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1
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,310
Frank, what's this all about?
2
00:00:06,397 --> 00:00:08,138
You're going to find out
soon enough.
3
00:00:08,225 --> 00:00:09,226
When they won't even tell you
what the meeting's about,
4
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:10,923
you know it's gotta be bad.
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,100
Yeah, I can feel it.
We're gonna get hosed.
6
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,666
Just sit down,
sit down, sit down.
7
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,538
Here you go.
Gimme that.
8
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,061
C'mon, son, gimme that.
9
00:00:18,148 --> 00:00:19,715
Hey, Einstein, gimme that.
10
00:00:19,802 --> 00:00:21,673
You look fine,
you look just fine. Okay.
11
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,591
Alright, now, everybody,
12
00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:30,813
Carol and I have something
very important to tell you.
13
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:31,901
Tell them, honey.
14
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:38,995
Well, I know that
this is going to come
as a bit of a surprise,
15
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:41,998
but I really think that
you will all be thrilled.
16
00:00:44,261 --> 00:00:47,047
Frank and I are going
to have a baby.
17
00:02:07,997 --> 00:02:11,609
Well, somebody say something.
18
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,698
You're having a baby?
Yes.
19
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:16,266
Mom, we're already
living three to a room.
20
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,572
Don't you think
it's about time
21
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,443
to shut down
the old assembly line?
22
00:02:23,665 --> 00:02:27,016
Really, Mother.
I mean,
having a seventh child.
23
00:02:27,103 --> 00:02:29,366
That's so third world.
24
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:33,631
I really wish you guys
had asked us kids
25
00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:35,459
before you went ahead
and popped a bun in the oven.
26
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:38,680
Hey, excuse me,
27
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:42,205
but Carol and I do not need
your permission to...
28
00:02:42,292 --> 00:02:43,424
Bake.
29
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,689
Yeah, and I don't like
your selfish attitudes.
30
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:49,473
I mean,
a baby is no trouble at all.
31
00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:52,389
For the first six months
all it does is eat and sleep.
32
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:55,305
Just what we need,
another Lambert.
33
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:58,003
Like living
with you guys is a little
piece of heaven?
34
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,483
All right,
all right, all right.
35
00:02:59,570 --> 00:03:01,006
Now just wait a minute here.
36
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:04,271
This baby is not going to be
a Foster or a Lambert.
37
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:06,142
It's going to be a combination
of the both of us.
38
00:03:06,229 --> 00:03:07,883
Great, a mutant.
39
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:13,584
You're the only mutant
around here.
40
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:14,933
- Shut up.
- Make me.
41
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,326
Don't tell my brother
to shut up.
42
00:03:21,244 --> 00:03:23,203
All right, that's enough!
43
00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,728
You know,
I'm very disappointed.
44
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:29,513
I really thought that this
would be a special
family moment
45
00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:31,689
that we would all
treasure together,
46
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:35,824
full of warmth and tenderness,
and caring, and sharing,
and love.
47
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,478
I can see that's impossible.
48
00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,393
So why don't you all get lost.
You make me sick.
49
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,875
Talk about your mood swings.
50
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:49,403
Yeah, you think
she's grouchy now,
51
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,101
wait 'til she's
tubbing in at 175.
52
00:03:58,586 --> 00:04:00,065
Well, I thought
this went pretty well
53
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:02,198
for a family meeting, honey.
54
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,374
At least we didn't have to
send anybody to
the emergency room.
55
00:04:05,810 --> 00:04:07,812
Boy.
56
00:04:07,899 --> 00:04:09,336
Frank, this is terrible.
57
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,642
It's like a war zone
around here.
58
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:13,775
I really feel nervous
about bringing a baby
59
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,212
into such
a hostile environment.
60
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,867
You know,
I think we should see
a family therapist.
61
00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:22,131
Honey, no.
62
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:24,699
Gee, no.
Not a shrink.
63
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,744
I don't want to sit
with some stranger
64
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,920
and discuss my potty training.
65
00:04:31,096 --> 00:04:34,143
Frank, I really want all of us
to go into family therapy.
66
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:37,712
In fact,
I'm using my "I insist."
67
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,888
You can't do that.
Yes, I can.
68
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:42,064
We each get one
"I insist" per year.
69
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:44,371
And you already
used yours to buy
that stupid yard weasel.
70
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,026
Well, there's got to be
a better way
71
00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,072
than seeing
a therapist, honey.
72
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:53,597
Can't we just
write "Dear Abby"
or, or call "DialAPrayer?"
73
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:56,818
Forget it, Frank.
I am invoking my "I insist."
74
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:59,299
In fact, I am going upstairs
right now
75
00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,518
to tell the kids we are all
going into family therapy.
76
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,346
Fine, I'll wait here
and catch you
77
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,956
when they throw you back down.
78
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,442
Man, this stinks.
79
00:05:12,529 --> 00:05:14,531
We have to go to therapy
just because the geezers
are having a baby.
80
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:17,665
I know, this kid's already
a pain in the butt.
81
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:25,716
You know, some days
the bluebird of happiness
82
00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:28,197
just drops
a load on your windshield.
83
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:32,680
I guess you're bummed
about the baby, too?
84
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,203
No, I love babies.
85
00:05:34,290 --> 00:05:36,379
And I'm glad you two
are in therapy.
86
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:37,815
You guys got
a lot of problems.
87
00:05:39,904 --> 00:05:42,603
Nah, I'm just bummed because
I'm turning into a werewolf.
88
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,479
Cody, wait a minute,
89
00:05:49,566 --> 00:05:51,263
did you say you were turning
into a werewolf?
90
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,004
Yeah, buddy.
91
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,311
Talk about your
bad hair day?
92
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,881
Cody, why would you think
you're turning
into a werewolf?
93
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:01,535
Simple.
94
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,537
Hey, I was on this
overnight campout, okay,
95
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:06,757
and this little baby wolf cub
accidentally bit me.
96
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:08,977
So?
97
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:12,023
So, it's a well documented
scientific fact.
98
00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:14,983
You get bit by a wolf,
you turn into a werewolf.
99
00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:18,726
Don't you people
ever watch movies?
100
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:21,859
Cody, just 'cause
it's in the movies
doesn't mean it's real.
101
00:06:21,946 --> 00:06:23,295
I mean,
those guys are just actors
102
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,427
with a lot of makeup.
103
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:25,994
Yeah, right.
104
00:06:26,081 --> 00:06:27,735
Next thing
you're going to tell me
105
00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,911
Free Willy was just some
big fat guy in a whale suit.
106
00:06:32,783 --> 00:06:36,439
Cody, trust me,
there's no such things
as werewolves.
107
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,441
Well, I hope
you guys are right, man.
108
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:39,660
Because after all
the nice things
109
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:41,488
you people have done for me,
110
00:06:41,575 --> 00:06:43,446
man, I'd hate to have to drag
the whole family out back
111
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,187
and feed on you
for three or four days.
112
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:51,889
And we're the ones
going to therapy.
113
00:07:02,726 --> 00:07:06,077
Hi, I'm Dr. Russell.
You must be the Fosters
and the Lamberts.
114
00:07:06,164 --> 00:07:11,692
Well, yes! Hi, there,
I'm Carol and this is
my husband, Frank.
115
00:07:11,779 --> 00:07:13,607
How are you?
I'm fine, I'm fine.
116
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,173
I mean, I'm really fine.
This is all her idea.
117
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,437
I'm totally fine.
118
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:20,004
I'm glad you're fine, Frank.
I am. I am.
119
00:07:20,091 --> 00:07:21,745
Yes, and these are our kids,
120
00:07:21,832 --> 00:07:24,705
JT, Dana, Karen, Brendan,
Mark and Al.
121
00:07:24,792 --> 00:07:27,490
As I mentioned on the phone,
we're a blended family.
122
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,623
Move over, Beanhead,
you're hogging the couch.
123
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:32,016
Don't call me Beanhead,
Gasbag.
124
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,151
They-- They haven't really
finished blending yet.
125
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:40,024
Well, it's hard
to blend with JT.
126
00:07:40,111 --> 00:07:42,679
He came to us from
the AdoptAPet Program.
127
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:46,117
Go chase your tail, Barky.
128
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:49,556
Yeah, no one else will.
129
00:07:49,643 --> 00:07:51,949
You know, maybe it would be
a better use of our time
130
00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:54,430
if I speak with,
each of you individually.
131
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,911
JT, why don't I
start with you.
132
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,609
Okay,
might as well
get it over with.
133
00:08:03,308 --> 00:08:04,745
I'm kind of nervous.
134
00:08:04,832 --> 00:08:06,877
What happens in
a therapist's office?
135
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,532
It's no big deal.
You just go in there,
sit on a couch,
136
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:10,925
and talk about yourself.
137
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:13,536
Hey, that sounds like fun.
138
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,539
Will all the rest of you
talk about me, too?
139
00:08:21,631 --> 00:08:23,415
Sure, dear.
140
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,462
So, why don't you tell me
141
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,812
how you feel
about having a new baby
coming into the house?
142
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,598
It ticks me off.
143
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:33,948
All my life
I've had to share a room.
144
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:35,515
Now they're probably going to
145
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,125
give this little squirt
a room of it's own.
146
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:39,083
I mean, what does a baby need
its own room for?
147
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,129
You can poop
in your pants anywhere.
148
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:45,960
Well, I've got nothing against
the kid personally,
149
00:08:46,047 --> 00:08:48,092
but I've got a friend
who has a baby brother.
150
00:08:48,179 --> 00:08:49,964
I was helping her change
his diaper once.
151
00:08:50,051 --> 00:08:51,922
The kid peed right in my face.
152
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,535
What are you laughing at?
153
00:08:58,799 --> 00:09:02,193
Well, I guess having a baby
will be okay,
154
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,675
I just don't deal well
with change.
155
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:08,373
I guess the only thing
good about having a baby is,
156
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,594
maybe it will get
my mother off my back.
157
00:09:11,681 --> 00:09:15,555
See, she's having trouble
accepting
my budding sexuality.
158
00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:19,820
Can we talk about that?
159
00:09:22,823 --> 00:09:25,042
I don't like this at all.
160
00:09:25,129 --> 00:09:27,436
See, right now,
I can get away with murder
161
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:30,047
because I'm the youngest
and the cutest.
162
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,878
But there's nothing cuter
than a baby.
163
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:37,011
Dude, I'm getting shafted.
164
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:43,887
Look, I need my beauty sleep.
165
00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:46,934
What if this baby cries
the night before the prom?
166
00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:50,024
I'll have to go
with puffy eyes.
167
00:09:50,111 --> 00:09:53,418
I mean, how's my date going to
feel about that?
168
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,116
Taking me to the prom
169
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,814
is probably the most important
night of his life.
170
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,906
If I show up with puffy eyes,
171
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:05,605
I don't think that's
very fair to him,
172
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,041
do you?
173
00:10:09,739 --> 00:10:11,306
I guess having a baby means
174
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:13,743
Mom and Frank
are really married.
175
00:10:13,830 --> 00:10:16,137
Up until now,
I tried to think of Frank as
176
00:10:16,224 --> 00:10:20,663
sort of a live-in handyman
who wouldn't go away.
177
00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,752
Kind of like that Eldin guy
on Murphy Brown.
178
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,190
Well, at first, I thought
179
00:10:26,277 --> 00:10:29,063
the idea of having a baby
was kind of scary.
180
00:10:29,150 --> 00:10:31,195
I mean, I'm no spring chicken.
181
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,850
Sure, I look great, but I'm
a lot older than you think.
182
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,160
But then the more
I thought about it,
183
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,205
I thought, "Hey, maybe
we can actually train this one
184
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,033
"to do a little work
around the house."
185
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,775
You know, be different
than the rest
of the kids.
186
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:47,124
Do you have a beer
to go with these?
187
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:48,822
I'm dry as toast.
188
00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:50,258
I... I don't need a beer.
189
00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,563
I mean, I'm not dependent
on it, or anything.
190
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,872
Well, it's really very simple,
191
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,657
I just want to create
an environment
192
00:10:57,744 --> 00:11:00,398
for my baby that's perfect.
193
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:04,098
You know, a loving family,
organically grown food,
194
00:11:04,185 --> 00:11:05,795
gender-neutral toys,
195
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:09,016
and a preschool
that will stimulate his mind,
196
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:12,497
and yet, indulge
his childlike need for play.
197
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:18,025
See, I just want
everything perfect.
198
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:21,158
Do you mind if I,
straighten out your diplomas?
199
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:24,248
They're kind of tilted
and it's just
driving me crazy.
200
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:36,870
Well, I must say that,
201
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:40,612
talking with everyone
has been very educational.
202
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,789
So, when would you
like us all
to come back?
203
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:45,879
I don't think
everybody needs to come back.
204
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,403
Most of you are having
a pretty normal reaction
205
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:51,058
to the prospect of a new baby
in the house.
206
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,670
But there is one person
I would like to see again.
207
00:11:55,758 --> 00:11:57,368
But, you said it was normal
208
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,719
for me
to have dreams like that
about Heather Locklear.
209
00:12:02,112 --> 00:12:03,505
It... It is, Mark.
210
00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,942
The person I want to
talk to, is your mother.
211
00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,990
Me?
212
00:12:10,077 --> 00:12:12,035
What's wrong with me?
213
00:12:12,122 --> 00:12:14,995
Well, I just think it might be
beneficial for us,
214
00:12:15,082 --> 00:12:17,867
to spend
some more time together.
215
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,347
Say, twice a week.
216
00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,958
Twice a week?
217
00:12:22,045 --> 00:12:23,917
Boy, Carol,
you must be a real wacko.
218
00:12:25,527 --> 00:12:27,268
Hey, hey, hey,
now if the doctor thinks that
219
00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:29,444
Carol is sick enough
to need twice a week,
220
00:12:29,531 --> 00:12:31,315
then that's just the way
it's gonna be.
221
00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,756
Don't you worry, honey,
we're gonna beat this thing.
222
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,820
Hey, Uncle Frank.
Hey, Cody. What's up?
223
00:12:57,907 --> 00:13:00,518
Well, I've been doing
some research on werewolves
224
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:04,305
and I'm afraid it doesn't look
too good for me, Uncle Frank.
225
00:13:04,392 --> 00:13:07,221
Cody, do you really think
you're turning
into a werewolf?
226
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:08,788
Yeah. Well,
it's kind of hard to
227
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:11,965
ignore compelling evidence
like this.
228
00:13:12,052 --> 00:13:14,141
All About Werewolves.
229
00:13:14,228 --> 00:13:16,578
From the author of
All About Vampires,
All About Aliens.
230
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,798
Sounds like
quite an authority.
231
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,408
Yeah, buddy.
232
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:22,279
According to this book,
233
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:24,891
I'm starting to display all
kinds of wolf-like tendencies.
234
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,676
Like what?
You starting to run
with a pack?
235
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:35,640
No, not yet, but my sense
of smell is getting keener.
236
00:13:35,727 --> 00:13:37,555
Like, for example, right now,
237
00:13:37,642 --> 00:13:39,427
I could tell
you're eating an apple.
238
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:45,476
Code, you can see
I'm eating an apple.
239
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,043
And that's another thing.
240
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,698
My eyesight's getting
keener, too.
241
00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,395
That's not the only thing.
242
00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,701
Check this out.
243
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:55,356
When I scratch my belly,
my leg jiggles.
244
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:01,492
Cody, you are not turning
into a werewolf.
245
00:14:01,579 --> 00:14:03,930
It's just the power
of suggestion.
246
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:05,453
Yeah, well,
I hope you're right,
247
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,846
but just to be
on the safe side,
248
00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:09,109
you better lock me
in my van tonight.
249
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,937
There's gonna be a full moon.
250
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,334
You know, Cody,
maybe you should be locked up.
251
00:15:07,210 --> 00:15:08,733
Gnarly.
252
00:15:18,482 --> 00:15:20,223
I like it.
253
00:15:26,099 --> 00:15:28,536
Dude. What a cool dream.
254
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,760
Hi, guys.
Hi, honey.
255
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,675
Sorry, I'm late,
256
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:40,722
I just had the most incredible
breakthrough in therapy today.
257
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:42,419
I was telling Dr. Russell
how I wished I could
258
00:15:42,506 --> 00:15:45,553
bring this baby into a more
peaceful environment.
259
00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:46,989
And then it dawned on me.
260
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,252
If we could just have one day,
261
00:15:49,339 --> 00:15:51,341
one day, with nobody arguing,
262
00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:54,431
maybe, just maybe,
everybody would see
how nice it could be.
263
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:57,130
So, he told me I should
propose it to the family.
264
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:00,307
Propose what?
265
00:16:01,830 --> 00:16:04,398
That for 24 hours,
nobody argues.
266
00:16:04,485 --> 00:16:06,530
You mean,
we're not allowed to talk?
267
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:09,229
Well,
of course you can talk,
268
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,535
you just can't be mean
or insult one another.
269
00:16:11,622 --> 00:16:14,234
Then what's the point
of talking?
270
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,584
Honey, maybe this is a little
too difficult for the kids.
271
00:16:16,671 --> 00:16:18,455
Why don't we start out
with something simpler,
272
00:16:18,542 --> 00:16:20,370
you know,
like just cutting out
all the bad words
273
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:23,199
and suggestions
that people "stuff" things.
274
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,159
Frank, it's only
24 hours.
275
00:16:26,246 --> 00:16:29,162
And this is really
important to me.
276
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:31,991
All right, if this is
going to help you
with your mental problem,
277
00:16:32,078 --> 00:16:33,296
then I'm all for it.
278
00:16:36,082 --> 00:16:40,303
Frank, I do not
have a mental problem.
279
00:16:40,390 --> 00:16:42,653
I just have issues.
280
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:45,569
Okay, why don't we all
just sit down and have a nice,
281
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,049
pleasant dinner together?
282
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,446
Please, pass the corn, Barky.
283
00:16:52,533 --> 00:16:54,361
Don't call me Barky,
Greaseball.
284
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,145
I said, "please."
285
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,321
Hey, hey, hey,
now remember,
no arguing, none.
286
00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:03,457
JT, there is no need to call
Dana names like "Barky."
287
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:05,633
And Dana,
there are better ways
288
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:09,071
to communicate your feelings
than by trading insults.
289
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:14,511
Now, why don't you just say,
"JT, when you call me a name,
290
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,383
"it hurts my feelings.
291
00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,906
"I wish you wouldn't do that
292
00:17:17,993 --> 00:17:20,126
"and I would appreciate
an apology."
293
00:17:22,345 --> 00:17:25,174
I would say that, Mom,
but when I use big words
294
00:17:25,261 --> 00:17:29,570
like "appreciate",
JT's little peabrain explodes.
295
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,052
Stuff it,
Possum Breath.
296
00:17:33,139 --> 00:17:34,314
JT...
297
00:17:34,401 --> 00:17:35,663
She started it.
298
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,056
Yeah, she's always
starting stuff.
299
00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,492
Hey, butt out.
300
00:17:38,579 --> 00:17:40,320
How would you like
a fork up your nose?
301
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:41,973
Why don't you
take a flying leap
into Lake Ugly.
302
00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,193
That's a real good one.
303
00:17:46,108 --> 00:17:49,198
Hey, hey, hey,
no arguing, okay?
304
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,678
Forget it, Frank,
just let them bicker.
305
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:51,940
It's all they know how to do.
306
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,811
I hope you all
have a good time
307
00:17:53,898 --> 00:17:55,161
tearing one another's
throats out.
308
00:17:55,248 --> 00:17:57,163
But I don't have to
listen to it.
309
00:17:57,250 --> 00:17:58,860
Come on now, Carol,
don't go.
310
00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,905
No, no, Frank, really.
I would rather
be alone right now.
311
00:18:07,521 --> 00:18:09,436
What?
We were just talking.
312
00:18:12,308 --> 00:18:16,095
All she asked for was
24 hours without arguing,
313
00:18:16,182 --> 00:18:18,836
you guys couldn't give her
24 seconds.
314
00:18:18,923 --> 00:18:20,186
I don't know
what she's so mad about.
315
00:18:20,273 --> 00:18:21,970
We're always
bagging on each other.
316
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,451
Yeah, well maybe it's starting
to get a little old?
317
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:50,607
Carol, can I talk
to you for a second?
318
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:52,740
Why?
319
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,134
Well, I...
I know you're upset.
320
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,310
I just don't understand
why you kids have to call
321
00:18:57,397 --> 00:19:00,051
each other names all the time
and insult one another.
322
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,706
Well, don't get upset.
It's just the way we talk.
323
00:19:02,793 --> 00:19:05,622
I mean, it doesn't mean
we don't like each other.
324
00:19:05,709 --> 00:19:08,843
Right, and "Possum Breath"
is a term of endearment?
325
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,803
Well, kind of.
326
00:19:12,890 --> 00:19:14,327
Look, if I didn't like...
327
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:20,071
if I didn't like Dana,
I'd just ignore her.
328
00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:22,204
The fact that I spend so much
time insulting her,
329
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,293
shows how much I care.
330
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,861
I mean, I lie awake
thinking, "God, she got me
so good today.
331
00:19:26,948 --> 00:19:29,864
"How can I
bust her chops tomorrow?"
332
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:34,173
If that's not brotherly love,
I don't know what is.
333
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,176
Well, maybe
that works for you,
you're practically grown up.
334
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:39,482
But what about this baby?
335
00:19:39,569 --> 00:19:41,745
I mean, is there any chance
at all that you're
going to be nice to him?
336
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:43,965
Well...
337
00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:45,662
No.
338
00:19:47,882 --> 00:19:50,624
I mean, I'd like to say yes,
but I'd be lying.
339
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:51,973
We're going to razz
the little kid,
340
00:19:52,060 --> 00:19:53,104
we're going to play
tricks on him,
341
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,236
we're going to steal his toys.
342
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:56,020
Generally just pick on him.
343
00:19:56,107 --> 00:19:58,240
But let me tell you something.
344
00:19:58,327 --> 00:20:00,068
When that kid goes
into kindergarten
and somebody calls him a name,
345
00:20:00,155 --> 00:20:03,506
he'll just turn around
and say,
"Hey, stuff it, Bozo."
346
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,204
And then we'll know
we've done our job.
347
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,035
Now, let me get this straight.
348
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:16,258
You mean, all this sniping
at one another
is some strange,
349
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:20,349
twisted, perverted
sign of affection?
350
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,133
Now you're finally getting it!
351
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:26,268
And you guys really
care about each other?
352
00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,227
Exactly.
353
00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:29,880
Well, sometimes
we go overboard
with the name-calling,
354
00:20:29,967 --> 00:20:32,187
but, hey, nothing's perfect.
355
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:34,798
"Nothing's perfect."
356
00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:38,149
That's what my therapist said
when I tried to
alphabetize his books.
357
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,718
God, you do need
to go twice a week.
358
00:20:43,894 --> 00:20:45,896
All right,
I'll tell you what.
359
00:20:45,983 --> 00:20:48,682
I'll try to, you know,
stop being
such a control freak,
360
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:51,467
and why don't you
try to tone down
the name-calling?
361
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,643
Deal.
362
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:57,691
You know, JT,
you're okay.
363
00:20:57,778 --> 00:20:58,953
You are too, Carol.
364
00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,128
Thanks.
365
00:21:01,303 --> 00:21:03,000
Carol,
just one more thing.
366
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:04,132
What's that?
367
00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,742
Don't tell Dana I like her.
368
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,396
It could ruin
our whole relationship.
369
00:21:10,704 --> 00:21:13,228
Hey, Barky, get your bony butt off my chair.
370
00:21:13,315 --> 00:21:15,274
Park it
somewhere else, Greaseball.
371
00:21:22,411 --> 00:21:23,543
Hey, Cody.
372
00:21:23,630 --> 00:21:24,631
Hey, Uncle Frank.
373
00:21:24,718 --> 00:21:25,849
What's up?
374
00:21:25,936 --> 00:21:28,243
Dude,
I gotta apologize to you.
375
00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:30,854
I've been acting like a real
cheesebrain lately.
376
00:21:32,900 --> 00:21:35,468
Imagine, I thought I was gonna
turn into a werewolf.
377
00:21:35,555 --> 00:21:38,819
Well, now, you know,
you read enough books
about turning into a werewolf,
378
00:21:38,906 --> 00:21:41,125
and pretty soon, you think you
are turning into a werewolf.
379
00:21:41,212 --> 00:21:43,258
It's the power of suggestion.
380
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:45,347
It's like
if somebody says to you,
381
00:21:45,434 --> 00:21:48,219
you know, "You look
like you're getting sick."
382
00:21:48,307 --> 00:21:53,007
And pretty soon,
you think, "Wow, I do have
a kind of fever,
383
00:21:53,094 --> 00:21:56,271
"and my head hurts,
384
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:57,794
"and my throat's
a little scratchy,
385
00:21:57,881 --> 00:22:00,928
"and,
my stomach is really upset."
386
00:22:01,015 --> 00:22:03,974
Pretty soon, you've talked
yourself into believing
you've got the flu.
387
00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:08,544
God, you know, I'd love
to stay and talk
with you, Uncle Frank,
388
00:22:08,631 --> 00:22:10,851
but I'm not feeling too good.
389
00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:12,418
I think I'm coming down
with the flu.
28106
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