Original subtitles

♪ (Spooky music plays)

Why aren't you in school?

Got sent home.

Kevin!

I didn't do it!

Didn't do what?

(Strange disembodied laughter.)

Wait, can you hear that?

Who's that laughing?

Seriously, with everything going on with your Dad

at the moment you get suspended?

What is that? Who's laughing?

I don't hear anything.

(Laughing continues)

Why's everyone laughing at me?

♪ (Music and laughing continues, getting louder.)

(A car handbrake is pulled suddenly. The music fades away.)

Are we there yet? We're lost.

We're not lost.

I just had the weirdest dream.

I could care less, but not much.

What's that supposed to mean?

I don't know - a Kardashian said it

Mum, Katie's being mean to me.

How do you know? Lucky guess?

Katie, don't be mean to your brother. I wasn't even!

Quiet! Did we miss the turn-off?

Tom!

What that?

(She sighs) Never mind.

Hey, stop recording me - you're infringing my human rights!

Mum, Katie's infringing my human rights!

No, it's in the public interest; therefore allowable.

I have a reasonable right to privacy my own car!

Why do our kids know so much about privacy laws?

♪ (Opening music)

Is this ours? Yeah!

It's nice, isn't it? Yeah. Guys, doesn't it look nice? No!

It's going to be great, really.

Yeah, perfect, thanks Tom.

Ok! Excellent.

(She inhales deeply) Smell that fresh country air!

How long do we have to stay here?

Look, there's a playground.

And we can all go for hikes up the mountain.

Yeah: it's just what the doctor ordered.

This is all your fault!

You're full of crap!

Kevin - language!

Crap isn't a bad word. It is the way you say it!

In future Don't say crap, say... cabbage.

Cabbage!

You wanted to practice your hurling, didn't you?

This place is perfect!

(He sighs)

Thanks for the back-up.

What did I do? Nothing!

(Raindrops)

This whole jolly holiday thing was your idea.

Okay, you're right.

Let's just relax and have a good time.

♪ (Tense music starts)

(Door squeaks open)

♪ (Creepy music continues)

(Kevin's bag falls to the ground with a thud.)

(The door of the cupboard falls with a bang.)

(He sighs) It's going to be a long week.

Oh look, there's a fold out TV.

What's the point of that?

♪ (Music continues)

(A video falls, hitting the dresser, then the ground.)

♪ (The creepy music gets louder)

Hey guys! So,

new posts may be a little bit spotty of the next few days

due to my mum's misguided desire that we all need to holiday

in the hellish pit of despair!

...also known as - Moloney's Holiday Park

I mean (scoffs) can you believe that I actually had to... Katie!

I found your extra-small bra in my bag!

Where do you want me to put it?!

I was recording!

I am going to kill you!

(She sighs) There's supposed to be WiFi.

Tom, do you have WiFi? (Sounding stressed) Where's the Wifi?

♪ (Quiet music)

(Salt mill grinds)

(Dad sighs, exasperatedly)

This is cruel and usual punishment

I said no.

I'm calling child services, they'll take me away.

If only!

It's not fair, why does Katie get to use her phone?

Because Katie would fall into a catatonic stupor if she was

without her phone for 10 minutes

and she wasn't suspended from school for hitting someone.

I didn't even do it! Oliver O'Hare is a total liar, everyone knows that.

Why doesn't anyone believe me?

Anyway, do you really need to stare at a screen to be happy?

When I was your age, there was no tablets or mobile phones

I know!

and you all sat around the piano singing songs

and knitting leg warmers

- well we're not cavemen anymore!

(Dad sniggers)

Who's up for a little board game after dinner, hmm?

(Kevin bangs his head)

Hey. You alright?

♪ (Weird music plays)

Hey Dad! Hmm?

Look what I found!

Oh yeah?

What is it? It's a video tape.

It's how we used to watch movies before streaming and downloads

Cool!

How's it work?

You need a video player to play it.

But I don't think they make them anymore.

(Toothbrushing)

This place is so ancient - maybe someone will have one?

Do you wanna go look for one?

...together? ...in the morning?

We'll see.

I'm wrecked. I'm going to go to bed early.

Okay. Night Dad.

(Birdsong)

Morning.

(Kevin clatters around)

Do you have to make such a racket? I'm trying to work.

Where's your father?

In bed.

What are you looking for? Something to play this on?

Look, I never told work we were going on holiday and

I've a meeting in half an hour. You cannot be here!

You're the one who took my phone away.

(He slams the door.)

(Mum sighs)

(An axe chops wood)

Hi... Hello!

We're the Kellys, staying in cabin 3 - do you work here?

I do, pet! I'm the caretaker.

Ye must be the Kellys in cabin 3?

Eh... Yes!

Let me get a good look at you. Now, what did I do with my glasses?

Are they not on your face?

Oh, these? No, sure there's no glass in these!

I only wear these to look smart!

Why don't you wear your actual glasses to look smart?

Och, these awful cheap ones?

You mustn't have an eye for fashion, do you love?

No.

Em, anyway, sorry... Em...

to disturb you, but it's just wondering if you had any old

VHS players in the holiday park?

Oh, I think there is one in the shed we use for storage.

It's a bit of a hike up the mountain trail, but...

I can give you a key if you like.

That'd be great, thanks.

You're very welcome Mr Kelly

but first, a warning...

...that is not just a mountain... In the olden days,

it was known as a Fairy Fort -

home to the mischievous fairies of yore,

who'd steal your soul as soon as they'd look at you.

So, make sure whatever else you do,

you don't stray from the mountain trail

for fear a fairy might take you off and take you to the land of Faerie

where they would devour your flesh

and peel the skin off your body to make it into a coat...

Okay, that's plenty warning.

Thank you! You're very kind... bye.

Beware the carnivorous fairies,

who'll eat your eyeballs! (She laughs)

Come on, it'll take 5 minutes max, please Katie! Nooo-ah!

I'm recording a make-up tutorial this afternoon,

I don't have time for babysitting!

All 15 of your followers will be so heartbroken!

For your information, I have almost 200 followers

I can go on my own! No!

You can't! Where's your Dad? He could take you.

(Quietly) Where d'ya think? He's still in bed.

Ok fine, I'll bring him.

Thank you.

(Louder) but this is where my babysitting ends.

I'm not a baby!

Well then, why do you smell like one?

That's actually a compliment.

♪ (Upbeat music, and sheep bleating)

Will you take some video of me with the lake in the background?

Wait, hang on!

What?!!

Would it kill you to just be real for once?

Is that an insult?

If you can't tell, you'll never know.

Is that an insult?

Go on, I'm recording.

♪ (Music continues)

(She sighs exasperatedly) Let me see!

This is it, is it?

♪ (Music comes to an end)

(Door squeaks open)

Mmm - you're on your own -

there's probably spiders as big as dogs in there!

(Kevin's footsteps)

(TV static; the video player beeps.)

That's not how it works!

No wonder everyone thinks you're stupid.

I'm not stupid.

I never said you were.

Give me a shout when you're done.

♪ (The Pooka theme music plays)

(Children cheer)

Hello Pooka!

(Children gasp)

(Children laugh)

Oh no, Pooka,

you'll spoil your appetite before dinner.

(An audience laughs)

(An stretching upward sound effect plays, and children cheer.)

Pooka, don't you'll...

(Glass smashes. The audience gasp.)

Sally, how could you?

and right before your dinner too!

But... I didn't do it. It was the Pooka.

There's no such thing as a Pooka!

♪ (Strange music plays, and the audience laughs.)

♪ (Music ends)

(From the laptop) Sorry Mary, you're breaking up there.

Hello...

Hello?

(Laptop) No... I can't hear you, can you hear me? Hi, hello?

Oh, I can hear you now. Gotcha!

Yeah, sorry... WiFi’s a bit shaky today!

So I really think we'll reach an agreement soon,

we just need to give them a little more time.

They just want to make sure the changes are in scope

before they agree.

OK? OK, thank you.

Thanks. Bye. (She slams the laptop shut) Ugh!

I, eh, couldn't get time off for a holiday,

so they think I'm working from home.

Don't worry, your secret's safe with us.

It's all about the work/life balance, am I right?

I'm Priya, this is my husband, Rob. I'm marketing, he's payroll.

I noticed you and your husband arriving yesterday -

What work do you do?

I'm Mary, mediation and my husband is...

...architecture -

pleasure to meet you!

I love your necklace. This old thing?

She's being modest - she makes them in her spare time.

Oh! It's mostly a hobby, really.

and top 10 best seller on Etsy last Christmas.

So you're a mediator!

Yeah, yeah. I help companies resolve conflicts using

positive constructive words to find win-win solutions.

I like that! And are you on holiday here?

Yeah, just squeezing in some quality family time

into our hectic schedules!

Mary, we're very alike.

Your life is not your work. Your life is what's done after work.

Am I right?

So, it's just an hour of this weird creature causing trouble

There wasn't even any story.

TV was so random in the olden days!

What would we even talk about? You don't have to talk.

I'll do the talkin'. It'll just be an hour or two.

Come on! When was the last time we had a conversation with grown-ups?

Ok, I'll do it. Really?

Has anyone seen me watch? I thought I'd left it here earlier?

No, sorry.

So... who's on for family movie night? I bought popcorn...

Sorry Mum, I have to reply to comments and DMs tonight.

Maybe tomorrow night?

Ah, come on! Life is not work. Life is what you do after work.

Is this part of my punishment?

(Mum sighs)

♪ (Tense music starts)

(Sudden creaking)

Katie!

(Another creak)

(The door creaks open.)

♪ (The creepy music continues.)

(Wind sounds from outside, Kevin's footsteps, and random creaking.)

♪ (The music gets louder, and more scary.)

(Rustling)

(More weird noises, and sudden rustling)

(The window slides closed)

♪ (The music gets louder suddenly, and then slowly fades out.)

What?

Did you eat all of our treats last night?

I didn't do that. You're such a liar!

I'm not! These were supposed to be for all of us, and last us all week.

I know that - it wasn't me!

Why does no one in this family ever believe me?

You don't care about anyone but yourself do you?

And you're lying now, just like you lied about

hitting that boy at school!

Katie! How many times - I didn't do that!

So why'd you get suspended if you didn't do it? Don't ask me!

You're one to talk! You lie through your teeth every time

you record another stupid Instagram video!

...pretending to be someone cool

when you're actually just a sad little loser!

Kevin - that's enough.

Dad

you believe me, don't you?

Ehhh...

(Dad struggles, and exhales.)

I've had enough of this crap! Kevin!

I mean cabbage!

(Door squeaks open, and slams shut.)

He's not even dressed.

He didn't mean what he said.

(Katie tuts and huffs loudly, slamming the door.)

♪ (Tense music plays)

♪ (Music continues, with birdcalls)

Mr Kelly - glad to see the fairies didn't get you!

(Dad slurps tea)

Will you go out talk to him? He's grand!

I just think maybe he's acting up because you don't spend much

time together these days. Look...

I'm just having a bit of a hard time at the minute.

How would you feel if you were fired?

I'm not having a go, but,

this started before they let you go

What're ya talkin' about?

You have to admit, you're not yourself.

You're sleeping more... you barely spend any time with me or the kids.

Tom, it's OK if you're feeling depressed.

Depr-- eh (laughs)

Ok. Look. If it's that important to you,

I'll go out and I'll talk to Kevin, OK?

Cool.

(Door slams)

He'll come around eventually.

How's it going?

I'm just practising balancing the sliotar

I'm not very good.

Ah, you'll get it eventually.

Let me show ya... I'll show you how it's done - you watchin'?

Pay attention, alright?

(The sliotar bounces)

There ya go! Get in there!

I didn't eat all the treats.

I want to believe you but who else could have done it?

(The sliotar bounces again)

Are Pookas real? What?

It's from the video I found... They made a TV show about the Pooka,

but maybe it's not just a TV show - maybe it's real?

Okay... It's hard to explain but maybe I could show you?

Sure. Great.

Come on! Now? OK. Are you going to get dressed first?

...going around in your pyjamas.

♪ (Gentle, relaxed music)

(Loose rocks rattle as Dad steps on them)

♪ (Music continues)

The old lady said it was 20 minutes

but really, it’s more like 30,

but it's not so steep so it doesn’t feel so long...

And I know this is just a TV show and it’s not real, but...

(Katie's footsteps as she moves back and dances)

Ughhh!

Come on Katie, get it together!

(A sudden creaking sound)

Dad?

Kevin?

♪ (Tense music)

(Another rustling noise)

(A cupboard door squeaks open)

Think I saw this one. I used to love anything with robots in it...

Funny - I’ve kind of lost interest in movies these days.

Hey guys, so... I’m on my own in this janky old cabin...

...and... the cupboard door has just opened by itself.

Honest to God, this is NOT a set-up!

I’m going to go see... what’s inside the cupboard.

♪ (Music gets louder and more intense)

(Katie's footsteps)

(Katie's breathing quickens)

(Katie screams)

Ok Dad, watch this. This is the Pooka.

(Katie sighs)

(Katie laughs)

Ahh, sorry guys! (laughing)

I could have sworn this was a rat! I almost died!

(Rustling noise)

♪ (The Pooka's theme tune plays on the TV)

(Children cheering)

Hello Pooka!

♪ (Mysterious music)

Where's he gone?

Holy cabbage!

♪ (End credit music)