Original subtitles

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

You know, there's nothing better

than going hunting out here in God's country.

Course, my old peepers ain't what they used to be,

which is why I'm glad you two boys

could come along to be my spotters.

[laughs] We're gonna shoot a gun.

Yeah, yeah. Tchk-tchk. Bang!

[imitates gunshots]

Uh, you'll have to speak up now.

My yodel-catchers ain't what they used to be neither.

You're old.

Whoa. - Whoa.

Now, I'm used to hunting alone, mind you.

My son used to always want to come along with me,

but I like to hunt by myself.

Yeah, yeah, I like to do stuff by myself too.

[snickers] You know what I'm saying?

Uh, but you two are responsible young men,

not like those other two kids around the neighborhood,

Beaufort and Bernardo.

[Spanish accent] Bernardo.

Yes, sir.

We're, like, very responsible.

Can we, like, blow stuff away now?

[accented] Yeah, yeah, I will blow away Bernardo.

Bang! - [snickering]

Oh, no, no, no.

No one's allowed to touch this gun,

except yours truly, of course.

But y'all can carry the tent and the beer cooler.

Huh? [grunts]

What? [grunts]

Well, let's get 'er done,

like the funny man says.

[laughs]

Butt-Head, I wanted to shoot the gun.

The outdoors sucks.

* I make breakfast for all my pretty foes ♪

♪ And my boyfriend look like DiCaprio ♪

♪ I could strike a pose for your poster, bro ♪

Why is she so bored? [laughs]

Yeah, really.

What's her problem?

It was her idea to make the video.

Yeah, really.

Yeah, no one's forced her to do this.

Well, at least Jack Harlow's not in it.

[laughs]

What? Again?

You gotta be kidding me.

[laughs]

* 'Cause I lie a lot ♪

Boy, he's only been rapping for, like, five seconds,

and he's already exhausted.

[snickers]

Yeah, he's like, "Ugh, I suck.

Why am I pretending to tattoo? No one's gonna believe this."

* In the back of a jeep ♪

Yeah. [laughs]

If Jack Harlow was tattooing me,

I'd have him tattoo "Jack Harlow sucks."

[laughs]

Yeah, and he'd probably be too bored to notice.

Yeah. [laughs]

"Yeah, yeah, where do you want it?

Your arm? Your forehead? I don't care."

Yeah. [laughs]

Then I'd be like,

"No, I want it on your forehead."

[laughs]

Yeah, he'd be like, "Okay.

I mean, I do suck. Ugh."

* I got the hot pot running I'm a little unsteady ♪

Boy. [laughs]

She really doesn't like her song here.

"Why can't I be in a video of something good?

[both laugh]

Yeah, she's like, "Ugh, this song gives me a headache,

and so does my voice. Ugh."

[laughs]

They think if they, like, hate themselves first,

it'll make us not wanna hate them,

but I hate them.

[laughs]

Yeah.

We're way ahead of you, Audrey Nuna.

Yeah.

You gotta get up pretty early in the morning

to hate yourself more than I do.

You know, this here is the most exciting part

of hunting, I tell you what:

just sitting out here in nature.

Uh, this sucks.

- You know, 90%... - I wanna shoot the gun.

Yeah. This sucks.

Whoa, Beavis, check it out.

[laughs]

At least we can drink this beer,

and maybe this place won't be so boring.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

Ugh. Ugh. [coughs]

[gagging]

Oh, now, that there is my magic weapon.

The deer get a whiff of that,

and they come running right quick.

Whoa. Deers like beer?

That's weird.

We'd better hurry up and chug it

before the dumb deers get here and drink it all.

Yeah, seriously.

Eh, my son used to beg me to take him out here.

Almost did, once.

He'd start getting in fights at school.

Marcie said he was just doing it to get my attention.

But you see, my own father--

he was a hard man.

Once, when I was a boy, I...

I've never told anyone this before, but, well...

[both snickering]

[imitates gunshots]

We have a gun.

Bum-di-di-dam. So what should we shoot?

Uh, how about everything we see?

Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, good idea. Yeah.

Okay, let's see.

Where to start?

Like, ready, aim, something, and, uh--

agh! [gunshot echoing]

Uh...

What was that noise?

Well, anyway, I got home, and Daddy said,

"No boy of mine is gonna be in the school musical."

Damn it, Beavis, you screwed up my turn.

I get to shoot it again.

Yeah, damn it. That sucks.

[gun clicking]

Damn it, the bullet's gone.

You dumbass.

Now I've gotta go find it and put it back in the gun.

Can't send a boy to do a man's job.

And by then, my boy had gone without a daddy so long,

well, he--he learned to go without one at all.

Yeah, we need another bullet for this

so we can shoot everything.

What now?

Hell, you're right.

It may be too late to go hunting with my son,

but it's not too late to start something new with you boys.

Let's go land us a buck.

Now, you just let me know when you see a deer, son.

Whoa, whoa, it's Butt-Head.

Yeah. [laughs]

Buck head?

You see a buck's head?

That bullet better be around here somewhere,

or I'm gonna kick Beavis' ass.

Oh, oh, I see him.

I see him right there in that brush.

Real scrawny fella.

[tense music]

Uh...

[buck groaning]

Whoa.

You can see his wiener. [gunshot]

They got tired of scoring.

Oh, cool.

I found the bullet. [gunshot]

Guns are cool.

Uh, I got the bullet

and then, like, some other bullet.

Well, boys, we didn't land a buck,

but I think maybe we landed something more important today.

You know I'm not the touchy-feely sort,

but... well...

Ugh, you boys smell something fierce.

And whatever it is, it's gotten all over me.

Is that deer urine--oh!

Oh, Lord, no! [buck moaning]

Whoa, Mr. Anderson is, like, scoring with a deer.

- Oh, somebody! - Whoa, yeah, deers are cool.

Yeah. - Good Lord almighty!

Tap that ass.

Yeah.

Let's shoot Mr. Anderson's truck.

[rock music]

[imitates gunshots]

[bluesy rock music]

♪ ♪

[chiming noises]

Chirp.