Original subtitles

♪ daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some Villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ a cloud of smoke And he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that cunning Mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch Out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

Why can't I help while Launchpad's on vacation?

I could learn your secrets.

Because you don't Have experience.

Who needs experience

When you've got ingenuity?

For I am the crimson quackette!

I've rigged this place With booby-traps.

Booby-traps? Hah!

You can't make a sandwich,

Let alone booby-traps.

[crash]

Gosalyn, get me out of here!

What's the magic word?

Grounded.

Recipes for freeze-gas...

Mix one part liquid nitrogen

To two parts gingivitis...

And finally one part...

Microphone.

Wha-what the...

So...

I'm being bugged, eh?

Let's find out what evil-doer

Is behind this one.

Is it a fiendish exploit,

A secret government plot...

Another episode of st. Canard's

most embarrassing home videos?

Ah-ha!

What?

I am busy enough without You getting in the way.

Am I getting through to you?

[snoring]

I wore her out.

She'll sleep well tonight.

Yoo-hoo, dad.

Time to get up.

Rise and shine!

Dad?

That's weird. He never gets up before noon...

Unless he's got a mission.

Wait a minute.

Dad's costume!

He'd never go on a Mission without it.

I smell trouble.

Gos, what are you doing?

Something's happened to dad.

I'm looking for clues.

What's this?

Our first clue.

It looks like a flute.

Aah!

He's been kidnapped

By the st. Canard jazz ensemble.

Hmm...

It's not a flute.

It's a blowgun.

[sniffs]

Hmm...

Rare loblolly pine,

Indigenous to northeast asia.

It's plastic wood grain.

But a remarkable facsimile Of loblolly pine.

Eewwww! What's that awful smell?

Must be knockout gas.

Eewww, It's your dad's cheap cologne.

See? Knockout gas.

Whoa!

Look at that, honk!

Dad's been kidnapped By termites.

Gosalyn...

They must be awfully Big termites.

Wow. That's it, honk! I've got it.

Bigfoot!

Bigfoot's got my dad!

There's no such thing.

That's something from a comic.

Comic? Hah!

It's a collector's edition From my bigfoot comic...

Research materials.

Look, gos, there's something Written on the blowgun.

Wow! Strange hieroglyphic symbols.

"If found, Please return to bigfoot tribe,

Great pacific northwest."

You can read bigfoot?

You were reading upside down.

They're clever to Print upside down.

There's only one thing!

The great pacific Northwest or bust.

How are we going to get there?

Auto-pilot coordinates set?

Check.

Ignition.

Check.

Flying ace scarves...

Check!

Let's go.

Aah!

Ejector seats...

Check.

How are we going to find dad?

[tv remote buzzes on]

bored with your job?

become a zeppelin Operator today!

remember, at dottie debson's Dirigible driving school,

we're full of hot air!

come in right now for A free test drive.

Turn left.

No. The other left.

Watch out for power lines!

[gasps]

Way to go.

Look out!

Aah! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

We must be millions Of miles from home.

Huh, gosalyn...

The st. Canard towers.

Or not.

Time for a new strategy.

We've got to find a way To the pacific northwest.

We'll buy bus or plane tickets.

We don't have money To buy a stamp.

Whoa, honk!

Major brainstorm coming through.

You make that sound Like a good thing.

Ow! Watch it!

Are you, "A ranger, Ranger station,

Somewhere in the Pacific northwest?"

I guess so.

Then this is for you...

$79.99 c.O.D.

Darn that book club.

Next time I'm waiting For the paperback!

Snake!

Aah!

Don't be such a baby.

It's a harmless twig.

[ssst] Snake!

Wait for me!

We're lost, gos.

Yeah.

What would darkwing duck do now?

I'd determine our Location by the north star

If it would hold still.

That's not the north star.

It's our zeppelin.

Thanks, copernicus.

Welcome.

According to this map,

We're standing in the center

Of the giant quicksand pit.

Quicksand! Quicksand!

Aah! Aah!

Don't worry, honk.

I've got this wired.

Crimson quackette to the rescue!

In a few short seconds, We'll be on our way.

To a horrible death By suffocation.

[grunting]

That was a close one.

Oh, it's no use, honk.

We'll never find dad.

We might as well admit defeat.

[sniffing]

That smell!

I'd know that stench anywhere.

It's dad's cologne.

No! No! Stop!

I can't take it!

It is my dad!

[drums beating]

Please!

No more!

Dad must be in Really big trouble.

[slapping]

They're treating him like a god.

After all our trouble.

Too much oregano.

Ah! He's not being massaged.

He's being marinated.

Wedding? I'm not invited?

Not married.

Marinated!

According to this,

They feed victims To a volcano god.

We've got to save him, honk!

Psst! Dad!

Psst!

Gosalyn?

Gosalyn!

Why are you here?

The crimson quackette To the rescue!

I brought your darkwing stuff.

Rescue me from what?

They're nuts about me here.

I'm descended from one of their gods... A handsome one.

That's the snack god,

The glutton god's favorite meal!

In other words, You're volcano chow, sir.

Pfft!

Nonsense!

I'll settle this right now.

Hubla hubla hubla!

Barcalounger!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Comfy chair to you, too, pal.

What's the...

Lowdown...

On the volcano...

Bub?

[teeth chattering]

Gah...

Some host.

Told you so!

Teh! I'll simply Frighten these primitives

With a display of My hi-tech prowess.

I am the terror that Flaps in the night.

Ahh! Oh! Ah!

I am the ingrown toenail In your party pumps!

I'll translate from my comic...

Dictionary.

Repeat after me. Here's what you do...

[whispering]

Humina humina humina!

Shama lama ding dong!

[whooping]

What'd I say?

"Don't feed me to the volcano. I'm unworthy."

Or "Bring on the warriors. I am unafraid."

I'm toast.

If you pass their tests,

They won't throw You in the volcano.

Humina humina humina!

E pluribus unum!

They accept your challenge.

You can either walk the Inescapable pit of death

Or fight the warrior named born With delicate bone structure.

Now you'll see real action.

No little girl stuff.

Honk-man, Catch her if she faints.

[bell rings]

Greetings, Born with delicate bone structure...

And fists the size Of casaba melons?

Suck gas, neanderthal!

Teh... Of course n-nothing personal.

[body slams]

I should have Cleaned the quicksand

From the gun.

We need a diversion!

Don't look at me.

Look at me! Look at me!

Be ascared, you superstitious...

[gulp]

Pri-primitives.

Wh-wh-wh-whoa!

Ooh.

Ooh.

Yeah, yeah.

The bigger they are...

[whooping]

Thanks, gos. I can handle the next test on my own.

Humina humina! Bebop a lula!

What'd he say?

It's time for the final test.

Oh! The daring denizen of decency

Faces the most infamous test

Of strength and endurance...

[gulps]

The dreaded dance marathon!

[samba playing]

It's no use, gos.

I can't make it.

Hang on, dad!

Yeow!

Hey! Whaah! Ooh!

Ah!

[crash]

Humina humina humina.

Dances with bigfoot!

Humina, humina, humina!

Humina, humina, humina!

Humina, humina, humina!

Humina, humina, humina!

Humina, humina...

You'd think he did it alone.

I deserve credit.

Me proud daughter of Dances with bigfoot.

I'm responsible for him Passing those tests.

I demand the same treatment.

Humina humina humina. Soup de jour.

Heh-heh. What's that mean?

You have passed the tests.

You are free to go.

Or... You have passed the tests,

Therefore you're Worthy of the volcano.

Remind me to thank you For helping daddy pass.

Any bright ideas, Crimson quackette?

The quackette defers To the father on this.

Boy, That's getting on my nerves.

I've got an idea!

Tell them it's a giant bird God demanding our freedom.

Humina humina humina.

Topo giggio.

[muttering]

What are they saying?

They can't see it.

The zeppelin's in the way.

Aah!

Hang on, kids!

So...

This is what a volcano Looks like inside.

What a dump.

Cool lava, huh?

Did you say "Lava?"

Aah!

I'll just have to find A way to get to the top.

Before or after We're boiled alive?

Hold on. I'll take us up!

I must center myself,

Focusing on the teachings Of tibetan yogis

I learned as a lad.

Forget the yogi part.

I've an idea.

I must concentrate on my mantra.

A-e-I-o-u...

And sometimes "Y"...

A-e-I-o-u...

Gos, what are you doing?

Don't worry. I've got a plan.

I'll save us.

My body has become One with the other.

I am whole.

I am free.

Relax, honk-meister.

I'm an expert at Slingshot technology.

So, the yogi tells me,

"Beetlenut, Snatch the pebbles from my hand."

Then I say,

"Who you calling a Beetlenut, bonehead?"

That was the Beginning of the end.

Ready?

1... 2... 3!

Shouldn't my burden Be lighter by now?

Yeah! Told you that Yogi crud worked, gos.

[rumbling]

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Blah!

[shouting]

Typical!

The volcano misses One lousy meal,

And they rampage.

Head for the lake!

Yikes!

Jump on my shoulders.

Ow! Thanks, sweetie.

Ready?

Uh-1... 2...

Uh-1... 2... 3... 4!

Those murray arthur fire Dance lessons came in handy.

Wow! That was major cool!

You didn't even flinch!

It was nothing. Heh heh.

Of course I am a professional.

Ahh!

Looks like we're home free!

Persistent little Squirts, aren't they?

Pull over to that bush!

You should've done That before leaving.

According to my calculations,

Behind that bush we'll find...

The thunderquack!

The auto-pilot worked.

Hah! Let's see them catch us now!

[engine starts]

[engine dies]

[grumbling]

It was fun working Together, huh?

Yeah.

We won't hear from them.

We taught them a lesson.

Yeah. I doubt they'll be sacrificing

Any totem pole Look-a-likes for a while!

Humina humina humina.

Clod god!