Original subtitles

♪ daring duck of mystery ♪

♪ champion of right ♪

♪ swoops out of the shadows ♪

♪ darkwing of the night ♪

♪ somewhere some Villain schemes ♪

♪ but his number's up ♪

3, 2, 1!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous.

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Darkwing, darkwing duck!

♪ a cloud of smoke And he appears ♪

♪ the master of surprise ♪

♪ who's that cunning Mind behind ♪

♪ the shadowy disguise ♪

♪ nobody knows for sure ♪

♪ the bad guys are out of luck ♪

♪ here comes ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Look out!

♪ when there's trouble You call d.W. ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪

Let's get dangerous!

♪ darkwing duck ♪

♪ you better watch Out, you bad boys ♪

♪ darkwing duck ♪♪

so, how do you want to Go, darkwing?

regular or extra crispy?

what about peacefully...

in my sleep at an old age.

help! Help!

somebody please help me!

Hold it!

I can't believe this.

It's... This is...

It's gripping, isn't it?

We at the awesome Comic book corp.

Have the very highest hopes

For this issue.

Frankly, mr. Darkwing,

We smell a blockbuster hit.

Oh, it's not hard to Smell this thing, sir.

Because it stinks!

Is there something Wrong with it?

Wrong? Oh, no, nothing's wrong,

Except absolutely everything!

This thing has nothing To do with reality!

We, perhaps, Took some dramatic license.

Merely to humanize the Character, you understand.

Your dramatic license...

It's just been revoked!

We thought you might Seem too courageous,

Too daring, And too larger than life.

Well, of course!

That's what a hero is.

This thing would ruin me.

I'd be a laughing stock.

No villain would Cower before me again.

Little children All over the world

Will be reading this.

How can they pattern Their lives after me

If they think I'm a coward?

If you're gonna do a comic Book based on my life,

You're gonna do it right!

There's only one person I Trust with a job like this...

And that's me.

Come on, dad. I want to see it.

Nobody sees that garbage Until I can fix it.

Maybe we can help you, d.W.

You can help by Leaving me alone.

I'm gonna need complete Concentration to save this fiasco,

Because we're looking At a total rewrite here.

From page 1, word 1.

Fortunately, I'm just the one with the honesty

To give it the gritty Realism it needs.

In a word, darkwing duck was...

Hmmm, does fenominal Have one "F" or two?

The gloriously perfect Crime fighter...

The extraordinarily Magnificent crime fighter?

Painfully handsome?

Ah, so many adjectives, So little time.

Darkwing duck arrived To investigate

The mysterious disappearance Of safety inspector #16.

ah, ha. He was obviously blown Through his bathroom wall.

by some unknown force.

the safety inspector Had an accident?

but they're usually so careful.

no, launchpad. This was no accident.

hmmm, there's something Not quite right.

with this hair dryer.

well, no wonder, d.W., It's not plugged in.

The hero began by...

launchpad, I believe this Appliance was tampered with.

And then other mysterious Accidents occurred

Later that evening,

A top-ranking official was Attacked by a toaster oven.

launchpad, There's only one person.

capable of creating all These electrical disasters,

and that's my villainous Archrival, megavolt.

[ tapping ]

get this engine checked. It's knocking.

I don't remember Any engine knocking.

Oh, the door.

I thought some lemonade

Might get the creative Juices flowing.

Thank you, dear.

Molding a masterpiece does dry

the throat!

What's in this?!!

Just lemons, dad.

Unless those were jalapeños

Must have been jalapeños

Toaster oven.

This is about as exciting As watching cement dry.

I guess he's just too Close to the material.

Having run out of food on mars,

The giant flesh-eating Slug monster

Has come to earth to satisfy Its gruesome appetite.

look out, darkwing! A giant slug monster from mars!

no, launchpad, it's a giant Flesh-eating slug monster from mars!

megavolt will just have to wait.

while I save the planet From this menace.

heyaaa!

heh heh heh.

what a way to go!

done in by a plain Ol' garden pest.

you've given me an idea.

I'll be right back.

gotta a couple of bucks on you?

what does a slug fear most?

common household salt.

don't I have some change coming?

sorry I didn't get a receipt.

aooorrr!

one order of escargot to go.

now to take care of megavolt!

Oh, boy. This is writing.

What'll I put in next?

Maybe a zombie with a huge...

I hate to interrupt,

But what are you doing?!!

I'd like to chat, But my bike's double parked.

I have to find some place Where I won't be disturbed.

Now to get my train of Thought back on track.

unless I miss my guess,

that's the work of Megavolt himself.

he's playing with The city power lines.

so he's pillaging the Daylight savings and loan, eh?

it's all over, megavolt!

I'm putting you behind Bars in a dry cell.

over my dead batteries!

eat amperes, duck!

haven't you heard that Crime doesn't pay?

they left me no choice.

just because I missed Paying a power bill or two,

they threatened to shut me off.

in the middle of the Greatest scheme of my career.

that'd be just like 'em.

I'll stop that high-voltage Low-life if it's...

d.W.?

what is it, launchpad?

Do you know much about Washing machines?

What???

If I dropped a box Of soap in the washer

And the lid was stuck shut With the thing on high,

What would happen?

I suppose it might explode In a mountain of suds.

[ explosion ]

I was afraid of that.

Stay here and don't Let anybody see that.

That d.W.'s really something.

Starring in his own comic book,

Just like mickey mouse.

I always liked those wild Western comic books myself.

You never see those anymore.

Something like death valley duck...

Now that'd be great.

well, it's that renegade Big chief power bill.

say, sidekick, Do I sound different to you?

nope, I reckon you sho 'nuff sound same as ever.

I guess it was just My imagination.

ya might as well give up,

ya yellar bellied sidewinder.

we'll be many moons over miami Before big chief gives up.

the brave's pretty Brave for a coward.

are you a-coming peaceful like,

or am I...

what is this? Custard's last stand?

that's my assistant, Little running gag.

surrender, big chief.

you're surrounded by an Army of 12,000 soldiers.

that's an old military Ploy we call lying.

duck born with silver Spoon in mouth.

speak with forked tongue.

if you can dish it Out, I can take it.

much more of this and I'll Have a full place setting.

I'm givin' you one Kilowatt hour to...

but, considering the shoddy Treatment your people have received,

perhaps we could drop The whole matter, huh?

Ooh, aaah!

Are you reading my comic book?

Who? Me?

Yaaa!

I've got to have some privacy.

Where was I? Oh, yeah...

I'd just chased megavolt to The power company building,

Where I was going To finish him off...

And why am I wearing A cowboy hat?

Must have been a typo.

this is it, megavolt.

I'm pulling the plug on you.

that's doubtful, duck.

there's no stopping The unstoppable.

because I've just perfected my New improved remote control.

I can now vary the electric Company's output at will.

with controlled power surges,

I can transform all Household appliances.

into soldiers of My private army.

going up?

this is what I call An express elevator.

you sure you know how To run this thing?

going down.

I hope you have Elevator insurance.

yaaaaa!

a 14-mile drop at The speed of light...

we could be in for A rough landing.

yaaaaa!

Yaaaaa!

Yahoo, mr. Mallard.

Oh, no. Not that saccharin suburbanite.

I've been looking All over for you.

Yes, mrs. Muddlefoot?

Do you have some ground Cinnamon we could borrow?

Did hemingway have this problem?

Of course not.

He didn't live next Door to the muddlefoots.

I'll get you a Whole cinnamon tree.

Thanks you, But a half a cup will do.

Oh. And what's this?

Why, it's a comic book.

Well, how darling.

Uh! Oh, dear me.

My stars! Such violence!

With reading material like this

It's no wonder so Many children grow up

To be cruel dictators.

Now, how can I make this A little less deplorable

And a little more adorable?

I know... It was a Beautiful spring morning...

And little mr. Bunny was As happy as could be.

He happily hip-hopped Up to robin redbreast

And then...

would you mind Clearing out of here?

I'd like to be alone.

My goodness, no. He didn't say that.

The little mr. Bunny turned To the birdie and said...

you don't want to make me Lose my temper, do you?

No. No, He didn't say that either.

Oh, why, you're back.

And so soon.

I guess there's only one Place I won't be disturbed.

At last, I can finish this thing in peace.

luckily we landed Softly in this...

say, l.P., where are we anyway?

you've got me, But it sure is cute.

we have to find Megavolt before...

I may have to hurt that guy.

ah, don't be too hard on Him, d.W.

he's just a...

I know, I know, I know.

he's just a little running gag.

come on. We have to defuse megavolt.

they call me mad. They call me insane.

all right, But I'm running things now.

your mad scheme will never work,

you ego-maniacal electron.

for your information, It already has.

I was on my way over here To pay my power bill,

after borrowing Money from the bank,

then I thought, hey, Why not just take over the place?

now, if you'll excuse me,

I have a city to dominate.

I did it!

and took a good 17 inches off My waistline in the process.

now to short circuit That lunatic.

come on, launchpad. Let's get dangerous!

do we have to get that Dangerous, d.W.?

couldn't we just Take the stairs?

the whole city is mine.

and to think I never even Finished reform school.

you again!

that's far enough, Sparkplug breath!

give me that. It's private property.

that a boy, darkwing. Get 'em.

show 'em who's...

oooh whooo heeee!

ah, my masterpiece!

my baby!

Oh, my sweet darling. You're the apple of my eye.

Ooh, what's this?

A comic book?

A comic book starring Darkwing duck?

What's the world coming to?

No! No! This is wrong! All wrong!

And in definite need of repair.

Ok. As darkwing duck

And the misunderstood Genius, megavolt,

Struggle for the remote Control device...

I've had all I'm gonna Take from you, duck.

behold! I'm the new, the improved,

mega, maximum mondo megavolt!

and you, duck, are toast.

it would appear that Our best hope would be.

a tactical retreat!

don't worry, launchpad.

megavolt may have superior size,

he may have superior power,

but I have superior intellect.

then again, Let's not underemphasize power.

I was wondering what Happened to you.

we're safe down here, launchpad.

he's too big to fit in.

Yaaaa!

Why can't I get a break?

This thing's due tomorrow.

Even the wind's against me.

This place looks familiar.

At last, I can tell the story The way it should've happened.

Tampering with my Masterpiece, eh?

Oooh! Don't you know how to knock?

Your little game is over, You revolting revisionist.

Give it back so I can finish the Scene where I finish you off.

Wrong! In the last scene, I'm gonna finish you off.

Sorry, pal. This thing's reality-based.

You don't stand a Chance against me.

That's what you think, You hackneyed hack.

In this edition, I'm ten times bigger and more powerful.

No way! Let me see that!

Where?

Right there.

What?! What kind of science Fiction are you trying to write?

If anything, You're to be 20 times smaller.

what do you think you're doing?

I'm bigger.

have it your way. I can beat you No matter what size shoe you wear.

saved by my faithful Pet, super bunny.

wait a minute...

since when do I have a Faithful pet named super bunny?

it's a little early for easter.

isn't it?

listen, super b.,

there's only room for one Hero in this comic book,

and I got the job.

so beat it!

never send a bunny To do a duck's job.

in here, d.W.!

good going, launchpad. You've...

gotten us into an Even bigger jam.

I've heard of Eating the scenery,

but this is ridiculous.

strange? Yes. But I'm not one to Look a gift horse in the mouth.

hiyo, silver. Away!

that's cheating.

whoa, silver.

all right, duck, This is gonna be your final scene.

looks like he's got us this Time, d.W.

ha! I don't know the meaning Of the word defeat, launchpad.

aha. Just what we need right now...

a refreshing cup of coffee.

push, launchpad.

taste java, battery brain.

aaaaah! I've been percolated!

That's not fair.

How come you get to win?

Because it's my comic book.

I'd love to chew the fat, babe,

But I'm late for a date With comic book immortality.

See you in the funny Papers, pal.

Ah, well...

Yes?

I hate it!

No.

Yes.

I'm also repelled and repulsed, Reviled and revolted by it.

I loathe and abhor it.

Not to mention despising And detesting it.

However...

However?

However, I am intrigued By the rabbit character

And plan to spin off A new comic book...

the adventures of super bunny.

B-b-b-bu-bunny!

R-r-ra-rabbit!

Of all the...

Sir, I have only one Response to this development.

[ whistles ]

Come, come, little running gag.

Let's see if we can sell This epic to disney.

Maybe they'll make a Tv series out of it.