All language subtitles for Grotesquerie.S01E09.1080p.WEB.H264-SuccessfulCrab

♪ I remember when I
was a little girl ♪

♪ Our house caught on fire ♪

♪ I'll never forget the
look on my father's face ♪

♪ As he gathered
me up in his arms ♪

♪ And raced through
the burning building ♪

♪ Onto the pavement ♪

♪ And I stood there shivering
in my pajamas and... ♪

We should not be doing this.

I want to go to Dairy Queen.

Maisie, I know what I'm doing.

Pull over. It's right up here.

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

♪ Is that all there is? ♪

♪ If that's all there
is, my friends ♪

♪ Then let's keep dancing ♪

♪ Let's break out the booze ♪

♪ And have a ball ♪

♪ If that's all ♪

♪ There is. ♪

We're just going to sit
here and say nothing?

Marshall.

Maisie is sitting
out there, Lois.

She gets paid to
sit there and judge.

Look,

it's been a long, long
run between us, Marshall.

A long run.

I realized a long time ago what
was happening between you two.

I wasn't heartbroken.

I mean, I'd lost the
capacity for that.

Which made me understand
why you went in search

of something else, Marshall.

We don't have to do this, Lois.

I didn't blame you.

I mean, I didn't hide
how far I felt from you.

Why wouldn't you want to be with
someone who actually liked you,

which I could no longer do

after you couldn't
hide how disappointed

and disgusted you were

with our daughter's
weight gain in college?

It wasn't disappointment
or disgust.

That was you. I was helpless.

Hundred pounds in one year?

It's biblical.
It-it was a curse.

Exactly. And that's when
you love people more.

And your reaction to
that made me think

I could no longer love you.

So, sleeping with her husband
was your way of showing love?

Do... do... do you
hear yourself, Lois?

Look...

there are very few things
people are not capable of.

You taught philosophy.

And for the record, I will
never not be sorry about that.

I like you, Redd.

I always have.

She was your nurse in my dream.

But, Marshall, I heard you

when you whispered in
my ear in the hospital

and wished me dead.

Just fucking die.

And not in a merciful way, so...

I was pushed to that.

Well, we all know how love
can turn to hate, don't we?

I don't want to live like that,

in a constant state
of catastrophe

and-and-and endless rage.

So, with regards to you
and I and the future...

I want us to just be at peace.

Okay?

Here are divorce papers.

You can have whatever you want.

The Danish China, the
silverware, all of it.

Anything. Take it.

And whatever peace
you can muster up.

And I will do the same, just...

elsewhere.

Where?

Well, when I was a kid...

I went to Florida with my folks.

A little town called
Tarpon Springs.

Mm. We fished,

ate seafood, stayed in a motel.

It beckons.

Does it?

Now, I'm-I'm just supposed
to be grateful now?

That-that's what's
expected of me?

I will always remember that
I loved you once, Marshall.

Then we had a
complicated daughter,

and I got hard.

Big deal.

Th-That's the sum of
your collected wisdom

about who you are?

Let's set the record straight.

"Hard" implies

that you are still a
recognizable human,

but you are impossible
to categorize.

A chimera, a fucking
beast made of fury.

And good luck letting that go,

because it's engrained
in you, Lois.

- It is you, Lois.
- M-Marshall.

Let's not do this.
She's trying to...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

I did want you to die. You bet.

It would've been a fucking
mercy to both of us.

The cunt...

and the asshole keel over.

Both of us need to be dead.

The world would be prettier.

That's our show, folks.

I have to tell you, Ms. Lois,

I think the Virgin
Mary would forgive me,

but this cone is heaven.

It's-it's Heaven. We should
come to Dairy Queen every day.

- Should we do that?
- Mm.

Time to go see the kid.

Don't know why you won't
let sleeping dogs lie.

If you don't, you'll
get up with fleas.

That's actually two
sayings conflated into one.

Hmm.

I don't know why
you were just a cop.

With that fancy education,
you could have been a dentist.

What?

It's good to see you.

So... so, what is this?

Are you here to beg
for more forgiveness,

- to apologize more? I mean...
- Nah.

I know I was a bad mother.

An unforgivable one, eventually.

"Eventually"?

But you... Little
girl, you sucked.

And I was there for
you through all of it.

The two nervous breakdowns,

the-the-the time you
joined a goddamn cult.

Okay, I did not join a cult.

- That was a group of like-minded...
- A cult.

All the bad boyfriends.

I was there for
all of it, Merritt,

and I tried and I tried.

So, what, all of this justifies

you sleeping with the
man that I married?

Of course not, Merritt.

But you were a bitch
for two decades.

And I had had enough.

So...

What, did you want
to make it impossible

for me to ever touch him again?

You marked him like a dog.

He got me, Merritt. My ways.

Ugh.

He and I had more in common

than the two of you, if
we gonna be real about it.

Oh, my God, did you love him?

Did you?

Or was he just a provocation?

Can a crazy person
actually love?

'Cause you were crazy.

And so was I.

Merritt.

The things we do to
each other, us humans.

If you knew how
bad it could get,

maybe you would've been less
of a shit all those years.

That's why you stole
him from me? To show me?

Look,

I am leaving, okay?

I'm moving away
to somewhere warm.

Bye.

One last thing.

That slap of yours the
last time I saw you,

that really hurt.

Good.

Now...

if you ever desire to have
a real relationship with me,

come find me.

'Cause after all I've
been through, baby girl,

that is the only kind I want.

A breaking news update
on the devastation

left in the wake...

of the hurricane which just
made landfall overnight...

Duval here.

Can you repeat that, please?

Text me the address.

Major highways are impassable

due to debris, and
it could take days

or even weeks to
restore electricity.

Does some of it make
sense to you now?

Your dreams and hallucinations
are like jigsaw puzzles,

impressionistic but
made up of reflections

from your own experiences.

But not all of it.

In my experience,

we are watching
the world burning.

Living through the
end of the world.

The fire came up out of nowhere.

Nothing comes up out
of nowhere, Lois, dear.

Well, is there any
way around it, Daddy?

My father taught me how to camp,

and I forgot most of it, but...

but I think

that he was the gas
station attendant

that gave us the fire tents.

Got to be prepared
for the worst.

A moral force.

Teaching lessons.

I miss him.

You know...

He's the reason I
am who I am today.

He was also a sheriff in
the High Desert, so...

So you think you summoned him
to save you with the fire tent?

I want to get back to
the dreams of murder.

Actually, I would like to
call in a colleague of mine.

He has a PhD.

He is brilliant in
the nascent study

of dreams and coma landscapes.

We are just at the beginning of
understanding what the brain,

what neurons in trauma
can do, catalogue.

He's been working with me
on your exceptional case.

He is, in a word,
if I may say...

brilliant.

May I call him in?

May I smoke?

Of course. If you need that.

I do.

Go ahead, bring him
in. What's his name?

Dr. Milton Smythe, PhD.

Hello, Lois.

It's nice to finally meet you.

Your mind is
extraordinary to me.

The murders from your dreams

that bear no resemblance
to any case you ever had,

what is that, do you think?

The milk plant.

Women tied to... to
milking machines.

That was...

in my mind, in
my-my-my subconscious.

Women losing agency,

control over their own bodies.

Being forced to reproduce.

I never had a case
like that, but...

It was distressing to me

the way this world
has... turned on women.

You know that's how I got the
COVID that put me in a coma.

Maisie and I went to
a women's rights rally

at city hall.

Based on my research, an
issue you would die for.

And almost did.

And then there was a drug den.

Yes.

You never had such a case,

but you described every detail.

An unrecognizable
codex of words,

a language on the walls.

And the Burnside family.

I don't want to talk about it

'cause that I do not
want to conjure up.

We have to, Lois.

You've dealt with so many
horrors in your career.

This is the culmination
of all of them.

We have to discover
what it means.

What it felt like
when you drove up.

What you saw.

What was revealed.

I got a call around dawn.

I was at home.

You described pulling up

and seeing your horrified
police colleagues.

Stay with it.

Describe it.

You described viscera,
blood, intestines

and body parts on the
walls of the living room.

Some sick art project?

And you walked into the kitchen.

From what place does
this get conjured up?

I don't know.

I don't know how this is...

I don't... This is in
me, but-but from where?

I want you to be free from
the grip of your trauma,

and while some nightmares
are better left alone,

some we have to confront.

The ones we don't forget,

what I call "failed dreams"

because we should
not remember them.

You saw the future, I think.

You envisioned it.

Dr. Smythe, if I may...
I have an observation.

Of course. Sharing is caring.

I went to a lecture

on empathy in New
York a bit ago.

Well, I think this proves
that there is less empathy

now than there was previously.

At least in student populations.

So, what are we to make of this?

Is empathy seeping
out of human nature?

Why are we hardening?

Is the ubiquitous media
humming in the background

numbing us to the
signs and clues

of life in the
people all around us?

Maybe... it's the
isolation of our moment.

Less human interaction,

more technology
supplanting communion.

But regardless of what it is,

brain imaging is showing
our mirror neurons

changing markedly.

And this can only mean

that the human species

is also changing.

He called it a "de-evolution"
of the species,

and I think you're
prefiguring this, Lois.

Like Moses.

A prophet, as it were.

That is an interesting choice
of words for a psychiatrist.

A prophet?

Maybe.

Let's leave it. Let's let it be.

So, what's next for you

now that you're
healthy and retired?

"Healthy"? Mm.

I really want to...

get back to myself, you know?

I've built... built
up such a wall, and...

I don't let anyone in.

And I hate it.

I want to get back
to loving life

and loving people.

Maybe the best way
for me to do that

is to move out of town.

Stay in touch, Lois, please.

- Will do.
- Lois,

if I may make an observation.

Yes.

Your soul touches me.

And your soul touches me.

Thank you.

Maisie?

Oh, boy.

I'm gonna go to the shop.

For some of those nice
shortbread cookies

from Scotland you like.

Goody, goody, gumdrops.

Redd.

I can't tell what season it
is from what grows anymore.

Can you?

I mean, it's fall.

In the desert.

What is going on in the world?

In this town?

You know the old Groucho joke

about not wanting to belong to
any club that would have you?

Yeah.

That's me.

I don't want Marshall, Lois.

Not like this.

I mean, it's not...
it's not fair.

Goddamn it.

I mean, it was fine when
he was yours, you know?

I-I got him part-time.

I could be my own person,
go on long goddamn drives,

take off if I wanted to,

not get out of bed
if I didn't want to,

not have dinner if
I didn't want to,

not cook.

And a couple of times
a week, you know,

some little ritual
with him, company.

Company and martinis and
a fuck and an old movie.

And then the rest of the time,

I could... I could look
up for pottery online

or old Chanel Number 5 bottles

for the whole day, if I wanted.

The whole day.

But now he's just there.

Yeah.

That's what happens
with men his age, Redd.

They are always fucking there.

Molting.

I thought you loved him.

He's just become banal.

Well...

you can't bring
him back here, kid.

We have a policy...

no refunds, no returns.

I know. I know.

"Not your circus,
not your monkeys."

Ding, ding, ding.

But when I heard you say

that you were going someplace...

Tarpon Springs.

Yeah.

Why did you come see me, Redd?

I mean, out of all the people.

Don't you have any real friends?

Does anyone?

Anyway, I looked
up Tarpon Springs.

Little Victorian bungalows.

That's what I want.

Walk on the beach.

Warm Gulf waters.

Alone with my
thoughts, you know?

My silence.

Nobody else's noise
going around in my head,

least of all Marshall's.

Why do women think they need men

when all they need
is Tarpon Springs?

You want my advice?

Break up with him.

Rip the Band-Aid.

Don't look back.

Go find your silence.

Get you a goddamn dog, a cat.

Something to keep from
talking to the walls.

Hell, a parakeet.

Yeah.

Send me a postcard
from somewhere.

Why does "away" sound so good?

Hello?

I need you.

Megan?

Lois, I need you
to come down here.

What do you want?

I know you fucking
hate me right now,

but it's a family.

And I've been here all day,
and the media's found out.

And I need you to just
come down here, okay?

Text me the address.

It's the worst thing
I've ever seen.

Stop calling me.

I have no choice.

You-you-you do.

I'm done.

Do you understand?

This is your case.

You solve it.

What the fuck do you
think my life is?

Some episode of
Murder, She Wrote

where you can just call me
and I'll figure it all out?

Those days are done.

The tests came back on
what was in that kitchen.

Lois.

Could you come to
my motel, please?

Sulfur?

I don't want to talk about
it on the phone. Just come.

Someone read my medical reports.

- Huh?
- My dream reports.

Someone is painstakingly
trying to re-create them.

A copycat... a copycat
is using my dreams.

What? I don't understand.

They-they used your coma dreams

to slaughter an entire family
in the most horrific way?

- Yes.
- Why?

I saw it.

This is the case I was seeing.

Did I bring this
thing into being?

My... my dreams were...

on the other side.

They were... they were beyond.

I mean...

Did I bring this
monster back with me?

What are you saying?
I don't even...

I don't understand.

I need to wake up.

I need you to cut me.

Cut you?

Lois, what the fuck?

If you cut me and I bleed,

I'm here, you're here.

I'm not dead.

I need...

I need to see my blood.
I need to feel it.

Just a small cut.

Justin.

- What are you doing...
- Think I can't track you down?

Fucking bitch.

You leave me a fucking note?

Mm-mm.

Bitch!

No!

No. No.

Dumb bitch.

You want to kick me
out of my own home?

Give me an ultimatum?

Here's your fucking
note! Eat it!

Get the fuck off her, asshole.

Okay.

This why I'm out?

You finally turned gay?

Hey, I get it. I get it.

Stop. You will stop.

- Ah-ah.
- Megan.

No, baby. No, no, no.

You're the crazy
bitch, aren't you?

She talks about you.

- Lois.
- Did you put her up to it?

Leaving?

Hmm? Did you
empathize with her

because your life is so
totally, deeply fucked?

Oh, we know all about you, babe.

Megan, what is this?

You, turn around, put
your hands on the wall,

assume the position, asshole.

Just do what she says.

Don't shoot him. He's sick.

He's not well. He's sick.

It's a dream. It's not real.

No, no, no, it's all real, baby.

- It's a dream. It's not real.
- No, this is all real.

Yeah, you've been
awake. You're awake.

You've been awake
this whole time.

This whole time, girl,
it's been you awake.

It's a dream.

It's not real, Lois.

Empathy.

See, it's leaching out.

Studies show we're
hardening, numbing.

Lois, don't hurt him.

Don't fucking move.

You know you can't
kill me, don't you?

Want to bet?

You want to bet?

Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org