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♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:11,750
[both chuckling]
3
00:00:11,837 --> 00:00:14,753
[rock music]
4
00:00:14,840 --> 00:00:21,717
♪ ♪
5
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:31,988
Welcome, fellow human beings,
to my meditation class, mm-kay,
6
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:34,295
whether you're
a meditation expert
7
00:00:34,382 --> 00:00:36,297
or just here
as a school-mandated
8
00:00:36,384 --> 00:00:38,212
alternative to detention.
9
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:39,778
This sucks.
10
00:00:39,865 --> 00:00:40,953
Yeah, really.
11
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,694
Can we just go to detention?
12
00:00:42,781 --> 00:00:47,960
Now, everyone, concentrate
on your mantra, mm-kay?
13
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:49,745
Om.
14
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:51,442
students: Om.
15
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:53,227
Uh.
16
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:56,230
Um.
17
00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:59,363
Very good, Beavis
and Butt-Head, very good.
18
00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:04,499
Now, try to empty your minds
of all thought.
19
00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:06,936
- Uh.
- Uh, what?
20
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:10,940
It sounds easy, but some say
only the Buddha himself
21
00:01:11,027 --> 00:01:13,508
was able to completely
empty his mind
22
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:15,379
and achieve enlightenment.
23
00:01:15,466 --> 00:01:18,382
Now, let's begin
while I set the mood
24
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,558
with these Tibetan
singing bowls I bought
25
00:01:20,645 --> 00:01:22,865
at Cost Plus World Market.
26
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:26,608
[bowl ringing]
27
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:30,481
Okay, clear your mind.
28
00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:32,788
Clear your mind.
29
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,920
Don't think.
30
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,140
Wait, where did I park?
31
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,101
Uh.
32
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,236
Huh. Hmm.
33
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:50,284
Adam just doesn't get me.
34
00:01:51,415 --> 00:01:53,156
No thoughts.
35
00:01:53,243 --> 00:01:55,027
Wait, that is a thought.
36
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:57,943
[ringing continues]
37
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:05,473
[ethereal music]
38
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,170
Huh?
39
00:02:09,781 --> 00:02:12,610
Uh, whoa.
40
00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:15,309
I think we, like,
left our bodies or something.
41
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:17,049
Oh. Cool.
42
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,834
My body sucked.
43
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,966
Yeah, mine too.
44
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:23,186
It never scored.
[chuckles]
45
00:02:24,666 --> 00:02:27,973
Um, where are we going?
[chuckles]
46
00:02:28,060 --> 00:02:30,802
Uh, I don't care.
47
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:35,024
Lil Nas X, I sentence you
to five years
48
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,460
in Montero State Prison.
49
00:02:36,547 --> 00:02:37,766
[gavel bangs]
50
00:02:37,853 --> 00:02:39,463
[dramatic music]
51
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,770
Daytrip took it
to ten.
52
00:02:41,857 --> 00:02:43,598
♪ Baby back, ay ♪
53
00:02:43,685 --> 00:02:45,252
♪ Couple racks, ay ♪
[Beavis] Whoa.
54
00:02:45,339 --> 00:02:47,167
You think he smuggled
those Grammys in
55
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,343
inside his butt?
[snickers]
56
00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:51,083
Uh, yeah.
57
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:54,086
That's why he's
cleaning 'em off.
58
00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:57,351
Everything in prison comes in
through your butt.
59
00:02:57,438 --> 00:02:59,353
See that guy right there?
60
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,181
He's about to pull
a Little League trophy
61
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,835
out of his butt.
[chuckles]
62
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,576
Oh, yeah, yeah.
63
00:03:05,663 --> 00:03:08,710
Yeah, nowadays everyone
gets a trophy, you know?
64
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:09,841
[snickers]
65
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:12,017
Yeah.
66
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:13,802
Good for your self-esteem.
67
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,021
Bad for your butt.
[chuckles]
68
00:03:16,108 --> 00:03:19,111
[both laugh]
69
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,070
♪ I told you
long ago ♪
70
00:03:21,157 --> 00:03:25,205
[Beavis] Whoa, do those guys
have schlongs?
71
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:27,685
Uh, I think so.
72
00:03:27,772 --> 00:03:30,079
They're just using,
like, special effects
73
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:31,733
to "pixtelate" them out.
74
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,561
[chuckles]
75
00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,997
Oh, that was nice
of them, yeah.
76
00:03:35,084 --> 00:03:36,868
[chuckles]
77
00:03:36,955 --> 00:03:38,914
Whoa.
78
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:40,132
Boy, I wouldn't want to be,
like, grinding around
79
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,917
on the floor like that,
you know, 'cause...
80
00:03:42,004 --> 00:03:43,310
you know how people
always pee and poop
81
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:45,790
in the shower, you know?
82
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:49,490
Uh... no.
83
00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,796
I mean, like,
I pee in the shower,
84
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,102
but I don't poop.
85
00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:55,757
What, you don't?
86
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:56,497
Yeah, you know what I'm
talking about, Butt-Head.
87
00:03:56,584 --> 00:03:58,238
Everyone does it, you know?
88
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,587
Just like,
you poop in the shower,
89
00:03:59,674 --> 00:04:01,197
and then you mash it down
with your foot
90
00:04:01,284 --> 00:04:02,677
into that drain thing,
91
00:04:02,764 --> 00:04:04,069
and then you go
wash your foot off
92
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:06,246
in the toilet, you know.
93
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:10,075
Uh, no, I don't know, Beavis.
94
00:04:10,162 --> 00:04:12,600
Boy, you're weird, Butt-Head.
95
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,036
I think everybody does that.
I don't know.
96
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:15,951
I mean, that's what I do.
97
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,692
[chuckles]
98
00:04:17,779 --> 00:04:22,436
Uh, Beavis, I'm gonna pretend
I didn't hear any of this.
99
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:25,743
Now, let's go back to watching
these naked dudes dance.
100
00:04:25,830 --> 00:04:28,442
[laughs]
101
00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:31,706
Is he, like,
working at T-Mobile now?
102
00:04:31,793 --> 00:04:34,317
Uh, I think you have
to work at T-Mobile
103
00:04:34,404 --> 00:04:36,537
when you're in prison.
104
00:04:36,624 --> 00:04:38,669
Oh.
Oh, that sucks.
105
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:39,670
I thought you
just get to, like,
106
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,411
sit around and watch TV
all the time.
107
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,892
You have to work at T-Mobile?
108
00:04:43,979 --> 00:04:46,808
That's, like, inhumane
or something.
109
00:04:46,895 --> 00:04:47,896
[chuckles]
110
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:49,724
♪ ♪
111
00:04:49,811 --> 00:04:52,596
This video is, like,
really groundbreaking
112
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:54,990
'cause, like,
Jack Harlow's not in it.
113
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:55,947
[laughs]
114
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,384
Uh.
115
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:59,342
Oh, never mind.
116
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:00,996
Oh, yeah, yeah.
117
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,127
There he is.
118
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,260
[groans]
119
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,349
Someone should do something
about Jack Harlow
120
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:08,786
being in every video.
121
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,311
Uh. Oh.
122
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:13,487
I guess they did.
[laughs]
123
00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:15,315
Yeah, yeah.
124
00:05:15,402 --> 00:05:18,579
[both chuckling]
125
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:23,453
[ethereal music]
126
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:27,283
♪ ♪
127
00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,025
Uh, where are we?
128
00:05:30,112 --> 00:05:33,420
I think it's, like,
Arizona or something.
129
00:05:33,507 --> 00:05:35,422
Greetings, travelers.
130
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,206
And welcome to enlightenment.
131
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:39,469
I am the Buddha.
132
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:42,951
Uh, okay.
133
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:45,127
Let me introduce you
to the others who are here.
134
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,346
Ganesh.
135
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:48,826
So few humans make it here.
136
00:05:48,913 --> 00:05:50,132
Welcome.
137
00:05:50,219 --> 00:05:51,307
Jesus.
138
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,917
Bless you, my children.
139
00:05:53,004 --> 00:05:53,918
Zeus.
140
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,529
Kudos.
141
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,357
And, uh, Bill Gates.
142
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,706
Hi.
143
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:02,623
I've been meditating
for five years.
144
00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,799
He also donated
a lot of money
145
00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:06,714
to some Buddhist nonprofits.
146
00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:09,064
This place is neat, huh?
147
00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:11,109
A lot of money.
148
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:15,331
So now you are here at the end
of your lifelong journey.
149
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,898
Enlightenment,
150
00:06:16,985 --> 00:06:19,379
the place of serenity,
true wisdom,
151
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,903
and freedom from desire.
152
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,122
So we have to be here
instead of detention?
153
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:26,429
Yeah, that sucks.
[chuckles]
154
00:06:26,516 --> 00:06:29,737
Is there anything
cool here at all?
155
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,914
Would you like to hear
the meaning of life?
156
00:06:33,001 --> 00:06:35,090
Uh, no.
157
00:06:35,177 --> 00:06:37,397
Yeah.
Sounds boring. Yeah.
158
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:40,182
But it's the meaning of life.
159
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:43,490
You do realize that's
the reason people come here,
160
00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,100
to learn the meaning of life.
161
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:47,624
[laughter]
162
00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:50,714
That cloud looks like a butt.
163
00:06:50,801 --> 00:06:53,195
Yeah, it's a butt!
In the sky!
164
00:06:53,282 --> 00:06:55,980
[laughter]
165
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,288
It's a butt.
166
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:01,159
[laughter]
167
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,813
Yeah.
168
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,381
What are we going
to do about them?
169
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:06,948
Do not worry.
170
00:07:07,035 --> 00:07:09,820
None may remain here
in the state of enlightenment
171
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:13,345
unless they can keep
their serenity and focus.
172
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:17,175
Well, so when they lose
their serenity and focus--
173
00:07:17,262 --> 00:07:20,048
They must leave,
never to return.
174
00:07:20,135 --> 00:07:22,267
[laughter]
175
00:07:22,354 --> 00:07:23,312
[bowl ringing]
176
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,053
[laughter]
177
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:27,490
Hey.
178
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:31,451
Um, in Arizona, do you have,
like, food?
179
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:33,104
Food does not exist here.
180
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:35,759
Here we are free
from all desire.
181
00:07:35,846 --> 00:07:38,632
Uh, that sucks.
182
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,068
Yeah, really.
183
00:07:40,155 --> 00:07:41,896
Yes.
184
00:07:41,983 --> 00:07:44,725
It's enough to make you lose
your serenity and focus,
185
00:07:44,812 --> 00:07:46,074
is it not?
186
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:49,251
Although technically,
you can manifest
187
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:52,080
anything you want here with
the power of your will, so...
188
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,777
Uh.
189
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,039
[shimmering tone]
190
00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,867
[laughter]
191
00:07:56,954 --> 00:07:59,087
Cool.
- Yeah, these are fantastic.
192
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,309
Those bowls were given to me
by the first Dalai Lama
193
00:08:04,396 --> 00:08:06,007
in the year 1392.
194
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,661
Oh, yeah.
195
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:10,446
Yeah, Mr. Van Driessen
has the same ones.
196
00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:12,535
His are from
Cost Plus World Market.
197
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,102
Yup.
198
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:16,713
Same ones. Yep.
199
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:17,714
[bowl crashes]
200
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,281
Whoops.
201
00:08:19,368 --> 00:08:21,370
Someone should clean that up.
202
00:08:21,457 --> 00:08:22,980
Yeah, really.
203
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:25,635
Hey, naked guy, can you
go ahead and clean this up?
204
00:08:25,722 --> 00:08:28,377
You're already wearing a towel.
205
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:30,205
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you can just use that.
206
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:32,076
Yeah.
[bowl crashes]
207
00:08:32,163 --> 00:08:33,861
Yeah, wipe that up, too,
while you're at it.
208
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:35,471
Come on, let's go, come on.
209
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,213
Why, you
disrespectful little--
210
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,520
Zeus, concentrate
on your breathing.
211
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:41,999
Don't tell me what to do!
212
00:08:42,086 --> 00:08:44,436
Whoa, take it easy.
213
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:45,481
Keep your towel on.
214
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:47,004
Yeah, really.
215
00:08:47,091 --> 00:08:49,050
No one wants to see
your wiener.
216
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:52,183
I should shove
a thunderbolt up your ass!
217
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,055
[screams]
218
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:59,277
Everybody, please, remember
your serenity and focus.
219
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,584
Don't make the mistake
Zeus just made.
220
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:02,977
Hey, Beavis,
221
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,805
let's think of a monster truck.
222
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:08,548
Yeah, yeah, and tear ass
all over the place, yeah.
223
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,767
You're goddamn right.
224
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,421
That is enough
outta you punks!
225
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:13,770
You hold them,
and I'll hit them.
226
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,381
[Beavis and Butt-Head grunting]
227
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:19,907
Damn, this feels great!
228
00:09:19,994 --> 00:09:21,169
Whoo!
229
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,563
[both scream]
230
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:26,827
That was cool.
[laughs]
231
00:09:26,914 --> 00:09:29,394
My children,
we must work through this
232
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,483
in an enlightened manner.
233
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,789
Um, you've got
some nacho cheese
234
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:34,835
on your dress there, sir.
235
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:39,535
This is what you call
nacho cheese?
236
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:40,928
[sniffs]
237
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:44,061
It smells like
a beautiful flower.
238
00:09:45,889 --> 00:09:47,978
This is delicious.
239
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:50,938
I must get me some nachos.
240
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,027
[screams]
241
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,944
Uh, where'd he go?
242
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,163
[laughs]
- Yeah.
243
00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,339
So I guess
it's just you and me
244
00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:03,254
for the rest of eternity, huh?
245
00:10:03,341 --> 00:10:05,387
That'll give us
plenty of time to talk
246
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:07,563
about the future of computing.
247
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:08,782
[groans] Damn it.
248
00:10:08,869 --> 00:10:10,522
This guy is pissing me off.
249
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,612
Yeah, me too, yeah.
250
00:10:12,699 --> 00:10:13,395
Yeah, let's kick his--
251
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,049
[both scream]
252
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,880
[both scream]
253
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,014
Whoa!
What happened?
254
00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:27,757
Uh, I think we, like, escaped
enlightenment or something.
255
00:10:27,844 --> 00:10:29,454
Oh, yeah, yeah.
256
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:33,676
Yeah, good, yeah,
'cause that place sucked, yeah.
257
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:35,547
It was, like, in Arizona.
258
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:36,636
Yeah.
259
00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:39,029
Boys, if you keep talking,
260
00:10:39,116 --> 00:10:42,554
you'll never advance
in meditation, mm-kay?
261
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,948
- Cool.
- Yeah.
262
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:47,298
[both laughing]
263
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:50,258
[rock music]
17344
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