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1
00:00:03,749 --> 00:00:07,492
[rock music]
2
00:00:07,579 --> 00:00:10,582
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:12,323 --> 00:00:14,760
This is gonna be cool.
4
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:18,329
[chuckling]
We're gonna egg a house.
5
00:00:18,416 --> 00:00:19,940
[chuckling]
- Yeah, it's gonna be cool.
6
00:00:20,027 --> 00:00:21,550
Yeah.
[chuckling]
7
00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:24,248
But, um, like,
which house should we egg?
8
00:00:24,335 --> 00:00:25,859
[indistinct yelling]
9
00:00:25,946 --> 00:00:28,687
Uh, not this one.
10
00:00:28,774 --> 00:00:31,995
Whoever lives here is cool.
[chuckling]
11
00:00:32,082 --> 00:00:34,084
[dog barking]
12
00:00:34,171 --> 00:00:37,218
Yeah, not this one either.
These guys kick ass.
13
00:00:37,305 --> 00:00:38,959
[chuckling]
- They sure do, Beavis.
14
00:00:39,046 --> 00:00:40,047
[chuckling]
15
00:00:42,484 --> 00:00:45,791
Whoa, now,
whoever lives here sucks.
16
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,751
Beavis, I think
we have a winner.
17
00:00:48,838 --> 00:00:51,623
Yeah, yeah,
let's egg it, yeah.
18
00:00:51,710 --> 00:00:54,148
Okay, Beavis,
when I count to three,
19
00:00:54,235 --> 00:00:56,628
let's throw these eggs.
20
00:00:56,715 --> 00:00:58,630
Uh, go.
21
00:00:58,717 --> 00:00:59,718
[both grunting]
22
00:00:59,805 --> 00:01:02,069
[both chuckling]
23
00:01:02,156 --> 00:01:03,984
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
24
00:01:06,116 --> 00:01:07,639
- [grunts]
- [chuckling]
25
00:01:07,726 --> 00:01:08,858
Damn it.
26
00:01:11,208 --> 00:01:12,775
Ugh, damn it!
[chuckling]
27
00:01:14,995 --> 00:01:16,387
Ah!
28
00:01:16,474 --> 00:01:17,693
Beavis, you dumbass.
29
00:01:17,780 --> 00:01:19,564
You got in the way
of my perfect throw.
30
00:01:19,651 --> 00:01:22,306
[chuckling]
- [grunts]
31
00:01:22,393 --> 00:01:24,265
I'll show you
how it's done, Beavis.
32
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:26,397
Check this out.
[chuckling]
33
00:01:26,484 --> 00:01:27,398
[grunts]
34
00:01:28,747 --> 00:01:30,575
Ah!
35
00:01:30,662 --> 00:01:32,621
Damn it.
Throwing sucks.
36
00:01:32,708 --> 00:01:33,665
[chuckling]
37
00:01:35,319 --> 00:01:39,410
[humming melody]
38
00:01:39,497 --> 00:01:42,196
♪ I'm in my prime, optimist ♪
39
00:01:42,283 --> 00:01:43,849
Butt-Head: Uh, I think
40
00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:45,503
she's supposed to be,
like, Pinocchio,
41
00:01:45,590 --> 00:01:48,158
but when she lies,
her butt grows bigger.
42
00:01:48,245 --> 00:01:49,638
[chuckling]
43
00:01:49,725 --> 00:01:51,379
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
44
00:01:51,466 --> 00:01:53,947
She been doing a whole lot
of lying.
45
00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:56,514
You know what I'm saying?
[chuckling]
46
00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:57,776
♪ ♪
47
00:01:57,863 --> 00:01:59,604
I wish, when I lied,
48
00:01:59,691 --> 00:02:01,563
my schlong would grow bigger
'cause then I'd be like,
49
00:02:01,650 --> 00:02:03,478
"Hey, baby."
[chuckling]
50
00:02:03,565 --> 00:02:06,220
"I have a gigantic schlong."
[chuckling]
51
00:02:06,307 --> 00:02:09,484
And I'd be lying, but then
my schlong would get bigger
52
00:02:09,571 --> 00:02:11,529
because I'm lying, see?
53
00:02:11,616 --> 00:02:13,140
And then it would be true, though,
54
00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,533
so, um, I don't know
if it shrinks again or--
55
00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,318
I don't know how that works,
you know?
56
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,276
I don't know what
the Pinocchio rules are.
57
00:02:19,363 --> 00:02:21,626
You know?
[chuckling]
58
00:02:21,713 --> 00:02:23,715
Yeah, maybe it would just,
like, start growing
59
00:02:23,802 --> 00:02:25,413
and shrinking back and forth,
you know, like,
60
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,763
'cause, um, 'cause it grows,
and then I'm not lying,
61
00:02:27,850 --> 00:02:29,286
and then it shrinks
since I'm lying,
62
00:02:29,373 --> 00:02:30,853
and then, you know,
it just goes back and forth.
63
00:02:30,940 --> 00:02:33,464
It's kind of going "boing,
oing, boing, boing, boing."
64
00:02:33,551 --> 00:02:34,900
[chuckling]
65
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,641
And then I wouldn't even
need the chick, you know?
66
00:02:36,728 --> 00:02:38,730
I could just have my schlong
do all the work, you know?
67
00:02:38,817 --> 00:02:40,297
[chuckling]
68
00:02:40,384 --> 00:02:41,603
And I wouldn't need
my hands either.
69
00:02:41,690 --> 00:02:43,518
[chuckling]
70
00:02:43,605 --> 00:02:46,521
Can go eat lunch or something.
You know, go about my business.
71
00:02:46,608 --> 00:02:48,001
You know?
[chuckling]
72
00:02:48,088 --> 00:02:49,437
Maybe take up a new hobby,
you know,
73
00:02:49,524 --> 00:02:51,961
like, um, like, um...
74
00:02:52,048 --> 00:02:53,441
uh, like spanking my--
oh, no, never mind.
75
00:02:53,528 --> 00:02:55,008
[chuckling]
76
00:02:55,095 --> 00:02:56,487
That was
quite a ride, Beavis.
77
00:02:56,574 --> 00:02:58,011
[chuckling]
78
00:02:58,098 --> 00:02:59,838
I guess what I'm saying,
though, is, like, um,
79
00:02:59,925 --> 00:03:02,841
is I wish I could lie a lot
and have a big schlong.
80
00:03:02,928 --> 00:03:04,582
That's all.
[chuckling]
81
00:03:04,669 --> 00:03:08,325
That would rule.
[chuckling]
82
00:03:08,412 --> 00:03:10,849
Uh, you know,
they really should
83
00:03:10,936 --> 00:03:13,504
make a "Schlongnocchio" movie.
[chuckling]
84
00:03:13,591 --> 00:03:15,158
'Cause then, like,
Jimmy Cricket
85
00:03:15,245 --> 00:03:17,769
can get it on with Tinkerbell,
and then Peter Pan
86
00:03:17,856 --> 00:03:19,554
can grant him a real schlong,
87
00:03:19,641 --> 00:03:21,469
and they can all ride off
on Dumbo.
88
00:03:21,556 --> 00:03:23,166
[chuckling]
89
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,734
Beavis: [chuckling]
90
00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:27,605
Butt-Head: And then
that cricket can be like,
91
00:03:27,692 --> 00:03:31,653
"Uh, hey, Tinkerbell,
wanna see my seventh leg?"
92
00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:33,698
[chuckling]
93
00:03:33,785 --> 00:03:35,135
[chuckling]
Yeah.
94
00:03:35,222 --> 00:03:37,702
"Hey, Tinkerbell, hey,
how'd you like to see
95
00:03:37,789 --> 00:03:40,183
something that always grows up?
You know what I'm saying?"
96
00:03:40,270 --> 00:03:42,707
[chuckling]
97
00:03:42,794 --> 00:03:44,492
♪ If that bitch gets slick,
I'll cut the bitch ♪
98
00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:48,061
Uh, okay, Beavis,
I have an idea for a game.
99
00:03:48,148 --> 00:03:49,627
[chuckling]
100
00:03:49,714 --> 00:03:52,804
Every time she says, "bitch,"
I get to smack you.
101
00:03:52,891 --> 00:03:54,415
[chuckling]
- No way!
102
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,895
Why would I do that?
[chuckling]
103
00:03:56,982 --> 00:03:59,333
Butt-Head:
Uh, okay, how about this?
104
00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:01,944
Every time she says "butt,"
you can smack me.
105
00:04:02,031 --> 00:04:04,251
Uh, okay, yeah, I mean,
106
00:04:04,338 --> 00:04:06,166
she is the queen of butts.
[chuckling]
107
00:04:06,253 --> 00:04:07,341
Your funeral.
[chuckling]
108
00:04:07,428 --> 00:04:11,736
Now let the games begin.
[chuckling]
109
00:04:11,823 --> 00:04:12,998
♪ I'll cut up the bitch ♪
110
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,652
♪ I'll gut the bitch ♪
111
00:04:14,739 --> 00:04:15,914
♪ Had to fuck up the bitch ♪
- Ah! Wait, I--
112
00:04:16,001 --> 00:04:17,351
Ah! Okay, okay.
- ♪ Fuck the bitch ♪
113
00:04:17,438 --> 00:04:18,743
I can't hear
when you're smacking me!
114
00:04:18,830 --> 00:04:20,136
Ah!
Wait, I think--
115
00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:21,137
- [grunts]
- Hold on!
116
00:04:21,224 --> 00:04:22,834
Why did I--
ah, ah, ow!
117
00:04:22,921 --> 00:04:24,967
I can--ah!
Hey!
118
00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:26,708
- ♪ Cut up the bitch ♪
- [screams]
119
00:04:26,795 --> 00:04:27,752
♪ Get the combination
to the safe ♪
120
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,537
♪ And drug the bitch ♪
- I win.
121
00:04:29,624 --> 00:04:32,670
[chuckling]
- Ah, ah!
122
00:04:32,757 --> 00:04:34,368
Damn it.
[chuckling]
123
00:04:34,455 --> 00:04:36,152
I did not think she
would say "bitch" so much
124
00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:37,806
when I agree--
ah!
125
00:04:37,893 --> 00:04:40,330
Wait, Butt-Head, you can't
smack me when I say it!
126
00:04:40,417 --> 00:04:42,767
Son of a bitch.
Oh, wait, don't--ah!
127
00:04:42,854 --> 00:04:44,029
[chuckling]
128
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,335
Damn it, this game sucks.
129
00:04:48,295 --> 00:04:51,689
Uh, damn it,
we're out of eggs.
130
00:04:51,776 --> 00:04:53,126
Where are we gonna get
more eggs
131
00:04:53,213 --> 00:04:55,563
to throw at this dumbass house?
[chuckling]
132
00:04:55,650 --> 00:04:57,391
Uh...
133
00:04:57,478 --> 00:04:59,175
[doorbell rings]
134
00:05:00,785 --> 00:05:01,873
Well, hello.
135
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,572
Uh, hello.
136
00:05:04,659 --> 00:05:06,400
We, like, need some eggs.
137
00:05:06,487 --> 00:05:08,619
Yeah, a lot of 'em.
Please, yeah.
138
00:05:08,706 --> 00:05:10,795
Eggs?
Of course.
139
00:05:10,882 --> 00:05:13,015
Happy to help.
- [chuckles]
140
00:05:13,102 --> 00:05:14,886
Reminds me of the old days
when a neighbor
141
00:05:14,973 --> 00:05:16,584
would ask for a cup of sugar.
142
00:05:16,671 --> 00:05:19,848
Um, okay.
Give us a cup of sugar too.
143
00:05:19,935 --> 00:05:20,805
- Yeah.
- [chuckling]
144
00:05:20,892 --> 00:05:22,851
Sure, no problem.
145
00:05:22,938 --> 00:05:24,679
So what grade
are you boys in?
146
00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:28,030
Uh, we don't know.
[chuckling]
147
00:05:28,117 --> 00:05:30,206
I know what you mean.
148
00:05:30,293 --> 00:05:32,426
It all goes by so fast,
doesn't it?
149
00:05:32,513 --> 00:05:35,168
Uh, no?
150
00:05:35,255 --> 00:05:37,344
Nope.
[chuckling]
151
00:05:37,431 --> 00:05:40,564
There you go, boys. Enjoy.
152
00:05:40,651 --> 00:05:43,132
Bye, boys.
You come back anytime now.
153
00:05:43,219 --> 00:05:45,003
Nah.
[chuckling]
154
00:05:48,268 --> 00:05:50,008
- Oh, yeah.
- [chuckling]
155
00:05:50,095 --> 00:05:53,795
That sugar really hit the spot.
- Yeah, yeah, sure did, yeah.
156
00:05:53,882 --> 00:05:56,014
You know, they should put this
in food and stuff.
157
00:05:56,101 --> 00:05:57,320
Yeah.
- Yeah, I wish.
158
00:05:57,407 --> 00:05:58,887
[chuckling]
159
00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:00,758
Now let's go egg
those buttholes.
160
00:06:00,845 --> 00:06:02,020
Yeah!
[chuckling]
161
00:06:03,674 --> 00:06:05,502
Okay, let's kick 'em
this time.
162
00:06:05,589 --> 00:06:07,896
Yeah, yeah, throwing sucks.
[chuckling]
163
00:06:07,983 --> 00:06:10,812
[both grunting]
164
00:06:14,032 --> 00:06:15,512
Damn eggs.
Ugh!
165
00:06:15,599 --> 00:06:17,688
Ah!
166
00:06:17,775 --> 00:06:20,996
Uh, did we get any eggs
on the house?
167
00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:23,259
I think so. Um...
168
00:06:23,346 --> 00:06:26,306
eh, no, I don't think so.
[chuckling]
169
00:06:26,393 --> 00:06:28,221
Damn it.
[chuckling]
170
00:06:28,308 --> 00:06:30,223
All right, Beavis,
I have another idea.
171
00:06:30,310 --> 00:06:32,790
Now follow me.
[chuckling]
172
00:06:32,877 --> 00:06:34,923
Um, what is it?
173
00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:37,447
Uh, I don't know.
174
00:06:39,841 --> 00:06:42,409
Okay, Beavis, we're gonna
toilet paper their house.
175
00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:43,975
Yeah, yeah,
because they suck.
176
00:06:44,062 --> 00:06:46,500
[chuckling]
177
00:06:46,587 --> 00:06:50,286
This'll teach them a lesson.
Okay, here we go, Beavis.
178
00:06:50,373 --> 00:06:52,157
[chuckling]
[grunts]
179
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,729
Yes!
180
00:06:58,816 --> 00:07:01,123
They're gonna be so pissed off. Yeah.
181
00:07:01,210 --> 00:07:03,256
No, they're not, dumbass.
182
00:07:03,343 --> 00:07:05,519
The toilet paper
went down the sewer.
183
00:07:05,606 --> 00:07:08,522
Oh, yeah, yeah,
so it did, yeah.
184
00:07:08,609 --> 00:07:09,653
Damn it.
185
00:07:09,740 --> 00:07:11,612
Now we gotta get
more toilet paper.
186
00:07:11,699 --> 00:07:13,048
Where?
187
00:07:13,135 --> 00:07:15,529
[doorbell rings]
188
00:07:15,616 --> 00:07:17,313
Hello.
189
00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,881
Uh, we need toilet paper.
190
00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:21,578
[both chuckling]
191
00:07:21,665 --> 00:07:23,798
Sure, boys, always happy
to help a neighbor.
192
00:07:23,885 --> 00:07:27,367
Um, and we need a lot
because I poop too much.
193
00:07:27,454 --> 00:07:29,804
He sure does.
[chuckling]
194
00:07:29,891 --> 00:07:32,459
You know, all that talk
of eggs and sugar last time
195
00:07:32,546 --> 00:07:35,940
put me in the mood for baking,
and I made some cookies.
196
00:07:36,027 --> 00:07:37,420
Whoa.
197
00:07:39,944 --> 00:07:42,207
Well, they sure appreciate
your baking, honey.
198
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,384
Put more sugar in next time.
199
00:07:44,471 --> 00:07:46,081
Yeah, yeah, have you heard
of that stuff?
200
00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:48,475
Really good, yeah.
201
00:07:48,562 --> 00:07:49,998
- Toilet paper.
- Yes!
202
00:07:50,085 --> 00:07:51,478
Yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
203
00:07:51,565 --> 00:07:53,088
It's about time.
[chuckling]
204
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:55,308
Such good boys.
205
00:07:56,918 --> 00:07:59,486
[both chuckling]
206
00:08:04,795 --> 00:08:08,146
We did it, Butt-Head!
We did it, yeah!
207
00:08:08,233 --> 00:08:10,758
Let me guess.
You guys did that?
208
00:08:10,845 --> 00:08:13,630
- Yeah, we sure did.
- Yeah, it's toilet paper.
209
00:08:13,717 --> 00:08:14,936
[chuckling]
210
00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,068
Real smart to TP a house
211
00:08:17,155 --> 00:08:19,375
when there's a nationwide
toilet paper shortage going on.
212
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,858
Um, what?
[chuckling]
213
00:08:23,945 --> 00:08:25,860
There's no toilet paper
in the stores right now
214
00:08:25,947 --> 00:08:28,558
because of the supply chain, genius.
215
00:08:28,645 --> 00:08:30,343
It's called following the news?
216
00:08:35,565 --> 00:08:37,872
Eh, this sucks.
[chuckling]
217
00:08:37,959 --> 00:08:40,614
Wait a minute, Beavis,
I just thought of something.
218
00:08:40,701 --> 00:08:42,529
If we get
our toilet paper back,
219
00:08:42,616 --> 00:08:44,705
we can sell it
and, like, be rich.
220
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:46,359
Whoa!
221
00:08:46,446 --> 00:08:49,536
- Damn it.
- [grunting]
222
00:08:51,059 --> 00:08:52,626
[doorbell rings]
223
00:08:54,671 --> 00:08:58,109
Uh, we got toilet paper.
224
00:08:58,196 --> 00:09:00,808
Yeah, yeah, check it out.
Yeah, it's good stuff.
225
00:09:00,895 --> 00:09:02,418
[chuckling]
226
00:09:02,505 --> 00:09:03,724
You can use it on your butt,
you know,
227
00:09:03,811 --> 00:09:05,813
or blow your nose or something.
228
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,728
Wow.
229
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:10,295
For you boys to clean up
after some bad kids
230
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:14,430
threw toilet paper on our home,
it's wonderful.
231
00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:16,650
Thank you.
- Yes.
232
00:09:16,737 --> 00:09:18,173
This is the nicest thing
anyone's done for us
233
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,087
in a long while.
234
00:09:19,174 --> 00:09:21,916
Uh, what?
235
00:09:22,003 --> 00:09:24,745
Diane and I were never able
to have children
236
00:09:24,832 --> 00:09:29,053
of our own, but if we had,
we'd sure like to think
237
00:09:29,140 --> 00:09:30,577
they'd be something like you.
238
00:09:32,143 --> 00:09:34,102
Do you want the toilet paper
or not?
239
00:09:34,189 --> 00:09:36,757
Yeah, it's, like,
brand-new or something.
240
00:09:36,844 --> 00:09:39,412
Yeah, nobody wiped
their butt on it,
241
00:09:39,499 --> 00:09:41,544
not even once.
[chuckling]
242
00:09:41,631 --> 00:09:43,590
We'll throw this out for you.
243
00:09:43,677 --> 00:09:46,680
Thank you.
Thanks again.
244
00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:49,683
- Ugh, damn it.
- That sucks.
245
00:09:49,770 --> 00:09:51,206
They just stole
our toilet paper.
246
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:53,034
[chuckling]
247
00:09:53,121 --> 00:09:55,471
Well, I did wipe my butt
on some of it, you know,
248
00:09:55,558 --> 00:09:57,299
if I'm gonna be honest.
[chuckling]
249
00:09:57,386 --> 00:09:59,954
We should, like,
smear shaving cream everywhere
250
00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:02,304
to prank those buttholes.
- Yeah, good idea.
251
00:10:02,391 --> 00:10:04,828
Yeah.
[chuckling]
252
00:10:04,915 --> 00:10:07,831
Um, where do we get
shaving cream though?
253
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:10,225
Uh, I know.
254
00:10:10,312 --> 00:10:11,531
[chuckling]
255
00:10:11,618 --> 00:10:13,968
Oh, yeah, yeah.
[chuckling]
256
00:10:14,055 --> 00:10:15,143
[both chuckling]
257
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:16,361
[doorbell rings]
- This is gonna be cool.
258
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,276
[both chuckling]
259
00:10:21,149 --> 00:10:24,021
[rock music]
260
00:10:24,108 --> 00:10:30,680
♪ ♪
261
00:10:47,828 --> 00:10:48,481
Chirp.
18256
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