All language subtitles for All Creatures Great and Small s05e03 Homecoming.eng

ENGINE SPUTTERING

ENGINE SPUTTERING

ENGINE STARTS

Sounds
like the carburettor.

Yes,
I'm aware of that.

She's
not cooperating.

I'll
try again tomorrow.

Can you, erm,
give this to Audrey for me?

Is
there any message?

She'll
know what it's for.

Maggie
asked me to give you this.

Oh, thank you.

Aren't
you going to open it?

I'll do it later.

Ingredients
are thin on the ground,

and I've a christening
cake wants icing.

Is Mr Bosworth aware
of these clandestine dealings?

I can assure you
everything is strictly above board.

I've just called in a favour,
that's all.

Someone's traipsed mud
all through the hallway.

Swept
it twice today already.

Here, let me do it.
You've got cake to make.

I might retire to my office
before someone tidies me away.

I'll be working on my speech
if anyone needs me.

Speech?

Oh, are
your parents not wi' you?

They're just getting settled
at the B&B,

and then I'll bring them over.

Ah. You don't see
me going to all this trouble for your dad, do you?

That's different.
I hardly ever see 'em.

I'm just the girl
that dragged you away from Glasgow.

Corrupted me.

Lured me to the dark side.
SHE CHUCKLES

I bet
they're excited to see you.

They're not interested in me.

It's you and Jimmy
they've come to see.

BABY CRIES Oh!
Talk of his lordship.

Did you tell Siegfried
he could write a speech?

Said it was
part of his godparent duties.

I'll talk to him.
And say what?

Tell him to keep it brief.

It's Siegfried
we're talking about.

TELEPHONE RINGS

Carmody! Carmod...

BABY FUSSING,
PHONE RINGING

He's still not back from his exams.
Yes, yes.

Darrowby 2297.

Mr Biggins.

How's
that nanny goat doing?

Really?

We should have seen
a marked improvement by now.

Yes, I understand.
I'll be with you as soon as I can.

Problem?Bad case of lumpy jaw.
He's had me up there twice already.

You'll have to go for me,
I'm afraid. Why?

Because I'm likely to end up
doing a stretch in Wormwood Scrubs

if I have to spend another second
in that man's company.

If it was any other time, Siegfried.
But with my parents...

Well, that's a convenient excuse,
don't you think?

Everything
all right?

Biggins.

Has
he mentioned the gates yet?

SIEGFRIED: You
know he's got seven gates?

Seven! One after
each of the deadly sins, no doubt.

He's run me ragged
with his constant vacillation.

Well, not this time!

I-I meant to ask, how are you
getting along with the speech

for the christening?

Oh, I'm rather pleased with
it, actually.

A-And how... long is it, exactly?

This is the beginning
of Jimmy's spiritual journey, James.

I take my role as godparent
very seriously.

As do I.

But
I shan't be doing a speech.

And for that,
we'll be eternally grateful.

Right, I should fetch my parents.

They're champing at the bit
to see Jimmy.

HE GRUNTS

Abandon
all hope, ye who enter here.

HE RINGS BELL

Can I help you?
Telegram for Mr Farnon.

Er, Mr Farnon?

HELEN:Is that them?

No.
You're all right.

Oh! Ow!

Ow!

You want to get that carburettor
seen to.

I see you still haven't got round
to fixing that gate.

Helps keep undesirables out.

MUTTERS: As
opposed to keeping them in.

Huh?I think you'd better take me
straight to your goat, Mr Biggins.

Does this mean
I'll get my money back?

On account of you misdiagnosing,
like?

I'm perfectly confident
in my diagnosis.

Funny how it always ends up

with me having to part
with my hard-earned cash.

HE SIGHS

GOAT BLEATS

All right.

All
right, all right.

GOAT BLEATS

Are
you absolutely sure

you administered the sulphanilamide
as prescribed?

Oh, aye. Exactly as you said.

Then we'll need
to increase the dose.

Sounds expensive.

Would you get her some fresh
straw, please?

She'll need somewhere comfortable
to sleep.

HE MUTTERS
UNDER BREATH

Don't
worry, old thing.

We'll
soon have you grazing again.

HANNAH:There
they are!

Oh!

Come and give your granny
a big hug! Oh!

It's
lovely to see you both.

Oh, he's gotten so big
since we last saw him.

Aye,
he's a bonny wee thing.

Oh, he's a bit grizzly tonight.

Teething, I bet.
Oh, it's too early for that.

He'll
be wanting a feed, poor mite!

Well, if I give him any more
milk, he'll burst. Eh?

Nonsense.
He's a growing boy.

He's like you, son.
He's got a big appetite.

Does
your mummy not feed you?

Oh, perfect timing, Mrs H.

Mr and Mrs Herriot.
I trust you had a pleasant journey?

MR HERRIOT: Aye, no complaints.

HELEN:D'you
need a hand?

What time is the christening
tomorrow? Midday.

MRS HERRIOT:Oh, I can't wait.
Is everything all right, Audrey?

Course.

The scones
are fresh out the oven.

Tea?
Yes, please.

JIMMY BABBLES

These look lovely.

That's very tasty.
MR HERRIOT CHUCKLES

You want to hold onto
this one, son!

Oh, I can't take the credit,
I'm afraid.

It's
all Audrey's handiwork.

The flowers are all down to Helen.

Picked them fresh for you
this morning.

What's that, then?

Stimulant injection. It might
give her the boost she needs.

Nay, nay.
She just needs some iodine.

We've been through this, Mr Biggins.
Iodine is of no use to your goat.

Yeah,
you and your new-fangled powders.

On some kind of commission, are you?

I wouldn't be
a competent veterinary surgeon

if I prescribed something
as antiquated as iodine.

Expensive things, injections.
How much is that gonna cost me?

I
honestly don't know.

Oh, you'll know, all right,

when you get t'pen in your hand
to send me that big bill, won't you?

All
right, all right.

GOAT BLEATS

There we are.

Right.
All we can do now is pray.

Gonna charge me for that as well?

Take this. And if it doesn't work,
I won't charge you.

How does that sound?

Aye, I suppose.

Now, perhaps you'd be so good
as to help me with the gate?

You're joking, aren't you?
Bloody thing's a death trap.

My mother swore blind
by Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup.

Later proven to contain
dangerous levels of morphine.

MRS HERRIOT CHUCKLES

Aw. One last kiss from Granny
before we go.

He's looking tired.

Oh, don't
let that face fool you.

He'll have us up
for the early hours.

Routine's the key. James used
to go down like clockwork.

Not so much as a peep out
of him until morning.

Don't listen to her.

He had a set of lungs on him
that could wake the dead.

HELEN LAUGHS

Why don't you come round
after breakfast?

We'll take Jimmy
for a walk round Darrowby.

Aye, we'd like that.
Good night, son.

Good night.

See you tomorrow.
Night.

DOOR CLOSES
That wasn't so bad, was it?

SHE CHUCKLES SOFTLY

DOOR SLAMS

How were Mr Biggins?
Insufferable as ever.

All I want to do is pour myself
a whisky and lie in a hot bath.

Mr Farnon... Are we still
playing host to the Scottish contingent?

.
.a telegram arrived.

It's
addressed to you.

I see.

James and Helen
are putting Jimmy to bed,

so
you won't be disturbed.

Thank you, Mrs Hall.

HE SIGHS HEAVILY

DOOR OPENS

He's coming home.

What does it say?

"Home tomorrow."
Mm.

Is that it? Well,
Tristan's never been one for detail.

Why is he back?
Your guess is as good as mine.

If you're looking for
hidden meaning, I wouldn't bother.

I've
checked the train timetable.

There's only that one connection
from London he could be on today.

It's got to be a good sign
if he was able to send it himself.

Yes, I suppose so.

Perhaps he's just got
a few days' leave.

From Cairo?

Well, it's just like Tris to show up
as we're about to throw a party.

THEY CHUCKLE

Well,
I hope you're right.

Don't
imagine you got much sleep.

It
was a fretful night.

Well,
try not to assume the worst.

That's
easier said than done.

It was
the same when he was a child.

Falling out of trees,
riding his bicycle without brakes.

Never
a thought for his own safety.

He's resilient. Always has been.
Where are my blasted...?

Oh. Thank you.

Would
you like me to come with you?

I-I think it best
I do this by myself.

I will never utter a cross word
to that boy again

if he
comes home in one piece.

ENGINE SPUTTERS

Oh, not today.

Not today!

ENGINE SPUTTERS

HE TAKES
DEEP BREATH

HE EXHALES SLOWLY

ENGINE STARTS

ENGINE SPUTTERING
Come on!

Not now!

WHISTLE BLOWS

TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS

HE SIGHS

"To
be early is to be on time.

"To
be on time is to be late."

"And to be late.
.. is unacceptable."

You drummed that into
me enough times.

Aren't
you going to say something?

Can I help you?
Oh, I-I'm sorry,

I didn't realise
the surgery was closed today.

Oh, I'm sure my son can help you.
He's a partner here.

James
Herriot, MRCVS.

Graduated top of his class
at Glasgow University.

Oh, I
don't like to interrupt him.

Oh, nonsense!
He'll be glad to help. Shall we?

DOG BARKS

JIMMY BABBLES

KNOCK AT DOOR

Oh.
Just don't talk to them

about football...
or Mrs Winslow's Soothing Syrup.

SHE LAUGHS

Morning! We're almost ready to go.

Morning.
James...

Making friends, I see.

Oh,
I'm sorry, Mr Herriot.

Your mother insisted.
The animals always come first.

Isn't that
right, James? Indeed it is.

Do you mind?
I'll have to catch you up.

No, course not. How about
we start at the Victory Garden?

Great. You can give me some
tips for my radishes.

See you later, then.

WHISPERS: Sorry.

And who do we have here, then?

This is Lucy.
Ah.

She's a fine-looking dog.

Eh? Yes.

Yeah.
Well, what seems to be the problem?

She's
obsessed with Emmeline.

Emmeline?

It's got to the point where
she won't leave home without her.

Oh.

LUCY GROWLS,
BARKS

This
is what she does.

Well, let's, erm,
let's get her inside,

see if we can't
get to the bottom of it.

Oh, erm...

OK. All right.

DOOR OPENS,
SHUTS

FOOTSTEPS IN HALLWAY

Is
that you, Mr Farnon?

Which
one were you looking for?

Get over here!

I've been saving this
up since Cairo.

SHE LAUGHS,
SNIFFLES

And
everything's intact?

No bones broken?

Not
a hair out of place.

Well, go on,
tell her about your promotion.

He's
only been put in charge

of training new veterinary recruits
in Doncaster.

It's just lecturing.
Not all the training.

You know me, Mrs H. Never one
to boast about my achievements.

Is that for me?

Just a little treat
I've been saving for you.

Life
doesn't get any better.

Oh, is Jim here?

DOG BARKS
Er, I think so.

James
Herriot, get out here!

James!

I've tried
confiscating it, but...

she went and took a chunk
out of my hand,

and that's the first time
she's ever turned like that.

Well, that won't do at all.

LUCY GROWLS See?
That's what she does.

Well, you're lucky
she didn't try and nip you too.

TRISTAN:James Herriot,
get out here!

I think...

I think what we have here
is a case of overstimulation.

Is it serious?
No, it's nothing to worry about.

While toys can be great for dogs,

sometimes, they can form
unhealthy attachments.

So,
what do you suggest?

Well, I-I think, erm...

a period of enforced separation
might be in order.

Well, she
won't like that at all. LUCY BARKS

Don't worry.

Emmeline's just going
on a little adventure.

Keep her distracted
with plenty of walks.

Maybe the odd treat or two.

Pop back in a couple of days,
and we'll see how she's getting on.

Yes, I will do.
Thank you, Mr Herriot.

Mind how you go, Lucy.
Oh!

Cheerio.
Thank you.

What's all this I hear
about Jimmy stealing my thunder?

What's all this
growing on your top lip?

THEY LAUGH

So?

How are you?

Exhausted.

Never met so many hardened drinkers
in all my life.

Are you back for good?

No, I'm in Doncaster three days
a week till I'm redeployed.

Well, it's still Yorkshire.

Just.

The rest of the time is my own.
I'm a man of leisure.

Excellent. We could do
with another pair of hands.

Last time I checked, I actually
don't work for you any more.

Yes,
quite right, my mistake.

Let me grab these for you.

Yes, good. You can fill me in on
what's been happening around here.

It's exactly as you left it.

With the addition of wee Jimmy,
of course.

Well, that's not good enough.
I want salacious scandal. Come on!

So, what did they
have you doing out there?

Er,
field support, mainly.

Making sure
the animals were fit for duty.

Horses, mules.
The odd camel.

The unsung heroes, eh?

Well, it would appear
we have an interloper.

That's Hamish.

With very questionable taste
in bow ties.

That would be Carmody.

He's in London,
finishing off his final exams.

Be back in a week or two.

The pretender to my throne.
I can't wait to meet him.

Did Siegfried not mention him
in his letters?

No, he told me
he'd hired a new assistant.

He neglected to tell me
he was now sleeping in my bed.

SIEGFRIED, DOWNSTAIRS:
Tristan!

There's someone
who wants to meet you.

I think he was just grateful
for the distraction.

He's missed you.

We all have.

I'll
leave you to it, shall I?

How was the walk?

Oh, we had a smashing time.
Fresh air's the key.

He loved having his pram pushed
by his granny, didn't you? Eh?

And the victory garden?
Ah, lovely!

It's a wonder
how she finds the time,

with
wee Jimmy to care for.

Where were you?

Well, I got caught up
in something here.

I don't believe it!

This isn't a mirage, Helen.
Really is me.

Older, wiser,
more handsome than ever.

LAUGHTER

Mr and Mrs Herriot,
looking younger by the day.

It's
lovely to see you.

MR HERRIOT:
Aye. Back where you belong.

And this
is young Jimmy, I take it.

He's excited
to meet his Uncle Tristan.

Er, may I?

JIMMY BABBLES

Hey!

JIMMY COOS
Hello.

HE FLAPS LIPS
Brr! Brr! Brr!

Are you
waiting for him to reply?

HE CHUCKLES
No.

I'm just trying to work out
who he looks like.

Well,
he's a handsome young thing...

so I'm guessing
he's got his mother's genes.

I'm sorry to break up the party,
but we're due at the church soon.

Is it that time already?
I need to get Jimmy in his gown.

Oh, don't you worry.
We'll keep the vicar talking.

Are you sure you're not too tired
from your journey?

What? And miss you renounce
the Devil?

Not a chance.
Sacred occasion, Tristan.

That doesn't mean
we can't have a bit of fun.

Shall we?

BELLS RINGING

Dearly beloved, ye have brought
the child here today to be baptised,

that our Lord Jesus Christ

would receive him
and release him from sin,

to sanctify him with the Holy Ghost,

to give him the kingdom of heaven
and everlasting life.

Now, can I please ask the family
to gather at the font?

ORGAN PLAYS

Did they throw you out?
It was quite the scandal.

How many
times did you fall in love?

Oh, just once.
Laila.

My Arabian camel.

She was exotic, feisty. She did have
a tendency to get the hump, though.

Tristan.

Sorry, Vicar.

Could I ask the godparents
to step forward?

Do thou,
in the name of this child,

renounce the Devil
and all of his works?

BOTH:I
renounce them all.

Will you then obediently keep

God's holy will
and the commandments,

and walk in the same
all the days of thy life?

I will. I will.
BOTH:By God's help.

Would one of the godparents
take Jimmy?

Yes. Come on.
There we go.

Hello.

Almighty, ever-living God,

sanctify this water

to the mystical washing away of sin.

Grant that this child
receives the fullness of Thy grace

through Jesus Christ, our Lord.
Amen.

ALL:Amen.

Would you please name the child?

James Alexander.

Right, young man, it's your turn.

Is he good with water?

Only
if there's ducks.

I baptise thee
in the name of the Father...

WATER SPLASHING,
JIMMY FUSSES

..the Son...
JIMMY CRIES

..and the Holy Ghost.

Amen.
ALL:Amen.

SIEGFRIED:Well,
I thought that went rather well.

Mrs Hall will need some time
to prepare the lunch,

and then we can
move on to the speeches.

There's more than one? I
was talking figuratively, James.

Hang on, hang on. Isn't it customary
to wet the baby's head?

That's the night the baby's born.
Not after the christening.

Well, I missed the birth, on account
of me fighting for my country.

I don't think it's appropriate.
Not today.

Don't you want to buy your
brother a pint?

He's been away, fighting in
t'war! Of course I do.

But there's
a schedule to stick to.

MRS HALL: Oh, another hour
in't gonna hurt.

I'll have lunch ready
for when you get back.

Right, that's settled, then.
James, you coming for one? One!

Mum'll want to get back
to the house. Another time.

You go with Tristan.
I'll take your mum back.

That's
very kind of you.

Are you sure?

Just don't
let him lead you astray.

I'll be an hour, tops.

I'm so sorry, Helen.

I'm sure Tristan
didn't mean to commandeer your day.

Right. Let's
make a start on this spread.

Actually, I'd rather go
with James and Tristan.

I'm almost an adult.
I can do what I like.

A girl that age
shouldn't be in a bar.

Absolutely not.

'Tris, what are you having?'

Oh, put your money away, James.
This round's on me.

Five pints of your finest,
please, barmaid.

JENNY CLEARS THROAT Oh,
er, make that six.

Look at what the cat's dragged in!
Egypt's finest export.

I see the war's done nothing
to dampen your spirits.

How have you been?

Surviving.
.. just about.

Any
word from Arthur?

They've got him stationed
out in North Africa.

Libya,
I think it was.

Well, it's a shame
our paths never crossed.

We could
have pined together over...

Darrowby.

JAMES: Enemy sighted
at three o'clock.

Oh, is that Biggins?

He's like the Grim Reaper,
lurking round every corner.

You've
only got yourself to blame.

Should have stopped taking that
old rascal's business years ago.

RICHARD: Now, then,
where is it you were stationed?

Cairo, weren't it?
Indeed.

Yeah, it was the scene of
much heartbreak for many of us. Aye.

Lost a lot of men.

I'm
talking about the women.

It can't have been easy, though,
working in that heat.

Oh, it was exhausting.
Yeah. Deadly at times.

How
did you get through it?

The
Cairo Cafe, mainly.

Sometimes the Turf Club,
depending on, you know, my mood.

Come on, you must have seen
some hardship out there.

You know me, James.

Never one to let a little bloodshed
get me down.

Well, that'll be six shillings
exactly.

Tristan?

Would you mind? I've
left my wallet in my other trousers.

MAGGIE GIGGLES

There you go.

Can I help at all?

Oh, no, you're all right.
We're nearly done now.

Well,
that was a lovely service.

Oh, thank you.
Jimmy enjoyed it.

Do you want a brew?

Oh, no,
no, you carry on as you are.

I'm
happy just sitting here.

So, this is where
you eat all your meals?

Most of the time, yes.
That makes sense.

You don't want to stay cooped
up in that cramped attic.

JIMMY CRIES
Oh! Jimmy's awake.

Oh, shall I get him?
Don't worry. I'll go.

JIMMY COOING
Hello. Yes!

JIMMY LAUGHS
Yes!

Where
should I put these?

Oh,
on the table's fine.

FAINT SCRATCHING

Did you hear that?

It
sounded like scratching.

DOG WHINING

Did
you hear that? Did you?

Did you?
DOOR OPENS

Ooh! What
are you doing here on your own?

DOG BARKING

Oh,
I need some help here!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

LUCY BARKS

Clawing
at the door, she was.

TRISTAN:'Her
name was Rosa.'

She was a Canadian
stationed at the field hospital.

RICHARD: She were a looker? We're
talking Betty Grable here.

Legs that went on...
Thank you.

What happened to her?

Her heart lay with another.
Royal Engineer from Cleethorpes.

For God's sake,
it's hardly A Farewell To Arms.

Just
out of interest,

did you do ANY work over
there, Tristan?

Excellent question!

I did my fair share.

There was the capture
of Sidi Barrani, for one.

Oh, aye? Big lad, was he?

It's
on the Egypt-Libya border.

You
were part of that campaign?

A small part, yes.

How, exactly?

Because
from what I can gather,

you spent your time drifting
from one bar to another.

A lot's changed since your day,
Siegfried. Is that so?

You lot relied on tin hats
and blind faith.

Nowadays, we prefer
a more strategic approach.

Isn't
that right, James?

Absolutely.

I
think you'll find...

Do you know what? Forget it.
If you'll excuse me,

I need some air.

Mr Biggins.

How's
your goat? Any improvement?

Well, she's gotten worse,
if anything.

I'll be wanting my money back
on that prescription of yours.

Are you sure
you're administering it correctly?

You saying I can't make out
instructions? Is that it?

I'm
saying no such thing.

I just don't understand
why it hasn't taken effect.

Because the stuff you gave me
is bloody useless.

You hear this, Alderson?

Vitnery's only been after

trying to palm me off
with some fake powders.

Fake powders
sounds like my domain.

How can I be of assistance,
Mr Biggins.

Everything's
under control.

He's just slandered your name
in a pub full of paying customers.

It's Peg I feel sorry for.

Treating her
like some kind of experiment.

That's it!
I insist on having another look.

Hang on a minute. It's
no trouble at all.

Wait for me.
What are you doing?

Coming with you.
Well, there's really no need.

What are you talking about?
He's besmirching our good name.

James, will you pass on my apologies
to Mrs Hall?

Aye, of course.
Thank you.

You know, I encountered
my fair share of goats in Egypt.

There's a particular knack
with them.

I could
give you some pointers.

Oh!
Ooh!

She won't keep still.
Why would she come back here?

I don't know,
but she's after something. Ooh!

LUCY YELPS,
WHINES

What is it?
What are you looking for? Eh?

Is she after food?

LUCY BARKS

I don't think so.

What?

LUCY BARKS

It's not
this, is it? LUCY BARKS TWICE

GROWLING HAPPILY

All this over a toy?

What
are the symptoms?

Weight loss.
Difficulty eating.

Salivating.

Come on. Let's
have a little look at you.

Oh, yes.

She
has nodules in the jaw.

Swelling around the neck and face.
It has to be actinomycosis.

In English?

Lumpy
jaw, Mr Biggins.

Which
was my original diagnosis.

Can I see the prescription
I gave you yesterday?

What for?Because I can't believe
you've administered it correctly.

Are you calling me a liar?

He was merely asking
for confirmation, Mr Biggins.

All I want is my money back
from those dodgy powders of yours.

You should count yourself lucky
we're not in Egypt.

They'd have just slapped on
some iodine and hoped for the best.

No, no. Thankfully,
we're a little more advanced

in our way of thinking here.
The bare-faced cheek of it.

Sorry? You, making
out I don't know what's best for me animals.

All I'm saying is...

I think you've said more than enough
already, don't you?

Could my brother use your stove
to make up a warm compress?

It might
help reduce Peg's swelling.

Aye, I suppose.

Thank you.

Now, where were we?

You, slandering my good name.

Yes.

HE SIGHS

James told me stories
about your dog.

It's Don, in't it?

Aye.

James tears up
every time he's mentioned.

You know, he still waits at the
door for James to come home. Aw.

We both do.

She's treating that toy
like it's her baby.

I
remember that feeling.

You
never want to let go.

Gives me a pain in my chest
just thinking about it.

You're
doing a wonderful job.

You
know that, don't you?

VEHICLE PULLS UP

What is it?

I think
her teats might be swollen.

JAMES: Helen?
We're in here.

What's Lucy doing here?

We found
her scratching at the door.

Turns
out she left summat behind.

Emmeline.

I think it's more
than just a toy to her, James.

I think it might be
a phantom pregnancy.

You sly old fox.

Helen's right. Her mammary glands
are definitely swollen.

So
it is a phantom pregnancy.

Ooh, I'm impressed.

They get the idea
they're going to have pups

after they've been in season.

Some even get a swelling
in the abdomen.

Aw. So she just wanted
to be with her pup.

I can't believe
you tried to take her baby, James.

Well, I... She was being aggressive.

I did it for her own safety. You
locked her away in a drawer.

Maybe we shouldn't be too
hard on the boy.

Perhaps it's something
only a mother can understand.

Where's Biggins? Tormenting
one of his farm hands, probably.

What happened to the compress?
I got a little distracted.

I can't
believe he lied to my face.

Just to
worm his way out of paying?

Maybe it's time we give him
a taste of his own medicine,

don't you think?

Oh. I hope you're not
charging me by the hour, Farnon.

I was just saying to my brother,
Mr Biggins,

all this talk of Egypt,
it's got me thinking.

Do you mind if I check
one more thing? Oh, I suppose.

Right, come here.
Let's have a look at you.

GOAT BLEATS

Yep.
Just as I suspected.

Nile fever.

Ah!

Nile what?

Fever. It's mainly prevalent
in North Africa.

I'm fairly
certain your goat has it. Mm.

Well, how?
She's never been to Africa.

Spittle.
Yes.

Come again?On the back
of a postage stamp, no doubt.

You're winding me up.

Your
son's in the army, isn't he?

Yeah. Royal Tank Regiment.
Oh, well,

that explains it. It's
airborne, you see. Airborne.

I'm meant to believe that
African spittle is killing my goat?!

No, no, she's not dying.
No! Far from it.

A simple injection
should sort her out. Siegfried?

It's a good job
you've been using our medicine.

How d'you mean?Well, if not,
the injection could cause

serious, serious consequences
for the animal.

Y-you mean it could kill her?
Oh, within seconds.

But you've nothing to worry about.
She's had the sulphanilamide.

Oh, nay, nay!
There's been a misunderstanding.

What
sort of misunderstanding?

Well, I-I just...

I just don't think she's been
getting enough of the stuff.

Maybe I need to...
increase the dosage.

I always find it
easier to administer

if you
take it out of the packet.

Are you sure you've got everything?

Anyone would think
he was trying to get rid of us!

Did
Mrs Hall give you some cake?

Enough to see us through
till winter.

One last cuddle for your granny
before we go.

Goodbye, son.
I'll call you soon.

Every
Sunday, without fail.

Why do I feel like
I'm being ganged up on here?

Get used to it.

THEY CHUCKLE

You two seem
to be getting on famously now.

Maybe we could invite them
to stay for the summer.

Let's
not get carried away.

SIEGFRIED, KNOCKING:
'James?'

Helen?

Looks
like the party's over.

I
never got to do my speech.

Then do it for me now.
Don't be ridiculous.

I'm being serious.
I want to hear it.

Perhaps an abridged version?
Music to my ears.

I thought I'd start by talking
about the emperor penguin.

That might be
where you lose your audience.

And how
fatherhood takes many forms.

But
however they manifest,

all fathers,
God, surrogate or otherwise,

share
one common desire.

To help
those under their care

become the best version
of themselves.

Job done.

The trouble is when they start
to forge their own path...

..and you realise
the roles have somehow reversed.

You find
yourself needing them...

..far more
than they ever needed you.

And then I thought
I'd end on a flourish,

with a particularly pertinent
quote from Aristotle.

Why do you always
have to go back to the Greeks?

I'm sorry if my terms of reference
are too highbrow for you.

I think it'd be nice
if you chose a book we'd all read.

Like
what, Tristan? The Dandy (?)

DOOR OPENS

The Greeks built the foundations
of Western civilisation.

Honestly, a first-class education,
and this is what you come out with.

It beggars
belief, it really does!

Well, I'm a student of life,
not the classroom.

It's nice to see those two
getting on so well.

Isn't it just?

THEY CHUCKLE

SIEGFRIED SIGHS

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