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1
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SASAPPIS: Isaac Higgintoot,
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00:00:10,814 --> 00:00:13,468
do you take Nigel
to be your husband?
3
00:00:13,469 --> 00:00:15,383
I don't.
4
00:00:15,384 --> 00:00:17,602
And you couldn't have told me
this an hour ago?
5
00:00:17,603 --> 00:00:19,343
♪
6
00:00:19,344 --> 00:00:20,736
FLOWER:
Her name is Patience.
7
00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:23,043
She's the lady that lives
in the ground.
8
00:00:23,044 --> 00:00:24,566
What? Who's that?
9
00:00:24,567 --> 00:00:26,611
We were once stuck in a hole.
10
00:00:26,612 --> 00:00:28,961
We decided we had
to join hands
11
00:00:28,962 --> 00:00:31,399
and navigate our way
through the dirt
12
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:32,878
to the Woodstone basement.
13
00:00:32,879 --> 00:00:34,924
We agreed that Sass
would lead the way,
14
00:00:34,925 --> 00:00:36,578
then Thor, then myself.
15
00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:38,319
There was another ghost
in the hole with us.
16
00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:39,972
Her name was Patience.
She was a Puritan.
17
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,844
- W-What happened to her?
- SASAPPIS: Isaac sneezed
18
00:00:41,845 --> 00:00:43,759
and let go of Patience's hand.[gasps]
19
00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,282
For all we know, she's
still out there, roaming.
20
00:00:45,283 --> 00:00:47,154
So, you're telling
me there's a Puritan woman
21
00:00:47,155 --> 00:00:49,939
just out there
wandering around in the dirt?
22
00:00:49,940 --> 00:00:51,245
Yes.
23
00:00:51,246 --> 00:00:53,073
Mm-mmm.
I don't like that one bit.
24
00:00:53,074 --> 00:00:55,901
You really should have invited
us to the wedding, Isaac.
25
00:00:55,902 --> 00:00:57,381
He's here, Patience.
26
00:00:57,382 --> 00:00:58,643
PATIENCE:
God bless you.
27
00:00:58,644 --> 00:00:59,993
Oh!
28
00:01:01,473 --> 00:01:03,779
MAN:
Patience, the council has met,
29
00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:06,303
and we've decided
that we'd like you
30
00:01:06,304 --> 00:01:07,609
to leave the community.
31
00:01:07,610 --> 00:01:08,653
What?
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00:01:08,654 --> 00:01:11,308
But I'm the most pious among us.
33
00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:13,702
Who experiences less joy than I?
34
00:01:13,703 --> 00:01:15,138
Who is more severe?
35
00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:18,141
Uh, you are joyless
and severe, I agree.
36
00:01:18,142 --> 00:01:20,056
But even for us Puritans,
37
00:01:20,057 --> 00:01:21,840
there's such a thing
as too severe. I mean,
38
00:01:21,841 --> 00:01:24,843
you wanted us to execute
Miss Elizabeth Prue.
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00:01:24,844 --> 00:01:26,367
She was talking to a doll.
40
00:01:26,368 --> 00:01:27,977
'Tis surely a sign
of witchcraft.
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00:01:27,978 --> 00:01:29,457
She's five.
42
00:01:29,458 --> 00:01:31,154
And on a path most dark.
43
00:01:31,155 --> 00:01:33,852
[sighs] The point is
you have to leave. I'm sorry.
44
00:01:33,853 --> 00:01:35,985
Then fine.
45
00:01:35,986 --> 00:01:38,901
I shall start my own colony.
46
00:01:38,902 --> 00:01:40,772
Where there will be no smiling,
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00:01:40,773 --> 00:01:42,426
no laughter.
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00:01:42,427 --> 00:01:44,341
And all the handles
of the butter churns
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00:01:44,342 --> 00:01:46,300
shall be rough-hewn,
50
00:01:46,301 --> 00:01:49,085
so that thoust shall feel
the pain of sin
51
00:01:49,086 --> 00:01:51,088
with every stroke.
52
00:01:52,176 --> 00:01:55,222
Well, I think people
are going to really enjoy that.
53
00:01:55,223 --> 00:01:57,399
Or-or not enjoy it.
Whatever you wish.
54
00:01:58,487 --> 00:02:00,401
Anyway, banishment.
55
00:02:00,402 --> 00:02:01,576
Next.
56
00:02:01,577 --> 00:02:03,666
♪
57
00:02:07,757 --> 00:02:08,931
ALBERTA: Oh, man.
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00:02:08,932 --> 00:02:10,498
I feel bad about Isaac
leaving Nigel
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00:02:10,499 --> 00:02:11,803
at the altar last night,
60
00:02:11,804 --> 00:02:13,849
but what a show.
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00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:15,981
Indeed. At least
it was a break
62
00:02:15,982 --> 00:02:18,332
from the crushing mundanity
of our bleak existence.
63
00:02:18,333 --> 00:02:21,857
Okay, the water bill this
month is unusually high.
64
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:23,989
And just like
that, we're back.
65
00:02:23,990 --> 00:02:25,339
Jay, have you been taking
long showers or something?
66
00:02:25,340 --> 00:02:27,428
You think I'm taking
long showers?
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00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:29,995
I got a bunch of invisible
people creeping on me.
68
00:02:29,996 --> 00:02:31,606
I wear a bathing suit in there.
69
00:02:31,607 --> 00:02:33,651
People are so uptight
about nudity.
70
00:02:33,652 --> 00:02:35,827
In the cult, we used
to take group showers.
71
00:02:35,828 --> 00:02:38,482
It really helped to clean
those hard-to-reach places.
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00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:39,918
Quick, Samantha,
more water bill talk.
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00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:41,224
[door closes]
MARK: Hey, guys.
74
00:02:41,225 --> 00:02:43,183
Got those
tile samples for the restaurant.
75
00:02:43,184 --> 00:02:45,707
Mark and I just went
to the hardware store.
76
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,578
[chuckles] Because
I can leave the property.
77
00:02:47,579 --> 00:02:49,014
We know, Pete.
78
00:02:49,015 --> 00:02:50,146
This one's perfect, right here.
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00:02:50,147 --> 00:02:51,191
Final answer. Lock it in.
80
00:02:51,192 --> 00:02:52,931
Wow, okay. That was easy.
81
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:54,585
It's usually a whole weird
song and dance with you two.
82
00:02:54,586 --> 00:02:56,848
Well, we should confirm it
with our investor.
83
00:02:56,849 --> 00:02:58,894
Right, our silent partner.
But do you really think
84
00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,896
he needs to weigh in
on such a little thing?
85
00:03:00,897 --> 00:03:02,506
Yes, I think he
would be very upset
86
00:03:02,507 --> 00:03:03,681
if we didn't loop him in.
87
00:03:03,682 --> 00:03:05,248
Yeah, that's more
what I expected.
88
00:03:05,249 --> 00:03:07,424
Anyway, our supplier said
he's almost out of these.
89
00:03:07,425 --> 00:03:09,905
So if we want them,
we got to act fast.
90
00:03:09,906 --> 00:03:11,646
See? So, let's ask Isaac, okay?
91
00:03:11,647 --> 00:03:12,995
Is he in here?
92
00:03:12,996 --> 00:03:14,605
No. Have any of
you guys seen him?
93
00:03:14,606 --> 00:03:17,391
- Mm.
- No. He must still
be moping in his room.
94
00:03:17,392 --> 00:03:19,828
Oh, poor guy.
But it was exciting for us.
95
00:03:19,829 --> 00:03:22,570
Oh, the drama!
- The smell of the hors d'oeuvres.
- Mm.
96
00:03:22,571 --> 00:03:24,833
The camaraderie.
The sharing of the soap.
97
00:03:24,834 --> 00:03:26,226
And she's back
on group showers.
98
00:03:26,227 --> 00:03:27,662
He wasn't at the hardware store
99
00:03:27,663 --> 00:03:29,751
because he can't leave
the property, which I can.
100
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:32,144
- What'd they say?
- They haven't seen him.
101
00:03:32,145 --> 00:03:33,363
I hope he's doing okay.
102
00:03:33,364 --> 00:03:35,278
Eh, I'm sure he's fine.
103
00:03:35,279 --> 00:03:36,845
Okay, okay, you know what?
104
00:03:36,846 --> 00:03:38,629
Let's just address
the elephant in the room.
105
00:03:38,630 --> 00:03:39,935
You're upset with me.
106
00:03:39,936 --> 00:03:41,415
Patience! Patience!
107
00:03:41,416 --> 00:03:42,720
That's new.
108
00:03:42,721 --> 00:03:45,375
Thou didst abandon me.
109
00:03:45,376 --> 00:03:47,551
It was an accident.
110
00:03:47,552 --> 00:03:49,031
I had to sneeze
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00:03:49,032 --> 00:03:50,337
and so I covered my nose.
112
00:03:50,338 --> 00:03:53,514
And in doing so,
I did let go of your hand
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00:03:53,515 --> 00:03:55,342
and abandoned you to the dirt.
114
00:03:55,343 --> 00:03:58,519
The point is, I was wrong.
115
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,085
And I apologize.
116
00:04:00,086 --> 00:04:02,827
'Tis my intention to push thee
into the dirt
117
00:04:02,828 --> 00:04:05,526
such that thou may know
the century of suffering
118
00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:07,049
Patience has endured.
119
00:04:07,050 --> 00:04:08,355
What?
120
00:04:08,356 --> 00:04:10,052
- Patience!
- Aah!
121
00:04:10,053 --> 00:04:11,532
Hey.
122
00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:14,448
Sorry, um, have
you-you seen Isaac?
123
00:04:14,449 --> 00:04:17,581
[sighs]
The marksman who only yesterday
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00:04:17,582 --> 00:04:18,843
pierced my heart
for a second time?
125
00:04:18,844 --> 00:04:20,845
No.
I can't say that I have.
126
00:04:20,846 --> 00:04:23,413
But, in a grander sense,
127
00:04:23,414 --> 00:04:26,024
I'm not sure
I've ever seen the real Isaac.
128
00:04:26,025 --> 00:04:28,853
I'm sorry, Nigel.
This is really hard.
129
00:04:28,854 --> 00:04:30,507
Nigel's still
living in the house?
130
00:04:30,508 --> 00:04:32,640
I thought he would have
slunk back to the shed.
131
00:04:32,641 --> 00:04:33,858
[groans]
132
00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,382
- Damn it, Jay.
- What?
133
00:04:35,383 --> 00:04:37,340
Didn't Isaac, like,
totally ditch him at the altar?
134
00:04:37,341 --> 00:04:39,386
[moans loudly]
135
00:04:39,387 --> 00:04:42,127
Well, we'll leave you alone.
136
00:04:42,128 --> 00:04:43,651
Those of us who
possess the ability
137
00:04:43,652 --> 00:04:44,956
to close doors will do so.
138
00:04:44,957 --> 00:04:47,350
[Nigel moaning]
139
00:04:47,351 --> 00:04:49,309
SASAPPIS:
Can you turn on the TV already?
140
00:04:49,310 --> 00:04:52,312
It's not called 45 Minutes.
I want to watch the full 60.
141
00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:54,618
[chuckles] Okay, it's not
just like pressing a button.
142
00:04:54,619 --> 00:04:56,141
I mean, it is, but it's hard.
143
00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:58,013
And it's impressive
that I can do it at all.
144
00:04:58,014 --> 00:05:00,798
Possible Trevor somehow
growing weaker over time.
145
00:05:00,799 --> 00:05:03,148
Legs are looking
little smaller.
146
00:05:03,149 --> 00:05:04,411
What? No.
147
00:05:04,412 --> 00:05:06,675
That's not
even physically possible.
148
00:05:07,893 --> 00:05:09,938
Hey. Have you
guys seen Isaac?
149
00:05:09,939 --> 00:05:11,374
I haven't seen him.
150
00:05:11,375 --> 00:05:12,636
Me neither.
151
00:05:12,637 --> 00:05:13,811
Not since wedding,
which went...
152
00:05:13,812 --> 00:05:15,553
[chuckles] very bad.
153
00:05:19,557 --> 00:05:22,211
Nancy? Have you seen Isaac?
154
00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:25,867
Isaac? Huh. Huh...
155
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,434
You know,
now that you mention it,
156
00:05:27,435 --> 00:05:30,306
I think he said he was
going for a stroll this morning.
157
00:05:30,307 --> 00:05:32,917
Mm-hmm. And I remember that
because when he said "stroll,"
158
00:05:32,918 --> 00:05:34,354
I was looking at a bowl
and I was like
159
00:05:34,355 --> 00:05:37,575
"Whoa, stroll and bowl--
what are the chances?"
160
00:05:39,055 --> 00:05:41,491
- What?
- Did he say when he'd be back?
161
00:05:41,492 --> 00:05:44,973
I'm sorry,
I didn't get his life story.
162
00:05:44,974 --> 00:05:47,628
Geez, what's with
the third degree, huh?
163
00:05:47,629 --> 00:05:49,151
Why are you
being so weird?
164
00:05:49,152 --> 00:05:50,457
I'm not being weird.
165
00:05:50,458 --> 00:05:52,110
You're being weird!
166
00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:55,157
Quit taking your body issues
out on me, chicken legs.
167
00:05:55,158 --> 00:05:57,942
I don't have to take this.
Move!
168
00:05:57,943 --> 00:05:59,379
Interesting.
169
00:05:59,380 --> 00:06:01,293
Nancy seems like
she's hiding something.
170
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,252
Okay, you listen here, Nancy,
171
00:06:03,253 --> 00:06:04,471
and you listen good.
172
00:06:04,472 --> 00:06:05,689
She left, Jay.
173
00:06:05,690 --> 00:06:08,170
Why am I even
along on this mission?
174
00:06:08,171 --> 00:06:10,215
Please, Patience.
I'm sorry.
175
00:06:10,216 --> 00:06:12,000
I didn't mean to lose you.
176
00:06:12,001 --> 00:06:13,741
I-I... I did look for you.
177
00:06:13,742 --> 00:06:17,092
A few times, I even ventured
slightly into the dirt.
178
00:06:17,093 --> 00:06:20,487
No. You wouldn't.
Not for Patience.
179
00:06:20,488 --> 00:06:22,967
Are you kidding?
I missed you.
180
00:06:22,968 --> 00:06:25,883
We all missed you.
Me, Sass, Thor.
181
00:06:25,884 --> 00:06:28,582
The entire Hole Patrol.
182
00:06:28,583 --> 00:06:30,235
And we had
some good times, right?
183
00:06:30,236 --> 00:06:32,020
Remember when
184
00:06:32,021 --> 00:06:34,849
Thor tried to say
the word "supposedly,"
185
00:06:34,850 --> 00:06:37,634
and instead said "supposably?"
186
00:06:37,635 --> 00:06:40,332
[chuckles][chortles]
187
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:42,683
'Twas indeed quite amusing.
188
00:06:42,684 --> 00:06:43,988
And I don't know about you,
189
00:06:43,989 --> 00:06:45,729
but I loved our time
in the ditch.
190
00:06:45,730 --> 00:06:48,166
I mean, who wouldn't
enjoy staring
191
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:50,168
at that gorgeous porcelain skin?
192
00:06:50,169 --> 00:06:52,344
'Tis from the bloodletting
that killed me.
193
00:06:52,345 --> 00:06:53,694
[chuckles]
194
00:06:53,695 --> 00:06:55,696
I'm just glad
we get to hang again.
195
00:06:55,697 --> 00:06:58,612
Although, similarly
to how Thor, Sass and I
196
00:06:58,613 --> 00:07:01,179
missed being in the ditch
with you, I do fear
197
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:03,704
I might miss being with them.
198
00:07:03,705 --> 00:07:05,619
See what I mean, Patience?
199
00:07:05,620 --> 00:07:09,144
- Isaac is lonely.
- Exactly.
200
00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:11,799
I miss my friends.
201
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,975
You can understand that, right?
202
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:16,238
Oh, Patience understand.
203
00:07:16,239 --> 00:07:18,370
Patience. Patience.
204
00:07:18,371 --> 00:07:19,807
Great.
205
00:07:19,808 --> 00:07:22,505
Isaac. Isaac.
206
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:24,464
ALBERTA:
Nancy, out with it.
207
00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:25,943
What happened to Isaac?[groans]
208
00:07:25,944 --> 00:07:28,468
I don't know why you guys
are riding my leg about this.
209
00:07:28,469 --> 00:07:30,426
I have no idea where he is.
210
00:07:30,427 --> 00:07:33,255
Okay, I had promised
not to say anything,
211
00:07:33,256 --> 00:07:35,213
but Nancy already
told me what happened.
212
00:07:35,214 --> 00:07:36,867
You told him about Patience?
213
00:07:36,868 --> 00:07:39,827
[gasps] Wait, what happened
with Patience?
214
00:07:39,828 --> 00:07:41,393
Oh, damn it, Stuart.
215
00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:43,004
You have to be the dumbest,
216
00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:45,180
most gullible piece of trash
I've ever known,
217
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,008
and I was married
to the village idiot.
218
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:48,531
Come on, Nancy.
What happened?
219
00:07:48,532 --> 00:07:50,359
Okay.
220
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,840
So yesterday, attracted by
the pulsing bass
221
00:07:52,841 --> 00:07:55,016
from the wedding DJ's speakers,
222
00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,844
Patience appeared
through the wall.
223
00:07:56,845 --> 00:07:59,107
She asked to speak to Isaac,
224
00:07:59,108 --> 00:08:01,283
so we arranged a meeting.
225
00:08:01,284 --> 00:08:03,372
CATHERINE:
We thought she just wanted
to yell at him a little.
226
00:08:03,373 --> 00:08:05,200
We didn't know she was
gonna drag him away.
227
00:08:05,201 --> 00:08:06,636
It was very rude.
228
00:08:06,637 --> 00:08:08,159
NANCY:
We were mad about
229
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,596
not being invited
to the wedding,
230
00:08:09,597 --> 00:08:11,293
but we didn't want
this to happen.
231
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:12,860
Jay, uh, quick update.
232
00:08:12,861 --> 00:08:14,426
Isaac was kidnapped
by a Puritan ghost
233
00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,211
who's been roaming
the dirt for centuries
234
00:08:16,212 --> 00:08:17,865
waiting for a
chance at revenge.
235
00:08:17,866 --> 00:08:20,911
Oh, that's really gonna push
back an answer on these tiles.
236
00:08:20,912 --> 00:08:23,784
Obviously, I'm also very
concerned for Isaac.
237
00:08:23,785 --> 00:08:27,091
Thor confused.
How Patience just take Isaac?
238
00:08:27,092 --> 00:08:30,312
Not like she strong enough
to lift Isaac over shoulder.
239
00:08:30,313 --> 00:08:32,532
Probably something
you struggle with as well.
240
00:08:32,533 --> 00:08:35,709
I broke a ThighMaster
once, Thor. I broke it.
241
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,146
Patience is real stealth.
I'll show you.
242
00:08:38,147 --> 00:08:40,583
I'll be Patience
and, Sass, you be Isaac.
243
00:08:40,584 --> 00:08:43,020
Okay? See, he was
standing over there.
244
00:08:43,021 --> 00:08:44,761
Right here?
245
00:08:44,762 --> 00:08:46,547
Yep, but his back
was to the wall.
246
00:08:47,635 --> 00:08:49,244
- Like this?
- NANCY: Exactly.
247
00:08:49,245 --> 00:08:50,724
Then all of a sudden...
248
00:08:50,725 --> 00:08:52,464
- Patience!
- Oh!
249
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:54,511
[all scream]
250
00:08:55,773 --> 00:08:58,079
Okay, you got to believe me.
251
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,169
We did not know
that was gonna happen.
252
00:09:05,174 --> 00:09:06,914
[shouting]
253
00:09:06,915 --> 00:09:08,916
[panting]
Surprise!
254
00:09:08,917 --> 00:09:10,961
Patience, what
is the meaning of this?
255
00:09:10,962 --> 00:09:12,789
Thou did say that
thou missed thy friends.
256
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:14,922
'Tis now a problem solved.
257
00:09:14,923 --> 00:09:16,227
Wait, did I get kidnapped
258
00:09:16,228 --> 00:09:17,577
because Isaac said
he was lonely?
259
00:09:17,578 --> 00:09:20,231
No. I have been
vastly misunderstood.
260
00:09:20,232 --> 00:09:22,234
And also,
- she has gone quite mad.
- Okay.
261
00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:25,889
Isaac didst inform me how much
you searched for Patience
262
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:28,065
all those years ago.
263
00:09:28,066 --> 00:09:29,676
'Twas a relief
264
00:09:29,677 --> 00:09:31,895
on account of how much
I did see thee as friends.
265
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:34,289
Uh... same.
266
00:09:34,290 --> 00:09:36,900
Oh! I never had such friends
267
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:38,902
as in the ditch.
268
00:09:38,903 --> 00:09:40,904
And now we have another chance.
269
00:09:40,905 --> 00:09:42,514
- Huzzah.
- Yay.
270
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,299
It is ordained.
271
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:48,085
We shall spend the remainder
of eternity here, together.
272
00:09:48,086 --> 00:09:49,565
Now
273
00:09:49,566 --> 00:09:52,568
is it time for my daily
constitutional.
274
00:09:52,569 --> 00:09:55,876
It took me a century to get
my bearings here in the dirt,
275
00:09:55,877 --> 00:09:58,182
so don't you go wandering off
276
00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,358
lest ye be lost forever.
277
00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:02,926
[cackling]
278
00:10:02,927 --> 00:10:04,798
Oh, this sucks.
279
00:10:04,799 --> 00:10:06,408
Yeah.
280
00:10:06,409 --> 00:10:08,323
Okay, Flower,
you spoke with Patience
281
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:09,585
while you were in the well.
282
00:10:09,586 --> 00:10:11,021
Do you recall her
saying anything
283
00:10:11,022 --> 00:10:12,675
that could help us
locate Isaac and Sass?
284
00:10:12,676 --> 00:10:14,764
Don't love that Flower's
memory's load-bearing here.
285
00:10:14,765 --> 00:10:15,765
Okay,
286
00:10:15,766 --> 00:10:17,463
let me think.
287
00:10:18,464 --> 00:10:19,769
It's interesting,
because Patience
288
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,641
has taken Isaac and now Sass.
289
00:10:21,642 --> 00:10:23,599
It's almost like
she's abducting everyone
290
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,948
that was in the ditch with her.
291
00:10:24,949 --> 00:10:26,820
Which just
leaves Thor.
292
00:10:26,821 --> 00:10:28,560
- Huh?
- ALBERTA: Yeah.
293
00:10:28,561 --> 00:10:30,345
She could be
coming for you next, big guy.
294
00:10:30,346 --> 00:10:32,869
The final piece to her
creepy little puzzle.
295
00:10:32,870 --> 00:10:34,392
Thor like to see her try.
296
00:10:34,393 --> 00:10:36,744
[chuckles]
Thor not scared.
297
00:10:39,747 --> 00:10:42,183
Oh, wait! I do remember
something about Patience.
298
00:10:42,184 --> 00:10:43,401
- Mm.
- She was small,
299
00:10:43,402 --> 00:10:44,707
she had no arms and legs.
300
00:10:44,708 --> 00:10:45,970
She was a worm.
301
00:10:47,058 --> 00:10:48,537
There was worm
named Patience?
302
00:10:48,538 --> 00:10:50,365
Yeah, I named her
after this other Patience I met.
303
00:10:50,366 --> 00:10:51,409
She's a Puritan.
304
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,237
And we're in the vicinity.
305
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:55,413
Do you know where
we can find the Puritan?
306
00:10:55,414 --> 00:10:57,938
Yes, Patience
said something about
307
00:10:57,939 --> 00:10:59,940
living in a cave
underneath a willow.
308
00:10:59,941 --> 00:11:01,681
Okay, Flower said
that Sass and Isaac
309
00:11:01,682 --> 00:11:02,986
are under a willow.
310
00:11:02,987 --> 00:11:04,640
Is there a willow tree
on the property?
311
00:11:04,641 --> 00:11:05,815
Yeah, remember,
that's where I crashed my drone
312
00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:07,121
that looks like a TIE fighter.
313
00:11:07,122 --> 00:11:08,688
TIE fighter's from Star Wars.
314
00:11:08,689 --> 00:11:10,515
Star Wars is a
futuristic space opera.
315
00:11:10,516 --> 00:11:12,343
A... Well, actually, it was
set in the distant past.
316
00:11:12,344 --> 00:11:14,824
This is worse than
Samantha's water bill talk.
317
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:15,825
Well, what are we
waiting for, huh?
318
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,131
- Let's go get 'em.
- Get who?
319
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:20,003
- Aah!
- Aah! Aah!
320
00:11:20,004 --> 00:11:21,222
What the hell?!
321
00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:23,528
Thor not scared,
Thor just surprised.
322
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:26,749
Subtle but important difference.
323
00:11:26,750 --> 00:11:28,838
[water dripping]
324
00:11:28,839 --> 00:11:31,623
Maybe being imprisoned
in this dank lair
325
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,408
with that interminable dripping
326
00:11:33,409 --> 00:11:34,801
is my comeuppance.
327
00:11:34,802 --> 00:11:36,541
What are you talking about?
328
00:11:36,542 --> 00:11:38,806
I've disappointed everyone
who's ever depended on me.
329
00:11:39,850 --> 00:11:42,417
I was a bad fiancé in death,
a bad husband
330
00:11:42,418 --> 00:11:44,071
in life.
Let this be
331
00:11:44,072 --> 00:11:45,550
my promise to you, my friend.
332
00:11:45,551 --> 00:11:48,466
If, by the grace of God,
we ever get out of here,
333
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:50,860
I vow to change my ways.
334
00:11:50,861 --> 00:11:52,122
To be
335
00:11:52,123 --> 00:11:54,735
kinder, to be less selfish.
336
00:11:55,953 --> 00:11:57,475
To be a better person.
337
00:11:57,476 --> 00:11:59,129
Good for you.
338
00:11:59,130 --> 00:12:01,088
Your rock looks more
comfortable. Can I have it?
339
00:12:01,089 --> 00:12:02,785
W-What happened
to being a better person?
340
00:12:02,786 --> 00:12:05,048
What? Oh, no, no, no.
I said, "if."
341
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:07,094
If we get out of here.
342
00:12:07,095 --> 00:12:09,139
God has to uphold his end
of the bargain first.
343
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:12,664
[sighs] Can't believe
we're in this situation.
344
00:12:12,665 --> 00:12:15,102
Who knows what that lunatic
has in store for us?
345
00:12:15,103 --> 00:12:16,581
Ugh. Honestly,
I'd like to say
346
00:12:16,582 --> 00:12:17,713
that she
became terrible
347
00:12:17,714 --> 00:12:19,280
because of
the isolation,
348
00:12:19,281 --> 00:12:21,935
but she was always
a little off to begin with.
349
00:12:21,936 --> 00:12:23,937
[imitates Patience]:
Patience! Patience![Isaac chortles]
350
00:12:23,938 --> 00:12:26,504
Your version's too sane.
[imitates Patience]: Patience!
351
00:12:26,505 --> 00:12:28,898
Patience![regular voice]: Oh, yeah,
that's it. That was good.
352
00:12:28,899 --> 00:12:30,987
That one really
captured the madness.
353
00:12:30,988 --> 00:12:32,773
That wasn't me, Isaac.
354
00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:37,907
[both gasp]
355
00:12:37,908 --> 00:12:40,476
Patience.
What's up, girl?
356
00:12:42,478 --> 00:12:45,045
[grunts] Oh.
357
00:12:45,046 --> 00:12:46,916
I'm tired and my hands hurt.
358
00:12:46,917 --> 00:12:49,440
Yeah, sorry I couldn't
find that second shovel, Jay.
359
00:12:49,441 --> 00:12:50,965
You threw it behind
the shed, Sam.
360
00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:53,054
How it going?
361
00:12:54,055 --> 00:12:55,229
Thor, get over here.
362
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:56,317
Thor good in this
363
00:12:56,318 --> 00:12:57,797
open space
364
00:12:57,798 --> 00:12:59,581
with, uh, clear views
of all approaches,
365
00:12:59,582 --> 00:13:01,452
but... [short chuckle]
not scared.
366
00:13:01,453 --> 00:13:02,845
[thump]
Oh, I think he broke through!
367
00:13:02,846 --> 00:13:04,020
Sam, I think
I broke through.
368
00:13:04,021 --> 00:13:05,065
Do you see anything?
369
00:13:05,066 --> 00:13:06,893
Sass! Isaac!
370
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:08,764
Trevor! Arrow guy!
371
00:13:08,765 --> 00:13:10,244
Oh, this is fun,
naming everyone.
372
00:13:10,245 --> 00:13:11,506
Oh, it's
373
00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,290
a burrow of rabbits.
374
00:13:13,291 --> 00:13:14,726
No ghosts.
They're not in here.
375
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:15,858
Patience ain't in there.
376
00:13:15,859 --> 00:13:17,904
You can stop
cowering, Thor.
377
00:13:17,905 --> 00:13:20,384
And your hat small and ugly
like Trevor's legs.
378
00:13:20,385 --> 00:13:22,038
Two for one-- boom!
379
00:13:22,039 --> 00:13:23,648
Wait a minute.
380
00:13:23,649 --> 00:13:25,912
Patience never said she
lived under a willow.
381
00:13:25,913 --> 00:13:29,393
The Grateful Dead said we could
all get high under a willow
382
00:13:29,394 --> 00:13:30,873
in the song
"Sugar Magnolia,"
383
00:13:30,874 --> 00:13:32,614
which wasn't released
until after I died,
384
00:13:32,615 --> 00:13:35,704
but Bobby Weir used to
sing it to us in the shower.
385
00:13:35,705 --> 00:13:37,184
They're not in there, Jay.
386
00:13:37,185 --> 00:13:39,229
You know what that means?
387
00:13:39,230 --> 00:13:41,188
BOTH:
We're digging
in the wrong place.
388
00:13:41,189 --> 00:13:42,842
Raiders. Did Pete do the Raiders thing?
389
00:13:42,843 --> 00:13:44,626
Our friends are still
being held hostage,
390
00:13:44,627 --> 00:13:46,019
but, yes, Jay,
he did the Raiders thing.
391
00:13:46,020 --> 00:13:47,890
- My guy.
- My guy.
392
00:13:47,891 --> 00:13:50,066
I wanted to be nice.
393
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:52,852
But no one's nice to Patience.
394
00:13:52,853 --> 00:13:54,114
There's only one thing to do.
395
00:13:54,115 --> 00:13:56,333
Yes, one thing to do.
396
00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:57,682
Forget this ever happened
397
00:13:57,683 --> 00:13:59,684
and start over
with a clean slate?
398
00:13:59,685 --> 00:14:01,686
Take thee into the dirt.
399
00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:03,036
Eh, when you say, "thee,"
400
00:14:03,037 --> 00:14:05,125
do you mean me "thee"
or he "thee?"
401
00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:06,343
Both.
402
00:14:06,344 --> 00:14:07,562
Don't love that.
403
00:14:07,563 --> 00:14:08,650
[growls]
404
00:14:08,651 --> 00:14:10,218
[both screaming]
405
00:14:12,916 --> 00:14:16,440
Three, two, one, shoot!
Yeah.
406
00:14:16,441 --> 00:14:18,094
What was that?
Y-You just made a fist.
407
00:14:18,095 --> 00:14:20,357
That is what rock is, Stuart.
408
00:14:20,358 --> 00:14:23,360
The rules are so simple.
You're killing me.
409
00:14:23,361 --> 00:14:26,668
The sexual tension
between these two.
410
00:14:26,669 --> 00:14:27,887
It's palpable.
411
00:14:27,888 --> 00:14:29,279
Will they or
won't they?
412
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:30,933
Just put us out
of our misery.
413
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:32,587
[screaming]
Oh, my God, that was gross.
414
00:14:32,588 --> 00:14:34,632
Oh, that was so scary.
And disgusting.
415
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:36,939
I'm pretty sure a worm
went right through my mouth.
416
00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:39,202
Oh, she's back
and she wants more!
417
00:14:39,203 --> 00:14:41,161
Here, take him.
He's not annoying.
418
00:14:41,162 --> 00:14:42,466
No.
419
00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:44,077
I'm returning them.
420
00:14:44,078 --> 00:14:45,513
Thou art free to go.
421
00:14:45,514 --> 00:14:47,471
Wait, really?
422
00:14:47,472 --> 00:14:49,125
W-why?
423
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:51,998
'Tis mine own fault for thinking
you actually liked me.
424
00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:54,174
Patience
shall return
425
00:14:54,175 --> 00:14:56,263
to her one true friend:
426
00:14:56,264 --> 00:14:57,874
the dirt.
427
00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:02,618
Oh...
428
00:15:04,576 --> 00:15:06,360
Why does paper beat rock?
429
00:15:06,361 --> 00:15:08,536
Do I run into the dirt?
430
00:15:08,537 --> 00:15:10,059
[exclaims]
431
00:15:10,060 --> 00:15:12,409
I got it!
Patience said she was living
432
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:14,237
in a white room
with black curtains.
433
00:15:14,238 --> 00:15:15,673
No, wait,
434
00:15:15,674 --> 00:15:18,111
that's from a bath I took
with the band Cream.
435
00:15:18,112 --> 00:15:19,939
[groans]
This is painful.
436
00:15:19,940 --> 00:15:22,419
If legs hurt from standing,
you can have Thor seat.
437
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:24,030
I was talking about Flower.
438
00:15:24,031 --> 00:15:25,466
The legs are great.
439
00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:26,989
We have returned.
440
00:15:26,990 --> 00:15:28,034
[ghosts exclaiming]
441
00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:30,036
How did you escape?
442
00:15:30,037 --> 00:15:31,385
Did you brave the dirt?
443
00:15:31,386 --> 00:15:32,647
Or did you have to
do something you can
444
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:34,562
never talk about?
You can tell Berty.
445
00:15:34,563 --> 00:15:35,693
Berty keeps her mouth shut.
446
00:15:35,694 --> 00:15:38,044
Actually, she just let us go.
447
00:15:38,045 --> 00:15:39,436
Sasappis hurt
her feelings.
448
00:15:39,437 --> 00:15:40,872
Me?
You did it too.
449
00:15:40,873 --> 00:15:42,874
But you started it,
by imitating her.
450
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:45,529
[imitates Patience]:
Patience! Patience!
451
00:15:45,530 --> 00:15:46,878
[regular voice]: That's
a thing she does now.
452
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,358
It's nuts.
453
00:15:48,359 --> 00:15:51,057
Look, I'm glad to be back,
but I don't know, man--
454
00:15:51,058 --> 00:15:54,277
I feel like she needed friends
and we abandoned her.
455
00:15:54,278 --> 00:15:56,846
Just like we did 130 years ago.
456
00:16:02,939 --> 00:16:03,984
[imitates Patience]:
Patience!
457
00:16:05,115 --> 00:16:06,420
[regular voice]: I'm not even
exaggerating, that is literally
458
00:16:06,421 --> 00:16:08,291
what it is.
She is loony.
459
00:16:08,292 --> 00:16:10,772
Well, I think we figured out
what's up with the water bills.
460
00:16:10,773 --> 00:16:12,339
Mark says
the fountain is leaking.
461
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:15,385
Just hundreds of dollars
dripping into the ground.
462
00:16:15,386 --> 00:16:18,214
And the fascinating saga
of the water bill continues.
463
00:16:18,215 --> 00:16:20,825
Will they patch the
- pipes? Stay tuned.
- Babe,
464
00:16:20,826 --> 00:16:22,871
Sass and Isaac
escaped Patience's clutches.
465
00:16:22,872 --> 00:16:24,090
They're back.
466
00:16:24,091 --> 00:16:25,961
Oh, nice.
467
00:16:25,962 --> 00:16:28,181
You see? Sometimes this ghost
stuff just resolves itself.
468
00:16:28,182 --> 00:16:29,834
That's a good lesson
- for the future.
- SASAPPIS: Wait a minute.
469
00:16:29,835 --> 00:16:31,271
Dripping?
470
00:16:31,272 --> 00:16:33,099
Isaac, remember the dripping
in Patience's lair?
471
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:35,101
Patience's lair must be
under the fountain.
472
00:16:35,102 --> 00:16:38,104
What? She's been
50 feet away this entire time?
473
00:16:38,105 --> 00:16:40,367
Oh, now, that
creeps me all the way out.
474
00:16:40,368 --> 00:16:43,109
You know, if Patience's
feelings were really hurt,
475
00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:45,067
now you can
do something about it.
476
00:16:45,068 --> 00:16:46,721
We know where she is.
477
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:48,592
Hey, just to clarify,
are you suggesting
478
00:16:48,593 --> 00:16:51,117
going and getting the
creepy, feral, Puritan ghost
479
00:16:51,118 --> 00:16:53,423
and bringing her
into the house?
480
00:16:53,424 --> 00:16:56,035
I'm suggesting righting a wrong
that happened
481
00:16:56,036 --> 00:16:57,471
a long time ago.
482
00:16:57,472 --> 00:16:59,690
Wow. And you wouldn't even
let me get a lizard.
483
00:16:59,691 --> 00:17:01,518
May I just remind you
that this
484
00:17:01,519 --> 00:17:03,520
lunatic kidnapped
485
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:05,174
and held us hostage?
486
00:17:05,175 --> 00:17:07,220
'Cause she was hurting, Isaac.
487
00:17:07,221 --> 00:17:09,178
And, also, she let us go.
488
00:17:09,179 --> 00:17:11,485
Wait, you were kidnapped
by a worm?
489
00:17:11,486 --> 00:17:14,836
I may regret this, but I feel
we need to go get Patience.
490
00:17:14,837 --> 00:17:17,099
Patience is very creepy,
491
00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:18,579
but Thor know
492
00:17:18,580 --> 00:17:20,668
pain of abandonment.
493
00:17:20,669 --> 00:17:23,845
Would not wish that
on any non-Dane.
494
00:17:23,846 --> 00:17:25,673
Isaac, you were
literally just saying
495
00:17:25,674 --> 00:17:28,328
that if we got out of there,
you'd turn over a new leaf
496
00:17:28,329 --> 00:17:29,416
and be a better person.
497
00:17:29,417 --> 00:17:31,113
Well, here's your chance.
498
00:17:31,114 --> 00:17:33,681
Yes, perhaps we could
start with something smaller?
499
00:17:33,682 --> 00:17:36,075
I could compliment one of
Samantha's dreadful sweaters.
500
00:17:36,076 --> 00:17:38,860
That looks...
501
00:17:38,861 --> 00:17:40,079
lovely.
502
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,256
- Isaac.
- Okay, fine, fine.
503
00:17:43,257 --> 00:17:44,605
[sighs]
504
00:17:44,606 --> 00:17:47,173
Let's go get that
scary Puritan woman.
505
00:17:47,174 --> 00:17:49,566
Jay, we may need to
destroy the fountain, but...
506
00:17:49,567 --> 00:17:51,786
Please don't finish
- that sentence.
- TREVOR: No.
507
00:17:51,787 --> 00:17:53,483
I got a better idea.
508
00:17:53,484 --> 00:17:55,485
I'm a guy with great legs
509
00:17:55,486 --> 00:17:57,401
and a great idea.
510
00:18:01,188 --> 00:18:02,449
SAMANTHA:
Wow, Jay,
511
00:18:02,450 --> 00:18:04,059
this is actually
really cool.
512
00:18:04,060 --> 00:18:05,713
They formed a human chain.
513
00:18:05,714 --> 00:18:07,715
Or, you know, a ghost chain.
514
00:18:07,716 --> 00:18:09,456
Once again, Sam,
we're still human,
515
00:18:09,457 --> 00:18:10,979
we're just dead.
516
00:18:10,980 --> 00:18:12,981
This is the most amazing
sight I've never seen.
517
00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:14,374
You see, back
at Camp Ramah,
518
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:15,810
I was anchor of my
tug-of-war team.
519
00:18:15,811 --> 00:18:17,116
Three years running,
520
00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:18,682
we got first in
the Maccabiah games.
521
00:18:18,683 --> 00:18:19,901
Okay.
522
00:18:19,902 --> 00:18:22,164
I'll take Crash's hand.
523
00:18:22,165 --> 00:18:24,601
At least we know
he cannot sneeze.
524
00:18:24,602 --> 00:18:26,734
Yeah, yeah, keep going.
Into the dirt.
525
00:18:26,735 --> 00:18:28,475
I hate this!
[shouts]
526
00:18:28,476 --> 00:18:30,129
Whee! [laughs]
527
00:18:30,130 --> 00:18:33,133
Oh! Now we stop. Stop. Stop.
Pull out! Pull out!
528
00:18:34,134 --> 00:18:36,396
No! The-the ghosts
got pulled into the dirt.
529
00:18:36,397 --> 00:18:38,006
JAY:Oh, no.
530
00:18:38,007 --> 00:18:39,703
[grunting] Yes!
531
00:18:39,704 --> 00:18:41,618
T-Money and his magic quads.
532
00:18:41,619 --> 00:18:43,620
[grunts]
Suck it, Thor!
533
00:18:43,621 --> 00:18:45,666
Thor's way up there.
534
00:18:45,667 --> 00:18:46,841
Pass it on.
535
00:18:46,842 --> 00:18:49,670
Suck it, Thor.
Pass it on.
536
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:51,193
DIRK:
Suck it, Thor. Pass it on.
537
00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:52,890
STUART:
Suck it, Thor.
Pass it on.
538
00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:54,980
[water dripping]
539
00:18:56,025 --> 00:18:57,982
[grunting]
540
00:18:57,983 --> 00:18:59,854
Patience!
541
00:18:59,855 --> 00:19:01,682
We came back.
542
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:03,031
Isaac? Sasappis?
543
00:19:03,032 --> 00:19:04,728
What is the
meaning of this?
544
00:19:04,729 --> 00:19:06,382
We're not gonna
abandon you again.
545
00:19:06,383 --> 00:19:07,905
Come with us.
546
00:19:07,906 --> 00:19:09,603
[Pete screams]
Oh, sorry! Sorry!
547
00:19:09,604 --> 00:19:12,214
I... got him.
548
00:19:12,215 --> 00:19:13,868
We're good, we're good.
549
00:19:13,869 --> 00:19:15,565
Look, we know we messed up,
550
00:19:15,566 --> 00:19:18,220
but you're our friend.
551
00:19:18,221 --> 00:19:20,702
And you are not a lunatic.
552
00:19:21,659 --> 00:19:23,356
My point is we would like you
553
00:19:23,357 --> 00:19:24,618
to come back
to the house with us.
554
00:19:24,619 --> 00:19:27,186
You came back for me?
555
00:19:27,187 --> 00:19:28,535
Not soon enough.
556
00:19:28,536 --> 00:19:31,494
Patience. Patience!
557
00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:33,975
Oh, so, it can be good or bad.
558
00:19:33,976 --> 00:19:35,672
- That's interesting.
- Mm-hmm.
559
00:19:35,673 --> 00:19:37,805
[imitates Schwarzenegger]: Come
with me if you want to live.
560
00:19:37,806 --> 00:19:39,328
[regular voice]:
Terminator.
561
00:19:39,329 --> 00:19:41,548
It's a movie.
Uh, a movie's,
562
00:19:41,549 --> 00:19:43,332
like, a series of images... SASAPPIS: Can we do this
563
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:44,333
back at the house?
564
00:19:44,334 --> 00:19:47,381
Suck it, Thor.
Pass it on.
565
00:19:48,643 --> 00:19:49,731
Wait.
566
00:19:54,257 --> 00:19:55,779
[sighs]
Hey, Jay, if I were kidnapped
567
00:19:55,780 --> 00:19:57,390
and trapped
in an underground lair,
568
00:19:57,391 --> 00:19:59,435
would you risk
an eternity in the dirt
569
00:19:59,436 --> 00:20:00,697
for the chance to save me?
570
00:20:00,698 --> 00:20:02,264
Ooh, of course.
571
00:20:02,265 --> 00:20:04,266
And I love that
these are our hypotheticals.
572
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:05,528
Mm.
573
00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:06,703
Well?
574
00:20:06,704 --> 00:20:08,270
Oh, sorry, bro.
575
00:20:08,271 --> 00:20:09,706
It's a no-go on the tiles.
576
00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:11,491
Our investor wants
to see other options.
577
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:13,188
I mean, burgundy--
578
00:20:13,189 --> 00:20:15,495
are we opening a
restaurant or a brothel?
579
00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:16,539
Okay,
580
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:17,975
I'll find some more options.
581
00:20:17,976 --> 00:20:19,760
Sorry, Mark.
582
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:22,937
By the way, how's Patience
adapting to life in the house?
583
00:20:22,938 --> 00:20:25,549
I think it's going really well.
584
00:20:27,072 --> 00:20:29,813
PATIENCE:
One last question for thee.
585
00:20:29,814 --> 00:20:31,902
What is thy favorite color?
586
00:20:31,903 --> 00:20:33,295
Ugh.
I did not sign up for this.
587
00:20:33,296 --> 00:20:34,557
Patience! Patience!
588
00:20:34,558 --> 00:20:35,993
Aah! Purple!
589
00:20:35,994 --> 00:20:37,344
Oh.
590
00:20:47,832 --> 00:20:49,834
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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