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You ever think about trying to unfuck your life?

Yeah, maybe not.

But I have.

This is how I did it.

Yeah.

Where the fuck are my matches?

Some families have a long line of dentists or lawyers.

We had a long line of felons.

Shit. All right.

- Try it your way. - Your dumb-ass twin gonna do his trick?

Call him that again,

I'll kick a board up your ass!

From a stepladder, you might.

That is Uncle Crabcake.

The genius drowned a few years later after getting his dick stuck in a pool drain.

Shit. Chair's in the way!

The handsome fella, that's me.

Got it?

The big ugly one is my twin brother Moke.

- Got it? - Please don't do that, man.

It is super frustrating.

- Now? - Shut--

We were partners in crime.

I had the plans, he had the hands.

Fuck yeah.

What do they say?

Do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life?

Well, I love this.

Moke? Ah, not so much.

Somebody shooting out there?

They're working on a little baby safe,

thinking they're gonna be some big-time juggers.

Moke already peeled it.

He did not.

Thirty-eight bucks, shithead.

Tradecraft.

Good for you, son.

Where's Mom?

She got some work with Glenn, but she'll be back.

Here, keep this moving, honey.

She gonna miss Thanksgiving again?

She'll be here soon.

How's that turkey, Mama?

Yeah!

Coming in hot like Earnhardt, baby!

What the hell?

Oh, shit! Shit.

Where the hell's my stash at?

Hot dang, we did it, baby!

Heck yes, we did!

I'm gonna fuck you like we're millionaires, 'cause we are, baby.

- Whoo! Hey, big guy. - Oh! There's my handsome guys.

That's Mom and her boyfriend Glenn.

Glenn was cool as shit.

Oh, God. Oh, I'm bleeding out.

Nana, did you smoke my ganja?

Oh, I found it! Oh, good, I found it.

Hey, hey, come on. Don't be scared, Moke.

You keep that gravy moving.

Honey, control the weapon!

Muck! Get out of the way!

- Fuckin' A. - This is my quality shit.

- Get out of the way. - Can I get a plate, Gamma?

- Greens? - No, ma'am, just the bird.

Mom.

Right. Um...

So...

I'm gonna miss this Thanksgiving.

I know you don't like it. I don't like it.

In fact, I think it fucking sucks.

But where you going?

- Pretty far, I guess. - Ought to hurry, hon.

- Thanks, Mama. Come on. - Whoa, they got me, baby!

Baby, let's go.

- Oh, my plate. My plate. - Babe, forget the fucking plate.

- Yeah, that looks good. Okay. - You don't need the fucking turkey.

- Let's go. - Happy Christmas, everybody.

We're going a lot farther than Tijuana.

- Come on. - Ah-ha, yeah, yeah.

- Motherfuckin' tequila time. - Shit.

Jady, Moke, come here a minute.

You listening?

Now, you need to take care of him,

and you need to take care of him.

That is the whole deal now.

- Okay? - Ándale, baby.

All right, come here.

Okay.

- Oh, shit. - Love you, Ma.

Okay. All right. Okay.

You could take us with you.

Oh, it's cold.

I couldn't use you.

Oh, no, I left my turkey on the car!

Forget the turkey, baby.

Our family,

not so big on education.

More of a learn-by-doing arrangement.

And me and Moke, we learned from the very best.

Come on, eat my ass, fuckers!

Please go easy, baby. I'm infirm.

Hey, we got 'em. We got 'em. It's okay.

It's okay. You're not bleeding even anymore.

Don't worry, honeybee. I'll stash the goods.

Huh?

They're beautiful.

- They're so fucking beautiful. - Babe, what are you doing?

Oh, no, no, no!

♪ I've been caught stealing ♪

♪ Once when I was five ♪

♪ I enjoy stealing ♪

♪ It's just as simple as that ♪

♪ Oh, well, it's just a simple fact ♪

♪ When I want something ♪

♪ Man, I don't wanna pay for it ♪

♪ Now, I walk right ♪

♪ Through the door ♪

♪ And I walked right through the door ♪

♪ Hey, all right ♪

♪ If I get by ♪

♪ It's mine ♪

♪ Mine all mine ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Sat around the pile ♪

♪ Sat and laughed ♪

♪ Sat and laughed and waved 'em into the air ♪

♪ And we did it ♪

♪ Just like that ♪

♪ When we want something ♪

♪ Man, we don't want to pay for it ♪

♪ We walk right ♪

♪ Through the door ♪

♪ Walk right through the door ♪

Now, I could've kept pulling jobs forever,

but when you work with family, it sometimes gets complicated.

Relax, Moke. This is the last one.

Last one? You've been saying that since we were 12.

Hey, look at me.

If you don't want to do it, don't do it.

Same as always.

Yeah, what are you gonna do if I don't?

I don't know, case solo jobs

or get somebody else who's not such a wet blanket all the time.

Don't worry about me.

I'm not worrying about you. I'm just wondering.

God, Mom would be so bummed with you right now.

What fucking mom?

Hey! Did it ever occur to you

that maybe she was doing the best she could?

Did it ever occur to you how different things could've been for us?

- Huh? - No, it didn't.

And I can't believe you, with this negative shit right now right before work.

- You asked me. - "You asked me."

Ah. Fuck.

You got this. Tension's right there, bro.

Shut the fuck up.

Go start the van.

- What? - Go start the van.

"Go start the van." What am I, valet?

Ooh.

All right, kid.

Turn around.

Slow.

Please don't be alarmed, sir.

I'm the new custodian here.

Excuse me, sir?

Come on, let's go!

Sorry.

Careful. Use the handrail.

- It's slick. - I'm using it!

Freeze!

Let me see them hands! Drop the bag!

Okay, I'll admit it. We probably should've

stayed home that night, had some soup, went to bed early.

"Night, Moke. Night, Jady. Sweet dreams."

I don't know. Whatever normal people do.

Oh, fuck.

Turn around slowly!

Aw, fuck.

Get on the ground! Onto your knees!

You only got two options when you screw up your life.

You can say "Fuck it."

Or, like I said, you can unfuck it.

And that's what I was going to do.

One for the road?

Aw, that's nice of you, Muzzy.

You did always have the softest lips.

But I'm late, you know?

Still want to know how you sprung for an early bounce.

Good behavior is all.

You here to walk me out, Farful?

Still "Officer Farful" until I do.

Hey, before I forget,

could I get your dad's address?

I really want to send him a fruit basket.

No need for that.

Courts review cases all the time.

They're just... juggling bunks.

I really appreciate you putting a good word for me, Officer Farful.

I won't let you down.

Would you go and make sure that Mr. Munger's paperwork

is sorted out, please?

- Mm-hmm. - Thank you.

Seems like a nice guy. Eh.

Are you fucking with me?

"I won't let you down."

You giving me a little poke-poke?

Huh?

No, I am not giving you a poke-poke.

Do not fuck with me or I will cleave your ass in half!

You'll be back in here before you're even off the lot.

It's just a phone call.

I know where I stand.

Yeah.

And remember, you have some emeralds to deliver.

I'll stay in touch.

Don't get me wrong, running three restaurants is great,

but I think I'm more, like, regional manager material.

I mean, I could be making, like, 125,000--

- Hey, babe, you'll get the party platter? - I'm sorry, say what?

The party platter.

Uh, yep. And sides.

- And ice, please. - Ice.

- Yep. - But not the crushed kind.

My dad hates the crushed ice 'cause it melts too fast.

Copy that. Uh, cubes, not crushed.

Cubes, cubes.

I hate that I'm nervous.

That he makes me nervous, like our house is a report card.

Abs, it's gonna be fine. We're gonna do this together.

And you'll talk to Swofford?

Yeah, Daryl got a raise after nine months.

I've been there a year. I'm good. I'm good.

Fired?

Uh, yes. Thank you, Daryl.

Mm-hmm.

I don't--

We just bought a house. We're having a kid.

I mean, in-insurance? I don't understand. Who called?

Uh, it's the Bureau of, uh...

it was the Labor and Employment Bureau

doing a survey on prior offenders in food service.

You... you didn't disclose your records when you applied.

I was gonna get a party platter.

You can still do that.

You just won't get the employee discount 'cause...

you don't work here anymore.

Okay.

I wanted to talk to you about...

...maybe being promoted.

And I'm telling you, I thought it was "Peace Corpse,"

- and I was gonna be saving dead people. - Peace Corps.

Oh, my God, you ordered a clown.

- Hi. - Nice shirt, bro.

You quit?

Yeah.

Good for you, man.

It's not for me.

- She seems great. - She is great.

Listen, um...

Back then, you know,

I ta-- I talked with Freddie Unk at the legal clinic, and...

...he suggested I just stay away from the trial.

Like, don't get near it.

Hmm.

He also say don't visit

or don't call?

I mean, you ghosted me, man.

How'd you cut your bid?

There's a crooked screw in there named Farful. His dad's a judge.

Let's just say I cut a low-key deal to

vacate my conviction.

What'd you do?

Bought a score from a lifer,

pitched Farful 50% if he could tap his dad for me.

It's a low-key job.

Garment shop. Cash on site.

Old floor safe.

You could rip that open like wet bread.

No.

Like I said, low-key.

Look, here's what's up.

I'm having a housewarming- slash-baby-shower-type deal today,

and you can have barbecue or ice cream,

whatever it is you want, and then just go on your way,

and don't ever mention this crazy shit to me again.

But our end would be low seven.

I'm not that guy anymore.

But I don't want to do it without you.

I guess you can't do it, then.

Hey.

Baby, look at you.

- You're radiant. - Hi. - Dr. Jacobson.

- Michael. - How's the hotel?

It's... sufficient.

- All right. - All right.

Okay.

Avery.

So, Mike's ears were, like, so messed up as a kid,

he was basically deaf until he was about ten years old,

that he couldn't pronounce "J.T.," so he said "Jady."

Like, "Jady."

And I couldn't say "Mike,"

so I said "Moke," but that's, you know, just because I'm lazy.

Moke?

How have I never heard about this?

Ashamed of his past.

Oh, come on, Moke, I didn't tell 'em about the goblin mask

and the coins and the police.

Really?

The fuck!

'Sup?

'Sup?

So we're like brothers-in-laws-in-laws.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm adopted, though.

That's cool, man. That's cool.

- You want to get high? - Yep.

Oh, that's pretty great qual-- that's-- Yes.

What? [chuckles] Shut up.

These birds around here, man.

You're not just providing for yourself anymore, Michael.

A-A college education can run a million plus these days.

Mm.

Stop, man.

- No, dude. - No, helicopters are not cool.

- Avery Stuart Jacobson! - Oh, let me be alive!

Oh, Moke, he's recycling.

Fuckin'--

I'm gonna kick your ass, you stupid stoner!

Run for the mountains, brother-in-law!

- Seriously, you guys? - So much anger!

You're ruining my baby shower!

Trying to look impressive, and you're embarrassing me!

I'm so high right now.

It's like wrestling a jelly doughnut!

That was the opposite of what I need right now.

I'm sorry. I overreacted.

It's why-why I didn't want him to stay.

Oh, you're going with this is my fault? That's your strategy?

No, I just...

Jady wasn't in the Peace Corps.

No shit, babe.

No tan, soft hands, stick and poke on his neck?

What was he locked up for?

Burglary.

And... assault.

- Look, he and I, years ago-- - Hey. I know.

You went over the speed limit a bit. So did I.

Neither of us were perfect, but we can be better now.

For each other.

And for Blueberry.

For Blueberry, yeah.

She does half the shit I did, she's going to, like, military school.

For nuns.

Work it out with Jady.

Or don't.

Just don't bring this fucked-up energy to the holiday.

Boo.

Where is your phone?

Your phone now?

Where's the phone?

Thank you.

So, what's up? You don't like your new phone?

I-I li-- I like it. Huh?

So, how come it's not on ya, huh?

- Where'd you go? - Nowhere.

Come on, Farful. I just got some grub.

Eh.

From now on, this stays with you.

And when I say, "Call me," I want you to think of that like...

like a little doggie would when he hears me say, "Heel."

And I don't mean at some point. I don't mean in the future.

What I do mean is, exactly at that moment in time, you fucking call me!

So we made a deal.

Where are my emeralds?

What's the holdup?

Making arrangements.

But it takes time. I got to line up the talent.

- Talent? - Yeah, I can't do it all by myself.

Specialists, you know, come out of my pocket.

Ah, what the fuck is that?

Uzi! I got it online.

Two one hundredths of a Bitcoin.

Plus shipping.

It's also a parole violation in case it comes to that.

See, my father has certain expectations.

It's best if they're met.

Oh, um, one more thing.

About those, uh, "specialists."

You didn't say anything to them about me, right?

Course not.

Good.

Good doggie.

Hello?

911. What's your emergency?

Hello? Yeah, please send an ambulance at, uh, Reg--

- What? - Hello?

- Ah, shit. - Are you there?

- What happened? - It was the guy I told you about.

- He just came over to pay me a visit... - What is your emergency?

...and had some fun on my face.

Oh, God. Fuck.

- Hello? Sir? - Calling an ambulance like I'm some old lady.

- It's embarrassing. - You have 911 on the line.

Ow.

I mean, is this guy gonna clip you, or what?

Probably, maybe, maybe not.

I don't know.

I'm still paying the price for getting copped in that warehouse, huh?

Not all of us get second chances, I guess.

Damn it.

Where?

I don't know. This guy, he probably lives in a tree.

No, the safe. Where is the safe?

Down in Chaplain, a day's drive.

It's all doped. It's a milk run.

One day.

Tops.

Hmm.

I mean, you know, there and back,

so, uh, two days really, with piss breaks, but yeah.

A day?

I mean, there and back, so two days.

With piss breaks, but yeah.

You have to go right now? I need your help here.

I'll be back before no time.

- What aunt is this? - It's, uh, great-aunt. Gamma Jean.

You know, Jady was better keeping in touch with her, so they were really tight.

And now that she's in hospice, he just wants to see her one last time.

If this is a lie, it's a bad one.

I-- Abs, he's got nowhere else to go for Thanksgiving.

So... it's either I ship him up there,

or he's in our home telling your dad all about "shitting with a celly" etiquette.

- What? - S-Set a schedule and just stick to it.

This is my first crack at real family time in years, Mike.

And my first in longer without having a sip of something.

Just be at this table.

I will.

I love you.

And Blueberry.

I love you, too.

-"I love you." - Oh, dude.

Oh, I-I love you.

Oh, I lov-- Oh, I lo-- I love you.

I love you so much.

♪ Don't lay your funky trip on me ♪

♪ Don't lay your funky trip on me...

Listen, I, um...

I never actually talked to Freddie Unk.

At the legal clinic.

I didn't want to see you.

It was the coins. I-I-I blew a fuse, and I...

...stayed away.

I figured that.

You did?

Yeah.

Nobody actually goes to Freddie Unk for legal advice.

True.

You ever read George Herbert?

17th century metaphysical poet?

- You're into poetry now? - Yeah.

So this guy, this traveler,

he ends up at this house, and the owner lets him in.

"Welcome, pal."

You know. "I got food.

Crash over there as long as you want."

And the traveler's, like, you know, all guilty.

Mm-hmm.

And he's like, "I'm not worthy of these generosities."

And the owner's like, "Bro, come on.

You knocked on my door."

- This is a poem? - Yeah.

And then he's like, "You must sit and taste my meat.

And so I sit and eat."

What?

No one can make you feel worthy.

You decide to sit at the table.

Wh-What does that have to do-- Wh-What?

You sit and eat meat.

But what does that fucking mean?

Do you want to hear that again? Okay. So this traveler, right--

No, no, no, no. Just don't talk, man.

Don't talk.

It's a good poem.

♪ Brother, please, don't... ♪

Oh, this place is swiggity-sweet.

- One, two, three, Wolf Man. - One, two, three, Dracula.

- We can go two-out-of-three if you want. - No, I'm good on the floor.

No, I just feel like Wolf Man would beat out Dracula in real life, and then--

Wolf Man's once-a-month. Dracula is all the time. Use your head.

You've been in the clink. Take the bed.

Ah, I don't need your charity.

Come on, just take the bed, Jady.

Jady, come on. Just take--

Oh, shit.

I got you some freshies.

So...

I got to go see a friend really quick.

What? No. Let's just do this thing and go.

Dude, five years.

Dude.

I developed one of those online correspondences.

She's into penology or, you know, whatever.

Anyway, she's on the way. I'm just gonna say hello.

That looks really nice, man.

- Huh? - That-- You should go take a look at that.

♪ Bow-chika wow-wow ♪

- Are you okay with this? - Huh?

Damone's not running this show.

Damone's here Wednesdays and Fridays, Judge.

I'm Anthony.

You see what I'm putting up with?

Now, how do you lose an entire degenerate hunchback, Jimmy?

Man, fuck this.

Winged it.

I'll get him back. Look.

I got his prints on a high-capacity weapon.

That's a parole violation right there.

We just hand this off to the county boys.

Bang! Back in for a double.

And how would that look, huh?

You misplace a convict I gave you to play with.

And now you want county men to-to what?

To bring him back here?

You want those emeralds?!

You want to be worth a damn, Jimmy?!

You got to go mop this mess up yourself.

Get him, Jimmy!

- This better be quick. - Look, five minutes, tops.

In and out.

In and out.

Why don't you smile? Come on.

Brighten it up a little.

She's a trip, man.

- Oh. [kisses] It happened. - Wow.

It happened.

Whoa. Come on. That is nice.

- Let me get one. [sniffs] Okay. - Yeah.

Wow.

- This is-- - Oh.

Hey. I'm Bethesda.

I'm Mike. Um, uh, his twin.

- Uh-huh. Please. - Ooh.

Oh.

Sorry about...

- Um... - Wow.

Make yourselves to home.

Mm.

Mm.

So, this is a new beginning, huh?

This is a birth. How do you feel being out?

Oh, I-I feel, I feel great.

- Mm-hmm. - You know, like...

like I've shed a skin of my past

to reveal this layer that's been always hidden underneath it, unseen.

Does that make sense?

Yeah. Shed that skin.

How long have you two been corresponding?

What?

I don't know. About a month or s-- More. Two months?

It's... seven weeks, three days.

Oh, wow.

He randomly saw me online, sent me a DM.

Then we just started talking, you know.

Started talking about the little things.

Then we started talking about the big things.

- Mm-hmm. - Right?

Mm-hmm.

It's what we call a synchronicity. It was just natural.

Chi doesn't lie.

Doesn't watch the clock.

I didn't know that.

Mm-hmm.

Can we have some private time?

Uh...

You don't mind, do you, twinsie?

- No. - Okay.

Uh, there's juice in the fridge. Help yourself.

But not the green one.

That's Samuel's.

So, uh, who's Samuel?

Oh.

He's my journey partner.

No matter what those habitat fascists say.

Mm.

Uh, a little music for the mood?

Huh.

Interesting.

Okay.

You s-sign?

Oh, fuck.

M-O-K-E. Moke.

I'm Moke.

Yeah, n-n-n...

What?

I wish you came alone.

I feel a little funny with a stranger out there.

He's not a stranger.

I don't know what that is.

His aura is damaged.

I know.

But I'm gonna fix that.

- Oh, give me two secs. - Oh, sure.

You're... You're...

Plane. You're a plane.

You're a plane. Yeah.

Okay. That's funny. Funny. That's--

Hi.

Good?

Nice.

Oh.

Okay. That's good.

That's good. Friend.

Fucking shit.

What?

What? No, no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

What did I sign? What did I sign?

No, no, no, no.

Jady! Jady!

Oh, my God!

Sammy.

No! No! Gross!

Are you...

Are you Habitat Heroes?

- Jady! - Yes?

Jady!

I mean no. No, we're not! No!

- Sammy! - We're not Habitat Heroes.

Sammy!

No, no, no, no!

Jady, roll!

Go away!

Moke, come on! Come on!

Fuck is happening?

Go, go, go, go, go, man!

- Oh, what the-- What the fuck? - No! No!

No! Bad Samuel!

- Go! - No, no kisses!

No kisses! No kisses!

Come on, let's go, go, go, man!

Sammy!

God. Oh.

What happened?

Thank you.

I can still smell it.

I'm hungry.

Let's get something to eat. There's a place next door.

We can, uh, go over stuff.

You know, talk.

- I agree. - All right.

This score, this garment shop, what's it called again?

Uh...

Goldfarb's. No. No, Goldblatt's.

I don't know. Gold something.

Don't know. Don't remember.

Hey, it's a nice, soft water.

The soap's pretty good. Smells like...

I don't know. It smells like a spring afternoon.

Nice.

- You good? - Yeah.

Dear Baby Bear:

Hope you don't hate me for taking so long to write you back.

I got myself into a little bind.

We'll be together soon enough.

Let me know when the plan's in motion.

And remember, don't tell Mokey yet.

You know how... emotional he gets.

Love, Mama.

The sign that they have says "bottomless margs," but...

you know that's bullshit, right? Because--

How long?

I don't know. She wrote me, like, four months ago.

Why not me?!

It's not like that.

It's not like what?

Wh-Why is Mom writing you and not me?!

Well, 'cause she maybe thought you'd become more emotional.

Me?!

Me?

Emotional? Emotional?

Oh! Oh, here we go, fit time!

I'm not making that bed!

You need to take a one, two, three breath.

No, one, two, three, fuck you!

Ah, come on, Moke!

- Come on, man, where you going? - Home!

- Just get inside. Let me talk. - You had all this time to talk!

No more talking. Shush. Quiet.

Oh, now you're gonna make me talk to the back of your big-ass head?

There's no score, is there?

- Hey, what's going on out there? - There's no safe.

No, you've been full of shit since you popped back up.

And I sh-should've known better!

There's no psycho cop after you.

You probably hired some asshole

to kick the shit out of you in that bathroom

'cause you knew it would get me on board.

No way I'd say no then.

Nah-nah-nah, nah. Fuck you!

No, Farful's real, and he's awful.

Where is she?!

Oh, shit!

- Mokey! - Hi, Mom.

What the fuck?

God, he dented the car!

Glad you're all right.

So, there's no concussions.

Which is good, but...

according to your BMI, you're borderline overweight.

Don't worry, a little exercise, change your diet,

you'll bring that down.

This is for Tyler.

And that skank from Arby's.

Hope you enjoy my herpes. Because that's for life.

True that, bitch!

♪ We both lie silently still...

Mom.

Mom.

Yes, Moke, I hear you, baby.

Thirty years, okay?

You, no words.

You, gone.

Us, totally confused.

There's gonna be some sarcastic bullshit--

- No, no, no, no, no. - Because this is hard for me, too.

I-I know, but put yourself in his shoes.

Our shoes. What the fuck, man?

- What the fuck? - What is that? Don't do that. - You both look.

Yes. All right.

We ought to never have gone after that train.

The courier output was a bunch of Africana hard cases.

Everything just exploded.

Hell, I mean, you were there.

We fucking ran, man.

Eat my ass, fuckers!

Come on!

We got 'em. It's okay.

It's okay. You're not bleeding even anymore.

Don't worry, honeybee. I'll stash the goods.

- Huh? Baby, what are you doing? - They're so fucking beautiful.

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, God!

♪ I know I could have saved a love that night ♪

♪ If I'd known what to say ♪

♪ Instead of making love ♪

♪ We both made our separate ways ♪

Shit.

♪ But now I hear you found somebody new ♪

♪ And that I never meant that much to you ♪

♪ To hear that tears me up inside ♪

♪ And to see you cuts me like a knife, I guess ♪

♪ Every rose has its thorn ♪

Oh, Mom, Glenn was cool as shit.

Yeah.

I held out the hope that I could circle back someday.

But by then, I was on the federal list, and I had to stay out of country.

Cabo, Ixtapa, Cozumel.

Oh, I had a sweet enterprise going on the playa.

Eventually,

I figured I was keeping low for so long

that maybe you were better off with me gone.

We were 15.

I can apologize only so much.

You haven't apologized at all.

I'm wired the way I'm wired.

I'm painted the way I look.

I did my best.

For you.

Best for you, Mom.

Why you back now?

Hmm?

I'm dying.

That tears it.

Mokey.

Shit.

Help me.

It's cancer. In her brain.

She says a year, maybe less.

Well, just lower that side a bit.

If I told you she was back, you wouldn't have come.

I know how angry you are.

Okay, and all this was gonna fix it?

Well, it got you out the door.

What about this cop who almost drowned you?

Oh, fuck that guy. He's a clown.

He's got nothing on me that I don't have on him.

Plus, I'm not sticking around.

I'm gonna do this one and split.

What "this one"?

What?

The emeralds.

Worth about four million now, plus inflation.

- I got a plan. - Of course you do.

But it takes the three of us.

How can I spell this out any clearer to you?

I am finished stealing shit.

It's not stealing. It's like reclaiming lost property.

Those emeralds are basically our birthright.

Think about your family.

Think about Blueberry.

Why don’t you just fuck already?

Geez.

It's once in a lifetime, Moke.

Money. Real money. Lots of it.

All we got to do is just dig 'em up.

Then you can go back to living straight, like you've been, but comfortable.

Come on.

I-I have to take a dump.

All right.

Aw, there's no toilet paper?

Jady. Jady!

♪ Laying our hearts on the table ♪

♪ Stumblin' in ♪

♪ Now and then firelight will catch us ♪

♪ Stumblin' in ♪

- ♪ Wherever you go ♪ - Yeah, baby.

I got it, Mama.

♪ Whatever you do ♪

♪ You know these reckless thoughts of mine ♪

♪ Are following you...

- Ha ha! - Excuse me.

- Can I get one of those bottomless margs? - You sure can.

♪ And so we begin ♪

I was first!

♪ Foolishly laying our hearts ♪

♪ On the table ♪

♪ Stumblin' in ♪

♪ Our love is a flame ♪

♪ Burning within ♪

♪ Now and then firelight will catch us ♪

♪ Stumblin' in ♪

♪ Oh, stumblin' in ♪

♪ Ooh, stumblin' in ♪

♪ Now and then firelight will catch us ♪

♪ Stumblin' in ♪

I know.

I love you so much.

Thieving little shit.

Waingro, Bethesda.

You have been pretty friendly

with one John "Jady" Munger

prior to his release from prison.

You seen him since then?

I ain't seen shit.

But if I had, I wouldn't say shit.

Either way...

♪ You can suck on my balls! ♪

Where's Munger?!

- Uh-uh-uh. No, no, no. - Ow!

Easy, easy. Down. No, no, no!

Ow, you're hurting me!

- Where's Munger? - He's a fucking liar,

and he's a pervert.

And I think he stole my work ID, and I got catfished.

What else?!

He was here with his brother. They just took off.

- He has a brother? - Uh-huh. His name is Mike.

He's a fucking creep.

Ow!

You have a monkey?

It's-- Whoa!

No! No!

No! No!

No, no, no!

Here we go.

Right there, man! Right there, Mokey. Right there.

All right.

Bulldoze that shit!

Yeah!

Fuck yeah!

Yes!

Here.

You sure?

Yeah. Yeah.

Right here. Come on.

You really want to dig him up in broad daylight?

Nighttime's too suspicious. You know that.

What's wrong with you?

It's a terrible plan.

Let's go.

Get in there.

Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah.

Glenn was cool as shit.

All right.

Hurry.

- One, two, three, Wolf Man. - One, two, three, Frankenstein.

- Oh, come on. I dug him up. - Oh, come on. I can't drive this thing.

Oh, don't give me that shit. Just pull the seat up.

- Don't be a victim. - How dare you?

Wolf Man beats Frankenstein with what, claws?

Yeah, and savagery.

- Mom! - Work it out.

Damn it.

Come on, you got this.

Oh, yeah, get in there, Moke. Dig in. Ah, yeah.

Dig in there. Get it. Get it. Get it.

Oh, God.

You all right?

- You need a ginger ale? - No.

Hey, lady!

How does this still smell so bad?

Hey, Charlie, I thought they were installing that bunker on 17.

We're gonna have company.

Uh, you got it?

Uh, guys?

Ah, you're doing great, buddy.

Quiet.

Hey, lady, this is a private club!

Hey, uh, guys?

Monday's maintenance day!

Today's Thursday!

- You got it? - Guys?

Get that construction shit out of here!

We got some cart jockeys eyeballing us.

- Guys! - You got it?

We need to stop 'em.

Come on! You're ruining the fairway!

You are gonna pay for this!

- They exposed the irrigation system! - Guys!

We need to stop 'em!

This is crazy!

Cart path!

Cart path, motherfucker!

I got it!

Let's go! Let's party!

Oh, yeah!

Get out of here!

Look at all the rich white people!

- Step on it, Mokey. - Let's go!

Yeah!

Come on, hit the gas! Hit it!

I'm trying! These things are fucking slow!

Come on, Todd! Hit 'em with the range balls!

- Whoa. - Come on, fucker!

- Get him! - Get that fucker!

Bull's-eye!

Wait, what? What the hell? Is that a cadaver?!

Jady!

- Moke! Jesus! - Oh!

- Get him! - Go away!

Ow! Ow!

- Man down! Man down! - Now get those douchebags!

Man the wheel!

Mom, he's touching me inappropriately!

- Where are you going? - Kick him!

- Huh? - Whoa! Pull the wheel!

Did we hit something?

Get closer!

Get him, Mom, get him!

Eat my ass, fuckers!

Hold on!

Yeah!

You're gonna hear from my lawyer, asshole!

The Mungers are back!

Look at you. Still fucking cool, Glenn.

We did it. Ha! We did it!

- I mean, after you did it, Mom. - Well...

Oh!

The De Koenig rocks and the motherfucking Mungers! Ha!

What about you and me, Moke?

A couple of days ago, we weren't even talking, man.

- Oh, man. - I was in stir. You were getting canned.

And now look at us. We're millionaires!

Oh, Mom, come here, you beautiful bandit.

Come on, dance with me, Mom.

Hey, I never...

I never... I never said that I was canned.

What?

I don't understand. Who called?

It was the Labor and Employment Bureau.

Wait, w-were you the Labor and Employment Bureau?

It's not even a thing, is it?

It sounded right.

Oh, come on, man. I needed you. You know that.

- Oh, for Christ's sake. - The fuck, man?!

- I needed that job! - Moke!

- Put down the shovel. - You fucked up my life.

You're a liar, and you've always been a liar to me.

Oh, I'm the fucking liar?!

Mr. Suburbs with the khaki shorts and the boat shoes?!

I have a family! I have Abby, a kid on the way!

Oh, yeah, Abby.

Yeah, she's no Suzy Homemaker either. You know what I'm saying?

You know how I know that?

Because she married you!

What?

Fill your own hole.

Fuck!

I will!

The--

Mom.

Come on.

Where you going?

Mommy.

Oh, sorry, Glenn.

A kid? That's a game changer.

She. We're having a girl.

You know, Jady didn't want a jugger.

He just wanted a goon for heavy lifting.

Oh, he wanted you.

What he wanted was to use me.

Like always.

And you know what the worst part of it is?

Is I knew it. I could, I could, I could...

I could feel it.

But I let him do it anyway.

Do you remember what you said to me the day you ran?

I said, "Let me come with you."

Do you remember what you said?

Couldn't use you.

Oh, Mokey.

No.

I said...

I couldn't lose you.

We were going down a dead end.

I mean, you saw Glenn.

If anything ever happened to you,

I couldn't bear it.

Why'd you really come back?

For the money, right?

Time's short, sweetie.

Money's the only thing I could give you.

Here, doggie, doggie.

- What did you do with it? - Fuck you.

You buried it? You dug it up?

I don't have it!

- Where is it? Hmm? - You should see a proctologist.

They're somewhere up there, man.

Last time I'm gonna ask you.

Where is it?!

What did you do with--

Whoa!

Get him!

Not so tough now, are you, tough guy?!

On your feet!

Hands. Hands!

Ow.

Hey. What's that?

Knees. You, knees!

Don't shoot. Don't shoot. I'm dying.

What?

Hey! Lady!

I can see you!

Oh. Are these your kids?

Fucking hate you.

Hi, Mom!

Listen, lady, there's two ways that this can go.

You can run off with that stash or with your kids.

Either way, I don't give a flying fuck and a rolling doughnut.

What's it gonna be?

Sorry, boys.

Wait.

- What?! - Shit!

- Hey! - Kidding me?

Mom!

What is happening, Mom?!

Not part of the plan!

I have a gun!

Mom!

God, it doesn't seem like she's dying.

Fuck you!

Mom, where are you going?

Hey!

I'm gonna shoot!

- No, no, no! - No!

The whole jewels-or-your-life thing was just for effect.

I didn't think that she'd really...

Really?

Come on, Farful. Let's just talk this over, huh?

I'm done making deals with you.

I'm gonna tell everybody what you did.

Who they gonna listen to, huh?!

They gonna believe you or me?

I am a Farful. Do you know what that means?

I am justice!

And I have a gun with your prints on them at Dad's house.

That's a reset on your clock right there, buddy.

And as for your fucking Sasquatch brother--

Yeah, fucking you.

He assaulted a peace officer!

Hope you didn't have plans, chief!

She'll be back.

Yeah, if it's in 30 years, she'll break her record.

"Couldn't lose you."

All that time, that's the best she could think up?

It's what she said.

Yeah, was that before or after she said she was dying?

- She is dying. - Ran pretty fast for a dying woman.

- Why would she lie? - Why do you lie?

To get people to do shit.

Hey, will you knock it off back there?!

- I believe her. - Of course you believe her.

You always believe her because Glenn believed her

and that's who she sped off with.

Glenn was cool as shit.

You wanted to be like Glenn. Congrats! You are now!

Tossed aside by Catherine fucking Munger! Again!

Hey!

Hey! Knock it off back there!

Hey! Hey!

Don't make me come back there!

Knock it off right now--

Fuck you.

Fucking Farful.

What now?

What?

- What? - Sit still.

I'm gonna fix this.

- Hang on. - What are you doing?

God.

- Ow! God. - Hold on. Pull down.

Come on. Let me get it.

Wait, I got it. I got it. I got it.

Drive.

Oh, my God. You still smell like that.

- Still smell like what? - Oh, God! It's like a pork cologne.

Ten and two, dickhead. Just-just go straight.

Hey. Uh, she's gone.

Gamma Jean?

I'm sorry. Is your brother okay?

Not really. They were closer.

No, I-I... I shouldn't have left.

Yeah. I'm aware of that.

But you did. So we're gonna have to figure that out.

I'll-I'll be back as soon as I can.

You'll be back by dinner.

Are we doing this together or not?

- We are. - Okay. Well, prove it.

Because I'm not once telling our daughter where you are instead of being her dad.

Come on, get in the car. Let's go.

You think all these toasters are busted? I've counted 22.

They can't all be unusable, right?

- I don't know. - You know, Mom taught me this.

Figure out what they want to hear, and then say it.

And then say it again.

And you just keep saying it until they swear it's the truth.

And you skin 'em.

Works every time. Oh! Twenty-three.

It's a convection oven.

You know, I really thought this would fix everything.

You know, hit reset, get us back to normal, but...

Man.

This is like when Wile E. Coyote, he draws that tunnel on the side of the wall.

You know he's gonna run into it.

How does he not see that coming?

He was hungry.

You know, even though she taught me how to lie,

I thought Mom always meant to tell the truth.

Yeah, she taught me how to run.

Oh, right. It's about that time.

Moke, go home to your family. I'll be fine.

You won't as long as that judge has a cannon with your prints on it.

We got to get it back.

You don't have to do that.

Yeah, I don't have to do shit.

I'm not leaving you.

Come on.

Think I know where she's headed.

Second down and six from the forty-three yard line.

Blitz coming.

De Koenig.

Priceless.

No such thing, Freddie.

Don't spend all that in one place.

- Whoo. - Ah.

How about you count us out, Mom?

It was a no-win situation back there.

The only shot we had was to get the loot out.

I mean, either one of you would've done exactly the same thing

and been absolutely right.

- Just count out our cut. - I did what I thought was best.

What's best never seems to involve us, though, huh?

It's mine.

What the-- Mom!

Mom!

Come on, this is ridiculous!

Turn that shit off!

I-I can't. I hit the button.

I can't. I already hit the button.

- Michael? - Freddie.

Hey.

How many times you gonna run?!

Look. Look, I really shouldn't let you drive, okay?

You okay, man?

Mom!

- Mom! - Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mom!

Mama!

Mom!

Mom!

Moke! Moke!

- Hey, Moke. Down here. - Jady, where is she?

- What? - Where is she?

Moke, look at these puppets.

Are you kidding? Focus, man!

- Focus! Fuck. - But they're for Blueberry.

- You chose this over me twice. - I said I was sorry.

- Oh, no, you didn't. - Oh, yes, I did.

Yeah, you did, but you didn't!

- He's gonna take off with it. - No, he won't.

Munger! Comma!

Jonathan Thomas!

♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪

♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪

♪ I never understood a single word...

I got shots fired at the old Ferndale Mall.

I need cops now!

There.

I do scorched earth, convict!

Moke. Moke!

Hold still!

Oh, shit!

Oh, mother--

♪ Joy to you and me...

Where are you?

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

- What are you doing? - Were you gonna run?

Tell me right now. Were you gonna run?

What do you think?

Yoo-hoo!

Come out and play!

What's the plan?

Look, I still got dinner to figure out for tonight,

and I don't know what's gonna be open, so can we move this along, please?

What are we gonna do?

I can smell you

and your dirty little ass!

We're gonna feed hungry boy. Come on.

Well, this just got fucked up.

Secure the perimeter. The suspect is armed and dangerous.

- All units, stand by. - It's okay. I'm a peace officer.

Yoo-hoo! Over here, asshole.

Just want what's mine.

And yours, too, for my trouble.

What you got there?

Oh, it's a big-ass bag of money.

Gimme it! Now!

Mm, okay.

No.

Walk it over here slowly.

No. Not till we sort this out.

What is there to sort out?

You think you're gonna talk me into letting you go?

No, but you're gonna let my brother here go.

- Wait, that wasn't the plan! - No. Moke.

You're married. You're about to be a father.

Now leave me behind to go be a fun-ass dad.

Right.

Leave you behind with all the money, too, right?

- Hello, excuse me. - What?

- Oh, wow. - Hey.

- You do not honestly think that I'm gonna-- - Hey.

- Hey! - What? That I'm gonna walk out the door

to a wall full of cops while you weasel out the other way?

Yeah, that's exactly what I think.

Don't be an idiot. Stop thinking and walk.

Yeah, you heard him, Sasquatch. Bounce!

You guys are in this together.

Aren't you?

No, no, no, since the beginning,

- it's been you two. - That man has been

actively trying to murder me.

I don't work with partners.

That's been the plan all along.

Use me as a diversion while you and shitbird here

- escape with the cash. - What'd you say?

One second, Farful. Uh...

I knew he didn't kick your ass in that motel!

- Totally did. - No, I can't believe I trusted you!

You have never trusted me, ever.

'Cause all you do is use people.

There's not an angle out there that you wouldn't choose over somebody else.

Over family. Family. Fam--

Family? What do you know about family?

You're the one who abandoned me in that warehouse!

I knew you wouldn't let go of that shit!

Yeah, you don't fuck with family.

Farful, you're one to talk. You and your dad? Please.

My dad thinks that I'm great.

Your dad doesn't give a shit about you.

My dad thinks

- that I am a legend in the making! - A legend?

Wh-What the fuck does that even mean?

- It means that-- - No, but you are a piece of shit!

And you guys should fucking hang out together all the time!

- Fuck you! - Hey!

- Fuck you, Jady. - No, fuck you, Farful!

- No, fuck you! And fuck you! - Fuck you!

- Fuck you! - I'm gonna take this.

Oh, no, you're not.

- I'm gonna take it. That's mine. - No! No!

- You give me that back. - Hey!

- Give it to me! Let go! - Let go of it!

- You let go of it! - Damn it!

- You fucking let go! - Let go! Give me that fucking thing!

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

Let go!

Now drop it!

Now!

That is mine!

Now move!

Move!

Look at your faces.

I win.

I win!

I did it.

Well, that got out of hand pretty quickly.

- It did a lot better than I thought, though. - Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

Burns. Ow.

- Yeah. - Ah.

I think I smell pickles, Daddy.

Oh, thank you, nice man. Ow.

This is the Sherman County police.

Put the gun down and come out with your hands up.

We have the place surrounded.

I repeat: we have the place surrounded.

Is prison really bad?

Yeah.

It's prison.

You got my money?

Right here.

Keep an eye on it, then.

May I?

What are you-- Mom, what are you doing?

I worked too hard for that cash to lose it now.

There's an exit to the garage back there.

Take the ramp out to the road and get your ass

- in a crowd ASAP. - Mom! What--

I mean, this game's a waste of time if you leave it with nothing.

You're gonna run now.

Before I get a better idea.

Oh, and by the way, I'm not dying.

Put that gun down!

- Come out with your hands up! - Come on.

- Put that gun down, lady! - Come on.

Put that gun down!

Put that gun down!

Drop the weapon now!

Jimmy.

That bag better hold heads of lettuce

or the head of a dead-ass hunchie.

Huh.

Damone?

It's Anthony's day.

And he's taking a long lunch.

Fuck you!

You're one of them, aren't you?

You want me?

You found a fight instead.

I just want the heater you're holding over my brother.

Oh, and you think I'm just gonna give it to you?

This is a hair over one-nine.

My cut, less expenses and severance for Anthony.

Well, there you have it.

I got to tell you something, son.

You're overpaying.

Yeah, I don't think so.

Don't you want to know where your son is?

Jimmy?

That boy is as worthless as a chocolate teapot.

Hmm.

How old are you, old man?

I got time yet.

Mm, not enough to spend it all, I bet.

You're gonna lose that game, Judge.

♪ I feel so bad ♪

♪ I've got a worried mind ♪

♪ I'm so lonesome ♪

♪ All the time ♪

♪ Since I left my baby behind ♪

♪ On Blue Bayou ♪

♪ Bo-bo-bo ♪

♪ Saving nickels ♪

♪ Saving dimes ♪

♪ Working till the sun don't shine ♪

♪ Looking forward to happier times ♪

♪ On Blue Bayou...

Dinner's on the table.

It's been on the table.

I decided not to wait.

And I'm not gonna wait again.

I lost my job.

But I'll get another one.

We'll hold it up together.

You and me.

All the way.

Good.

And you said there was an ape?

Yeah.

I jacked it off.

What?

I love your daughter, Norm.

Is there anything else to talk about?

No. No.

Sorry.

I scuffed the intro last time.

This is my brother Jady.

He's gonna be eating with us tonight.

Please, sit and eat.

All right.

What's up, dude?

Greens, Jady?

No, ma'am, just the bird.

Man, you didn't have to give your cut away.

No, it was an investment.

You know, I made an investment as well.

- You did? - Yeah.

- When you were at the judge's... - Mm?

...I went to go see a lawyer.

Not Freddie. Fuck Freddie.

Fuck Freddie.

A real lawyer.

I don't know. Maybe we drew up the paperwork for a living trust for your kid.

Money's all hers now.

Isn't that great?

Yeah.

You gave your half away?

The fuck would you give your half away?

The fuck? You gave your half away, so, you know--

No, no, because I knew you still had yours,

and I could hit you up if I needed it, seeing that I saved your ass.

Oh, okay.

Well, now you're gonna have to hit up your daughter, Blueberry Munger,

as soon as she learns how to speak and sign with a crayon.

You put it under the name "Blueberry"?

Yeah, that's her name.

No, we were being cute.

What kind of name is "Blueberry"?

Well, that's her name if she wants two million bucks.

It's a great name.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

They grow up quick, man.

What you, uh, settle on there?

Oh.

This is Blue.

Berry.

Blueberry's the full legal name, but Mike doesn't like it.

No. Yeah, but we decided on "Blue," didn't we?

- Berry. - It's just Blue. It's really simple.

See how defensive he gets?

We don't call you "John Thomas."

- Maybe you should start. - That's what we call her.

Do you want to hold her?

Absolutely.

- Oh. - Come to Gamma,

- baby Blue. - Transfer to Grandma.

Grandma.

There you are.

Es mi nieta.

Okay, Munger, time's up.

Okay, Mom, here, let me take her.

- Come here, you little Blueberry. - I'll miss you.

Moke.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

You under-stir that gravy, I'm gonna fucking know.

Happy Thanksgiving, Mom.

Boys.

So happy Munger Thanksgiving.

Maybe not in a traditional sense.

But for us, that's a holiday done right.

♪ The hurt I hurt ♪

♪ Is nothing like...

Our family, we've always been different.

♪ Before...

- It was nice to meet her. - Yeah.

Mom looks great.

Hope she's in a nice gang.

♪ Like things I've felt before...

Some might call us selfish or crazy or bad.

Can I talk to him for one second?

♪ And the hopelessness are fine...

You know, I saw what you did in there.

You saw what where?

Jady.

♪ For one moment ♪

♪ You were mine...

We've been called a lot of things.

"Totally functional" would not be one of them.

But we always kept it interesting.

- No shit. - Oh, yeah.

What do you say we do best two out of three, Wolf Man?

Winner takes all.

- You joking? - Maybe.

Come on.

Yeah, your dad drives a minivan, but that's only to keep you safe.

And I think he thinks it's kind of cool.

But that's okay. Nobody's perfect.

And, Blueberry, don't tell your dad about the extra emerald

Uncle Jady kept for himself, okay?

Fuck you. Pay me.

That's my girl.

I'm-a get me a big-ass sombrero.

One you can keep your chips in.

Dos cervezas.

Get me one of them, uh, sexy dancing ladies

with them, uh, fancy printed skirts.

Maybe we'll do that, uh, ménage à trois y'all talk about.

Ménage à tres. [laughs]

I've never talked about that, baby. You're the one who talks about that.