over 700,000 miles on it.
6
00:00:16,842 --> 00:00:18,453
Cody, aren't you afraid
you're gonna blow
7
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:19,584
all the circuits in the house?
8
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:21,151
No, not a problem, little cuz.
9
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,544
Yeah.
10
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:24,328
See, I pull in the juice
straight off
11
00:00:24,415 --> 00:00:26,635
the main transformer
in the street.
12
00:00:26,722 --> 00:00:28,245
All I gotta do
is plug this in
13
00:00:28,332 --> 00:00:31,596
I got a 100,000 volts
of Christmas joy comin'
14
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,641
right into my van.
15
00:00:34,164 --> 00:00:38,386
Okay. And a three,
two and a one.
16
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:49,701
I love Christmas.
17
00:00:49,788 --> 00:00:51,964
Makes you feel warm all over.
18
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:12,088
- Hey, George.
- JT.
19
00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:15,047
Where's
my number-one pal,
the Code-man?
20
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,354
Well, he's not
gonna be able
to work with us on this one.
21
00:02:17,441 --> 00:02:18,703
Yeah.
22
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:20,314
He had a little
electrical mishap.
23
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,663
Ran too much juice
to his Christmas lights
24
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,707
blew off his eyebrows.
25
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,840
Yeah. Ha-ha.
26
00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,234
I've been there, done that.
27
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:30,324
Well, I'm gonna miss
the Code-man
28
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:33,762
but, I'm sure lookin'
forward to sellin' these trees.
29
00:02:33,849 --> 00:02:36,939
There's nothin' like
the joy of the holiday season.
30
00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,594
Yo, there, boss!
Merry Christmas.
31
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,726
Yeah.
Ho-ho-ho to you, too.
32
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,774
All right, everybody,
listen up.
33
00:02:45,861 --> 00:02:48,472
Now, look, you wanna sell
Christmas trees, the first thing
34
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:51,649
you gotta remember is to forget
all of that holiday spirit,
35
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,130
peace on Earth,
goodwill-to-men jive.
36
00:02:54,217 --> 00:02:56,872
We are here to make money.
37
00:02:56,959 --> 00:02:59,788
The more trees you sell,
the more money you make.
38
00:02:59,875 --> 00:03:01,093
I love that, sir.
39
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:04,227
Now, the good news is
40
00:03:04,314 --> 00:03:06,751
people tend to turn
into sentimental saps
41
00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,013
around Christmas time.
42
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,320
So use that.
43
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:12,670
Prey on their emotions.
44
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,933
Make the kiddies cry
if you have to.
45
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,196
Right on.
46
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,676
Just remember.
Sell, sell, sell.
47
00:03:18,763 --> 00:03:22,114
Mr. Parker, now,
what if somebody, like,
48
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,335
really, really wants a tree
49
00:03:25,422 --> 00:03:28,077
but they're kinda short
on cash.
50
00:03:28,164 --> 00:03:30,601
Is it okay to offer 'em
a Christmas discount?
51
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:31,863
No.
52
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,780
Okay.
53
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:40,045
Say, Mother Teresa shows up
54
00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:45,355
and she has absolutely
no money, whatsoever.
55
00:03:45,442 --> 00:03:50,839
But all she'd like
is a simple, tiny little tree
56
00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:55,670
as a symbol of hope
to all the orphans of the world.
57
00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:57,149
You give her a quarter
58
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,587
and tell her to call
somebody who cares.
59
00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,766
I think that guy needs a hug.
60
00:04:11,816 --> 00:04:15,559
Dad, I cannot believe you
and Carol are setting me up
61
00:04:15,646 --> 00:04:17,344
with this Matt Crawford guy.
62
00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,389
Al, this is not a setup.
63
00:04:19,476 --> 00:04:22,044
The Crawfords
are old family friends of mine
64
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,089
and they're moving back here
from California.
65
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,917
And since you and Matt
used to play a lot together
66
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,963
when you were little kids,
we thought it would be nice
67
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,704
for you to spend some time
with him.
68
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,183
Well, what if
I already have a date?
69
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:33,795
-Do you?
-No.
70
00:04:35,231 --> 00:04:37,102
But give me ten minutes,
I'll find someone.
71
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:42,107
Al? Al, look what I found.
72
00:04:42,194 --> 00:04:44,545
This is so cute.
73
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:46,590
A picture of you
and Matt Crawford
74
00:04:46,677 --> 00:04:48,375
taking a bath together
when you were little.
75
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:51,378
Aw. He's cute.
76
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:53,510
No, that's me.
77
00:04:55,164 --> 00:04:56,905
He's the bald one
eating the soap.
78
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,212
Come on, Al,
don't be so negative.
79
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,084
I think you guys are gonna
have a great time together.
80
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,739
Yeah, I met Matt when your
father and I went to California
81
00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:06,654
last summer,
he seemed like a terrific guy.
82
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:08,830
I'm sure he's peachy-keen.
83
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,397
I just don't wanna go
on a date with him.
84
00:05:10,484 --> 00:05:12,094
It's not a date.
85
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:14,226
We just want you
to drive him around town.
86
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,664
Show him the high school,
take him to the ballet.
87
00:05:20,798 --> 00:05:23,105
-The ballet?
-Yeah, The Nutcracker.
88
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:24,411
I bought tickets
this afternoon.
89
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:26,108
Front-row center.
Wear a dress.
90
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,068
-Now, that's probably them.
-Yeah.
91
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,159
-Hey, hey.
-Hello. Hi.
92
00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,031
-Buddy, come on in,
come on in.
-Good to see you.
93
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,424
Here, let me have your coats.
94
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,990
- How was your trip?
- It was fine, fine.
95
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,297
We're just glad
to be movin' back here
96
00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,560
where the air is clean
and the ground's not shaken.
97
00:05:45,301 --> 00:05:46,824
Well, where's Matt?
98
00:05:46,911 --> 00:05:50,654
I know that Al is just dying
to see him again.
99
00:05:50,741 --> 00:05:53,527
Yeah, Matt's real excited, too.
100
00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:56,834
Well, gee, Matt, look at you.
You look great.
101
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:59,010
You sure turned out to be
a handsome young man.
102
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,447
- Didn't he, Al?
- Yeah.
103
00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:01,970
-He's regular Fabio.
-Al.
104
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,190
Al, I just love that outfit.
105
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:07,149
Isn't that a great look
for her, Matt?
106
00:06:07,236 --> 00:06:11,153
-Well, yeah. Hubba-hubba.
-Matt.
107
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:14,243
Well, I see that Matt and Al
have a lot of catching up to do
108
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:15,592
so why don't we go out
to the kitchen
109
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:17,028
and have ourselves some eggnog?
110
00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:18,247
-All right.
-Ha-ha. Come on.
111
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,557
Wow, he's cute.
112
00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,950
You know, if Al doesn't
want him, I'll take him.
113
00:06:27,256 --> 00:06:28,649
Yeah, there is a shock.
114
00:06:28,736 --> 00:06:30,607
A pair of pants shows up
and your radar kicks in.
115
00:06:40,922 --> 00:06:42,445
There she is.
116
00:06:42,532 --> 00:06:46,536
The finest example
of arboreal coniferous flora
117
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:47,668
on the entire lot.
118
00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:52,586
That's Latin
for a totally bodacious tree.
119
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:57,155
I wish I could get a tree
like that for my mom.
120
00:06:57,242 --> 00:06:58,766
How much is it?
121
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:02,030
Well, it's kind of expensive,
it's 60 bucks.
122
00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:05,860
Geez, I don't have that much.
Thanks, anyways.
123
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,340
Hey! Hold on there, pal.
124
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:12,083
If you really like that tree,
maybe I can help you out.
125
00:07:12,170 --> 00:07:14,956
Sorry, but I'm not allowed
to accept charity.
126
00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:18,742
Hey! I'm not talkin'
about charity.
127
00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,483
I'm a businessman.
128
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,617
-Would you like a job?
-Really, you'd give me a job?
129
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:26,924
Hey! I'm not
givin' you a job.
130
00:07:27,011 --> 00:07:29,753
First, you have
to pass a qualifying exam.
131
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:31,755
-What's your name?
-Jimmy.
132
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,670
Good, I was looking for a Jimmy.
You got the job.
133
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:46,640
So, we having fun yet?
134
00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,685
Yeah, you make feel
like dancing.
135
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,864
Man, it's cold.
136
00:07:53,951 --> 00:07:55,431
That's because
we have something out here
137
00:07:55,518 --> 00:07:57,825
that you surfer boys
only read about.
138
00:07:57,912 --> 00:07:59,043
See, it's called winter.
139
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,525
I wasn't talking
about the weather.
140
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:04,309
I was talking
about your personality.
141
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:08,792
Sense of humor.
142
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,620
That could come in handy
with a face like yours.
143
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,064
Your turn.
144
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:24,939
Forget it, I don't wanna
trade shots with you anymore.
145
00:08:31,641 --> 00:08:33,948
Look, Matt, I'm sorry.
146
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,168
Look, I don't know why
I'm getting on your case.
147
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,040
I mean, you seem like
a nice enough guy, I just...
148
00:08:40,432 --> 00:08:42,260
I really don't like
being fixed up.
149
00:08:43,348 --> 00:08:44,915
Yeah, me neither.
150
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,570
I guess I shouldn't take it
out on you.
151
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:50,138
Look, I've got an idea. Why
don't we just split up, okay?
152
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,054
Look, you can go to
your little...ballet thingy
153
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,230
and I'll just come pick you up
when it's over.
154
00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:57,928
Do I look like the kind
of guy who goes to the ballet?
155
00:08:58,015 --> 00:09:00,191
I don't know. Last time
I saw you, you ate soap.
156
00:09:00,278 --> 00:09:01,410
How do I know what you're into?
157
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,369
What are you gonna do?
158
00:09:06,023 --> 00:09:07,242
Probably go ice-skating.
159
00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:08,983
Ice-skating?
I love ice-skating.
160
00:09:09,070 --> 00:09:10,462
I'm on the hockey team
back home.
161
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,942
You're kidding.
You like hockey?
162
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,596
-Yeah.
-Who's your favorite player?
163
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,032
Easy. Fedorov.
164
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,339
I love those
Eastern Europeans.
165
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:19,036
Gonna check you in the board
and break your head open
166
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,124
and never feel bad about it.
167
00:09:20,211 --> 00:09:22,039
I love that.
168
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,955
Okay, let's go ice-skating.
169
00:09:25,042 --> 00:09:26,653
What're we gonna do
with these tickets?
170
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,267
Excuse me, Merry Christmas.
171
00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,358
- Okay, let's go.
- Hold up.
172
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:38,273
Right, it's getting
kind of cold.
173
00:09:42,059 --> 00:09:44,061
You know,
it's not that bad.
174
00:09:56,987 --> 00:09:59,294
Wow, this one's beautiful.
175
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:01,601
Excuse me.
176
00:10:01,688 --> 00:10:04,691
But, if I were you,
I wouldn't buy that tree.
177
00:10:04,778 --> 00:10:07,041
-Why not?
-It's a flammable fur.
178
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,697
The sap is like kerosene.
179
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:15,527
You turn on a light bulb
anywhere near it and, "Boom!"
180
00:10:15,615 --> 00:10:18,313
Maybe we'll look for somethin'
a little less combustible.
181
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,055
Good choice,
most of our non-flammable trees
182
00:10:21,142 --> 00:10:22,230
are right over there.
183
00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:29,280
Now, I'm gonna show you the best
Christmas tree on the lot.
184
00:10:29,367 --> 00:10:32,196
I gotta admit I was actually
thinking of saving this tree
185
00:10:32,283 --> 00:10:34,721
for myself,
but, hey, it's Christmas.
186
00:10:34,808 --> 00:10:36,766
And I think,
you know, a tree like this
187
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,290
should be with a nice, warm,
loving family like yourselves.
188
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,814
Can we get this one, Mommy?
189
00:10:40,901 --> 00:10:42,293
You bet we can.
190
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,078
It's beautiful.
191
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,210
I can't believe
it's still here.
192
00:10:46,297 --> 00:10:48,212
There's a reason
for that, you know.
193
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,652
Wait, what... What
are you talkin' about?
194
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:56,177
Did you ever read that
Stephen King book, The Tree?
195
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,311
You know,
the one where an evil tree
196
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:03,793
sucks the life out of every
human being that comes near it?
197
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:07,623
Well, this is the guy.
198
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,581
Should I have it loaded
onto your car?
199
00:11:10,757 --> 00:11:12,628
I don't like that tree, Mommy.
200
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,631
Don't pay attention
to him, okay?
201
00:11:18,416 --> 00:11:21,898
It moved, Mommy, it moved.
I saw it, I saw it.
202
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,248
Hey, hey, what are you doing?
He's kidding.
203
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,250
It's just a stupid tree.
204
00:11:26,337 --> 00:11:27,643
Co...
205
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:29,166
George, what is going on?
206
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:30,820
This is the third time
I've sold this tree
207
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:32,996
and every time you've done
something to blow it.
208
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,955
Well, I'm kind of savin' it
for my friend
209
00:11:35,042 --> 00:11:36,217
Jimmy over there.
210
00:11:36,304 --> 00:11:37,871
He can't afford
a tree like this.
211
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,134
So, I'm lettin' him
work for it.
212
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,963
Look, George, I think
it's very sweet and Christmassy
213
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,660
that you're saving
the tree for the kid
214
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,314
but I'm savin' up
for a ski trip
215
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,272
and your taking money
out of my pocket.
216
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:51,841
JT, there's more
to life than money!
217
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:54,714
Let me tell you something.
218
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:58,326
When you work for 42 years
on an ice cream truck
219
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,545
you learn a few things.
220
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,591
Number one!
221
00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:06,247
Never put your tongue
on dry ice.
222
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,119
Number two.
223
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:11,861
There's nothin'
more beautiful in this world
224
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:15,560
than a child filled with joy.
225
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:18,955
I never turned any kids
away from my truck
226
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,001
even if they
didn't have the money.
227
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:24,178
I gave them the ice cream
anyway, just to see the joy
228
00:12:24,265 --> 00:12:27,921
on their faces when they chopped
into that Fudgsicle.
229
00:12:28,008 --> 00:12:30,227
Yeah, and how much money
did you save in 42 years?
230
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:32,752
Not a cent.
231
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:36,886
In fact, I still owe three
payments on these trousers.
232
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:41,761
But the point is, money can't
buy the memories I have
233
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:44,328
of all those kid's faces.
234
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:46,200
You wanna see
a happy kid's face?
235
00:12:46,287 --> 00:12:48,550
Watch me when I make enough
money to go on that ski trip.
236
00:12:48,637 --> 00:12:51,683
Lighten up, JT,
where's you Christmas spirit?
237
00:12:52,815 --> 00:12:54,599
You,
get away from that tree!
238
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,522
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hands off, hands off, no.
239
00:13:04,609 --> 00:13:06,089
But we're starving.
240
00:13:06,176 --> 00:13:07,830
Yeah, can't we
just have one egg?
241
00:13:07,917 --> 00:13:10,006
No, nobody eats till Carol
gets back from the bakery.
242
00:13:10,093 --> 00:13:11,312
Why don't you guys
go out there and see
243
00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:12,748
if anybody wants
something to drink?
244
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:14,402
You know, get in
the Christmas spirit.
245
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:16,360
Make yourselves useful.
Ho-ho-ho.
246
00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,232
Come on, go, go.
247
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:19,799
Come on,
let's go get the firewood.
248
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:21,801
Yeah, hey,
want a deviled egg?
249
00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:22,976
Yeah, I'm starving.
250
00:13:24,368 --> 00:13:26,806
So good.
Here, she'll never know.
251
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,509
Hey, Frank,
isn't that your car?
252
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,554
Yeah.
253
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:37,686
Al and Matt must be home.
254
00:13:37,773 --> 00:13:40,167
Why is your motor running?
255
00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:41,821
I don't know.
That's kind of weird, isn't it?
256
00:13:54,007 --> 00:13:57,271
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on out of there.
257
00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:58,576
Come on, come on.
258
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:00,100
You, too, young lady.
259
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,666
What do you think
you're doin' in there?
260
00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,451
- We weren't doing anything.
- Yeah, right.
261
00:14:03,538 --> 00:14:05,192
Well, Frank, Frank, Frank,
take it easy.
262
00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:06,933
Yeah, yeah, we were just
suckin' a little face.
263
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,676
"Sucking a little face?"
264
00:14:11,763 --> 00:14:13,591
Frank, Frank,
that's just an expression
265
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:15,071
the kids in California use.
266
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,335
Well, maybe in California
it's okay to suck face
267
00:14:18,422 --> 00:14:20,772
but here in Wisconsin,
we do not suck!
268
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,819
You know, wait a second.
269
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,865
For all you know,
Al started it.
270
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,218
-Now wait one minute.
-Dad, come on.
271
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:32,654
Now, you just
let me handle this, okay?
272
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,525
Frank, they are teenagers.
273
00:14:34,612 --> 00:14:36,397
It is what they do.
274
00:14:36,484 --> 00:14:40,053
Well, maybe that attitude
is just fine out in La La Land.
275
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:43,404
But here in Wisconsin, we raise
our kids to have good morals.
276
00:14:43,491 --> 00:14:45,754
And what is that
supposed to mean?
277
00:14:45,841 --> 00:14:47,234
It means
you're kid's a pervert.
278
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,757
Yeah?
279
00:14:48,844 --> 00:14:50,063
Yeah!
280
00:14:50,150 --> 00:14:51,586
Well, then maybe
it was a mistake
281
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:53,153
for us to come here
and visit you!
282
00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:55,416
Well, maybe the mistake
was us inviting you.
283
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,548
Well, then maybe we
shouldn't be stayin' for dinner.
284
00:14:57,635 --> 00:14:59,681
Yeah, well,
maybe that's a good idea.
285
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,813
Matt, go get your mom.
286
00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:03,641
Tell her
we're goin' back to the motel.
287
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,034
Dad?
288
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:06,818
-Stop them.
-No, I will not.
289
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,298
Fine, then I'm gonna have
dinner with them.
290
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:09,560
Al, don't do this.
291
00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,475
You're turning your back
on Wisconsin!
292
00:15:20,049 --> 00:15:21,616
-Hey, George.
-Yo!
293
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:24,053
It's almost closing time,
and my tree's still here.
294
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:26,838
Yep, in just two minutes
you'll be the proud owner
295
00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,451
of the coolest Christmas tree
this side of the North Pole.
296
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,148
Thank, George.
You're the greatest.
297
00:15:35,282 --> 00:15:37,806
Here you go,
best tree on the lot.
298
00:15:41,027 --> 00:15:42,593
Sixty bucks and it's yours.
299
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:44,030
I'll take it.
300
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,770
Hey, guys,
any chance I could get you
301
00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:47,468
to look at a different tree?
302
00:15:47,555 --> 00:15:49,035
Why?
303
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,775
Well, I kinda promised
this one to the kid
304
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:52,212
who's been helping me.
305
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:54,823
- Is he gonna pay for it?
- No, but, I will.
306
00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:56,564
Here's the 60 bucks.
307
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:58,261
I'm sorry,
I guess it's sold.
308
00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,610
I'll give you sixty-five.
309
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:02,396
-Seventy.
-Eighty.
310
00:16:02,483 --> 00:16:04,050
-Ninety.
-One hundred.
311
00:16:04,137 --> 00:16:06,269
You know, you're startin'
to tick me off.
312
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,792
Hey, hey, hey...
313
00:16:07,879 --> 00:16:09,011
Hey, guys, guys, guys.
314
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,230
I hope you're not
fighting over
315
00:16:10,317 --> 00:16:11,274
this tree,
'cause I already sold it.
316
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:13,015
-You did?
-What?
317
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,974
Yeah, yup,
here's 100 bucks.
318
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,888
Mr. Parker, why don't you go
show him that tree over there?
319
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,281
It's a lot better than this one.
320
00:16:18,368 --> 00:16:19,848
You're absolutely right,
Lambert.
321
00:16:19,935 --> 00:16:21,415
And by the way,
while we're talking
322
00:16:21,502 --> 00:16:23,286
are you happy with
your long-distance carrier?
323
00:16:25,332 --> 00:16:27,247
Man, you sold the tree.
324
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,770
How am I gonna tell Jimmy?
325
00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:32,034
Well, you don't have to.
326
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:33,514
It's for him.
327
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,255
I'm buying Jimmy the tree.
328
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,474
What?
329
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:41,000
Hey, I thought you needed
the money for the ski trip?
330
00:16:41,087 --> 00:16:44,177
Well, yeah, I thought about
what you said.
331
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:47,049
I mean, you're right.
I can go skiing anytime.
332
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:48,703
And every time Jimmy
sees this tree
333
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:50,661
his face just lights up.
334
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,360
Makes you kind of gooey inside,
doesn't it?
335
00:16:54,665 --> 00:16:56,015
Yeah, it does.
336
00:16:57,581 --> 00:17:00,454
You know, JT, it's
a good thing you're not standin'
337
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:03,109
under any mistletoe,
or I'd have to kiss ya.
338
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:06,764
Yeah, it's a good thing.
339
00:17:06,851 --> 00:17:08,984
- Well, what the heck.
- Ha-ha.
340
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,380
Hey, George, it's 6 o'clock.
341
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,773
-Do I get the tree?
-Absolutely, you earned it.
342
00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:17,862
Merry Christmas, Jimmy.
343
00:17:17,949 --> 00:17:19,429
Merry Christmas.
344
00:17:30,962 --> 00:17:33,791
Thinks he can play kissy face
with my daughter?
345
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,847
Frank, don't you just love
the holiday spirit?
346
00:17:45,934 --> 00:17:47,849
-Where are the Crawfords?
-I kicked them out.
347
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:51,722
You what?
348
00:17:51,809 --> 00:17:54,073
Yeah, their kid's a pervert
349
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,770
and I don't want him
hanging around my daughter.
350
00:17:55,857 --> 00:17:57,902
A pervert?
What are you talking about?
351
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:01,384
Carol, I caught them
kissing in the car.
352
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:05,258
And?
353
00:18:08,696 --> 00:18:10,872
Well, it was more
than just kissing.
354
00:18:11,829 --> 00:18:14,832
They were...face-sucking.
355
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,795
Let me get this straight.
356
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,971
You caught Al and Matt
making out
357
00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:26,366
so you threw your friend
and his family out of our house
358
00:18:26,453 --> 00:18:29,238
on Christmas Eve?
359
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:31,762
Well, sure, when you twist
the facts all around like that
360
00:18:31,849 --> 00:18:33,982
it sounds terrible.
361
00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:37,333
Frank, it is perfectly normal
for a 16-year-old girl
362
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,769
to be kissing a boy.
363
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:40,815
I know that, honey,
I know that.
364
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:42,904
But...when I saw
my own daughter
365
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,254
doing it,
I just went kind of crazy.
366
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,952
And then when he called it
sucking face,
367
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:49,258
it sounded so dirty.
368
00:18:50,607 --> 00:18:52,261
Well, where did
the Crawfords go?
369
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:54,437
They went down
to the E-Z Drive Motel
370
00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:57,658
to have Christmas Eve dinner,
and Al went with them.
371
00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:59,660
Boy,
I really screwed things up.
372
00:18:59,747 --> 00:19:01,575
What am I gonna do?
373
00:19:01,662 --> 00:19:03,707
Well, first, you're going down
to the motel and you are gonna
374
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:06,536
find the Crawfords,
and then you're gonna beg
375
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,364
for their forgiveness
and tell 'em you're an idiot.
376
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:09,800
Yeah, yeah,
what about Al?
377
00:19:09,887 --> 00:19:11,106
Just beg for her forgiveness.
378
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:12,325
She already knows
you're an idiot.
379
00:19:13,891 --> 00:19:15,066
Bye.
380
00:19:22,944 --> 00:19:25,903
Excuse me, miss, um,
381
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:27,992
is the turkey dinner
good here?
382
00:19:28,079 --> 00:19:30,386
It's all you can eat
for $1.99.
383
00:19:30,473 --> 00:19:31,431
What do you think?
384
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,959
Hi, guys.
385
00:19:38,046 --> 00:19:39,482
-Frank.
-Hi.
386
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:40,570
Listen, um...
387
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:47,098
I'm really sorry about
what happened back
at the house.
388
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,363
I owe everybody an apology.
389
00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,539
Well, I...
390
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:56,282
I guess you weren't alone,
buddy.
391
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:59,154
I didn't do much to help
the situation myself.
392
00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,985
Yeah, I just want you to know
something, sir.
393
00:20:04,072 --> 00:20:05,769
I really wasn't trying
to put the moves on Al.
394
00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:07,902
Yeah, Dad, I mean,
we were just talking
395
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:10,861
and then he kinda kissed me
and then I kinda kissed him back
396
00:20:10,948 --> 00:20:12,559
and we just kinda kept kissing.
397
00:20:12,646 --> 00:20:13,864
Then the windows started--
398
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,040
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
399
00:20:16,127 --> 00:20:18,260
I was there, I remember.
400
00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,654
But listen, I want you all
to come back to the house
401
00:20:20,741 --> 00:20:23,178
and have a real
Christmas dinner, okay?
402
00:20:23,265 --> 00:20:25,659
I mean, nobody should have
to spend Christmas Eve
403
00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:26,921
in a dump like this.
404
00:20:27,574 --> 00:20:29,053
Geez.
405
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,577
Save it, we'll use it
in the soup tomorrow.
406
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:06,265
Now, Lilly,
I know I promised you
407
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:07,657
I'd read you
The Night Before Christmas
408
00:21:07,744 --> 00:21:09,920
but I kinda blew the book up
in my van
409
00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:13,010
so we're gonna have to do
a little improv thing,
410
00:21:13,097 --> 00:21:14,403
if you know what I mean.
411
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:17,014
Yeah, it'll be cool though.
412
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:20,017
Okay, now, here.
413
00:21:20,104 --> 00:21:22,368
Kinda goes like this.
414
00:21:22,455 --> 00:21:26,459
It was
the night before Christmas
and all through the van...
415
00:21:26,546 --> 00:21:28,243
Not a creature was stirring,
416
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,811
not even Code-man.
417
00:21:30,898 --> 00:21:34,815
The stocking was hung,
it was nailed to the roof.
418
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:36,512
No one heard when I did it
419
00:21:36,599 --> 00:21:39,385
'cause my van is soundproof.
420
00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:41,735
I got in my water bed
and thought,
421
00:21:41,822 --> 00:21:46,217
"Hey, what would be neater
than if Santa would bring me
a water bed heater."
422
00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:50,874
I had started to doze,
when I heard such a clatter.
423
00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:54,617
I bolted straight up,
smashed my head on a ladder.
424
00:21:56,663 --> 00:22:00,884
I looked out the window,
I said, "Code-man, no way."
425
00:22:00,971 --> 00:22:05,019
It was a tiny reindeer, pulling
this fat dude on a sleigh.
426
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:09,110
He had one final message
before he flew out of sight.
427
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:13,332
"Have a Merry Christmas, dudes.
And to all, a good night."
29697
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