All language subtitles for Step.By.Step.S04E10

My date's here, love you, bye.

Yeah,
freeze, Beautiful.

Come here.

Al, you know the rules.

Dates have to come in,

dates have to be introduced.

Alright, fine,

I'll introduce you to Zack.

But I'm begging you,
go easy on him.

I mean, he may be a little...

...different, but

he's a really good guy.

Alright, you answer the door.
I will be Mr. Cool.

-Hey, Zack.
-Hey.

Be nice, Frank.

He's a freak.

Um...

Zack, this is my dad
and my step mom, Carol.

This is Zack Bailey.

Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Lambert.

Um, come on in.
I have a few questions.

God, I have
a lot of questions, Zack.

So, Zack, do you go to
Port Washington High?

Yes. We just moved here.

- Do you like it?
- It's okay. For a school.

Zack is kind of anti school.

I see it as
an institution that
perpetuates the status quo.

No offense, sir, but

I don't want to be
part of the traditional
white male establishment.

Well, that explains the skirt.

Dad, you promised.

It's cool, Al.

I admire your dad's honesty
for bringing up my kilt.

It's a kilt! See, Frank,
it's not a skirt.

It's a kilt.

Do you play bagpipes
in the school band?

No, I'm wearing this
to make a statement.

The kilt's my way of saying
we're all part male

and part female.

Well, hold on, buddy,

I'll have you know,
I am one hundred percent

Grade A American Male.

Tell him, honey.

Maybe some other time.

Okay, kids,

you don't want to be late
for that concert.

Now, you just have
a good time, there.
Thanks, Carol.

- Bye bye.
- Nice meeting you, sir.

- Yeah.
- Bye.

Frank, why were you so hard
on that young man?

You embarrassed Al.

I embarrassed Al? Honey,

she's going out in public
with a guy wearing a dress.

Well, I liked him.
I mean, he was

polite, and

articulate, and, and

he had really nice taste
in earrings.

Well, maybe his female side
does the shopping.

Bless you.

Would you please
stop saying "Bless you!"

Gesundheit.

Dude, I just gave her
a ride home from school.

She sneezed so much,

it made me wish
my windshield wipers
were on the inside.

Choo.
- Bless you.

It's probably just--

It's probably just
a little cold.

Man, no problem.

I got a totally bitchin'
cold remedy out in my van.

It's made from lime juice,
eucalyptus oil,
and horseradish.

Cody, I am not eating that.

Man, you don't eat it.
You just,

like, rub it into
your chest and

let the fumes
work their way in.

Dude, it stops sneezing,

stops coughing,
and will clear a clogged drain

through standing water.

I'll be right back.

Dana, I hate to be the
voice of doom, but,

your sneezing could be
the symptom of something
more serious.

It's just a cold, Doogie.

That's what they said about
the Amazing Sneezing Girl
from Borneo.

She was the
thirteen year old girl who

sneezed non stop
for seven months.

She tried to stop sneezing
by pinching her nose
with her fingers,

blew the brains right out
the back of her head.

Mark, thanks for that

inspiring story, but

I stopped sneezing.

Here we go.

One gigantic jar
of cold remedy.

Cody, I don't need a remedy.
I stopped sneezing.

Sounds like you're in denial
to me.

You know,
this is really weird.

Dana stopped sneezing
the minute you went out
to your van.

And started back again
the minute you came back.

Choo.

So, dude, what are you saying?

Let's try a little experiment.

Dana, back away from Cody.

Interesting.

As Dana steps away from Cody,
the symptoms decrease.

Let's try it again.

Dana, move toward Cody.

Away.

Dude, she is allergic to me.

No way.

Color me toxic.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, pal, where have you been?
Haven't seen you all day.

I went to the mall
with Zack.

Check this out.
We got matching tattoos.

That does it. Girlie boy dies.

Chill, Dad.
It's just a rub on.

I'll wash it off after
my date with Zack tonight.

We're going to Lookout Hill
to watch the meteor shower.

Wait, wait, wait,
wait a minute!

"Watch a meteor shower?"

Al, I can't believe
you fell for that.

It's the oldest trick
in the book.

What do you mean?

I mean, it's just an excuse
a guy uses

to get a girl alone so he can
put the moves on her.

Dad, it's not an excuse.

There really
is a meteor shower.

Well, there really is a movie

at a drive in, but
nobody goes there to watch it.

I don't want you going up to
Lookout Hill with this guy.

Wait a minute.

This isn't about
a meteor shower.

This is about Zack.

You don't like him, do you?

What's to like?
He looks like a Klingon.

Dad, that is so unfair.
You don't even know him.

Well, I know I'm your father

and you are not going up to
Lookout Hill tonight.

Great.

I finally meet a guy I like
and you won't let me date him.

Yeah, thanks a lot, Dad.

Hey, yo, dude,

I think I got this
allergy thing
all figured out, man.

See, dig it,

Dana's not really allergic
to me,

see, she was allergic to
something that was on my body.

Like what?

Well, like,
okay, this morning,
I found these stray cats.

And, well, like, I didn't have
a box to put them in, so I
just stuffed them in my shirt.

Dig it, I was warm as toast,
right,

but I had more cat hair on me
than Garfield.

Hi, Cody. I'll leave.

No, you don't have to go,
Dana.

Hey, I figured out
what you were
allergic to, man,

and I washed it
right off my body.

That's right,
I have been sanitized
for your protection.

Yep, now, you can be as

close as you want to be.

Isn't that great?

Choo.

The shower didn't work.

Maybe I'm dry clean only.

Cody, I don't think
she's allergic to the
cat hair on your body.

I think she's allergic to you.

No, that can't be, man.

Me and Dana are buds.

- Go ahead, tell him, Dana.
- Choo.

Choo.

Painful revelation.

I make you sick.

Maybe I just better
stay away from you?

For the rest of my life.

- Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?

Is there something going on
between you and Al?

Why? Why do you ask?

Gee, I don't know.
Maybe because at dinner,

when you asked her
to pass the rolls,

she fired one at your head.

I guess she's just a

little ticked off at me

because I told her
she couldn't go out
with that Zack, tonight.

Frank,
why did you do that?

Well, honey, because
he's a weirdo.
He looks like one of those

Pastafarians.

Frank, that is not the problem
and you know it.

He could have been
an Eagle Scout,

and you
wouldn't have liked him.

Fathers just don't like
the idea

of their teenage daughters
starting to date.

It brings up all sorts of
sexual issues.

Hey, hey, hey,
that is my daughter.

There is nothing sexual
about her.

She's right, Dad,
I know it's hard
to talk about,

but you gotta face the facts.
I mean, Al's growing up.

Even my friends are starting
to check her out.

Well, you tell them
to stop it.

If I catch one of them
even thinking she's pretty,
I'll clean his clock.

Guys, um,
we've got a problem with Al.

Why? What now?

Well,
she went into the bathroom

and the next thing I knew,
the window was open,

the emergency ladder
was hanging down,
and she was gone.

I knew it. That snake head
made her do this.

Where are you going?

I'll tell you where I'm going.

I'm going up to Lookout Hill
and kick some skirt.

Frank. Frank.

Frank, let me drive.

There that's a meteor.

A shooting star.

That was...
That was beautiful.
It was like,

like a giant flaming spitball.

I'm really glad we're here.

Yeah, me, too.

See that big cluster of stars?

That's the Andromeda Galaxy.

Check it out in the scope.

Frank, Frank, Frank

Ew, God.

Did we have to park
a half mile away?

I'm not dressed for
Lion Country Safari.

I told you.

If we went up the main road,
the kids would see the lights

and then that Zack would
run away like the

kilt wearing, half female
commie that he is.

Frank.

You know,
just lighten up.
For all you know,

there's nothing's going on.
They're probably just
looking at stars.

I'm telling you, Carol,
that kid is trouble.

Look down there.

Are you cold?

Yeah, a little.

Here, take my coat.

Thanks.

Wow, what an animal.

I'm telling you, honey,
he's just setting her up

so he can make his move.

So, what time are you
supposed to be home?

Don't worry about it.

My dad doesn't even know
I'm gone.

I snuck out.

You snuck out?

That's not cool.

But, I I thought you were this

big anti establishment guy.

I am,
with faceless institutions.

But this is your dad.

If he doesn't know
where you are,
he'll worry about you.

Yeah, Frank.

This kid's
a menace to society.

I think we should
call in the SWAT team.

Okay, okay, I was wrong.

The kid's a saint.

He's a saint in drag,
but he's a saint.

Come on. Let's go before
they see us?

Careful. Care-- Careful,
Frank, it's slippery.

Well, why do you women
wear shoes you can't walk in?

I mean,
they don't even
look that good.

Frank!

Frank!

Well, I didn't know
you kids were coming up here.

We could have car pooled.

Boy,

you really know
what you're doing.

Where did you learn to wrap
an ankle like that?

I'm an Eagle Scout.

Well,
I'll take over here, Zack.

I know you need to go home.
I'll take care of Jungle Boy.

Zack.

Sir?

I'm sorry about the hard time
I've been giving you.

Hey, no problem, sir.

I'm used to it.

You take a lot of crap
when you look like a freak.

-Goodnight,
Mr. and Mrs. Lambert.
-Goodnight.

See you at school, Zack.

Bye, Al.

Al, I--
I guess we better talk.

You're darn right.

Man spies on his daughter,

puts down her boyfriend,
insults my shoes...

Look, Dad, um,

I'm sorry.

I know
I shouldn't have snuck out.

No,
you shouldn't have snuck out.

But, Al, I kind of figure
I owe you an apology, too.

You know,
I kind of thought so, too,

but I didn't want to
bring it up.

I didn't like Zack at first.

I thought it was
because of the way he looked.

The more I thought about it,

I figure he could have
come in here looking like
the all American boy and

I still would have a problem.

Why?

Listen, Al,
I know you're growing up now.

I can see you're becoming
a beautiful young lady.

But somewhere in my mind,

there's a part of you
that'll always be that.

little girl that they--

That they put in my arms
the day you were born.

I would rock you, and

feed you, and

cuddle you.

And now I have to deal with

the fact that some other guy's
gonna be cuddling you.

And I hate that!

Dad, you know, it's

only normal for me to be
getting interested in boys.

Well, I know. And listen,
it's not your problem, Al.
It's mine.

It's just hard to get used to

not being the only man
in your life anymore.

Well, Dad,
even though I'm dating,

you'll always be the
most important guy in my life.

No, I won't.

But I would like to
hold on to that thought
as long as possible.

You know, Dad.

We haven't hung
out for a while.

Why don't we do
something together
next weekend?

Hey, hey, I can get tickets
to the Packers game.

I'll get three.
You, me, and Zack.

Actually, um,

Zack's kind of anti football.

He thinks it's a

male ritual that

expresses
the primitive need to

dominate through violence.

And how do you feel
about football now?

I love it.

That's my girl.

Cody, what are you doing?

Well,

I make you sick, so,

I'm packing up all my stuff
and heading down the road.

But, Cody, you live here.

You've got to stay.
I mean, my sneezing's--

Chooo.

It's not that bad.

Choo.

I'll be fine.
- choo.

Look at you, Dana. Man,
you can't even come near me
without sneezing.

But we've got to talk.

Cody, would you mind
getting in the van

while we talk?
I think I just
blew out an eardrum.

Sure, okay.

Cody,

look,

this is really hard
for me to say, but...

I don't want you to leave.

I mean,

I know that

I haven't always been
the nicest person
in the world to you,

but,

this is your home.

You belong here.

And even though
I make a lot of jokes,

you're a great guy.

This place
wouldn't be the same
without you.

What?

Didn't you hear a word
that I said?

Well, no, man, hey,

with the van door shut,
and the window rolled up,

this place seals up
like Tupperware.

You know, I thought
I could read lips,

but I don't know.
I guess I can't.

All I'm saying is,
you can't leave.

I'll get shots,
or take pills, or whatever.
We'll figure out a way.

Poignant moment.

I'd give you a little hug
if I didn't think you'd get
snot all over me.

Hi, Dana. Hey, Cody.

Thanks for loaning me
your homemade shampoo.

This stuff is fantastic.

I mean,
it leaves my hair soft,

yet manageable.

And it's gentle enough
to use every day.

Choo.

Boy, Tupperware time.

Wait a minute!

Cody's sealed up in the van...

Choo.

And I just sneezed.

Do you know what that means?

You're allergic to me, too?

No, it's the shampoo.

Cody, it's not you.
It's the shampoo.
You can stay.

What?

Cody, you can stay.
I'm not allergic to you.

It's your shampoo.

I can stay?

Dudesie! Alright!

I'm gonna live
with you forever!
Come here, come here

You, too, Kare bear. Come on,
group hug, group hug.

I love you, guys.

Hello, sir.

Hello, Zack, what's going on?

I'm just waiting for Al
to come downstairs.

Well, I hope you don't mind
me eating in front of you,

'cause I had to work late
and I am starved.

-Sir.
-Yeah?

Before you eat that steak,
I think there's something
you should know.

What's that?

That steak came from a cow
that was pumped up on hormones

and then brutally slaughtered.

Yeah, okay.

Fine, I'll just,

I'll just have a salad.

Sir, I wouldn't do that.

Why? Was the lettuce
brutally slaughtered, too?

No, sir, but the farm workers
who picked it are oppressed,

forced to work under
subhuman conditions.

Each bite of that lettuce
condemns someone to a lifetime
of slavery and torture.

I,

I had,
I had a big lunch,

so I guess I'll be okay.

-Sir.
-Zack,

you ruined my steak,
you put me off my salad.

You want to date my daughter,
don't mess with my beer.

That's a boy.