Original subtitles

♪ daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some Villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ a cloud of smoke And he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that cunning Mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch Out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

Oh! I can't believe this.

What? Lose another Game of whiffle boy?

The daily crime report.

It's the worst report I've ever seen.

A regular crime wave?

I wish.

There's hasn't been One crime all day.

Isn't that good?

Not for a crimefighter.

Without a crime to fight, I'm...

I'm doodly-squat.

There must be a crime somewhere.

I dunno, d.W.

The city looks real quiet.

And I was just reading,

"It's a quiet town That calms you down."

"Stress-busters... How to relax in a hurry."

Sounds like a work of genius.

Wanna read it?

Don't be ridiculous.

I'm perfectly relaxed.

Let's find a crime...

Any crime, big Crime, little crime.

Broken glass in front of Gombert's candy store.

Aha. Aha.

Aha.

Unless I miss my guess,

A robbery has taken place here.

Who did this dastardly deed?

A cowboy and an indian.

What ever happened to The common criminal?

Say, for someone who's Just been robbed,

You seem awfully calm.

Well, you know, What happens, happens.

[snoring]

[snoring]

stress-busters says.

To accept the things You cannot change.

Or is that change the Things you can't accept?

I'm only interested In the change

Stolen from that cash register.

Whoa! Whoa!

Waah-hoo!

Waah-waah-waah!

[crash]

Hey, good idea, d.W.

These spilled gumballs Oughta lead us to the crooks.

Ahem.

Excuse me.

Were you robbed by a Cowboy and an indian?

A cowboy and an indian?

Don't be silly.

It was two pirates.

Two pirates? Of course.

And they didn't rob us.

They just wanted to try this New kind of bowling with...

A pack of wild panthers.

A pack of wild panthers?

So we said okey-dokey.

Did you hear that, launchpad?

They said okey-dokey.

Shh.

What do you mean, shh?

They hate loud noises.

They?

[growling]

Nice kitties.

Pretty kitties.

Cowboys and indians Committing candy crimes?

Pirates playing with panthers?

Two circus clowns creating chaos

Across the city.

This case gets Crazier and crazier.

To be or not?

I guess that's the question.

Anon, we seize the Stage to here perform

A play to lift your Hearts and make them warm.

Quackerjack, This dressing up in costumes

Is getting boring.

Can't we do something A little more shocking?

Shush, megavolt.

You'll spoil my little drama.

Strange. The trail led right Into the shubird theater.

But, ere our fine Amusement may commence,

We must collect your Dollars and your cents.

Look. Those aren't actors.

It's that crazed Toymaker, quackerjack,

And his supercharged Pal, megavolt.

Of course.

They're behind this Cockamamie crime wave.

Hold it right there, You thieving thespians.

The citizens of st. Canard won't Stand for this sort of treatment!

We don't mind.

What's with you people?

The city's being robbed blind,

And you act like Nothing's happening?

So, what's your point?

Not so fast, evildoers.

My, my. Aren't we in a huff.

Mr. Banana-brain says relax, max.

Would everyone please Stop telling me to relax?

I am relaxed.

I... Am... Relaxed!

Oopsy.

You really know how to bring Down the house, dipwing.

I'll bring you down.

Another electrifying Performance, megavolt.

Hey, come back here, you...

[cough cough]

Uh-oh. D.W.

Looks like they got away.

And it's all my fault.

I overreacted.

Oh. A crimefighter Should remain calm

At all times.

Launchpad, the book.

stress-busters. chapter one.

"The first step to tranquillity Is plenty of exercise..."

and you can't beat A nice peaceful jog.

yes, nothing like a brisk jaunt.

through the neighborhood.

to chase those cares away.

and for true relaxation,

a gentle massage Will work wonders.

ahh. Just feel that tension.

being squeezed right out of you.

proper medication techniques.

can open up shining New vistas of serenity.

simply close your eyes.

and focus on a restful image,

such as a tropical Island or a sunset.

any calming image Will do nicely.

a field of wind-swept flowers,

a mountain stream.

He must be reading Chapter seven,

"Redecorating for relaxation."

He doesn't look so relaxed.

Ha ha ha ha! Shh. Shh.

It's a fly. Ha ha!

Got him!

Dad, stop!

He-yah!

Ouch. Ouch.

Singed but triumphant.

[fly buzzes]

Maybe it's time

That we read chapter 12, d.W...

"Seeking professional help."

Vat a tense little puppy you Are, no?

Well, we can help you.

I am dr. Heeby.

I am dr. Jeeby.

Say, You two look awfully familiar.

ach! you're having deja vu.

This could be serious.

ja, ja, ja.

Ve must first learn

Vat is making you so tense.

Perhaps it's the violence Of modern society, huh?

Ve need to get him in touch

mit his inner child self.

Here. Your reaction to This simple child's toy

Vill help us to Underschtand your problem.

[pop goes the weasel plays]

Now ve see vat is eating you.

Eating you. Ha ha ha!

[panting]

Definitely tense.

You need to calm down.

I know vat vould fix Him, dr. Heeby.

He needs a little jolt From our relaxatron.

Relaxatron?

Of course.

You're the ones turning Everyone into zombies.

You're quackerjack and megavolt.

You got it, banana-beak.

Hey, what are you...

Let me go.

And guess who's next to get Fried, clyde?

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ha ha ha!

It's playtime!

Whoa. Must be some new Relaxation technique.

Keen gear! How'd you get so wiggly?

special...

news bulletin.

two giant pumpkins Snuck into the museum.

and forcibly borrowed Priceless egyptian stuff.

no big deal, really.

Gee, d.W. Giant pumpkins!

That must be quackerjack and Megavolt in costume again.

They're running the Stress-free clinic.

Quackerjack and Megavolt run the clinic?

Yeah. They gave me This waddleman radio.

Just the thing to Help you relax.

I've got something To help you unrelax

So you can clobber those crooks.

Let's get mischievous!

He hates me doing this.

Ooh! Now I'm mad!

See?

Whew! For a second there,

I thought I needed New batteries.

[humming]

Oh!

Ta-da!

It's the great toy pyramid!

A colossal tribute to st. Canard's new law...

The law of fun!

Got that right, dwight.

Now that everybody's So carefree,

We'll have all the fun we want.

I am the terror...

Uh... And then something About flappin', right?

Right. Say something to Strike fear in their hearts.

Wow. Cool hats.

Dad, they're the bad guys.

You foil 'em, not flatter 'em!

Ooh, getting upset, young lady?

We know how to cure that.

Meet mr. Relaxatron!

Yipe! Yipe!

Drat! My battery's low.

Oh, good going, sparky.

Don't call me sparky!

O.K., you asked for it.

Suck gas, evildoers!

Eew!

Mmm! Cajun-sytle pickle relish.

Hah! C'mon, Let's go wreak some havoc...

Sparky.

Don't call me sparky!

You put relish in the gas gun?

Sure. Even a relaxed crimefighter

Has to be prepared.

Prepared for what?

A little snack.

Behold.

Krazy kevin's klassic Kocktail wienies.

Yay! My favorite!

Ohh!

Groovy!

Fabulous!

What are you waiting For, sparky?

Hurry up and recharge Your battery!

Don't call me sparky!

Wow. I needed that.

I'm glad you got such a charge,

Because you destroyed Mr. Relaxatron!

Oh, terrific. A blackout.

How are we supposed to see?

Why doncha light a Candle, randall?

That's it! Thanks, mr. Banana-brain.

Ding, ding, ding!

[imitating siren]

There. Now we can see.

Nice shootin', quackie!

But don't fire Engines spray water?

No. Then they'd be water engines.

Do we have one? I think we need it.

Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!

Oh... Uh... Don't worry. It'll burn itself out.

Aah!

Aah!

Great. I see it in the history books...

"Hero twiddles, while st. Canard burns."

I suppose this Could be a problem.

That wasn't so bad.

It's darkwing duck!

We're saved!

Oh, quick, do something!

No problemo.

Yay! Yay!

If there's one thing A fire's good for,

It's toasting krazy kevin's Klassic kocktail wienies.

You really oughta try one.

You'll love 'em.

Mmm-mmm-mmm!

Ooh! Aah! Ooh!

Ooh! Ahh! Ooh!

Mmm-mmm!

We're getting our Behinds barbecued,

And darkwing diner Is roasting wienies!

We're supposed to Be the crazy ones.

You turned his brain Into sponge cake, jake.

Aah!

I'm really glad everyone's Having such a good time.

Nobody snuffed the fire?

Snuff the fire?

Of course.

Why didn't you think of that?

[megavolt] One fire going out.

Ta-da!

Megavolt... Superhero!

Ta-da!

Megavolt... Superfool!

Yeow!

Hey, that's not funny.

Does anybody have A boat on them?

Well, sure.

Why do you ask?

Whoa! I gotta get me one Of these rubber duckies.

Hey, wait for us!

Trouble!

Aah!

Aah!

Oh, a waterfall.

How relaxing.

You've relaxed enough.

Snap out of it!

Hey! I'll short out!

Short out? That's it!

Have a nice day.

What? Where? Who? When? Sometimes why.

Whoa!

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Whoop!

Aha!

The st. Canard waterworks!

Yaah! Death by jacuzzi!

All we wanted was some fun.

Good. The fun has begun.

Hand me those toy Teeth, quackerjack.

Be careful. I just brushed them.

I'll attach the teeth to Your power cord, megsie,

And voila!

Yippee-kai-ai!

Look up there! The shut-off valve!

Launchpad, do you have Your stress-busters book?

Here, d.W., But this is no time to relax.

So who's gonna relax?

What do you know? It worked.

But megavolt and quackerjack Are getting away.

Always have several Rubber duckies.

Bye-bye, pallies!

I gotta leave, steve!

No problem. This is a job for...

Krazy kevin's kocktail wienies!

Not the wienies again, dad.

Nope. The toothpick.

Well, I guess we can all relax now.

As I was saying...

Too bad you used all those Klassic kocktail wienies.

They make the Perfect picnic snack.

Ahh! What a life!

See, dad, even you can relax.

You just gotta get Your mind off crime.

You're right, gos.

Aha! A litterbug!

It's a job for...

Dad...

Heh heh. A job for...

They city's cleanup crew.

"Let's zap everyone in The city," you said.

"Let's dress up like pirates."

Hey, why doncha just Relax, sparky?

Don't call me sparky, And I am relaxed!

I... Am... Re... Laxed!

Aah!